Chapter 2
In the morning, I had to drag myself out of bed. I didn't want to face Ashley's wrath, or Joey's face.
I dressed plainly, not caring about my image, in a pair of jeans and a blue muscle T shirt. I brushed my hair, and went off, getting to school as quickly as I could.
I was just about home free when I had gotten to my locker, from Joey or Ashley, when someone tapped my shoulder, and I had the feeling that it was Joey.
"Hi," he said. I slowly turned around.
"Hi," I said quickly, hurrying away from him.
"What's wrong?" I started to walk. "It's Ashley, isn't it?" I shook my head. "It's not Ashley," I shook my head, and he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him.
"Hey. Just ignore anything that she has to say. We can still be friends." I pulled away.
"I can't talk right now," I said and hurried to class.
After first period, I went to my locker to put my books away when a note had spilled out of my locker.
Meet me by the parking lot, by the exit after school. Don't be late. You know what we'll do to you.
I sighed and leaned up against the wall and crumpled the note into a ball and tossed it into the trash can just as the tardy bell rang. How am I going to do this? Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. I ran to the nurses office and told her that I was sick.
"Are you sure? You don't want to call your mother?"
"Yes!" I hissed. She wrote me a pass and I ran out of the school, driving to Emilia's house and waiting outside her door. Once she had gotten home and seen my car she ran up.
"You don't even know how much trouble you are!" she cried. I got out of the car.
"They are flaming pissed!"
"Can I come over?" I asked.
"Sure." We entered the house.
"I was going to wait by the car and make sure that nothing would happen to you, but I couldn't find your car, and her little posse was waiting and then they were talking and they left. Ashley looked pretty pissed."
"But I don't know how any of them found out!" I cried as we walked into her room.
"She has her spies running around," she muttered
"But he's the one who talked to me!" she shrugged.
"Doesn't matter in her little world. I would quit summer school." I moaned and shook my head.
"Just don't think about it now." The doorbell rang, and I nearly bit my lip off from nervousness. Emilia rolled her eyes and went downstairs.
"Ashley!" she said loudly, probably loud enough for me to hear, I thought.
"Where's May?"
"She's not here."
"Her car's here," Ashley snapped. I thought that I was going to die.
"So? Doesn't mean she's her."
"Let me in." I heard a thump and footsteps on the stairs.
"May!" Emilia screamed and ran after me. Ashley stormed into the room.
"Girls!" Ashley snapped her fingers and 3 of her best friends came charging up the stairs, grabbing g some rope and binding my wrists and ankles.
"Emilia!" I screamed, and they slapped some duct tape around my mouth. They lifted me and carried me out of the house, and down the stairs, tossing me in the back seat of Jessie Bark's van. Ashley got behind the wheel and sped off, Emilia chasing after the van.
"You didn't listen, did you?" Jessie sneered, hanging over the edge of the seat. I tired to crawl out of the binding.
"You just had to go on and disobey us," Karly Sitman said.
"Who's says that I have to listen to you?" I tried to say, but it came out with in a jumble of words. I moaned and closed my eyes. What were they going to do to me?
"Make a left! No, a right! Dammit!" Karly screamed.
"Shut up you bitch! I know where I'm going!" Ashley screamed right back at her. Tears streamed my cheeks.
"Oh, May, you have no idea what we have in store for you," Jessie said, shaking her head. I shook my head and tried to squirm. Suddenly, the van came to a screeching halt and the backdoors of the van opened up and I was carried into an old warehouse.
"In the chair, UN-tape her mouth," Ashley commanded, and I was sat down in a seat and the strip of duct tape ripped off my mouth. I screamed.
"Listen up May," Ashley snapped.
"What are you going to do to me?" I asked.
"Shut up and listen!" she rubbed her hands together and Ashley, Karly, and Jessie started to walk a circle around me.
"You just had to talk to him, didn't you?" Ashley asked, bringing her face close to mine.
"No, he talked to me," I moaned, turning my face away from hers. She started to walk again.
"We told you that if you had talked to him, that you would pay, right? You did get my little note, right?" I shook my head.
