Chapter Nine

"Time travel, eh?"

"Yep."

"That's…um…that's quite a bit to digest all at once…"

"I'm aware."

He blinks several times, clearly struggling to accept everything I've just revealed to him in the past hour. To his credit, he received the news a lot better than I was expecting. Most men would crumble to learn that the boy they had raised and diligently trained had become a soulless villain bent on destroying everything they had spent their entire lives fighting to preserve. Obi-Wan, quite admirably, takes it all in stride. No hysterics. No denial. Just calm, clinical acceptance. After the emotional confrontation with Padme' earlier, I'm somewhat grateful for his serene detachment.

We sit huddled together near his starship, only a few klicks or so from the moisture farm. The air has grown significantly colder in the interim while I awaited his arrival, but I barely acknowledge it. Following the scene with Padme' I am utterly numb, both emotionally and physically. Revealing the truth to Obi-Wan feels practically cathartic at this point.

"I don't suppose that you could take me to this Sith temple, could you?" he considers after a pensive silence, "I should like to see it."

"I could take you if you wish. It's rife with dark energy though. You wouldn't like it there. Besides, it won't change anything."

"The possibility of time travel is most intriguing. If I could see it…"

"Search your feelings, Obi-Wan," I urge him softly, "You know what I've told you is the truth."

He studies me for a long moment, his gaze introspective and penetrating before his finally nods. "Yes," he admits, "I've sensed the change in you though I haven't been able to explain it. Your light is still blinding in the Force but…there is darkness now that surrounds you as well."

"That's because I'm not me. I'm a future version of me."

He studies me in the moonlight, and I can tell he is struggling to reconcile what he sees with his eyes, his 19-year-old padawan, with what he is being told. "How old are you now?"

"I passed my 33rd year six standard months before arriving here."

Once again, his appears to drink in my youthful visage with rapt fascination. "Remarkable. Just remarkable." He shakes his head in what I'm sure is his attempt to regain clarity. "And you've served as Sidious' apprentice all this time?" I nod and he recoils from the confirmation. "You're telling me that you're a Sith!"

"Former Sith. Fallen Jedi. I don't know what I am anymore."

"Why did you come back?" he asks me, dumbfounded.

"Why do you think?" I counter.

He doesn't hesitate to answer me and when he speaks it is with conviction and authority. "You wanted to make atonement for your actions. I must say, those aren't the motivations of a Sith, Anakin."

"How would you know what does and does not motivate a Sith?"

"I know that they deal in absolutes," he argues, "That they draw on their rage and hatred in their unquenchable thirst for power. I know that they don't feel regret. They certainly don't love…and they don't turn back to the Light."

"Then you would be wrong on all fronts, my old master," I conclude gruffly, "Because I was most certainly Sith…and I've felt all those things, done all those things. Falling to the dark side is not as black and white as the Jedi would have you believe."

"If you mean to justify-,"

"—it's not my intention to justify anything!" I interject sharply, "I know what I've done! I take full responsibility for my actions and the pain I've inflicted! But my fall didn't happen in a vacuum, Obi-Wan, and there were many other factors at play."

"What other factors?"

"For one, Palpatine manipulated me practically from my boyhood up and the Jedi Council allowed him the full access to do it!" I retort angrily, "They condemned me for my fondness for the man, but they never did a single thing to quell his growing influence over me! I was a child!"

"You never would have abided their interference on that front, Anakin, and you very well know it!"

"I never abided their interference in my life on any front! Since when did that ever stop them from trying to control me?" I snort, "The truth is that they didn't want to deal with me and my unpredictability and Palpatine kept me out of their hair!"

"Anakin, that's not true at all. Yes, the Council found you to be a…a handful but, they never meant to absolve themselves of responsibility for your well-being!"

"Spare me the heartfelt monologue on the Jedi High Council's more honorable attributes, Obi-Wan! I won't believe a single word you say!"

He stares at me with a stricken expression, likely not surprised to hear me speak this way but saddened, nonetheless. "You sound very bitter."

