Title: Home and Heart
A Buffy the Vampire Slayer story.
By: Ghostrider
Summary: What happens when your heart is ripped apart by those you love? A slayerette's return after years of absence causes old wounds to be ripped open.
Rating: R
Authors Notes: This story takes place approximately 8 years after the events in the this season's last episode. Personally, I don't like the ending, it's too convenient. So I rewrote it to what I would have wanted to see. Furthermore, I would like to thank my Beta-readers Ozmandayus, Banquo and Scb047 for everything they've done.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy, the WB and UPN own the characters.
Chapter 3
*** 1956 PM, July 12th, Garden of Eden Cemetery, Sunnydale, CA ***
"You okay, B?"
"Fine."
The two slayers walked along in silence for another few minutes.
"That's it! B, you've been silent the whole time since we left Giles. Something is bothering you and I have a sneaking suspicion it's something to do with Angel. So spill already!"
"Faith, it's nothing for you to concern yourself about."
"The hell it is! You're driving me crazy here with the brooding bit. I expect it from him but not from you."
Faith threw Buffy a sideways glance and continued in a softer voice, "Come on, Buffy, I thought we were friends. You know that if something is the matter, you can talk to me, don't you?"
The uncertainty and shyness in Faith's voice made Buffy look up to the other slayer, a feeling of warmth filling her. They'd been through a lot, from tentative friends, to enemies, to reluctant partners, to friends again. While she would never become as good a friend as Willow, there were things that only someone who was like yourself could understand. And over the years that they'd worked together, fought together and cried together, one thing had become clear to Buffy. Faith may be brash, impulsive, forward and generally portrayed the image of the 'Bad Girl', underneath she craved friendship and love, things Buffy herself had received in abundance from her mother, her watcher and her friends.
"It's Angel."
"Why am I not surprised? You always go all loopy when he's around, B."
"It's not that, Faith", she said, taking a deep breath, trying to get up the courage to say what was really bothering her.
"The last time he was here, we had a fight. I threatened him, told him that if I ever saw him again, I'd dust him."
"Wow, that's heavy, B. Want to tell me what happened?"
"Not particularly, no."
"Fair enough."
They walked in companionable silence for another few minutes.
"It was just after one of my patrols. I'd stopped by Xander's grave, you know, to talk to him. Angel showed up. It was a few weeks after the memorial we'd held."
"I remember thinking it was strange that he wasn't there. Was he there to pay his respects or just to see you?"
"Both, I guess."
Buffy started telling Faith what happened that fateful night.
"Well, Xand, told you I'd be back later. Nothing much tonight, just a couple of newbies. God, when will they learn, huh? Just rush in, thinking that'll give them the upper hand. So you see, nothing for you to worry about."
Buffy was quiet for a minute, gathering her thoughts, as she felt her stomach contract and her breath hitch.
"I lied, Xander. I almost didn't make it tonight. They had me pinned. One was all ready to drain me, but then, I thought about you. You were always there to save me. You always had my back, didn't you? Anyway, like I said, I thought about you as that one was getting ready to drink my blood and something snapped inside me. It was like I heard you telling me not to give up, to keep on fighting. I don't know how I did it but I managed to free myself and kill all of them. That's not entirely true, Xander, I know how I got free. You were there, you gave me the strength to get myself out of it, like you always do."
Buffy fell to her knees in front of the headstone, her fingers running over his name as the tears came again.
"Willow needs you, Dawn needs you, even Giles needs you. Would you believe Spike needs you, even though he doesn't say it and would deny it to his last breath? He nearly killed Giles when he decided it was time we stopped searching for you. Willy told me he pulled in favors all over the place to find you. I need you too, my Xander-shaped friend. I need you more then I ever thought I'd need anyone. Please, come back to me."
The tears were falling in torrents now, as her heart ached, thudding dully in her chest. Even so, as immersed as Buffy was in her grief, she heard the soft footfalls behind her, her senses picking up the presence moments later. Jumping up and around into a fighting stance, stake at the ready, the slayer peered into the darkness.
"Easy, Buffy, it's just me."
"What are you doing here, Angel?"
Her former lover stepped out of the shadows, the pale moonlight casting a ghostly glow over his features.
"I came to pay my respects."
"Really? Why not when we held the ceremony? Cordelia and Wesley were here. We held it at night too so Spike could attend."
"I had things to do."
"Things to do. Not according to Cordy and Wesley. Darla, Angel? That slut is back from Hell and you can't even leave her side for one night? I know there was no love lost between you and Xander but at least you could have done him the courtesy of being here when we laid him to rest."
Angel sighed, knowing this was coming the moment he decided to come back to Sunnydale. Dreading what was about to happen.
"You're right, Buffy, I didn't like Xander and he hated me with a passion. That's why I didn't come at first. But I knew one way or another I had to come, to put things right. To make amends."
"Amends", Buffy asked incredulously, "Amends for what?"
"For screwing up everything", Angel answered, running his fingers through his hair as he turned around and leaned his back against a nearby tree. Buffy followed him, the unasked questions burning on her tongue.
"Again I ask, amends for what?"
"Whistler came by to see me yesterday. Told me it was time to come here and ... I saw you, outside Hemery, that day you met Merrick for the first time. Whistler brought me there, to show me what my destiny was."
"I was your destiny?"
"Yes, in a way. I was supposed to help you. It was a way for me to redeem myself in the eyes of the PTB. It was also the day I fell in love with you."
Buffy let it all sink in, Angel had known about her far longer then he'd ever let on. The alley that first night, when she was on the way to the Bronze, wasn't the first time he'd seen her.
"You know what I envied most about Xander? The fact that he could be there for you, when you needed someone. That he could make you laugh, no matter how hard the circumstances were you found yourself in. The way he'd always believe in you, even when everyone else thought things were hopeless. I couldn't do any of those things, even though I was in love you. You didn't need me, Buffy. You've never needed me."