"Then why didn't you listen to me!" she shrilled in my ear.
"I didn't talk to Joey! Joey came up and talked to me!" I sputtered.
"You exchanged words with him. That counts. Now you'll pay."
"Please, don't do this to me!" I cried, tears pouring down my cheeks.
"Karly, get the gas can and the matches. Me and May are going to have some fun." My eyes widened and she rubbed her palms together and Karly went to fulfill the order.
"Why isn't Joey getting punished?"
"Oh, believe me, he's going to get punished." Karly came back and looked at Ashley. She nodded, and drew a circle of gasoline around the chair. I started to cry.
"I'm sorry!" I screamed.
"Sorry isn't good enough!" she screamed in my ear and Karly took a match out of the matchbook and scratched it against the back of the book. It lit instantly. My tears went faster.
"I don't want to do this," Karly sang, the match almost burning the tips of her fingers. Jessie nodded and ran out of the room. Ashley waited. Karly dropped the match and the ring of gasoline burst into flames. Ashley laughed wickedly and pulled Karly out of the room.
My desperate screams for help were no use; nobody had heard me. I tried to get out of the chair, but I was bound up tightly. I screamed, but my voice turned into a hoarse whisper, and I started to cough, my lungs filling with black smoke.
Thoughts ran through my mind as I sat there. How was everyone going to react? What was going to happen? I cried silently and coughed. God, please, help! Someone!
A window shattered somewhere in the distance, and I listened keenly to hear someone climbing in.
"Who's there?" A cough sounded over the roar of the flames. "Who's there!"
"May?" someone sputtered, and instantly I knew it was Joey.
"Joey!" I saw his face, the flames practically licking his face.
"May! Hold on," he searched desperately for something to douse the fire.
"There's nothing!" I cried. He sucked in his breath, and he stepped back a few paces.
"Joey?" I thought he was going to leave, but he ran and jumped as far as he could over the flames. I shrieked and he landed on his feet safely.
"Hold on May!" he shouted, coughed, and pulled out his pocket knife and started to saw the rope that bound that kept my wrists to the chair.
"Hurry!" I screamed, and I felt one of the ropes let loose. He started to work on the other, and it let free. I bent over to help him undo the rope at my wrists, but the fire was closing in and the heat was unbearable.
The ropes let loose, and Joey helped me stand up, my legs wobbly.
"OK, What I'm going to do is I'm going to pick you up and toss you over the fire, OK? You have to trust me."
"I'm scared!" I screamed. He shook his head and he placed his arms under my legs and lifted me up. I shook my head and wiped beads of sweat from my forehead.
"I can't do it!"
"You have to!" He counted off, and tossed me over and I went into the air, screaming and hoping that I didn't land awkward. I landed with a thump on my hip, and I started to scream, but Joey landed next to me, his arms crossed over his chest. He scrambled to his feet and helped me up.
"I can't walk!" I shouted in his ear. My ankles were bleeding from the rope that had cut them and my wrists also. He tossed him around my neck and lifted me up again, carrying me out of the room and into the daylight. I coughed, and crumbled to the green earth. My clothes were coated with black ash and I couldn't stop coughing. I sprawled out on the grass on my back and took deep breaths. Joey collapsed beneath me.
"Are, you OK?" He asked breathlessly. I nodded and took a deep breath and sat up.
"Now what?" I asked.
"First. a hospital," he announced and helped me to my feet. We staggered over to Joey's car and crawled in the back seat, collapsing like a marionette puppet.
The doctors had treated us, and of course, had to call our parents. Mommy and Daddy flew right in, clustered together, as if holding on for dear life.
"May!" Mommy nearly screamed as she ran over to my bedside and wrapped me into her arms, about to crush me. Her tears escaped abruptly and she sobbed uncontrollably. Daddy stood and waited for his turned.
"I- I don't know what to say. What happened? Who did this? What's going on?" Mommy cried, sitting at the edge of the bedside. I sighed and closed my eyes painfully. I knew it was coming. Down in the deep depths of my heart, I knew there was going to be questions.