"You think?"

He regards me forlornly. "The Order has failed you, Anakin," he says softly, "I failed you."

I've heard some variation of this same woeful declaration multiple times, most especially from him after our last two grueling duels and I don't want to hear it again now. "Can we skip the Jedi platitudes as well?" I sigh wearily, "I'm in no mood to hear those either. I don't care. I stopped caring long ago."

"Then why come back at all?"

"Because he needs to be stopped. Because the Galaxy shouldn't have to be plunged into darkness due to our shortcomings."

"And how are we to do that?" he asks, "We have no proof at all that Chancellor Palpatine is the Sith Lord we've been looking for, nothing to tie him to this growing Separatist conflict! We will need time to gather sufficient evidence before we move against him."

"You gather evidence," I tell him, "I plan to act."

"What does that mean?"

"I know the name of every ally, every general, and every corrupt politician in Palpatine's pocket. What's more, I know all their hiding places. I'm going to find them. And when I do, I'm going to kill them."

"Anakin, you can't be serious!"

"Can't I?"

"You're talking about hunting people down in cold-blood!" he cries, "People who have done nothing deserving of death!"

"Are you so certain of that, Obi-Wan?" I scoff, "Each of them, every, single one plays their part in this war! They are as much to blame for what happens as the Chancellor! As the Jedi are to blame…as I am to blame! Besides that, Sidious already has them slated for death. Once they are no longer useful to him, they will be eliminated. I'll merely be bringing them to an earlier end."

"I can't believe what I'm hearing…" Obi-Wan mutters.

"You don't have to get your hands dirty," I tell him, "I'm willing to do whatever I need to do in order to end this war swiftly and cleanly!"

"There is no war, Anakin. You would be acting prematurely!"

"Yet," I correct, "But war is coming. We've avoided the intergalactic incident on Geonosis that ignites the first sparks, but that won't last. As we speak, Count Dooku is amassing a formidable droid army. He's going to attack. The questions now are when, where, and how."

"Then you should have let me go after the bounty hunter when I had the opportunity!"

"Don't you get it? You would have only played into Sidious' hands! He's been waiting for this."

"I don't understand! Why all this subterfuge and plotting? If he's had the means to destroy us this entire time, then why wait?"

"He needs this conflict to happen first. He'll make it as bloody as he can with more weapons and ammunition than you can possibly imagine. The sheer scale of death that follows will be unspeakable and the Jedi will be at the forefront of it all! They will take the blame. By the time the Purge happens, it will be welcomed because the entire galaxy will hate them!"

"Like you hate them?"

"I don't hate the Jedi, Obi-Wan," I sigh, shoulders stooped forward wearily, "But I'm not like you, Obi-Wan. I don't see them as being infallible. I never have."

"You think I am blind to the shortcomings of the Order?"

He sounds so affronted by the accusation that I blink at him incredulously. "Have you ever given me reason to think otherwise?"

"I never claimed that the Jedi are perfect, Anakin. But there is honor in our code. Our beliefs can ground us. Guide us. Give us peace."

"I never found that to be the case," I mutter, deliberately ignoring the sorrow that accompanies that statement, "But you can relax, Obi-Wan. I have no intention of seeking the Order's destruction this time around. I only wish to be free of them. The Chancellor is your true enemy."

"You're saying that Palpatine uses this war to frame the Jedi as warmongers?"

"From the galaxy's perspective, this is an ancient conflict between the Jedi and the Sith and they are being forcibly dragged into the middle of it."

"I see." He strokes his beard, a gesture that he only does when he's deep in thought or anxious. "If we're being frank, I think we can both agree that is the general sentiment right now. There are many in the galaxy who do not trust the Jedi or their motives already. So, I ask again, why wait?"

