"Shut up! If we're going to sneak up on her without her noticing us we need to be silent," said the recognizable voice of one Legolas, prince of Mirkwood.
"Silent? Who cares about silence? She knows everything," replied the king of Gondor, "She'll know we're after her, silent or not."
"Then we need to be quick," Boromir said, "Catch her before she can run."
"Quick? Brother, we're seven months pregnant." Faramir disagreed, "A snail would move faster than us."
"He's got a point, you know," added the king of Rohan, "We waddle like a flock of ducks. They aren't exactly the quickest animals around."
"Oh, who cares about being silent or quick!" Haldir snapped, "Eomer's got his noose or whatever. We can stay here and he can catch her from here."
"I believe it's called a lasso." Pippin (for once not sick) corrected the March Warden.
"You do realize," Frodo piped up, "The longer we stand here arguing the more chance she has to get away."
The former ring-bearer suddenly found himself on the receiving end of six glares. Eomer, in the meantime, had taken a couple steps into the clearing where Galadriel kept her mirror. Dings and whistles could be heard as she continued to rack up pinball points.
In the next second she was jerked away from her game as a lasso settled around her and tightened, pinning her arms to her sides.
Galadriel hissed in fury as she spun to face her captor. Seeing the young king of Rohan she gave a screech worthy of the Nazgul and from that day forward the eight co-conspirators swore her eyes had been glowing an unholy red.
Moving as quickly as eight heavily pregnant men could (which was to say, not very fast) they trussed Galadriel up like a holiday turkey...I mean they hog-tied and gagged her...and headed for the hills...or at least the nearest flet (which, ironically, was hers). The fact that Celeborn would probably be there didn't even enter their minds. Nor did it dawn on them that Galadriel was telepathic and could call for help that way so the gag was fairly useless.
Amazingly, the possibility of mentally calling for help didn't dawn on Galadriel either.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The memory of giving Galadriel the truth potion would give the co-conspirators nightmares for the rest of their lives. Suffice it to say it involved screeching from her that almost made their ears bleed and damn near summoned the Nazgul back from wherever they'd gone after the destruction of the ring. And not a single one of them had escaped her claws of death (finger nails). To make a long story short...she greatly resembled Smaug, who had been killed several decades early, or more accurately, Gothmog, who had been killed several millennia earlier. In other words...she was VERY scary.
Anyway, it took six of them to hold her still while they pinned her to the ground. Boromir and Faramir each held one of her legs so she couldn't kick. Aragorn and Eomer held one arm (after narrowly missing getting their eyes clawed out). Pippin sat on her stomach while Haldir held her head still. Legolas pried her mouth open so Frodo could pour in the potion before plugging her nose while Legolas held her mouth shut. Left with only two choices (swallow or suffocate) Galadriel chose breathing and swallowed.
After that it was a fairly short wait before the potion started taking affect and she went limp on her own. Heaving relieved sighs the four men, two elves and two hobbits relaxed and let Galadriel go, slumping off to the side in a little pile to rest for a bit after the harrowing experience of drugging the Lady of the Wood, most feared elf-witch in all the ages of the world, past and future.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
By this time Galadriel had been missing for several hours and all of Lothlorien was in an uproar as March Wardens frantically searched for their lady. Surprisingly, the only one not panicking was Celeborn since he was nowhere to be found either, having disappeared sometime in the last few days on a 'camping trip' with Thranduil, unbeknownst to anyone who really mattered. Elrond was suspiciously absent as well, not that it would have mattered considering the only person who scared him more than his currently homicidal foster son, Estel, was Galadriel, so he would have been too busy celebrating the lady's disappearance to be of any help finding her.
