After a week of lethal glares, swords swinging at his head and arrows flying within inches of the rest of his person Legolas was starting to think making stupid comments to the others, mainly the 7 guys who were pregnant, was a bad idea.
Comments like, "Why are you complaining so much? It cant be that bad.
Women do it all the time."
That comment had nearly gotten him beheaded by Aragorns swinging sword and gelded by one of Haldirs erratically aimed arrows. Boromir had burst into tears and stomped away from him mumbling something about I can't believe the father of my child could be so insensitive and Frodo had forbidden Legolas from eating anymore of his jam. He was really going to miss that jam.
However, he'd probably be able to sneak some jam away from Frodo. After all, the hobbit did make quite a bit of it these days.
All of Lothlorien (when are they leaving Lothlorien anyway? I mean, they have homes don' they?) had a decent supply of jam. Except for Eomer, who had a different odd craving every day, and Pippin, who could only keep a couple bites of food down every day.
Of course Pippins plight wasn't helped out by the fact that Merry continued to eat a lot and drink a lot and all in front of Pippin!
In fact, every time Merry chugged down another pint of ale, Pippin would whimper, I really miss drinking.
In the meantime, Aragorn had gotten 14 more points for almost managing to do what millions of orcs, spiders and other forms of evil over several centuries had failed to do kill Legolas. Haldir had gotten 20 points for leaving Legolas alive but almost depriving him of…yeah, anyway…
Boromir got 9 points for somehow getting every female elf in Lorien to feel sorry for him with all his crying. Faramir got 12 for cleaning up the whole Golden Wood (and guilting everyone into keeping it clean) and
Eomer had gotten 10 points for having the oddest craving ever: Lembas with
horse-radish sauce and raisins. (Im suddenly feeling sick) Frodo, the meanie, had lost 45 points for not letting Legolas have anymore jam. That jam was REALLY GOOD.
Pippin had also gained about 50 points for managing to get Legolas out of a very awkward situation. After making an inappropriate comment at breakfast (something to do with all the pregnant men acting like a bunch of babies) Legolas had found himself facing several death glares, until Pippin had huge nausea attack and brought the attention away from Legolas. which had given him a chance to sneak away.
Gandalf had taken to hiding in a talan as far from the pregnant men as possible, telling only Gimli where it was so he didnt starve when he refused to get near the mommies-to-be…(wait a minute, their men…hmm…well, daddies-to-be doesn't really get the point across, so I'm gonna leave it)
If anyone wondered why Gandalf chose to tell Gimli where his talan was they didn't mention it. After all, Legolas was too busy trying to keep his head on his shoulders, and get Boromir to forgive him, and the others were busy with… mommy-to-be things.
Legolas still hadn't told anyone he wasn't feeling like himself, fearing what it would mean and if he didn't know better, he'd say his clothes, mainly his pants, were getting smaller around the waist and he'd had to borrow a pair of Haldir's, even though they were still a little big for him.
At the moment, Legolas was debating talking to Galadriel about his possible weight problem when he heard Boromir moan, "How am I going to return to Minas Tirith and tell my people I'm pregnant? How are they going to react?"
Legolas slid over and put an arm around Boromir to comfort him, "Don't worry, Boromir, it won't be too bad, well send out announcements an…"
"And send them from YOUR address, elf! In your name!" Boromir growled.
Legolas started to say something a couple times before settling for mumbling, "Think of it this way, Aragorn has to return as king and tell them he's pregnant. As his steward you can just say you're supporting his decision by making the same one."
While Boromir glared at Legolas, causing him to back away nervously, Aragorn groaned, "Ai Elbereth, how am I going to tell the people of Gondor I'M pregnant?"
Legolas thought a moment, "Easy. All you have to do is say you've got good news. Between yourself, Faramir and Boromir you've managed to ally Gondor with Rohan, Lorien and Mirkwood. AND you three have supplied heirs to the throne, the stewardship and the princedom of Ithilien. And, if it makes you feel better, Eomer has to explain to the people of Rohan that he's pregnant as well."
Legolas suddenly found himself the target of 4 deadly glares: Aragorn, Boromir, Faramir and Eomer.
Chuckling nervously he stammered, Uh…I just remembered…I promised the cook I'd help make Lembas. Bye."
At that he ran from the possible homicidal king of Gondor and his equally homicidal henchmen.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Legolas knocked on the door to Galadriel's personal beauty salon and waited for her to call him in. She turned to smile at him. "Can I help you Legolas?"
Legolas shifted uncomfortably and wouldn't quite meet Galadriel's gaze,
"Well…kinda…"
Tired of waiting for the hesitant prince to spit out his question, Galadriel decided to do her mind control…I mean mind reading thing, and said, "You worry about a weight problem young prince."
Legolas sighed, "Aye. I was wondering you…said the others were pregnant
right, but I was safe?"
Galadriel nodded. Legolas continued, still shuffling his feet and staring at the floor, "Then why am I growing out of my clothes so I'm forced to borrow from Haldir?"
