An: Courtney: I remember a time when we were hesitant to go above 5k words in a chapter. Now anything less than 10k is a 'small chapter' ? This chapter is not a small one

Joy: agreed! This one is a head turner! Buckle up for the next chapter because- ew *Gags* What is that awful smell? Smells like… desperation?

Chapter 17
The Path to Hell is Paved With Good Intentions

Rosalie

February, 25th , 2003

I rested my forehead against the cool glass of the car window as my mind whirled with suspicion and unease. Alice had called for a meeting at the Cullen's house but had been entirely too evasive when I'd asked what Bella thought of it. I had meant to ask our elder sister directly but for some reason Alice kept getting in the way.

I couldn't figure out why—was she hiding something? Had Bella told her something important that they wanted to share with everyone at once? But if so, why couldn't they tell me? What was so important we had to have an emergency meeting at the house of our enemy, and I couldn't be told beforehand?

I wanted to believe there was nothing wrong, but my gut told me that I wouldn't like whatever was going on. And that was what concerned me the most. My sisters and I rarely had conflict, and never anything serious. The most serious thing we had fought over was which electives we would take when we first moved here.

I mentally shook myself. It's probably nothing. Maybe Alice got impatient and proposed to Jasper. Or maybe she's planning to elope and Bella doesn't approve.

That would make sense—Bella had never been overly fond of elopement. Growing up at the time we had meant there was always a stigma surrounding elopement. Bella was of the opinion that it smacked of shame, and a reason for a hasty marriage.

"Where are you?"

I blinked over at Emmett sitting in the driver's seat, watching me with steady eyes—ignoring the road entirely in a way that made my heart skip a beat.

There's something about his full attention that makes me feel like the most important person in the world.

"Right here with you," I smirked. "Or can you not see me?"

"Oh I see you." The corner of his lips twitched. "I was just wondering where in your pretty little head you've run off to."

I winced. 'Don't worry your pretty little head about it' was something Vincent had always said to me every time I tried expressing any of my worries. To hear those words come out of Emmett's mouth left a rancid taste in my mouth that had me turning to stare out the window to avoid snapping at him.

When I'd called the hotline last week, the relationship counsellor had advised me to stop comparing Emmett with my other suitors. That everything has the potential to trigger a painful or traumatic memory, and while what I've learned from my past has helped me survive, I can't let that ruin my future.

She also suggested I share with Emmett what makes me uncomfortable and communicate openly with him. But I didn't think I could do that right now without losing my temper entirely, so I chose not to say anything at all.

I took a few deep breaths until my irritation subsided. There was no need to ruin this by taking my anger out on him.

Emmett was a fun distraction to all this new hell Victoria had brought on, and I wasn't quite ready to end it. I knew nothing would come of it—nothing worthwhile ever did. No matter my wish to the contrary. Besides, hadn't Bella let me know in her own way that she approved of Emmett as a distraction but nothing more?

She didn't interrogate him the way she had with my past suitors, nor did she glare at him to test if he would be frightened off by a sister's disapproval. She did nothing that she usually did when considering a man seriously for either me or Alice.

Knowing Emmett was expecting a response I answered truthfully. "I'm wondering what Alice wants to tell us all." I paused, then added in a partially joking tone. "I've just about convinced myself that Alice is in the family way and is planning to elope with Jasper before having his love child."

He snorted. "They would. And then they'd come back in a year hitched with triplets like it's nothing." He paused. "Or am I thinking of Bella and Eddie?"

The image was enough to pull me from my melancholy. "If you think Bella's not going to have the most outrageous and scandalous wedding of the century, you've seriously underestimated my sister."

"And what about you?" A smirk hung on his lips, but genuine curiosity lingered in his eyes.

I grinned. "Why, Bella and I have long since decided that our weddings would rival each other's, and then we would pester Alice to choose her favourite because she once told Bella that she could not plan her wedding and Bella took that personally." I snickered.

Emmett chuckled. "I'm sure any wedding you plan will be the wedding of the century. Bella's won't rival yours."

I smirked. "You are underestimating my sister's ability to be dramatic," I teased and was rewarded with a wider grin that showed off his dimples.

"On the contrary. I have learned to never underestimate any of her abilities. Especially her ability to make her sister happy. If you want to win the little rivalry you have, you will win. Or I imagine she'd release a pig at her own wedding and say she must forfeit."

I couldn't help but laugh. "And she would act so mad too! She'd probably blame whoever her soon-to-be-spouse is and make a whole kerfuffle out of it."

Emmett nodded. "And you'd sit there basking in your victory while pretending to console her. Then I'd have to whisk you away declaring you were too good to be left there amongst the pigs!"

And just like that, my mood plummeted. Despite what I was trying to remember from the counsellor, all I could think about in that moment was Vincent. When he'd proposed to me, he'd said I was 'too good to be left amongst these pigs' and he was going to whisk me away. He'd promised to take me and my sisters away to where we could be happy.

Vincent made a lot of promises. I pressed my face back against the glass, closing my eyes against the memory of how his face had curled in disgust as he broke every single one of those promises.

This is what's coming for you with Emmett, an insidious voice whispered. It was so familiar to Royce's sneering grin it made my throat close up. Broken promises and lies.

Do you really think you deserve to be happy? This one sounded like Vincent, so gentle and understanding, I almost missed the hatred in the words. Do you really think you can find someone who won't hate you for who you are?

I wanted to cover my ears. Stop it. Stop it! Emmett's not like that! He has never ever hurt me, and he never will! I have to trust him! You're just the voices in my head! I don't have to listen to you!

"How about a game?" Emmett asked suddenly, snapping me out of my spiralling thoughts. He had a soft smile in his eyes like he could see where my brain was dragging me and he was determined to pull me out.

"What?"

"A game!" He looked like such a puppy in that moment I wanted to smile. "Like twenty questions or something!"

I turned my body a little in the passenger's seat to face him, forcing myself to focus on him and not the thoughts swirling through my brain. "Sounds like you have some questions for me then."

"What's to say you don't have questions for me?" He shot back with a grin. "This is your perfect chance to learn everything about me and fall further in love with me."

Oh, so that's how it is. I tilted my chin back with a slow grin. "Alright then, monkey man. What's your first question?"

"Nuh uh." He had just one hand resting on the steering wheel as he gave me his full attention. "Ladies first."

I narrowed my eyes at him as I thought of a question before I settled on one. I had wanted to go flirty and test him, but there was an ache in my heart that had me asking, "If I said I wanted to run away, where would you take me?"

It clearly hadn't been a question he'd been expecting—I certainly hadn't expected it, but even as his grin faded he rolled with it. "Wherever you wanted to go, angel. I'd take you to the moon if you asked."

I snorted. "Smooth, and vague."

"Keeping it real, gorgeous." His lips twitched. He narrowed his eyes in thought a little. "But if you wanted to escape a little, I know exactly the first place I'd take you."

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow.

He pointed out my passenger window towards the mountain ranges. "An hour's run that way there's a little watering hole. It almost never rains there—a damn miracle in this town—and it's always beautiful and quiet. I go there when I'm getting sick of my family or Jas and Eddie's moodiness is driving me mad." The shy smile he gave me made my heart stutter. "I think you'd love it there."

