Title: Home and Heart
A Buffy the Vampire Slayer story.
By: Ghostrider
Summary: What happens when your heart is ripped apart by those you love? A slayerette's return after years of absence causes old wounds to be ripped open.
Rating: R
Authors Notes: This story takes place approximately 8 years after the events in the this season's last episode. Personally, I don't like the ending, it's too convenient. So I rewrote it to what I would have wanted to see. Furthermore, I would like to thank my Beta-readers Ozmandayus, Banquo and Scb047 for everything they've done.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy, the WB and UPN own the characters.
Chapter 7
*** 1524 PM, July 13th, Sunnydale Park, Sunnydale, CA ***
After the scene in Giles' shop, Xander had driven around for a while, until he'd reached Sunnydale Park. Parking the SUV, he'd walked around, until he came up on the children's playground. Standing there, he watched as the children played, calling up memories of earlier times, happier times. Times when he and Willow had played on the swings, the rocking horse or climbed into the tower. He remembered the nights he'd come here, after a particular brutal patrol, just to look up at the stars. The first time he'd come here to find Buffy sitting on one of the swings, just after killing the Master. That night, they'd talked about everything and nothing. That night, he'd held her as she broke down, finally releasing all the pent up frustration, anger and fear from her death at the Master's hands.
If he closed his eyes, he could still smell her scent, that strawberry shampoo she used, mixed with her own unique scent. He could still feel her tears soaking his shirt as she cried, him murmuring comforting words in her hair. Promising her he would never leave her side, would always be there for her, no matter what.
'Well, you broke that promise, didn't you, Xander? You left, just like every other guy in her life, you left. Not true. You didn't leave, she did. She left you the moment she pushed you away from the group. You just went away. There was nothing more here for you. They didn't want you or needed you anymore.'
As Xander listened to the voice in his head, sorting through his conflicting emotions and feelings, he kept walking.
"Your mind and heart are heavy with conflict, young man. Why do you not sit down and talk about it? You might see things more clearly."
Xander turned towards the voice, surprised to see an old Oriental gentleman sitting on one of the park benches. His eyes were hidden behind dark blue tinted glasses and slowly, realization set in.
"You're blind", he stated in shock.
"A brilliant observation, young mister Harris. Come, sit", the man said, tapping the place beside him for emphasis.
"How do you know who I am? It's not like you can see me", Xander asked warily. Demons didn't usually come out in the daytime and this guy didn't seem like any demon he'd ever seen before. More like an ancient man, skin all wrinkled and mottled with liver spots. The old man suddenly let out a short bark of laughter.
"I'm not a demon, young man. Although some people may disagree with you in that regard. Come and sit with an old man for a while."
Sighing, Xander thought it over for a moment, then sat down next to the old man, looking at him from the corner of his eyes. After all, this was Sunnydale, the place where nothing was what it seems.
"See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?"
"Who are you and how do you know my name?"
"Your question is, 'how do you know that I'm Alexander Lavelle Harris, when I'm blind as a bat?' Hmmm? Am I right?"
Xander looked the old man over; he was dressed completely in black, from the black pants to the black shirt and jacket. His clothes were worth a multiple of what Xander made in two months. A black bowler sat atop his head and the cane he carried was made of ornately carved wood, with a jade dragon on top. The man gave him the creeps.
"Maybe. But you have me at a disadvantage. You know who I am, but I don't know who you are."
"You may address me as Mister Lee."
"Well, Mister Lee, care to answer my previous question?"
"Of course. I've been following your exploits for quite some time, Mr. Harris. Or should I say Lieutenant Harrelson?"
"Really? And how long would that be, Mister Lee?"
"Why, since the Slayer came to Sunnydale, Xander. You don't might if I call you Xander, right?"
Not getting a response from him, Mister Lee continued on.
"I'm sure you are wondering why I've been keeping an eye on you, Xander."
"Nope, not at all. I'm used to people watching my every move. Comes with the territory of being a babe magnet", Xander answered as he looked around him, trying to find anything or anyone out of the ordinary. His feelings of unease didn't abate in the slightest as the conversation wore on.
"I do love a man with a sense of humor, Xander and yours is a particularly enjoyable wit. I also see that you don't ask the obvious question, how do I know about the Slayer."
"Nope, not gonna ask. I figure, you want me to know, you'll tell me. But if you're going to tell me that the slayer is here to slay dragons, I'm getting up and walking away. Unless of course that dragon on your cane suddenly decides to grow exponentially and starts breathing fire. Then I'm running out of here."
Again, Mister Lee burst into laughter, his free hand slapping his upper legs in mirth. Finally getting himself under control, Mister Lee took a deep breath.
"Good, good. You are neither confirming nor denying anything. They've trained you well, always try to get as much information from your contacts without giving too much away. Anyway, enough small talk. Let's get down to business.
As I said before, you're mind and heart are full of conflicting emotions, fighting against each other. These emotions stem from the fact that you feel betrayed, yet you've found out that the betrayal is not as all-encompassing as you'd deemed it in the first place. You have to put that turmoil to rest if you are to be ready for the coming battle."
"And what would you know about this socalled turmoil, hmm? Or this battle? I'm on leave and as far as I know, CNN hasn't yet announced where the next hotspot is gonna be, a week in advance before we even know it."
Xander was bristling with anger at this man's presumption regarding his mental state and what had caused it. He was also scared that this man was capable to see these things in him, things he didn't want to admit to himself just yet. Also, the allusions he made to what had driven him here were adding to the discomfort Xander was feeling.
"I know that the Slayer didn't want you in the line of fire. I know that she decided it without your input. I know that her Watcher and your best friend agreed with her. I also know that you've proven your worth over and over again and that they never acknowledged it. Furthermore, I know that all three of them feel guilty for you leaving."
"Really? Fine way of showing that to me."
"What do you expect, Xander? You disappear for years without so much as a word. Then when you do come back, you do your version of a cross between Lee Marvin and Steven Seagal and shoot the souled vampire. An inspired move I must say. A sign of things to come, after all, you promised to be at his demise. And believe me, you will."
"Who the hell are you", Xander asked wide-eyed.
"Mister Lee, of course, I'm sure I told you that before. Now listen to me, Xander. It is important that you put to rest your anger and resentment. They are your friends. Maybe even more then friends. Even though they have been misguided, their intentions were honorable. See that for what it is. Let your heart speak, let them back in."
"Are you sure you should be giving me that speech? I think they made it pretty clear earlier that they don't want my help."
The hurt he'd so carefully tried to hide, showed through his words, for the second time in less then 24 hours.
"Pride, young Starbuck, pride. After all, you didn't give them much choice, did you? Your entrance last night was nothing short of spectacular and quite bloody."
"Oh come off it, old man! You expect me to forgive them while they are the ones who cut out my heart? Not in this lifetime! They should be the ones apologizing to me."
"Did you give them the chance?"
"The chance? The first thing that happened today was getting slapped in the face. Then those two British dudes backed her up, saying they didn't trust me and wouldn't tell me anything. Now I ask you again, why would I give them another chance?"
"Ahh, pride. You people are so full of it that it stops you from doing the right thing."
"What has pride got to do with anything?"
"You are too proud to admit that you need them in your life. You are too proud to see that they are your family, with all the good and bad stuff that is part of being a family. They are too proud to say that they're sorry for everything they've put you through, for driving you away. Just remember the saying, 'Pride goeth before the fall', my young friend. Someone has to make the first move."
"I think I did my part this morning. I took Buffy's hit. That would have been it for me; I was ready to forget about everything else, help them with the current problem and then leave. But did it stop there? No, it didn't. They just kept on pushing."
Mister Lee sighed as he removed his glasses, cleaned them and put them back on, the movements eerily similar to Giles'.
"Xander..."
"No! I already made the first step this morning and got it thrown back into my face", Xander thundered as he jumped up and began to pace in front of the bench, not caring who witnessed his outburst.
"If they want to resolve anything, they can damn well swallow their pride and come and talk to me."
"You are right, of course. However, don't wait too long. If Mohammed doesn't come to the mountain, the mountain should come to Mohammed."
"What, now you're mixing your metaphors", Xander said, laughing sadly.
"All I'm saying, Xander, don't wait too long. Before you know it, it's too late. You can't afford to lose time, not now."
"You keep saying that. What more do you know? You know something, don't you? Something about all of this, about the dreams I've been having. About what it is we're facing?"
