A/N: I know I said I'd upload every day and sometimes I miss it. I'm currently super sick, I think it might be covid, I've had it before and it feels like that :( I have a lot going on right now and I've just been feeling so crappy some days I haven't been able to post. So apologies for the days I miss.

—-

The next morning, Spike roused slowly from sleep. Flashes of the night before swarmed his mind in his sleepy state and a lazy smile spread across his face at the memories. It had been one of the best nights in his life, being reunited with Kat like that. He'd started to wonder if things would ever be okay with them again. He'd been a good boy, waiting it out until she initiated it, but he'd lost his cool. Something broke in him as he'd watched enraptured, seeing her feral side as she took on the zombies. It was a sight to behold indeed. He'd seen her fight before, trained her himself. He'd loved watching her help take out the vampire nest too. But the rage she'd channeled with that last zombie did something to him. He might be all souled up now but some things just don't change. He still had that rush for a fight. A little bit of bloodlust, only now it was aimed at the right people. And seeing Kat use her new strength and power, seeing her so raw and animalistic… Well, it had snapped his resolve altogether. Had him making the first move and practically begging for her consent. But he didn't regret it. It had been passionate and intense and he'd loved every second of it. It wasn't even the sex, although that had been amazing. It was the intimacy, the closeness, that he'd been denied of ever since he'd hurt her. He'd been walking on eggshells, not really knowing where he bloody stood this entire time, and he'd done it without comment because he knew he'd deserved it. But now it felt like they'd passed a hurdle and it made him feel like things could actually go back to the way it used to be.

His blue eyes fluttered open, bleary eyes settling on the clock and seeing it was noon. When he rolled over, about to wrap his arm around Kat and maybe see if she was up for some more fun, he was unpleasantly startled to find the bed empty. Oh god. Had she freaked out? Did she regret last night? It would be just like Kat to have a meltdown over it, overthinking being her speciality after all. And just when he thought they were making progress too. He wasn't even sure when she'd snuck off. They'd both worn themselves out the night before and he'd slipped off to sleep with ease. Had she left when she woke? Or did she wait for him to fall asleep and then leave? God, he was an idiot. Why didn't he just wait for her? He was entrenched in his morbid thoughts when the door opened and he sat up quickly, about to tell whoever it was to bugger off. But it was Kat. She was holding two mugs of what he smelt was pig's blood and she gave him a bright yet shy smile as she looked at him. A smile that made his insides feel like they were turning to outsides.

"I got breakfast," she smirked wryly, holding the cups up a little. Relief swept through his entire being in spades. So she hadn't run off then. She'd just nipped out to get them some food. He felt a little bad for doubting her, but her past track record was what he'd been going off and he was hardly to blame for that.

"Breakfast in bed? It my birthday?" he asked teasingly, watching as she perched on the bed next to him. She was wearing her pajama shorts and his old black t-shirt he'd given her once upon a time. He'd noticed she slept in it a lot. When he'd first got here, the first night she'd come to stay with him, he'd noticed it. Didn't comment on it, with him still being on thin ice and all. But it hadn't escaped him. The fact she still wore it, even after everything, made his heart swell.

"Well, I don't know when your birthday is, 'cause you refuse to tell me," she huffed, a playful glare thrown his way as she handed him his mug. If he was honest, he couldn't remember his birthday. He knew his year of birth, of course and he was sure it was around early March or maybe it was the beginning of February. He'd long left his birthday behind. No need for it when you're of the undead variety, wasn't like he celebrated it. And so much time had passed without caring about it, it had slipped through the cracks of his memory. In hindsight, it felt strange to forget something that defines a lot of people.

"Birthdays are for losers," he scoffed, earning a gentle thwack to the arm as Kat made an indignant noise. "And very pretty women," he added hastily, fluttering his lashes at her, lest his breakfast get thrown all over the bed and he'd have to suck it out of the sheets. She snorted, looking amused as she crossed her legs to sit more comfortably facing him. She looked radiant. Despite no real flush to her cheeks, she was glowing. Her hair was still mussed from their escapades the night before and her eyes were vibrant. Was nice, seeing her look so relaxed and carefree. He'd missed it.

