Soon the temple is cleared and I usher people to return home making sure I
am the last the leave with Daniel and Tealc, Kiana leaves with us also. I
pull my cloak further about me as a biting wind surrounds us, pulling the
temple doors to a firm close. The light from the flickering burning oil
bowls casts a dim slanting light across our path as we make our way into
the heart of the village. Kiana links her arm into mine, pressing close
holding a bowl in her other hand. Then two men walk just behind us. I
sense heightened curiosity from Kiana and a happy exhaustion, which seems
to mill over all of us.
"It was a wonderful eve Rani" she whispers close to my ear to prevent the wind from carrying away her words. "It has been too long since such celebration and you enjoyed yourself immensely"
I do not have to look at her to realise the smile on her lips and childlike glint in her eyes and I sense more than curiosity from her rather an immense impatience at wanting to know something that I obviously at least emotionally was exuding. I glance up to the moons, before lowering my head as a rush of wind catches at our skirts, we laugh as we focus on our path, heads bowed.
"Yes it was a good eve Kiana, I sense all would agree we all enjoyed ourselves"
Now I can feel her impatience growing but perhaps she realises at least this eve she will not be getting anything else from me. I need time to process what I feel before I discuss anything with her or anyone. Arriving at Kiana's home the two men wait at the gate as I walk with her to her door, as she opens it she turns to me and hugs me in a soft embrace for a moment a rush of care and safety surrounding me.
"It has been long enough Rani, you should not be afraid to feel it again. He would understand"
With these last words, she whispers Meltolyah in my ear and steps back into her home, closing the door securely. I pause before turning and making my way to Daniel who is still waiting at the gate. Tealc has walked a few steps ahead, the oil bowl in his hands, casting a strong enough light for us to follow. I walk silently by Daniel the words from my wise friend ringing in my ears along with the howls of the high winds. I pull my cloak about me and feel suddenly aware of a nervousness, which seems to have risen from me. We arrive silently at my home, and I bolt the door. The burning embers of a small dying fire Nina must have lit for us, lights the room, as I slide my cloak from my shoulders, I shiver and I wonder to myself if it is the chill in the air which makes me do so or the slight feel of his fingers on my shoulders as Daniel helps me remove my cloak. The house is silent and peaceful as Tealc places the oil bowl down before turning to me.
"I will retire to bed, Meltolyah" he bows slightly before silently ascending the stairs.
Although I feel tired, I also feel like I could not sleep, thoughts pattern through my head and I am unsure how to process them. Daniel seems reluctant to sleep also, settling silently onto large cushions by the burning fire embers. I sit by his side, glancing to his face for a moment, before lowering my gaze to watch a burning ember fly softly up into the air to die and settle with grace. Conversation seems unnecessary and strangely, the silence is comfortable. I am curiously aware of being watched and lift my gaze to be met with the dark shadowed blueness of Daniel's eyes, the flicker of a dying flame reflected softly in the corner of them. I feel somehow mesmerised by those eyes, the eyes of a stranger, a man who seems to have awoken me from the slumber I have reserved myself to for many moons. I find it strange that a man who I only met an eve ago can make me feel like this again. I am aware of a smile lighting his lips, when did my gaze travel from those eyes to his mouth.
There is so much I want to tell him, perhaps my thoughts will process as I pour out the story of my life to him. Is he ready to hear the life I have lead, the pain which consumed my soul for many eves and which I have managed to lock behind a door, in a room above. I can feel my skin of my cheek shiver at his touch, I am aware of his fingers slowly tracing the curve of my jaw, and my gaze is once more drawn to his eyes and I struggle to regain some composure, my senses seem to all but escaped me. I can feel nothing and everything from him, fear, uncertainty, want, need, wondering and nothing. I am aware of nothing but dark bright blue, and tingling fingertips, and my fingers covering his, perhaps in a subconscious move to see if this is real. That this is not a reality in my mind, playing out to cruelly torture my soul.
His fingers leave my skin, dropping to entwine into mine and I am aware of the stillness. Perhaps even the winds outside have slowed but I unaware of everything around us only stillness. A beckoning, a closeness, bodies edging closer and then stillness once more, just blueness a sudden need. I reach up and slide his glasses from his face, placing them by me before I slide my fingers to his face, a smile on my lips as a slight squint surrounds them, like my own would when the suns rise. I feel an urge to look so deeply into those eyes that I could fall without fear of being hurt. I feel a hand slide firmly about my back pulling me further and suddenly we are falling, still silent, bodies pressed. My fingers slip from the frame of his eyes to stop my descent so I can look down at him, as we half lay halfway on the cushions, the strong arm still about my waist, sliding further up my back, and then again the tingling of his fingers on my skin as they splay about my shoulders. I follow the tingling soft sensation as fingertips slide through my hair, blue eyes still staring into mine. Slow, stillness, silence as my fingers find his face once more, tracing the line of his chin, down his throat slowly tracing their own path. Entranced as blueness draws closer and then still again, a tentative lingering pause, before sensation of fingers leading fiery trails and bodies so close disappear.
Emptiness, falling, silence, wanting, fear, lips connecting, lingering. A moment, engrained into my mind only to be replaced by another as another pause, a breath another glance into the dark shadowed bright blue. A whisper of a name, lost in the silence, and then again lips, mouth, all thoughts disappearing, deep breaths as we give in to the surging emotions, needing, wanting, I am aware of nothing but wanting this, the need to feel wanted, needed by someone. A feeling lost to me for a time. I push away all thoughts and emotions as we kiss and taste. We lay like this snatching the sensations we give into, letting go to all thought and emotion. I will kiss him, he will kiss me, our hands will revel in the feel of each other's skin, and our fingers will trace lines. Eventually slumber becomes the better yet still we are reluctant to leave, and so we stay wrapped in each others arms, my head on his chest, my fingers tracing circles, and his fingers warm about my shoulder.