"Let's go now."

His grin was blinding. "I'll happily blow off this meeting to show you."

I pouted, remembering our plans for today. "No." I sighed. "We need to see what Alice wants."

His pout matched mine before his mind caught his next question. "What's your favourite memory?"

"Ever?"

He shrugged and I had to think about it for a moment, but I smiled when it hit me. "We were making cookies. It was in this life—we couldn't have been more than five or six—and Bella had somehow managed to tip the entire mixture onto Alice." I giggled at the memory of an outraged Alice running after Bella with sticky hands, determined to get pay back. "Renee had been so mad, and she'd made us clean the whole kitchen top to bottom, but it was so worth it."

"Renee?"

"Hmm?" I blinked out of the memory to see him watching me with a small, entirely fond smile. "Oh, that's the woman who gave birth to us in this life."

"Ah yes. Known to other people as 'mother'." Emmett overtook a slow driver without taking his eyes off me.

I snorted. "No one in any realm would call Renee a mother. The woman doesn't have a nurturing bone in her body. Not unless you consider neglecting your children and putting your reputation above their lives nurturing."

His hands tightened on the steering wheel. "What did she do to you?"

"Besides being a bitch?" I clenched my jaw. "Not a damn thing. Bella wouldn't let her."

It wasn't really a lie, even if it tasted like one. It had been years since she'd tried anything against us, but I could still remember those early years. Those kinds of scars didn't fade.

But I wasn't ready to tell Emmett about those. Not now. Not when I wasn't sure if he'd kill Renee or congratulate her. Logically, realistically I knew he wouldn't—that wasn't who Emmett was—but one tele-therapy session with a relationship counsellor wasn't going to erase years of thinking patterns. And as much as I wanted to, I still didn't know if I could trust Emmett. I wondered if I ever would.

"What do you mean she wouldn't let her? You were children—what could Bella have done?" he asked.

"We might have been kids at the time, but Bella has always been the type to choose violence." I shrugged. "Renee learnt that the hard way."

"So if Renee was your mother in name only, who raised you then?" His brow was furrowed like he was trying to work something out. "I know it wasn't Charlie—I'd have noticed if you were in Forks before this year."

I rolled my eyes at his slight smirk and shrugged. "Bella did of course."

Who else did he think would step up?

He started to say something, but I held up a finger with a slight smile. "Uh-uh. My turn now. What's your favourite colour?"

"You're my favourite colour."

It was so cheesy and automatic I burst out laughing. Emmett's whole face lit up like he'd won a prize. This was one of my favourite things about him. He could make me laugh like it was the easiest thing in the world.

How could I possibly think Emmett is like the others? Royce never cared enough to make me laugh or feel anything, and even in the softest times with Vincent we were never like this. Neither of them ever looked at me like Emmett does. They never tripped over themselves and lost their words just looking at me.

No one else has ever made me feel so adored like he does.

With Royce it had been like winning the top prize at a fair only to find it rotten all the way through. With Vincent it was soft and cute like holding a fluffy teddy bear. But with Emmett it was like someone had released a box of butterflies in my stomach, and I couldn't get enough.

Because here he was, a man likely missing a few marbles in the brain department, saying a line so cheesy had it been anyone else I would have gagged.

But because it was him, because of whatever it was about him that made this so easy, it sounded like the most romantic thing I'd heard in years. And it almost made me wish I could believe this wasn't going to end with me getting hurt. Again.

I sighed internally, but flashed him a teasing smile. "That was terrible. Truly the worst—what are you—seven?"

He waggled his eyebrows with a grin. "You loved it."

That's why it hurts. Because I really do. I smacked his shoulder lightly, hiding my wince when it felt like slapping stone. Sweet Circe—vampires! "Answer my question."

He grabbed my hand and pressed a kiss to the smarting fingers. "Seventeen," he grinned and I rolled my eyes.

"How many times have you been 'seventeen'?" I teased, delighting in how he hadn't let go of my hand.

He pointed at me with his spare hand—somehow still driving evenly inside the lanes. "Uh-uh. You've already asked two questions. My turn." He grinned and flipped the question back on me. "How many times have you been seventeen?"

And just like that the mood was gone. My smile dropped and I pulled my hand away from his as I turned to the road, desperate to keep the fast rising emotions down. "Never," I eventually ground out. "I died when I was fourteen the first time around."

"Shit," he murmured. "You were the youngest."

I raised a slow eyebrow at him, letting anger smother the crackling fear and panic rising once again. Anger was good, familiar. "Because burning to death is more tolerable when you're older?"

"I'm sorry." And he genuinely looked it that I had to turn away. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

As much as I'm sure you believe it, you will. Everyone always does. It's just a matter of time.

"Stop the car." I ground my teeth to halt the rise of emotion slowly strangling me. If I didn't get out now, I was going to fall apart in front of him, and that was something I'd promised myself to never do—in front of anyone. "Stop this car right now, or I'll stop it myself."

"Rose—"

"Now!" I snarled, eyes violet, my magic close to the surface.

He did as I asked and I was out before the tires stopped rolling. I slammed the door behind me and stalked away, no destination in my mind but away. I couldn't breathe. My heart was in my throat and there was a fresh pounding behind my eyes. I could feel the tears rising and the panic settling in.

Stop it, Rosalie! Stop being ridiculous! You are not going to cry! Do you really want to embarrass yourself like that?

I focused on the magic beneath my skin, on the road beneath my feet turning into soil as I entered the forest—and it worked. I took a deep shuddering breath as the urge to burst settled and I calmed. Until I heard his footsteps.

"Leave me alone, Emmett!" I yelled, picking up my pace. "Stop following me!"

His footsteps stopped and I didn't know what I felt. A large part of me was relieved that he'd listened, that I could walk away and he wouldn't see this side of me. Another part felt vindicated, because it meant I was right. Of course he'd leave. Of course he'd give up. When it got too tough, too icky, they always left.

But there was a tiny part of me that wanted him to ignore me. To care enough to want to follow me, to comfort me. To show he was different.

I shook my head hard. Don't be ridiculous. He's just like the others—and he's just proven it.

But then he called out, "Is that what you really want? For me to leave?"

"That's what I said isn't it?" I snapped, spinning around.

"But is that what you want?" he asked softly. He was standing a few metres away, hands in his pockets and eyes sad. He honestly looked like a kicked puppy, and I couldn't breathe again.

I turned around without a word and sped off, almost running to get away from all of it. Eventually his footsteps faded behind me and the sounds of the forest swallowed me. I continued until the pain on the outside hurt more than the pain on the inside. I collapsed onto a fallen branch, head in my hands and let out the scream that had been building for years.

I'd been perfect for years. Done everything right and everything. But now it felt like everything was crashing down around me.

Whether it was the exhaustion of keeping it all in, or the build up over the years, I couldn't say, but I took in a deep shuddering breath and said, "I don't know what I'm doing. I'm afraid I'll be hurt again."

I couldn't hear him, but I knew he could hear me—somehow, somewhere. And suddenly there he was, crouching in front of me. "I will never let anything hurt you."

I felt like ice coursed through my veins. He shouldn't say that! Not to me! Not when he—or what he was offering—was exactly what I was afraid of!