"But... but I love you."
"Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. I don't know anymore. Did you know that when you were in the hospital, Angelus came to visit you? He... I was planning on turning you."
Buffy was speechless at this revelation.
"Yeah, you were weak, in no condition to fight and best of all, you weren't home. But Xander was guarding your door. He wouldn't let me pass. I could've killed him easily. But he stared me down; I've never in all my years, seen such determination. I knew even then, that he'd sell his soul to the Devil for a chance at revenge if I so much as touched a hair on your head. I called him your White Knight, did you know that?"
"No, he never told me", Buffy said in a subdued tone.
"No, he wouldn't. Because that is not him, Buffy. He's the quiet hero, the one people don't see, don't acknowledge but the one nonetheless, who saves those same people, who would scorn him. He'd die for you, Buffy. And that is more then I would do."
Angel's admission was another shock to her already fragile state and Buffy stumbled backwards, her back hitting Xander's headstone. Her hand covering her mouth, trying to surpress the sobs wracking her body.
"I was never supposed to fall for you, Buffy. I was only supposed to help you. Whistler made that clear. I tried, God knows I tried, but I couldn't help it. I fell in love with you and no amount of wishing or cursing would help me get over it."
He turned back to her, watching her intently before dropping the next bombshell on her.
"That night of your birthday, after that fight we had at the pier? That night when we first ... Please forgive me, but I couldn't help myself. You were so beautiful in the light and I couldn't stop myself. I knew about the curse, I knew what would happen and I still..."
Angel looked down at the ground, his soul in agony as he replayed every single moment of that fateful night over and over again in his mind.
"You knew? You knew and you still... Oh my God! All those people!"
Suddenly, Buffy sprang forward, hitting Angel with all her might, knocking him into the tree with such force, the breaking of his ribs was audible. She started kicking him, all the while repeating the words, "You knew!" Finally, after her rage had settled down, she backed away from him, fury visible in her eyes.
"How could you? Xander was right, I should have staked you when I had the chance. All those people! Miss Calender, Theresa!"
"I'm sorry, Buffy."
"Don't you dare! Don't you dare say you're sorry, you bastard! You lied to me! From the beginning you lied to me! In the alley, when you told me you'd thought I'd be bigger! Not telling me about the curse? What did you do? Hypnotize me to fall in love with you?"
"No! I never... Buffy, you've got to believe me! I never..."
"Don't! I said, don't! Don't you dare tell me it wasn't your fault for falling in love with me. You should have told me, at least that way one of us could have stopped all this from happening! All those people, death, because you couldn't open your mouth one goddamned time to tell me the truth!"
Buffy Summers turned around and walked back to the headstone, looking at the name of her best friend as the tears started running again, leaving her eyes puffy and red.
"Get out of Sunnydale, Angel and don't ever come back. If I see you again, I will stake you and save the PTB the burden of giving you your humanity back. You are death to me now."
"Buffy", he pleaded.
"GO!"
Slowly getting to his feet, his ribs still not completely healed, Angel walked out of the cemetery as Buff finally succumbed to the emotions flooding her heart and mind and crumbled to the ground. Resting her head against the cool marble, she cried. Tears for a love that was steeped in lies, tears for the loss of so many innocent lives, lives she was supposed to protect but in the end was the one responsible for their deaths. Tears for her best friend, the other part of her soul. She could finally accept that fact. Xander Harris was the one, the one who'd made her do her best time and time again, the one who could encourage her to go beyond her own limits. Now he was gone and the heart of their family was gone with him, ripped out and shredded. How they would survive was a mystery. This was the way Giles found her several hours later, curled up against the headstone, shivering and crying.
"Jeez, B. I can't believe that he would do something like that."
"I know, Faith, believe me, I know. No matter how much I love him, I can't be with someone who has lied to me. Especially not when it comes with such a high price."
They walked on in silence for several more minutes, each lost in their own thoughts.
"He's right, you know."
"Who? Angel", asked Buffy.
"Yeah."
"About what?"
"Xander being the quiet hero."
"I know."
"Remember that night with the Sisterhood of Jhe?"
"How could I forget? All those icky she-demons running around and then what happened in the library?"
"Xan saved my hide when I was going up against a few of them. We went to my place for some R&R. You know how I get, right?"
"You and Xander?"
"Yeah, go figure. Anyway, I figured, I've always liked the guy, he and I connected on some level. Guess it's the screwed up childhood we both had. To make a long story short, afterwards I kicked him out. Biggest mistake I ever made, B. If I hadn't, maybe things wouldn't have become so fucked up for all of us back then. Hell, he even reached out to me after that thing with the deputy-mayor and I tried to strangle him", Faith cried out, the lump in her throat making it hard to speak.
"But that's not the important part. We all pushed him aside during that time. And he is the real hero of that night, B."
"What do you mean, Faith?"
"When I got back here, me and Spike were patrolling one night. We went over to Willy's afterward; I wanted to play some pool and maybe bash a few heads. It was a slow night, you know."
Buffy nodded in acknowledgement, wondering why it bothered her that Faith seemed to have feelings for Xander.
"Well, he asked if we'd heard anything from Xander. I asked Willie why he was interested in some kid who hung out with the slayer. You know what he said, B.?"
"No, I wasn't there, remember?"
"Yeah, well, Willie said that that Harris kid had more balls then all of us combined. When Spike asked him what he meant by that, Willie told us an interesting story. Seems that Xander had been 'recruited' by Jack O'Toole."
"Jack O'Toole? Sunnydale High's own psycho? Yeah, Cordelia said something to that effect."
"Did she tell you that O'Toole had been killed in a drive-by shooting a week or so before and his uncle had used some kind of voodoo magic to reanimate the body?"
"What?"
"My words exactly. Jackie-boy was a zombie. So, he and Xand went to the cemetery and proceeded to raise his dead gang buddies. They were planning on painting the town red and I don't mean metaphorically speaking either, if ya catch my drift."
