The Fellowship was all sleeping peacefully when Gandalf got back the next morning. And the walk down had definitely not improved his temper.
"GET UP!!! ALL OF YOU LAZY BUMS!!!!"
Aragorn and Boromir, the trained warriors, jumped up immediately and drew their swords, but than relaxed when they realized it was only Gandalf.
The hobbits did a mixture of groaning, crawling out of their sleeping bags with a glazed look on their faces, and staying put because they slept like a log. (This last one was Merry.)
Gimli shot up into a sitting position saying, "What, what?!"
And Legolas...well with his elf hearing he had known Gandalf was coming and hour ago and he was already up and spraying about a billion gallons of hair spray in his hair. "I just know I'm going to get snow in it."
But if anyone looked really terrible it was Gandalf.
He had soot on him from the fireworks the previous night, his beard was slightly singed, his pointy hat was crumpled, and there was duct tape keeping his staff together because he's broken it in frustration.
After looking the wizard over from head to toe, Aragorn and Boromir decided to keep their swords drawn just in case Gandalf decided to murder them.
But Gandalf strode right past the 2 swords (and their human owners) and proceeded to kick Sam's pots and pans all around the campsite while once again muttering the black speech.
This time it made the elf vomit...although no one bothered to tell him that he some of it got in his hair. Legolas' hair still looked better than anyone else's did.
While Legolas retched up the previous day's dinner and Aragorn and Boromir stood there with their swords drawn completely dumbfounded, Frodo, Merry, Pippin and Gimli started packing up the campsite.
Sam chased after his pots and pans while shaking his head at Gandalf.
"He's losing his mind!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The rest of the Fellowship managed to keep it together the rest of the afternoon for Gandalf's sake. Despite the fact that they were completely annoying each other all day. This little truce only lasted until Saruman woke up from his three-day nap and sent a blizzard on them.
Evil wizard!
Aragorn's temper completely snapped when Legolas walked on top of the snow right past him. Dropping Frodo and Sam in the snow, Aragorn grabbed Legolas by his pretty blonde hair and flung him over the edge of the mountain.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" THUNK!!!!
"Hey! That was completely unnecessary!" Legolas yelled back.
Gandalf suddenly screamed a very vile blasphemy in the black speech that got the whole Fellowship's attention.
"Aragorn you threw him off the mountain, now you can go get him!"
Aragorn shrugged, drew up his cape in a cool fashion, and jumped off the side of the mountain after the elf. Apparently the cape was also a glider.
Pippin giggled and pointed at the gliding human form.
"I want one of those!"
Gandalf stomped by the rest of the Fellowship heading back the way they had come.
"Stupid elves...always fiddling with their hair...stupid humans...always being so prideful...stupid hobbits...stupid dwarf...stupid ring...stupid Elrond for letting me go...stupid eye in the sky for causing all this...stupid ring...STUPID QUEST AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Merry and Pippin had pushed Gandalf from behind which caused Gandalf to step on his own beard, trip, and go rolling down the mountain.
They tried. They really did.
But the sight of the wizard rolling down the hill like Merry and Pippin had done the previous day was too much and soon Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Gimli and Boromir were laughing their heads off despite the fact that wind and snow was still blowing in their faces.
"Well I guess we have to go back down," Boromir replied shrugging. He unhooked his shield from his back and set it down on the snow in order to sled down the hill...I mean mountain.
He started to sit down on his shield when Merry and Pippin both yelled "Cool" at the same time and then Pippin jumped in Boromir's lap and Merry jumped on the man's shoulders and all three of them proceeded to sled down the hill.
However, the shield started spinning in circles as they sped down the hill and their screams of delight soon turned into screams of terror.
While all that had been going on, Gimli had started digging his way down the mountain and Sam had jumped on Bill the pony's back and rode down the mountain.
This left poor Frodo still half buried in a snow bank and quite alone.
Although Frodo wasn't concerned. He expected this behavior from this bunch of people who had no idea what they were doing.
So, being a hobbit, he started to tunnel his way through the snow bank. Hobbits are hole-dwellers after all.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
About 5 hours later...
It would have looked very stupid to any other observer to see a bump in the snow making a tunneling path toward the other members of the Fellowship, but they weren't in any condition to care.
The bump suddenly came right up close to the Fellowship and Frodo popped out of the snow embankment. "Well, I'm finally here."
"Mr. Frodo! Are you alright?" Sam squeaked running up to Frodo.
If anyone else cared they gave no indication.
