Chapter 2:

The city was alive with people bustling about. Tsuzuki always loved the city and he was quite glad that Hisoka's apartment was smack dab in the middle of it. A scream captured the two's attention to a girl who was being picked on by a group of mean nasty men.

"Oh, you're all so mean! I'll never tell you my deep and disturbing secret!" The girl screamed.

"Hey…that chick's in trouble…" Tsuzuki pointed out.

"Well duh." Hisoka said.

"Shouldn't we help her?"

"No." The two would have kept walking if the girl hadn't overdramatically thrown herself at their feet.

"Damn it. Now we have to help her." Tsuzuki said as he tried to kick the girl off his leg.

The mean men grunted and snorted viciously at Hisoka, who was doing a strange dance around them.

"Hisoka, you fuck up, what are you doing?"

"I'm doing my special dance of torment! It causes my enemies to be confused and vulnerable to my kung-fu grip and ass ravaging attacks! Fear my cat-like reflexes, boys of wonder bread!"

"Oh…" Tsuzuki said in wonder as he watched Hisoka slaughter the mean men.

"Thank you for saving me…" The girl said distantly. Hisoka and Tsuzuki were mesmerized by her beauty. For she had sparkling green hair that waved like gossamer in the wind and unusual golden eyes that could make any man melt with their ethereal glitter.

"My name is Oriana Regailia Daphne Sakura Mika Kamitaka, and I have been chased for many nights by these terrible, terrible, men!" She then dramatically fainted and then got back up.

"That's horrid." Tsuzuki said.

"Damn it, Tsuzuki just kill her so we can go open my cat food." Hisoka mumbled.

"Mm…I suppose that is away…but I feel so bad about resorting to violence…even if she's a skanky butt licking poo lord." Tsuzuki asked.

"Uh…" Hisoka just stared at him.

"Well, it's good to meet you, Oriana Regalia…uh…Sally Jessie Raphael? I'm Tsuzuki and that's Hisoka."

"No, its Daphne Sakura Mika Kamitaka you can call me Oriana. And I'm pleased to meet you…"

"So why are those mean men after you?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that," She said with a whisper as her eyes began to water, "Only the sun and the moon will know, and that one true love that is floating through those stars. Alas ,my terrible secret will keep me from that dream that I love so much. OH THE MANY NIGHTMARES I'VE HAD…"

"Cool. So what's the secret?"

"I shouldn't tell….but I can trust you…for destiny has brought us together! I'm really a shinigami princess!"

"Oh hey, what a co-inki-dink, where shinigami's too."

"OH I KNEW IT! I HAVE FOUND MY OWN KIND! THANK YOU THANK YOU, FATE! NOW I CAN USE MY TRUE POWERS TO FREE THIS VILE PLANET FROM ALL PAIN! FOR I WILL IT TO BE SO! I must will it to be so to make up for what my evil evil long lost brother/sister/father/cousin/mother Muraki Kazutaka has done…"

"Woa…Down bitch." Hisoka said.

"Oh Tsuzuki! MAKE LOVE TO ME!"

Hisoka just stood there for a moment and walked off.

"I'm g-" Tsuzuki tried to scream through her mouth

"Oh! What my love?" She said as she continued kissing him.

"I'M G-"

Hisoka came back to the two with a coffee in one hand and a cheese Danish in the other.

"Hey Tsuzuki I stopped by star bucks and got you a danish…"

"We'll have thousands of kids!" The girl screamed

"Ew, that's a disgusting amount of kids." Hisoka commented while taking a sip from his coffee.

Tsuzki got fed up and pushed her off of him "I'M GAY!"

"What?" she shreaked.

"He's gay." Hisoka said for him.

"Why? Why do you want to hurt me so much? WE WERE IN LOVE!" She said through a mask of tears, she began to glow as the truth set in, "No…I won't believe it!"

"You need proof?" Hisoka asked, "Fine. Tsuzuki, kiss me."

"No…I don't want to…" Tsuzuki said.

"Damn it child, don't make me beat you." Hisoka said while bobbing his head.

"Not in public," He said with a girly blush "and why do you sound like Queen Latifa?"

"WHAT ABOUT MOTHER!?" The girl screamed but no one really paid any attention.

"I bought you a Danish! I thought I meant something to you…" Hisoka said as he began to cry.

"Oh god…a Danish?!" Tsuzki said as he began to cry also. The two were now sad blubbering messes.

"Did you ever know that you're my hero?" Hisoka said.

"You're everything I would like to be…" Tsuzki sobbed as he fed the Danish to a nearby dog.

"I could fly higher than an eagle…"

"You are the wind beneath my wings…oh Tsuzuki lets never fight again…" Hisoka then grabbed Tsuzuki and kissed him tongue and all, (it was one of those nasty doujinshi kisses; you know the type with the groping and the little line of spit down the side of their chins. Yeah…you know you like it.) He then let the taller man go.

"OH MY GOD!" She screamed. She was now glowing a radiant light and all of a sudden she exploded leaving only the stumps of her legs.

"Wow! How magical!" Hisoka said, his eyes were now a freakishly wide size and were extremely watery so it looked like he had pink eye.

"Yeah, almost like fireworks!"

"Let's continue to my house…"

"Oh yes…how joyous…" Tsuzki said.

T.B.C