Nodding affirmative, Buffy motioned Faith to continue.
"Well, the gang broke into some hardware store, giving Xand the perfect opportunity to get the hell away from them. Sensible thing to do, if you ask me. Anyway, Xander isn't the stupid, worthless joke everybody makes him out to be. He figured out that these guys were up to no good so he grabbed one of these zombie-guys and interrogated him Don't ask me how, coz that's more then even I wanted to know at that point. Anyway, seems O'Toole and his buddies were making a bomb and they had planted it in the boilerroom of Sunnydale High. You know what's up top of the boilerroom, B.?"
"The library", Buffy answered softly, almost dazed.
"Yeah, the library, the same library you guys were busy getting ready to stop the apocalypse demons. So, Xander goes in and starts taking out these zombies one by one, on his own. Finally, it's just him and Jackie-boy. They have a Mexican standoff in the boilerroom as the clock ticks and finally Xander convinces Jack that if that bomb goes off, he'll still be alive on account of being a zombie and all. But it wouldn't be the same coz his body would be blown into tiny little pieces. See, Xander wasn't going to let him get out of there, even if it killed him, so Jack disarmed the bomb with only a second or so to spare."
"Wow."
"Yeah."
"But what happened to O'Toole? I mean, he must've been pissed off."
"He was, but not for long. As to what happened, seems Oz had gotten loose somehow and had a snack."
"Gross! Way more information than I needed."
"Don't blame me, you asked."
"But how did Willy know?"
"The Mayor, of course. He knew there were a few zombies loose that night and his minions found the bomb, dismantled it and cleaned up what remained of those gangbangers."
Silence reigned as both slayers walked through the cemetery, thinking about their lost friend.
"He never said a word."
"That's Xander for ya."
"Do you know why I didn't want him with us? Why I insisted he be kept out of things? It's not because I didn't want him to get hurt. Well, part of it was, but mostly because he lied to me."
"What do you mean, B.? Xander lied to you? About what?"
"When Angel was about to awaken Acathla, Willow was going to try the soul restoration spell again. She told Xander to tell me about it. He didn't. He told me to kick Angel's ass instead. When she told me about it, I was furious. I couldn't understand why he never told me. At first, I thought it was because he hated Angel. But after that confrontation Angel and I had at his grave, I finally began to understand."
For several heartbeats, nothing else was said, until finally, Faith snapped.
"Are you gonna tell me or do I have to beat it out of you? Spill already!"
A slight smile crossed Buffy's lips as she continued, "While his dislike of Angel may have been a part of his decision, it wasn't the main reason he didn't tell me. Remember that Halloween when Ethan Rayne called up the God Janus?"
"Yeah, you were turned into some 17th century noblewoman, I think?"
"One and the same. Xander had been turned into a soldier, in a battlezone, somewhere in Vietnam. His knowledge of tactics and weapons came in handy a number of times, thanks to that. Anyway, after my confrontation with Angel, I asked Giles about it."
"About what?"
"What other reasons Xander might have had about not telling me that Willow was doing the spell again."
"And what did you come up with?"
"Before that whole Halloween disaster, Xander and a few other students had been inhabited by a Hyena spirit. He was the leader of the pack. You know, the leaders are always the strongest members of the pack", she continued as if not hearing the question Faith had posed.
"Both the packleader and the military have a similar mindset. The strongest, most cunning party wins. Acathla was about to suck the earth into hell. The only way to stop it was to kill Angel and send him to hell instead. Had I known that Willow would be doing the spell again, I would have tried to slow Angelus down, giving him a lot better chance of killing me and therefore everybody else on the planet.
The Hyena culls the pack of the weakest members, the military believes that it is better to sacrifice a few so that the majority may live. Xander made the hard choice, Angel for the rest of humanity, even though he knew I would find out. He took the risk of losing my friendship to save all of us. He made the choice I couldn't make time and again, when I faced Angelus.
Oh Faith, if I had only realized it sooner, he might still be here, not out there somewhere, alive or death", Buffy cried out, the tears that had been brimming behind her eyelids pouring out in a heated torrent. Faith did something that was uncharacteristic of her. She pulled Buffy into a tight embrace, even as her tears began to fall.
"He's always been the strongest one of us all, Faith. He would never back down, even if he were scared. Always confronting me when I needed it. God, I miss him so much!"
"We all do, B. We all do. But if he was here, what would he tell you?"
"To get on with my life", Buffy sniffed.
"That's right, he wouldn't want us to mope around like some silly kids. We honor him by doing what we do best. He may not be with us in body, and what a great body it is, but he's in our hearts and minds."
Pulling out of the embrace and wiping her eyes, Buffy smiled at the brunette slayer.
"When did you get so wise?"
"All that time in prison, probably. Gives you lots of time to think."
"How touching."
Both slayers turned around at the sound of the voice, to find that they'd been surrounded by at least a dozen vampires and assorted demons.
"Slayers bonding with each other over a long lost friend", the same vampire spoke again, obviously the leader of the mixed pack they were facing.
"Yeah, and in his memory, we'll be kickin' your ass all the way back to whatever hole you crawled out of", Faith snarled, as she and Buffy got into their defensive positions.
"I seriously doubt that, Slayer."
With those words, the vampires and demons attacked, six each per slayer. Instead of attacking the ones attacking from the front, Faith delivered a fierce reverse kick to the vampire and demon coming from the rear, creating some space as they were thrown backwards. Jumping into a roll, she came up crouching, slamming one stake into the chest of the vampire she'd kicked, while launching the second stake at another vamp rushing her, dusting both quickly. Before she could do much more however, the demon she'd knocked to the ground hit her in the back with a leg, causing her to land hard on the ground. The remaining three immediately grabbed hold of her, pulling her up and began raining blows on her body.