"Because he doesn't have all his pieces in place yet. He's waiting for me." I can feel his glittering stare bore into me following that statement, sizing up the motivation behind it. "This isn't a show of arrogance, Obi-Wan. I'm stating a fact. What could be more delicious than using the Jedi's supposed 'chosen one' as an instrument of their destruction? Sidious knew the moment had come to strike because he sensed my journey towards the dark side had begun. The timing was right."

"What are you saying, Anakin?"

"This was the beginning of my fall. In my time, my mother did not survive her ordeal with the Tuskens. She died in my arms," I recount stiffly, "and I avenged her. I slaughtered that entire camp. No one was left alive, not even the women and children. I killed them all."

His revulsion is palpable when he states, "Revenge is not the Jedi way, Anakin."

I regard him with an unemotional stare. "Exactly. Only a few people knew what I did, and Palpatine was one of them. I struggled with my feelings about it for the remainder of my life as Anakin Skywalker."

"And now? In this time?"

"I did what needed to be done, but my actions were not motivated by revenge. I feel no conflict over what happened."

"But you still killed them?" he surmises, slightly aghast.

"Not all of them, only those foolish enough to stand between me and my mother. I killed those without restraint." There is an inherent satisfaction in my reply, a complete lack of contrition and he senses it.

"How is that any different than before?" he argues, "You're still drawing upon dark power! It will only lead you to destruction!"

"Typical Jedi response. You fear what you don't understand."

"Are you hearing yourself? You appear to have learned nothing in these ensuing years!" he volleys back, "You're bound and determined to walk the exact same path!"

"What would you have me do instead, Obi-Wan?" I bite out sardonically, "Stand on the sidelines and wring my hands in dismay while I wait for the winds of justice to blow in our favor? Don't be a fool! We spent three years engaged in a bloody conflict we could not win because Sidious was puppeteering both sides! The only way we will defeat him is by going off script."

"Off script?"

"We cannot behave in a manner that he expects. And picking off his loyalists one by one is a move he will not expect."

I'm amused when I think about just how infuriated my methodical former master will be when his carefully constructed schemes begin to unravel. I know very well how efficient he can be when it comes to planning for contingencies, but even he, in all his elaborate conniving, isn't prepared to lose his game pieces before the proper time. Good. Better that he be the one off-balance for once rather than shaking the existence of everyone who surrounds him instead.

"What if you're wrong?" Obi-Wan challenges, "What if you only succeed in provoking him to earlier action? What if you're playing right into his hands? He was able to manipulate you over to his side before!"

"Only because he used my love for Padme', my fear of losing her against me," I reply, "That's not a concern this time around."

"Because suddenly you don't love her anymore?" Obi-Wan snorts derisively.

"Because we will never be together."

The unwavering resolve in my words causes him to go completely still. "You've truly renounced your attachment to her then?"

He stares at me in utter shock, and I am suddenly beyond irritated that he seems to be struggling with the idea. He spent years warning me to be "mindful of my feelings," cautioning me against allowing my attachment to Padme' to deepen. He never approved of my feelings for her and was always quick to remind me of the commitment I had made to the Jedi order, how that commitment should supersede everything else. So now when I've finally done the thing that he's harped on for most of my life, he has the nerve to act astonished! It makes me want to punch him in the face and I tell him so.

"Now, Anakin, there's no need for violence," he chides.

"I don't understand you, Obi-Wan!" I grit, surging to my feet in a burst of frustration, "You tell me for years that I can't love her! You don't want me to love her and then, when I finally do what you ask, you look at me like I've sprouted montrals! Make up your mind!"

"Calm yourself."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I snap, stabbing my finger at him in accusation, "I'm sick to death of being told to calm down!"

"Anakin, you're becoming emotional."

"Well, excuse me for being human then!"

He rolls to his feet with a heavy sigh, his shoulders hunched. For the first time, I take note of how tired he looks, how defeated. "I am not judging you, Anakin," he murmurs, "I simply know what this has cost you…how happy she makes you…"

I shake my head in denial, unable to acknowledge the full onslaught of anguish I feel right then because I know it will tear me apart. So, I take refuge in a mask of apathy instead. "She was just a greater part of Palpatine's schemes. He engineered our falling in love and then he used that love to manipulate me. It was all a game to him." But not to me. "I won't allow that to happen a second time."

