In this chapter, our friend Jenny will play an elf that Morwen and me meet.
In the Jungle belongs to someone we dont know, Stacy's Mom belongs to
Fountains of Wayne, and Girls all the Bad guys want belongs to Bowling for
Soup. I love You belongs to barney. You will understand when you read this
chapter. I think this is the best one yet. Nerwen, AKA Jenny, helped us a
lot in this chapter.
Nerwen POV:
I was walking around the halls when I hear this screaming coming from the dinning hall just a little ways away. I ran to see what was going on and I saw this maiden who looked like she was going to attack Prince Legolas, so I ran in to see more. I saw a girl with dirty blond hair laying on the floor. I also saw a shocked look on everyone's face, and Lord Elrond with his famous eyebrows. So I ran over to Arwen to ask her what was going on.
"Arwen what in the world is going on here?" Arwen turned to me and told me about this maiden who went crazy...
Morwen POV:
*EH-EM* I woke up with a two people standing over me. GASP.
"HOLY FISHMONKEY! RAPE! SOMEONE HELP M-" a hand flew over my mouth. It was some elf I had not met.
"Hello, I am Nerwen. I am a friend and representative of- "
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...::Pant::...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ! I'm wearing A DRESS!!!" I did a back flip over the two elves and straight to the closet- thingie... what do you call those things...WARDROBES!! haHA!!! "Nowww... Um... nope. No. Nope. Nah. Dah. Zi-. -ip. Scoff. DARN! I am NOT wearing a dress!!"
Nerwen POV:
The strange woman leaped out of bed and started screaming about dresses. She then stopped.
"Oh... I'm... Sorry...Ugg... I'm...Um...Morwen, and I HATE DRESSES... Who are you?" She said. She seemed embarrassed for her rash actions.
"Yes... well, I am Nerwen and this is my friend Legolas," I gestured to the prince. The strange maiden than fell to the floor.
"HA! JULIA WOULD KILL ME...fun... Where is she?"
Nessa POV:
Hour Twelve- 12th hour since I was thrown in the dungeons after greeting Legolas...
I was singing silently (okay, maybe the whole castle heard it) this good old song called "In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle". Actually, I improved it a tad bit for the occasion.
"In the Dungeons! The mighty dungeons, Nessa screams tonight! Oh! SAAAAAAAAAAA-AAA-AAA-AAAA-AAAVE! SAAAVE ME TONIIIIIIIIGHT! Awimibawa, Awimbawa, Oh Legolas, Oh Legolas, Awimbawa, Awimbawa, Oh Legolas, Oh Legolas. SAAAAAAAAAAA-AAA-AAA-AAAA-AAAVE! SAVE ME, Legolas!"
Then, I sang "Stacy's Mom". Once again I improved it. MUAHAHAHAHAAAA!
"Legolas, has got a cute ass! He's all I want and it's all that I ask! Elladan can't you see? You're just not the elf for ME! I know it might be rash, but I'm in love with Lego's ass!"
Another song I improved in my boredness. "Girl all the Bad Guys Want".
"Cuz he's protecting Frodo! Creaming all the orc-guys! Listening to Aragorn! Blue ocean in his eyes! It's like a bad movie! I think that he arrested me! If you were me then you'd be, screaming 'Someone spear me!' Then I spazed miserably trying get the elf all the fan-girls want. Cuz he's the elf all the fan-girls want!"
Morwen POV:
I was conversing (I learned a big word!) with Nerwen and Lego-boy when I hear this HORRIBLE singing. It was someone trying to sing, "In the Jungle", and then "Stacy's Mom" and then "Girl all the bad Guys Want", but all the lyrics were about Legolas......
"JULIA!" I screamed.
Legolas POV:
I was talking to my good friend, Nerwen, and the girl that I owe my life to, Morwen, when Morwen suddenly screamed "JULIA!"
"Pardon me, mellon, but who is Jooleea?" I asked. She started to talk but, then stopped.
"Oh. I mean, NESSA! I can hear her trying to 'sing' somewhere under this floor." I put a look of horror on my face.
"Y-y-you mean..... she's still----- BREATHING?!" I jumped back in anguish.