Buffy meanwhile, was having troubles of her own. She'd jumped straight up and kicked two of the advancing demons in the face, pivoted in mid-air, landed into a handstand and used that to launch her over the group. She rapidly staked one vamp and demon, the former turning into dust, the other crumpling to the ground, dead. However, its blood was toxic, immediately burning the stake to ashes and startling the blonde slayer. It was all her remaining opponents needed as one sprang forward, turning himself into a ball as he slammed into her legs, toppling her to the ground.
The leader grabbed her by the hair, pulling her upwards roughly, while slamming an elbow into her kidneys, then throwing her towards two of his minions, who pushed her to her knees as they held her arms tightly. Buffy looked up to where Faith was and saw that she too was in a very bad situation. Cursing herself for letting down her guard and not listening to her senses, Buffy was looking for an opening. She wasn't going to die tonight, neither was Faith. They both were needed here and Xander was sure to give both of them a serious tongue-lashing if they joined him now.
'He's not dead, you hear! He's not dead!" she screamed in her mind, as the lead vampire pulled out a wicked looking knife and advanced on her.
"So these are the vaunted Slayers. I must say, I'm not impressed."
"Really? Just give me a sec and I'm sure we'll be more then able to impress you", hissed Faith, her face bloodied, the red liquid coursing from her nose and the corner of her mouth, as she was forced down next to Buffy.
"I'm sorry, my dear, but you see, you don't have that much time to live. See, we need your blood. Oh not for our drinking pleasure, although I wouldn't mind a sip. No, we just have to drain you and that's exactly what we're gonna do. So who wants to go first? I promise to make it as painful as possible", the vampire leader said, a nightmarish grin on his hideous face.
Buffy and Faith tried to fight themselves loose from their captors, but somehow, their Slayer powers didn't seem to work. It was as if something was suppressing them.
"Hmm, I don't know. What do you think, B.?"
"You first?"
"You sure? I wouldn't mind, you know. You going first and all."
"Naah, you go first. Just leave a little bit for me, though."
Looking from one slayer to the other, the leader was confused. How could they be so calm and flippant while their deaths were imminent? If he could have looked into their minds, he would have seen they were anything but. Their powers weakened and outnumbered, they had very little chance of getting out alive.
As they continued talking, Buffy pushed into the demon on her left, hard, making him stumble right into the one holding Faith on the right. As his grip on the blonde loosened, she broke free, surged up and slammed the palm of her hand straight into the nose of the demon on her right, pushing the bone straight up into his brain.
Faith ripped her arm free, the stake in her sleeve dropping into her hand and slammed it into the crotch of the one holding her on the left. Ripping it out, she jumped up and staked the stumbling vampire, dusting him instantly; continuing her spin, she jammed the stake into the neck of the demon Buffy had pushed into one of Faith's opponents, severing the spine and killing him instantly. That left only 5 opponents, one of which was rolling on the floor, holding his crotch in agony.
Before either Faith or Buffy could do anything, or their remaining enemies take them on again, the knife-wielding vampire's head seemed to explode, his body catching fire and a silvery white hiss. Within a fraction of a second, he was turned into ashes, the knife clanging loudly to the ground. It was the loudest sound as everything seemed to run in slow motion. Everyone was frozen in shock at the site.
The Polgara demon's chest seemed to explode outwards, raining blood and gore, his body following the sickening sight of intestines flying outwards, before it landed on the ground with a wet crunch. The two remaining vampires and the slayers looked around frantically to find what had caused this new development; Buffy nearly choked as she saw the small red dot appear on the nearest vampire's head. It exploded and in similar fashion to its leader, the body burned and turned to dust. The last vampire standing met the same fate, even before his predecessor's ashes had hit the ground. The deaths of the vamp leader and his minion had taken less then five seconds from the moment Buffy and Faith had beaten off the demons and vamps holding them down.
"What the hell just happened here, B.?"
"Don't know but I'm not complaining. Hey!"
Buffy noticed their last opponent stumbling away, almost bend double as he held his bleeding crotch, trying to save his unlife. Buffy and Faith looked on in amazement as the red dot she'd seen earlier tracked his every move, letting him get away further. When he was almost in the shadows of the trees, a soft sound, almost like a sigh could be heard and the vampire disappeared in a bright white flash. The two slayers turned around, towards where the red dot had appeared. There, in the shadows of a group of trees, a silhouette was barely noticeable, bathed in the moonlight.
"Seems we've got a partycrasher. Wanna say Hi?"
"Would be the polite thing to do, B."
Both slayers began walking towards the silhouette, which didn't seem to move at all. As they neared him, the silhouette suddenly lifted his hands, stretching them out. Seeing the red dot painted on Buffy's forehead, Faith didn't hesitate and bounded into her friend like a defensive lineman, knocking them both to the ground. Before they untangled their limbs and managed to get up, the roar of a powerful bike engine cut through the night. Looking into the direction it was coming from, they both were startled as powerful headlights nearly blinded them, the silhouette roaring past them on a dark motorcycle into the darkness of the night.
"Guess he's the shy type, B."
"Yeah, too bad. Next time. We better get back to the shop."
"Right, vamps and demons working together. That's a first. And a stranger in town who seems to prefer to blow them up, then ride off into the night. If I didn't know better, I'd say this is a scene from 'High Plains Drifter'.
"As to the first item", Buffy said, as she began to jog back to the Magic Shop, "we've had that before, when the Initiative and Adam were around. As for the second, all I can say is 'Huh'?"
Faith grinned at her sister-in-arms.
"B., next vid night, I'm gonna introduce you to Clint Eastwood. Maybe even Lee Marvin and Charlie Bronson. Now those were tough guys, not wusses like today's so-called action heroes."
"Hey! Freddie P. kicked major butt in his last flick! And he's to die for!"
"B., you're seriously hard up if you find that guy attractive."
With their playful bickering, the two slayers ran into the night, towards their destination, both wondering what bad mojo had come to Sunnydale this time
A Buffy the Vampire Slayer story.