"I might. If you're willing to listen to an old man."
"Whatever you are, I doubt you're just a simple old man, Mister Lee. Who are you really, or should I ask what are you really?"
"I'm just an old man who knows certain things. Sit and we shall talk about them. But do not forget what I told you. Forgiveness is the first step to building a bond so strong it will weather the coming storm. You need each other. You are the heart, remember that. If nothing else, remember that."
Shaking his head, Xander sat back down, wondering why that last phrase seemed so familiar to him and why, somewhere deep inside, he felt he could trust this strange Oriental man.
*** 1524 PM, July 13th, The Magic Box, Sunnydale, CA ***
"Nothing, not a blasted thing!"
"Calm down, Giles, there has to be something in these musty tomes of yours."
"Cordelia, we've been over each and every one of them. We've been over every book you brought from Los Angeles. Nothing and absolutely nothing in it mentions a power that is capable of dampening a Slayer's power. Or even has a description of this demon!"
"The Council confirms that nothing in their library comes close to any of the information we've send them", Wesley said, as he stepped into the training room. "Neither are there any prophecies that foretell about any of this."
"So what, this is all just a hoax", Buffy asked, frustration evident in her voice.
"I highly doubt that. Cordy's visions have always been accurate", Angel answered her as he slammed another book closed in frustration.
"Besides, Xander has seen the same demon in his dreams and from what I could tell, they were quite disturbing", Faith added.
"Oh, so now we're believing Xander? He's been gone for years, comes back suddenly, conveniently just when Cordelia is having this vision and claims to have had a prophetic dream, starring the same demon! That is after he kicks the crap out of a few demons and coming in here all 'Mr. Tall – Dark – Mess with me and you die' and shooting Angel, after having beaten him up. Who says he's not the one responsible for all this crap, huh? Do any of us know what he did in all that time? Maybe he's found a way to manipulate your visions, Cor. Maybe he's here to exact some sick and twisted revenge on us!"
Everybody looked at Buffy like she'd gone off the deep end. Before she could continue her rant, however, Willow was in her face.
"How dare you! How dare you even think such a thing! After all that he's done for you, you're accusing him? Buffy, Xander may be many things, but he's not like that! He's my best friend and I know he wouldn't do something like that."
"Red is right, B. Xander is not the enemy. You don't think so either, you're just scared."
"Scared? Me? Come on, Faith, I've been the slayer here for more then a decade! I've kicked major butt as long as I can remember. I'm not scared of anything."
"Then tell me this, Buffy, in all that time, did you do your buttkicking alone? Or did you have people helping you? And who was it that was always at your side? Who always had your back? Who scoffed at prophecies of your death?"
Seeing the pained look on Buffy's face, Faith nodded.
"That's right, Xander. Come on, B. Admit it, you know he's not here to harm us. He's here to help. You're just trying to find a way to distance yourself from him, so you don't have to go and face him. That way, you don't have to apologise."
Buffy visibly deflated at Faith's words.
"Yeah well, I doubt he'll even want to speak to me after what I did this morning."
"What WE did, Buffy. You were not the only one at fault. Giles and I were as much at fault as you are."
"Thanks for helping, Wes. NOT!"
"Buffy."
Buffy looked up at her former lover as he rested a hand on her shoulder. She looked so small, her face marred by thick bags, a combination of lack of sleep and crying.
"I'm the first one to admit that last night's spectacle was way out of line, but then again, I was wrong too in attacking him. I knew he would never hurt you but seeing you in such a vulnerable position... It just got to me. And Xander has enough reasons to hate me. You all do. He's just a lot more outspoken about it. And now, he has the resources to back it up. Don't blame him for this. Don't blame yourself. Just forget about it and be happy that he is back. Find him and talk things out. You owe it to yourself to do that. Maybe even regain what you've lost. I've seen you, Buffy, you've been lost without him."
"Angel is right, Buffy. Xander's my best friend but he's so much more to you. Don't let this chance slip away. Try and regain some of what is lost and build from there. Do it for me, for all of us, but most of all, do it for yourself."
Willow pulled Buffy into a hug, both women holding on as if they were each other's lifeline.
"I'm scared, guys. What if I go to him and he rejects me? What then? I almost died the first time he left. I can't go through that again."
Nobody said anything as they pondered that question; what if Xander had already cut them out of his heart? What if he'd cut Buffy Summers completely out of his heart? Clearly, he was in town against his will. The dreams were what had brought him home after so long. Buffy had worked herself into exhaustion the first time he'd disappeared, tearing through town for any sign of him. When she'd recovered, she'd gone on a hunting spree of undead evil, the likes of which were still unbelievable. Taking risks that were irresponsible, skating on the edge of the abyss. Only her friends had managed to bring her back from the brink. Finally, she'd regained some semblance of sanity, but the remorse and feelings of loss were still there.
When Giles, Willow and Dawn had placed a memorial stone in the cemetery, Buffy had finally broken down and cried herself into a stupor that lasted weeks. Finally forcing herself to believe he was really and truly gone to her. Now, faced with the fact that he was alive and well, but so filled with anger and resentment towards her, those same feelings had returned with a vengeance. Knowing he was alive but still gone to her, with only a small possibility of forgiveness, was almost too much for her heart to take. Buffy knew that she couldn't take it if he left again. Her heart, that had taken so much effort to put back together again, couldn't take the thought of him hating her and leaving again. Buffy knew that if that happened, she would die. So she did the only thing she could. Buffy had closed her heart, built walls around it so nothing could harm her. But it wasn't enough. Not nearly enough.
"Wills, do you know where he's staying?"
"Yes, Buffy", Willow said, handing a piece of paper to her friend.
Buffy turned towards Faith, handing her the slip of paper. Faith silently accepted it, nodding her head.
"I'll talk to him, B. You'll see, things will work out fine."
"I hope you're right, Faith. I hope to God that you're right."
*** 1754 PM, July 13th, Jameson Trucking, Sunnydale, CA ***
Xander stood in the middle of the floor, breathing deeply. He'd already done his warmup exercises and was preparing for his martial arts exercises. He was standing in the ready position, breathing deeply.
Slowly, he brought his hands, from waist level, palms up, fingers pointing toward each other, up to the chest, while inhaling. Then he turned the palms outward towards his imaginary opponent, and slowly began pushing them forward, while exhaling, then forcefully completed the movement with both arms out in front, knife-hands pointing 45 degrees in and up, as if pushing his opponent away.
Xander moved smoothly into the first stance with a 90 degree left turn, moving his left foot into a left back stance, completing it with a double knife-hand block, his left hand pushed out forward, the right pressed into pit of his stomach. The movements sped up, as he placed more power behind them. He pivoted on his left foot, his right leg executing a low side kick, attacking the knee. Immediately followed by a right leg side kick to the upper body, without even setting it down. The right foot came down into a right forward stance, followed by a right single knife-hand in-to-out strike to the upper body, the palm down, arm straight out in front, the elbow straight.
He immediately punched out with his left hand towards the middle of his imaginary opponent's body; shifting his weight and feet back into a right back stance, Xander's right arm shot out, into an out-to-in block. This preceded his stepping back with his right foot and turning 180 degrees to the right as he pivoted on his left foot, moving his right foot into a right back stance as he again used a double knife-hand block.
Xander pivoted on his right foot, his left kicking out towards the knee again, then quickly moving upwards, delivering a powerful side kick to the upper body. He stepped down with his left foot into a left forward stance, following that up with a left single knife-hand in-to-out strike to the upper body, a right hand middle punch following up the devastating attack. He shifted back into a left back stance, his left arm extending into an out-to-in block, a 90 degree turn to the left, moving his left foot into a left forward stance, using the left arm for a low knife-hand block.
Immediately going into the offensive again, Xander's right hand made an attack towards the throat, following it up with a right leg front snap kick; he stepped down with his right foot into a right forward stance and right arm low knife-hand block, going into a left arc-hand attack to the throat again. A left leg front snap kick followed in rapid succession, flowing gracefully into a step down with his left foot into left forward stance.
He executed another left arm low knife-hand block and right arc-hand attack to the throat combination, shouting out his battlecry. Delivering a right leg front snap kick, Xander again stepped down with his right foot into a right forward stance. His next move pretended to break the opponent's knee with a left low arc-hand, holding the foot against his ribcage with his right hand. He moved his left foot a step forward, and pivoted on his right, turning his body towards the right 180 degrees, so that his right foot was now forward, facing South.