"How did you try to kill her?" she asked.
"Well, we couldn't round up some orcs....."
"Even if you did.....it wouldn't work. She doesn't die easily when she has a mission...."
Morwen POV:
I had a flashback. There was a big FLASH! And then, I was BACK.
~ Flashback ~
You see Morwen in Nessa's backyard in a ski-mask and with a chainsaw in her hand. Morwen stared confused at Nessa...(don't ask how she could see through the ski-mask...)
"You mean you didn't die?! WHAT ARE YOU MAN!?"
~ End Flashback ~
Then, I saw another FLASH. And I was BACK from the BACK.
Legolas POV:
"What is her mission?" I asked as Morwen's eye glazed over in memories. Her eyes refocused and turned to me.
"In this case... do you really want to know?" I paused for a second and realized what she meant. I jumped back...again... This time I was terrified and started to get mental images in my head....
Nessa POV:
I was in the middle of singing my NEW favorite song 'I love you, Leg- ooo--LASSSSSSSS' when I heard this:
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" IT WAS MY WIDDLE LEG-LESS!! I could hear him through the walls!
Morwen POV:
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Legolas literally screamed.
"...I...Didn't know... Elves screamed... " I said. Nerwen was confused also.
"Well...they don't... Or they're not suppose to... Um... Under extreme times of stress, or fear... instead of having seizures..." she said slowly, trying to piece together why Legolas had screamed.
"Oh!" I yelled. "It was probably because he figured out Nes-um...my friend's mission...." He screamed again. This time tears joined the screams. Wow. We're setting records here......
~*~
Nessa: WOW! We finished a whole chapter in one sitting!
Morwen: Yea! And we're on the third chapter!
Nessa: I thought we would have quit by now....
Legolas: **in tears** I was hoping sooooo.....
Nerwen/Jenny: It's okay.... take deep breaths.....DEEP breaths....
Legolas: WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME SO!?
Nessa: Don't worry. In a few chapters, I'll save your life, and youll start to love me....
Morwen: How very Mary-Sueish....
Legolas: More like Lego-Suicidal....*sob*
Nessa: Can elves commit suicide?
Legolas: I don't know. There had never been something so evil to drive them to do so....
Morwen: Well....we learn something new everyday....
Nessa: So, if you don't want me to be tortured by Elrond's eyebrows, review...
Elrond (off screen in his Eyebrow training room): Eyebrows attack! **You hear the sound of diamonds breaking** Go super eyebrow punch! *You see a huge mushroom cloud....*
Morwen: No one's going to care if Elrond attacks you with his eyebrows! They all care about Legolas!
Legolas: FOR THE LOVE OF THE VALAR! PLEASE! REVIEW! NESSA WILL KILL ME!! SAAAAAVE MEEE!!!
Nessa: *Jumps on Legolas* I love you! I would never purposely inflict you with incruciating terrible pain!
Nerwen: GET THE HELL OFF OF HIM!!
Morwen: Hey! Where's the popcorn! Oh, wait, I have something better then popcorn.....and unlike Nessa with Legolas.... I actually have a chance with him... Oh Elrohir!!
Legolas: HELP!!!
Elladan: *walks in screen with tears running down his face* WHY HIM!?
Legolas: *Turns to Elladan* HERE! TAKE HER! PLEASE!! AHHHHHHHH! *falls unconscious from near heart attack*
Nessa: Aww...damn....he's no fun when he's asleep! But... he looks so cute when he's sleeping.... well....he is when he's awake too....
Nerwen: Um....Nessa, he's not sleeping. He's UNCONCIOUS. There IS a difference.
Morwen: *while hanging off of Elrohir* No! NESSA! BACK! You can't do anything to him while he is sleeping! He can't fight back, he can't defend himself, and he can't run away. It's not fair.
Elrohir: *has Morwen hanging off his side, his expressionless face staying.......EXPRESSIONLESS!* Um....okay.
Nerwen: Okay...so....for the love of Legolas, review. Or Nessa will no longer be able to hold back.
Nessa: *sob* It's true!!!!!