He took a slurp of his blood, noticing how she toyed with her cup, glancing at him and then back at the cup. Right, the vamp face. She still wasn't comfortable about the whole thing, still struggling to settle into her new skin. He thought she looked beautiful regardless, but she wasn't having it. He supposed it was because it reminded her of what she was, something she was still slowly learning to accept. The fact she'd even come in here to eat with him was a feat in itself. Made his chest feel warm with the notion that she was getting more comfortable being herself around him. Made him feel special. He figured he could make it easier on the poor girl though by not looking at her. This was progress and he didn't need to make her feel more weird than she already did. So he busied himself with slow slurps of his drink and pointedly not looking at her. She probably knew what he was doing, but regardless, she seemed to chug the whole damn mug in one go, wanting it over with as quick as possible. He looked over just as she finished but her face hadn't changed, not right away. He got a peek at it before it morphed back into her normal one. She caught his gaze and he stilled, half expecting her to get weird and freak out about it like the last time she'd vamped out in front of him. She just blinked at him, like her brain that always seemed so hectic tried to figure out how to deal with it. So he gave her a soft smile, hoping to put her at ease. And it seemed to work a treat because she gave him a tentative smile back, tucking some of her air behind her ear shyly. He finished his mug off, placing it on the bedside table beside hers as he looked at her. She was the strongest person he'd ever met. He wanted to tell her but he knew exactly how that would go. She'd scoff at him, tell him she wasn't. Probably compare herself to the Slayer, although with her current feelings about her cousin, he wasn't sure how that would go. She could never take compliments, always sold herself short. But he could see it. She'd been through the wringer, been through more pain and death than was healthy for a girl her age. And now she was dealing with her own death on top of it, all the while having a soul. It wasn't bloody easy and she was struggling with it, but she was working through it. And while she would use all of her freakouts about her new life as proof she wasn't as strong as he thought she was, she was making progress and he knew she'd gloss over it. Or maybe she really couldn't see it. He admired her. Admired how she had a will of steel. How she would bend and bend but not break. His girl was nothing if not resilient and it amazed him. Amazed at how such an incredible woman ended up fated to the likes of him.

"Come here," he murmured softly, grabbing her hand and tugging her over to him. She came willingly, moving to straddle his lap. His hands settled on her hips, fingers kneading the flesh there as he looked up into her angelic face. Her hands smoothed up his bare chest as she blinked her big blue eyes at him.

"I love you, you know," he breathed, one of his hands moving to cup her cheek. She leaned into the touch as she smiled prettily.

"I love you too," she replied sweetly, her eyes shining with emotion. He wished there was another phrase he could tell her. 'I love you' seemed not enough. Didn't convey the true extent of his feelings, didn't feel grand enough. He pulled her face towards him, capturing her soft lips with his in a gentle kiss. He loved kissing her, and since neither of them needed to breathe, he could do it forever. One of her hands slid up his chest and neck, up to his cheek as she kissed him back and he felt like he could get drunk off her. The hand on her hip slid under her shirt and to her lower back, pressing her flush against him as his kiss grew more insistent. More needy. She kissed him back just as fervently and he could feel himself stirring, still naked, beneath the sheet.

Using the arm around her, he lifted her a little, using his foot to kick off the sheet for one less barrier between them. He didn't break the kiss, nor did she. She kissed him desperately in a way that made his head spin. She nipped at his lower lip and he groaned, a stab of arousal puncturing him hard. Without much thought, other than there was still too much between him and her, he grabbed her shorts and ripped them along with the panties she had on. The sound of fabric tearing filling the room. Her lips parted from his then as she looked at him incredulously.