I couldn't stand another moment of it. "Stop," I whispered. "You need to stop."

"Rose?"

"I can't." I bent over, my head between my knees like that would make breathing easier. "I can't keep doing this! I can't." I could hear the crack in my voice.

My head was pounding; it was so heavy I just wanted to lay it down and close my eyes, but I couldn't focus on anything but my spiralling thoughts.

"What can't you keep doing?" Emmett asked, his hand coming to rest gently on the side of my leg, but I jolted away. If he touched me I was going to drown; I was going to suffocate and never come back up.

"This!" I flapped my hand between us, and then through the air. "Everything!" I stood up, suddenly, stepping over the branch, desperate to get distance between us. "I am falling apart, and I can't show a damn thing because it'll just make everything worse." I pressed my hands to my eyes and bent in half like I was going to be sick. "I can't keep doing this!"

"I'm here," he said, uselessly—like that useless lie was going to solve a damn thing.

"But you're not!" I yelled. I spun around, hands in my hair. "You're not! None of you ever are! You're all the same! You all act like you'll be here for me— 'through thick and thin, Catherine'," I mocked. "But then you're gone the moment it gets too difficult!

"You all want the same thing, and when you're done using me, you leave me like it was nothing!" I wasn't just talking to Emmett anymore, I was talking to all of them, all the bastards I let walk over me. "But I'm not doing that again! I'm done pretending this doesn't kill me every time one of you walks away! Because it does! Every time I let someone in they make me regret every single fucking minute of it!

"But I deserve better!" I could barely see him through the tears in my eyes. "I deserve better than to be just some game!

"I deserve better than that. I deserve to be more than just someone left behind." My tears were spilling down my cheeks and I crouched, barely keeping it together. "I can't do this anymore," I whispered. "I feel like I'm going to break."

"You do," Emmett whispered, suddenly crouching before me. "You deserve someone who's gonna stay through it all." He ducked his head to catch my eye, the slightest of smiles turning his lips up at the corners. "And I'm not going anywhere—not unless you get rid of me yourself."

"Why?" I whispered. "Why should I believe you?" Bella and Alice are the only ones who have ever shown me that I can rely on—they're the only ones who have never let me down! The only ones who have never left me!

"Can't you tell?" He gave me a small smile. "I'm in love with you, and I couldn't stop loving you if I tried."

"That doesn't make sense." I shook my head, even as my heart started to tremble at the possibility. "I don't believe you. You can't. Not really."

"Really really, angel."

"No!" I lurched away. "You can't. I'd know! Bella would know and—and she hasn't approved of you yet!" I knew I was rambling now, but I couldn't help it. The part of me that ached for this to be real, that believed this could be, it was desperate for this to be true. But I couldn't take that chance. My heart couldn't stand the loss—not again.

"Her approval?" His soft smile was gone, replaced by complete bewilderment. "You want me to get her approval? To like you? Isn't that a little…outdated?"

"It's not the same!" Why can't he understand? "It's not like getting her permission!" Frustration was taking over—what was so hard to understand? Bella was my sister—all sisters are like this! "Bella is always right! Always! And if she doesn't like you, then you're not good enough!"

"And is that what you think?" Emmett stood up. "Because you're allowed to have opinions outside your sisters!"

That was it. "You think I don't?" I stalked away, frustration and magic crackling furiously under my skin. "I never stop having them! But I can't voice a damn single one, because that makes me ungrateful for everything my sisters have done for me!"

"They don't let you have your own opinions?" Emmett cut in. "That's messed up."

How dare he!

"Where the hell did you get that idea?" I snarled, whirling around and stalking back towards him. "My sisters have given me everything! I'm the one who always had to be protected, to be coddled, because I was the burden! I'm the one who Father walked out on the moment I was born! I'm the one who can barely remember our mother! I'm the one who always needed protection from horrible men! My sisters have spent every moment of our lives worrying about me, protecting me, from everything!"

The trees quivered around us, the air trembling as my magic crackled in response to my fracturing emotional state. "So I had to make sure their efforts weren't in vain! They put in all that effort to love and protect me, I couldn't have them worrying about me even more than they do! So I became perfect! I had to be because otherwise they'd drop everything to make me feel better. And I couldn't deal with that every day!"

"You're allowed to feel these things!" Emmett cried, getting worked up himself. "The way you depend on each other isn't right, Rose—it's not healthy! You shouldn't—"

I cut him off. "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about! You don't get to judge! You have no idea! No. Fucking. Idea what we had to go through! What Bella had to do just for us to survive! She bloody well became our mother, father, teacher, protector overnight! She comforted us when we mourned Mother, guided us when we first began to become women, defended us when we needed it, and so much more!

"She'd do anything for us! And she has never been wrong about any of the men in my life. Not. One! So yes you have to fucking gain her approval! Yes, I have to do my best to prevent myself from being in situations where she needs to save me! Yes, I have to keep my emotions in check. And you don't get to fucking tell me it's wrong just because you don't understand that this is how sisters work!"

"Then talk to someone about it!" He threw his hands in the air. "Anyone! You don't have to keep it all bottled up! "

"Oh, right. Well now you've said that I feel instantly better," I snapped back. "Because it's just that easy!"

"It is!" He threw his hands in the air. "No one is putting this on you! You can let go of all of it and your sisters won't give a damn!"

"I don't have the time!" I exploded. "Do you have any idea of what it's like to wake up in the body of a three year old, suddenly having strange memories you can't explain, being unable to comprehend exactly what you're remembering but still having night terrors because as soon as you close your eyes the only thing you can hear is screaming, the only thing you can see is fire, and the only thing you can feel is sheer terror?!

"Do you understand what it's like to then wake up on your seventh birthday with all of your memories intact? Suddenly realising all those strange memories were real? Having your sisters experience the same thing and watching them struggle to mask it all so that they can comfort you? To feel completely useless because you desperately want to be strong for them for once in your damned life and being too damn weak to do so?!

"Are you intimately aware of the fear and the desperation of knowing how to do complex magic but barely being able to do kid's stuff? Of never knowing if or when you'll get your full magic back? I spent another six years constantly worrying that something would go wrong or we'd get hurt, and there was nothing I could do because I didn't have my magic!

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be at your most vulnerable and watch the people you care about risk their own lifes to cater to yours? All the while pretending to be the empty-headed daughter of an empty-headed woman because if you show any more you'll be thrown in the fucking loony bin?

"I haven't had a single damn minute to myself since the fucking 1600s—where the hell in that time could I have 'let it out'? Huh?"

I knew I was lashing out at someone who hadn't earned it, but anger was familiar. It was acceptable. It was the first emotion I had ever learned to process. And so I leaned into that familiarity and tore into the only person in range—Emmett.

"My sisters have spent every fucking minute of this life planning and trying to avoid dying again—Alice never sleeps and Bella never does anything for herself. What kind of selfish person would I be to then lay my shit on top of them too?

"So I pretend! I pretend that everything's okay! Because it has to be! I pretend like our father walking out seconds after I was born was okay. I pretended that the very first person I thought could love me, who slapped me for not marrying him—I pretended that that was okay. I pretend that my fiance spitting on me as we were dragged to our deaths was okay." I thrust my hands through my hair, overcome by everything that wasn't okay.

