General Hammond was not a happy bunny. Apophis' "presents" had rendered
the Cheyenne Mountain Complex a death trap. The poisoned soup had just
been the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
Apophis had tampered with the thermostat in the locker room, and the showers were unusable. The water was either scalding hot or freezing. Not that it made much difference as the human body cannot differentiate between severe heat and severe cold. Speaking of severe cold, Apophis had done something to the air conditioning using only a pocket knife, some chewing gum and a condom which meant it was permanently minus twenty degrees Celsius anywhere in the base. Which is why everyone looked like they were on a camping holiday to Antarctica. (Apophis was very resourceful, it had to be admitted. If he weren't a Goa'uld, or exceedingly evil, he would probably belong to one of the less savoury government organisations.)
A group of marines had been confined to the infirmary, after discovering that Apophis had found some pretty nasty chemicals in the infirmary, and had decided to place said irritants into the underwear of said marines. Their manhood was extremely sore and, in fact, shrinking. They were not amused.
One airman had been killed thus far. He had gone to storage and picked up a crate of grenades. One of Apophis' hobbies had, apparently, been pulling the pins out of grenades and putting them back where he had found them. The airman had been blown to bits. A passing member of SG5 had barely escaped with his life as he was walking past at the time of the explosion. Unfortunately, his arm was never found.
General Hammond had also been at the brunt of Apophis' sadistic games. Apophis had left the General with a cracked coccyx. (I.e. a sore butt.) Said General's chair had had all of the screws removed meaning that the fore mentioned fell ass over head when the chair collapsed, leaving some rather nice modern art.
A rather out of breath airman then came running into Hammond's office as quickly as was possible when you are wrapped up like a sausage roll. "Sir, they've found him."
"Where,"
A murmured reply came Hammond's way and then, realising what had just been said stood up and shouted: - "How the hell did he get that far so quickly?"
Apophis had tampered with the thermostat in the locker room, and the showers were unusable. The water was either scalding hot or freezing. Not that it made much difference as the human body cannot differentiate between severe heat and severe cold. Speaking of severe cold, Apophis had done something to the air conditioning using only a pocket knife, some chewing gum and a condom which meant it was permanently minus twenty degrees Celsius anywhere in the base. Which is why everyone looked like they were on a camping holiday to Antarctica. (Apophis was very resourceful, it had to be admitted. If he weren't a Goa'uld, or exceedingly evil, he would probably belong to one of the less savoury government organisations.)
A group of marines had been confined to the infirmary, after discovering that Apophis had found some pretty nasty chemicals in the infirmary, and had decided to place said irritants into the underwear of said marines. Their manhood was extremely sore and, in fact, shrinking. They were not amused.
One airman had been killed thus far. He had gone to storage and picked up a crate of grenades. One of Apophis' hobbies had, apparently, been pulling the pins out of grenades and putting them back where he had found them. The airman had been blown to bits. A passing member of SG5 had barely escaped with his life as he was walking past at the time of the explosion. Unfortunately, his arm was never found.
General Hammond had also been at the brunt of Apophis' sadistic games. Apophis had left the General with a cracked coccyx. (I.e. a sore butt.) Said General's chair had had all of the screws removed meaning that the fore mentioned fell ass over head when the chair collapsed, leaving some rather nice modern art.
A rather out of breath airman then came running into Hammond's office as quickly as was possible when you are wrapped up like a sausage roll. "Sir, they've found him."
"Where,"
A murmured reply came Hammond's way and then, realising what had just been said stood up and shouted: - "How the hell did he get that far so quickly?"