"It's a long story-" I began but Mommy impatiently cut me off.
"Oh, believe me missy, you're going to tell it all. Down to how the smoke smelled." I sighed again and began once more. I explained the whole story, fighting back tears as I explained it all. Mommy wrapped me in her embrace once more and stepped back.
"Why didn't you just come home and explain to us what was going on? We could have talked to Ashley's parents. . ."
"It wouldn't have mattered," I said softly as I wrapped my blanket around me tighter.
"It would have!" Mommy screeched.
"Amanda," Daddy placed his hand on Mommy's shoulder. She spun around gracefully on her heels and confronted him silently. He grunted and turned towards me.
"Darling," he said softly. I anticipated something, in which I held myself tighter. Joey had walked into the room jus as Daddy was going to say something. I sighed gratefully.
"How are you May?" Joey asked as he walked over to me. Daddy looked angry, and so did Mommy.
"I'm fine Joey," I said softly, a flush coming to my cheeks as I tried to avoid my parent's eyes.
"I wanted to check on you before my parents came and yelled at me for an hour."
"Speaking of which," I whispered. "Me and my parents are talking. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to go." He chewed on his lip and backed away, nodding at my parents and shutting the door after giving me an apologetic glance.
"You owe him your life," he said. I nodded agreeably.
"I know Daddy."
"But you owe us an explanation of many things. Like why you had even let them take you, why you had gone to Emilia's house, and. . ." His voice trailed off.
"I just explained that to you." He sighed and slumped in a chair, pressing his palm to his forehead. Mommy looked at me nervously.
"I'm going to check on what the doctor has to say," Mommy said quickly and bolted out of the room as she left me and Daddy sitting in an uncomfortable silence.
"This hasn't happened before," said Daddy after moments of silence.
"I know."
"No, I'm talking about this awkward silence. It's never happened before." I chewed on my lip.
"We've always been communicative," he added. I nodded.
"But what is there to talk about?" I asked softly, lowering my eyes.
"Well, I could think of a few," he said, taking my hand in to his large one. I sat up and wrapped the blanket around my waist. He looked up at me and smiled.
"Me and your mother have been wanting to talk about this when you were much older, perhaps 18." That was almost two years away from now. What was so important that they had to wait such a long time?
"But, it's best to tell you know. I can't leave you in suspense." But he had left me waiting the night that I had heard my parents talking. Was that what this was about?
"What is it daddy?" I asked in a near whisper as I clutched the sheet for dear life. He sighed and shook his head. I was about to scream.
"You were . . . " Mommy charged into the room, and instantly she had know what Daddy was talking about.
"NO!" She screamed, but Daddy had blurted it to late.
"Adopted."
My eyes had darted over to Daddy and Mommy, who was crumbling to the ground at Daddy's feet.
"How could you? How could you?" she sobbed as she clawed at Daddy's legs. He shoved her out of the way and stood up.
I sat there frozen. I was afraid to move. Maybe if I don't, I'll wake up, I thought. My heart pounded, sweat beads perspired on my brow. A shiver crawled up my spine. Mothers sobs and Daddy's silence were blocked out by screams. Screams that were mine. They came clear and long, traveling down the hospital corridor. Daddy came over to wrap me in his embrace, but I shoved him away and continued to scream until Joey ran into the room and slapped his hand over my mouth.
"May!" he shouted over my fading screams. "What the hell is going on?" I shook my head as tears surfaced and rolled down my cheeks, making marks showing that a thin layer of soot had covered my face.
"No, no, no, no," I repeated, shaking my head over and over again. "No."
"What?" Joey looked quizzically at my father and turned back to me.
"No."
"I'm sorry May. But I had to tell you," Daddy said. Mommy's head popped up, her cheeks streaked with black tears.
"You didn't have to tell her!" Mommy screamed back at him. He ignored her.
"You're lying," I finally said, looking up at Daddy. "You're lying." I laughed quickly. Mommy's eyes widened. Daddy wrapped his hands across his chest.
"I'm not lying Amanda."
