The next few days felt like torture for Severus as he struggled to come to terms with the revelations of the past day and the guilt he felt over hurting Lily and mourned their lost friendship whilst also trying to keep up the pretence of still wanting to join the Death Eaters in front of his housemates.

He felt so guilty that he kept trying to catch Lily's eye just so he could show he was sincere in his apology yet at the same time he dreaded meeting her eye, fortunately, she went out of her way to avoid him for the last few days of term so the choice was taken out of his hands.

Eventually, at breakfast on the last day of term, he was handed a note from his overly cheerful head of house. He waited until he was out of the great hall and had found a private nook to open it and seeing that it was from the headmaster he quickly finished packing his trunk before hurrying up to his office.

The headmaster was waiting for him behind his desk and greeted him more warmly than he had been used to before "ah Severus come in, have a seat" he said smiling benignly at him.

"Sir, have you found anything about my mark?" he asked nervously.

"I've explored a few possible theories but more on that later, I thought first you might want to see the results of the test I started the other day to determine your lineage. Tea?" he offered gesturing to the tea service and biscuits laid out on one side of the desk before starting to pour.

"Uh no, that is I'm alright thank you" he politely declined, he had too much on his mind to be distracted with tea.

"Nonsense, I find a good brew quite soothing for the nerves don't you?" he insisted pushing one of the steaming mugs across.

He reluctantly accepted, wrapping his hands around the mug but not drinking any "uh sir" he started keen to get down to business.

"Oh yes of course well you must be eager to get started" he pulled out the parchment and laid it out so he could see it easily, "it threw up some quite interesting results. Now see here, it appears you're descended from the Gaunt line on your father's line and of course from the Prince line on your mother's side" he continued on explaining.

"But I don't understand, see here it says that someone called Tom Riddle's my father but I've never heard of him, this man who contacted me claims to be Lord Voldemort" he said in confusion as he studied the parchment more closely.

"Ah yes, well you see this entry here is in a different colour, that indicates Tom Riddle's father was a muggle and his mother was a witch. Now we do not know quite what happened but somehow Tom ended up abandoned at an orphanage when he was only a newborn, his mother died shortly after giving birth and his father Tom Riddle senior wanted nothing to do with the baby. Tom was always very proud of his magical heritage to the point of obsession. I believe he hated being reminded of his muggle father who had abandoned him and therefore chose to change his name to the far more impressive and fear-inspiring Lord Voldemort after he graduated to distance himself from the muggle side of his heritage and avoid suspicion being cast upon him by any of his followers as the name Tom Riddle faded out of existence a few years after he left."

"Now look see you are descended from two powerful magical lines. Both the Gaunt and Prince lines were ancient and noble pureblood families, they are both reported to have strong links to the Slytherin line in fact the Prince line is even thought to go back as far as Merlin himself. They also both have a history of producing wizards with powerful magic, which is no doubt part of the reason why Tom chose your mother to bear his child."

"Unfortunately the Gaunt line was also rumoured to be rife with inbreeding leading to some mental instability and in their more recent history the Gaunt family were notorious for being firm believers in pureblood supremacy and hated anyone who was a muggle or muggle born which resulted in several members of the family being arrested for attacking muggles"

"Great, so on top of being related to a monster I'm mentally unstable with an inclination to attack muggles, guess that explains why my father's the leader of a group called the Death Eaters then" groused Severus who had been trying his best to keep up with his explanation and under different circumstances would have found this bit of family history quite fascinating.

"Now Severus you are hardly a monster. I'm also sure if you had any sort of mental instability it would have manifested itself by now and I've not seen any evidence to support that theory" he reassured him patting his arm soothingly "besides the Prince family although firm supporters of purebloods being restored to their proper place and being well known for immersing themselves in the dark arts were by no means fanatic to the same level and were considered much more mentally stable"

He took a moment to absorb this, leaning back and closing his eyes "what I don't get is why he left me to grow up in a muggle town and be raised by my muggle father who abused me on a regular basis and my mother who barely noticed my existence. He's clearly known of my existence for a long time and yet he only chooses to contact me now when I've almost come of age, he could have come for me and my mother and raised me like a proper pureblood if he wanted me to be his heir" he said the hurt obvious in his voice.