It didn't seem to occur to anyone to check her flet since that was the most obvious place and most of the Lorien elves were blond (meaning no offense to blond people with this comment as I know several who are very smart, I'm just taking advantage of the universal 'dumb blonde' jokes) so they weren't the most intelligent of Middle Earth's races. Now if they had been in Rivendell, where the majority of the elves were dark haired, they might have checked the lady's place of residence if Elrond could put his fear of her aside, but (faced with a homicidal Aragorn, a bitchy Haldir, a crying Boromir, a constantly sick Pippin, a jam obsessed Frodo, Eomer, whose taste in food lately was enough to make an orc sick, and Faramir the Wonder Maid) that was a possibility considering that them as a combination was enough to scare all the forces of evil that had ever inhabited the dark places of the world to death.
(Maybe Gandalf should have used the male pregnancy potion sooner. Perhaps the War of the Ring would have went an entirely different way then if eight pregnant men had made up the Fellowship, especially since five of those eight had been in the regular Fellowship and had succeeded without being pregnant. So who's to say that it wouldn't have been easier if they had been pregnant and scared Sauron so bad he destroyed the ring himself in a desperate attempt to get away from them?)
Also, nobody seemed to care that said pregnant males had seemed to disappear as well (which was something to worry about considering none of them knew how they would deliver their children without help and wouldn't even consider leaving Lorien willingly even had they been ten sheets to the wind on the most potent ale in all Arda). So any fool would have come to the conclusion that they might have had something to do with the lady's disappearance, especially considering they had not been very secretive about their plan to use the truth potion on her and had recently taken a poll on what questions they should ask her while she was under the influence of said truth potion. But, as we've already pointed out, Lorien wasn't a place of very much common sense.
So, the whole point of this little story is...the co-conspirators were completely free to interrogate Galadriel to their hearts' content without the risk of being interrupted since everyone in Lothlorien was currently running around like the proverbial chicken with it's head cut off. It was really quite amusing to see. You really should have been there.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Galadriel came to woozy, tied to a chair and surrounded by eight pregnant males. She should have been angry but instead her lips quirked up in a grin, "Am I invited to a party?"
The men all looked at each other nervously. "Um...well not exactly." Legolas stammered.
"How did I do on my pinball game?" Galadriel asked.
The men all looked at each other once again. Truthfully, none of them had bothered to look at the screen before Pippin had become ill once again and vomited all over it.
"Um...you da man." Aragorn said, giving Galadriel a thumbs up.
"Woman." Boromir corrected.
"Elf." Legolas added.
"Oh." Galadriel said with a somewhat loopy smile, "Good. So, what were we doing?"
"Well..." Frodo started, "We were...I mean you were..."
"Stripping for us." Aragorn said suddenly, cutting the hobbit off.
All seven other guys waited in tense silence for Galadriel's response. Aragorn merely stood with his crossed arms propped on top of his swollen belly, one brow cocked.
Galadriel looked down at the rope tied around her upper body. Looking back up at Aragorn she tilted her head to the side, "I can't do that if I'm tied to a chair."
Eight jaws hit the floor (well...not literally) as those words sank in and the guys all looked at each other, all thinking the same thing. 'No way! She's actually going to do it?!' Slowly they all began to grin evilly. Chuckling just as evilly Haldir stepped forward and started to untie Galadriel.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
After Galadriel's little...show...the guys got down to questioning her. Problem was, they couldn't remember what they'd all planned to ask her so they just decided to ask about her potions. It wasn't too bad really, after all, they didn't need to know her deepest secrets anymore. They had something better to hold over her head now.
She'd stripped for them. The almighty Galadriel, most feared elf-witch in Middle Earth had taken off her clothes for eight pregnant (well, they would leave that little fact out) men.
Life was good.
Anyway, on to the questions. The first one to ask something was Aragorn.
"You have that potion to make wizards less eccentric," he started, "Why didn't you use it on Gandalf?"
"Gandalf?" Galadriel asked, "Gandalf. Gandalf. Oh, I remember him. Elderly chap. Big gray beard. Pointy hat. Oh, wait...he's white now isn't he? Well...no matter. I did use it on him. You should have seen him before."
"How much worse could he get?" Haldir mumbled.