By: Ghostrider
Summary: What happens when your heart is ripped apart by those you love? A slayerette's return after years of absence causes old wounds to be ripped open.
Rating: R
Authors Notes: This story takes place approximately 8 years after the events in the this season's last episode. Personally, I don't like the ending, it's too convenient. So I rewrote it to what I would have wanted to see. Furthermore, I would like to thank my Beta-readers Ozmandayus, Banquo and Scb047 for everything they've done.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy, the WB and UPN own the characters.
Chapter 3
*** 1956 PM, July 12th, Garden of Eden Cemetery, Sunnydale, CA ***
"You okay, B?"
"Fine."
The two slayers walked along in silence for another few minutes.
"That's it! B, you've been silent the whole time since we left Giles. Something is bothering you and I have a sneaking suspicion it's something to do with Angel. So spill already!"
"Faith, it's nothing for you to concern yourself about."
"The hell it is! You're driving me crazy here with the brooding bit. I expect it from him but not from you."
Faith threw Buffy a sideways glance and continued in a softer voice, "Come on, Buffy, I thought we were friends. You know that if something is the matter, you can talk to me, don't you?"
The uncertainty and shyness in Faith's voice made Buffy look up to the other slayer, a feeling of warmth filling her. They'd been through a lot, from tentative friends, to enemies, to reluctant partners, to friends again. While she would never become as good a friend as Willow, there were things that only someone who was like yourself could understand. And over the years that they'd worked together, fought together and cried together, one thing had become clear to Buffy. Faith may be brash, impulsive, forward and generally portrayed the image of the 'Bad Girl', underneath she craved friendship and love, things Buffy herself had received in abundance from her mother, her watcher and her friends.
"It's Angel."
"Why am I not surprised? You always go all loopy when he's around, B."
"It's not that, Faith", she said, taking a deep breath, trying to get up the courage to say what was really bothering her.
"The last time he was here, we had a fight. I threatened him, told him that if I ever saw him again, I'd dust him."
"Wow, that's heavy, B. Want to tell me what happened?"
"Not particularly, no."
"Fair enough."
They walked in companionable silence for another few minutes.
"It was just after one of my patrols. I'd stopped by Xander's grave, you know, to talk to him. Angel showed up. It was a few weeks after the memorial we'd held."
"I remember thinking it was strange that he wasn't there. Was he there to pay his respects or just to see you?"
"Both, I guess."
Buffy started telling Faith what happened that fateful night.
"Well, Xand, told you I'd be back later. Nothing much tonight, just a couple of newbies. God, when will they learn, huh? Just rush in, thinking that'll give them the upper hand. So you see, nothing for you to worry about."
Buffy was quiet for a minute, gathering her thoughts, as she felt her stomach contract and her breath hitch.
"I lied, Xander. I almost didn't make it tonight. They had me pinned. One was all ready to drain me, but then, I thought about you. You were always there to save me. You always had my back, didn't you? Anyway, like I said, I thought about you as that one was getting ready to drink my blood and something snapped inside me. It was like I heard you telling me not to give up, to keep on fighting. I don't know how I did it but I managed to free myself and kill all of them. That's not entirely true, Xander, I know how I got free. You were there, you gave me the strength to get myself out of it, like you always do."
Buffy fell to her knees in front of the headstone, her fingers running over his name as the tears came again.
"Willow needs you, Dawn needs you, even Giles needs you. Would you believe Spike needs you, even though he doesn't say it and would deny it to his last breath? He nearly killed Giles when he decided it was time we stopped searching for you. Willy told me he pulled in favors all over the place to find you. I need you too, my Xander-shaped friend. I need you more then I ever thought I'd need anyone. Please, come back to me."
The tears were falling in torrents now, as her heart ached, thudding dully in her chest. Even so, as immersed as Buffy was in her grief, she heard the soft footfalls behind her, her senses picking up the presence moments later. Jumping up and around into a fighting stance, stake at the ready, the slayer peered into the darkness.
"Easy, Buffy, it's just me."
"What are you doing here, Angel?"
Her former lover stepped out of the shadows, the pale moonlight casting a ghostly glow over his features.
"I came to pay my respects."
"Really? Why not when we held the ceremony? Cordelia and Wesley were here. We held it at night too so Spike could attend."
"I had things to do."
"Things to do. Not according to Cordy and Wesley. Darla, Angel? That slut is back from Hell and you can't even leave her side for one night? I know there was no love lost between you and Xander but at least you could have done him the courtesy of being here when we laid him to rest."
Angel sighed, knowing this was coming the moment he decided to come back to Sunnydale. Dreading what was about to happen.
"You're right, Buffy, I didn't like Xander and he hated me with a passion. That's why I didn't come at first. But I knew one way or another I had to come, to put things right. To make amends."
"Amends", Buffy asked incredulously, "Amends for what?"
"For screwing up everything", Angel answered, running his fingers through his hair as he turned around and leaned his back against a nearby tree. Buffy followed him, the unasked questions burning on her tongue.
"Again I ask, amends for what?"
"Whistler came by to see me yesterday. Told me it was time to come here and ... I saw you, outside Hemery, that day you met Merrick for the first time. Whistler brought me there, to show me what my destiny was."
"I was your destiny?"
"Yes, in a way. I was supposed to help you. It was a way for me to redeem myself in the eyes of the PTB. It was also the day I fell in love with you."
Buffy let it all sink in, Angel had known about her far longer then he'd ever let on. The alley that first night, when she was on the way to the Bronze, wasn't the first time he'd seen her.
"You know what I envied most about Xander? The fact that he could be there for you, when you needed someone. That he could make you laugh, no matter how hard the circumstances were you found yourself in. The way he'd always believe in you, even when everyone else thought things were hopeless. I couldn't do any of those things, even though I was in love you. You didn't need me, Buffy. You've never needed me."