Albus Dumbledore examined the young man and wondered how he was going to break his dream of having possibly missed out on having a perfect family life "what you must understand is that Tom was always a very cold, manipulative young man. He had people who followed him almost fanatically but I do not believe he ever had what we would call friends or that he ever cared for another person. I fear that the decision to leave you to grow up in a muggle town with abusive and negligent parents was most likely a deliberate and calculated decision on his part and that he might even have manipulated or enchanted your parents, he was well known for being able to be quite persuasive and able manipulate peoples minds"

His black eyes shot open at that "what do you mean deliberately manipulated me and my parents?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I believe he may have wanted you to grow up to be just as bitter as he was. He probably thought that growing up impoverished, overlooked and abused in a town full of muggles would ensure that you would grow up with an overwhelming hatred of muggles just like he did and lacking a proper parent figure would make you easier to manipulate and mould in his own image"

"Great" he groaned "my whole life has really been a lie, I don't understand what my mother saw in him."

The headmaster reached out and put his hand on his arm getly "I know and I am truly sorry" he paused "Severus there is more that I have uncovered which could help shed light, but it is rather grim, I'm afraid you may not want to hear it."

He looked down at the hand on his arm and up at the concerned face, he decided he needed to know the truth as horrible as it may be exhaled "go on tell me"

"Are you sure?" he looked at him in concern.

He nodded "better to know what you're fighting right?" he said with a grimace.

"Quite. Alright well, your mother disappeared quite suddenly after she graduated. Her friends reported seeing someone meeting her outside the gates of Hogwarts and apparating her away suddenly and without warning. She disappeared without a trace and no one knew what had happened to her even her parents had no idea and eventually denied all knowledge of having a daughter"

"It wasn't until we were sorting out the acceptance letters and saw your name that we learned that she was settled with a family and muggle husband. Not knowing the details we assumed naturally that she had simply eloped with this strange man to the muggle world to escape her parents and had met and fallen in love with a muggle and started a family in the process disgracing her family. It was most out of character as she had always been a very quiet, shy student, good grades, subservient to her parents and generally a model daughter not at all the sort to run away from home with a muggle but no one thought much of it until you showed me that letter"

He paused composing himself before continuing "you see shortly after you were born there were a spate of cases of women disappearing often for hours sometimes longer and appearing again with no memory of what had happened, only to discover that they were mysteriously pregnant months later. Nothing could ever be proven but it was suspected that they had been forced to have sex for the purposes of producing a child and then had their memory wiped before being callously abandoned. The only link that could be found was that all the cases that were reported were young or unmarried women from pureblood families although of course there may have been more women who did not come forward as they were already married."

"Now in light of this new evidence, I believe that what most likely happened was that Tom deliberately abducted your mother and forced himself upon her with the sole intent of having her bear his child"

Severus stood up to this, flinging away his face contorted with rage "don't bother sugar coating it old man, you mean he raped her!"

"Yes, I did not wish to put it in such blunt terms but I am afraid so" he replied tiredly "I believe he then obliviated her and abandoned her in Cokesworth, possibly after putting some kind of compulsion charm on her in the hope that she would find and marry a muggle. I believe it was a kind of test of sorts on his part"

"You mean he's been treating us like an experiment?!" he exploded with rage, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"Yes, I'm very much afraid that he did, I am so terribly sorry Severus. I will give you a few minutes to take this in"

Eventually, after a few minutes of angry pacing, he stopped pinching the bridge of his nose and forced himself to speak calmly "you said you had made some headway into determining the dark magic you detected?" he managed to grind out.

"Yes, now you must understand that we are dealing with the most obscure dark magic. I have come up with a few theories, I have not come up with anything conclusive but I believe that what we are dealing with is a Horcrux"

"A Horcrux?" he repeated mystified, he'd never heard of such a thing.

"Yes, one of the most evil and truly dark forms of dark magic even the evilest wizards would generally not consider this type of magic, and there are few books on it however Tom always has had an irrational fear of death and obsession with how to defeat it. A Horcrux can help a person to become immortal, the catch is that to do so you must rip your soul irreversibly by deliberately committing murder without remorse and then perform a dark ritual to place the resulting fractured piece into a suitable vessel."

