(...) Draco excused himself and ran to the fireplace in the entrance Hall, flooing home so quickly he got dizzy when he landed in his flat's living room.

But that day wasn't over yet – oh, no.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Draco shouted.

Right there on his sofa, the Boy-Who-Lived-Twice was half-naked on top of Theodore Nott.

Draco watched a half-naked Harry Potter – with no shirt and his cock out of his unfastened jeans – jump off of Theo and took a moment to seriously question if he hadn't suffered an accident two months ago and had been living inside a nightmare ever since.

"For my dinner's sake, get dressed, Potter!" Draco growled.

"Hey, man!" greeted Theo, fastening his pants as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. "I thought you'd be at the Manor."

"I was." He replied between gritted teeth, massaging his own temples, feeling a strong headache starting. "I had dinner there. But I live here, Theodore."

Harry, now properly dressed, sat beside Theo on the sofa and Draco turned his back on them, refusing to look at Potter right then and walking to the liquor cabinet instead, unsure if he wanted to deal with Theodore's mess on top of all the messes in his own life already.

"Yeah. Sorry." Theo said, not even trying to look embarrassed. "I forgot that you no longer live with-"

"Stop talking, Nott!" Draco ordered, glancing at the man beside his friend.

"So," Theo continued, ignoring the elephant in the room – a.k.a the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Snog-Him. "How was dinner at your parents'? Are you alright?"

"No." Draco shook his head and barked a heavy laugh, pouring a half-full glass of firewhisky. "I had quite a day, Theo... then had to share dinner with my parents and fiancée which ended with banoffee pie. And I thought that would be the lowest point of my night but clearly I was very very wrong. Nothing is so bad it can't get worse." He finally looked at the couple on the sofa and sipped some more firewhisky, before deciding to ask: "So you're fucking Scarhead?"

"We're fucking each other. Yes." Said Theo, looking at Harry with a sweet smile.

Draco finished the glass of firewhisky and shook his head again, closing his eye momentarily. "What kind of alternative reality have a fallen into?"

"Relax, Dray." Said Theo, using his childhood nickname, "Harry and I are together... it's no big deal."

"Actually," said Harry with a frown. "It is a big deal. I fucking asked you to marry me!"

Draco stared at the unexpected couple as if they were a car crash – it was stomach-churning but he couldn't find the strength to look away.

"You don't want to marry the son of a Death Eater, love." said Theo softly.

"Except I fucking do!" growled Harry, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and kissing him hard.

"Ugh!" groaned Draco, pouring himself another drink. "Stop it! I don't need to witness that!" and he downed the contents of his glass in seconds, pouring a third one and drinking as if it were pumpkin juice.

"Is that... normal?" Harry asked, concerned and surprised by the fast alcohol consumption.

Theo shook his head and went towards his friend, taking the firewhisky bottle away from him.

"Hey, give it back!" Shouted Draco.

"No, Dray, stop it! Slow down, man. What the fuck did your parents do?"

"Not them." Draco suddenly sobbed, unable to hold in his feelings anymore. "I did it, Theo! I fucked up and I can't take it anymore!"

"What happened?" Theo asked, surprised by the unexpected crying.

But Draco didn't answer, he just leaned on the liquor cabinet while sobs shook his body.

Theo stared at his friend for a while and then called: "Eli?"

"Yes, Mr. Theo?" asked the elf as he appeared.

"Do you know what's going on with him?" he pointed at Draco.

Eli nodded, saying: "Eli's Master's woman is pregnant."

"What?" asked a Theo, surprised. "Astoria is pregnant? He'll have to hurry the wedding? Is that why he's crying?"

"No." Draco whispered, shaking his head and pouring a shot of mead, drinking it before Theodore could take that from him too. "SHE is... She is pregnant, Theo." He whispered, glancing at Potter and avoiding saying her name.

"Granger is pregnant?" Theo nearly shouted as he finally understood what he meant. "Congratulations, I guess?"

Draco shook his head again. "No. They are not mine..." He added bitterly. "She's having twins with Charlie Weasley. Potter must have heard of it. Are you the godfather, Scarhead?" he looked at the man in question.

Harry nodded slowly, wondering why would Theo think to congratulate Draco on Hermione's pregnancy.

But Theo was looking from him to Draco as if they had both gone crazy.

"Charlie Weasley?" Exclaimed Theo. "No fucking way! The dude is gayer than me! What are you two on about?"

"That's all I know." Said Draco. "Hermione said it was an accident... so maybe a drunk fuck. I don't know, Theodore!" He threw his hands in the air. "Fuck! I need more alcohol!" He tried to get the firewhisky from Theo's hands but Theo quickly vanished the bottle.

"Give it back, Nott!" Draco demanded.

"No. No way."