"I liked those ones," she muttered, eyes narrowed. He could see she wasn't too fussed though, just enough to make it known. There was a hint of amusement dancing behind her eyes. He gave her a devilish smirk, pulling her back down so her velvety smooth center could rub on him. Her displeasure was replaced with soft parted lips as a little gasp escaped them.

"Cat got your tongue, pet?" he asked wickedly. She couldn't even find it in herself to quip back as he used his hold on her to rub her against him. She was soaked and it made her glide effortlessly over his throbbing erection. Her fingernails sunk into his shoulders as she mewled softly like the needy little kitten she was. It was sending little jolts of pleasure reverberating through his entire body as he moaned himself. My god, he wanted her. He felt like each time he wanted, no, needed her more and more and he wasn't sure just at what point it would stop. He wanted her closer. Wanted to feel her from the inside. Wanted to meld their bodies together so he couldn't tell where he ended and she began. His hands slid up from her hips to her waist under the shirt, loving how smooth her skin was. He could take the shirt off but there was something so tempting about taking her when she was wearing something of his. Something primal and satisfying. He lifted her before bringing her back down on his cock and he let out a loud moan at the same time as her delighted gasp. He didn't need to give her much encouragement before she was riding him. He was putty in her hands, lost to her whims of pleasure as he leaned against the headboard, reduced to nothing but a moaning, writhing mess. He loved watching her like this. She was a vision in the throes of pleasure. Her mouth parted as sinful moans came out and her eyes screwed shut. All wanton and free. As fun as it was, letting her use his body for her pleasure, he was done being passive. That was never his style. He sat up more, one hand gripping her arse and the other winding into her wavy locks. He gripped it, giving it a harsh tug back to expose her throat to him. The delicious moan she let out had him answering with his own and it sent a spark of glee through him getting that reaction out of her. He'd had her pegged from the start and told her as such. Knew just what she'd be like in bed. And he hadn't been wrong. Kitty liked to play a little rough. Liked a little pain with her pleasure, and god if that didn't make him ache for her.

He licked a long line up her throat, extracting another needy moan from her as she squirmed on him. Her reactions only served to fuel him as he nipped and sucked her neck, arching up roughly into her and moaning against her skin. After a particularly rough bite, she gasped, riding him faster, more intensely and he felt himself light on fire from the inside out.

"Harder," she pleaded, her voice raw sounding as she begged. He obliged, biting her harder as he rut up into her, growling and moaning without even realizing.

"Harder!" It was a demand that time, not a soft plea. He allowed his face to shift, if she wanted harder, she'd bloody well get it. He sunk his fangs into her delicate throat and he hadn't anticipated her reaction. He'd heard her moan, scream his name and gasp in delight before. But nothing quite prepared him for what he could only describe as a mix of all three. It almost made him go off like a damn school boy hearing her loud keening moan. He felt her thighs trembling with pleasure around him, felt her heat tightening around him. His hands were everywhere and anywhere, arching up at her like a mad man as he tried to take them both to nirvana. Her moans were bouncing off the walls and he knew he wasn't faring much better as euphoria started to overtake his senses. He was just about to start worrying he wouldn't last much longer when she came undone. Broken pleas and moans falling from her lips as she shook and quivered around him and pushed him to his own release. It was as close to heaven as he'd ever get, being with her this way. He'd never felt anything quite like it, feeling like his soul was ascending as rode out his high.

He withdrew his fangs, face changing to normal as he collapsed against the headboard, bringing her with him. She lay her head on his shoulder, humming softly. He loved her like this. Well, he loved her all of the time, but there was something special about when she was calm and sated that he just enjoyed. His hand stroked her back softly as she snuggled against him. They didn't need words. They often just enjoyed each other after some mind blowing sex, just soaking each other in. He was happy to just hold her like this. He'd been unsure he'd ever be able to after what he'd done. Unsure if she'd ever fully let him in again. But he felt her walls coming down, felt the invitation she was putting out to him. And he felt hopeful. Hopeful for them and their future. Hopeful for Kat and her precarious mental state with the new life she'd been given.