"You mean I have a piece of his soul inside me?!" Severus exclaimed horrified, his face turning deathly pale with a greenish tinge "I don't feel so good, I think I'm going to be sick" he proclaimed feeling the sudden urge to retch. Was this truly all this man saw him as a puppet and vessel for a piece of his soul?

In an instant, the headmaster was up on his feet, pausing only to scoop up two vials he had ready on his desk before rushing round the other side of the desk and supporting the young Slytherin male "here take these" he said, conjuring a bucket and handing him the vials.

"A calming draught and stomach soother" he explained as even in his distressed nauseous state, the young potions genius still took a moment to suspiciously examining the contents of the vials, sniffing the uncorked potions before downing them and collapsing back into his chair.

He sat with him and rubbed soothing circles along his back while he recovered and composed himself before continuing, "I believe the reason why you mistook it for a birthmark is because he planted this Horcrux when you were only a few months old."

"So that is it then, all I am to him is a vessel for a piece of his soul? My whole life has been a sham, a lie being groomed to be a slave, a puppet of him" he whispered in disbelief, still feeling shaky and drained from the news and shocked by how callous and uncaring his father seemed to be, this was certainly not the great and powerful wizard his friends had been idolising.

"That is not true Severus" he said gripping him by the shoulders and forcing him to look at him, "remember we are not defined by our family but by our choices, you have a choice now, just because he created you with a specific purpose in mind does not mean that you can not choose to be more than that. You are more than just a vessel, you are a person with real emotions and feelings, you have chosen to reject him and you can choose to continue fighting him" he urged him.

He nodded and looked up tiredly at him "can he use this, this Horcrux to control me, to take me over?"

"I'm afraid there is very little information on how a Horcrux can be activated so I can only speculate. From what I have read it appears as though it will remain dormant unless something triggers it to activate it, if that happens it appears to act like a parasite leeching the host's energy until it is strong enough to take over however exactly how this is triggered I don't know, most Horcruxes appear to use inanimate objects and so require some prolonged human contact. I suppose it's possible that he could attempt to establish some sort of mental link but I do not know for certain"

Severus didn't think he had ever felt as truly terrified and overwhelmingly hopeless as he had at that moment knowing he had a piece of that monster's soul inside him like a dormant leech and knowing that it could possibly take control of him at any point. He was desperate, he never thought he would say it but in that moment, he would resort to grovelling on his knees if it would help him get rid of this evil thing inside him.

He turned to the most powerful wizard of the light side "please you've got to help me, isn't there any way to get rid of this thing?" he pleaded.

Dumbledore rubbed his beard thoughtfully before sighing while the young man waited desperately his eyes beseeching him "not as far as I'm aware. Unfortunately, as I have already mentioned, there is very little information on Horcruxes and how to destroy them and creating one using a living creature as a host is virtually unheard of. I can only assume the vessel would need to be totally destroyed and that is not something I am willing to contemplate at this point" he noticed the young man wilt before his eyes "do not despair my boy I will not give up searching for a way to rid you of this evil"

After a moment he lifted his eyes to the older man "alright, is there at least any way that I can prevent him from controlling me?"

"Ah yes, there is and I was about to come to that in a minute, come sit" when they were once again seated he continued "I need to ask you something and I need you to answer me truthfully, you truly do not want to join the Death Eaters?"

"Of course not, how could you even ask such a thing, there's no way I'd want to join that monster. That ******* wrecked my life, forced me to grow up in an abusive household where no one cared for me and treated me as though I'm nothing more than some experiment, I hate him that monster!" he exploded in anger.

The headmaster watched in apparent calm, allowing him to rant, "I see. Severus, look at me please" he requested calmly. He waited until his breathing had evened out and he had lifted his angry black eyes to meet his own calm blue ones before casting a silent legilmens on him.

He attempted to probe the young man's mind to test his defences and to see if he was telling the truth. He was quite surprised when the instant his mind detected his presence he automatically erected strong shields and pushed him back and out of his mind quite forcefully. He was left reeling slightly from the force of the backlash, this was very interesting, it appeared the boy was a natural occlumens. He studied the boy before him as he recovered himself it appeared he had truly been underestimating him these past years for he had truly grown from the ragged will looking young boy whose dark eyes had so captivated him to become a powerful wizard.