"But... but I love you."
"Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. I don't know anymore. Did you know that when you were in the hospital, Angelus came to visit you? He... I was planning on turning you."
Buffy was speechless at this revelation.
"Yeah, you were weak, in no condition to fight and best of all, you weren't home. But Xander was guarding your door. He wouldn't let me pass. I could've killed him easily. But he stared me down; I've never in all my years, seen such determination. I knew even then, that he'd sell his soul to the Devil for a chance at revenge if I so much as touched a hair on your head. I called him your White Knight, did you know that?"
"No, he never told me", Buffy said in a subdued tone.
"No, he wouldn't. Because that is not him, Buffy. He's the quiet hero, the one people don't see, don't acknowledge but the one nonetheless, who saves those same people, who would scorn him. He'd die for you, Buffy. And that is more then I would do."
Angel's admission was another shock to her already fragile state and Buffy stumbled backwards, her back hitting Xander's headstone. Her hand covering her mouth, trying to surpress the sobs wracking her body.
"I was never supposed to fall for you, Buffy. I was only supposed to help you. Whistler made that clear. I tried, God knows I tried, but I couldn't help it. I fell in love with you and no amount of wishing or cursing would help me get over it."
He turned back to her, watching her intently before dropping the next bombshell on her.
"That night of your birthday, after that fight we had at the pier? That night when we first ... Please forgive me, but I couldn't help myself. You were so beautiful in the light and I couldn't stop myself. I knew about the curse, I knew what would happen and I still..."
Angel looked down at the ground, his soul in agony as he replayed every single moment of that fateful night over and over again in his mind.
"You knew? You knew and you still... Oh my God! All those people!"
Suddenly, Buffy sprang forward, hitting Angel with all her might, knocking him into the tree with such force, the breaking of his ribs was audible. She started kicking him, all the while repeating the words, "You knew!" Finally, after her rage had settled down, she backed away from him, fury visible in her eyes.
"How could you? Xander was right, I should have staked you when I had the chance. All those people! Miss Calender, Theresa!"
"I'm sorry, Buffy."
"Don't you dare! Don't you dare say you're sorry, you bastard! You lied to me! From the beginning you lied to me! In the alley, when you told me you'd thought I'd be bigger! Not telling me about the curse? What did you do? Hypnotize me to fall in love with you?"
"No! I never... Buffy, you've got to believe me! I never..."
"Don't! I said, don't! Don't you dare tell me it wasn't your fault for falling in love with me. You should have told me, at least that way one of us could have stopped all this from happening! All those people, death, because you couldn't open your mouth one goddamned time to tell me the truth!"
Buffy Summers turned around and walked back to the headstone, looking at the name of her best friend as the tears started running again, leaving her eyes puffy and red.
"Get out of Sunnydale, Angel and don't ever come back. If I see you again, I will stake you and save the PTB the burden of giving you your humanity back. You are death to me now."
"Buffy", he pleaded.
"GO!"
Slowly getting to his feet, his ribs still not completely healed, Angel walked out of the cemetery as Buff finally succumbed to the emotions flooding her heart and mind and crumbled to the ground. Resting her head against the cool marble, she cried. Tears for a love that was steeped in lies, tears for the loss of so many innocent lives, lives she was supposed to protect but in the end was the one responsible for their deaths. Tears for her best friend, the other part of her soul. She could finally accept that fact. Xander Harris was the one, the one who'd made her do her best time and time again, the one who could encourage her to go beyond her own limits. Now he was gone and the heart of their family was gone with him, ripped out and shredded. How they would survive was a mystery. This was the way Giles found her several hours later, curled up against the headstone, shivering and crying.
"Jeez, B. I can't believe that he would do something like that."
"I know, Faith, believe me, I know. No matter how much I love him, I can't be with someone who has lied to me. Especially not when it comes with such a high price."
They walked on in silence for several more minutes, each lost in their own thoughts.
"He's right, you know."
"Who? Angel", asked Buffy.
"Yeah."
"About what?"
"Xander being the quiet hero."
"I know."
"Remember that night with the Sisterhood of Jhe?"
"How could I forget? All those icky she-demons running around and then what happened in the library?"
"Xan saved my hide when I was going up against a few of them. We went to my place for some R&R. You know how I get, right?"
"You and Xander?"
"Yeah, go figure. Anyway, I figured, I've always liked the guy, he and I connected on some level. Guess it's the screwed up childhood we both had. To make a long story short, afterwards I kicked him out. Biggest mistake I ever made, B. If I hadn't, maybe things wouldn't have become so fucked up for all of us back then. Hell, he even reached out to me after that thing with the deputy-mayor and I tried to strangle him", Faith cried out, the lump in her throat making it hard to speak.
"But that's not the important part. We all pushed him aside during that time. And he is the real hero of that night, B."
"What do you mean, Faith?"
"When I got back here, me and Spike were patrolling one night. We went over to Willy's afterward; I wanted to play some pool and maybe bash a few heads. It was a slow night, you know."
Buffy nodded in acknowledgement, wondering why it bothered her that Faith seemed to have feelings for Xander.
"Well, he asked if we'd heard anything from Xander. I asked Willie why he was interested in some kid who hung out with the slayer. You know what he said, B.?"
"No, I wasn't there, remember?"
"Yeah, well, Willie said that that Harris kid had more balls then all of us combined. When Spike asked him what he meant by that, Willie told us an interesting story. Seems that Xander had been 'recruited' by Jack O'Toole."
"Jack O'Toole? Sunnydale High's own psycho? Yeah, Cordelia said something to that effect."
"Did she tell you that O'Toole had been killed in a drive-by shooting a week or so before and his uncle had used some kind of voodoo magic to reanimate the body?"
"What?"
"My words exactly. Jackie-boy was a zombie. So, he and Xand went to the cemetery and proceeded to raise his dead gang buddies. They were planning on painting the town red and I don't mean metaphorically speaking either, if ya catch my drift."