Morwen: *Jumps up* Oh and, about the last chapter... We have NOTHING against gay people!
Nessa: We just think Sam is gay! I mean...COME ON! The things he does SCARE ME!!! Those are not things u do to friends. I mean, if Rama gets this evil ring, WHY the HELL would I go?!
Morwen: awwww! I feel so warm inside... NOT! *Pulls out Tetsuisaiga. You hear Inuyasha in the background*
Inuyasha: Heyyyyy... Where did it GO?!
Kagome: Rama's using it... Rama That thing only kills DEMONS
Morwen (RAMA): *About to slice Nessa* I KNOW!!
Kagome: *Pops on screen* Konichi wa! Um... I'm not from LOTR, but...Some crossover fics think I should date Aragorn... *Shivers*
Arwen: BACK OFF BITCH!
Aragorn: Um.....Okay.....*in whining baby voice* I'm scared now.....::tear::
Miroku: *to Arwen* Excuse me, miss, will you bear my ch- *Is dragged off by Sango*
Sango: Oh, No you don't
Miroku: But she has lovely hips... For baring a child...
Rama: for all the LOTR fans that think I'm perverted... BLAME RUMIKO TAKAHASHI, The VERY smart creator of Inuyasha, she made Miroku (an Inuyasha character, like Sango, Kagome and Inuyasha,) hentai*. So he asks random women to bear his child....
*perverted
Nessa: I would have a bishi (anime crush) on him, cuz he seems FUNNY, but.... he might rape me..... AND I'm loyal to Legolas.
Sango: You dont know half of it. He's a MONK a perverted Buddhist monk!
Nessa: Um.... ::shivers:: heh heh heh....heh
Miroku: *to Nessa* Excuse me miss, you said that you liked me and thought I was funny, so I was wondering is youd like to- *gets hit by the Boomerang Bone (Sango's main weapon made out of a demon's bone that is her size)
Legolas: (miraculously ALIVE) ::cough:: please......save.....meeeeeee........ ::hugs Sango's ankles::
Nessa: I'm sorry Legolas.... please forgive me.... *Legolas looks at Nessa scared*
Nerwen: Okay..... maybe we should STOP since this is getting longer then the actual story.....
Morwen: ok ok
Nessa: REVIEW!
Nerwen POV:
I was walking around the halls when I hear this screaming coming from the dinning hall just a little ways away. I ran to see what was going on and I saw this maiden who looked like she was going to attack Prince Legolas, so I ran in to see more. I saw a girl with dirty blond hair laying on the floor. I also saw a shocked look on everyone's face, and Lord Elrond with his famous eyebrows. So I ran over to Arwen to ask her what was going on.
"Arwen what in the world is going on here?" Arwen turned to me and told me about this maiden who went crazy...
Morwen POV:
*EH-EM* I woke up with a two people standing over me. GASP.
"HOLY FISHMONKEY! RAPE! SOMEONE HELP M-" a hand flew over my mouth. It was some elf I had not met.
"Hello, I am Nerwen. I am a friend and representative of- "
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...::Pant::...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ! I'm wearing A DRESS!!!" I did a back flip over the two elves and straight to the closet- thingie... what do you call those things...WARDROBES!! haHA!!! "Nowww... Um... nope. No. Nope. Nah. Dah. Zi-. -ip. Scoff. DARN! I am NOT wearing a dress!!"
Nerwen POV:
The strange woman leaped out of bed and started screaming about dresses. She then stopped.
"Oh... I'm... Sorry...Ugg... I'm...Um...Morwen, and I HATE DRESSES... Who are you?" She said. She seemed embarrassed for her rash actions.
"Yes... well, I am Nerwen and this is my friend Legolas," I gestured to the prince. The strange maiden than fell to the floor.
"HA! JULIA WOULD KILL ME...fun... Where is she?"
Nessa POV:
Hour Twelve- 12th hour since I was thrown in the dungeons after greeting Legolas...
I was singing silently (okay, maybe the whole castle heard it) this good old song called "In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle". Actually, I improved it a tad bit for the occasion.