"Yes you are. Why is it that we all look so alike? I have Mommy's hair and eyes, and your dimples and smile. It's not possible. You are my biological parents." He sighed.
"I feared this would happen," he muttered. Mommy looked around.
"What?" I cocked my head to the side.
"May, you're not understanding," he took my hand again and squeezed it. "You're adopted."
"But Daddy, I can't be. You have my birth certificates, shot records, you have everything. Even a tape of my birth."
"That was fake," Daddy said, his temper rising. "Your Mother was once pregnant, but the baby had died, and we had passed it off as your birth." I remembered watching the tape many times, amazed.
"Why would you do that?" My tears moved faster.
"We love you very much honey and we wanted to protect you."
"I don't believe you." I folded my hands across my breasts and sat there, pouting. Daddy sighed.
"I hoped that it didn't have to resort to this. Get up Amanda," Daddy commanded. Mommy stood up and they headed to the door.
"Resort to what?" I asked as they walked out. "Daddy!" I turned to Joey.
"What's going on May?" He asked cautiously.
"They're telling me that I'm adopted," I said, laughing through my tears. How strange, I thought.
"Well, maybe you are."
"But I'm not!" I screamed back at him. "I'm not! They can't prove it!" Joey looked frightened as Daddy and Mommy walked back into the room with a doctor.
"Hello May," he had said. I ignored him and looked at Daddy and Mommy.
"Dr. Cord wants to talk to you," Mommy whispered, and clung to Daddy. He threw his arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek.
"May, why don't we go into another room?" he asked. I nodded and gratefully threw the covers off of me and followed him down the hall into another examining room and I sat down on the bed. He shut the door and locked it. I didn't panic.
"May." He rubbed his hands together. "Why don't you believe that you aren't adopted?"
"It's because I'm not," I told him. Joey walked by, and he tried the doorknob, but it was locked. I nodded to him and he sighed and walked away. He scribbled something on his clipboard.
"Are you in denial?"
"No, I know I wasn't adopted." Again he scribbled something down on the clipboard. Silence. He walked over to the phone that was mounted on the wall, dialed a number, and requested the nurse to come with some kind of medicine that I could pronounce. He hung up and looked over my way.
"In just a sec, you'll be just fine," he said and smiled as someone knocked on the door, and he went over to answer it. A short, red headed woman walked into the room, her hands behind her back. She swiftly handed whatever she had to the doctor and she gathered a bottle of alcohol and a cotton ball. She raised my sleeve and started to rub some alcohol on it.
"What's going on?" I asked Dr. Cord. He smiled and walked towards me.
"In just a few seconds, you'll be relaxed," he sang and held up a syringe to the light. He tested it and medicine squirted out. I froze in panic as I looked at how much was in there. 20cc's!
"Relax May," he said softly and staggered towards me. I leaped up from the table and pounded on the door.
"Joey! Mommy! Daddy!" I screamed, pounding on the glass. The doctor walked towards me.
"Now, now May," he comforted, but I spun around and smacked the syringe out of his hand. It flew across the room and slammed on the wall. Dr. Cord looked into my eyes, his light brown ones burning inside of mine.
"Luckily Miss Baxter brought another." She pulled it out and showcased it as she handed it to Dr. Cord. He placed his palms on the wall, preventing my escape, and slowly brought the needle to my arm. My arm slid over to grab something, and I found and button and pressed it just as he was going to press it into my arm. An alarm screamed in my ear, and a team of nurses came rushing in after they had unlocked the door. I had pushed Dr. Cord off of me and ran out of the room, looking around for someone, anyone!
"May!" I turned around and saw Joey running towards me. I ran to him and sobbed, burying my face into his chest. His arms went around me slowly, and I felt a warm shiver run up my spine, but I didn't care at the moment.
"What happened?"
"Oh Joey, it was horrible! They were going to give me some kind of drug!" I cried. "They locked me in."
"Shh," he said and rubbed my back. Shivers still continued to go up my spine.
"Just get me out of here," I wailed and he let go of me and went to find my parents. I sat in the lobby and waited.