Nodding affirmative, Buffy motioned Faith to continue.
"Well, the gang broke into some hardware store, giving Xand the perfect opportunity to get the hell away from them. Sensible thing to do, if you ask me. Anyway, Xander isn't the stupid, worthless joke everybody makes him out to be. He figured out that these guys were up to no good so he grabbed one of these zombie-guys and interrogated him Don't ask me how, coz that's more then even I wanted to know at that point. Anyway, seems O'Toole and his buddies were making a bomb and they had planted it in the boilerroom of Sunnydale High. You know what's up top of the boilerroom, B.?"
"The library", Buffy answered softly, almost dazed.
"Yeah, the library, the same library you guys were busy getting ready to stop the apocalypse demons. So, Xander goes in and starts taking out these zombies one by one, on his own. Finally, it's just him and Jackie-boy. They have a Mexican standoff in the boilerroom as the clock ticks and finally Xander convinces Jack that if that bomb goes off, he'll still be alive on account of being a zombie and all. But it wouldn't be the same coz his body would be blown into tiny little pieces. See, Xander wasn't going to let him get out of there, even if it killed him, so Jack disarmed the bomb with only a second or so to spare."
"Wow."
"Yeah."
"But what happened to O'Toole? I mean, he must've been pissed off."
"He was, but not for long. As to what happened, seems Oz had gotten loose somehow and had a snack."
"Gross! Way more information than I needed."
"Don't blame me, you asked."
"But how did Willy know?"
"The Mayor, of course. He knew there were a few zombies loose that night and his minions found the bomb, dismantled it and cleaned up what remained of those gangbangers."
Silence reigned as both slayers walked through the cemetery, thinking about their lost friend.
"He never said a word."
"That's Xander for ya."
"Do you know why I didn't want him with us? Why I insisted he be kept out of things? It's not because I didn't want him to get hurt. Well, part of it was, but mostly because he lied to me."
"What do you mean, B.? Xander lied to you? About what?"
"When Angel was about to awaken Acathla, Willow was going to try the soul restoration spell again. She told Xander to tell me about it. He didn't. He told me to kick Angel's ass instead. When she told me about it, I was furious. I couldn't understand why he never told me. At first, I thought it was because he hated Angel. But after that confrontation Angel and I had at his grave, I finally began to understand."
For several heartbeats, nothing else was said, until finally, Faith snapped.
"Are you gonna tell me or do I have to beat it out of you? Spill already!"
A slight smile crossed Buffy's lips as she continued, "While his dislike of Angel may have been a part of his decision, it wasn't the main reason he didn't tell me. Remember that Halloween when Ethan Rayne called up the God Janus?"
"Yeah, you were turned into some 17th century noblewoman, I think?"
"One and the same. Xander had been turned into a soldier, in a battlezone, somewhere in Vietnam. His knowledge of tactics and weapons came in handy a number of times, thanks to that. Anyway, after my confrontation with Angel, I asked Giles about it."
"About what?"
"What other reasons Xander might have had about not telling me that Willow was doing the spell again."
"And what did you come up with?"
"Before that whole Halloween disaster, Xander and a few other students had been inhabited by a Hyena spirit. He was the leader of the pack. You know, the leaders are always the strongest members of the pack", she continued as if not hearing the question Faith had posed.
"Both the packleader and the military have a similar mindset. The strongest, most cunning party wins. Acathla was about to suck the earth into hell. The only way to stop it was to kill Angel and send him to hell instead. Had I known that Willow would be doing the spell again, I would have tried to slow Angelus down, giving him a lot better chance of killing me and therefore everybody else on the planet.
The Hyena culls the pack of the weakest members, the military believes that it is better to sacrifice a few so that the majority may live. Xander made the hard choice, Angel for the rest of humanity, even though he knew I would find out. He took the risk of losing my friendship to save all of us. He made the choice I couldn't make time and again, when I faced Angelus.
Oh Faith, if I had only realized it sooner, he might still be here, not out there somewhere, alive or death", Buffy cried out, the tears that had been brimming behind her eyelids pouring out in a heated torrent. Faith did something that was uncharacteristic of her. She pulled Buffy into a tight embrace, even as her tears began to fall.
"He's always been the strongest one of us all, Faith. He would never back down, even if he were scared. Always confronting me when I needed it. God, I miss him so much!"
"We all do, B. We all do. But if he was here, what would he tell you?"
"To get on with my life", Buffy sniffed.
"That's right, he wouldn't want us to mope around like some silly kids. We honor him by doing what we do best. He may not be with us in body, and what a great body it is, but he's in our hearts and minds."
Pulling out of the embrace and wiping her eyes, Buffy smiled at the brunette slayer.
"When did you get so wise?"
"All that time in prison, probably. Gives you lots of time to think."
"How touching."
Both slayers turned around at the sound of the voice, to find that they'd been surrounded by at least a dozen vampires and assorted demons.
"Slayers bonding with each other over a long lost friend", the same vampire spoke again, obviously the leader of the mixed pack they were facing.
"Yeah, and in his memory, we'll be kickin' your ass all the way back to whatever hole you crawled out of", Faith snarled, as she and Buffy got into their defensive positions.
"I seriously doubt that, Slayer."
With those words, the vampires and demons attacked, six each per slayer. Instead of attacking the ones attacking from the front, Faith delivered a fierce reverse kick to the vampire and demon coming from the rear, creating some space as they were thrown backwards. Jumping into a roll, she came up crouching, slamming one stake into the chest of the vampire she'd kicked, while launching the second stake at another vamp rushing her, dusting both quickly. Before she could do much more however, the demon she'd knocked to the ground hit her in the back with a leg, causing her to land hard on the ground. The remaining three immediately grabbed hold of her, pulling her up and began raining blows on her body.