"He wore dreadlocks and a pink tutu." Galadriel replied, totally serious, "And neon orange tap shoes and royal purple tights and..."
"Stop! Please!" Pippin moaned, clutching his stomach, "No more. Just the thought makes me sick. Ask another question."
"Why didn't you use the potion again?" Frodo asked, grimacing at the picture of Gandalf that Galadriel had just painted for all of them.
"Using it a second time would just reverse the results and he'd go back to the way he was...if not worse." Galadriel replied with a giggle, "That would be cool. I should do it."
"NO!!!!!!!!!"
Galadriel blinked at the chorus of eight voices shouting in a panic. After a moment she released another giggle, "Okay."
The guys all heaved collective sighs of relief and Eomer quickly distracted Galadriel from that line of though by asking, "Why did you make a male pregnancy potion in the first place, much less use it?"
Galadriel scowled, "To punish Thranduil for seducing my husband. That damn pretty blond elf always wanted what was mine." She suddenly turned a glare on Legolas, "And you got his beauty. Stupid elf."
Legolas cocked a brow. Stupid elf? Did she mean him or his...father? Mother? What exactly would Thranduil be considering he'd carried Legolas and his recently found twin, Haldir?
As Legolas considered that Faramir winced and asked, "Who did you use the neutering potion on?"
Galadriel thought a moment, "I don't think I ever used that one."
"Then why did you make it and how do you know it works?" Boromir asked.
"Come to think of it." Galadriel said, not paying attention to Boromir, "I did use it. Grima's so ugly I figured, well, it would be a gift to society."
"Yeah!" Eomer said in a 'well duh' tone, "But the warning said it was temporary."
"Not the original batch I gave to Grima. After that I ran out of Blood of a Wraith. Very hard to get that. That's what makes it permanent." At that Galadriel sighed, "It's a pity too. I sooooo wanted to use it on Saruman."
The eight guys rolled their eyes, mouthing, 'Okay.'
"What about that temporary size reduction of..." Legolas paused, "You know. Who'd you use that one?"
Galadriel's gaze went 200 degrees cooler, "My low down, two timing husband. His excuse for sleeping with Thranduil was he's prettier than me. That...that...two bit king! Prettier than me! ME!!!"
As Galadriel's eyes began to glow red again the guys stepped back. Eomer, Aragorn, Boromir, Faramir, Haldir, Frodo and Pippin all glared at Legolas, silently chiding him for reminding Galadriel about her husband's infidelity. Legolas shrugged as if to say, 'Well, sorry.'
To once again change the direction of Galadriel's thoughts Aragorn, thinking quickly, asked, "Did you use that insanity potion on Elrond?"
Galadriel's mood changed in a split second and she broke into uncontrolable giggles, "Yes. How else was I supposed to get him to marry Celebrian? He wouldn't believe she was pregnant (he has foresight, you know) and, truth be told, she was kind of a bitch. Got that from her father, she did. Glorfindel always was a bastard."
"Gl...Glorfindel?" Aragorn asked, shocked.
"Hmm...oops." Galadriel said, "No one was supposed to know that."
"I always thought Glorfindel was nice." Legolas said.
"Figures." Galadriel grumped, "All you men stick together!"
The eight guys looked at each other, at their pregnant bellies, then shrugged and chorused, "Well, okay, yeah."
Before anymore questions could be asked the door to the flet burst open and Gandalf cleared his throat, "What is going on in here?"
In the span of one heart beat things went wonky. Boromir burst into guilty tears at being caught in the act of holding Galadriel hostage. Haldir gave a snooty huff and turned his back on Gandalf. Eomer sighed and waddled out mumbling something about chocolate covered lembas dipped in mustard (Ick!). Pippin threw up on Gandalf's pretty white robes. Aragorn, suddenly remembering his personal glow to kill the wizard responsible for him being pregnant by Eomer, grabbed Legolas' twin fighting knives and waddled after a smartly fleeing Gandalf growling, "Die, wizard, die!" Faramir waddled after Aragorn warning the older man that he 'better not mess up my nice clean forest or you'll be in for it'. Frodo stood up and waddled out saying, "I'm gonna go make some jam."