"I pretend like I'm not absolutely fucking terrified of dying again! Like I'm not terrified my sister will be disappointed in me if I ever fail her!" I darted my hand across my cheek before the tears could fall.

I pretend like I don't hate it that Bella thinks Jasper's good for Alice, but she doesn't think you're not good enough for me.

"I pretend everything's okay, because it has to be." I took in a deep shuddering breath, turning away. "I have to be okay with all of it because otherwise my sisters make themselves sick with worry, and I can't bear to watch. So I stopped showing them how much it hurt. Even when it did. Because it always does. Every single time."

A tear ran down my cheek, and I was breathing heavily, but somehow my voice was quiet, drained, as I said, "I always tell myself I'll only accept the best, but it's about damn time I actually start. So I'm done. I'm done being hurt. I'm done being tossed aside, and I'm done wasting my time on people who don't give a damn."

I drew myself up tall, folding my emotions away tightly, habitually, and steeled myself. No matter how real I wanted it to be, no matter how real he said he was, I was only fooling myself. I needed to end this now, before he walked away like all the others. Even if he was the realest person I'd met in years, even if he was the first to make me genuinely laugh, even if it hurt, it was the price I had to pay.

I looked at him with hard eyes and a harder spine. "We're done. I'm done with this—whatever this is—and I'm done with you."

With that, I walked back to the road, letting my magic guide me to the car. I didn't wait for his reaction; I didn't wait for him. I was done waiting to be walked over.

One last car ride, and I'm done with all of this. I shoved my hands in my pockets and then sighed internally when I realised who I'd need to get a lift with to get back home after this damn meeting was over. It's just one car trip. I can deal with their lovey dovey-ness for one trip.

But before I could get more than two steps, Emmett appeared in front of me with a scowl. "No." His jaw clenched. I told you I'm willing to wait as long as it takes for you and that I'll do whatever you want, even walk away, if that's what you want—and I will. But right now I don't think you want this. I think you're pushing me away to protect yourself. You want me here as much as I want to be here. You're just scared of letting someone in again."

Excuse me? I narrowed my eyes at him. "Get. Out. Of. My. Way."

He didn't move. "You promised me you'd give us a try."

I scoffed. "I don't need to. I've been here before. You 'love me' and you'll 'always be there for me'—" I stepped close so our noses were almost brushing, "—and then you'll be gone the moment you realise I'm not some pretty doll you can mould."

I stepped around him with a disgusted shake of my head. "You all scare so easily."

He stepped in front of me again, and I contemplated blasting him through a tree just to get him out of my way.

"Then scare me away," he said seriously, staring at me with steady eyes. "Do your worst, and I'll prove to you I'm nothing like the bastards before me."

Scare you away? You have no idea what you're asking. I straightened. Fine. If this ends this charade, then I will terrify you so much your dead heart restarts..

I waved my hand, watching with narrowed eyes as he gasped, unfocused and unseeing eyes darting around.

"What did you…?"

I waved my hand in the opposite direction and he dropped to his knees with a strangled groan.

"How are you…? Rose?" He looked around like he was trying to find me. His eyes were blown wide with terror and his chest heaved like he couldn't breathe deeply enough.

"Is this not what you expected?" I murmured and he spun to the left like he could find me there. I stopped in front of him. "Or did you expect me to put on some pretty light show like some air-headed barbie incapable of real terror?"

"Where are you?" He sounded breathless.

In any other scenario I would have smiled. This was a spell Bella had perfected in our first life. First it blinded your enemy, then it disoriented them, made them think they were suspended in a dark abyss of nothing. And when you spoke, your enemy would have no idea where you were. Even if they had just seen you, your voice would seem like it was coming from everywhere and nowhere at once.

Truly it was a delightful spell, but I felt dirty using it on Emmett. Still…if it served its purpose, better to get hurt now than in the future.

"I am not some trophy you can cart around and show off to all your friends." Royce's leer came to mind and I wanted to rip something apart. "I am not some uncut rock that needs to be polished into a diamond! I am not going to change who I am because you can't handle me!"

Emmett's not like Royce, a small voice whispered. He likes your rough edges.

I stepped to the side, trailing my finger along his shoulder and watching with narrowed eyes as he flinched at my touch.

"But you're not like Royce who died pissing himself in the woods when he met my sister. No." I ran my finger along the edge of his shirt, grazing the skin of his neck and watching him shiver. "Maybe you're worse."

I crouched by his left side and whispered in his ear. "Maybe you're like Vincent." His head snapped upwards, his sightless eyes darting around, searching for me. "You'll say you're in love with me, maybe even willing to accept a few of my 'oddities', but the moment you see the truth of me, you'll run for the hills."

"I won't," he panted, falling to the ground. "I won't. I love every piece of you. I won't ever leave."

Liar!

My lip curled. "I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being abandoned by everyone I thought might care! Father, Mother, Vincent! Mother Aquila! Renee!" I shook my head. "Why? Why did they leave? Was I not good enough? Not pretty enough?"

I stood up, my own chest heaving as I glared down at him.

He shook his head, fresh mud clinging to his skin. "It's them. They're the ones who fucked up. Not you, angel. Never you."

"THEN WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP LEAVING?" I screamed, tears burning my eyes.

He rolled over, somehow finding me in his blind disorientation. "Because they're fuckheads, angel. You're enough. You're a thousand times enough."

I whimpered, dropping down beside him and letting go of the spell binding him. "I don't know how to believe you," I whispered.

He rested his trembling forehead against mine, relief flowing from him now that he could see me again. "Let me show you."

I didn't know if it was his promise or the glimpse of adoration I found in his eyes that prompted my next thought, but I had to know. I had to be sure.

As a child in this life, I'd had more freedom than our previous life, and more of a chance to expand my magic. As such, I found I had a particular affinity for the drawing and creation of runes —like my great grandmother before me—There were a few runes I had been working on out of boredom back in Phoenix, and they came back to me now as I stared at him.

I reached my hand down and pulled up a few blades of gras. Crushing them in my hand until they stained my fingers green and drew a few on the back of my hand. Showing them to him.

"There are runes," I started slowly, eyeing him carefully—watchful for any indications that he was about to walk away. "Runes to show the emotions someone feels. Like what Jasper does, but more…individual. More personal." My shoulders drooped as I picked the perfect ones to make any male ego run screaming. "When placed on the body, they emit a glow; different colours reflect different emotions. Blue for devotion, purple for reverence. And red for love."

I waited for him to cave, to leave, but he just tilted his chin up and said, "Bring it, angel. Sounds fun. Turn me into a disco ball."

I narrowed my eyes. "Take off your shirt." When he raised his eyebrow and the corners of his lips curled, I rolled my eyes. "Unless you want to walk around with these runes on your cheeks, take off your shirt."

He pulled off his shirt and I took the moment to appreciate the view before I told him to spin around. I wiped my hands before I scooped up some dirt and started with the reverence rune along his spine. The dirt would brush off the moment the ritual was over, but the magic would sink deeper.