Gandalf was once again fuming, Legolas and Gimli had their backs to each other and were pouting, Aragorn was smoking his pipe and Boromir, Merry and Pippin were sitting off to the side looking a little green.
Gandalf suddenly stood up. "Well now that the 'ring bearer' is here we can get going," he turned and glared at Gimli. "And you get your way Gimli. We seem to have been forced into taking the path through Moria."
Gimli seemed to brighten at this news, but Legolas just got even more pissed off.
"What?! Now I have to follow this demented company through Moria! Today I have already been thrown off a mountain, landed on by a gliding ranger, mowed down by a wizard in the form of a snowball, poked in the butt by the dwarf's helmet as he tunneled out of the ground, trampled by a crazed hobbit on a pony and thrown up on 3 times, I'm not going anywhere!!!!"
Legolas than crossed his arms, sat down once again and continued to pout.
Gandalf looked like he was about to start cursing Legolas in every foul language known in Middle Earth, and so Frodo decided to do something.
Surprising everyone, the little hobbit suddenly slipped on the ring and disappeared.
However, he reappeared soon enough and yelled:
"RUN YOU DICKS!!!!"
"Why?" they all chorused as one.
"I JUST POKED THE EYE," Frodo yelled and started running towards the gates of Moria.
"WHAT?!!!!" everyone yelled in reply. But they didn't ask any questions, and they proceeded to get their rears in gear and outta there.
They were all almost at the gates of Moria when Legolas suddenly yelled, "STOP!!!!!!!!"
Everyone stopped.
"Explain to me one thing!" Legolas said, flipping his hair in a snooty gesture,
"If Frodo poked the eye, WHY ARE WE ALL RUNNING TOWARDS MORDOR?!"
Everyone looked completely dumbfounded. Except Aragorn who slapped his forehead is disgust, Frodo who looked quite pleased with himself and Gandalf, who proceeded to strangle Legolas.
"YOU SILLY ELF!!! YOUR JUST THINKING OF THIS NOW!!!"
Legolas gasped and began making choking noises, "Get this mad, loony, excuse for a wizard off of me!"
So Aragorn, Boromir, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Gimli all dived at Gandalf and Legolas, and what resulted was the Fellowship's first official wrestling match.
They're still arguing to this day about who the winner is, but they do know at least 2 things for sure:
The losers were definitely Gandalf and Legolas' pretty hair.
"GET UP!!! ALL OF YOU LAZY BUMS!!!!"
Aragorn and Boromir, the trained warriors, jumped up immediately and drew their swords, but than relaxed when they realized it was only Gandalf.
The hobbits did a mixture of groaning, crawling out of their sleeping bags with a glazed look on their faces, and staying put because they slept like a log. (This last one was Merry.)
Gimli shot up into a sitting position saying, "What, what?!"
And Legolas...well with his elf hearing he had known Gandalf was coming and hour ago and he was already up and spraying about a billion gallons of hair spray in his hair. "I just know I'm going to get snow in it."
But if anyone looked really terrible it was Gandalf.
He had soot on him from the fireworks the previous night, his beard was slightly singed, his pointy hat was crumpled, and there was duct tape keeping his staff together because he's broken it in frustration.
After looking the wizard over from head to toe, Aragorn and Boromir decided to keep their swords drawn just in case Gandalf decided to murder them.
But Gandalf strode right past the 2 swords (and their human owners) and proceeded to kick Sam's pots and pans all around the campsite while once again muttering the black speech.
This time it made the elf vomit...although no one bothered to tell him that he some of it got in his hair. Legolas' hair still looked better than anyone else's did.
While Legolas retched up the previous day's dinner and Aragorn and Boromir stood there with their swords drawn completely dumbfounded, Frodo, Merry, Pippin and Gimli started packing up the campsite.
Sam chased after his pots and pans while shaking his head at Gandalf.
"He's losing his mind!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The rest of the Fellowship managed to keep it together the rest of the afternoon for Gandalf's sake. Despite the fact that they were completely annoying each other all day. This little truce only lasted until Saruman woke up from his three-day nap and sent a blizzard on them.
Evil wizard!
Aragorn's temper completely snapped when Legolas walked on top of the snow right past him. Dropping Frodo and Sam in the snow, Aragorn grabbed Legolas by his pretty blonde hair and flung him over the edge of the mountain.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" THUNK!!!!
"Hey! That was completely unnecessary!" Legolas yelled back.
Gandalf suddenly screamed a very vile blasphemy in the black speech that got the whole Fellowship's attention.
"Aragorn you threw him off the mountain, now you can go get him!"
