I am haunted. I'll tell you by what at the end of the fic…

In one of my next fics, I swear I'm going to be nice to her for once. I Swear It.

I'm updating this one day early because tomorrow I'm off to the Lake District for the next week, and the lakes are notorious for thir lack of internet access. See you in one week. Probably dripping wet.

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Fifty Days

Chapter 6: Some Good Advice

"Usul, are you crying for the dead? To whose dead?"

"To those not dead yet."

"Then let them have the time of life."

'Dune', by Frank Herbert

She awoke to find herself bathed in white, laying down on something warm and soft. She tried to sit up, but found it was too much effort.

Am I dead?

As if to answer her question, a face walked up out of the fog, and a woman dressed in white and blue smiled at her.

"Hey," the burse said gently. "Can you hear me?" Quistis nodded. "Good. You gave us quite a scare." Can you talk?

"…Yes," she croaked.

The nurse smiled. "Good. Don't be surprised if it's hard to talk. You've been out a few- well, you've been out a long time," the nurse said.

"What…"

"Happened? A girl and a… strangely dressed… man brought you into Casualty unconscious. Can you tell me whether you have any allergies or infections that might have caused it?"

Quistis held down a laugh. "Just… one."

"What is it?" the woman said, bringing out a clipboard and pen.

Quistis shook her head. "Don't know," she said.

The nurse looked puzzled. "Er, right. Anyway, there's someone here to see you." She walked away, and Quistis heard the sound of a door opening somewhere off to her left, and another set of footsteps enter.

"Quistis?" Ellone asked hesitantly.

Quistis smiled. "Hi."

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

Quistis brought her arm up and tried to rub the sleep from her eyes, then hissed as something sharp and warm tugged it back down. She raised her head and saw that a long thin tube was running into her arm, pumping something into her body.

"Painkillers," Ellone explained sadly. "You were screaming in your sleep."

"How long was I out?" Quistis asked, raising herself up slowly, so as not to disturb any of the equipment.

"Two days. You looked like you needed it. Hyne Quisty, you were running on fumes as it was. How have you been managing this long?"

Quistis chuckled morbidly. "My own special recipe. Cura for painkillers, Silence so no-one would hear me. Sleep for the nights."

"Stupid girl. Zis eez ze perfect recipe for inzanity, nuzzing more," Odine piped in from the door. "Ze magicks will not give yoo ze proper chemicals, zey juzt seem too."

Ellone punched him on the arm. "That isn't very nice!" she said.

Odine shrugged. "Iz true zough. Odine doez not lie!"

Ellone sighed, and brushed a few hairs from Quistis' face. Quistis could see she had been crying. "I don't know what to say," she said weakly. "You can't die. You're you. You defeated a badass sorceress- two badass sorceresses! You can't go like this. We won't let you."

Quistis took Ellone's hand in her grip. "That isn't up to you or me," she whispered.

"It should be," Ellone said forcefully. She hesitated slightly before going on. "Quisty, we had to tell Garden what happened."

Quistis tried to push herself up from the bed. "What did you tell them?" she asked quickly.

Ellone shook her head quickly. "We didn't know what to tell them. We just told… well… never mind, he's here now." She stood and walked over to the door. She talked for a few seconds with someone outside of the door, and then closed it, as Cid came in and closed the door behind her. He drew up the chair Ellone had been using and sat down on it.

"Hello sir," Quistis said.

"Quistis, you don't have to call me sir," Cid said. "Ellone is worried. Is there anything you need to tell me?" He reached forwards and took one of her hands in his. "Anything."

Quistis sighed. "I'm dying," she whispered.

Cid jerked back as if physically struck, and looked hard into Quistis' eyes.

"Don't ask me if I'm joking. I'm not," she said quickly.

Cid blinked. "How?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know. Something's affecting my body. It's… breaking down. I don't have long left before it goes too far," she said calmly.

"Is- Is there a cure?" Cid managed.

Quistis shook her head. "Not until they know what the hell it is first."

Cid sat back on his chair and stared at her. "I- Are you sure? Why did no-one tell me anything?" he asked rhetorically.

"Because no-one knows. I didn't know myself until that Dollet trip. I had signs earlier though…"

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She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and swallowed another aspirin.

First nightmares, now this. Great.

Gulping down the pill with a glass of water, she leaned back in her chair ad tried to go over the case notes for the last exam the students had taken, looking up scores and comparing them to faces in her mind. This one could use more weapons practise. This one here needs more discipline. Brea needs to stop burning her hands off…

She heard footsteps, and turned to see Xu open the door slowly and step into the room. She waved, and turned back to her papers.

"You should get a job like mine. At least I don't have to teach screaming kids all day," the woman said sympathetically.

Quistis sighed and tried to ignore the dull ache in her head. "But at least I get less paperwork."

"Oh I beg to differ," Xu said, pointing at the stack of exams Quistis was currently grading.

Quistis sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Maybe…"

"Come on, you can do these tomorrow," Xu said. "Lets go and have some fun. We can catch the train to Galbadia or Esthar, and we could drag Selphie along!"

