Six
How do you have a funeral for someone when you can't find their body? Rogue asked herself as she stared coldly at the empty coffin that was supposed to house the mortal remains of Asli 'Cypher' Fraser Carter. Sitting in the makeshift chapel that the Professor had erected for the proceedings just made it even more surreal. Twenty hard years of life-six of those as a government experiment-and all there was to show for the complexity of Asli's being was a hollow box. The idea moved Rogue to a place beyond tears, the injustice of it had created a permanent bile taste in the back of the Gothic belle's throat.
"Rogue?" The concern in Kurt's eyes made Rogue want to choke-three days of everyone around her walking on eggshells was not contusive to grieving for her fallen friend.
"Yeah?" her throat felt coated in sandpaper.
Kurt ducked his image-induced head, "The Professor wants to start in ten minutes."
Despite the love that radiated from her brother's every pore Rogue felt the urge to hit him-to hit everyone until the pain subsided or at least dimmed. Shooting out of her chair Rogue brushed past Kurt and rushed to the side door and the alluring promise of fresh air. Bursting out of the doors Rogue wasn't disappointed-the air was cool and crisp-the tang of the ocean nearby eased the tears that had threatened to overwhelm Rogue inside.
She didn't even notice the young man staring into space until it was too late to turn back-to pretend that she hadn't seen him. Sometimes a lifetime can fit into a single moment, and in the case of Scott Summers it seemed that he had packed ten years into the last three days. His normally immaculate hair was askew, he was unshaven, his clothes filthy and his ruby quartz lenses hung crookedly on his face. Hoping against hope, Rogue turned to leave once more-Scott was the last person she wanted to talk to today.
Always capricious Fate had a very different idea and only let the Goth get two steps before the X-Man leader's voice rung out weakly from behind her, "Rogue…"
"What do you want?" Rogue didn't bother trying to hide the coldness in her voice.
If she hadn't been so tired Rogue might have regretted her harshness as Scott snapped back as if her words had slapped him, "I didn't know…Oh god…I'm so sorry…I didn't know what she was doing…All I could think of was how you were hurt in that lab…how you had to absorb the telepath in New York…I thought they were going to attack…But she wasn't bad….she was double crossing Magneto all along and I had no clue…and I…I…"
The soft words broke off as the usually collected young man began to sob; part of Rogue wanted to pat his shoulder and comfort him but the other still hadn't forgiven the fateful error that had led to the funeral today. Clenching and unclenching her fists Rogue wondered what to do, her life so far had not prepared her for a situation like this. It was hard enough keeping herself from breaking down-there was nothing left to prop Scott up with.
"Scott?"
Rogue sighed with relief as Jean poked her head out the door, "He's out here Jean."
The redhead moved towards her sobbing boyfriend with a grimace on her face; in the state he was in Scott had to be projecting quite loudly. Softly, the telepath put a hand on his arm and offered a weak smile; "Come on why don't you come in with me Scott."
Silent as the grave Rogue watched Jean lead Scott away before she took up his place staring at the grounds surrounding the Xavier Institute. It seemed so peaceful that Rogue wished she could sink into the ground and disappear. "You hiding out here chère Rogue?" Rogue didn't bother turning around-she'd know Remy's voice anywhere.
Without invitation he sat next to her and reached into one of his many trench coat pockets removing his silver cigarette case and putting one to his lips. Lighting fast Rogue plucked it away and broke it, throwing the parts on the ground; "Stupid Swamp Rat…don't you know those…those…"
The tears that she had been keeping back by sheer will power burst forth shaking Rogue from head to toe. So deep was the crying jag that Rogue didn't feel Remy's arms wrap around her body. All Rogue was aware of was that a persistent warmth was trying to drive the coldness that was threatening to seep into her very bones. Hundreds of tiny memories of Asli flashed through her mind-some were Rogue's, others belonging to Remy, St. John, Bender even Asli herself.
"I'm not dead Rogue," Asli's voice spoke form deep in Rogue's mind, "I'm still in here as long as you're alive. Death is when you are completely forgotten."
The simple statement made by the psyche of Asli calmed Rogue more than anything else could have. Her tears and shaking stopped but she decided against moving-it felt so warm and safe to be held in Remy's arms. "You bettah chère?" Remy's breath ruffled her hair.
"I will be."
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"Piotr?" Kitty knocked on Colossus's' bedroom door softly.
No answer was forth coming and setting her face Kitty decided to take matters into her own hands. It took very little effort to phase herself through Piotr's door; he had locked himself inside three days ago and had yet to emerge and Kitty knew that he would regret missing Asli's memorial. Maybe not today or tomorrow but one day when he looked back on his first love it would hit him. Kitty knew she'd feel the same if Lance suddenly died.
Shaking herself out of her daydream Kitty moved to the pile of blankets on the bed that was just too big not to house Piotr as well. Taking a deep breath Kitty phased her hand through the handmade quilt, grabbed a hold and pulled Piotr's dark head out of his nest. "Get up Piotr. You'll miss Asli's funeral if you don't."
His eyes were red rimmed and glazed, his hair a mess but it was the look of utter loss on Piotr's face that hit Kitty in the solarplexes with a sharp jab. It broke the young woman's heart to see him like this-so vulnerable and grief stricken-some things impervious skin couldn't protect you from. The broken man on the bed had more in common with Rogue than just their loss.