Following it up with another step down and back with his left foot into a right forward stance, he performed a double in-to-out middle block, fists crossing in front of him. Delivering a left leg front snap kick, Xander placed his feet into a left forward stance, again creating the movements to break his opponent's knee. He pulled his left foot back into a left walking stance, while performing a double in-to-out middle block, smoothly moving from defense to offense and back.
Xander performed another 180 degree turn right, using his left foot as axis, his right moving into a
horseback riding position. His left arm performed a single knife-hand side block, the palm down, elbow slightly bent, his right fist at his. From there, he performed a right hand cross-body side punch to the upper body, using his left hand as target, punching towards a westerly direction, both
arms held straight. Turning his upper body partially toward his opponent, with his feet still in the horseback riding position, Xander then sidestepped, crossing his right foot in front of the left, delivering a cross-body close front punch, forcefully moving his right fist with the palm up to the right hip, as if he was performing a rear elbow strike and moving his left fist across the front of his body towards the right hip, the palm down and his elbow bent at a 90 degree angle.
This was followed up by another left foot side kick to the upper body, another step down with his left foot, a turn to the right to an easterly direction, where he assumed a right forward stance, performing a left spear-hand attack to his opponent's groin while pulling his opponent's arm to his upper shoulder with his right. Pulling his right foot backwards into a right walking stance, Xander then made a right arm low block, following through with another step forward with his left foot into a left walking stance. A left hand low palm-fist block to block a low front kick rounded out his defense.
Xander stepped forward with his right foot, turning his hips towards the north into a horseback riding stance, his right arm performing a side elbow strike, supporting the right fist with left knife
hand's palm. From there a right arm single knife-hand side block, followed by a left hand cross-body side punch to the upper body, using the right hand to distract. He sidestepped, crossing his left foot in front of the right, performing a cross body close front punch. Another right foot side kick to the upper body, a step down with his right foot, and a turn to the left, assuming a left forward stance, his right spear-hand attacking the groin again, pulling his opponent's arm to his upper shoulder with the left.
The sound of applause stopped him in midmotion and made him turn around, confronting its source.
"What are you doing here, Faith?"
"Nice moves", she answered, ignoring his question, instead admiring his physique. Walking up to him, the dark haired slayer began circling him, trailing a finger over his chest, arms and back. His muscles were much more defined then she remembered, hinting at the power his body possessed. Shaking off the feelings her proximity and finger raised, he walked away from her, towards the fridge, pulling out a bottle of juice, throwing her a second bottle.
Faith deftly caught the bottle; they drank in silence, each eyeing the other. Faith couldn't get over the fact that her onetime boy toy had turned from a lanky teenager into a hardened warrior with a body that most women would drool over. If she was still the same person she'd been eight years ago, he'd be sweating from a different kind of workout right now.
Alex didn't like the fact that his hideout had been discovered but was glad that at least they hadn't send Buffy. As things stood now, it was a save bet one of them would not come out alive.
"Again, I ask, what are you doing here?"
"Well, would you believe I was in the neighborhood and wanted to chat about old times?"
"No. Let me guess, Willow?"
Knowing the question, she nodded.
"Yeah. Red always knew her way around a computer."
Faith suddenly began acting shy, her eyes moving all over the place instead of looking at Alex like she'd done before. It was clear she was uncomfortable for some reason. With a sigh, Alex threw the empty bottle into the thrash.
"Okay, what is it? You here to talk me into coming back to the group? Want me to go back and tell the others that I'm sorry? Because if that's the case, you can forget it."
"No, it's not that. It's... I...", Faith stuttered, then continued, "Look, I don't usually do this, so just listen and don't say a word. Okay?"
Intrigued, Alex nodded his ascent.
"Thanks", Faith said, softly, almost in a whisper, her eyes pointed at the floor.
To say that he was stunned, would have been an understatement. Alex looked at Faith openmouthed, his brain not able to process what had just happened. Finally, shaking his head to clear it from the fog that threatened to overwhelm it, he spoke, "Uhm, you're welcome, I think. What exactly are you thanking me for?"
"Well, Willow found this place coz of the account that paid its taxes and stuff. You know? The same account that's paying my college fees? The same one that's been depositing monthly payments into my account? That letter from the law firm that I got when I got out of prison, telling me that those monthly deposits were under the condition that I got my GED and into college? I figure that it's all your doing, so again, thanks."
Alex groaned out loud, cursing himself for his stupidity. A rookie mistake. A damn rookie mistake.
"I take it that if you know, the others do too, right?"
"Yeah."
"Crap!"
"Why are you saying that? Just because you made good on your promise? If it weren't for you, neither B, Dawn or me would have been able to go to school. None of us would have the chance at a normal life. I'd still be out there, playing around like a maniac, coz I wouldn't have a future. You gave me that future, Xander. Because of you, I'm looking forward to retiring from my slayer duties, just like Buffy and having a normal life. You gave that to me. You gave even more to B. and her sister! They've got a roof over their heads, food on the table. All bills paid, insurances filled out, money in the bank! Did you know B. has gotten several job offers right here in town? All because of you. So don't you start thinking that us knowing it is you is such a bad thing."
"Faith, spare me. I'm betting that the next time Buffy and I meet, she's gonna hit me again and tell me that she doesn't want my charity. That she's an independent woman and doesn't need a guy taking care of her and her sister like a sugar daddy. I'm so not in the mood for any of that crap, you know?"
He threw the towel he'd been using forcefully against a chair, leaning back against the fridge, head resting against the door, eyes closed. Throwing caution to the wind, Faith walked up to him, grabbing his head between her hands, forcing him to look at her.
"Xander, B. is mad at herself. She's mad because she thinks she drove you away. She's mad because she's been blaming herself for that. All these years, she hasn't stopped blaming herself. But because of her pride, she can't let go. That's why she's behaving like that, okay? She told me herself, so believe it. You don't know how hard she's had it since you've been gone; they thought you were dead when nothing they did could help locate you. I've been here six years and I've seen the way the group acts. It's like they're totally different persons from what I remember. All B. needs is for you to make the first step. Go and talk to her. Just sit down and talk to her. No shouting, no punching, no shooting people, just talking. Clear the air and move on from there."
"I take it the shooting Angel wasn't such a good idea, huh?"
"Whatever gave you that idea", Faith asked, softly smiling at Alex.
"Oh, I don't know, the fist in my face when I came in this afternoon."
"Yeah, well, you did deserve that. Angel may not be my favorite person, but he did help me get my act together and he's been very helpful to us over the years."
"I take it you want me to apologize to him?"
"That's between you and him. Like I said, he's not my favorite person in the world and I know you've got even less use for him. And from what I've heard, you and him have some kind of date. Kinky", Faith grinned.
"Yeah, kinky."
They were still standing that way, Alex leaning against the fridge, his face between Faith's hands. Their eyes were locked with each other and slowly, their faces seemed to be coming closer, moving into position for a kiss. Neither one was consciously thinking about what they were doing, it was as if something outside of them was compelling them to. When their lips were almost touching, both of them regained their senses. Faith started blushing as she quickly released his face and stepped back. Alex thought it was the cutest thing he'd ever seen, moreso since this was Faith, the woman whose mantra was 'Want! Take! Have!'. The attraction was still there, even after all these years.
"Okay, so you want me to go and talk to Buffy. Get things out in the open, clear the air, that sum it up", he asked, regaining his composure.
"Yeah, something like that", Faith said, walking around the room, fidgeting.
She still felt flustered about almost kissing Xander. It felt right to want it but it also felt wrong somehow. When she'd looked into his brown eyes, she'd seen the attraction there, the blatant arousal, fear, need and something else, something deeper. She was afraid of that something because Faith knew that she could get lost in it. And something told her that until Xander and Buffy had talked and started the healing, she shouldn't get pulled into that deeper feeling she'd seen in his eyes. A feeling that deep down, she felt too for this man. This man that had saved her one night, had tried to help her at the deepest point in her life, this man that she'd tried to kill. Things were just too damn complicated right now. And until it was all sorted out, Faith would hold back. It was the right thing to do.
"So, what was that kata you were doing? Looked very effective to me", she said, looking around the setup Xander had made.
