Chapter 11
*** 1637 PM, July 14th, Magic Box, Sunnydale, CA ***
Willow stepped inside, after watching her lifelong friend walk away, his shoulders slumped. She felt bad for telling him about the aftermath of his departure, but it was the only way she could think of to get him back. There was so much anger and resentment in him, much of it deserved but it was time for all of them to heal. And if it took telling him the state Buffy had been in, then so be it. Xander had always had a soft spot for the stubborn Slayer; how many times had he not put his life at risk to save hers. Or the way they argued? Nobody dared to talk back to Buffy Summers, lest they incur her wrath. Nobody except Xander. He'd tell her exactly what he thought about her behavior, point out her faults, tell her to get her head on straight. Of all of them, Xander was the only one who would go toe to toe with Buffy.
"Wills? You okay?"
Buffy's voice shook the redhead out of her thoughts. Looking up into Buffy's eyes, Willow noticed how red they were as well as the puffiness beneath her eyes. Her friend had been crying and it hurt Willow more then she could bear. Instinctively, she reached out, pulling Buffy into a tight hug.
"What was that for?"
"You looked like you needed it, Buffy", Willow said, motioning to her puffy eyes.
"Yeah, well, I was watching some tearjerker movie in back. You know how I get from one of those sappy stories."
"Sure you do", Willow said, a knowing smile lighting her face.
"It wouldn't have anything to do with me meeting up with Xander, now would it?"
"What made you think that? Do I look like I care what he does", Buffy asked defiantly, although her eyes spoke quite the opposite.
Willow noticed it too, giving her best friend her resolve-face. And as usual, it worked perfectly. Buffy walked away from her and sat down heavily at the table near the bookcases, resting her head on her arms.
"Fine! Fine already! I do care! So just shoot me for caring for the dumb jerk, okay? He comes back after all these years and what happens? My whole life is thrown back into a turmoil! As if my life isn't complicated enough, he comes back from wherever, throwing everything I've worked for into a blender and hits frappe!"
The blonde Slayer looked up, fresh tears coursing down her face.
"He hates me, doesn't he?"
Willow was by her side in seconds, wrapping her arms around Buffy, hugging her.
"No, he doesn't hate you. He's angry, Buffy. That's all there is to it. He's angry and he has every right to be so. You know that, we've talked about it before. But give it some time, he'll come around. You'll see, in a few days, he's going to be coming in here, driving us all crazy with his antics again. It'll be like the old days."
"You sure", Buffy asked in a small voice.
"Buffy, I know so. Right now, things are tense between all of us. You don't put 8 years of anger and resentment behind you like that. He and I talked today. We spent the day together, getting to know each other again. He and I, we're good now. Not like in the old days, but it'll get there. And he is going to want to talk to you. Soon. He just has a lot of things to work through at the moment. Just like the rest of us."
Willow offered Buffy a tissue and after several minutes of silence, Buffy had managed to regain her composure.
"So, what did you do today?"
"Well, we went to the park, talked, I had a breakdown, complete with babbling and lots of hugging. Then we went and had a late lunch at Mama Doria's. After that, we walked back here, talking."
"So, you had a breakdown too, huh?"
"Yep! It wasn't pretty. Tears so don't go with my complexion."
"What", Willow asked her friend, after noticing the arched eyebrow Buffy was giving her.
"Oh, nothing. Just wondering if you're channeling Cordelia."
Willow started spluttering, trying to form a coherent sentence.
"That is a mean thing to say, Summers!"
"Hey, I'm not the one talking about my complexion, Rosenburg!"
The two friends looked at each other before bursting into laughter. When after several minutes, it had finally subsided and they both had managed some semblance of control, Buffy asked the one question that was on her mind as she had watched Xander walking away.
"Hey Wills, just now, before he left, what did you tell Xander that caused him to go white as a sheet?"
Willow nearly dropped the bottle of water she got from the small fridge at Buffy's question.
"Willow?"
"I- uhm.. I asked him if he.. if he... he wanted to come in and talk to you? Yes, if he wanted to come in and talk to you."
Giving the witch an appraising look, Buffy shook her head.
"Nope, try again, Wills. You are no good at lying. You should never play poker, you'd lose every time. So, what did you tell him?"
"Nothing, I swear", Willow said with a panic-filled voice.
"Wills?"
Buffy stood in front of her friend, eyebrows raised, waiting for an answer. Finally, Willow broke under Buffy's scrutiny.
"I might have told him... that is, I might have let it slip that..."
"Willow Rosenburg, I am waiting."
"I might have mentioned what happened to you after you fought those Gra'Loch demons and that you have feelings for him", she finished in a small voice, not daring to look up at her friend.
Buffy, for her part, was shocked. It felt as if she'd been kicked in the chest by a mule.
"Please, no, tell me you didn't..."
Willow was by her side in a flash, helping Buffy to sit down again as it seemed all her strength had left her.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Buffy, but I had to tell him. I had to make him understand. You're both hurting so much over this. I can't stand to see my friends hurt, you know that. I just wanted him to know how much of an impact he has on your life. Maybe that way, he can take the next step. Before, he didn't want to even see you. He didn't want me to even mention your name! Now he knows how much him leaving hurt you, he might get over his fears and finally talk to you."
Willow hugged Buffy tightly to her, stroking her back and hair.
"You've both been hurt by this mess. We all have but you and Xander most of all. It's time to heal the wounds, Buffy. The way to do that is to get everything out in the open. No secrets. Just honesty. He has a right to know what happened."
"I know you're right, Wills. It's just ..."
"It's just what, Buffy? You think you have to be strong all the time? You think that you're the only one who can carry the burden of being the Slayer? You think that you have to be alone for the rest of your life, just because of what your destiny is? Well, guess what? You don't have to be the strong one all the time. You have friends to rely on, to lean on. How many times have we leaned on you for support, hmm? How many times have you been there for all of us?
You're not the only Slayer anymore, either. There's Faith and Cassandra. And what about Xander? In his own way, he too is protecting the world. Maybe not from Hellspawn but from people who think that their way of thinking is the only way and everyone who doesn't think like that should be killed. In a way, they are worse then any demons we've come across."
"I know all that, Willow. Believe me, I do. But don't you get it? I'm scared!"
With this revelation, Buffy Summers jumped up from her chair and started pacing around the store.
"I'm scared, Willow. I nearly got myself killed the first time he left. I'm scared that if I let him in and he leaves again, I won't survive. My mom raised me to be a strong woman; it took a lot of hard work to get to the point that I could be what mom raised me to be and I'm afraid that I can't be that strong woman if I open up again. To anyone."
"So just because you're scared to love Xander, you're willing to let all the anger between you two continue to grow?"
"Willow! Of course I love him! I love you! I love Giles! Hell, I even love Faith, crazy and exhibionist she may be. It's just...."