"In the Dungeons! The mighty dungeons, Nessa screams tonight! Oh! SAAAAAAAAAAA-AAA-AAA-AAAA-AAAVE! SAAAVE ME TONIIIIIIIIGHT! Awimibawa, Awimbawa, Oh Legolas, Oh Legolas, Awimbawa, Awimbawa, Oh Legolas, Oh Legolas. SAAAAAAAAAAA-AAA-AAA-AAAA-AAAVE! SAVE ME, Legolas!"
Then, I sang "Stacy's Mom". Once again I improved it. MUAHAHAHAHAAAA!
"Legolas, has got a cute ass! He's all I want and it's all that I ask! Elladan can't you see? You're just not the elf for ME! I know it might be rash, but I'm in love with Lego's ass!"
Another song I improved in my boredness. "Girl all the Bad Guys Want".
"Cuz he's protecting Frodo! Creaming all the orc-guys! Listening to Aragorn! Blue ocean in his eyes! It's like a bad movie! I think that he arrested me! If you were me then you'd be, screaming 'Someone spear me!' Then I spazed miserably trying get the elf all the fan-girls want. Cuz he's the elf all the fan-girls want!"
Morwen POV:
I was conversing (I learned a big word!) with Nerwen and Lego-boy when I hear this HORRIBLE singing. It was someone trying to sing, "In the Jungle", and then "Stacy's Mom" and then "Girl all the bad Guys Want", but all the lyrics were about Legolas......
"JULIA!" I screamed.
Legolas POV:
I was talking to my good friend, Nerwen, and the girl that I owe my life to, Morwen, when Morwen suddenly screamed "JULIA!"
"Pardon me, mellon, but who is Jooleea?" I asked. She started to talk but, then stopped.
"Oh. I mean, NESSA! I can hear her trying to 'sing' somewhere under this floor." I put a look of horror on my face.
"Y-y-you mean..... she's still----- BREATHING?!" I jumped back in anguish.
"How did you try to kill her?" she asked.
"Well, we couldn't round up some orcs....."
"Even if you did.....it wouldn't work. She doesn't die easily when she has a mission...."
Morwen POV:
I had a flashback. There was a big FLASH! And then, I was BACK.
~ Flashback ~
You see Morwen in Nessa's backyard in a ski-mask and with a chainsaw in her hand. Morwen stared confused at Nessa...(don't ask how she could see through the ski-mask...)
"You mean you didn't die?! WHAT ARE YOU MAN!?"
~ End Flashback ~
Then, I saw another FLASH. And I was BACK from the BACK.
Legolas POV:
"What is her mission?" I asked as Morwen's eye glazed over in memories. Her eyes refocused and turned to me.
"In this case... do you really want to know?" I paused for a second and realized what she meant. I jumped back...again... This time I was terrified and started to get mental images in my head....
Nessa POV:
I was in the middle of singing my NEW favorite song 'I love you, Leg- ooo--LASSSSSSSS' when I heard this:
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" IT WAS MY WIDDLE LEG-LESS!! I could hear him through the walls!
Morwen POV:
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Legolas literally screamed.
"...I...Didn't know... Elves screamed... " I said. Nerwen was confused also.
"Well...they don't... Or they're not suppose to... Um... Under extreme times of stress, or fear... instead of having seizures..." she said slowly, trying to piece together why Legolas had screamed.
"Oh!" I yelled. "It was probably because he figured out Nes-um...my friend's mission...." He screamed again. This time tears joined the screams. Wow. We're setting records here......
~*~
Nessa: WOW! We finished a whole chapter in one sitting!
Morwen: Yea! And we're on the third chapter!
Nessa: I thought we would have quit by now....
Legolas: **in tears** I was hoping sooooo.....
Nerwen/Jenny: It's okay.... take deep breaths.....DEEP breaths....
Legolas: WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME SO!?
Nessa: Don't worry. In a few chapters, I'll save your life, and youll start to love me....
Morwen: How very Mary-Sueish....
Legolas: More like Lego-Suicidal....*sob*
Nessa: Can elves commit suicide?
Legolas: I don't know. There had never been something so evil to drive them to do so....