"Not a kata, that's Japanese. This was a poomse, which, technically, is the Korean version. It's one of the more complicated ones, specifically the Koryo poomse, done for the black belt."
"So, a style pattern, then. Never had much use for those."
"That's were you are wrong, oh dark-haired goddess. It is a basic technique designed to center your being, to make you one with the elements. Things suddenly become clearer, more focused. It's the true spirit of martial arts, in this case, Tae Kwon-Do. This is not sport, this is combat; technique is not everything, you know. You need to know the spirit, feel it in you, course through you. Only then, can you defeat any opponent."
"Sounds like a lot of psychological crap to me, boy toy."
"Maybe, but I do know when I've done a few of them, I'm more focused then I've ever been."
"Maybe you should teach me a few of those moves. I could always use more focus. You wouldn't believe what kind of crap I'm getting in class", she sighed.
"Maybe I will, we'll see."
"Where did you learn all that stuff?"
"Spent a year in South Korea, courtesy of an exchange program for officers and NCO's. I was assigned duty with the White Skull Brigade."
"Sounds like something Giles would love to study", Faith chuckled.
An answering chuckle was heard as Alex stepped into the showerstall. The sound of running water drew Faith from her perusal of Xander's spartan living quarters and she walked over to the closed door of the bathroom.
"Hey boy toy! Want me to do your back", she said through the door.
"No thanks. I doubt I'd leave it at that, Faith. You're better than any Twinkie I've ever had and I don't want to tempt fate just now, no pun intended."
His laughter rang in her ears and brought an answering smile on Faith's lips.
"So you served with these White Skulls, huh? Guess they're some kind of special unit or something?"
"You could say that", Alex answered, very aware of Faith standing on the other side of the door. Cursing himself for not locking it, a small part of his brain was wondering if he hadn't closed it on purpose. This game he and Faith were playing was getting more and more dangerous by the minute.
"They're tasked with guard duty of the DMZ. Really bad boys; each member knows at least two forms of martial arts and they could give any slayer a run for their money. The only times I can remember being so severely beaten up was when I was sparring with Buffy. But it paid off in the end. Got my black belt in Tae Kwon-Do and learned Aikido and Tai Chi."
"So not a total waste of your time then, huh?"
"Nope, not at all."
Hearing the shower shut down, Faith moved away from the door, taking a seat behind the desk holding the computer and radio equipment. As she looked it all over, imprinting every detail in her mind for later disclosure with Giles and Willow, a split picture frame caught her eye. The first picture showed Xander in Marine cammies, with a five-man team of Marines, huddled together, laughing at the camera. They were all wearing packs and other gear and looked quite intimidating. From the background, it looked like some tropical country.
The other picture was also a group picture, taken at an airbase. Xander, dressed in a pilot's suit, stood with four other pilots and a beautiful, blonde woman, dressed in a clingy summer dress. He carried a helmet in one hand, the other wrapped around the woman's waist. She was seductively wrapped around him, a captivating smile lighting up her face.
"The one on the left is from my last recon platoon, back in South East Asia, just before I was shipped off to OCS. The one on the right, is from just before my deployment to carrier duty."
Faith looked up and behind her. She'd been so engrossed in the pictures that she didn't hear Xander walk up to her. Taking in his attire, she couldn't help but give a whistle of appreciation. The black T-shirt clung to his body like a second skin. The black combat pants hid his powerful legs but somehow, he made it look sexy. His short, spiked hair glistened softly, still slightly wet. Definite girl candy! If the others could see him now... Faith was sure Buffy, Dawn, Cordelia and Cassandra would be drooling right about now.
"So who's the blonde?"
"Which one?"
Looking back at the pictures, she noticed that indeed there were two blondes in the right picture.
"The one in the flightsuit is Captain Alexandra Jensen, callsign Ice. She's the squadron XO. The lady in the dress is Kate, our den mother, confidante and muse. She owns a bar in Pensacola, the Bucket; it's been a jet jock watering hole for decades. She's got this amazing ability to see right through you and get to the heart of the problem."
Noticing the fond smile as he spoke of Kate, Faith couldn't help but feel a stab of jealousy.
"Sounds like a great lady."
"She is. She also likes to play with your head. I owe a lot to her and the others, they've been there for me when I needed someone", Alex said wistfully.
Seeing that Xander was beginning to fall back into a melancholy state, Faith quickly changed the subject, pointing to the helmet he was carrying in the picture.
"What's that symbol on your helmet?"
"Oh, that. That's just the symbol for my callsign", Alex answered grinning.
After waiting a few heartbeats for any more information, Faith got impatient and lightly elbowed Xander in the ribs.
"Spill!"
"Okay, okay, no need to get violent. My callsign is Gunny."
"Gunny? Coz you love guns?"
"No, because I was a Gunnery Sergeant before I went to flight school."
Remembering that she'd seen this in his personnel file, Faith nodded.
"You know, something is still bothering me, boy toy."
"What's that?"
"How can you afford all of this? Between sending me, B. and Dawn through college, the monthly payments and all the other stuff, it must be a fortune you're spending. Then this place here. I'm not the smartest girl on the block but even I know that soldiers don't make that kind of money. Where do you get it, Xand?"
Running a hand through his hair, Alex sighed before answering Faith's question.
"Let's just say that during my career, I've done some 'outside jobs' for certain parties. All highly illegal, all dealing with certain supernatural crises. I made it clear that the only way I would do those jobs was if I got a certain amount of compensation."
Faith was furious when she heard this, her thoughts immediately turning to the stories she'd been told about the Initiative. If Xander had done stuff for them..
"Faith, there is nothing to worry about. I mostly worked for the Watcher's Council. Did some work for wealthy individuals, who'd been harassed by certain gangs of demons and stuff like that. They're all major contributors to the Council. Mostly, it was just retrieval stuff, getting artifacts for the Council that shouldn't be in demon hands."
"Xander, for your sake, I hope you're right. If I find out that you've been working for the other side, you don't have to worry about B. kicking your sorry ass, coz I will."
"Noted and logged, Faith dear. Don't worry about it."
Faith was sure he didn't lie to her, but she needed to say it nonetheless. She still wasn't too fond of the Council, but it was the others he'd worked for that worried her. Maybe she could get it out of him, make sure that nothing would come back to bite them. As she was thinking all of this, Faith watched as Xander got ready for patrol.
Alex pulled on a combat vest, loaded with stakes, vials of holy water and other implements of the trade. Next came two of the same knives he'd used so efficiently the night before, attached to his hips on opposite sides. Two guns were placed in the attached shoulder holsters, the front pockets filled with spare clips. A H&K MP5PDW came next, attached to the tactical sling, just underneath the right-side gun holster. Spare clips sat on the left side of the vest. The last item was the long black leather duster Alex pulled on; it covered all the hardware quite nicely.
"Looks like you're ready to wage war on a small nation, Xan. Care if I tag along?"
"Shouldn't you be with the rest of the Scoobies? Wouldn't want to be seen consorting with the enemy, Faith. You know what happened last time."
The moment those words left his mouth, Alex wished he could take them back, especially as he saw the hurt look cross Faith's face.
"I'm sorry, Faith, that was uncalled for."
"No, it isn't, Xander, you were right. But the difference now is that you're not evil. You could have stayed away but you decided to come back to stop whatever it is that's in town. Even though you knew you'd run into problems with the old gang. Besides, I already told the others that I'm patrolling with you."
"Fair enough. But do me a favor, stop calling me Xander. That's a part of my life that is death. I'd like to keep it that way. I go by Alex now", he said as he turned to the motorcycle and started it up. Faith walked up and sat down behind him, slipping her arms around his waist.
"Sorry boy toy, you'll always be Xander to me, so you better get used to it again."
"Faith", he answered in a whiny voice, looking at her.
"Live with it. Just one thing I'm curious about."
"Another thing? Jeez, you can't seem to stop finding things curious. What now?"
"How come those vamps and demons you shot earlier either exploded or burned and when you shot Angel, he just bled?"
"Changed clips; most ammo I carry has a holy water- napalm combo center. It hits the target, the bullet expands. The holy water comes free, spreading through the body with the bullet fragments, causing the vamp's body to start burning from the inside. The napalm too spreads and keeps burning. It also toasts other kinds of demons pretty well, don't you think?"
With those last words, Alex revved the engine and drove out into the night, Faith's body pressed tightly against his. Her earlier words mingled in his mind and he decided to heed her advice.