I finished the spiralling tendrils that reached between his shoulders and he shivered as my magic settled in him. I pushed him around and started on the devotion rune at his throat, beneath his jawline. The idea was for it to go over a mortal's pulsepoint, but vampires didn't have a pulse, so I was improvising. The final rune was for love, and I scratched that over his heart.

I stepped back, raising an eyebrow at him, giving him a final out before I murmured, "Telos."

I clutched the remaining dirt and waited for the telltale flash of yellow, but nothing happened, and my heart pittered resentfully.

Emmett held his arms out curiously. "Huh. I thought I'd become a lighthouse. Does it take a while?"

I tossed the dirt aside with a scoff of disgust. I had been prepared for the sickly yellow flash—the colour of deceit—but nothing? He was indifferent?! I brushed past him with a barely contained growl. I had been furious before, but now I was pissed. No man should ever be indifferent to me.

I only got a few steps away before he called out, "I thought you were going to scare me away."

I turned slowly, lip curling at the challenge in his smirk, and I decided to show him a few emotions of my own. My hands still had some dirt on them—not a lot but enough. I quickly traced the appropriate ones on my palms.

"Syntriptic," I hissed, stepping closer, eyes glowing violet as my runes wrapped around his body—the same runes I had used that first night—tightening with every second. I dug the car keys out of his pocket and snarled, "The runes will wear out in an hour. Have fun."

I stalked back towards the car, but I spun around when I heard a tearing of granite. Emmett was pushing against the bounds of the runes, trying to rip himself to get out of the circle but only managing to crack his skin apart.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I yelled, bewildered and pissed to all hell, dismissing the spell with a wave of my hand.

He stumbled a little, catching himself as his cracks began to heal. Showing that they were only shallow. He rolled his neck and grinned manically. "If that's your idea of scaring me off, angel, then you're gonna need to do a lot more than that. Something like that thing before. The runes just now were fun, but I've seen them before. That thing where I couldn't see shit and your voice was all creepy and shit—that was hot as fuck. Terrifying, but hot. Do something like that again."

I growled, "Fine. You want scary?" I felt my magic settle over me like a cloak as I reached for every inch of it. "Fuck off."

I threw a ball of raw magic at him, catching him right in the centre, and he blasted through the trees, toppling each one he went through. He dropped to the ground with a terrific crash. I stalked forward, determined to end this once for all, but he stood up with a chuckle, and I stumbled at what I saw.

He brushed the bark off his skin and grinned. "Now that was fun."

His thickheadedness wasn't what caught me though. It was the flash of purple with red undertones as he grinned that startled me. I shook my head. Not possible. He was indifferent before—he can't be… It can't just turn off and on!

I threw another ball at him, this time adding runic magic to fuel its power. "Fyge!"

He blasted through another set of trees, somehow missing each tree as the forest parted around us. I stalked behind him, mentally noting that I'd definitely have to come back and apologise for my damage when I was done here.

I stepped through the treeline onto the deserted road—did I really throw him that far?—and blinked at the flashing display. Emmett picked himself off the road with a grin, deep purple and brilliant red sparkling around him like a cheesy Valentine's Day disco ball.

My eyes widened at his display, and my heart trembled at the implication. My magic was never wrong. I snorted at what it meant. Of course Emmett just had to be so hard-headed that he messed with my runes. He hadn't been indifferent before, he just hadn't been thinking about it.

"Pano," I murmured, flicking my fingers up and Emmett flew up with the moment. Frankly the magic wasn't necessary anymore, but I wanted to see that flash again. I flicked my fingers down again. "Kato."

He dropped like a stone, violet flashing around him as he laughed, and my anger melted away.

"You're an absolute idiot," I said almost fondly. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"So much, angel. Why don't you come a little closer and find out."

I couldn't help but match his smirk as I walked towards him, heels clicking in the road. He tensed a little like he was waiting for another spell, but his delight never dissipated as I crossed towards him and kissed him on the cheek. "Come on then. We're late."

Emmett grinned, eyes lighting up as the runes flickered brightly. Red flickered brightly around him, swirling with motes of violet, and I bit my lip to hide my grin. I could get used to this.

"So does this mean you're giving me a second chance?" He brushed a lock of my hair out of my face with a smile.

"No." His face fell a little and I couldn't help but giggle. "This is your first chance. A real one this time."

His smile turned reverential. "Guess I'm pulling out all the stops now."

I grinned before frowning and biting my lip. Now that I knew he was here to stay I needed him to know what he was in for. It wasn't fair for me to blindside him again. And I knew, growing up as he did, he might not understand what to expect. "Em, I need you to know that this probably isn't the last time I'll blow up. This isn't a fairytale or some great romance novel where a kiss takes all of life's problems away.

"Things like this don't just go away after a day, or even a year sometimes. I can't promise to never jump to conclusions or get the wrong idea." I took a deep breath. I needed to say this. It wasn't until I'd seen his light display that I realised how desperately I needed him. How desperately I wanted this to work. "But, what I can promise is that no matter what I say in anger or sadness, I will always need you. I will always want you. I am broken and imperfect so I'll probably shatter a thousand times over before I'm fixed.

"Just, please—don't give up on me, yeah? Be strong enough to get through any hurricane I might conjure, for us?" I begged softly.

His eyes softened even more as he cupped my face. "For you, angel, I'd weather any storm," he murmured. Hearing those words sent my heart soaring. And for the first time in three hundred years, I let my heart be touched.

I grabbed his hand and we started walking back down the road, towards the Jeep, when a nearby vine reached out gently. I held out my hand to it and glanced around at the destruction I'd caused to the forest.

"Sorry." I stroked the vine, wincing at the damage.

Alice will murder me if I don't fix this. I walked over to the forest's edge and crouched down. I took a deep breath and sent a sharp surge of power into the earth, concentrating on my intent: heal, heal, heal. "Genees."

I pushed more magic into the ground until I connected with the responding waves of the earth's natural energy. I closed my eyes at the touch as the energy began to flow around me, content and at peace once again. I smiled, satisfied as the forest absorbed the broken trees, and seven young saplings grew in their place. Alice might have been able to mature the trees more, but I was satisfied with my handy work.

I stood up with a nod and Emmett, still holding my hand, tugged me gently towards the car.

"You know I'm driving right?" I said eventually, when the car came into sight.

"I heard you're a maniac behind the wheel." He looked delighted at the idea.

"Oh, Alice loves to exaggerate." I waved a hand in the air as I started the engine. I put my foot down on the pedal, and the tyres squealed as we peeled out. I didn't bother checking for oncoming traffic. It was a quiet road and mortals were idiots.

Emmett cackled as the speedometer rose well over the speed limit and we careened down the road. "Alice was not exaggerating! Go faster!"

Emmett was still cackling as we pulled into the Cullen's driveway a few minutes later. "Why have I been the one driving us to school? You're so much more fun!"

I smirked, vindication swirling through me. "Alice says I'm a terrible driver."

"Oh, you are," he grinned as we got out of the car. "You absolutely are. That's just what makes it more fun!"

I couldn't help but laugh. The oddity of our situation wasn't lost on me. Less than fifteen minutes ago I had been tossing him about a forest and screaming at him, and now he was wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Nor was it lost on me that I absolutely loved it. Emmett had barely stopped glowing red since the forest, and I couldn't stop staring at it; at him.