"What did you just do?" he asked horrified as he recovered himself from the exertion of pushing the old man from his mind.

"That was a test of sorts Severus" he explained.

"A test?"

He nodded "yes I needed to determine your mental defences. What I just did is known as Legilimency. The simplest way to explain it is to compare it with the muggle art of mind reading however, that explanation does not do the art justice. Legilimency is a way of searching through a person's mind to read their thoughts, to search for specific memories of emotions. The actual process of doing this can vary depending on who is doing it. Skilled legilmens can be so subtle that you may not notice anything beyond a slight tickling sensation whereas someone who is less skilled and relies on using brute strength to force their way in can make the experience feel similar to mind raping a person and can in some cases even do irreversible damage by forcing their way in. A truly skilled legilmens may also be able to manipulate a person's mind, for example by meddling with their memories or emotions and planting suggestions to alter a person's behaviour"

"Like with my parents?" he looked at him seriously before nodding, the boy was catching on quickly.

"The opposite art to this is called Occlumency. To answer your question then Occlumency is the art of putting up shields in order to prevent someone from accessing your mind, you my boy appear to be a natural occlumens, a talent I assume you inherited from your mother's side"

"I am?" He asked, surprised as he listened with interest, his attention riveted and hanging off his every word.

"Oh yes, certainly if the way you were able to throw me from your mind was any indication. Now then where was I? Ah yes, in just the same way that Legilimency involves much more than just reading a person's mind, Occlumency also involves much more than simply erecting mental shields. A truly powerful and skilled Occlumens does not just rely on building strong shields, they employ a wide variety of defences so that an intruder does not realise they are being blocked for example by planting false memories at the front of their mind whilst hiding the true memories and those that they do not want an intruder to see. In this regard, Occlumency is much more than just creating strong mental shields, a true Occlumens must learn how to manage and control their emotions as well as how to manage and compartmentalise their own memories so they can control which memories an intruder can access and distract them by planting the memories they want them to see without the intruder being any the wiser"

"So you want me to learn Occlumency then?" he asked as the headmaster got up and levitated down some books from one of the higher shelves.

"Yes, you already have a head start but I believe that it is imperative that you master it and if possible start to study Legilimency as well, the two often go hand in hand and although not as important for you I believe that you will have little difficulty mastering it and an understanding of Legilimency may prove to be useful in the long run. These books should all be useful" he said sliding them across, he examined them briefly, noting that there were several volumes, including on Occlumency, Legilimency, shielding the mind and managing your emotions.

"Alright" he agreed, this did at least sound promising.

"Now then with regard to the other thing you asked me. You asked me if I could find a way for you to able to get out of taking the dark mark and becoming a Death Eater"

"Yes" he interrupted jumping forward eagerly in his seat, hoping and praying that he had found something "did you find anything?"

"I have given the matter a considerable amount of thought and I'm afraid that I can not see any alternative but for you to take the mark. You see, he has made it quite clear what he expects of you and the consequences of disobedience. To interfere or refuse in any way to take the mark would be seen as a sign of disobedience or disloyalty, he might even realise that I have been assisting you. In short, refusing to take the mark would put you at great risk. He could even attempt to control you forcibly using the Imperius curse if you appear disloyal, as it would reflect badly if his own son refused him. It is far better for you to appear loyal and obedient"

"Oh" he slumped forward, feeling again despondent, he really did not want to end up under the imperius curse or worse "guess that's it, then I'm going to be a bloodthirsty murderer like my father" he said with disgust.

"Now Severus takes heart, I have not given up on you and you are most certainly not your father, you are a far better, braver and stronger man than he is"

"I actually have a different plan" he continued catching his attention as he composed himself before continuing in a calm detached voice "there is a war coming soon, I sense it a battle between good and evil and light and dark wizards. I have foreseen this and I have been making plans to ensure we are not caught unprepared. To this end, I have begun setting up a secret resistance group consisting of skilled wizards dedicated to fighting Voldemort and his followers. I am thinking of calling it the Order Of The Phoenix"

"I see, and you want me to join this order I suppose?"