And through it all Legolas merely rolled his eyes and sighed, "I'm surrounded by idiots."
Galadriel seemed to find that hilarious and burst into giggles. Legolas shook his head and waddled out saying, "Just shut, up you old biddy."
Galadriel giggled louder.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
2 months later...
"Galadriel! When are they gonna..."
"I DON'T KNOW!!! QUIT PESTERING ME!"
It was a common phrase to overhear in Lorien as the eight men (don't wanna type out their names) entered their last month. (For simplicity's sake we decide to have everyone, elves included, just carry for nine months)
Frodo had created a mountain of jam jars, Eomer and Pippin were making everyone sick, no one wanted to go near Aragorn or Haldir. Boromir had used up like fifty billion tissue boxes with all his crying, Legolas' complete calm was unnerving and Faramir started screeching like a ringwraith at anyone who dropped even a hint of dirt on his gleaming floors.
In short, all the elves of Lorien were ready to tear the hair out of their dumb blond heads.
"No!!!! Don't walk there! Wipe your feet first! If you spill that ale you're wiping it up!"
Galadriel groaned as she heard Faramir's voice suddenly break the silence of the morning.
"Faramir," she said sweetly, perfectly aware that she was walking on eggshell, "Why don't you take a break. Someone in your condition shouldn't be..."
"No, no! If I take a break this place will get dirty again! I mustn't..."
Faramir suddenly cut off and glanced down at the floor. Galadriel's eyes followed his gaze. There was a small puddle around Faramir's feet. His water had broken.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Replies to reviews...
Landos Star: You are partly right. We did have Legolas tell Boromir they were having twins. But we meant that the baby Boromir carried and the baby Legolas carried would, in a way, be twins since they have the same...parents and would be born about the same time.
Since there were no more questions we'll just say thanks for hanging on this long. Only one more chapter to go.
Thanks again.
~Becky and Brina~
"Silent? Who cares about silence? She knows everything," replied the king of Gondor, "She'll know we're after her, silent or not."
"Then we need to be quick," Boromir said, "Catch her before she can run."
"Quick? Brother, we're seven months pregnant." Faramir disagreed, "A snail would move faster than us."
"He's got a point, you know," added the king of Rohan, "We waddle like a flock of ducks. They aren't exactly the quickest animals around."
"Oh, who cares about being silent or quick!" Haldir snapped, "Eomer's got his noose or whatever. We can stay here and he can catch her from here."
"I believe it's called a lasso." Pippin (for once not sick) corrected the March Warden.
"You do realize," Frodo piped up, "The longer we stand here arguing the more chance she has to get away."
The former ring-bearer suddenly found himself on the receiving end of six glares. Eomer, in the meantime, had taken a couple steps into the clearing where Galadriel kept her mirror. Dings and whistles could be heard as she continued to rack up pinball points.
In the next second she was jerked away from her game as a lasso settled around her and tightened, pinning her arms to her sides.
Galadriel hissed in fury as she spun to face her captor. Seeing the young king of Rohan she gave a screech worthy of the Nazgul and from that day forward the eight co-conspirators swore her eyes had been glowing an unholy red.
Moving as quickly as eight heavily pregnant men could (which was to say, not very fast) they trussed Galadriel up like a holiday turkey...I mean they hog-tied and gagged her...and headed for the hills...or at least the nearest flet (which, ironically, was hers). The fact that Celeborn would probably be there didn't even enter their minds. Nor did it dawn on them that Galadriel was telepathic and could call for help that way so the gag was fairly useless.