On the way home, nobody had spoken. Mommy had stared out the window the whole time, Daddy kept his attention focused on the road, and I looked at the both of them, wondering why. . . Why?
We walked into the house together, still nobody speaking. The silence was deafening. Why couldn't anyone just speak! I felt like screaming.
"Honey, don't go right up to bed just yet," Daddy called after me as I was walking up the stairs to my room. I spun around and walked into the den.
"May, we're so sorry," Mommy said, sweeping me into her arms. I closed my eyes.
"I don't want to talk about it," I whispered.
"But we have to!" Daddy walked out of the room and returned with some papers. He shoved them in my direction.
"You're a smart girl May, aren't you? Now you look at these papers and you tell me that you aren't adopted." I snatched them from him and read them quickly. There was a birth certificate and legal adoption papers. There was an envelope addressed to me, but I decided that I would read it later. "Do you believe us now?" I didn't answer.
"We're sorry," Mommy whispered in my ear and released me. I shuffled up to my room and sat down on my bed, feeling just so tired. The letter sealed in an envelope was still in my hand, and I decided, what better time to read it? I tore it open, noticing that there wasn't an address on it.
Darling May,
I'm sure by now that you have figured out that you were adopted and you were not your parents child.I know this might be devestating, but this is the truth.
I am writing this to you now just before Jim and Amanda get home, and my boyfriend, your father. Your Father was not a very caring man. Usually everynight he came home drunk, and even some women from the bar. More or less, he was abusive. He beat me often, especially when I was pregnant with you. He said that this would be the last child I would ever have, and threw me across the room, and I almost miscarried, but I held on dearly, because I couldn't let my darling May die.
Our living conditions were never very well. We lived a tiny two bedroom apartment in the ghetto of the neighborhood. We never had money for food, we were on food stamps for the longest time. We didn't have the many things that we wanted, or need. Like a television, a microwave, working oven, such things like that. We depended on the Salvation Army, and the Goodwill alot. But the most important thing was, I needed to get you out of there.
Jake wouldn't let me escape. I had to find my own way out. I finally escaped in the night, and I'm currently staying at a shelter.
Now, more about your personal life. You were born on January 4th, 1987, in our little tiny apartment. You are the youngest out of four, July, June, and April, in order.
Your new parents just walked in the door. I must end this quickly, because your parents are anxious for you. I love you with all of my heart and maybe we will meet again.
Love,
Mother.
I didn't realize that I was crying until I had seen tear drops appearing on the pages. I quickly flicked them away, and the letter wafted from my hands to the floor. I told myself I wasn't going to cry, but. . . how could you not cry when you read a letter as emotional as that was? I folded my hands across my breasts and leaned against the wall, crying.
Why was I feeling sorry for myself? That all I was doing? I imagined myself walking down the hallways with my head lowered, tears wanting to come to the surface, but I wouldn't let them. I wanted people to feel sorry for me. That's what I had really wanted.
I screamed and smacked a pillow out of my way, sending it across the room and smacking a picture in a porcelain frame and crashing to the ground. I started to sob hysterically and I scampered over to the picture and picked it up, the frame cracked.
It was a picture of me, my mother, and Daddy standing in front of an oak tree. I was probably about 7 at the time. A shiver ran up my spine and my fingers, my broken nails ran along the broken glass over the picture. It was almost as if I could feel the love that we all expressed that day.
I put the picture on the floor, intending to repair it later, and pressed my hand over my mouth, sobbing. I could hear footstpes on the stairs, and someone knocked at the door.
"Go away, I'm fine," I said hoarsely to the person on the otherside of the door, and I crawled up to my bed. I looked at the nightstand to my right. A lavender purple phone sat there, hardly un-used. Who could I call? I called Emilia often, but she hardly had much to say, and I didn't have Joey's phone number. But I reluctantly picked up the phone and dialed the operator.
"Hello," an automatic voice said.
"Can I find the number of a boy named Joey Lawson?"
"Which area?" I sighed and started to think. I rattled off the zip code to her, and the phone started to ring. I jumped, and almost prayed that he wouldn't answer.