"No, not quite, at least certainly not openly. You see the difficulty we have is that we do not know what the enemy is planning or how they operate and that means we are limited in how we can respond and utilise our resources efficiently. It's kind of like playing chess against an opponent where you can not always see the whole board to get the wider picture"

"You see, what I have wanted for a while is to find a way to get information back from behind enemy lines to have someone on the inside as it were" he explained his piercing eyes never leaving Severus's own. "someone who appears loyal to all intents and purposes, but of course, the trouble is where to find someone convincing enough to fool him but also trustworthy enough that we know that they won't simply go back to Voldemort and spill all our secrets quite the dilemma, wouldn't you agree?"

"And you thought I could do this for you?" Severus asked, cottoning on quickly where this was leading.

He inclined his head in agreement, his expression still severe "I will not lie to you Severus, what I am asking is not easy nor without risk, if he discovers a spy in his midst he will not be at all pleased, you will be punished severely possibly even killed, I do not ask this of you lightly, but given your rather unique situation."

He sighed, "It is not as though I have much choice, if I must take the mark then, either way, my life will be in danger whichever side I am fighting for. At least this way I will be doing something useful to stop him, at least if I die I will take this with me" he said determinedly pointing to the Horcrux in his forehead.

"Indeed, I appreciate your commitment although I rather hope it won't come to that. However, in order for this to work, you must be able to perform flawlessly and appear totally loyal. I will not risk you or the order by sending you in if I do not believe you are 100% ready physically and mentally"

He noticed him droop at the perceived rejection "come Severus there is no need to look so despondent, I am not saying you can't do it or that I won't support you I am merely making it clear that I will not send you in as a spy if I do not think you are totally ready it would be too dangerous. Now then tell me when is your birthday?"

"January 9th sir" he replied feeling his spirits lift slightly.

"I see, so that gives us roughly seven months to prepare you. I will contact you over the summer to arrange for us to meet without arousing suspicion so that I can prepare you. Now I want you to listen carefully. In the meantime, I want you to concentrate on learning Occlumency. I cannot empathise enough that it is of the utmost importance that you dedicate yourself to mastering Occlumency not just learning how to erect strong mental shields but also practising the other techniques to deflect an attack specifically by planting false memories and shielding the true ones that could expose your true loyalty. It is quite likely that he will use Legilimency on you and he will probably not be subtle so it is of the utmost importance that he does not know that you are using Occlumency to block him and believes he is seeing your true emotions and memories"

"To that end I want you to also concentrate on learning how to manage and control your emotions as you will be able to occlude much better if you are in control of your emotions. He will want to see your anger and your hatred but it is important that you are able to keep them in check. It may also be worth looking for some books on acting, as it will be of vital importance that you can act and put on a flawless mask of appearing to be loyal and eager whilst hiding your true emotions."

"You must ensure that you continue to act the same around your housemates and appear eager and committed to the cause around them and as though you are looking forward to being initiated so as not to arouse suspicion as they will be sure to pick up any change in your behaviour. To this end, I am afraid that you must cut off any ties with your friend Miss Evans and any other muggleborns at least in public, in fact the more you can appear cold and indifferent towards her the more it will help convince them that you are truly dedicated to becoming a Death Eater"

He noticed that this last direction appeared to hit him the hardest, clearly, he still had strong feelings for her although he was quick to mask them.

Truthfully Severus had always known this and had been trying to prepare himself to give up his best friend but to hear it told to him in such blunt terms still hit him like a ton of bricks "can I at least tell her the truth or at least part of it?" he said on seeing the headmaster's face he hurriedly continued "even if we can't be friends, I don't want her to hate me"

He sighed resignedly, rubbing his brow "I cannot forbid you from telling her, nor would I want to" Severus breathed a sigh of relief, "however I must caution you strongly to be careful, not just with what you tell her, but remember you must also ensure that you are not seen interacting with her. Also, you must make it clear that she cannot pass on that information to anyone, it is for your own safety, the more people who know the greater the risk of you being discovered and the more she knows the more dangerous it is for her"

He nodded his understanding "of course you are right, I would not want to put her at any risk."