"It's just that you are also IN love with Xander Harris, Buffy. Don't look at me like that. Did you think we didn't know? We've known for years, Buffy. Nobody would go through what you did for a friend, no matter how good of a friend it is. I was devastated when he left, but you were beyond that."
"What?"
Willow couldn't help the small smile of triumph at her friend's incredulous looking face.
"Admit it, Buff, you're in love with the Xand-Man. He rocks your world, tilts it upside down, sideways from Sunday. That's why you're so scared right now. That's why you're trying so hard to keep distance in your heart, instead of going with what it says to you."
Silence reigned for several long moments as Buffy Summers tried to reconcile what her mind was saying with what she felt in her heart. Willow silently watched the raging battle of emotions in her friend, hoping that Buffy would finally let go of the past.
"I'm doomed, aren't I?"
"No, you just need to let go of the past, Buffy. Let go of all the pain, anger and resentment. Then start accepting what is in your heart."
There was a tense silence as Buffy contemplated Willow's words, then she looked up into her friend's eyes.
"I do love him, as my best friend. But more then that, I am in love with him, Wills. I see couples walking down the street and in my mind, I see me and Xander in their place. And I'm scared because I don't know if he still feels the same way. And I know that he is The One. And if he doesn't feel the same way about me, then there's nothing left for me. I'll be alone for the rest of my life because nobody else measures up to him."
Willow was floored by Buffy's words; she and the others had known that Buffy had strong feelings regarding Xander. They all knew she was in love with him, although she never had said it in so many words. But having a breakdown like the one she'd had, not to mention the short string of one-night dates were all clear indications of Buffy's feelings. And the lack of any real smiles like the ones Xander brought to her lips was another clear indication of how bad Buffy Summers had it. But this was the first time Buffy herself had said it. It was the first time she had even admitted that, for her, it was Xander and no one else. Every girl, every woman knew what 'The One' meant.
"Buffy, you and him need to talk. Really talk. Get it out in the open. Rant, rave, scream and throw things but you have to really talk about your feelings. That's the only way you'll be able to go forward."
"I know, believe me, I know. But what if he doesn't feel the same way anymore? It's been years."
"Well, that is the chance you will have to take, Buff. But you have to take the first step and that is to get back the friendship you once had. Once you've got that, you can build from there, one step at a time. If you are meant to be together, the feelings between the two of you will continue to grow."
"When did you get to be so wise", Buffy asked Willow as they hugged.
"Just call me Obi-Wan Rosenburg, student of Yoda Giles and friend to Harris Skywalker and Princess Buffy Organa."
Giles and Wesley walked into the shop to the sound of laughter.
*** 2213 PM, July 14th, Magic Box, Sunnydale, CA ***
The Scooby Gang reconvened at Giles' shop after patrol. The night had been eerily quiet, not a trace of any vampires or other demons anywhere. At any other time, this would have been more then enough to give them pause, instinctively knowing that something big was brewing. But with everything that had happened in the past few days, they knew for certain that whatever was coming their way, would be bigger then any threat they'd faced before. It was a sobering experience.
"You know what I hate about these kinds of situations? The damn waiting. It's not enough that we have no idea who or what we're up against, they have to play games with us too", Cassandra grunted as she slammed her weapons into the locker with more force then was necessary.
"I think it's written somewhere in the Demon's Guide to Evilness on how to treat the good guys."
"Cordelia is right. I think it's Chapter 14, How to aggravate, annoy, confuse, befuddle and generally play with the good guy's heads", Dawn chimed in, high-fiving with the former May Queen.
"Yeah, well, it still sucks. I'm all worked up; need to burn off some steam before I go mad here."
"I'm sure you and I can come up with a few ways to vent all that energy, pet."
"Spike, I'm sure there are girls out there who fall all over themselves when you talk like that, but rest assured, I'm not one of them", Cassandra said annoyed as she lightly punched the vampire.
"Aah, you know you want to, Cas. Just admit it, if not to me, then to yourself. We can have such good times", he continued, waggling his eyebrows at her.
With a disgusted snort, Cassandra turned away from him and sat down in one of the chairs around the research table.
"Not to be the one to add to the Doom-and-Gloom mood we're in, but shouldn't Faith and Xander have been back by now", Buffy asked from her place at the table.
"I'm sure they're alright, Buffy", Willow said, sending her an encouraging smile.
While the girls were talking, Angel motioned Giles and Wesley over to the other side of the store.
"I ran into an old contact of mine here tonight."
"I take it this old contact had some news?"
"I'm not sure, Wes. He said he couldn't talk then but wanted to meet with me later. Said he had some information for me regarding the current situation. I'm going over there in a few minutes."
"It could be a trap. Wesley and I already think this whole situation is some form of divide-and-conquer strategy that our opponent is weaving around us. A series of confrontations designed to do who knows what."
"I know it could be a trap, Giles. I also know right now, we don't have any information save the supposed look of this guy. Any scrap of information is welcome."
Giles sighed as he removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"You are not going alone to this meeting, Angel."
"I think I can handle myself, Giles."
"I have no doubt of that, Angel, but I would feel better if you had backup. We can't afford to loose anyone now, if indeed this is a trap."
"I'll go with him", Wesley offered.
"Excellent, Wesley. Take the radios with you and keep an open line at all times. If things look to go bad, call me immediately."
With a curt nod, both men walked to the door and went outside.
"Where are they going, Giles", Tara asked softly as she walked up to him, rubbing her arms as if to ward off a chill.
Looking down at the worried face of the blond Wicca, Giles allowed a soft smile to graze his lips. Pulling her against him in a one-armed hug, he again marveled at how much he'd come to think of this motley crew as his children. He surely couldn't love any of them any less as if they were his own.
"Angel and Wesley are going to meet an old informant of Angel's. Seems that person might know something that could help us in our current predicament."
"Giles?"
"Yes, Tara?"
"I'm scared. I mean, whenever we're fighting, I'm scared but this time... It's different. I have this feeling of impending doom. Even more so then when we were fighting Glory."
"I know how you feel, Tara. I feel the same way every time. But you know what? Every time, we come through it without problem. I know that this time is no different."
"You know or you hope?"
"Hope is all we have got, child. It's all we've got", Giles said, softly squeezing her shoulder.
At that moment, the bell hanging above the door opened, revealing Faith and Xander as they entered the store, laughing.
"Tell me you're kidding! There is NO way that could have happened!"
"I'm telling you, Faith, THAT is exactly how it happened."
"Well, look who's decided to grace us with their presence", an angry Buffy Summers grated out as she watched the easy camaraderie between Faith and Xander.
"Chill, B. We've just been passing the time telling war stories. Xander's got a ton of them and with no action out there all night, it's a way to pass the time", Faith shot back, both happy and angered as she clearly saw the jealousy radiating off of the other Slayer.
"So neither of you ran into any trouble on your patrol, I take it?"
"Didn't I just say that, G? Nothing, nada, zip, zilch. It's like all the nightly residents of SunnyHell decided tonight is a good night to watch tv."
