Too lazy for a title
*Shinigami06* says: This is really what SandiBebop does all day. sad. Not that I can say much. I'm the same way.
By SandiBebop
Disclaimed: * rolls eyes * don't be stupid
Summary: Just something I wrote. Kind of funny I guess. TRUE STORY *$^%)@! *$^%)@! *#^%$)#@$% Rating: PG-13 (implied slash DUH) and I was going to put in the part where Harry and Severus just totally made out before they left, but I can't remember it all. * Sob * A/N: This is SANDI'S story, not Shinigami061. She just puts things on here for me because I'm a moron and can't do anything by myself. ~*~ Thursday (this is no lie, I swear) a young woman by the name of Sandi was sitting in class, working on "Out of the Darkness". A lovely angst fanfic featuring the sexy-ness of SS/HP. (Because there's no better shipping, and you know it). This girl stood about 5'3, blue hair (is it natural??? NO YOU IDIOT, IT'S DYED!!!), blue eyes, wearing a Donkey Kong tee-shirt, and possibly the worlds most hideous yellow bowling shoes. To say she was "different" is to say that J.K is an "adequate" author.
As Sandi sat, contemplating what to write next in her tragic and (as some people have emailed) perverse fanfic, the sound of popping comes from behind. Sine she is currently sitting in Science, she holds in a pathetic girly scream and turns slightly in her chair. Her mouth hangs open when she sees who is behind her.
Severus Snape and Harry Potter.
OMG.
Feeling her forehead and questioning her sanity, Sandi watches as her two most beloved men sit on either side of her. Now, close to having a stroke or possibly molesting one of the (yum) men, she looks around and notices no one else seems to see the wizards.
"Oh, they can't see us." Smirked a cocky Snape. He looked to Harry, who nodded. "He's right." The younger man added, "Nice charms we have going on." He smiled slightly, and then became serious, "We need to have a talk with you."
Sandi raised an eyebrow, "Me? Whatever it is, I swear I didn't do it."
Rolling his (beautiful) dark eyes, Severus snapped, "Stop going for the innocent look. It won't work." He sighed as the girl silently questioned him. "We've been to that horrid 'fanfiction.net' site and seen the absolutely disgusting things you have been writing about me."
"Us." Harry muttered; glaring slightly at his professor who seemed unfazed by the minute scowl.
Sighing, Severus corrected, "Us." He turned back to the blue haired woman, "We demand," A look from Harry had him cough, "We request" he corrected, "that you dutifully remove that abomination from the site. It's horribly disgusting to think that young ladies such as yourself go out of your way to write such. unlady-like material!" Harry ran a hand through his hair (O.O * drools *) and flashes Sandi an apologetic smile, "What my professor means is that we would undoubtedly appreciate it if you would consider executing your current writing process. Frankly, I don't wish those things to happen to me, and the last person I want to help me out of such a situation is this greasy git." He pointed at his potions master.
Glowering, Snape said scathingly, "Oh yes, and I sincerely want to read more of these disgusting pieces of literature where I happen to seduce my student and end up going at it with him wheel-barrow style!" the man then proceeded to pout in a very childish (or sexy, take your pick) manner.
Sandi's eyes widened, "Wheel-barrow style? Thanks for the idea Sev!"
Harry seemed ready to fall out of his currently occupied chair and roll on the floor laughing. Severus looked rightfully ashamed that he had put another (horrid?) thought in the young woman's head. He tried to persuade her to forget what he had said, but she was already scribbling away on a piece of scrap paper.
Looking as though she has won the lottery, Sandi asked innocently, "So, any other idea's that you "don't" wish to do to your student?" she winked then, causing Severus to glare in a rather rude manner.
"Look," he said after taking a few deep breathes, "I do not like Harry in that way and-"
"Not in that way???" Sandi asked quickly, "What about sixty-nine way, hmmm? That's another way." That shut up Harry's nearly silent sniggering and caused him to also begin the pouting process.
"Please," Harry practically begged, "We just don't want people to think that we're a good match! Just stop writing it. Set me up with someone else; even Lavender Brown if you have to!"
Sandi shook her head and smiled thoughtfully, "No." she said, and "I don't think I will. You two are perfect together and I won't change a thing." ^_^
Slapping his forehead, Severus muttered, "This is getting nowhere."
After another half hour of persuading, the two men where no closer to deterring Sandi's opinion then they had begun with. Soon enough, they were resigned to the fact that they were the perfect couple and should get together (according to Sandi).
As the class ended and the other students filed out, something occurred to the slightly perverse young lady as she made to pack her binder away.
"Wait." She said as the two men started to leave, "If you two are real, then Hogwarts is real???"
Severus rolled his eyes at the obvious and Harry smirked saying, "Of course. Why do you ask?"
