To say I slept soundly would be a lie. I tossed and turned all night and checked my phone more times than I would like to admit. And the second the sun started coming out I knew I couldn't lay in bed anymore. So I got up and started our morning routine with Miles, trying to be mindful of Zack sleeping on the couch. If he's going be sleeping here permanently then we should really look into an air mattress. I looked around the tiny apartment and thought about where we would put it before snorting. Wherever it would go would just be fitting for the white trash life we have both lived up until this point.
While Miles was sniffing around the tree line looking for the perfect spot, I thought back to everything that has happened between my first day here until now. On the run from someone who really hurt me and a life I no longer wanted to live to living in a hybrid Stephen King novel.
Jacob's freaky wolf eyes staring at me through the trees really fit the tone for that one. That could of been the cover of my shitty horror book. Bastard. And now I have all this knowledge about shit I could have gone my whole life without knowing and I'm supposed to just carry on like nothing has changed. Like I'm still that white trash girl who has to work two jobs because living in your car was more miserable than working nonstop. Speaking of, I was pulling a double today at both bars so I didn't know how Jake and I were supposed to actually talk.
It wasn't until we went back inside and I started getting ready that I heard my phone buzz on my nightstand.
'Sorry, I was on patrol all night. When are you free?'
Patrol, right. That super normal shapeshifter thing. To protect from the cold ones.
'I work a double today' Was all I sent back before realizing I wasn't giving him much to work with. Especially since I opened this line of communication back up. 'You could close the bar with me tonight'
I stopped doing my makeup and leaned against the sink biting my thumb nail.
'I really think this should be in private' I frowned at his response. I wasn't closing the Forks bar down until midnight tonight and didn't really know what condition I would be in after to have a conversation like this. At least if he came to the bar I could lock the door a little early and talk while I cleaned.
'I won't be done until almost 1' I sent back. I could feel my stress levels rising when he didn't respond right away. Eventually I had to put my phone back down and go back to getting ready. It wasn't until I was getting ready to walk out the door did I feel the buzz in my back pocket.
I was a little ashamed of how fast I pulled my phone out.
'Ok' was all he typed. I sighed and took whatever I would get.
'Ok'
Thankfully my shift at the brewery went smoothly and I made decent money for a lunch crowd. I talked to one of my managers about Zack getting hired and they said they would give him a call. I tried not to be disappointed in my drive back to Forks over the fact that Jake hadn't sent me anymore texts. Though, I don't know what he would say so I really couldn't blame him for that.
I said hi to Joe and put my purse behind the bar to get settled in for the night.
And then my night carried on like any other night at the bar. John left after checking the register and making sure the inventory list was up to date and left me to the few regulars I had. Around 9 I started to feel jittery. Around 10 I started to feel nauseous. Around 11 I was one tick away from a full blown panic attack. I had thought about texting Jake to see what time he was coming but the thought of doing so almost made me feel worse. I was dealing with a double edged sword here.
Isn't ignorance bliss?
About a quarter after 11, the door opened which caused me to flip around from the register much fast than I would like to admit.
"Hey" He said it so casually, it almost pissed me off. "Really packing them in here, huh?" He joked about the empty bar. We were the only people here.
It took me a minute to find my voice but eventually I managed to spit something out. "I was just getting ready to start closing."
"How have you been?" He asked sitting down at the corner of the bar closest to me.
I couldn't help it. The snort that left me was a little too loud.
"Real fucking peachy. Thanks for asking." I went back to counting the drawer. He remained silent while I kept my back to him. I finished before grabbing the till out of the drawer and putting it back in the office. I came back out and started grabbing the bar mats. "Do you want anything?" I asked.
"No. Just to talk."
"So start talking." I said, probably a little too aggressively, while throwing the mats in the small dishwasher. I was heavily debating on a double shot of anything at this point just to get my nerves under control.
"Okay." He sighed. "I know it's a lot of information to take in. Believe me, I get it." I finally turned to give him my undivided attention while the dishwasher ran. "And whatever you take from this or don't, I just want you to know that I would never put you in danger. I made a judgment call that clearly wasn't the right one and I'm sorry for it."
"Here's what I want to know." I leaned on the bar next to him. "Why me?"
It was almost comical how fast he paled. Almost.
"About that. There is more to the story, I guess."
"You guess? What the fuck dude?" What if this is all just some big joke and I'm just sitting over here buying it. I should probably be checked into an institution somewhere.
"I'm clearly not going to win here." He ran his hands over his face before letting out a large sigh. "We have this…thing, called imprinting."
"Like ducks?" I don't know why it's the first thing that popped into my brain. Clearly I didn't kill all my braincells in high school with drugs. Thanks for the lasting science lesson Mr. Miller.
"No." He let out a huff but clearly it wasn't that funny. "The dumbest way I could describe it would be like finding your soulmate."
I don't know why it could but I connected some dots real fast.
Who's the one laughing now?
"Get the fuck out of here." I laughed and went back to the dishwasher. "The irony is that the shapeshifting and the legends and the vampires and whatever else bullshit you were spouting was making sense. You need to march your happy ass out of here if you think for one fucking second that I'm your soulmate." I opened the dishwasher letting the steam hit me in the face. "What fucking bullshit." I muttered. I looked over at him when he wasn't moving. What part of get out wasn't clear?