"It was a wonderful eve Rani" she whispers close to my ear to prevent the wind from carrying away her words. "It has been too long since such celebration and you enjoyed yourself immensely"
I do not have to look at her to realise the smile on her lips and childlike glint in her eyes and I sense more than curiosity from her rather an immense impatience at wanting to know something that I obviously at least emotionally was exuding. I glance up to the moons, before lowering my head as a rush of wind catches at our skirts, we laugh as we focus on our path, heads bowed.
"Yes it was a good eve Kiana, I sense all would agree we all enjoyed ourselves"
Now I can feel her impatience growing but perhaps she realises at least this eve she will not be getting anything else from me. I need time to process what I feel before I discuss anything with her or anyone. Arriving at Kiana's home the two men wait at the gate as I walk with her to her door, as she opens it she turns to me and hugs me in a soft embrace for a moment a rush of care and safety surrounding me.
"It has been long enough Rani, you should not be afraid to feel it again. He would understand"
With these last words, she whispers Meltolyah in my ear and steps back into her home, closing the door securely. I pause before turning and making my way to Daniel who is still waiting at the gate. Tealc has walked a few steps ahead, the oil bowl in his hands, casting a strong enough light for us to follow. I walk silently by Daniel the words from my wise friend ringing in my ears along with the howls of the high winds. I pull my cloak about me and feel suddenly aware of a nervousness, which seems to have risen from me. We arrive silently at my home, and I bolt the door. The burning embers of a small dying fire Nina must have lit for us, lights the room, as I slide my cloak from my shoulders, I shiver and I wonder to myself if it is the chill in the air which makes me do so or the slight feel of his fingers on my shoulders as Daniel helps me remove my cloak. The house is silent and peaceful as Tealc places the oil bowl down before turning to me.
"I will retire to bed, Meltolyah" he bows slightly before silently ascending the stairs.
Although I feel tired, I also feel like I could not sleep, thoughts pattern through my head and I am unsure how to process them. Daniel seems reluctant to sleep also, settling silently onto large cushions by the burning fire embers. I sit by his side, glancing to his face for a moment, before lowering my gaze to watch a burning ember fly softly up into the air to die and settle with grace. Conversation seems unnecessary and strangely, the silence is comfortable. I am curiously aware of being watched and lift my gaze to be met with the dark shadowed blueness of Daniel's eyes, the flicker of a dying flame reflected softly in the corner of them. I feel somehow mesmerised by those eyes, the eyes of a stranger, a man who seems to have awoken me from the slumber I have reserved myself to for many moons. I find it strange that a man who I only met an eve ago can make me feel like this again. I am aware of a smile lighting his lips, when did my gaze travel from those eyes to his mouth.
There is so much I want to tell him, perhaps my thoughts will process as I pour out the story of my life to him. Is he ready to hear the life I have lead, the pain which consumed my soul for many eves and which I have managed to lock behind a door, in a room above. I can feel my skin of my cheek shiver at his touch, I am aware of his fingers slowly tracing the curve of my jaw, and my gaze is once more drawn to his eyes and I struggle to regain some composure, my senses seem to all but escaped me. I can feel nothing and everything from him, fear, uncertainty, want, need, wondering and nothing. I am aware of nothing but dark bright blue, and tingling fingertips, and my fingers covering his, perhaps in a subconscious move to see if this is real. That this is not a reality in my mind, playing out to cruelly torture my soul.
His fingers leave my skin, dropping to entwine into mine and I am aware of the stillness. Perhaps even the winds outside have slowed but I unaware of everything around us only stillness. A beckoning, a closeness, bodies edging closer and then stillness once more, just blueness a sudden need. I reach up and slide his glasses from his face, placing them by me before I slide my fingers to his face, a smile on my lips as a slight squint surrounds them, like my own would when the suns rise. I feel an urge to look so deeply into those eyes that I could fall without fear of being hurt. I feel a hand slide firmly about my back pulling me further and suddenly we are falling, still silent, bodies pressed. My fingers slip from the frame of his eyes to stop my descent so I can look down at him, as we half lay halfway on the cushions, the strong arm still about my waist, sliding further up my back, and then again the tingling of his fingers on my skin as they splay about my shoulders. I follow the tingling soft sensation as fingertips slide through my hair, blue eyes still staring into mine. Slow, stillness, silence as my fingers find his face once more, tracing the line of his chin, down his throat slowly tracing their own path. Entranced as blueness draws closer and then still again, a tentative lingering pause, before sensation of fingers leading fiery trails and bodies so close disappear.
Emptiness, falling, silence, wanting, fear, lips connecting, lingering. A moment, engrained into my mind only to be replaced by another as another pause, a breath another glance into the dark shadowed bright blue. A whisper of a name, lost in the silence, and then again lips, mouth, all thoughts disappearing, deep breaths as we give in to the surging emotions, needing, wanting, I am aware of nothing but wanting this, the need to feel wanted, needed by someone. A feeling lost to me for a time. I push away all thoughts and emotions as we kiss and taste. We lay like this snatching the sensations we give into, letting go to all thought and emotion. I will kiss him, he will kiss me, our hands will revel in the feel of each other's skin, and our fingers will trace lines. Eventually slumber becomes the better yet still we are reluctant to leave, and so we stay wrapped in each others arms, my head on his chest, my fingers tracing circles, and his fingers warm about my shoulder.