"What?" He pulled me closer, eyes darting over my face when he realised I was staring at him.

I smiled, wonder coursing through me. "You're glowing."

I reached up to trace the devotion rune at his throat. He'd put his shirt back on in the drive over—much to my disappointment—so I couldn't see the other two, but I could feel the pulse of steady crimson through my magic. It pulsed like a phantom heartbeat, and it made my heart skip a beat each time. He really was in love with me. Me—not some image in his head—the real me.

He grabbed my hand and pressed a kiss to my fingers. "I haven't stopped."

I had no idea how I could ever get used to this, but for the first time since the 17th century, I was looking forward to it.

After another moment, we headed in, Emmett not once removing himself from my side, and I was wholly grateful for it. I still wasn't used to entering this house, but with him by my side, I felt like I could do anything. Esme and Carlisle were already in the kitchen, talking quietly to each other.

When we walked in, Esme smiled at us and nodded to the living room. "Edward should be back from hunting shortly, and the others haven't arrived yet."

"I'll meet you in there." Emmett grinned, bringing my hand up to his lips. "I have a present for you."

My skin tingled at his touch and I wanted to pull him in for a searing kiss, but he was already darting out of my reach with an infectious laugh.

"Hurry your ass back," I called out to the empty room, biting my lip to keep my grin under control.

Carlisle and Esme had disappeared too, so apparently I was alone once again. Not that it bothered me—I loved the chance to snoop.

It wasn't until I was snooping through Emmett's room that I found something interesting. Or rather, heard something interesting. If I pressed my ears against the wall, I could hear a faint murmuring of voices.

I pouted—that wouldn't do. How was I supposed to have fun snooping if everyone was being quiet?

I glanced around Emmett's room and grinned at the potted plant by the window.

Perfect.

Digging out a bit of dirt, I drew the rune for enhanced senses on the inside of my wrist and everything came alive. It wasn't often my sisters and I needed stronger senses than we already had, but there was something electric about hearing a butterfly's wing, about seeing rainbows in every mote of dust.

"Patience, my heart." Esme's hushed voice broke through my wonder. I turned back to the wall I could now clearly hear them through. "They're still hurting, You need to give them time."

"I cause them pain every time they have to look at me," Carlisle murmured, pain clear in his voice and I frowned.

Is he talking about us?

Familiar hands settled on my waist and I closed my eyes as Emmett pressed his face into my hair. I tipped my head back to see purple light pulsing around him like a heartbeat. I cupped the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Eavesdropping?" he murmured against my lips.

"Not for long," I murmured back, patting his chest and stepping out of his room.

"I want them to know I will never hurt them again, and I plan to spend the rest of my existence making up for what I did to them. But I don't know how to do that without hurting them more than I already have." Defeat echoed in Carlisle's voice. "I have ruined their lives enough as it is."

Esme's response was lost to me as I opened the door to their room and they spun around. Apparently they'd been so lost in their conversation they hadn't heard me moving down the hall.

"You can't just tell us you aren't going to hurt us." I crossed my arms. "You have to prove it."

"How?" His response was so quick I almost missed it. Though the desperation in it was harder to miss.

I narrowed my eyes at him, contemplating my next words. "Bella will never believe you if all you do is say it. Lies are easy to hide in words—they're a lot harder in actions. Prove that you want to keep us safe and make up for what you did. Don't just say it."

I tilted my head. "Alice will be harder. She can and will hold a grudge until the stars burn out. But if you prove to her that the people she loves are safe with you, she might just trust you long enough for all of us to survive."

"And you?" Carlisle's voice was soft but no less determined. "How do I convince you?"

I ran my tongue along my teeth, letting him stew in a silence that would make anyone—vampire or not—squirm. "All I needed was proof. To know that you regret what you've done and you will never do it again." I could see the confusion on their faces as they noticed my use of past tense. "I felt it—your regret when Nemesis fulfilled the curse. That was enough for me."

He inhaled sharply and it seemed as if a great burden had been released from him. I noted the way Esme tightened her hold on his arm and I distinctly got the feeling that she was the only thing still holding him up.

"You've forgiven me?" His voice trembled slightly like he hadn't thought it a possibility, and I graciously pretended I hadn't noticed.

I shrugged. "Yeah. You did what you thought was right—not that it is any excuse—but, I can tell that since then you've made every step you can to make up for it. Both before and after we reappeared. You've shown me you've earned my forgiveness." I stepped closer, narrowing my eyes slightly. "But don't think for even a minute I will ever forget what you did. And if you betray us like that again, I will personally make you wish you'd burned alongside us."

"Never," he breathed.

"Good." I smiled suddenly. "And don't think this gets you out of grovelling. You have three hundred years worth of grovelling to do."

"Of course." Relief shined through his slight smile. "I'd expect nothing less."

"Excellent. Oh, and you're paying for the wedding by the way. I expect you to pull out all the stops—I'm not having some shitty sideshow for when Em and I tie the knot."

"You will get the most glorious wedding this world has ever seen," Carlisle said seriously.

After the runes I knew Emmett was the only one for me. Yes, we still had work to do on our relationship, but I knew where it would eventually lead. He was everything to me and always would be.

Though I was a little put out that Emmett hadn't even attempted to propose yet. I'd known for at least—I paused to do the mental maths—two hours that he was the one. Really what on earth was taking him so long? Of course that was ignoring the fact that we've only known each other for a few months and that previously I had given him no indication that I wanted a proposal, or would accept one. But those were simply trifling details.

"The others are here," Esme murmured suddenly, looking out the window before glancing over my shoulder. "We'll meet you down there."

They disappeared out the door and I turned around to see Emmett leaning against the doorframe. He had a serious look on his face like he was trying to make me nervous, but the colours flashing around him belied it entirely. Red danced around him like a gorgeous fire that set my heart racing.

"So we're getting married, huh?"

I hummed, sliding closer to him until we were toe-to-toe. I settled my hands on his hips and stepped closer still. He dropped his faux seriousness as he cupped my cheeks. I leaned into his touch. "Yep."

"I'm hurt that I had to find out this way," he said, grinning. "Where's my extravagant proposal? Where's the ring?"

Blue and red pulsed around him in a dizzying kaleidoscope that made my heart race. I leaned up to brush my lips against his. "Funny. That's what I was going to say."

His chuckle sent fire racing through my bones. "Well you'll just have to wait until I ask for Bella's permission, angel."

"That's a given, but do be sure you plan the proposal before you actually ask her. Or she will do it for you. Along with the wedding if you let her. Then she'll join forces with Alice and Carlisle's credit card, and before you know it we'll be having a destination wedding." I snorted.

"What makes you think I don't already have it all planned?" He brushed his thumb over my cheek, reverential purple light pulsing from his skin. "I plan to take your breath away, angel."

My cheeks ached from the force of my grin and I pressed closer to him still. "You already do."

I buried my face into his chest as his arms came around me. I couldn't get enough of this. Just this. His arms around me, holding me like it was the easiest thing in the world. I could stay like this forever.

Eventually, I murmured into his chest, "Not yet though."

"I know." He ran his hand through my hair. "We have things to work through first. And then it's you and me forever."

I kissed the curve of his jaw. "It's always been you and me forever. I just took a while to see it."