He opened his mouth but I cut him off again. "Does something about me just attract fucking psycho-ness? I don't know what you learned from your supposed other psycho mind-reader. But I've been arrested and gone to jail for a wonderful domestic violence situation because my coked out ex came at me with a razor blade to the throat so I grabbed a kitchen knife and decided I was going to swing back." Was it embellished a bit? Maybe? "Now because of some snowball effect I have some cop up my ass for no reason even though I'm miles away from that situation. I have someone sleeping on my couch who I'm pretty sure still fucks around with that crowd because somehow everyone knows my phone number at this point. And now I have some batshit linebacker telling me he turns into a forest critter and I'm his soulmate. I love that for me."
It was silent for a minute while I slapped the bar mats upside down to dry on a rack.
"I'm not a forest critter."
I laughed until I was crying. I put my head in my hands and just put my head down on the bar. At some point it turned into actual crying. A bar stool scraped across the floor until I felt heat on my arms.
"Baylee."
I took a deep breath before lifting my head up. I shook his hands off my arms before wiping my face off. I needed to finish closing so I could go home and lay in bed for the rest of my life.
"Listen, I explained it poorly. It's a lot more than that. You don't even have to like me! Just know that it means you'll always be protected and I'm not going to let anything that happened to you in the past happen again." He leaned across the bar.
"Ah, what a high bar to get over." I rolled my eyes before grabbing a rag and wiping everything down. "I should of just let him kill me that night." I said under my breath.
"Don't say shit like that." I chanced a glance at him and he actually had the gall to look mad. Precious. He looked up to the ceiling before taking a deep breath and sitting back down. "If you want a full explanation then I'll give one but if you really want me to leave then I will."
"Well you're already on a roll, bud, so you might as well keep at it." I leaned down to drain the sink wishing I could also just disappear down the drain with all the dirty water.
"It was that night at the grocery store. I was not expecting it to ever happen to me, honestly. It's supposed to be a rare thing but it's happened to five of us at this point so I don't know exactly how rare that it is." He waved his hand like he was getting off topic. "But anyways it was that night. And when I looked at you it's like the world just shifts and everything finally clicks into place. That I've been doing this for years and it took me a minute but I finally embraced it and got into the spot I'm in and comfortable but the second I saw you I knew why I was doing all of this. And I'm not saying you have to love me or feel any certain thing towards me because it's not like that. It just gives me a purpose."
I raised an eyebrow. "If I'm your purpose for living, which how unhealthy, then I could just fuck off tomorrow without a word and you'd be fine?"
"I'd find you." He shrugged.
"Again, how unhealthy." I'm the toxic queen at this point. I could write the handbook on unhealthy relationships.
"It doesn't have to be a relationship. Quil imprinted on a five year old. It's about being whatever that person needs in life. And I know I'm about to put my foot in my mouth here but it seems like you could use someone too. So maybe that's why all the spirits and gods picked you."
"Lucky me." I deadpanned. "You know what I need?" I smiled at him. "Someone to put all the chairs up for me." I batted my eyes at him before rolling my eyes and throwing the dirty rags in the little bucket to be washed later.
He didn't say anything but easily started flipping chairs to put up on the bar rail. I leaned against the side of the bar with my arms crossed while he did all the lifting for me. If what he was saying was true then I felt sorry for him. I couldn't even imagine being tied to someone as messed up as I was.
I couldn't even believe the words coming out of my mouth next were real but here we are. "So pocketing the unhealthy obsession conversation for a later date. What about the supposed bad guy of the story you just let into my house?"
He made his was over to the end of the bar before crossing his arms and rocking back and fourth from foot to foot. Like he didn't know what to do with his body right now. If I didn't think I was currently having a fever dream, I would have found it adorable. Someone with his stature should never look so nervous.
"His name is Edward and we have a past. Or a mutual connection?" It would be even more adorable that everything was coming out as a question if we weren't talking about fucking vampires. "I used to have a crush or whatever on his now wife."
He actually physically jumped when I let out a loud laugh.
"The plot thickens!" I laughed. This really was a CW tween show. And I'm playing the 23 sophomore in high school. "Aren't you not supposed to sleep with the enemy?"
"She was human at the time. It was years ago. Like high school." Why was he so embarrassed by this conversation. Ironically, this is the most normal thing we've talked about in the last two weeks.
"Okay," He rolled his neck like he was about to get in a boxing match. "Her name is Bella and she's Charlie's daughter who moved here in high school and started dating Edward and then he dumped her and then we started hanging out and then I basically fell in love with her and then I, as you called it, turned into a forest critter and then realized he was a vampire and then the pack started fully forming and then Edward came back and she chose him and we went to war with some prick vampires who think they run the government or something and then Edward knocked her up and she had a half vampire baby who is Nessie who you've met." He finally took a deep breath. I'm pretty sure he said that whole thing in one breath.