"From the way you're pinching the bridge of your nose, Giles, I take it nobody else tangled with said nightly residents?"
"And you would be correct in that assumption, Alex."
"The eye of the storm", Tara interjected as she sat down next to Willow, taking the redhead's hand in hers.
"Excuse me? Eye of the storm?"
"What Tara means is that the eye of the storm, that is the middle part of it. That part is always calm; it means that things are going to get worse soon. Probably sooner than we think."
"I can imagine. I've flown through a few storms myself. Not something I'd like to repeat any time soon."
"Awww, is poor Xander a widdle scared of the wind", Buffy baited him, her eyes narrowed as she noticed how close him and Faith were standing.
Oblivious to her stare, Alex just grunted and continued to talk.
"Nope, not at all, it's just that landing at night, in a storm, on the deck of a carrier, that looks no bigger than a postage stamp, and is pitching from side to side like a rollercoaster, is a good way to get yourself killed. I've seen it happen. You misjudge the angle or a sudden wind shear comes along and your aircraft just slams into the steel of the deck. Before you know it, you're lighting up like it's the Fourth of July. You just hope that the poor bastard got killed by the crash coz burning to death in an inferno of jet fuel is not a nice way to go."
Alex's words caused everyone to quiet down as they saw his eyes mist over, indicating he was reliving these memories again. Buffy gave Willow and Tara a remorseful look, knowing exactly what the two Wicca's were telling her with their pointed looks. Faith just gently squeezed Alex's shoulder.
"A friend of yours", Dawn asked in a soft voice.
"No, not really, just a nugget. A rookie pilot who was there with his class to train in carrier landings", Alex clarified. "He'd already qualified for daytime landings and it was time for the nighttime landings. Kid was edgy all the way through. The storms were a hundred miles out so it was decided to get in the first batch of night landing quals. Somehow though, the storm had another idea and suddenly, we're right in the middle of it. All the others made it down without a hitch but when he came in.... I still don't know what happened and I was standing right next to the LSO on deck.
His approach was good, he was right in the middle of the glide scope... Landing gear and hook were in the out position and he had called the ball. Then it all went to Hell... It was as if a giant hand lifted the carrier right out of the water into the kid's path. Before we could call a wave-off..."
"Come on, Boy-toy, forget about stuff like that, okay? Shit happens to good people and you can think about it all the time but it'll just make you go crazy. I know", Faith said, squeezing his hand softly.
Alex looked at the raven-haired beauty next to him, her eyes conveying the truth to her words. He knew that she could see the same truth reflected in his eyes. Squeezing her hand softly, he acknowledged her silent support.
"Enough of this gloom and doom. Why don't you tell them that story you just told me? I'm betting they'll get a kick out of it, just like I did."
"Just shows you how low your standards are regarding the art of comedy, Faith."
"And this from the man whose wardrobe suggested he spent his money at Clowns 'R Us", Faith countered.
"Faith, do not dare to bring up the clowns. You're not too big to get a spanking for that."
"How do you know that's not what I'm aiming for", Faith asked, throwing a sexy leer over her shoulder as she walked to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water.
Buffy was quietly seething at this point; her stomach felt as if someone had dropped a large stone into it and her brain burned with jealousy. The worst part of it was that she knew she deserved these feelings. If she hadn't treated Xander the way she had in the past, if she had just shown him how much he really meant to her, then none of this would be happening. Not his departure, not the anger and resentment he held for her. If she hadn't driven him away, those looks he now shared with Faith would have been hers. So many maybe's and what if's.... So many mistakes, all made with the best of intentions. But wasn't that how it always happened?
"Come on, Xander! Please? Just for me? Please?"
"Not the puppy-dog look! You don't fight fair, Dawn-patrol. You know I don't stand a chance against it!"
"I know", Dawn stated, grinning. "They say turnabout is fair play, Xan. How many times did you use it on me, hmm?"
With a grin, Alex pulled the younger Summers into a hug, kissing her hair.
"Alright, alright already. You win! Happy now?"
"Nope, you still haven't told us the story that caused Faith to giggle like a schoolgirl."
"Hey", came the indignant reply, "I don't giggle!"
"You so do giggle, you crazy Slayer-chick, you", countered Dawn, sticking out her tongue.
"Children, children, please. Behave yourselves and uncle Alex will tell you a funny story."
Dawn and Faith shared a triumphant look and immediately turned to Alex, putting on their best remorseful face. The fact that the object those faces were aimed at, burst into laughter, caused the others to start laughing as well.
"You two can't pull off looking sorry if the Devil himself was after you right now."
"Hey, I'll have you know this face always works on the teachers!"
"Yeah, sure, you betcha", Alex countered, getting his laughter under control.
"So, Xander, what is this story they're so hot about hearing?"
"Patience, Willow, patience. A story is like a fine wine. You have to savor it, know how to bring out it's bouquet, otherwise it falls flat on its face."
"Since when did you become a wine connoisseur, Xander? I thought you only drank root beer?"
"Hush, woman", Alex mock-glared at a grinning Tara. "I'll have you know that I'm an expert at the art of wine-tasting."
"Yep, you're an expert alright. On cock-and-bull stories, Xan", Buffy said, trying to interject herself into the lighthearted banter.
"You dare mock the great bard himself, wench? Harrumph!"
With an angry glare, Alex turned his back on the others. Giles, watching the exchange between his children, could do nothing but smile and shake his head. It seemed like old times again. He, for one, was glad things seemed to be turning back to normal. Or at least as normal as on a Hellmouth. Even the pleading of the girls as they tried to appease Xander so he would tell a story was reminiscent of old times.
"Oh, very well then", Alex stated in a proper voice as he turned around. "I shall magnanimously bow to your pleas and relate to you a story of woe."
Another round of laughter rang through the shop at his words and stiff movements.
"Once upon a time, there was a small band of courageous men. Warriors were they, these courageous men, called upon to defend the innocent, the downtrodden. They were send to a land faraway from their shores, a land on the eastern part of what is now called Europe. In this land, there were a great many people, encompassing several religions. And all these people with their different religions, different customs, they didn't see eye to eye. No, they would rather gouge out the other's eyeballs."
Buffy, Faith, Willow, Tara, Cassandra, Cordelia and Dawn were all sitting on the edge of their seats as Alex continued his story; even Giles was listening attentively, so drawn in was he by it.
"Now, these courageous men, these warriors, had come there to keep the peace. One day, they were summoned to meet their leader, another warrior. A man they respected for his courage, his integrity and honor. This man, this leader of men, ordered them to go out and search for the enemies of peace. So out they went. After several days of marching through the cold, wet winter countryside, of eating C-rations and drinking instant coffee, they suddenly came upon an old wooden cabin, built into the side of a mountain.
Now, this mountain these courageous men, these warriors were on, afforded them a clear view of the valley and everything else for many miles. They could even see their main compound from there. It was a good place for the evildoers to put up an observation post. The warrior in charge of this small band of brothers-in-arms decided that it would be in their interest to search the cabin.