"Take as long as you need, angel. I'm not going anywhere."

We stayed like that for hours, possibly weeks, until I pulled back with a sigh. "We should go see what Alice wants. She wouldn't have called a meeting unless it was important. But if it is something scandalous like they're eloping before us, I will throw her off a cliff." I rolled my neck to stretch out the muscles and sighed again. "Let's get this over with. The sooner it's done the sooner we can get back to us."

"That is my favourite idea." Emmett's arms around me dropped until he was just holding my hand. "If I had the choice I'd never let it be anything but us."

I smiled, rolling my eyes as I intertwined my fingers with his. I started towards the stairs, but he tugged me back to his side before I could get too far. I raised an eyebrow at him and his smile turned shy.

"I have a present for you," he murmured, reaching into his back pocket. "Close your eyes and hold out your hands."

I did so, almost bouncing on my toes in excitement. He pressed a small wooden object into my hands and my eyes snapped open. My breath stuttered.

"Emmett…"

He shrugged, sheepish. "Since it's already yours, I figured I'd give you my heart."

It was a small wooden heart, roughly the size of his fist, lovingly and painstakingly carved.

"It's beautiful."

"Yeah?"

I looked up at him through the tears in my eyes. "Yeah. I love it." I cupped his cheek in my hand. "I love you."

His smile lit up the room. "I love you too, angel."

"Are you two done fucking up there?" Alice's voice cut through the air suddenly and I wanted to stab her.

"I will remove her liver through her throat," I growled, dropping my face into my love's chest.

He snorted. "Come on. Before she comes up to see."

With a groan, we headed downstairs to join them.

"Besides," Emmett mused as we walked into the living room. "How bad can it be?"

I could have hit him! Fuck! Number one rule of witchcraft: never ever tempt fate! I closed my eyes at the utter horror of it. "Never say that again." I held up a finger and raised a sharp eyebrow at him when he started to speak. "Ever!"

"Tell me Emmett didn't just tempt fate?" Alice called out from where she stood at the front door, sighing when I did. "Great. Instant death for all of us." She threw up her hands. "Fucking Emmett! As if this wasn't bad enough."

"Oi!" Indignation rumbled through the accused as he wrapped his arms around me. "What did I do?"

"Maybe if you can keep your mouth shut for this meeting no one will feel the need to sow it shut." Jasper grinned lazily at Emmett from where he sat on the couch. He tugged Alice into his lap. "Don't particularly feel like cleaning up pieces of you after this because you've pissed off a witch."

"Fairly certain of the two of us, you're the one who's pissed off the most witches."

"No, that title definitely goes to Edward." Alice lounged back into her boy-toy's arms. "Or Carlisle."

"You're hilarious." Edward appeared suddenly at the piano, pouting as usual.

My sister poked her tongue at him before straightening. "Good, we're all here. Time to get to business."

"Where's Bella?" Edward interrupted. "We need to wait for her. Plus I have no desire to be the seventh wheel."

I snorted. "What, because you think you'd be a couple if she's here?" I grinned at him when he scowled at me. "You'd probably be lonelier if she was here to ignore you too."

"Bella's not joining us," Alice cut in before we could dissolve into bickering.

Edward frowned. "What do you mean she's not joining us?" he demanded.

I glared at him, I was about to ask the very same question. The difference was, I had a right to. He didn't.

There was a stiffness in the way Alice sat, like she was nervous, that had me on edge. She glanced at Jasper who nodded, running a hand up and down her arms. She took a deep breath, turning back to us.

"I had a vision." She locked eyes with me.

I stiffened. "Whole? Fragmented? Asleep? Awake? Set? Variation?" I fired out.

The Cullens looked at me like I had grown a second head but these were important questions. The type of vision typically helped us plan for it. A whole vision was easily deciphered and attained through scrying after a vision she got while asleep. These were warnings and could be changed

A fragmented vision meant multiple possibilities that could also be changed but were much harder to do so. Set visions would come about no matter what way you steered—like Alice's vision of us moving here.

Variations were what we called recurring visions that she'd had over the years. They were essentially the same with small deviations depending on our choices. They changed slightly, but would come to pass in a general sense. The only variation Alice had had so far was of us forming a coven. Those had been happening since our first life.

Alice bit her lip as I narrowed my eyes at her "A whole one," she admitted with some reluctance.

I frowned. "Then why isn't Bella here? Loath as I am to agree with the cactus-target she should be here and help us figure it out."

My ears pricked as I realised that Jasper was describing the difference in visions to his family in that speedy vampire way of theirs. I frowned—when had Alice explained that to him? My eyes honed in on my sister.

"Look, it's complicated. Please just agree to hear the vision and then I'll tell you everything," she begged.

The Cullens—bar Edward—agreed.

I frowned before a lightbulb went off in my head. Of course Bella knew this was happening. She and Alice had probably already talked and decided that due to whatever issues the vision brought up, Alice would talk to us alone.

I nodded my agreement as Edward reluctantly gave his as well.

Alice sighed in relief. "Thank you, I only want to repeat this once so please wait until I'm done to ask questions. The vision was a confrontation with Victoria. I don't know when, but I do know it's soon. She had an army of vampires with her, thirty at least, but not James and Laurent for some reason. On our side were the wolves, a group of witches and another group of vampires that share your diet."

I could see an awareness lighting in the Cullens' eyes, but they stayed silent as promised.

"For a while we were winning and cutting through them like paper…but then everything went wrong." Her voice was a cracked whisper at the end as she met my eyes. "She died."

I didn't have to ask to know who she was talking about. I felt as if my breath had been knocked out of me. Everyone stiffened and I knew they had realised as well.

Alice swallowed thickly before continuing. "It wasn't even a mistake on her part. She sacrificed herself. And the wolves were furious—I don't know why; it's not like they give a damn about us—but they let out this awful howl, and I just knew. I knew she was even if we won, we lost."

Edward was the first to break the silence. "Does Bella know any of this?"

"No." She clenched her jaw, looking Edward dead in the eyes. "And you can't tell her."

Edward stood up, nose flaring. "The hell I can't! She deserves to know! You know you can't keep something like this from her!"

"I plan to tell her eventually, but not until we have a solid plan to give to her," Alice reasoned, though I could see the effort to stay calm was weighing on her. "Otherwise she is never going to work with your family."

"She'll never accept an ultimatum! Do you even know your sister?" he sneered.

I bit my lip. He was right. Not telling her was a terrible idea, but I also wanted to hear Alice out. She must have some reason for her plan.

"Oh and you think you do?" Alice snapped. "I have known Bella my entire life, but you've known her for a few months and suddenly you're an expert? Yes, I know she'll hate this plan, but when she hears why, she'll understand why we couldn't tell her." She pointed furiously at Edward when he tried to speak. "No! Just because you want to fuck my sister doesn't mean you have the right to tell me what's best for her. She has enough on her plate without adding this too!"

"Ali," I said calmly. "You know how Bella feels about lies. Maybe we should tell her. Why do you want to keep this from her?"

"I—" she cut herself, swallowing thickly. She glanced at Jasper, some silent communication passing between them before she closed her eyes, almost in resignation. "Bella has done everything for us. For once I'd like to do something for her. I just want to give her something that for once doesn't stress her out. If we can give her a solid plan, then she doesn't have to worry about how to save us. We can save her for once."