A Buffy the Vampire Slayer story.
By: Ghostrider
Summary: What happens when your heart is ripped apart by those you love? A slayerette's return after years of absence causes old wounds to be ripped open.
Rating: R
Authors Notes: This story takes place approximately 8 years after the events in the this season's last episode. Personally, I don't like the ending, it's too convenient. So I rewrote it to what I would have wanted to see. Furthermore, I would like to thank my Beta-readers Ozmandayus, Banquo and Scb047 for everything they've done.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy, the WB and UPN own the characters.
Chapter 7
*** 1524 PM, July 13th, Sunnydale Park, Sunnydale, CA ***
After the scene in Giles' shop, Xander had driven around for a while, until he'd reached Sunnydale Park. Parking the SUV, he'd walked around, until he came up on the children's playground. Standing there, he watched as the children played, calling up memories of earlier times, happier times. Times when he and Willow had played on the swings, the rocking horse or climbed into the tower. He remembered the nights he'd come here, after a particular brutal patrol, just to look up at the stars. The first time he'd come here to find Buffy sitting on one of the swings, just after killing the Master. That night, they'd talked about everything and nothing. That night, he'd held her as she broke down, finally releasing all the pent up frustration, anger and fear from her death at the Master's hands.
If he closed his eyes, he could still smell her scent, that strawberry shampoo she used, mixed with her own unique scent. He could still feel her tears soaking his shirt as she cried, him murmuring comforting words in her hair. Promising her he would never leave her side, would always be there for her, no matter what.
'Well, you broke that promise, didn't you, Xander? You left, just like every other guy in her life, you left. Not true. You didn't leave, she did. She left you the moment she pushed you away from the group. You just went away. There was nothing more here for you. They didn't want you or needed you anymore.'
As Xander listened to the voice in his head, sorting through his conflicting emotions and feelings, he kept walking.
"Your mind and heart are heavy with conflict, young man. Why do you not sit down and talk about it? You might see things more clearly."
Xander turned towards the voice, surprised to see an old Oriental gentleman sitting on one of the park benches. His eyes were hidden behind dark blue tinted glasses and slowly, realization set in.
"You're blind", he stated in shock.
"A brilliant observation, young mister Harris. Come, sit", the man said, tapping the place beside him for emphasis.
"How do you know who I am? It's not like you can see me", Xander asked warily. Demons didn't usually come out in the daytime and this guy didn't seem like any demon he'd ever seen before. More like an ancient man, skin all wrinkled and mottled with liver spots. The old man suddenly let out a short bark of laughter.
"I'm not a demon, young man. Although some people may disagree with you in that regard. Come and sit with an old man for a while."
Sighing, Xander thought it over for a moment, then sat down next to the old man, looking at him from the corner of his eyes. After all, this was Sunnydale, the place where nothing was what it seems.
"See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?"
"Who are you and how do you know my name?"
"Your question is, 'how do you know that I'm Alexander Lavelle Harris, when I'm blind as a bat?' Hmmm? Am I right?"
Xander looked the old man over; he was dressed completely in black, from the black pants to the black shirt and jacket. His clothes were worth a multiple of what Xander made in two months. A black bowler sat atop his head and the cane he carried was made of ornately carved wood, with a jade dragon on top. The man gave him the creeps.
"Maybe. But you have me at a disadvantage. You know who I am, but I don't know who you are."
"You may address me as Mister Lee."
"Well, Mister Lee, care to answer my previous question?"
"Of course. I've been following your exploits for quite some time, Mr. Harris. Or should I say Lieutenant Harrelson?"
"Really? And how long would that be, Mister Lee?"
"Why, since the Slayer came to Sunnydale, Xander. You don't might if I call you Xander, right?"
Not getting a response from him, Mister Lee continued on.
"I'm sure you are wondering why I've been keeping an eye on you, Xander."
"Nope, not at all. I'm used to people watching my every move. Comes with the territory of being a babe magnet", Xander answered as he looked around him, trying to find anything or anyone out of the ordinary. His feelings of unease didn't abate in the slightest as the conversation wore on.
"I do love a man with a sense of humor, Xander and yours is a particularly enjoyable wit. I also see that you don't ask the obvious question, how do I know about the Slayer."
"Nope, not gonna ask. I figure, you want me to know, you'll tell me. But if you're going to tell me that the slayer is here to slay dragons, I'm getting up and walking away. Unless of course that dragon on your cane suddenly decides to grow exponentially and starts breathing fire. Then I'm running out of here."
Again, Mister Lee burst into laughter, his free hand slapping his upper legs in mirth. Finally getting himself under control, Mister Lee took a deep breath.
"Good, good. You are neither confirming nor denying anything. They've trained you well, always try to get as much information from your contacts without giving too much away. Anyway, enough small talk. Let's get down to business.
As I said before, you're mind and heart are full of conflicting emotions, fighting against each other. These emotions stem from the fact that you feel betrayed, yet you've found out that the betrayal is not as all-encompassing as you'd deemed it in the first place. You have to put that turmoil to rest if you are to be ready for the coming battle."
"And what would you know about this socalled turmoil, hmm? Or this battle? I'm on leave and as far as I know, CNN hasn't yet announced where the next hotspot is gonna be, a week in advance before we even know it."
Xander was bristling with anger at this man's presumption regarding his mental state and what had caused it. He was also scared that this man was capable to see these things in him, things he didn't want to admit to himself just yet. Also, the allusions he made to what had driven him here were adding to the discomfort Xander was feeling.
"I know that the Slayer didn't want you in the line of fire. I know that she decided it without your input. I know that her Watcher and your best friend agreed with her. I also know that you've proven your worth over and over again and that they never acknowledged it. Furthermore, I know that all three of them feel guilty for you leaving."
"Really? Fine way of showing that to me."
"What do you expect, Xander? You disappear for years without so much as a word. Then when you do come back, you do your version of a cross between Lee Marvin and Steven Seagal and shoot the souled vampire. An inspired move I must say. A sign of things to come, after all, you promised to be at his demise. And believe me, you will."
"Who the hell are you", Xander asked wide-eyed.
"Mister Lee, of course, I'm sure I told you that before. Now listen to me, Xander. It is important that you put to rest your anger and resentment. They are your friends. Maybe even more then friends. Even though they have been misguided, their intentions were honorable. See that for what it is. Let your heart speak, let them back in."
"Are you sure you should be giving me that speech? I think they made it pretty clear earlier that they don't want my help."
The hurt he'd so carefully tried to hide, showed through his words, for the second time in less then 24 hours.
"Pride, young Starbuck, pride. After all, you didn't give them much choice, did you? Your entrance last night was nothing short of spectacular and quite bloody."
"Oh come off it, old man! You expect me to forgive them while they are the ones who cut out my heart? Not in this lifetime! They should be the ones apologizing to me."
"Did you give them the chance?"
"The chance? The first thing that happened today was getting slapped in the face. Then those two British dudes backed her up, saying they didn't trust me and wouldn't tell me anything. Now I ask you again, why would I give them another chance?"
"Ahh, pride. You people are so full of it that it stops you from doing the right thing."
"What has pride got to do with anything?"
"You are too proud to admit that you need them in your life. You are too proud to see that they are your family, with all the good and bad stuff that is part of being a family. They are too proud to say that they're sorry for everything they've put you through, for driving you away. Just remember the saying, 'Pride goeth before the fall', my young friend. Someone has to make the first move."
"I think I did my part this morning. I took Buffy's hit. That would have been it for me; I was ready to forget about everything else, help them with the current problem and then leave. But did it stop there? No, it didn't. They just kept on pushing."
Mister Lee sighed as he removed his glasses, cleaned them and put them back on, the movements eerily similar to Giles'.
"Xander..."
"No! I already made the first step this morning and got it thrown back into my face", Xander thundered as he jumped up and began to pace in front of the bench, not caring who witnessed his outburst.
"If they want to resolve anything, they can damn well swallow their pride and come and talk to me."
"You are right, of course. However, don't wait too long. If Mohammed doesn't come to the mountain, the mountain should come to Mohammed."
"What, now you're mixing your metaphors", Xander said, laughing sadly.
"All I'm saying, Xander, don't wait too long. Before you know it, it's too late. You can't afford to lose time, not now."
"You keep saying that. What more do you know? You know something, don't you? Something about all of this, about the dreams I've been having. About what it is we're facing?"
