Disclaimer- Ummm, I have to ask, doesn't the necessity of this word negate any explanation?


Confusion set in when she woke up. She raised her head and looked around, thinking she was still in her room, not remembering she was sitting in Christian's garret.

A low groan caught her attention and her eyes locked on Christian. Her memory of the last night flooded back as she noticed bewilderment in his sleep fogged eyes.

Oh. Hi, he managed eventually.

she replied, wanted so much for him to reach over and kiss her like he always did in the mornings, but knowing that it wasn't going to happen.

I saw you last night didn't I?

Satine nodded, hoping that this was a good sign. Her heart constricted painfully as he continued to stare at her with the barest hint of recognition in his eyes.

I get the feeling I've seen you before. Before last night, I mean.

Satine had to bite her lip to stop from telling him their story; the doctor had warned them all not to tell him too much at once.



The word broke in upon her and shone like a beacon.

You sing. In a show.

Yes, I have a very good role. It was written... quite recently.

Christian's eyes narrowed in concentration.

he muttered. No, India. Yes, India, it's set in India.

He carried on muttering to himself, unaware of Satine's growing excitement.

He's remembering,' she was telling herself, drinking in every word Christian uttered. But suddenly he stopped mumbling and Satine realised he was glaring at her with a deep, blazing anger in his usually gentle eyes.

C... Christian?

he yelled, making Toulouse jump out of his sleep. Why can't I remember any more of you? I can see your face! What is it I can't remember? What aren't you telling me?

He raged on as Satine and Toulouse shrank back against the wall. A loud hammering heralded the arrival of the doctor and a crash made Christian spin round. The doctor, together with Satie and the Argentinean had broken the feeble catch on the door and now all three rushed in.

Tell me, Christian begged, his earlier rage spent. Please tell me.

His words died off in a whisper as the doctor pushed down the plunger of the syringe he had jabbed in to Christian's arm. After assuring himself the powerful sedative had taken hold, he enlisted the help of Satie and the Argentinean in moving Christian to the bed, then turned to Satine.

What happened?

I... don't know, she muttering mummered quietly, afraid of disturbing Christian. He just started yelling all of a sudden.
The doctor gave her a hard look.

Mademoiselle Satine, I think you are proving a great stimulation to his memory. However you may be pushing too far too fast. I would recommend you try to limit the contact you have with him.
Her face fell and Toulouse grabbed her hand.

Do not wowy Satine. I pwomise I wiwl bwing him to see you evwy time I can.
She smiled down at him, even as tears coursed down her cheeks.

We'wl get him back Satine. You know how much deepwy he cawes for us awl, he won't weave us.
* * *

The weather has never seemed so appropriate before,' Satine reflected. Her blue eyes glistened as she watched the rain drops fall. The thick grey clouds hung low over the world and each blast of the icy wind seemed to blow right through the window and chill her heart.

Christian, her Christian, had yelled so angrily at her. Even during the play, even after she had broken his heart with her words, he hadn't seriously sounded angry. Even as he was shouting at her to let him pay, she had only heard confusion in his voice.

But it wasn't really him,' she told herself. He doesn't have any memory of me. Of course he was upset.'
But her attempt to console herself was unsuccessful. A figure momentarily blocked her view inside Christian's garret. She looked carefully and saw it was Christian who was in the window.

A ragged sob was torn from her throat and she forced herself to look away, to close the curtains. Slowly, unwillingly, she crossed the room and sat on the bed.

The memory of herself throwing Christian on to the bed flashed in to her mind. His shocked and confused face swam clearly in to her view and a giggle escaped her.

The memories washed over her and she let them. She wrapped herself in them, hid herself from reality behind the figures of the past. The wall she had built to house her worry and exhaustion finally broke and she let her body collapse on to the mattress.

Christian should be with me.'

That was her final though before sleep claimed her and she fell once again in to the lonely embrace of solitude's empty arms.
* * *


For the next week that's how it was. Nini did her utmost to stop Christian from seeing Satine and whenever she was in the same room as him, Nini quickly spirited him away.
What was is all for? Satine cried to Harold one evening. I did this for him, and now I'll never have him back!

Harold said nothing, just held her as her sobs became uncontrollable.
You will get him back pumpkin, he whispered when she had calmed down. I'm sure you two were meant to be together, and you will get him back.

But how, Satine asked, confused. He doesn't remember me, and Nini will see to it he won't. Harold was silent for a moment, then looked down at her with a grin.

Maybe he'll remember if we show him what happened. Come what may pigeon the show must go on.
Satine looked at him blankly for a few seconds, and then a smile lit up her face.

Oh Harold! she yelled kissing him lightly on the cheek. That's a fantastic idea! She ran from the room to tell everyone what they were going to do and Harold watched her go with a smile on her face.

Creatures of the underworld can't afford to love, he muttered, but sometimes, just sometimes, they'll be someone who is willing to pay the price.
* * *