Quistis hung her head. "Please no, not Selphie. Anyway, I don't feel up to it today." She pointed at the aforementioned stack of paper.

Xu tutted. "That's what you get for being so damned smart Quisty. One day you'll learn. At least all the paperwork I do only needs a signature."

Point taken. Go!" Quistis said, waving dramatically. She watched as Xu laughed and turned on her heel, walking from the classroom, and then fell back into her chair, taking another long gulp of water from the glass.

Damn my head hurts…

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"And it didn't get any better?" Cid asked.

Quistis shook her head.

"What next?" Cid asked.

"It's not important," she said.

"What are you going to do now?"

Quistis rubbed her eyes. "Finish my classes. Teac-"

"Quistis, you don't have to teach," Cid said.

Quistis sat up. "I want to sir. I know the classes and the cadets, and-"

"Seifer," Cid said simply.

Quistis sat back down. "…Yes," she said.

"Why do you want to teach Seifer, even though you're…"

Quistis looked directly at him. "Because I am not going to screw up the last thing I ever do in my life," she said forcefully.

Cid nodded slightly. "I understand. However, if… if you are unable to continue teaching classes, you need to tell us. Don't push yourself."

Quistis nodded. "I'm not helpless." She swung her legs over the bed and rested them on the floor. "I can still work sir. Please…"

Cid smiled. "Of course, take some time off first though. Seifer, contrary to what you probably expect, has been studying on his own the past few days."

Quistis blinked. That was the last thing she had expected him to do. "He has?" she asked in disbelief.

Cid nodded. "He seems to want to get it right this time. Your goal may not be as hard as you imagine. He is, of course, still insufferably rude, but he tries."

Quistis laughed. "We'll see," she said.

Cid stood, and looked over her, and suddenly the smile vanished from his face. "Why haven't you told anyone?" he asked.

Quistis didn't bother to lie. "Because I didn't want them to know," she replied quietly.

Cid stood. "Quistis, take it from a man who has seen too many of his friends and family vanish into time. I've seen half of the SeeDs at this Garden be killed on missions, and seen the looks on the faces of their friends when they did. No warning, nothing. They just died. You still have hope, and even if... even if you don't, you have time. Don't spend your last days alone Quistis. I doubt even your parents would have wanted that." Cid said. He turned and walked out, leaving Quistis to digest what he had said.

Quistis sat there for about five seconds, and then lay back down on her bed. She was vaguely aware that the lead was still feeding painkillers into her, and the pain would resume with a vengeance once they wore off, but right now she didn't care much.

Have I done this all wrong? I have friends, good friends, but I hid from them when things got difficult…

That is so typical of me…

Maybe I should tell them…

She reached behind her and grasped the button to call the nurse. The woman walked in a few seconds later. "Yes?"

"Can I get out of here please?" Quistis asked, as politely as she could.

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Quistis, Cid, Ellone, and Laguna – of all people – stood at the entrance to the Esthar Airstation as the Ragnarok touched back down. Quistis unconsciously rubbed her arm where the patch had been hastily slapped, dripping a slow yet steady stream of painkiller cocktail into her arm. She saw Ellone watching her from the corner of her vision, and turned towards the young girl, smiling and waving as the dust and grit of the backwash flew around them, temporarily obscuring the view.

She turned back to Ellone. "Thanks. For everything," she whispered, as Cid climbed the rampway before them, to be greeted by an enthusiastic Zell.

Ellone smiled. "No problem," she whispered. Then she took one step forwards and hugged her. "See you around," she said.

Laguna coughed slightly, and Quistis turned to him. He grinned in the way he tended to do when he didn't really know what to say. "Er… Good luck," he said lamely. "If you ever, y'know, need to come back here, you're always welcome. All of you."

Quistis laughed. "You too," she said. "Don't worry so much." She turned, and boarded the airship. "Hi Zell," she said.

Zell grinned, a lot more confidently than Laguna. "You better?" he asked quickly. "Ellone called, and Cid came over. We were all worried. We thought it was serious."

Quistis nodded her head physically, but shook it mentally. No, I'm not. "I'm fine," she said.

Zell clapped his hands together and rushed back up to the elevator. "Next stop, Balamb!" he said, overtaking Cid. The man looked up as the martial artist moved past.

"Can we possibly have a less wavy flight path on the way back?" he asked grimly.

Quistis laughed, and went to help Cid, who waved her off towards the cockpit. She moved past him, up the elevator, towards the clear glass panes on the sides, and stared out as Esthar faded beneath her. She took in every slight, every nuance of the skyline, painfully aware she might never see the city again.

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Ellone watched as the Ragnarok faded from view, and then turned as Laguna put a hand on her shoulder. She smiled weakly for a few seconds, then dropped the pretence and fell onto his shoulder, crying. Laguna tried to comfort her, but it didn't do much good, and she stood there, weeping silently for her friend, for whom she could not do a damned thing.

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