Then Draco jumped on his childhood friend, a clumsy fight ensuing, for Draco was too drunk to hit his target but he was larger than Theo, so they both tumbled and rolled onto the floor until Theo managed to straddle his friend, but still Draco fought back, trying to push him off of him.

"Stop this shit, Draco!" Theo slapped the blonde's face and stood up.

"Fuck!" Draco groaned, turning onto his side on the floor and continuing sobbing.

Theo walked to Harry and noticed he stared at Draco with a frown.

"I know Charlie is marrying Mione," Harry spoke in a low serious tone. "There was a dinner-party at the Burrow to celebrate it a while ago. They told us that she had got pregnant by accident and-"

"This makes no sense, Harry!" Exclaimed Theo. "Granger loves that sad excuse of a man sobbing on the marble floor, she wouldn't marry-"

"I agree with you- wait." It was Harry's turn to interrupt him. "She what?" he exclaimed.

Theo sighed and spilled the truth: "Draco and Hermione were a couple for the last four years."

"WHAT?" Harry shouted. "Mione and him?" he looked at the man on the floor. "Malfoy, is that true?"

"No." Draco denied in a monotone voice. "Theodore's nuts. You should learn that if you want to marry him."

"It's all true." Theo rolled his eyes and smirked. "I truly am nuts, and his lordship there was fucking the brightest witch of our age."

Then Draco whispered: "Four years and six months." too emotionally drained to keep denying it.

"But what about the Greengrass?" Harry asked, confused. "Your fiancée."

"His father forced him to get engaged to a pureblood." Theo answered.

"Yes!" Draco let out a bitter laugh and turned on his back, staring at the high ceiling of his living room. "But, apparently, my mother had spent the last two years stalling my father's plans, to give me the chance to grow some balls and introduce Granger as my chosen bride." He slowly sat up, his voice slurring as the large amount of alcohol he had drunk at once finally reached his bloodstream, making him numb and drunk. "Mother even scolded me for measuring my life with my father's ruler and then went on to tell me about some curse that makes sure Malfoys ever only have one heir."

"Yes. I know. My father's family has that too..." said Theo.

"Hold on." Harry asked, getting a bit lost in that conversation. "Purebloods can't have more than one kid? What about the Weasleys?"

"Some Sacred Twenty-Eight families were cursed centuries ago." Explained Theo. "Malfoys, Notts, Goyles, Bulstrodes and a few others..."

"Yeah..." continued Draco. "But do you get what I'm saying, Theo? I could've married her! I could've given her the ring I bought her three years ago!" He fell silent for a moment, toying with some speck of dirt he found on the floor. "I can't stop thinking of her baby-bump..." he admitted his obsession. "Everywhere I turn someone is petting her bump. My mother, Weasley, Zabini." He growled. "She's carrying two babies, Theo, two babies I didn't put in her!" his voice broke and he was crying on the floor again, mumbling in his drunken-state: "I wanna kiss and touch and lick her lovely, sexy, round belly. Cover it with my cum until her babies become my babies too."

Theo and Harry made disgusted faces.

"That's not how genetics work, Dray." Theo said.

But Harry was pulling his boyfriend closer, whispering: "Theo, from the beginning I had a feeling this whole Charlie/Mione thing made no sense. She said they were drunk when they fucked but... she has never been one to get sloshed and we both know Charlie wouldn't fuck a woman even if he was drunk. He'd have begged her to peg him instead."

Harry looked at Draco again, his auror training kicking in and helping him make sense of all that was happening there.

So Malfoy was dating Hermione, but got engaged to a pureblood woman. Then shortly after Hermione claims to be expecting Charlie's kids.

No. Harry paused. It can't be.

It was too obvious.

"How long ago have they split?" Harry asked after a moment.

"Granger kicked him out the night he announced his engagement to the Greengrass. Why?"

Harry exhaled sharply, shaking his head, "I saw Mione vomiting a week before that night, Theo."

Theo looked at him with widening surprised eyes. "Holy shit. Holy fucking... are you serious, Harry?"

"Yes. I walked into her office to drop some files and I heard her retching in her private bathroom."

Theo gasped, "Sweet fucking Salazar!" he put both hands on Harry's face and kissed him deeply, before going to his blond friend, who was nearly passed out on the floor, pulling him up and slapping his face again.

"Fucking hell! Can't people stop hitting me today?" Draco shouted. "What was that for?"

"You're an idiot!" said Theo putting a vial of Sober-up Potion in his hand.

"That's not news, Theodore. I've heard that more than once today already." He looked at the vial. "And I don't want this. I want to drink my weight in firewhisky tonight."

"Drink the Potion, Drake!" ordered Theodore.

Draco glared at him and then looked at Harry, "You should know, Scarhead, Theodore is a bossy bitch."

"Already aware of that, Ferret." Said Harry, unsmiling.