My heart ached for how small her voice was at the end.

"That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard." Edward's lip curled and his glare was almost as heated as Bella's could be. "Your reason for blocking your sister out of this, is because you want to put your big girl pants on and do this yourself? You really are an idiot."

Alice set her jaw. "It's a good reason! Bella deserves a break! Besides, she does things like this all the time. How hard can it be? And it's not like we're keeping this from her forever. Just until we come up with a plan she won't hate! Just think how much pressure will be removed from her shoulders when we present our plans to her."

"Oh, well, as long as you have a plan," he said. "Oh, wait—you don't. Instead you're just trying to push your sister out of planning because it'll make things uncomfortable."

"Says the baby who always seems to piss Bella off every time he opens his mouth," I snapped back, seeing red that this vampire was defending my sister when it should have been us defending her. "Considering she can't stand in the same room as you without biting your head off, I think it's a good idea!" I did not think it was a good idea, but I trusted Alice. "Bella will never work with you unless she has no choice."

Edward growled. "She'll never agree to work with us if that choice is taken away! Have you even thought this through?" He turned back to Alice.

"Thought this—!" Alice stood up, furious. "All I've done is think this through! I have considered every side of it! You think I don't know Bella will be upset? That I haven't considered the consequences?"

"So you're prepared for any reaction? Even her hating you for this?"

Alice looked taken aback at that, like the thought hadn't crossed her mind, but she dismissed it just as quickly. "She is my sister! Who the hell are you to tell me how she'll react?"

"It doesn't take a genius to see this foolish plan is doomed from the start! I ask again: are you prepared for her anger? For her hatred? Somehow I don't think she's the type who takes betrayal well!" Edward hissed.

"Enough," Jasper growled. "We have no idea how Bella will react, but what's done is done. The best thing to do now is come up with a plan that keeps everyone safe. We're not suggesting we do all of this without Bella." He made eye contact with each of us before settling on Edward. "Just—"

" Just everything that matters," Edward growled.

"—Just that we come up with an idea we can give her that she won't immediately hate." Jasper flattened his eyes when Edward started to argue. "Bella hates Carlisle to the point where she can barely stay in the same room as in. Alice is not suggesting we keep Bella blind to all of this, just that we come up with something that won't end with everyone dead. Again."

"Then you'll fucking do it without me. I refuse to be a part of this shit show." He glared at us, standing up. "Not unless Bella's here."

He's not serious. Is he?

"Don't be an idiot," Jasper growled. "We'll be at a disadvantage without your input."

"You'll be at a disadvantage without Bella," he said over his shoulder. "Maybe you ought to include the only actual person who's stood a chance against Victoria before?" He shrugged before heading up to his room. "Might help!" he called from the second floor.

Sleep evaded me that night. All I could think about was how terribly everything had gone after Edward had left. We'd started organising our schedules and deciding when to meet to begin planning, but I hadn't been able to shake the feeling that we were making a huge mistake.

About half an hour after he'd left, Edward came back. Scribbling in a notebook as he went to sit in the corner, I'd hoped he'd changed his mind. But he just sat there, writing and occasionally glaring at us.

"It'll be fine," Emmett had assured me when he drove me home earlier, like he didn't understand the magnitude of lying to Bella. "Siblings lie all the time."

Maybe fake siblings like you, I'd thought. "Not us. Bella hates liars. And that's what we are now. We're liars," I murmured to myself as I wrapped my arms around my middle and all I could imagine was the disappointed look she would give us when she found out. This is a terrible idea.

Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was the inevitable betrayal and disappointment Bella would look at us with when she found us all out.

Seemingly hours later, I eventually fell into a fitful sleep full of nightmares.

I took a deep breath as we stood in front of Bella waiting for her reaction. The silence was killing me as she stood there, still as a statue, staring at us intently. I silently begged for her to say something, anything. I would come to regret that.

Finally Bella's face contorted into a look of pure rage. I gulped as I started to shake, not ready for her fury. "How could you do this to me? I am your sister! I raised you when no one else would. I made sure you had everything, and this is how you repay me?

"By concocting plans with my enemy and his family!? You are a disgrace to the McKinnon line! I am so disappointed in you! I can never forgive you for this, you have committed an unpardonable offence! We are no longer sisters, get out of my sight! I regret everything I ever did for you!"

I let out a strangled sob as Alice just stood there, in shock.

"No! Please! I'm sorry! I swear we'll never do anything like that again!" I cried.

But Bella wasn't listening. She turned on her heel and walked away as I chased after her "No! Please, Bella, I'm sorry! I swear to Hekate that I'll never betray you again! Bella! Bella! Please don't leave me! Don't go! You're the only mother I've ever known! Please don't walk away! Bella! Please, don't leave me like everyone else! I'm sorry!"

Yet no matter how fast I ran I couldn't catch up to her. I was vaguely aware of Alice crying in the background, "I never thought she'd actually hate us for it, I never even considered it, this is all my fault! "

Soon I was alone again, running blindly after Bella as the distance between us became impossible to overcome.

I eventually collapsed on my knees, wailing in pure agony. It felt as if there was a hole where my heart should have been, I could barely breathe through the suffocating pain. "Please, I swear. I'm sorry, I swear it on my life. Please, Bella. please come back. Don't leave me, Mum."

I jolted awake with a stifled gasp, "No!" Tears were streaming down my face and I curled into a ball. "Please, no. Don't go!"

"Rosie?" My door cracked open and Alice poked her head through. "Is everything— Oh, honey."

She closed the door behind her and sat beside me, wrapping her arms around me. I curled into her side, shaking from my sobs. She ran a hand through my hair. "It's okay. It was just a nightmare."

I shook my head, burrowing closer. "No, it's not!" I croaked. "Mum's going to hate us!" I whimpered, my mind in disarray.

Alice didn't have to ask who I meant—she knew. She pressed a kiss to my hair. "Is that what your nightmare was about?" she asked after a long moment.

I nodded, a fresh wave of sobs racking my frame, and she pulled my closer. She held me until my tears ran out and my shaking slowed. "I promise you, Rosie; she isn't going to hate us. This is Bella—she could never hate us."

"But what if you're wrong? What if this is the final straw?" I insisted, lifting up my head. "What if she never forgives us?"

Alice's expression cracked a little, panic peeking through, before she smiled and it was gone. "That's not going to happen. I promise." She pulled me closer. "And I always keep my promises, Rosie. Everything's going to be okay."

But Alice wasn't as good as me at pretending. She didn't have my practice, and I knew she didn't quite believe what she'd just said. And that just made me more terrified that this was going to end terribly.

She pressed a soft kiss to my furrowed brows and pulled my blankets over me. "Get some sleep, Rosie. Everything'll be okay. I promise."

"Will you stay?" My voice was pitifully small and weak, but I didn't care. I couldn't be alone, not when my nightmare was still there.

"Of course." Alice settled in beside me with a barely hidden look of worry. "Of course. I'm not going anywhere."

Even as she continued to whisper that everything was going to be okay, I couldn't help but feel everything was about to change—and it would never be the same again.