Morwen: Well....we learn something new everyday....
Nessa: So, if you don't want me to be tortured by Elrond's eyebrows, review...
Elrond (off screen in his Eyebrow training room): Eyebrows attack! **You hear the sound of diamonds breaking** Go super eyebrow punch! *You see a huge mushroom cloud....*
Morwen: No one's going to care if Elrond attacks you with his eyebrows! They all care about Legolas!
Legolas: FOR THE LOVE OF THE VALAR! PLEASE! REVIEW! NESSA WILL KILL ME!! SAAAAAVE MEEE!!!
Nessa: *Jumps on Legolas* I love you! I would never purposely inflict you with incruciating terrible pain!
Nerwen: GET THE HELL OFF OF HIM!!
Morwen: Hey! Where's the popcorn! Oh, wait, I have something better then popcorn.....and unlike Nessa with Legolas.... I actually have a chance with him... Oh Elrohir!!
Legolas: HELP!!!
Elladan: *walks in screen with tears running down his face* WHY HIM!?
Legolas: *Turns to Elladan* HERE! TAKE HER! PLEASE!! AHHHHHHHH! *falls unconscious from near heart attack*
Nessa: Aww...damn....he's no fun when he's asleep! But... he looks so cute when he's sleeping.... well....he is when he's awake too....
Nerwen: Um....Nessa, he's not sleeping. He's UNCONCIOUS. There IS a difference.
Morwen: *while hanging off of Elrohir* No! NESSA! BACK! You can't do anything to him while he is sleeping! He can't fight back, he can't defend himself, and he can't run away. It's not fair.
Elrohir: *has Morwen hanging off his side, his expressionless face staying.......EXPRESSIONLESS!* Um....okay.
Nerwen: Okay...so....for the love of Legolas, review. Or Nessa will no longer be able to hold back.
Nessa: *sob* It's true!!!!!
Morwen: *Jumps up* Oh and, about the last chapter... We have NOTHING against gay people!
Nessa: We just think Sam is gay! I mean...COME ON! The things he does SCARE ME!!! Those are not things u do to friends. I mean, if Rama gets this evil ring, WHY the HELL would I go?!
Morwen: awwww! I feel so warm inside... NOT! *Pulls out Tetsuisaiga. You hear Inuyasha in the background*
Inuyasha: Heyyyyy... Where did it GO?!
Kagome: Rama's using it... Rama That thing only kills DEMONS
Morwen (RAMA): *About to slice Nessa* I KNOW!!
Kagome: *Pops on screen* Konichi wa! Um... I'm not from LOTR, but...Some crossover fics think I should date Aragorn... *Shivers*
Arwen: BACK OFF BITCH!
Aragorn: Um.....Okay.....*in whining baby voice* I'm scared now.....::tear::
Miroku: *to Arwen* Excuse me, miss, will you bear my ch- *Is dragged off by Sango*
Sango: Oh, No you don't
Miroku: But she has lovely hips... For baring a child...
Rama: for all the LOTR fans that think I'm perverted... BLAME RUMIKO TAKAHASHI, The VERY smart creator of Inuyasha, she made Miroku (an Inuyasha character, like Sango, Kagome and Inuyasha,) hentai*. So he asks random women to bear his child....
*perverted
Nessa: I would have a bishi (anime crush) on him, cuz he seems FUNNY, but.... he might rape me..... AND I'm loyal to Legolas.
Sango: You dont know half of it. He's a MONK a perverted Buddhist monk!
Nessa: Um.... ::shivers:: heh heh heh....heh
Miroku: *to Nessa* Excuse me miss, you said that you liked me and thought I was funny, so I was wondering is youd like to- *gets hit by the Boomerang Bone (Sango's main weapon made out of a demon's bone that is her size)
Legolas: (miraculously ALIVE) ::cough:: please......save.....meeeeeee........ ::hugs Sango's ankles::
Nessa: I'm sorry Legolas.... please forgive me.... *Legolas looks at Nessa scared*
Nerwen: Okay..... maybe we should STOP since this is getting longer then the actual story.....
Morwen: ok ok
Nessa: REVIEW!