Galadriel stood up and studied Legolas for a moment, "Come with me so I can have a healer examine you."
Legolas swallowed, "But what if he says I'm pregnant too?"
Galadriel really tried not to roll her eyes but she feared she failed miserably, "Well, Legolas, if you are, you are. Whether a healer says it or not."
Legolas gave an exaggerated sigh, "Alright. Let's go."
While Legolas stepped toward the door Galadriel stayed put a moment, shaking her head, "Kids these days."
Legolas looked back at her, "Well, c'mon! I haven't got all day."
"What do you have to do besides make more stupid comments to the others and risk getting yourself killed?"
Legolas pondered the Lady's words for a moment, "Well, I have to…no…I guess that's it."
While the 2 elves walked toward the healers Legolas sighed, "Well, one good thing to come if I am pregnant, Aragorn wouldn't try to kill me as often since he wouldn't want to harm an innocent child."
Galadriel patted him on the back comfortingly, "You just keep thinking on the bright side, young prince. That's always better then thinking of the negatives."
******************************************
"PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING!!!!"
"Look on the bright side, Galadriel said with a little grin, at least your not acting freaky like everyone else."
Legolas looked over at Galadriel with a why me look on his face, "You do realize that after all the comments I've been making the past few days that Aragorn, Boromir, Faramir, Eomer, Haldir, Frodo, and Pippin are never gonna let me hear the end of this."
"Probably not." Galadriel stated.
"At least you'll be able to look pretty the entire time." the healer stated.
It was the wrong thing to say.
"YEAH, BUT FOR HOW LONG?!" Legolas yelled.
"IM GONNA LOOK LIKE A FREAK!! ILL HAVE STRETCH MARKS, MY HAIR WILL BE A MESS…"
"LEGOLAS!" Galadriel interrupted.
Legolas looked at her as she started speaking in a normal voice.
"First of all, you're the only normal one (as normal as you can get) in this group and I don't need another basket case of hormones in Lothlorien. Second, you're pregnant. You're not dying."
Legolas growled under his breath. Then without warning, he stood up and started walking away.
"Where are you going?" Galadriel asked.
"I'm going to find Boromir so I can tell him were having twins."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Reply to reviews
Thank you to all who reviewed GR. We really apreciate it. We've indirectly revealed who the "fathers" are as far as the humans and elves go.
We will reveal the "fathers" of Frodo and Pippin's kids in time. As far as all of them going into labor at the same time...we'll take it into consideration.
Thanks again.
~Becky and Brina~
Comments like, "Why are you complaining so much? It cant be that bad.
Women do it all the time."
That comment had nearly gotten him beheaded by Aragorns swinging sword and gelded by one of Haldirs erratically aimed arrows. Boromir had burst into tears and stomped away from him mumbling something about I can't believe the father of my child could be so insensitive and Frodo had forbidden Legolas from eating anymore of his jam. He was really going to miss that jam.
However, he'd probably be able to sneak some jam away from Frodo. After all, the hobbit did make quite a bit of it these days.
All of Lothlorien (when are they leaving Lothlorien anyway? I mean, they have homes don' they?) had a decent supply of jam. Except for Eomer, who had a different odd craving every day, and Pippin, who could only keep a couple bites of food down every day.
Of course Pippins plight wasn't helped out by the fact that Merry continued to eat a lot and drink a lot and all in front of Pippin!
In fact, every time Merry chugged down another pint of ale, Pippin would whimper, I really miss drinking.
In the meantime, Aragorn had gotten 14 more points for almost managing to do what millions of orcs, spiders and other forms of evil over several centuries had failed to do kill Legolas. Haldir had gotten 20 points for leaving Legolas alive but almost depriving him of…yeah, anyway…
Boromir got 9 points for somehow getting every female elf in Lorien to feel sorry for him with all his crying. Faramir got 12 for cleaning up the whole Golden Wood (and guilting everyone into keeping it clean) and
Eomer had gotten 10 points for having the oddest craving ever: Lembas with
horse-radish sauce and raisins. (Im suddenly feeling sick) Frodo, the meanie, had lost 45 points for not letting Legolas have anymore jam. That jam was REALLY GOOD.
Pippin had also gained about 50 points for managing to get Legolas out of a very awkward situation. After making an inappropriate comment at breakfast (something to do with all the pregnant men acting like a bunch of babies) Legolas had found himself facing several death glares, until Pippin had huge nausea attack and brought the attention away from Legolas. which had given him a chance to sneak away.
Gandalf had taken to hiding in a talan as far from the pregnant men as possible, telling only Gimli where it was so he didnt starve when he refused to get near the mommies-to-be…(wait a minute, their men…hmm…well, daddies-to-be doesn't really get the point across, so I'm gonna leave it)
If anyone wondered why Gandalf chose to tell Gimli where his talan was they didn't mention it. After all, Legolas was too busy trying to keep his head on his shoulders, and get Boromir to forgive him, and the others were busy with… mommy-to-be things.