Taking point, he climbed down the slope of the mountain and landed on the roof, the others following him. From the rooftop, he swung down onto the rickety balcony and looked into the windows. Now understand, this cabin was old, very old and had seen better days. It looked like it could fall apart at any time. The paint was gone, windows were all broken, the wood was rotten in places.
Slowly, they made their way into the cabin, searching every room on the top floor. Then, the teamleader stepped into the last room...."
Alex stopped his narration, sitting back with a smug look on his face. It didn't take long for the others to grow frustrated and yell at him to continue. Raising his hands placatingly, a sardonic smile on his lips, he continued.
"When this group of courageous men reported back to their leader at their camp, their report read as follows:
'At 1553, Gunnery Sergeant Harris searched and cleared the third floor; at 1553, Gunnery Sergeant Harris searched and cleared the second floor of said cabin; at 1553, Gunnery Sergeant Harris searched and cleared the first floor; at 1553, Gunnery Sergeant Harris searched and cleared the basement. At 1555, the cabin collapsed.'"
Silence reigned for several moments as the Scoobies looked at each other, not knowing what exactly had happened. Suddenly, the silence was broken. As one, they turned towards the source of the strange sound. Everybody watched in amazement as Rupert Giles, the epitome of British conduct, tried valiantly to contain his laughter but failed to cover up his snorts.
"Oh to hell with it", he exclaimed and started roaring with laughter.
*** 2247 PM, July 14th, Magic Box, Sunnydale, CA ***
After everyone had given their account of the night's activities, the group had again tried to find any information regarding their opponent. However, it became rapidly apparant that without any new information, no headway would be made. Giles had decided that everyone should get going to get some rest, after telling them that Angel and Wesley were going to meet up with a source. As everyone started to slowly make their way to the door, Buffy hesitantly walked over to the table Alex was standing next to, checking his gear. Fidgeting, she stood behind him, trying to think of an opening line. Several times, she tried to say something, before chickening out and shutting her mouth again.
'God, I've never been this tongue-tied before', she scolded herself. 'There used to be a time when I would just walk up to a guy and talk to him. Now look at me! I'm pathetic. He's supposed to be my best friend and I'm afraid to even say hi to him!'
"Are you going to just stand there and wring your hands all night long? Or are you going to do as Giles said and go home to get some rest?"
"Huh?"
Buffy broke loose from her frantic thoughts and looked up, straight into Xander's brown eyes. Sometime, during her inner monologue, he'd finished whatever it had been that he was doing and had turned around, facing her, his arms crossed in front of him.
"Well, yeah, I am. It's just... I wanted to..."
'Aaah! Get a grip, girl!'
"Xander, I think we need to talk."
'There now, that wasn't so bad, was it? Now all he has to do is agree and then you ask him over. Oh God, he's looking at me like I'm crazy or something!'
"Uhm, what I mean is, you've been away for a while and we've not had a chance to catch up and... Things happened and we...", Buffy trailed off, mentally kicking herself.
"I mean, I know things aren't good between us. I was hoping that maybe, we could talk. You know, try to work things out? I've heard that talking about stuff helps to get problems and such out of the way."
Alex took in her stance, the bowed head, eyes seemingly examining the floor, the hands wringing together. Buffy Summers looked like some high school kid, standing in the principal's office, awaiting punishment. He decided then and there that he wasn't going to make it any easier for her, no matter how much she tried to look like a wounded puppy. The woman in front of him had hurt him too much. Even if doing so hurt him just as much as she was hurting.
"Why would you assume that I want to talk to you at all, Slayer?"
Buffy's face raised in shock at his use of the word Slayer instead of her name, her blue-green eyes meeting his brown ones. The tone was reminiscent of the ones used by the vampires and demons she fought every night. Trying valiantly to keep her voice steady and not give in to the tears threatening to fall from his harsh tone, she pressed on.
"I know that I hurt you. I know that you feel I betrayed you. I'm just asking for a chance to talk, a chance to explain my reasons to you. Call it closure. Call it cleaning the slate. Call it what you will. I just want a chance for you to hear me out. If, after that, you decide that you don't want anything to do with me, so be it. I won't bother you again. But just give me a chance. Please."
Alex stared at her in silence, taking in Buffy's words, her stance, everything about her. Willow's words came to his mind unbidden as he saw her try and fail to stop the tears from escaping. Buffy looked miserable and as it had always done in the past, it tugged at his heart. Only an iron will, forged in the heat of battle, held him in place, stopping him from wrapping his arms around her lithe frame. With great difficulty, Alex turned around, walking towards the shop's entrance.
"Xander, please!"
Buffy's heart hitched, as her throat seemed to constrict as she watched him walk away.
"Xander, please, I'm asking... No, I'm begging you! Give me a chance to make it up to you! I'll get down on my knees if I have to! Please, just give me a chance...", she finished, choking back a sob.
Alex turned around at her last words, watching her through narrowed eyes. The strong girl he'd once known looked to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown, tears streaming down her face. Buffy's chest was heaving, as if she'd run a marathon at full speed, her face red from the strain. It broke his resolve and Alex felt like a bastard for putting her through this. He could feel her pain as if it were his own. It took him several swallows before he was certain he could speak without breaking his voice.
"Fine. State your case."
Buffy felt as if a weight had been lifted from her chest at his words. Taking a deep breath, she looked him straight in the eyes.
"Could we... I mean... I was hoping that... Could you come over tomorrow night? For dinner, I mean? I'd cook, we eat, then we talk? Tonight's just... everything is so intense right now, you know? Please?"
Taking a moment to think over her question, Alex's military mind wanted to just get it over with right here and now. Let the chips fall where they may. But instead, he let his heart answer this one time. Tensions were too high right now and they both needed to be calm when the time came for the inevitable meeting.
"Alright, I'll come over."
"Great! Around seven?", Buffy asked, her heart giving a small flutter of elation, her voice pitched a few octaves higher then usual.
"Fine. I'll be there", Alex said, removing a small businesscard from a pocket and handing it to her.
"This is my cellphone number. If anything comes up, anything at all, call me. I'm not planning on standing in front of your door, waiting, while you're off somewhere."
Visibly wincing under the blatant dig, Buffy took the card and put it into her pocket. Not trusting her voice at that moment, she nodded in affirmation. Just then, Giles walked back into the shop after seeing the others off safely, noticing the heightened tension between the two.
"Is everything alright here?"
"Just peachy", Alex stated as he walked out the door, reigning in his emotions.
Giles looked between his charge, who looked to be about to fall apart and the young man he thought of as a son as he disappeared into the night. Something monumental had happened here; the tension lingering in the room was thick and cloying. Walking over to Buffy, he wrapped his arms around her into a comforting hug. This action caused the young woman to finally release all the pent up tension and emotion in her body as he could feel the sobs wracking her small frame.