"Okay, so…" I blinked. "Vampire babies and going to war against the government. Cool." I pursed my lips. "Anyways…"
"My point was that I've known him for years and I knew he had the medical experience and some semblance of control around blood enough to be able to patch up your friend. I did not know you would have some form of PTSD from something like that and I feel awful about it everyday."
I snorted at the PTSD comment. He wasn't far off the mark there but I didn't appreciate it being voiced out loud.
"As far as the cold ones go, most of them are leeches who deserve to die. Some of them are…okay." It seemed like it pained him to say something like that.
"So complimentary of you."
He finally cracked a smile and stood up a little straighter. The nervousness was fading and he looked more collected.
"The Cullens, which is the little family unit of them, call themselves vegetarians because they only feed from animals and not people. It's why their eyes are like orange and not red." He rolled his eyes and I thought about making a joke how it was finally his turn to be put off by a conversation but bit my tongue. "You've met Edward. Bella, his wife, was with him the night they went to go spy on you. And Nessie is their biological daughter who is around often because of Charlie."
"Got it." I did not 'got it'. "Well I'm glad we've sorted all our dirty laundry out to each other. This is exactly how I saw this conversation going." I turned to grab my things and find my car keys in my purse along with the bar keys.
"Technically you…" He trailed off before deciding against whatever it was he was going to say but it rubbed me the wrong way.
"Technically I what?"
"Uh…I was just…technically you already told me about your ex and stuff."
"When? Because I think I would remember telling someone I almost had a DV charge against me. Not exactly how I like my cold openings to start, you know?"
"You have a very dry sense of humor." The smirk was back. I just glared at him before he sighed. "You were telling Zack about it while I was in the room. Made it pretty easy to put a picture together." I don't remember doing this but it isn't exactly surprising at this point.
"Alright. Well this has been fun." I ushered him towards the door. He got the hint and headed out the door. I set the alarm before following him outside and locking the doors behind me. I noticed I was the only car in the parking lot.
"Did you run here?"
"Uh, yeah. With a change of clothes in a little bag. Felt like a pack mule for a bit."
"Wow. Soon you'll be giving kiddies rides at the local fair." I unlocked the car. "Would you like a ride home like a normal person?"
"You don't have to drive that far out of the way for me. Especially this late at night." He leaned against the back door to my car while I opened the drivers side and threw my purse into the passenger seat.
"Suit yourself." Honestly, probably for the best. With my luck officer asshole was going to find some way to pull me over on my way home or something.
"Are you okay?" He was staring at me again with that look. Which now made sense given everything he told me.
"Sure." I shrugged. "I'll probably check myself into an asylum in the next few days but it is what it is. Take a nice grippy socks vacation."
"Funny."
Was I okay with everything? Probably not. Did I really have a choice at this point? Didn't seem like it. I wasn't lying when I said it is what it is.
"To circle back to our healthy relationship,"
"Not a relationship right now."
"Right now. Ha. Who's the jokester now?" Did I really just say that?
Oh my fucking god, was I flirting? I hope not.
"To circle back? Yes? You shouldn't be out here much longer. You're going to freeze." It was a nice crisp fall night but I had barely noticed the temperature. Especially when the man-dog next to me radiated heat like a goddam furnace.
"To circle back to you just being whatever I need—"
"I ain't your servant." He frowned. "It's not about being at your beck and call. It's about protecting you."
"Okay." I frowned. I knew I shouldn't have asked. I regretted even entertaining the dumb idea that wasn't even mine to begin with. "Nevermind then." I climbed into the drivers seat and I could hear Jake letting out a frustrated groan.
"No. Sorry. What?" He reached over to put his hand on the top of my door so I couldn't shut it.
"Nothing. It's fine." I turned the key in the ignition before leaning over to turn the radio down so it wasn't blasting. Dogs hear things at higher frequencies anyways.
"Baylee." I was really starting to hate that expression on him. "Just say whatever you were going to say. I'm sorry for cutting you off."
"Zack needs helping moving and it's a lot to ask so just forget about it. It's not a big deal."
"Where's he moving to?" He still wouldn't get his arm off my door to let me close it.
"Here." I said it like it was obvious.
"With you?" I didn't like that tone he used.
"Yes." I didn't need to explain myself to him. He chewed the inside of his cheek for a second before sighing.
"When?"
"Why does it matter?" I asked. I really regretted bringing this up at all. I just wanted to leave at this point.
"Baylee." He huffed. "I'm sorry. Yes, I'll help."
"It's fine. Don't worry about it." I repeated.
"I'll help. I don't mind."
"It's a lot to ask. It's 8 hours in a car and then actually moving stuff. It's fine. Him and I can do it easily." Maybe not easily but we could do it. "Forget I even mentioned it. And you're right. I'm freezing. So can I go home now? And I'll text you or something."
"Okay." He finally got his arm off my door and took a step back. "Text me when you get home."
"Sure." I nodded and grabbed the door handle. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight Baylee." He crossed his arms and I didn't look back before driving off. I no longer wanted to think about today or tomorrow or anything. I just wanted to sleep.
But if I text him that I made it home safe and sound then that was between me, him, and whatever fucked up spirit that thought we'd be compatible.
Little Dark Age by MGMT