"Hello?" A woman's voice asked. Surely his mother, I thought.
"Joey please?" I choked and cleared my throat.
"Hold on," she said softly, and it grew silent. Any minute now, I would be talking to Joey. . .
"Hello?" he finally said. I swallowed. I couldn't speak!
"Hello?" he repeated. I cried out.
"Sorry," I coughed.
"May?"
"Yes."
"Why didn't you say something?" he cried.
"I'm sorry! I got choked up!"
"How'd you get my number?" he questioned.
"Oh, I got it from the operator. Sorry if I bothered you," I said and took the phone from my ear, but he screamed, "Wait!"
"What?"
"I wanted to talk to you May."
"Joey?" I whimpered.
"What?"
"Can I talk to you? It's really important."
"Yea, sure, what's it about?"
"No, I need to get away from here. Can we meet at like the supermarket or something?"
"Uhh, sure. When?"
"Now, it's really important."
"OK May." He hung up, and I reached for my jacket and grabbed my car keys.
In the morning, I had to drag myself out of bed. I didn't want to face Ashley's wrath, or Joey's face.
I dressed plainly, not caring about my image, in a pair of jeans and a blue muscle T shirt. I brushed my hair, and went off, getting to school as quickly as I could.
I was just about home free when I had gotten to my locker, from Joey or Ashley, when someone tapped my shoulder, and I had the feeling that it was Joey.
"Hi," he said. I slowly turned around.
"Hi," I said quickly, hurrying away from him.
"What's wrong?" I started to walk. "It's Ashley, isn't it?" I shook my head. "It's not Ashley," I shook my head, and he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him.
"Hey. Just ignore anything that she has to say. We can still be friends." I pulled away.
"I can't talk right now," I said and hurried to class.
After first period, I went to my locker to put my books away when a note had spilled out of my locker.
Meet me by the parking lot, by the exit after school. Don't be late. You know what we'll do to you.
I sighed and leaned up against the wall and crumpled the note into a ball and tossed it into the trash can just as the tardy bell rang. How am I going to do this? Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. I ran to the nurses office and told her that I was sick.
"Are you sure? You don't want to call your mother?"
"Yes!" I hissed. She wrote me a pass and I ran out of the school, driving to Emilia's house and waiting outside her door. Once she had gotten home and seen my car she ran up.
"You don't even know how much trouble you are!" she cried. I got out of the car.
"They are flaming pissed!"
"Can I come over?" I asked.
"Sure." We entered the house.
"I was going to wait by the car and make sure that nothing would happen to you, but I couldn't find your car, and her little posse was waiting and then they were talking and they left. Ashley looked pretty pissed."
"But I don't know how any of them found out!" I cried as we walked into her room.
"She has her spies running around," she muttered
"But he's the one who talked to me!" she shrugged.
"Doesn't matter in her little world. I would quit summer school." I moaned and shook my head.
"Just don't think about it now." The doorbell rang, and I nearly bit my lip off from nervousness. Emilia rolled her eyes and went downstairs.
"Ashley!" she said loudly, probably loud enough for me to hear, I thought.
"Where's May?"
"She's not here."
"Her car's here," Ashley snapped. I thought that I was going to die.
"So? Doesn't mean she's her."
"Let me in." I heard a thump and footsteps on the stairs.
"May!" Emilia screamed and ran after me. Ashley stormed into the room.
"Girls!" Ashley snapped her fingers and 3 of her best friends came charging up the stairs, grabbing g some rope and binding my wrists and ankles.
"Emilia!" I screamed, and they slapped some duct tape around my mouth. They lifted me and carried me out of the house, and down the stairs, tossing me in the back seat of Jessie Bark's van. Ashley got behind the wheel and sped off, Emilia chasing after the van.
"You didn't listen, did you?" Jessie sneered, hanging over the edge of the seat. I tired to crawl out of the binding.
"You just had to go on and disobey us," Karly Sitman said.
"Who's says that I have to listen to you?" I tried to say, but it came out with in a jumble of words. I moaned and closed my eyes. What were they going to do to me?