*** 1637 PM, July 14th, Magic Box, Sunnydale, CA ***
Willow stepped inside, after watching her lifelong friend walk away, his shoulders slumped. She felt bad for telling him about the aftermath of his departure, but it was the only way she could think of to get him back. There was so much anger and resentment in him, much of it deserved but it was time for all of them to heal. And if it took telling him the state Buffy had been in, then so be it. Xander had always had a soft spot for the stubborn Slayer; how many times had he not put his life at risk to save hers. Or the way they argued? Nobody dared to talk back to Buffy Summers, lest they incur her wrath. Nobody except Xander. He'd tell her exactly what he thought about her behavior, point out her faults, tell her to get her head on straight. Of all of them, Xander was the only one who would go toe to toe with Buffy.
"Wills? You okay?"
Buffy's voice shook the redhead out of her thoughts. Looking up into Buffy's eyes, Willow noticed how red they were as well as the puffiness beneath her eyes. Her friend had been crying and it hurt Willow more then she could bear. Instinctively, she reached out, pulling Buffy into a tight hug.
"What was that for?"
"You looked like you needed it, Buffy", Willow said, motioning to her puffy eyes.
"Yeah, well, I was watching some tearjerker movie in back. You know how I get from one of those sappy stories."
"Sure you do", Willow said, a knowing smile lighting her face.
"It wouldn't have anything to do with me meeting up with Xander, now would it?"
"What made you think that? Do I look like I care what he does", Buffy asked defiantly, although her eyes spoke quite the opposite.
Willow noticed it too, giving her best friend her resolve-face. And as usual, it worked perfectly. Buffy walked away from her and sat down heavily at the table near the bookcases, resting her head on her arms.
"Fine! Fine already! I do care! So just shoot me for caring for the dumb jerk, okay? He comes back after all these years and what happens? My whole life is thrown back into a turmoil! As if my life isn't complicated enough, he comes back from wherever, throwing everything I've worked for into a blender and hits frappe!"
The blonde Slayer looked up, fresh tears coursing down her face.
"He hates me, doesn't he?"
Willow was by her side in seconds, wrapping her arms around Buffy, hugging her.
"No, he doesn't hate you. He's angry, Buffy. That's all there is to it. He's angry and he has every right to be so. You know that, we've talked about it before. But give it some time, he'll come around. You'll see, in a few days, he's going to be coming in here, driving us all crazy with his antics again. It'll be like the old days."
"You sure", Buffy asked in a small voice.
"Buffy, I know so. Right now, things are tense between all of us. You don't put 8 years of anger and resentment behind you like that. He and I talked today. We spent the day together, getting to know each other again. He and I, we're good now. Not like in the old days, but it'll get there. And he is going to want to talk to you. Soon. He just has a lot of things to work through at the moment. Just like the rest of us."
Willow offered Buffy a tissue and after several minutes of silence, Buffy had managed to regain her composure.
"So, what did you do today?"
"Well, we went to the park, talked, I had a breakdown, complete with babbling and lots of hugging. Then we went and had a late lunch at Mama Doria's. After that, we walked back here, talking."
"So, you had a breakdown too, huh?"
"Yep! It wasn't pretty. Tears so don't go with my complexion."
"What", Willow asked her friend, after noticing the arched eyebrow Buffy was giving her.
"Oh, nothing. Just wondering if you're channeling Cordelia."
Willow started spluttering, trying to form a coherent sentence.
"That is a mean thing to say, Summers!"
"Hey, I'm not the one talking about my complexion, Rosenburg!"
The two friends looked at each other before bursting into laughter. When after several minutes, it had finally subsided and they both had managed some semblance of control, Buffy asked the one question that was on her mind as she had watched Xander walking away.
"Hey Wills, just now, before he left, what did you tell Xander that caused him to go white as a sheet?"
Willow nearly dropped the bottle of water she got from the small fridge at Buffy's question.
"Willow?"
"I- uhm.. I asked him if he.. if he... he wanted to come in and talk to you? Yes, if he wanted to come in and talk to you."
Giving the witch an appraising look, Buffy shook her head.
"Nope, try again, Wills. You are no good at lying. You should never play poker, you'd lose every time. So, what did you tell him?"
"Nothing, I swear", Willow said with a panic-filled voice.
"Wills?"
Buffy stood in front of her friend, eyebrows raised, waiting for an answer. Finally, Willow broke under Buffy's scrutiny.
"I might have told him... that is, I might have let it slip that..."
"Willow Rosenburg, I am waiting."
"I might have mentioned what happened to you after you fought those Gra'Loch demons and that you have feelings for him", she finished in a small voice, not daring to look up at her friend.
Buffy, for her part, was shocked. It felt as if she'd been kicked in the chest by a mule.
"Please, no, tell me you didn't..."
Willow was by her side in a flash, helping Buffy to sit down again as it seemed all her strength had left her.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Buffy, but I had to tell him. I had to make him understand. You're both hurting so much over this. I can't stand to see my friends hurt, you know that. I just wanted him to know how much of an impact he has on your life. Maybe that way, he can take the next step. Before, he didn't want to even see you. He didn't want me to even mention your name! Now he knows how much him leaving hurt you, he might get over his fears and finally talk to you."
Willow hugged Buffy tightly to her, stroking her back and hair.
"You've both been hurt by this mess. We all have but you and Xander most of all. It's time to heal the wounds, Buffy. The way to do that is to get everything out in the open. No secrets. Just honesty. He has a right to know what happened."
"I know you're right, Wills. It's just ..."
"It's just what, Buffy? You think you have to be strong all the time? You think that you're the only one who can carry the burden of being the Slayer? You think that you have to be alone for the rest of your life, just because of what your destiny is? Well, guess what? You don't have to be the strong one all the time. You have friends to rely on, to lean on. How many times have we leaned on you for support, hmm? How many times have you been there for all of us?
You're not the only Slayer anymore, either. There's Faith and Cassandra. And what about Xander? In his own way, he too is protecting the world. Maybe not from Hellspawn but from people who think that their way of thinking is the only way and everyone who doesn't think like that should be killed. In a way, they are worse then any demons we've come across."
"I know all that, Willow. Believe me, I do. But don't you get it? I'm scared!"
With this revelation, Buffy Summers jumped up from her chair and started pacing around the store.
"I'm scared, Willow. I nearly got myself killed the first time he left. I'm scared that if I let him in and he leaves again, I won't survive. My mom raised me to be a strong woman; it took a lot of hard work to get to the point that I could be what mom raised me to be and I'm afraid that I can't be that strong woman if I open up again. To anyone."
"So just because you're scared to love Xander, you're willing to let all the anger between you two continue to grow?"
"Willow! Of course I love him! I love you! I love Giles! Hell, I even love Faith, crazy and exhibionist she may be. It's just...."