"Yes." Said Theo, rolling his eyes, "Now, forget the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Suck-My-Cock is here and drink the damn potion!"

"Jeez, Nott." Complained Draco, closing his eyes momentarily and shivering in disgust. "That image... unnecessary." and he drank the Potion.

They waited a minute for the effects to begin, and when Draco squared his shoulders and his eyes seemed to focus, Theo spoke again:

"It's been two months since the break up, Draco, have you even realized WHY she broke up with you?"

"Of course I did! I got engaged to someone else, someone that wasn't her!" Draco's stood up slowly. "She wanted me to marry her. And I wanted to marry her... but I couldn't – at least I thought I couldn't! And now it's too late."

"No... it goes deeper than that, Draco..." continued Theo, needing him to see how big was the damage he had done. "Granger believes you think she's not worthy of you – of being your wife."

Draco looked at his friend as if he had grown a second head. "What? Why would she think that? I love her! There's no worthier woman than her! I'm not the one worthy of her!"

"Now that we can agree on!" said Harry, his eyes showing he was not amused.

Theo glanced at his boyfriend and then looked back at his blond friend. "The thing is... you didn't even try, man! You just accepted your dad wouldn't let you marry her as easily as you accepted the pureblood bint he chose to do the job."

Draco looked at him with anger "You know I'd marry Granger in a heartbeat if only..."

"She wasn't muggleborn?" finished Harry, scowling.

Draco winced. "That's not... I don't think like that! But my father... and tradition..."

"I'll fucking slap you again!" Theo shouted, "Fathers and traditions nearly ruined our lives, Draco!"

"It doesn't matter, Theo!" Draco said, his voice breaking in despair. "It's too late now! She's carrying Weasley's children!"

But both men shook their heads.

"Yes, she is!" Draco continued. "I saw her baby bump. Her beautiful, sexy... not-mine... baby-bump." He closed his eyes, the next part always hurting him deeply: "She'll name them Scorpius and Lyra, man... after constellations." His voice heavy with despair.

Theo looked at him, not believing how thick his friend could be: "That is your mother's family tradition." He pointed out, waiting for his friend to realize the truth on his own.

"Yes." Choked Draco, too lost in his own pain to have one rational thought. "Fuck! They could be mine! If I wasn't so stupid!"

"For fuck's sake, Malfoy!" shouted Harry. "For such a brilliant wizard you sure are dense sometimes!"

"He has always been a drama-queen." Sighed Theo. "This is not the first time I see him crying on the floor like that."

"I can't believe you dated Mione for nearly five years, ferret, even lived with her, then accepted to marry someone else." Harry growled.

"Yeah." Theo nodded with a grimace. "Thinking Granger would be content on being his side-hustle."

Harry lost it at that last bit; he crossed the distance between him and Draco in three large steps and landed a hard punch on the blonde's face.

"FUCK!" shouted Draco as he fell onto the floor again.

"He doesn't know, Harry!" shouted Theo, running towards them, seeing that his boyfriend intended to beat his friend into a pulp.

"DOESN'T KNOW?" Harry shouted. "He's a stupid bag of pureblood shit! To treat any woman like that would be abhorrent! But to do that to Hermione of all people! She saved his whole family from Azkaban!"

"Yes." Said Theo, trying to calm his boyfriend down. "Yes. But Draco needs time to understand how big he fucked up – he hasn't realized it yet!"

"What?" Asked Draco, his voice hoarse from all the shouting and crying. "What else don't I know?" His jealous brain coming up with another terrifying thought: "She was fucking Weasley before breaking up with me?"

Harry pulled him up and hit him again. "Don't you DARE speak of her like that! She's like a sister to me!"

Theo stood between them, helping his friend up, and saying: "Harry saw Granger vomiting a week before the night you two split."

Draco frowned deeply, struggling to understand what was being said to him as he had got a couple of blows to the head while still recovering from three shots of alcohol. "What?"

"Harry thinks..." Theo spoke slowly. "And I fully agree... that the babies are yours."

Draco froze in place, blood from his split-slip dripping down his chin as he looked at both of them and thought about the possibility of that.

"But the curse..." Draco stammered. "She's expecting twins. The curse says..."

Theo continued: "The curse says as long as purebloods kept marrying amongst themselves there would be fewer heirs to count."

"She's not pureblood." Draco said with a smile, swaying a little as he stood on his two legs. "I have to go to her!" he exclaimed, looking at Harry and demanding: "Take me to her house!"

"Not bloody likely." Harry scoffed.

"Take me to her! Please, Potter!" Draco wasn't above begging to get what he so desperately wanted. "I can't floo there anymore! I can't apparate there!"

"You can knock on her door." said Harry.

Draco winced. "Like a muggle?"

Both men looked at him reproachfully due to his tone.

"Fine!" and Draco disapparated.

"She's gonna kill him." Said Theo.

"Yeah. She will."