The wizards glanced at each other in alarm as the girl in front of them broke down sobbing piteously.
"Good god, what is the matter?!" Severus exclaimed, quite overwhelmed by the blue haired child's crying. He looked over to Harry, who simply shrugged and shook his head.
Sandi threw her head back and wailed, "If there's a Hogwarts and you guys are real," she paused here and took a shuddering breath, "THEN I'M NOT A WITCH BECAUSE I'M 15 AND I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A LETTER!!!" she sank to the floor and continued crying at the hateful world who would continue to spite her.
Severus scratched the back of his head while Harry patted Sandi awkwardly on the back. Neither knew what to say and dissaperated when it became clear that they girl in front of them would never fully recover from the shock and pain that came from knowing her dream world was real, yet she wasn't apart of it.
"Ms. Lemka? Ms. Lemka!!!" A voice boomed in Sandi's ear. It was kind of distorted.
"Mmm?" Sandi muttered, opening her eyes. She immediately noticed that the world seemed horizontal. Then she groaned when she realized she was laying her head down on the desk. She looked up to see Mr. Hibbs glaring down at her.
"Ms. Lemka, I would appreciate it if you would be so kind as to stay awake while I explain the properties of salmon scales and why Native American's continue to use them for medicinal purposes today." He stalked back to the front of the classroom why Sandi replaced her glasses and looked around.
The rest of the class seemed to have gotten past sniggering at their fellow classmate for falling asleep in class (and drooling on her orange binder, I might add) and had gone back to listening to their instructions from the teacher.
"Well," Sandi muttered, somewhat sadly, "At least I can still write my fanfic."
With that, she pulled out a scrap piece of paper and began writing chapter seven of "Out of the Darkness."
THE END
A/N: Mwahahahaha! That did actually happen to me. Quite sad really. Nice dream though; but Severus was wearing tight leather pants, a white silk shirt unbuttoned halfway, and his hair was back in a ponytail. Yum. Harry was in sexy Quidditch robes, which made it much better. ^_^ Review and stuff, this was just something I wrote so I would be happy before I began re-writing chapter 7. (I would have that damn chapter done, but Noooo, my dad had to go and rebuild my computer and I've had no time since to rewrite it. But never fear, oh faithful readers, I shall work on and hopefully complete it tomorrow during lunch). That is all. Review and stuff.
*Shinigami06* says: This is really what SandiBebop does all day. sad. Not that I can say much. I'm the same way.
By SandiBebop
Disclaimed: * rolls eyes * don't be stupid
Summary: Just something I wrote. Kind of funny I guess. TRUE STORY *$^%)@! *$^%)@! *#^%$)#@$% Rating: PG-13 (implied slash DUH) and I was going to put in the part where Harry and Severus just totally made out before they left, but I can't remember it all. * Sob * A/N: This is SANDI'S story, not Shinigami061. She just puts things on here for me because I'm a moron and can't do anything by myself. ~*~ Thursday (this is no lie, I swear) a young woman by the name of Sandi was sitting in class, working on "Out of the Darkness". A lovely angst fanfic featuring the sexy-ness of SS/HP. (Because there's no better shipping, and you know it). This girl stood about 5'3, blue hair (is it natural??? NO YOU IDIOT, IT'S DYED!!!), blue eyes, wearing a Donkey Kong tee-shirt, and possibly the worlds most hideous yellow bowling shoes. To say she was "different" is to say that J.K is an "adequate" author.
As Sandi sat, contemplating what to write next in her tragic and (as some people have emailed) perverse fanfic, the sound of popping comes from behind. Sine she is currently sitting in Science, she holds in a pathetic girly scream and turns slightly in her chair. Her mouth hangs open when she sees who is behind her.
Severus Snape and Harry Potter.
OMG.
Feeling her forehead and questioning her sanity, Sandi watches as her two most beloved men sit on either side of her. Now, close to having a stroke or possibly molesting one of the (yum) men, she looks around and notices no one else seems to see the wizards.
"Oh, they can't see us." Smirked a cocky Snape. He looked to Harry, who nodded. "He's right." The younger man added, "Nice charms we have going on." He smiled slightly, and then became serious, "We need to have a talk with you."
Sandi raised an eyebrow, "Me? Whatever it is, I swear I didn't do it."
Rolling his (beautiful) dark eyes, Severus snapped, "Stop going for the innocent look. It won't work." He sighed as the girl silently questioned him. "We've been to that horrid 'fanfiction.net' site and seen the absolutely disgusting things you have been writing about me."
"Us." Harry muttered; glaring slightly at his professor who seemed unfazed by the minute scowl.