"It's just that you are also IN love with Xander Harris, Buffy. Don't look at me like that. Did you think we didn't know? We've known for years, Buffy. Nobody would go through what you did for a friend, no matter how good of a friend it is. I was devastated when he left, but you were beyond that."
"What?"
Willow couldn't help the small smile of triumph at her friend's incredulous looking face.
"Admit it, Buff, you're in love with the Xand-Man. He rocks your world, tilts it upside down, sideways from Sunday. That's why you're so scared right now. That's why you're trying so hard to keep distance in your heart, instead of going with what it says to you."
Silence reigned for several long moments as Buffy Summers tried to reconcile what her mind was saying with what she felt in her heart. Willow silently watched the raging battle of emotions in her friend, hoping that Buffy would finally let go of the past.
"I'm doomed, aren't I?"
"No, you just need to let go of the past, Buffy. Let go of all the pain, anger and resentment. Then start accepting what is in your heart."
There was a tense silence as Buffy contemplated Willow's words, then she looked up into her friend's eyes.
"I do love him, as my best friend. But more then that, I am in love with him, Wills. I see couples walking down the street and in my mind, I see me and Xander in their place. And I'm scared because I don't know if he still feels the same way. And I know that he is The One. And if he doesn't feel the same way about me, then there's nothing left for me. I'll be alone for the rest of my life because nobody else measures up to him."
Willow was floored by Buffy's words; she and the others had known that Buffy had strong feelings regarding Xander. They all knew she was in love with him, although she never had said it in so many words. But having a breakdown like the one she'd had, not to mention the short string of one-night dates were all clear indications of Buffy's feelings. And the lack of any real smiles like the ones Xander brought to her lips was another clear indication of how bad Buffy Summers had it. But this was the first time Buffy herself had said it. It was the first time she had even admitted that, for her, it was Xander and no one else. Every girl, every woman knew what 'The One' meant.
"Buffy, you and him need to talk. Really talk. Get it out in the open. Rant, rave, scream and throw things but you have to really talk about your feelings. That's the only way you'll be able to go forward."
"I know, believe me, I know. But what if he doesn't feel the same way anymore? It's been years."
"Well, that is the chance you will have to take, Buff. But you have to take the first step and that is to get back the friendship you once had. Once you've got that, you can build from there, one step at a time. If you are meant to be together, the feelings between the two of you will continue to grow."
"When did you get to be so wise", Buffy asked Willow as they hugged.
"Just call me Obi-Wan Rosenburg, student of Yoda Giles and friend to Harris Skywalker and Princess Buffy Organa."
Giles and Wesley walked into the shop to the sound of laughter.
*** 2213 PM, July 14th, Magic Box, Sunnydale, CA ***
The Scooby Gang reconvened at Giles' shop after patrol. The night had been eerily quiet, not a trace of any vampires or other demons anywhere. At any other time, this would have been more then enough to give them pause, instinctively knowing that something big was brewing. But with everything that had happened in the past few days, they knew for certain that whatever was coming their way, would be bigger then any threat they'd faced before. It was a sobering experience.
"You know what I hate about these kinds of situations? The damn waiting. It's not enough that we have no idea who or what we're up against, they have to play games with us too", Cassandra grunted as she slammed her weapons into the locker with more force then was necessary.
"I think it's written somewhere in the Demon's Guide to Evilness on how to treat the good guys."
"Cordelia is right. I think it's Chapter 14, How to aggravate, annoy, confuse, befuddle and generally play with the good guy's heads", Dawn chimed in, high-fiving with the former May Queen.
"Yeah, well, it still sucks. I'm all worked up; need to burn off some steam before I go mad here."
"I'm sure you and I can come up with a few ways to vent all that energy, pet."
"Spike, I'm sure there are girls out there who fall all over themselves when you talk like that, but rest assured, I'm not one of them", Cassandra said annoyed as she lightly punched the vampire.
"Aah, you know you want to, Cas. Just admit it, if not to me, then to yourself. We can have such good times", he continued, waggling his eyebrows at her.
With a disgusted snort, Cassandra turned away from him and sat down in one of the chairs around the research table.
"Not to be the one to add to the Doom-and-Gloom mood we're in, but shouldn't Faith and Xander have been back by now", Buffy asked from her place at the table.
"I'm sure they're alright, Buffy", Willow said, sending her an encouraging smile.
While the girls were talking, Angel motioned Giles and Wesley over to the other side of the store.
"I ran into an old contact of mine here tonight."
"I take it this old contact had some news?"
"I'm not sure, Wes. He said he couldn't talk then but wanted to meet with me later. Said he had some information for me regarding the current situation. I'm going over there in a few minutes."
"It could be a trap. Wesley and I already think this whole situation is some form of divide-and-conquer strategy that our opponent is weaving around us. A series of confrontations designed to do who knows what."
"I know it could be a trap, Giles. I also know right now, we don't have any information save the supposed look of this guy. Any scrap of information is welcome."
Giles sighed as he removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"You are not going alone to this meeting, Angel."
"I think I can handle myself, Giles."
"I have no doubt of that, Angel, but I would feel better if you had backup. We can't afford to loose anyone now, if indeed this is a trap."
"I'll go with him", Wesley offered.
"Excellent, Wesley. Take the radios with you and keep an open line at all times. If things look to go bad, call me immediately."
With a curt nod, both men walked to the door and went outside.
"Where are they going, Giles", Tara asked softly as she walked up to him, rubbing her arms as if to ward off a chill.
Looking down at the worried face of the blond Wicca, Giles allowed a soft smile to graze his lips. Pulling her against him in a one-armed hug, he again marveled at how much he'd come to think of this motley crew as his children. He surely couldn't love any of them any less as if they were his own.
"Angel and Wesley are going to meet an old informant of Angel's. Seems that person might know something that could help us in our current predicament."
"Giles?"
"Yes, Tara?"
"I'm scared. I mean, whenever we're fighting, I'm scared but this time... It's different. I have this feeling of impending doom. Even more so then when we were fighting Glory."
"I know how you feel, Tara. I feel the same way every time. But you know what? Every time, we come through it without problem. I know that this time is no different."
"You know or you hope?"
"Hope is all we have got, child. It's all we've got", Giles said, softly squeezing her shoulder.
At that moment, the bell hanging above the door opened, revealing Faith and Xander as they entered the store, laughing.
"Tell me you're kidding! There is NO way that could have happened!"
"I'm telling you, Faith, THAT is exactly how it happened."
"Well, look who's decided to grace us with their presence", an angry Buffy Summers grated out as she watched the easy camaraderie between Faith and Xander.
"Chill, B. We've just been passing the time telling war stories. Xander's got a ton of them and with no action out there all night, it's a way to pass the time", Faith shot back, both happy and angered as she clearly saw the jealousy radiating off of the other Slayer.
"So neither of you ran into any trouble on your patrol, I take it?"
"Didn't I just say that, G? Nothing, nada, zip, zilch. It's like all the nightly residents of SunnyHell decided tonight is a good night to watch tv."