Legolas still hadn't told anyone he wasn't feeling like himself, fearing what it would mean and if he didn't know better, he'd say his clothes, mainly his pants, were getting smaller around the waist and he'd had to borrow a pair of Haldir's, even though they were still a little big for him.
At the moment, Legolas was debating talking to Galadriel about his possible weight problem when he heard Boromir moan, "How am I going to return to Minas Tirith and tell my people I'm pregnant? How are they going to react?"
Legolas slid over and put an arm around Boromir to comfort him, "Don't worry, Boromir, it won't be too bad, well send out announcements an…"
"And send them from YOUR address, elf! In your name!" Boromir growled.
Legolas started to say something a couple times before settling for mumbling, "Think of it this way, Aragorn has to return as king and tell them he's pregnant. As his steward you can just say you're supporting his decision by making the same one."
While Boromir glared at Legolas, causing him to back away nervously, Aragorn groaned, "Ai Elbereth, how am I going to tell the people of Gondor I'M pregnant?"
Legolas thought a moment, "Easy. All you have to do is say you've got good news. Between yourself, Faramir and Boromir you've managed to ally Gondor with Rohan, Lorien and Mirkwood. AND you three have supplied heirs to the throne, the stewardship and the princedom of Ithilien. And, if it makes you feel better, Eomer has to explain to the people of Rohan that he's pregnant as well."
Legolas suddenly found himself the target of 4 deadly glares: Aragorn, Boromir, Faramir and Eomer.
Chuckling nervously he stammered, Uh…I just remembered…I promised the cook I'd help make Lembas. Bye."
At that he ran from the possible homicidal king of Gondor and his equally homicidal henchmen.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Legolas knocked on the door to Galadriel's personal beauty salon and waited for her to call him in. She turned to smile at him. "Can I help you Legolas?"
Legolas shifted uncomfortably and wouldn't quite meet Galadriel's gaze,
"Well…kinda…"
Tired of waiting for the hesitant prince to spit out his question, Galadriel decided to do her mind control…I mean mind reading thing, and said, "You worry about a weight problem young prince."
Legolas sighed, "Aye. I was wondering you…said the others were pregnant
right, but I was safe?"
Galadriel nodded. Legolas continued, still shuffling his feet and staring at the floor, "Then why am I growing out of my clothes so I'm forced to borrow from Haldir?"
Galadriel stood up and studied Legolas for a moment, "Come with me so I can have a healer examine you."
Legolas swallowed, "But what if he says I'm pregnant too?"
Galadriel really tried not to roll her eyes but she feared she failed miserably, "Well, Legolas, if you are, you are. Whether a healer says it or not."
Legolas gave an exaggerated sigh, "Alright. Let's go."
While Legolas stepped toward the door Galadriel stayed put a moment, shaking her head, "Kids these days."
Legolas looked back at her, "Well, c'mon! I haven't got all day."
"What do you have to do besides make more stupid comments to the others and risk getting yourself killed?"
Legolas pondered the Lady's words for a moment, "Well, I have to…no…I guess that's it."
While the 2 elves walked toward the healers Legolas sighed, "Well, one good thing to come if I am pregnant, Aragorn wouldn't try to kill me as often since he wouldn't want to harm an innocent child."
Galadriel patted him on the back comfortingly, "You just keep thinking on the bright side, young prince. That's always better then thinking of the negatives."
******************************************
"PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING!!!!"
"Look on the bright side, Galadriel said with a little grin, at least your not acting freaky like everyone else."
Legolas looked over at Galadriel with a why me look on his face, "You do realize that after all the comments I've been making the past few days that Aragorn, Boromir, Faramir, Eomer, Haldir, Frodo, and Pippin are never gonna let me hear the end of this."
"Probably not." Galadriel stated.
"At least you'll be able to look pretty the entire time." the healer stated.
It was the wrong thing to say.
"YEAH, BUT FOR HOW LONG?!" Legolas yelled.
"IM GONNA LOOK LIKE A FREAK!! ILL HAVE STRETCH MARKS, MY HAIR WILL BE A MESS…"
"LEGOLAS!" Galadriel interrupted.
Legolas looked at her as she started speaking in a normal voice.
"First of all, you're the only normal one (as normal as you can get) in this group and I don't need another basket case of hormones in Lothlorien. Second, you're pregnant. You're not dying."
Legolas growled under his breath. Then without warning, he stood up and started walking away.
"Where are you going?" Galadriel asked.
"I'm going to find Boromir so I can tell him were having twins."
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Reply to reviews
Thank you to all who reviewed GR. We really apreciate it. We've indirectly revealed who the "fathers" are as far as the humans and elves go.
We will reveal the "fathers" of Frodo and Pippin's kids in time. As far as all of them going into labor at the same time...we'll take it into consideration.
Thanks again.
~Becky and Brina~