Buffy meanwhile, was having troubles of her own. She'd jumped straight up and kicked two of the advancing demons in the face, pivoted in mid-air, landed into a handstand and used that to launch her over the group. She rapidly staked one vamp and demon, the former turning into dust, the other crumpling to the ground, dead. However, its blood was toxic, immediately burning the stake to ashes and startling the blonde slayer. It was all her remaining opponents needed as one sprang forward, turning himself into a ball as he slammed into her legs, toppling her to the ground.
The leader grabbed her by the hair, pulling her upwards roughly, while slamming an elbow into her kidneys, then throwing her towards two of his minions, who pushed her to her knees as they held her arms tightly. Buffy looked up to where Faith was and saw that she too was in a very bad situation. Cursing herself for letting down her guard and not listening to her senses, Buffy was looking for an opening. She wasn't going to die tonight, neither was Faith. They both were needed here and Xander was sure to give both of them a serious tongue-lashing if they joined him now.
'He's not dead, you hear! He's not dead!" she screamed in her mind, as the lead vampire pulled out a wicked looking knife and advanced on her.
"So these are the vaunted Slayers. I must say, I'm not impressed."
"Really? Just give me a sec and I'm sure we'll be more then able to impress you", hissed Faith, her face bloodied, the red liquid coursing from her nose and the corner of her mouth, as she was forced down next to Buffy.
"I'm sorry, my dear, but you see, you don't have that much time to live. See, we need your blood. Oh not for our drinking pleasure, although I wouldn't mind a sip. No, we just have to drain you and that's exactly what we're gonna do. So who wants to go first? I promise to make it as painful as possible", the vampire leader said, a nightmarish grin on his hideous face.
Buffy and Faith tried to fight themselves loose from their captors, but somehow, their Slayer powers didn't seem to work. It was as if something was suppressing them.
"Hmm, I don't know. What do you think, B.?"
"You first?"
"You sure? I wouldn't mind, you know. You going first and all."
"Naah, you go first. Just leave a little bit for me, though."
Looking from one slayer to the other, the leader was confused. How could they be so calm and flippant while their deaths were imminent? If he could have looked into their minds, he would have seen they were anything but. Their powers weakened and outnumbered, they had very little chance of getting out alive.
As they continued talking, Buffy pushed into the demon on her left, hard, making him stumble right into the one holding Faith on the right. As his grip on the blonde loosened, she broke free, surged up and slammed the palm of her hand straight into the nose of the demon on her right, pushing the bone straight up into his brain.
Faith ripped her arm free, the stake in her sleeve dropping into her hand and slammed it into the crotch of the one holding her on the left. Ripping it out, she jumped up and staked the stumbling vampire, dusting him instantly; continuing her spin, she jammed the stake into the neck of the demon Buffy had pushed into one of Faith's opponents, severing the spine and killing him instantly. That left only 5 opponents, one of which was rolling on the floor, holding his crotch in agony.
Before either Faith or Buffy could do anything, or their remaining enemies take them on again, the knife-wielding vampire's head seemed to explode, his body catching fire and a silvery white hiss. Within a fraction of a second, he was turned into ashes, the knife clanging loudly to the ground. It was the loudest sound as everything seemed to run in slow motion. Everyone was frozen in shock at the site.
The Polgara demon's chest seemed to explode outwards, raining blood and gore, his body following the sickening sight of intestines flying outwards, before it landed on the ground with a wet crunch. The two remaining vampires and the slayers looked around frantically to find what had caused this new development; Buffy nearly choked as she saw the small red dot appear on the nearest vampire's head. It exploded and in similar fashion to its leader, the body burned and turned to dust. The last vampire standing met the same fate, even before his predecessor's ashes had hit the ground. The deaths of the vamp leader and his minion had taken less then five seconds from the moment Buffy and Faith had beaten off the demons and vamps holding them down.
"What the hell just happened here, B.?"
"Don't know but I'm not complaining. Hey!"
Buffy noticed their last opponent stumbling away, almost bend double as he held his bleeding crotch, trying to save his unlife. Buffy and Faith looked on in amazement as the red dot she'd seen earlier tracked his every move, letting him get away further. When he was almost in the shadows of the trees, a soft sound, almost like a sigh could be heard and the vampire disappeared in a bright white flash. The two slayers turned around, towards where the red dot had appeared. There, in the shadows of a group of trees, a silhouette was barely noticeable, bathed in the moonlight.
"Seems we've got a partycrasher. Wanna say Hi?"
"Would be the polite thing to do, B."
Both slayers began walking towards the silhouette, which didn't seem to move at all. As they neared him, the silhouette suddenly lifted his hands, stretching them out. Seeing the red dot painted on Buffy's forehead, Faith didn't hesitate and bounded into her friend like a defensive lineman, knocking them both to the ground. Before they untangled their limbs and managed to get up, the roar of a powerful bike engine cut through the night. Looking into the direction it was coming from, they both were startled as powerful headlights nearly blinded them, the silhouette roaring past them on a dark motorcycle into the darkness of the night.
"Guess he's the shy type, B."
"Yeah, too bad. Next time. We better get back to the shop."
"Right, vamps and demons working together. That's a first. And a stranger in town who seems to prefer to blow them up, then ride off into the night. If I didn't know better, I'd say this is a scene from 'High Plains Drifter'.
"As to the first item", Buffy said, as she began to jog back to the Magic Shop, "we've had that before, when the Initiative and Adam were around. As for the second, all I can say is 'Huh'?"
Faith grinned at her sister-in-arms.
"B., next vid night, I'm gonna introduce you to Clint Eastwood. Maybe even Lee Marvin and Charlie Bronson. Now those were tough guys, not wusses like today's so-called action heroes."
"Hey! Freddie P. kicked major butt in his last flick! And he's to die for!"
"B., you're seriously hard up if you find that guy attractive."
With their playful bickering, the two slayers ran into the night, towards their destination, both wondering what bad mojo had come to Sunnydale this time