"From the way you're pinching the bridge of your nose, Giles, I take it nobody else tangled with said nightly residents?"
"And you would be correct in that assumption, Alex."
"The eye of the storm", Tara interjected as she sat down next to Willow, taking the redhead's hand in hers.
"Excuse me? Eye of the storm?"
"What Tara means is that the eye of the storm, that is the middle part of it. That part is always calm; it means that things are going to get worse soon. Probably sooner than we think."
"I can imagine. I've flown through a few storms myself. Not something I'd like to repeat any time soon."
"Awww, is poor Xander a widdle scared of the wind", Buffy baited him, her eyes narrowed as she noticed how close him and Faith were standing.
Oblivious to her stare, Alex just grunted and continued to talk.
"Nope, not at all, it's just that landing at night, in a storm, on the deck of a carrier, that looks no bigger than a postage stamp, and is pitching from side to side like a rollercoaster, is a good way to get yourself killed. I've seen it happen. You misjudge the angle or a sudden wind shear comes along and your aircraft just slams into the steel of the deck. Before you know it, you're lighting up like it's the Fourth of July. You just hope that the poor bastard got killed by the crash coz burning to death in an inferno of jet fuel is not a nice way to go."
Alex's words caused everyone to quiet down as they saw his eyes mist over, indicating he was reliving these memories again. Buffy gave Willow and Tara a remorseful look, knowing exactly what the two Wicca's were telling her with their pointed looks. Faith just gently squeezed Alex's shoulder.
"A friend of yours", Dawn asked in a soft voice.
"No, not really, just a nugget. A rookie pilot who was there with his class to train in carrier landings", Alex clarified. "He'd already qualified for daytime landings and it was time for the nighttime landings. Kid was edgy all the way through. The storms were a hundred miles out so it was decided to get in the first batch of night landing quals. Somehow though, the storm had another idea and suddenly, we're right in the middle of it. All the others made it down without a hitch but when he came in.... I still don't know what happened and I was standing right next to the LSO on deck.
His approach was good, he was right in the middle of the glide scope... Landing gear and hook were in the out position and he had called the ball. Then it all went to Hell... It was as if a giant hand lifted the carrier right out of the water into the kid's path. Before we could call a wave-off..."
"Come on, Boy-toy, forget about stuff like that, okay? Shit happens to good people and you can think about it all the time but it'll just make you go crazy. I know", Faith said, squeezing his hand softly.
Alex looked at the raven-haired beauty next to him, her eyes conveying the truth to her words. He knew that she could see the same truth reflected in his eyes. Squeezing her hand softly, he acknowledged her silent support.
"Enough of this gloom and doom. Why don't you tell them that story you just told me? I'm betting they'll get a kick out of it, just like I did."
"Just shows you how low your standards are regarding the art of comedy, Faith."
"And this from the man whose wardrobe suggested he spent his money at Clowns 'R Us", Faith countered.
"Faith, do not dare to bring up the clowns. You're not too big to get a spanking for that."
"How do you know that's not what I'm aiming for", Faith asked, throwing a sexy leer over her shoulder as she walked to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water.
Buffy was quietly seething at this point; her stomach felt as if someone had dropped a large stone into it and her brain burned with jealousy. The worst part of it was that she knew she deserved these feelings. If she hadn't treated Xander the way she had in the past, if she had just shown him how much he really meant to her, then none of this would be happening. Not his departure, not the anger and resentment he held for her. If she hadn't driven him away, those looks he now shared with Faith would have been hers. So many maybe's and what if's.... So many mistakes, all made with the best of intentions. But wasn't that how it always happened?
"Come on, Xander! Please? Just for me? Please?"
"Not the puppy-dog look! You don't fight fair, Dawn-patrol. You know I don't stand a chance against it!"
"I know", Dawn stated, grinning. "They say turnabout is fair play, Xan. How many times did you use it on me, hmm?"
With a grin, Alex pulled the younger Summers into a hug, kissing her hair.
"Alright, alright already. You win! Happy now?"
"Nope, you still haven't told us the story that caused Faith to giggle like a schoolgirl."
"Hey", came the indignant reply, "I don't giggle!"
"You so do giggle, you crazy Slayer-chick, you", countered Dawn, sticking out her tongue.
"Children, children, please. Behave yourselves and uncle Alex will tell you a funny story."
Dawn and Faith shared a triumphant look and immediately turned to Alex, putting on their best remorseful face. The fact that the object those faces were aimed at, burst into laughter, caused the others to start laughing as well.
"You two can't pull off looking sorry if the Devil himself was after you right now."
"Hey, I'll have you know this face always works on the teachers!"
"Yeah, sure, you betcha", Alex countered, getting his laughter under control.
"So, Xander, what is this story they're so hot about hearing?"
"Patience, Willow, patience. A story is like a fine wine. You have to savor it, know how to bring out it's bouquet, otherwise it falls flat on its face."
"Since when did you become a wine connoisseur, Xander? I thought you only drank root beer?"
"Hush, woman", Alex mock-glared at a grinning Tara. "I'll have you know that I'm an expert at the art of wine-tasting."
"Yep, you're an expert alright. On cock-and-bull stories, Xan", Buffy said, trying to interject herself into the lighthearted banter.
"You dare mock the great bard himself, wench? Harrumph!"
With an angry glare, Alex turned his back on the others. Giles, watching the exchange between his children, could do nothing but smile and shake his head. It seemed like old times again. He, for one, was glad things seemed to be turning back to normal. Or at least as normal as on a Hellmouth. Even the pleading of the girls as they tried to appease Xander so he would tell a story was reminiscent of old times.
"Oh, very well then", Alex stated in a proper voice as he turned around. "I shall magnanimously bow to your pleas and relate to you a story of woe."
Another round of laughter rang through the shop at his words and stiff movements.
"Once upon a time, there was a small band of courageous men. Warriors were they, these courageous men, called upon to defend the innocent, the downtrodden. They were send to a land faraway from their shores, a land on the eastern part of what is now called Europe. In this land, there were a great many people, encompassing several religions. And all these people with their different religions, different customs, they didn't see eye to eye. No, they would rather gouge out the other's eyeballs."
Buffy, Faith, Willow, Tara, Cassandra, Cordelia and Dawn were all sitting on the edge of their seats as Alex continued his story; even Giles was listening attentively, so drawn in was he by it.
"Now, these courageous men, these warriors, had come there to keep the peace. One day, they were summoned to meet their leader, another warrior. A man they respected for his courage, his integrity and honor. This man, this leader of men, ordered them to go out and search for the enemies of peace. So out they went. After several days of marching through the cold, wet winter countryside, of eating C-rations and drinking instant coffee, they suddenly came upon an old wooden cabin, built into the side of a mountain.
Now, this mountain these courageous men, these warriors were on, afforded them a clear view of the valley and everything else for many miles. They could even see their main compound from there. It was a good place for the evildoers to put up an observation post. The warrior in charge of this small band of brothers-in-arms decided that it would be in their interest to search the cabin.