"You're saying that he's behind the attempts that have been made on her life then?"

"Yes. Jango Fett was hired by Count Dooku and Count Dooku is apprenticed to Darth Sidious. It all comes back to him."

"And the clone army that will ultimately prove to be our downfall…" Obi-Wan concludes darkly, "…that is his doing as well?"

"The clones aren't your enemy, Obi-Wan. They have no idea that Sidious will eventually use them to wipe out the entire Jedi Order! They're as much a victim to Sidious' schemes as the rest of the Galaxy. What you need to do is deactivate their chips!"

"You just revealed to me only a short while ago that they're responsible for the complete annihilation of the Jedi Order and were still purging us right up until your original timeline! That sounds very much like an enemy!"

"Who do you think led that purging? And yet, we're still talking, aren't we?"

"That's different. Anakin, I look at you now and I don't see the monster you're describing at all. I see my padawan. I see the boy I've raised. I cannot fathom that this will be your future…our future."

"It doesn't have to be," I tell him, ironically parroting back to him the same exact words Padme' had said to me hours earlier, "We can beat Sidious at his own game."

"We cannot act on our own in this," he determines, "The Council must be informed."

"Oh yes, let us not make a single move without first obtaining the blessing of the sacred Jedi High Council," I scoff.

"Anakin, I realize that you don't hold the Council in the highest regard, but-,"

"—with good reason-,"

"—but even you can't deny that they must be briefed in all of this!"

"And what makes you think that they'll believe me?"

"I believe you," he emphasizes with a pointed glance.

"You don't count," I grunt, "You love me." I watch him grow flustered following that frank pronouncement as he vacillates between outright denial and justification. "Come now, Obi-Wan. I think we're past the point of maintaining pretense between us, don't you?"

"Attachment is not the Jedi way," he recites. But the tacit denial is weak. He knows it and so do I.

"And yet, attachment is what kept you from finishing me off on Mustafar when you should have," I tell him, "And attachment is what compelled you to spare my life again when we dueled for a second time even after I repeatedly tried to kill you! I don't believe for one second that you hesitated out of some misplaced Jedi ideal. You did it because you love me. You told me so yourself.

"Granted it was while I was burning alive right in front of you," I add in acerbic afterthought, "but you did say the words."

He pales at the mental image my description evokes. "That sounds like a perfectly ghastly day."

"That's one way to put it."

We exchange an awkward glance before Obi-Wan says, "Since you evidently have all the answers, what happens next?"

"We take Padme' back to Coruscant and, I suppose, brief the Council as you've proposed."

"You mustn't sound so thrilled about it," he teases me with mild sarcasm.

"Oh, I'm not thrilled at all. But at least I will have the opportunity to officially resign from the Jedi Order and free myself from them once and for all."

"Are you certain that is the wisest course, Anakin?" Obi-Wan cautions, "I know the thought of remaining galls you, but if you leave the Order now that will only serve to make your more vulnerable to the Chancellor and his machinations."

"Do you really expect that the Council won't expel me after they learn everything that I've done?"

"You've done nothing," he reminds me, "The future you're describing hasn't happened yet, isn't even conceivable…at least from my perspective."

"That hardly matters. It doesn't change what I've become, Obi-Wan."

It's clear that he wants to debate with me, to quibble over fine details. Because, from his point of view, I'm little more than a child, a nineteen-year-old boy who is only just beginning to embark on his journey towards manhood. He can't reconcile my guileless, outward appearance with the man I truly am inside and reasonably, he resists accepting that reality. But it is also clear that he knows that he won't win any argument with me. And so, in the end, he doesn't even try.

"We'll leave in the morning then?"

"Yes," I agree, my next words to him clipped with determination, "The sooner we get this over with, the better."