"Make a left! No, a right! Dammit!" Karly screamed.
"Shut up you bitch! I know where I'm going!" Ashley screamed right back at her. Tears streamed my cheeks.
"Oh, May, you have no idea what we have in store for you," Jessie said, shaking her head. I shook my head and tried to squirm. Suddenly, the van came to a screeching halt and the backdoors of the van opened up and I was carried into an old warehouse.
"In the chair, UN-tape her mouth," Ashley commanded, and I was sat down in a seat and the strip of duct tape ripped off my mouth. I screamed.
"Listen up May," Ashley snapped.
"What are you going to do to me?" I asked.
"Shut up and listen!" she rubbed her hands together and Ashley, Karly, and Jessie started to walk a circle around me.
"You just had to talk to him, didn't you?" Ashley asked, bringing her face close to mine.
"No, he talked to me," I moaned, turning my face away from hers. She started to walk again.
"We told you that if you had talked to him, that you would pay, right? You did get my little note, right?" I shook my head.
"Then why didn't you listen to me!" she shrilled in my ear.
"I didn't talk to Joey! Joey came up and talked to me!" I sputtered.
"You exchanged words with him. That counts. Now you'll pay."
"Please, don't do this to me!" I cried, tears pouring down my cheeks.
"Karly, get the gas can and the matches. Me and May are going to have some fun." My eyes widened and she rubbed her palms together and Karly went to fulfill the order.
"Why isn't Joey getting punished?"
"Oh, believe me, he's going to get punished." Karly came back and looked at Ashley. She nodded, and drew a circle of gasoline around the chair. I started to cry.
"I'm sorry!" I screamed.
"Sorry isn't good enough!" she screamed in my ear and Karly took a match out of the matchbook and scratched it against the back of the book. It lit instantly. My tears went faster.
"I don't want to do this," Karly sang, the match almost burning the tips of her fingers. Jessie nodded and ran out of the room. Ashley waited. Karly dropped the match and the ring of gasoline burst into flames. Ashley laughed wickedly and pulled Karly out of the room.
My desperate screams for help were no use; nobody had heard me. I tried to get out of the chair, but I was bound up tightly. I screamed, but my voice turned into a hoarse whisper, and I started to cough, my lungs filling with black smoke.
Thoughts ran through my mind as I sat there. How was everyone going to react? What was going to happen? I cried silently and coughed. God, please, help! Someone!
A window shattered somewhere in the distance, and I listened keenly to hear someone climbing in.
"Who's there?" A cough sounded over the roar of the flames. "Who's there!"
"May?" someone sputtered, and instantly I knew it was Joey.
"Joey!" I saw his face, the flames practically licking his face.
"May! Hold on," he searched desperately for something to douse the fire.
"There's nothing!" I cried. He sucked in his breath, and he stepped back a few paces.
"Joey?" I thought he was going to leave, but he ran and jumped as far as he could over the flames. I shrieked and he landed on his feet safely.
"Hold on May!" he shouted, coughed, and pulled out his pocket knife and started to saw the rope that bound that kept my wrists to the chair.
"Hurry!" I screamed, and I felt one of the ropes let loose. He started to work on the other, and it let free. I bent over to help him undo the rope at my wrists, but the fire was closing in and the heat was unbearable.
The ropes let loose, and Joey helped me stand up, my legs wobbly.
"OK, What I'm going to do is I'm going to pick you up and toss you over the fire, OK? You have to trust me."
"I'm scared!" I screamed. He shook his head and he placed his arms under my legs and lifted me up. I shook my head and wiped beads of sweat from my forehead.
"I can't do it!"
"You have to!" He counted off, and tossed me over and I went into the air, screaming and hoping that I didn't land awkward. I landed with a thump on my hip, and I started to scream, but Joey landed next to me, his arms crossed over his chest. He scrambled to his feet and helped me up.
"I can't walk!" I shouted in his ear. My ankles were bleeding from the rope that had cut them and my wrists also. He tossed him around my neck and lifted me up again, carrying me out of the room and into the daylight. I coughed, and crumbled to the green earth. My clothes were coated with black ash and I couldn't stop coughing. I sprawled out on the grass on my back and took deep breaths. Joey collapsed beneath me.