Taking point, he climbed down the slope of the mountain and landed on the roof, the others following him. From the rooftop, he swung down onto the rickety balcony and looked into the windows. Now understand, this cabin was old, very old and had seen better days. It looked like it could fall apart at any time. The paint was gone, windows were all broken, the wood was rotten in places.
Slowly, they made their way into the cabin, searching every room on the top floor. Then, the teamleader stepped into the last room...."
Alex stopped his narration, sitting back with a smug look on his face. It didn't take long for the others to grow frustrated and yell at him to continue. Raising his hands placatingly, a sardonic smile on his lips, he continued.
"When this group of courageous men reported back to their leader at their camp, their report read as follows:
'At 1553, Gunnery Sergeant Harris searched and cleared the third floor; at 1553, Gunnery Sergeant Harris searched and cleared the second floor of said cabin; at 1553, Gunnery Sergeant Harris searched and cleared the first floor; at 1553, Gunnery Sergeant Harris searched and cleared the basement. At 1555, the cabin collapsed.'"
Silence reigned for several moments as the Scoobies looked at each other, not knowing what exactly had happened. Suddenly, the silence was broken. As one, they turned towards the source of the strange sound. Everybody watched in amazement as Rupert Giles, the epitome of British conduct, tried valiantly to contain his laughter but failed to cover up his snorts.
"Oh to hell with it", he exclaimed and started roaring with laughter.
*** 2247 PM, July 14th, Magic Box, Sunnydale, CA ***
After everyone had given their account of the night's activities, the group had again tried to find any information regarding their opponent. However, it became rapidly apparant that without any new information, no headway would be made. Giles had decided that everyone should get going to get some rest, after telling them that Angel and Wesley were going to meet up with a source. As everyone started to slowly make their way to the door, Buffy hesitantly walked over to the table Alex was standing next to, checking his gear. Fidgeting, she stood behind him, trying to think of an opening line. Several times, she tried to say something, before chickening out and shutting her mouth again.
'God, I've never been this tongue-tied before', she scolded herself. 'There used to be a time when I would just walk up to a guy and talk to him. Now look at me! I'm pathetic. He's supposed to be my best friend and I'm afraid to even say hi to him!'
"Are you going to just stand there and wring your hands all night long? Or are you going to do as Giles said and go home to get some rest?"
"Huh?"
Buffy broke loose from her frantic thoughts and looked up, straight into Xander's brown eyes. Sometime, during her inner monologue, he'd finished whatever it had been that he was doing and had turned around, facing her, his arms crossed in front of him.
"Well, yeah, I am. It's just... I wanted to..."
'Aaah! Get a grip, girl!'
"Xander, I think we need to talk."
'There now, that wasn't so bad, was it? Now all he has to do is agree and then you ask him over. Oh God, he's looking at me like I'm crazy or something!'
"Uhm, what I mean is, you've been away for a while and we've not had a chance to catch up and... Things happened and we...", Buffy trailed off, mentally kicking herself.
"I mean, I know things aren't good between us. I was hoping that maybe, we could talk. You know, try to work things out? I've heard that talking about stuff helps to get problems and such out of the way."
Alex took in her stance, the bowed head, eyes seemingly examining the floor, the hands wringing together. Buffy Summers looked like some high school kid, standing in the principal's office, awaiting punishment. He decided then and there that he wasn't going to make it any easier for her, no matter how much she tried to look like a wounded puppy. The woman in front of him had hurt him too much. Even if doing so hurt him just as much as she was hurting.
"Why would you assume that I want to talk to you at all, Slayer?"
Buffy's face raised in shock at his use of the word Slayer instead of her name, her blue-green eyes meeting his brown ones. The tone was reminiscent of the ones used by the vampires and demons she fought every night. Trying valiantly to keep her voice steady and not give in to the tears threatening to fall from his harsh tone, she pressed on.
"I know that I hurt you. I know that you feel I betrayed you. I'm just asking for a chance to talk, a chance to explain my reasons to you. Call it closure. Call it cleaning the slate. Call it what you will. I just want a chance for you to hear me out. If, after that, you decide that you don't want anything to do with me, so be it. I won't bother you again. But just give me a chance. Please."
Alex stared at her in silence, taking in Buffy's words, her stance, everything about her. Willow's words came to his mind unbidden as he saw her try and fail to stop the tears from escaping. Buffy looked miserable and as it had always done in the past, it tugged at his heart. Only an iron will, forged in the heat of battle, held him in place, stopping him from wrapping his arms around her lithe frame. With great difficulty, Alex turned around, walking towards the shop's entrance.
"Xander, please!"
Buffy's heart hitched, as her throat seemed to constrict as she watched him walk away.
"Xander, please, I'm asking... No, I'm begging you! Give me a chance to make it up to you! I'll get down on my knees if I have to! Please, just give me a chance...", she finished, choking back a sob.
Alex turned around at her last words, watching her through narrowed eyes. The strong girl he'd once known looked to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown, tears streaming down her face. Buffy's chest was heaving, as if she'd run a marathon at full speed, her face red from the strain. It broke his resolve and Alex felt like a bastard for putting her through this. He could feel her pain as if it were his own. It took him several swallows before he was certain he could speak without breaking his voice.
"Fine. State your case."
Buffy felt as if a weight had been lifted from her chest at his words. Taking a deep breath, she looked him straight in the eyes.
"Could we... I mean... I was hoping that... Could you come over tomorrow night? For dinner, I mean? I'd cook, we eat, then we talk? Tonight's just... everything is so intense right now, you know? Please?"
Taking a moment to think over her question, Alex's military mind wanted to just get it over with right here and now. Let the chips fall where they may. But instead, he let his heart answer this one time. Tensions were too high right now and they both needed to be calm when the time came for the inevitable meeting.
"Alright, I'll come over."
"Great! Around seven?", Buffy asked, her heart giving a small flutter of elation, her voice pitched a few octaves higher then usual.
"Fine. I'll be there", Alex said, removing a small businesscard from a pocket and handing it to her.
"This is my cellphone number. If anything comes up, anything at all, call me. I'm not planning on standing in front of your door, waiting, while you're off somewhere."
Visibly wincing under the blatant dig, Buffy took the card and put it into her pocket. Not trusting her voice at that moment, she nodded in affirmation. Just then, Giles walked back into the shop after seeing the others off safely, noticing the heightened tension between the two.
"Is everything alright here?"
"Just peachy", Alex stated as he walked out the door, reigning in his emotions.
Giles looked between his charge, who looked to be about to fall apart and the young man he thought of as a son as he disappeared into the night. Something monumental had happened here; the tension lingering in the room was thick and cloying. Walking over to Buffy, he wrapped his arms around her into a comforting hug. This action caused the young woman to finally release all the pent up tension and emotion in her body as he could feel the sobs wracking her small frame.