Amazingly, the possibility of mentally calling for help didn't dawn on Galadriel either.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The memory of giving Galadriel the truth potion would give the co-conspirators nightmares for the rest of their lives. Suffice it to say it involved screeching from her that almost made their ears bleed and damn near summoned the Nazgul back from wherever they'd gone after the destruction of the ring. And not a single one of them had escaped her claws of death (finger nails). To make a long story short...she greatly resembled Smaug, who had been killed several decades early, or more accurately, Gothmog, who had been killed several millennia earlier. In other words...she was VERY scary.
Anyway, it took six of them to hold her still while they pinned her to the ground. Boromir and Faramir each held one of her legs so she couldn't kick. Aragorn and Eomer held one arm (after narrowly missing getting their eyes clawed out). Pippin sat on her stomach while Haldir held her head still. Legolas pried her mouth open so Frodo could pour in the potion before plugging her nose while Legolas held her mouth shut. Left with only two choices (swallow or suffocate) Galadriel chose breathing and swallowed.
After that it was a fairly short wait before the potion started taking affect and she went limp on her own. Heaving relieved sighs the four men, two elves and two hobbits relaxed and let Galadriel go, slumping off to the side in a little pile to rest for a bit after the harrowing experience of drugging the Lady of the Wood, most feared elf-witch in all the ages of the world, past and future.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
By this time Galadriel had been missing for several hours and all of Lothlorien was in an uproar as March Wardens frantically searched for their lady. Surprisingly, the only one not panicking was Celeborn since he was nowhere to be found either, having disappeared sometime in the last few days on a 'camping trip' with Thranduil, unbeknownst to anyone who really mattered. Elrond was suspiciously absent as well, not that it would have mattered considering the only person who scared him more than his currently homicidal foster son, Estel, was Galadriel, so he would have been too busy celebrating the lady's disappearance to be of any help finding her.
It didn't seem to occur to anyone to check her flet since that was the most obvious place and most of the Lorien elves were blond (meaning no offense to blond people with this comment as I know several who are very smart, I'm just taking advantage of the universal 'dumb blonde' jokes) so they weren't the most intelligent of Middle Earth's races. Now if they had been in Rivendell, where the majority of the elves were dark haired, they might have checked the lady's place of residence if Elrond could put his fear of her aside, but (faced with a homicidal Aragorn, a bitchy Haldir, a crying Boromir, a constantly sick Pippin, a jam obsessed Frodo, Eomer, whose taste in food lately was enough to make an orc sick, and Faramir the Wonder Maid) that was a possibility considering that them as a combination was enough to scare all the forces of evil that had ever inhabited the dark places of the world to death.
(Maybe Gandalf should have used the male pregnancy potion sooner. Perhaps the War of the Ring would have went an entirely different way then if eight pregnant men had made up the Fellowship, especially since five of those eight had been in the regular Fellowship and had succeeded without being pregnant. So who's to say that it wouldn't have been easier if they had been pregnant and scared Sauron so bad he destroyed the ring himself in a desperate attempt to get away from them?)
Also, nobody seemed to care that said pregnant males had seemed to disappear as well (which was something to worry about considering none of them knew how they would deliver their children without help and wouldn't even consider leaving Lorien willingly even had they been ten sheets to the wind on the most potent ale in all Arda). So any fool would have come to the conclusion that they might have had something to do with the lady's disappearance, especially considering they had not been very secretive about their plan to use the truth potion on her and had recently taken a poll on what questions they should ask her while she was under the influence of said truth potion. But, as we've already pointed out, Lorien wasn't a place of very much common sense.
So, the whole point of this little story is...the co-conspirators were completely free to interrogate Galadriel to their hearts' content without the risk of being interrupted since everyone in Lothlorien was currently running around like the proverbial chicken with it's head cut off. It was really quite amusing to see. You really should have been there.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Galadriel came to woozy, tied to a chair and surrounded by eight pregnant males. She should have been angry but instead her lips quirked up in a grin, "Am I invited to a party?"
The men all looked at each other nervously. "Um...well not exactly." Legolas stammered.
"How did I do on my pinball game?" Galadriel asked.
The men all looked at each other once again. Truthfully, none of them had bothered to look at the screen before Pippin had become ill once again and vomited all over it.