"I might. If you're willing to listen to an old man."
"Whatever you are, I doubt you're just a simple old man, Mister Lee. Who are you really, or should I ask what are you really?"
"I'm just an old man who knows certain things. Sit and we shall talk about them. But do not forget what I told you. Forgiveness is the first step to building a bond so strong it will weather the coming storm. You need each other. You are the heart, remember that. If nothing else, remember that."
Shaking his head, Xander sat back down, wondering why that last phrase seemed so familiar to him and why, somewhere deep inside, he felt he could trust this strange Oriental man.
*** 1524 PM, July 13th, The Magic Box, Sunnydale, CA ***
"Nothing, not a blasted thing!"
"Calm down, Giles, there has to be something in these musty tomes of yours."
"Cordelia, we've been over each and every one of them. We've been over every book you brought from Los Angeles. Nothing and absolutely nothing in it mentions a power that is capable of dampening a Slayer's power. Or even has a description of this demon!"
"The Council confirms that nothing in their library comes close to any of the information we've send them", Wesley said, as he stepped into the training room. "Neither are there any prophecies that foretell about any of this."
"So what, this is all just a hoax", Buffy asked, frustration evident in her voice.
"I highly doubt that. Cordy's visions have always been accurate", Angel answered her as he slammed another book closed in frustration.
"Besides, Xander has seen the same demon in his dreams and from what I could tell, they were quite disturbing", Faith added.
"Oh, so now we're believing Xander? He's been gone for years, comes back suddenly, conveniently just when Cordelia is having this vision and claims to have had a prophetic dream, starring the same demon! That is after he kicks the crap out of a few demons and coming in here all 'Mr. Tall – Dark – Mess with me and you die' and shooting Angel, after having beaten him up. Who says he's not the one responsible for all this crap, huh? Do any of us know what he did in all that time? Maybe he's found a way to manipulate your visions, Cor. Maybe he's here to exact some sick and twisted revenge on us!"
Everybody looked at Buffy like she'd gone off the deep end. Before she could continue her rant, however, Willow was in her face.
"How dare you! How dare you even think such a thing! After all that he's done for you, you're accusing him? Buffy, Xander may be many things, but he's not like that! He's my best friend and I know he wouldn't do something like that."
"Red is right, B. Xander is not the enemy. You don't think so either, you're just scared."
"Scared? Me? Come on, Faith, I've been the slayer here for more then a decade! I've kicked major butt as long as I can remember. I'm not scared of anything."
"Then tell me this, Buffy, in all that time, did you do your buttkicking alone? Or did you have people helping you? And who was it that was always at your side? Who always had your back? Who scoffed at prophecies of your death?"
Seeing the pained look on Buffy's face, Faith nodded.
"That's right, Xander. Come on, B. Admit it, you know he's not here to harm us. He's here to help. You're just trying to find a way to distance yourself from him, so you don't have to go and face him. That way, you don't have to apologise."
Buffy visibly deflated at Faith's words.
"Yeah well, I doubt he'll even want to speak to me after what I did this morning."
"What WE did, Buffy. You were not the only one at fault. Giles and I were as much at fault as you are."
"Thanks for helping, Wes. NOT!"
"Buffy."
Buffy looked up at her former lover as he rested a hand on her shoulder. She looked so small, her face marred by thick bags, a combination of lack of sleep and crying.
"I'm the first one to admit that last night's spectacle was way out of line, but then again, I was wrong too in attacking him. I knew he would never hurt you but seeing you in such a vulnerable position... It just got to me. And Xander has enough reasons to hate me. You all do. He's just a lot more outspoken about it. And now, he has the resources to back it up. Don't blame him for this. Don't blame yourself. Just forget about it and be happy that he is back. Find him and talk things out. You owe it to yourself to do that. Maybe even regain what you've lost. I've seen you, Buffy, you've been lost without him."
"Angel is right, Buffy. Xander's my best friend but he's so much more to you. Don't let this chance slip away. Try and regain some of what is lost and build from there. Do it for me, for all of us, but most of all, do it for yourself."
Willow pulled Buffy into a hug, both women holding on as if they were each other's lifeline.
"I'm scared, guys. What if I go to him and he rejects me? What then? I almost died the first time he left. I can't go through that again."
Nobody said anything as they pondered that question; what if Xander had already cut them out of his heart? What if he'd cut Buffy Summers completely out of his heart? Clearly, he was in town against his will. The dreams were what had brought him home after so long. Buffy had worked herself into exhaustion the first time he'd disappeared, tearing through town for any sign of him. When she'd recovered, she'd gone on a hunting spree of undead evil, the likes of which were still unbelievable. Taking risks that were irresponsible, skating on the edge of the abyss. Only her friends had managed to bring her back from the brink. Finally, she'd regained some semblance of sanity, but the remorse and feelings of loss were still there.
When Giles, Willow and Dawn had placed a memorial stone in the cemetery, Buffy had finally broken down and cried herself into a stupor that lasted weeks. Finally forcing herself to believe he was really and truly gone to her. Now, faced with the fact that he was alive and well, but so filled with anger and resentment towards her, those same feelings had returned with a vengeance. Knowing he was alive but still gone to her, with only a small possibility of forgiveness, was almost too much for her heart to take. Buffy knew that she couldn't take it if he left again. Her heart, that had taken so much effort to put back together again, couldn't take the thought of him hating her and leaving again. Buffy knew that if that happened, she would die. So she did the only thing she could. Buffy had closed her heart, built walls around it so nothing could harm her. But it wasn't enough. Not nearly enough.
"Wills, do you know where he's staying?"
"Yes, Buffy", Willow said, handing a piece of paper to her friend.
Buffy turned towards Faith, handing her the slip of paper. Faith silently accepted it, nodding her head.
"I'll talk to him, B. You'll see, things will work out fine."
"I hope you're right, Faith. I hope to God that you're right."
*** 1754 PM, July 13th, Jameson Trucking, Sunnydale, CA ***
Xander stood in the middle of the floor, breathing deeply. He'd already done his warmup exercises and was preparing for his martial arts exercises. He was standing in the ready position, breathing deeply.
Slowly, he brought his hands, from waist level, palms up, fingers pointing toward each other, up to the chest, while inhaling. Then he turned the palms outward towards his imaginary opponent, and slowly began pushing them forward, while exhaling, then forcefully completed the movement with both arms out in front, knife-hands pointing 45 degrees in and up, as if pushing his opponent away.
Xander moved smoothly into the first stance with a 90 degree left turn, moving his left foot into a left back stance, completing it with a double knife-hand block, his left hand pushed out forward, the right pressed into pit of his stomach. The movements sped up, as he placed more power behind them. He pivoted on his left foot, his right leg executing a low side kick, attacking the knee. Immediately followed by a right leg side kick to the upper body, without even setting it down. The right foot came down into a right forward stance, followed by a right single knife-hand in-to-out strike to the upper body, the palm down, arm straight out in front, the elbow straight.
He immediately punched out with his left hand towards the middle of his imaginary opponent's body; shifting his weight and feet back into a right back stance, Xander's right arm shot out, into an out-to-in block. This preceded his stepping back with his right foot and turning 180 degrees to the right as he pivoted on his left foot, moving his right foot into a right back stance as he again used a double knife-hand block.
Xander pivoted on his right foot, his left kicking out towards the knee again, then quickly moving upwards, delivering a powerful side kick to the upper body. He stepped down with his left foot into a left forward stance, following that up with a left single knife-hand in-to-out strike to the upper body, a right hand middle punch following up the devastating attack. He shifted back into a left back stance, his left arm extending into an out-to-in block, a 90 degree turn to the left, moving his left foot into a left forward stance, using the left arm for a low knife-hand block.
Immediately going into the offensive again, Xander's right hand made an attack towards the throat, following it up with a right leg front snap kick; he stepped down with his right foot into a right forward stance and right arm low knife-hand block, going into a left arc-hand attack to the throat again. A left leg front snap kick followed in rapid succession, flowing gracefully into a step down with his left foot into left forward stance.
He executed another left arm low knife-hand block and right arc-hand attack to the throat combination, shouting out his battlecry. Delivering a right leg front snap kick, Xander again stepped down with his right foot into a right forward stance. His next move pretended to break the opponent's knee with a left low arc-hand, holding the foot against his ribcage with his right hand. He moved his left foot a step forward, and pivoted on his right, turning his body towards the right 180 degrees, so that his right foot was now forward, facing South.