Sighing, Severus corrected, "Us." He turned back to the blue haired woman, "We demand," A look from Harry had him cough, "We request" he corrected, "that you dutifully remove that abomination from the site. It's horribly disgusting to think that young ladies such as yourself go out of your way to write such. unlady-like material!" Harry ran a hand through his hair (O.O * drools *) and flashes Sandi an apologetic smile, "What my professor means is that we would undoubtedly appreciate it if you would consider executing your current writing process. Frankly, I don't wish those things to happen to me, and the last person I want to help me out of such a situation is this greasy git." He pointed at his potions master.
Glowering, Snape said scathingly, "Oh yes, and I sincerely want to read more of these disgusting pieces of literature where I happen to seduce my student and end up going at it with him wheel-barrow style!" the man then proceeded to pout in a very childish (or sexy, take your pick) manner.
Sandi's eyes widened, "Wheel-barrow style? Thanks for the idea Sev!"
Harry seemed ready to fall out of his currently occupied chair and roll on the floor laughing. Severus looked rightfully ashamed that he had put another (horrid?) thought in the young woman's head. He tried to persuade her to forget what he had said, but she was already scribbling away on a piece of scrap paper.
Looking as though she has won the lottery, Sandi asked innocently, "So, any other idea's that you "don't" wish to do to your student?" she winked then, causing Severus to glare in a rather rude manner.
"Look," he said after taking a few deep breathes, "I do not like Harry in that way and-"
"Not in that way???" Sandi asked quickly, "What about sixty-nine way, hmmm? That's another way." That shut up Harry's nearly silent sniggering and caused him to also begin the pouting process.
"Please," Harry practically begged, "We just don't want people to think that we're a good match! Just stop writing it. Set me up with someone else; even Lavender Brown if you have to!"
Sandi shook her head and smiled thoughtfully, "No." she said, and "I don't think I will. You two are perfect together and I won't change a thing." ^_^
Slapping his forehead, Severus muttered, "This is getting nowhere."
After another half hour of persuading, the two men where no closer to deterring Sandi's opinion then they had begun with. Soon enough, they were resigned to the fact that they were the perfect couple and should get together (according to Sandi).
As the class ended and the other students filed out, something occurred to the slightly perverse young lady as she made to pack her binder away.
"Wait." She said as the two men started to leave, "If you two are real, then Hogwarts is real???"
Severus rolled his eyes at the obvious and Harry smirked saying, "Of course. Why do you ask?"
The wizards glanced at each other in alarm as the girl in front of them broke down sobbing piteously.
"Good god, what is the matter?!" Severus exclaimed, quite overwhelmed by the blue haired child's crying. He looked over to Harry, who simply shrugged and shook his head.
Sandi threw her head back and wailed, "If there's a Hogwarts and you guys are real," she paused here and took a shuddering breath, "THEN I'M NOT A WITCH BECAUSE I'M 15 AND I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A LETTER!!!" she sank to the floor and continued crying at the hateful world who would continue to spite her.
Severus scratched the back of his head while Harry patted Sandi awkwardly on the back. Neither knew what to say and dissaperated when it became clear that they girl in front of them would never fully recover from the shock and pain that came from knowing her dream world was real, yet she wasn't apart of it.
"Ms. Lemka? Ms. Lemka!!!" A voice boomed in Sandi's ear. It was kind of distorted.
"Mmm?" Sandi muttered, opening her eyes. She immediately noticed that the world seemed horizontal. Then she groaned when she realized she was laying her head down on the desk. She looked up to see Mr. Hibbs glaring down at her.
"Ms. Lemka, I would appreciate it if you would be so kind as to stay awake while I explain the properties of salmon scales and why Native American's continue to use them for medicinal purposes today." He stalked back to the front of the classroom why Sandi replaced her glasses and looked around.
The rest of the class seemed to have gotten past sniggering at their fellow classmate for falling asleep in class (and drooling on her orange binder, I might add) and had gone back to listening to their instructions from the teacher.
"Well," Sandi muttered, somewhat sadly, "At least I can still write my fanfic."
With that, she pulled out a scrap piece of paper and began writing chapter seven of "Out of the Darkness."
THE END
A/N: Mwahahahaha! That did actually happen to me. Quite sad really. Nice dream though; but Severus was wearing tight leather pants, a white silk shirt unbuttoned halfway, and his hair was back in a ponytail. Yum. Harry was in sexy Quidditch robes, which made it much better. ^_^ Review and stuff, this was just something I wrote so I would be happy before I began re-writing chapter 7. (I would have that damn chapter done, but Noooo, my dad had to go and rebuild my computer and I've had no time since to rewrite it. But never fear, oh faithful readers, I shall work on and hopefully complete it tomorrow during lunch). That is all. Review and stuff.