"Um...you da man." Aragorn said, giving Galadriel a thumbs up.
"Woman." Boromir corrected.
"Elf." Legolas added.
"Oh." Galadriel said with a somewhat loopy smile, "Good. So, what were we doing?"
"Well..." Frodo started, "We were...I mean you were..."
"Stripping for us." Aragorn said suddenly, cutting the hobbit off.
All seven other guys waited in tense silence for Galadriel's response. Aragorn merely stood with his crossed arms propped on top of his swollen belly, one brow cocked.
Galadriel looked down at the rope tied around her upper body. Looking back up at Aragorn she tilted her head to the side, "I can't do that if I'm tied to a chair."
Eight jaws hit the floor (well...not literally) as those words sank in and the guys all looked at each other, all thinking the same thing. 'No way! She's actually going to do it?!' Slowly they all began to grin evilly. Chuckling just as evilly Haldir stepped forward and started to untie Galadriel.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
After Galadriel's little...show...the guys got down to questioning her. Problem was, they couldn't remember what they'd all planned to ask her so they just decided to ask about her potions. It wasn't too bad really, after all, they didn't need to know her deepest secrets anymore. They had something better to hold over her head now.
She'd stripped for them. The almighty Galadriel, most feared elf-witch in Middle Earth had taken off her clothes for eight pregnant (well, they would leave that little fact out) men.
Life was good.
Anyway, on to the questions. The first one to ask something was Aragorn.
"You have that potion to make wizards less eccentric," he started, "Why didn't you use it on Gandalf?"
"Gandalf?" Galadriel asked, "Gandalf. Gandalf. Oh, I remember him. Elderly chap. Big gray beard. Pointy hat. Oh, wait...he's white now isn't he? Well...no matter. I did use it on him. You should have seen him before."
"How much worse could he get?" Haldir mumbled.
"He wore dreadlocks and a pink tutu." Galadriel replied, totally serious, "And neon orange tap shoes and royal purple tights and..."
"Stop! Please!" Pippin moaned, clutching his stomach, "No more. Just the thought makes me sick. Ask another question."
"Why didn't you use the potion again?" Frodo asked, grimacing at the picture of Gandalf that Galadriel had just painted for all of them.
"Using it a second time would just reverse the results and he'd go back to the way he was...if not worse." Galadriel replied with a giggle, "That would be cool. I should do it."
"NO!!!!!!!!!"
Galadriel blinked at the chorus of eight voices shouting in a panic. After a moment she released another giggle, "Okay."
The guys all heaved collective sighs of relief and Eomer quickly distracted Galadriel from that line of though by asking, "Why did you make a male pregnancy potion in the first place, much less use it?"
Galadriel scowled, "To punish Thranduil for seducing my husband. That damn pretty blond elf always wanted what was mine." She suddenly turned a glare on Legolas, "And you got his beauty. Stupid elf."
Legolas cocked a brow. Stupid elf? Did she mean him or his...father? Mother? What exactly would Thranduil be considering he'd carried Legolas and his recently found twin, Haldir?
As Legolas considered that Faramir winced and asked, "Who did you use the neutering potion on?"
Galadriel thought a moment, "I don't think I ever used that one."
"Then why did you make it and how do you know it works?" Boromir asked.
"Come to think of it." Galadriel said, not paying attention to Boromir, "I did use it. Grima's so ugly I figured, well, it would be a gift to society."
"Yeah!" Eomer said in a 'well duh' tone, "But the warning said it was temporary."
"Not the original batch I gave to Grima. After that I ran out of Blood of a Wraith. Very hard to get that. That's what makes it permanent." At that Galadriel sighed, "It's a pity too. I sooooo wanted to use it on Saruman."
The eight guys rolled their eyes, mouthing, 'Okay.'
"What about that temporary size reduction of..." Legolas paused, "You know. Who'd you use that one?"