"Good, I will send you a list of books, we may have some of them here in the Hogwarts library if not I will help you purchase them where I can if that is what you need?"

"Thank you, sir, that would be good" he admitted licking his lip at the last still unwilling to admit that his family were so poor that he needed all the financial help he could get although his understanding nod suggested that he understood. He looked up at him with steely determination in his eyes "I will work hard sir I promise"

"I know you will Severus, oh and Severus" he turned as he was about to leave, "I cannot emphasise enough how truly sorry I am that you have had such heavy burdens placed upon you and for my own treatment of you in the past, adding to that. I will continue my research and doing all I can to help you, I promise one day we will bring him down and you will be free"

He simply nodded his head in acknowledgement and left feeling at once both better and worse about his life and his future than he had that morning, maybe there wasn't a way out but at least there was a plan and if he could help bring Voldemort the one who had caused him so much suffering down from the inside then he resolved that he would do everything in his power to do so.

Author's Notes:

Hope you all enjoyed. I know these last few chapters and some of the ones to come are quite long and intense so i hope it all comes over well and that this helps clarify things.

I know that making Severus a spy earlier may didivde opinion or seem like an easy way out but I have my reasons. Firstly that was how I wrote it back then and after writing quite a few more chapters it would be a big headache to rewrite it. Are there other options Dumbledore could have taken to help him avoid joining? Maybe, but that was how I wrote and planned the story back then. More importantly, Severus is linked not only by blood but by the Horcrux in his scar to Voldemort, which as we saw with Harry means that Voldemort would potentially have easy access to his mind. Even though Severus will become skilled with Occlumency and better able to block him out than Harry Occlumency is still not exactly a guarantee against Voldemort when they have that kind of connection, so conventional means of hiding him even under a Fidelius or disguising his appearance so he could escape and start over wouldn't necessarily work.

Also, if Severus refuses to take the mark, Voldemort is not going to take it well that the one he's marked as his heir who he's expecting total obedience from has effectively snubbed and defied him, it won't look good and whatever kind of punishment he faces will be extremely nasty, most likely a long and painful torture or putting him under the Imperius possibly even death. It's not exactly as though Severus would be safe either given many of his housemates already support Voldemort and could potentially abduct him or make life very difficult for him.

Perhaps I'm being overly dramatic but to me, it seems like overall I think short of him fleeing the country for somewhere like America and totally starting over feigning loyalty and obedience is his best option and getting even with the one who has caused him so much pain and suffering while bringing back useful information has got to be good motivation for him.

Reviews:

Baixiaochung2910:

Thanks

dstone12:

Thanks. Yeah, Slughorn doesn't seem like he was the best head of house between his indulging in drink and parties and favouritism of certain students plus he doesn't have Dumbledore's reputation, seems like pretty much everyone knows that Dumbledore's a formidable and powerful wizard even if they don't know that he defeated Grindelwald.

I should perhaps clarify. Dumbledore knows who the letter's from or at least has a fairly good suspicion that Voldemort and Tom Riddle are one and the same. What I was meaning is that he wasn't previously aware that he was related to Tom/Voldemort when he said that he saw some of Tom in him I was meaning more that he was picking up similarities in their character that made him suspicious. They're both wary of adults, they come from less then ideal backgrounds and they're both powerful wizards with an interest in dark arts, also they both have trouble with making true friends in their own ways, although maybe not so much the last one since Tom appeared quite charming and charismatic.

I can imagine Severus looking up and meeting his gaze at the sorting like Harry did with Snape and him picking up a lot about Severus that unnerved him as he studied him and perhaps judged him as someone to keep an eye on.

Dumbledore I think knows more than he lets on but as you say he's keeping a bit quiet so as not to overwhelm him with information and as I said it's unclear how much he knows about Horcruxes at this point but he likely has his suspicions already but doesn't want to say anything to him until he's sure. Part of the reason why there's not much of reaction is based on my own writing style and also Severus is very much feeling overwhelmed, he's already full of self-loathing and expecting people to hate him based on who he is so Dumbledore is trying to reassure him