Following it up with another step down and back with his left foot into a right forward stance, he performed a double in-to-out middle block, fists crossing in front of him. Delivering a left leg front snap kick, Xander placed his feet into a left forward stance, again creating the movements to break his opponent's knee. He pulled his left foot back into a left walking stance, while performing a double in-to-out middle block, smoothly moving from defense to offense and back.
Xander performed another 180 degree turn right, using his left foot as axis, his right moving into a
horseback riding position. His left arm performed a single knife-hand side block, the palm down, elbow slightly bent, his right fist at his. From there, he performed a right hand cross-body side punch to the upper body, using his left hand as target, punching towards a westerly direction, both
arms held straight. Turning his upper body partially toward his opponent, with his feet still in the horseback riding position, Xander then sidestepped, crossing his right foot in front of the left, delivering a cross-body close front punch, forcefully moving his right fist with the palm up to the right hip, as if he was performing a rear elbow strike and moving his left fist across the front of his body towards the right hip, the palm down and his elbow bent at a 90 degree angle.
This was followed up by another left foot side kick to the upper body, another step down with his left foot, a turn to the right to an easterly direction, where he assumed a right forward stance, performing a left spear-hand attack to his opponent's groin while pulling his opponent's arm to his upper shoulder with his right. Pulling his right foot backwards into a right walking stance, Xander then made a right arm low block, following through with another step forward with his left foot into a left walking stance. A left hand low palm-fist block to block a low front kick rounded out his defense.
Xander stepped forward with his right foot, turning his hips towards the north into a horseback riding stance, his right arm performing a side elbow strike, supporting the right fist with left knife
hand's palm. From there a right arm single knife-hand side block, followed by a left hand cross-body side punch to the upper body, using the right hand to distract. He sidestepped, crossing his left foot in front of the right, performing a cross body close front punch. Another right foot side kick to the upper body, a step down with his right foot, and a turn to the left, assuming a left forward stance, his right spear-hand attacking the groin again, pulling his opponent's arm to his upper shoulder with the left.
The sound of applause stopped him in midmotion and made him turn around, confronting its source.
"What are you doing here, Faith?"
"Nice moves", she answered, ignoring his question, instead admiring his physique. Walking up to him, the dark haired slayer began circling him, trailing a finger over his chest, arms and back. His muscles were much more defined then she remembered, hinting at the power his body possessed. Shaking off the feelings her proximity and finger raised, he walked away from her, towards the fridge, pulling out a bottle of juice, throwing her a second bottle.
Faith deftly caught the bottle; they drank in silence, each eyeing the other. Faith couldn't get over the fact that her onetime boy toy had turned from a lanky teenager into a hardened warrior with a body that most women would drool over. If she was still the same person she'd been eight years ago, he'd be sweating from a different kind of workout right now.
Alex didn't like the fact that his hideout had been discovered but was glad that at least they hadn't send Buffy. As things stood now, it was a save bet one of them would not come out alive.
"Again, I ask, what are you doing here?"
"Well, would you believe I was in the neighborhood and wanted to chat about old times?"
"No. Let me guess, Willow?"
Knowing the question, she nodded.
"Yeah. Red always knew her way around a computer."
Faith suddenly began acting shy, her eyes moving all over the place instead of looking at Alex like she'd done before. It was clear she was uncomfortable for some reason. With a sigh, Alex threw the empty bottle into the thrash.
"Okay, what is it? You here to talk me into coming back to the group? Want me to go back and tell the others that I'm sorry? Because if that's the case, you can forget it."
"No, it's not that. It's... I...", Faith stuttered, then continued, "Look, I don't usually do this, so just listen and don't say a word. Okay?"
Intrigued, Alex nodded his ascent.
"Thanks", Faith said, softly, almost in a whisper, her eyes pointed at the floor.
To say that he was stunned, would have been an understatement. Alex looked at Faith openmouthed, his brain not able to process what had just happened. Finally, shaking his head to clear it from the fog that threatened to overwhelm it, he spoke, "Uhm, you're welcome, I think. What exactly are you thanking me for?"
"Well, Willow found this place coz of the account that paid its taxes and stuff. You know? The same account that's paying my college fees? The same one that's been depositing monthly payments into my account? That letter from the law firm that I got when I got out of prison, telling me that those monthly deposits were under the condition that I got my GED and into college? I figure that it's all your doing, so again, thanks."
Alex groaned out loud, cursing himself for his stupidity. A rookie mistake. A damn rookie mistake.
"I take it that if you know, the others do too, right?"
"Yeah."
"Crap!"
"Why are you saying that? Just because you made good on your promise? If it weren't for you, neither B, Dawn or me would have been able to go to school. None of us would have the chance at a normal life. I'd still be out there, playing around like a maniac, coz I wouldn't have a future. You gave me that future, Xander. Because of you, I'm looking forward to retiring from my slayer duties, just like Buffy and having a normal life. You gave that to me. You gave even more to B. and her sister! They've got a roof over their heads, food on the table. All bills paid, insurances filled out, money in the bank! Did you know B. has gotten several job offers right here in town? All because of you. So don't you start thinking that us knowing it is you is such a bad thing."
"Faith, spare me. I'm betting that the next time Buffy and I meet, she's gonna hit me again and tell me that she doesn't want my charity. That she's an independent woman and doesn't need a guy taking care of her and her sister like a sugar daddy. I'm so not in the mood for any of that crap, you know?"
He threw the towel he'd been using forcefully against a chair, leaning back against the fridge, head resting against the door, eyes closed. Throwing caution to the wind, Faith walked up to him, grabbing his head between her hands, forcing him to look at her.
"Xander, B. is mad at herself. She's mad because she thinks she drove you away. She's mad because she's been blaming herself for that. All these years, she hasn't stopped blaming herself. But because of her pride, she can't let go. That's why she's behaving like that, okay? She told me herself, so believe it. You don't know how hard she's had it since you've been gone; they thought you were dead when nothing they did could help locate you. I've been here six years and I've seen the way the group acts. It's like they're totally different persons from what I remember. All B. needs is for you to make the first step. Go and talk to her. Just sit down and talk to her. No shouting, no punching, no shooting people, just talking. Clear the air and move on from there."
"I take it the shooting Angel wasn't such a good idea, huh?"
"Whatever gave you that idea", Faith asked, softly smiling at Alex.
"Oh, I don't know, the fist in my face when I came in this afternoon."
"Yeah, well, you did deserve that. Angel may not be my favorite person, but he did help me get my act together and he's been very helpful to us over the years."
"I take it you want me to apologize to him?"
"That's between you and him. Like I said, he's not my favorite person in the world and I know you've got even less use for him. And from what I've heard, you and him have some kind of date. Kinky", Faith grinned.
"Yeah, kinky."
They were still standing that way, Alex leaning against the fridge, his face between Faith's hands. Their eyes were locked with each other and slowly, their faces seemed to be coming closer, moving into position for a kiss. Neither one was consciously thinking about what they were doing, it was as if something outside of them was compelling them to. When their lips were almost touching, both of them regained their senses. Faith started blushing as she quickly released his face and stepped back. Alex thought it was the cutest thing he'd ever seen, moreso since this was Faith, the woman whose mantra was 'Want! Take! Have!'. The attraction was still there, even after all these years.
"Okay, so you want me to go and talk to Buffy. Get things out in the open, clear the air, that sum it up", he asked, regaining his composure.
"Yeah, something like that", Faith said, walking around the room, fidgeting.
She still felt flustered about almost kissing Xander. It felt right to want it but it also felt wrong somehow. When she'd looked into his brown eyes, she'd seen the attraction there, the blatant arousal, fear, need and something else, something deeper. She was afraid of that something because Faith knew that she could get lost in it. And something told her that until Xander and Buffy had talked and started the healing, she shouldn't get pulled into that deeper feeling she'd seen in his eyes. A feeling that deep down, she felt too for this man. This man that had saved her one night, had tried to help her at the deepest point in her life, this man that she'd tried to kill. Things were just too damn complicated right now. And until it was all sorted out, Faith would hold back. It was the right thing to do.
"So, what was that kata you were doing? Looked very effective to me", she said, looking around the setup Xander had made.