Galadriel's gaze went 200 degrees cooler, "My low down, two timing husband. His excuse for sleeping with Thranduil was he's prettier than me. That...that...two bit king! Prettier than me! ME!!!"
As Galadriel's eyes began to glow red again the guys stepped back. Eomer, Aragorn, Boromir, Faramir, Haldir, Frodo and Pippin all glared at Legolas, silently chiding him for reminding Galadriel about her husband's infidelity. Legolas shrugged as if to say, 'Well, sorry.'
To once again change the direction of Galadriel's thoughts Aragorn, thinking quickly, asked, "Did you use that insanity potion on Elrond?"
Galadriel's mood changed in a split second and she broke into uncontrolable giggles, "Yes. How else was I supposed to get him to marry Celebrian? He wouldn't believe she was pregnant (he has foresight, you know) and, truth be told, she was kind of a bitch. Got that from her father, she did. Glorfindel always was a bastard."
"Gl...Glorfindel?" Aragorn asked, shocked.
"Hmm...oops." Galadriel said, "No one was supposed to know that."
"I always thought Glorfindel was nice." Legolas said.
"Figures." Galadriel grumped, "All you men stick together!"
The eight guys looked at each other, at their pregnant bellies, then shrugged and chorused, "Well, okay, yeah."
Before anymore questions could be asked the door to the flet burst open and Gandalf cleared his throat, "What is going on in here?"
In the span of one heart beat things went wonky. Boromir burst into guilty tears at being caught in the act of holding Galadriel hostage. Haldir gave a snooty huff and turned his back on Gandalf. Eomer sighed and waddled out mumbling something about chocolate covered lembas dipped in mustard (Ick!). Pippin threw up on Gandalf's pretty white robes. Aragorn, suddenly remembering his personal glow to kill the wizard responsible for him being pregnant by Eomer, grabbed Legolas' twin fighting knives and waddled after a smartly fleeing Gandalf growling, "Die, wizard, die!" Faramir waddled after Aragorn warning the older man that he 'better not mess up my nice clean forest or you'll be in for it'. Frodo stood up and waddled out saying, "I'm gonna go make some jam."
And through it all Legolas merely rolled his eyes and sighed, "I'm surrounded by idiots."
Galadriel seemed to find that hilarious and burst into giggles. Legolas shook his head and waddled out saying, "Just shut, up you old biddy."
Galadriel giggled louder.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
2 months later...
"Galadriel! When are they gonna..."
"I DON'T KNOW!!! QUIT PESTERING ME!"
It was a common phrase to overhear in Lorien as the eight men (don't wanna type out their names) entered their last month. (For simplicity's sake we decide to have everyone, elves included, just carry for nine months)
Frodo had created a mountain of jam jars, Eomer and Pippin were making everyone sick, no one wanted to go near Aragorn or Haldir. Boromir had used up like fifty billion tissue boxes with all his crying, Legolas' complete calm was unnerving and Faramir started screeching like a ringwraith at anyone who dropped even a hint of dirt on his gleaming floors.
In short, all the elves of Lorien were ready to tear the hair out of their dumb blond heads.
"No!!!! Don't walk there! Wipe your feet first! If you spill that ale you're wiping it up!"
Galadriel groaned as she heard Faramir's voice suddenly break the silence of the morning.
"Faramir," she said sweetly, perfectly aware that she was walking on eggshell, "Why don't you take a break. Someone in your condition shouldn't be..."
"No, no! If I take a break this place will get dirty again! I mustn't..."
Faramir suddenly cut off and glanced down at the floor. Galadriel's eyes followed his gaze. There was a small puddle around Faramir's feet. His water had broken.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Replies to reviews...
Landos Star: You are partly right. We did have Legolas tell Boromir they were having twins. But we meant that the baby Boromir carried and the baby Legolas carried would, in a way, be twins since they have the same...parents and would be born about the same time.
Since there were no more questions we'll just say thanks for hanging on this long. Only one more chapter to go.
Thanks again.
~Becky and Brina~