—-

Kat huffed, snapping the book shut from where she was sitting at the desk of the hotel. She was researching about poltergeists and hadn't got anywhere. Angel Investigations were working on a case involving one, or at least, what seemed to be one. Gunn had gone off on a side mission to take out a few vamps causing trouble and Spike had gone with him. The others were needed here for research but she'd seen how Spike had been itching to go with Gunn, the thrill of a good fight tickling him. He'd given her this look, much like a child wanting their parents permission to do something. And she'd snorted and told him to go. He rushed off with a quick 'love you' shouted after him and it had amused her. After being handed a book by Wesley, she was alone. Cordelia and Wes had gone off back to the haunted house in question. Angel was researching in his office. She hadn't seen him yet.

She grabbed the book and stood up, wincing at the ache. It was a good ache really though. One that told her she'd had a very good time. She couldn't help the stupid smile on her face as she walked over to Angel's office, knocking lightly and opening the door when he said she could come in.

"This one had a bunch of squat and a whole lot of diddly," she muttered wryly, holding the book up as she meandered over and plonked into the chair opposite him.

"Yeah, I'm right there with you," he huffed, closing his own book with a thud and a sigh. He looked at her then, a strange look on his face.

"So… you and Spike are doing better," he mused. She smiled, nodding as she tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, we are," she grinned. She felt lighter than she had in a while, knowing things were going back to normal. Or at least as normal as they could for her now.

"How did you know?" She asked curiously, tucking her legs to her chest in the chair.

"I heard it. Last night and this morning," he commented with an awkward smile. Embarrassment seeped into every pore in her body and she covered her face with her hands. She knew she'd be bright red if she were capable of it now.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," she rambled, peeking from behind her hands.

"Nah… it's fine," he smiled, waving his hand. "Well actually… it's not. I'm gonna spend the rest of eternity having to scrub it from my brain. But I'm glad you guys are doing better. It means you're doing better. Accepting things more," he said amicably. She gave him a smile, moving her hands from her face even if she was still embarrassed.

"Yeah… I think I am. I mean… It's hard and sometimes it hits me again. But I'm doing better," she admitted. She wasn't quite there completely yet but she was on her way. And she'd thought she'd never get there.

"It's a good job I called Spike then," he smirked at her, making her roll her eyes with a snort.

"Spike's helped, but you did too. This isn't all Spike. I wouldn't have been able to get to where I am now if you hadn't taken me in. I don't even know where I'd be right now if you didn't come when I called," she murmured softly. A little smile tugged his lips at her words.

"Well, I'm glad I could help. And you know if you ever need anything, I'll always try my best to help you," he replied quietly. She knew he meant it too. She felt lucky. Whilst she felt like she'd lost some people due to their betrayal, even if it ended up temporarily, she'd also gained people too. She'd become close with the group here and closer to Angel than she ever thought she'd be. They'd been nothing but accepting of her here and always tried their best to make her feel comfortable and welcome. Even Cordelia, who she'd never gotten along with before now. And she knew eventually she had to go home, for the very least for Dawn. But she'd found more people to add to her little group of people she trusted to have her back and it was nice. She wasn't sure just what would have happened to her if Angel hadn't gotten her that day. She'd been so angry from her betrayal that there was no way she'd have been able to stay in Sunnydale without losing her shit. She couldn't control her emotions and with her newfound raw strength, it was a dangerous cocktail. But going off on her own wouldn't have been a good idea. An over emotional new vampire who struggled with the mega hearing wouldn't be a good thing to run into, even with a soul. She could only conjure in her mind a whole host of scenarios where she'd snapped and done something terrible. But she hadn't, because Angel had brought her into the fold here. He helped her and then he brought Spike back to her and helped them mend things. And for that, she would always be grateful to him.