"Not a kata, that's Japanese. This was a poomse, which, technically, is the Korean version. It's one of the more complicated ones, specifically the Koryo poomse, done for the black belt."
"So, a style pattern, then. Never had much use for those."
"That's were you are wrong, oh dark-haired goddess. It is a basic technique designed to center your being, to make you one with the elements. Things suddenly become clearer, more focused. It's the true spirit of martial arts, in this case, Tae Kwon-Do. This is not sport, this is combat; technique is not everything, you know. You need to know the spirit, feel it in you, course through you. Only then, can you defeat any opponent."
"Sounds like a lot of psychological crap to me, boy toy."
"Maybe, but I do know when I've done a few of them, I'm more focused then I've ever been."
"Maybe you should teach me a few of those moves. I could always use more focus. You wouldn't believe what kind of crap I'm getting in class", she sighed.
"Maybe I will, we'll see."
"Where did you learn all that stuff?"
"Spent a year in South Korea, courtesy of an exchange program for officers and NCO's. I was assigned duty with the White Skull Brigade."
"Sounds like something Giles would love to study", Faith chuckled.
An answering chuckle was heard as Alex stepped into the showerstall. The sound of running water drew Faith from her perusal of Xander's spartan living quarters and she walked over to the closed door of the bathroom.
"Hey boy toy! Want me to do your back", she said through the door.
"No thanks. I doubt I'd leave it at that, Faith. You're better than any Twinkie I've ever had and I don't want to tempt fate just now, no pun intended."
His laughter rang in her ears and brought an answering smile on Faith's lips.
"So you served with these White Skulls, huh? Guess they're some kind of special unit or something?"
"You could say that", Alex answered, very aware of Faith standing on the other side of the door. Cursing himself for not locking it, a small part of his brain was wondering if he hadn't closed it on purpose. This game he and Faith were playing was getting more and more dangerous by the minute.
"They're tasked with guard duty of the DMZ. Really bad boys; each member knows at least two forms of martial arts and they could give any slayer a run for their money. The only times I can remember being so severely beaten up was when I was sparring with Buffy. But it paid off in the end. Got my black belt in Tae Kwon-Do and learned Aikido and Tai Chi."
"So not a total waste of your time then, huh?"
"Nope, not at all."
Hearing the shower shut down, Faith moved away from the door, taking a seat behind the desk holding the computer and radio equipment. As she looked it all over, imprinting every detail in her mind for later disclosure with Giles and Willow, a split picture frame caught her eye. The first picture showed Xander in Marine cammies, with a five-man team of Marines, huddled together, laughing at the camera. They were all wearing packs and other gear and looked quite intimidating. From the background, it looked like some tropical country.
The other picture was also a group picture, taken at an airbase. Xander, dressed in a pilot's suit, stood with four other pilots and a beautiful, blonde woman, dressed in a clingy summer dress. He carried a helmet in one hand, the other wrapped around the woman's waist. She was seductively wrapped around him, a captivating smile lighting up her face.
"The one on the left is from my last recon platoon, back in South East Asia, just before I was shipped off to OCS. The one on the right, is from just before my deployment to carrier duty."
Faith looked up and behind her. She'd been so engrossed in the pictures that she didn't hear Xander walk up to her. Taking in his attire, she couldn't help but give a whistle of appreciation. The black T-shirt clung to his body like a second skin. The black combat pants hid his powerful legs but somehow, he made it look sexy. His short, spiked hair glistened softly, still slightly wet. Definite girl candy! If the others could see him now... Faith was sure Buffy, Dawn, Cordelia and Cassandra would be drooling right about now.
"So who's the blonde?"
"Which one?"
Looking back at the pictures, she noticed that indeed there were two blondes in the right picture.
"The one in the flightsuit is Captain Alexandra Jensen, callsign Ice. She's the squadron XO. The lady in the dress is Kate, our den mother, confidante and muse. She owns a bar in Pensacola, the Bucket; it's been a jet jock watering hole for decades. She's got this amazing ability to see right through you and get to the heart of the problem."
Noticing the fond smile as he spoke of Kate, Faith couldn't help but feel a stab of jealousy.
"Sounds like a great lady."
"She is. She also likes to play with your head. I owe a lot to her and the others, they've been there for me when I needed someone", Alex said wistfully.
Seeing that Xander was beginning to fall back into a melancholy state, Faith quickly changed the subject, pointing to the helmet he was carrying in the picture.
"What's that symbol on your helmet?"
"Oh, that. That's just the symbol for my callsign", Alex answered grinning.
After waiting a few heartbeats for any more information, Faith got impatient and lightly elbowed Xander in the ribs.
"Spill!"
"Okay, okay, no need to get violent. My callsign is Gunny."
"Gunny? Coz you love guns?"
"No, because I was a Gunnery Sergeant before I went to flight school."
Remembering that she'd seen this in his personnel file, Faith nodded.
"You know, something is still bothering me, boy toy."
"What's that?"
"How can you afford all of this? Between sending me, B. and Dawn through college, the monthly payments and all the other stuff, it must be a fortune you're spending. Then this place here. I'm not the smartest girl on the block but even I know that soldiers don't make that kind of money. Where do you get it, Xand?"
Running a hand through his hair, Alex sighed before answering Faith's question.
"Let's just say that during my career, I've done some 'outside jobs' for certain parties. All highly illegal, all dealing with certain supernatural crises. I made it clear that the only way I would do those jobs was if I got a certain amount of compensation."
Faith was furious when she heard this, her thoughts immediately turning to the stories she'd been told about the Initiative. If Xander had done stuff for them..
"Faith, there is nothing to worry about. I mostly worked for the Watcher's Council. Did some work for wealthy individuals, who'd been harassed by certain gangs of demons and stuff like that. They're all major contributors to the Council. Mostly, it was just retrieval stuff, getting artifacts for the Council that shouldn't be in demon hands."
"Xander, for your sake, I hope you're right. If I find out that you've been working for the other side, you don't have to worry about B. kicking your sorry ass, coz I will."
"Noted and logged, Faith dear. Don't worry about it."
Faith was sure he didn't lie to her, but she needed to say it nonetheless. She still wasn't too fond of the Council, but it was the others he'd worked for that worried her. Maybe she could get it out of him, make sure that nothing would come back to bite them. As she was thinking all of this, Faith watched as Xander got ready for patrol.
Alex pulled on a combat vest, loaded with stakes, vials of holy water and other implements of the trade. Next came two of the same knives he'd used so efficiently the night before, attached to his hips on opposite sides. Two guns were placed in the attached shoulder holsters, the front pockets filled with spare clips. A H&K MP5PDW came next, attached to the tactical sling, just underneath the right-side gun holster. Spare clips sat on the left side of the vest. The last item was the long black leather duster Alex pulled on; it covered all the hardware quite nicely.
"Looks like you're ready to wage war on a small nation, Xan. Care if I tag along?"
"Shouldn't you be with the rest of the Scoobies? Wouldn't want to be seen consorting with the enemy, Faith. You know what happened last time."
The moment those words left his mouth, Alex wished he could take them back, especially as he saw the hurt look cross Faith's face.
"I'm sorry, Faith, that was uncalled for."
"No, it isn't, Xander, you were right. But the difference now is that you're not evil. You could have stayed away but you decided to come back to stop whatever it is that's in town. Even though you knew you'd run into problems with the old gang. Besides, I already told the others that I'm patrolling with you."
"Fair enough. But do me a favor, stop calling me Xander. That's a part of my life that is death. I'd like to keep it that way. I go by Alex now", he said as he turned to the motorcycle and started it up. Faith walked up and sat down behind him, slipping her arms around his waist.
"Sorry boy toy, you'll always be Xander to me, so you better get used to it again."
"Faith", he answered in a whiny voice, looking at her.
"Live with it. Just one thing I'm curious about."
"Another thing? Jeez, you can't seem to stop finding things curious. What now?"
"How come those vamps and demons you shot earlier either exploded or burned and when you shot Angel, he just bled?"
"Changed clips; most ammo I carry has a holy water- napalm combo center. It hits the target, the bullet expands. The holy water comes free, spreading through the body with the bullet fragments, causing the vamp's body to start burning from the inside. The napalm too spreads and keeps burning. It also toasts other kinds of demons pretty well, don't you think?"
With those last words, Alex revved the engine and drove out into the night, Faith's body pressed tightly against his. Her earlier words mingled in his mind and he decided to heed her advice.