Aragorn shrugged, drew up his cape in a cool fashion, and jumped off the side of the mountain after the elf. Apparently the cape was also a glider.
Pippin giggled and pointed at the gliding human form.
"I want one of those!"
Gandalf stomped by the rest of the Fellowship heading back the way they had come.
"Stupid elves...always fiddling with their hair...stupid humans...always being so prideful...stupid hobbits...stupid dwarf...stupid ring...stupid Elrond for letting me go...stupid eye in the sky for causing all this...stupid ring...STUPID QUEST AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Merry and Pippin had pushed Gandalf from behind which caused Gandalf to step on his own beard, trip, and go rolling down the mountain.
They tried. They really did.
But the sight of the wizard rolling down the hill like Merry and Pippin had done the previous day was too much and soon Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Gimli and Boromir were laughing their heads off despite the fact that wind and snow was still blowing in their faces.
"Well I guess we have to go back down," Boromir replied shrugging. He unhooked his shield from his back and set it down on the snow in order to sled down the hill...I mean mountain.
He started to sit down on his shield when Merry and Pippin both yelled "Cool" at the same time and then Pippin jumped in Boromir's lap and Merry jumped on the man's shoulders and all three of them proceeded to sled down the hill.
However, the shield started spinning in circles as they sped down the hill and their screams of delight soon turned into screams of terror.
While all that had been going on, Gimli had started digging his way down the mountain and Sam had jumped on Bill the pony's back and rode down the mountain.
This left poor Frodo still half buried in a snow bank and quite alone.
Although Frodo wasn't concerned. He expected this behavior from this bunch of people who had no idea what they were doing.
So, being a hobbit, he started to tunnel his way through the snow bank. Hobbits are hole-dwellers after all.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
About 5 hours later...
It would have looked very stupid to any other observer to see a bump in the snow making a tunneling path toward the other members of the Fellowship, but they weren't in any condition to care.
The bump suddenly came right up close to the Fellowship and Frodo popped out of the snow embankment. "Well, I'm finally here."
"Mr. Frodo! Are you alright?" Sam squeaked running up to Frodo.
If anyone else cared they gave no indication.
Gandalf was once again fuming, Legolas and Gimli had their backs to each other and were pouting, Aragorn was smoking his pipe and Boromir, Merry and Pippin were sitting off to the side looking a little green.
Gandalf suddenly stood up. "Well now that the 'ring bearer' is here we can get going," he turned and glared at Gimli. "And you get your way Gimli. We seem to have been forced into taking the path through Moria."
Gimli seemed to brighten at this news, but Legolas just got even more pissed off.
"What?! Now I have to follow this demented company through Moria! Today I have already been thrown off a mountain, landed on by a gliding ranger, mowed down by a wizard in the form of a snowball, poked in the butt by the dwarf's helmet as he tunneled out of the ground, trampled by a crazed hobbit on a pony and thrown up on 3 times, I'm not going anywhere!!!!"
Legolas than crossed his arms, sat down once again and continued to pout.
Gandalf looked like he was about to start cursing Legolas in every foul language known in Middle Earth, and so Frodo decided to do something.
Surprising everyone, the little hobbit suddenly slipped on the ring and disappeared.
However, he reappeared soon enough and yelled:
"RUN YOU DICKS!!!!"
"Why?" they all chorused as one.
"I JUST POKED THE EYE," Frodo yelled and started running towards the gates of Moria.
"WHAT?!!!!" everyone yelled in reply. But they didn't ask any questions, and they proceeded to get their rears in gear and outta there.
They were all almost at the gates of Moria when Legolas suddenly yelled, "STOP!!!!!!!!"
Everyone stopped.
"Explain to me one thing!" Legolas said, flipping his hair in a snooty gesture,
"If Frodo poked the eye, WHY ARE WE ALL RUNNING TOWARDS MORDOR?!"
Everyone looked completely dumbfounded. Except Aragorn who slapped his forehead is disgust, Frodo who looked quite pleased with himself and Gandalf, who proceeded to strangle Legolas.
"YOU SILLY ELF!!! YOUR JUST THINKING OF THIS NOW!!!"
Legolas gasped and began making choking noises, "Get this mad, loony, excuse for a wizard off of me!"
So Aragorn, Boromir, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Gimli all dived at Gandalf and Legolas, and what resulted was the Fellowship's first official wrestling match.
They're still arguing to this day about who the winner is, but they do know at least 2 things for sure:
The losers were definitely Gandalf and Legolas' pretty hair.