Kitty was about to issue another directive when Piotr's door flew open to allow Illyana to hurtle to her older brother's side. "Piotr…" she stopped just short of the bed and gazed at him with her wide blue eyes, "I know you're sad because of Asli, Piotr but you have to come downstairs…"
"Why?" Piotr's voice was hoarse and scratchy from disuse, "It will not bring her back…She forgave me…but I spent so much time hating her…"
Kitty hid her small smile as Illyana put her hands on her hips and gave her brother a patented Rogue eye roll-three days and the eight year old was emulating the returned Goth. "Piotr Nikolaievitch Rasputin! You are going to Asli's funeral or I'll phone Mama and tell her that you disrespected the woman who saved us."
The change in Piotr at the mention of his mother's wrath was instant-most of his self pity ebbed away as he sat up on his own. Kitty freed him of his quilt and pulled Illyana out of the room to allow him time to get ready.
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One of Piotr's many sketches of Asli hung above the coffin wreathed in flowers-Rogue had insisted on tulips and lily of the valley-the mourners were hushed and reverent as befitted the situation. Except for one, Remy had to laugh as the tell-tale sound of St. John's lighter flicking interrupted the oppressive air of sorrow. The corners of his ruby eyes crinkled as Remy barely held in his laughter. He knew Asli would have appreciated this bit or normality in the sea of pomp the Professor had decreed befitted the girl who gave her life to end Magneto's tyranny.
Without turning Remy knew exactly who was in the large and dimly lit room; Rogue was beside him her hand clasped in his, on his other side sat Shade, Surge and Cobra-with Wolverine presiding over the last remaining Program survivors. The tall, handsome blonde man that reeked of money was Warren Worthington, the 'New Mutants' as Rogue had called them were scrubbed and sitting quietly under the watchful eyes of Ororo Monroe and Hank McCoy. The only X-Men understandably not in sight were Scott and Jean.
In the back St. John sat with the Brotherhood-although Pietro and Wanda mourned their father's death Remy could feel their relief to be free of his machinations at long last. Mystique sat in the corner ignoring everyone. Most surprising to Remy was Lance Alvers clad in a simple dark suit a single white rose in hand; the earth shaker had decided that the Brotherhood would be no one's lackeys ever again. Remy knew it was the younger man's way of honouring Asli's sacrifice for all of them.
A few of the younger mutants turned to watch as Kitty and Illyana led a freshly washed and shaved Piotr into the room, he wordlessly took the seat left on Rogue's other side. A flash of jealousy hit Remy as Rogue's free hand darted out to take hold of Piotr's but it passed-he knew that both of them needed as much comfort as they could get.
Remy closed his eyes as he thought, he had been angry at Asli for shutting him out of the fight at the last minute but it hadn't lasted. Whatever she was Asli had been a leader who was unwilling to make others do something she wouldn't do herself. The only thing that puzzled Remy was how long Asli must have planned on putting herself in harms way-was it before or after Destiny's vision? Remy's gonna miss you mon amie, he closed his eyes and sent the silent words to Asli-wherever she was.
All attention focused on Professor Xavier as he wheeled himself to the fore of the room just to the left of the casket, silence rained down upon them all. "We come here today to honour the memory of our fallen comrade Asli Fraser. I will admit that when I first met her I was inclined to distrust Miss. Fraser-she came here as an enemy-but revealed a sense of justice and honour that I admired greatly. While her methods were not my own, Asli was a champion of peace between human and mutant kind-her death is not only the loss of those who knew and cared for her but of all."
As the Professor's speech ended Remy felt a tug as Rogue turned to watch Lance make his way to the podium. Remy didn't hide his surprise-no one had mentioned any eulogy following the Professor's, others seemed surprised at this change as well but the Professor kindly let the young man take the stage.
Lance's eyes were clear and dry ad he faced the crowd. "Above all Asli Fraser was a survivor. She took everything that life threw at her and kept going. It was something I admired about her. She wasn't perfect by any means, but she tried to at least do right when she could. I was lucky to have known her and even luckier still that she chose to share her time with me." The earth mover turned his head to Asli's portrait, "But, when the days of golden dreams had perished, And even Despair was powerless to destroy, Then did I learn how existence could be cherished, Strengthened, and fed without the aid of joy. Then did I check the tears of useless passion-- Weaned my young soul from yearning after thine; Sternly denied its burning wish to hasten Down to that tomb already more than mine. And, even yet, I dare not let it languish, Dare not indulge in memory's rapturous pain; Once drinking deep of that divinest anguish, How could I seek the empty world again? Emily Bronte said it best, Asli. I will miss you."
Tears welled in Remy's eyes-never before had he thought of Lance as the type to spout poetry-but the boy was right the poem said it all. Looking around Remy was pleased that he wasn't the only one surreptitiously wiping away tears-there wasn't a dry eye in the room.
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TBC?????
First off I don't own the poem 'Remembrance'…that's Emily Bronte's nor do I own the song 'Tears in Heaven' I'm a hack next to Eric Clapton.
Eric Clapton – Tears in Heaven
Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven...
Would you hold my hand
if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven...
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please...begging please
Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven...
Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven...
AN: So I finished this chapter of the arc really fast…teehee…damn muse riding me like a rented mule. I hope this worked for everyone…yes I am moving on with new chapters in the arc never fear. I just REALLY wanted to get this one under my belt. Did anyone really see it coming?
Thanks to everyone for reading.
Pixie-Flyer – How about I make Scott a miserable shell of his former self…then you can kill him? Does that work?
Ish – Yeah, I know you didn't review yet but I hope you appreciate the Romy I put in here for you…and the Piotr angsting artistically…tears! *lol* Aren't you glad I let Rogue and Remy live?