"Are, you OK?" He asked breathlessly. I nodded and took a deep breath and sat up.
"Now what?" I asked.
"First. a hospital," he announced and helped me to my feet. We staggered over to Joey's car and crawled in the back seat, collapsing like a marionette puppet.
The doctors had treated us, and of course, had to call our parents. Mommy and Daddy flew right in, clustered together, as if holding on for dear life.
"May!" Mommy nearly screamed as she ran over to my bedside and wrapped me into her arms, about to crush me. Her tears escaped abruptly and she sobbed uncontrollably. Daddy stood and waited for his turned.
"I- I don't know what to say. What happened? Who did this? What's going on?" Mommy cried, sitting at the edge of the bedside. I sighed and closed my eyes painfully. I knew it was coming. Down in the deep depths of my heart, I knew there was going to be questions.
"It's a long story-" I began but Mommy impatiently cut me off.
"Oh, believe me missy, you're going to tell it all. Down to how the smoke smelled." I sighed again and began once more. I explained the whole story, fighting back tears as I explained it all. Mommy wrapped me in her embrace once more and stepped back.
"Why didn't you just come home and explain to us what was going on? We could have talked to Ashley's parents. . ."
"It wouldn't have mattered," I said softly as I wrapped my blanket around me tighter.
"It would have!" Mommy screeched.
"Amanda," Daddy placed his hand on Mommy's shoulder. She spun around gracefully on her heels and confronted him silently. He grunted and turned towards me.
"Darling," he said softly. I anticipated something, in which I held myself tighter. Joey had walked into the room jus as Daddy was going to say something. I sighed gratefully.
"How are you May?" Joey asked as he walked over to me. Daddy looked angry, and so did Mommy.
"I'm fine Joey," I said softly, a flush coming to my cheeks as I tried to avoid my parent's eyes.
"I wanted to check on you before my parents came and yelled at me for an hour."
"Speaking of which," I whispered. "Me and my parents are talking. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to go." He chewed on his lip and backed away, nodding at my parents and shutting the door after giving me an apologetic glance.
"You owe him your life," he said. I nodded agreeably.
"I know Daddy."
"But you owe us an explanation of many things. Like why you had even let them take you, why you had gone to Emilia's house, and. . ." His voice trailed off.
"I just explained that to you." He sighed and slumped in a chair, pressing his palm to his forehead. Mommy looked at me nervously.
"I'm going to check on what the doctor has to say," Mommy said quickly and bolted out of the room as she left me and Daddy sitting in an uncomfortable silence.
"This hasn't happened before," said Daddy after moments of silence.
"I know."
"No, I'm talking about this awkward silence. It's never happened before." I chewed on my lip.
"We've always been communicative," he added. I nodded.
"But what is there to talk about?" I asked softly, lowering my eyes.
"Well, I could think of a few," he said, taking my hand in to his large one. I sat up and wrapped the blanket around my waist. He looked up at me and smiled.
"Me and your mother have been wanting to talk about this when you were much older, perhaps 18." That was almost two years away from now. What was so important that they had to wait such a long time?
"But, it's best to tell you know. I can't leave you in suspense." But he had left me waiting the night that I had heard my parents talking. Was that what this was about?
"What is it daddy?" I asked in a near whisper as I clutched the sheet for dear life. He sighed and shook his head. I was about to scream.
"You were . . . " Mommy charged into the room, and instantly she had know what Daddy was talking about.
"NO!" She screamed, but Daddy had blurted it to late.
"Adopted."
My eyes had darted over to Daddy and Mommy, who was crumbling to the ground at Daddy's feet.
"How could you? How could you?" she sobbed as she clawed at Daddy's legs. He shoved her out of the way and stood up.
I sat there frozen. I was afraid to move. Maybe if I don't, I'll wake up, I thought. My heart pounded, sweat beads perspired on my brow. A shiver crawled up my spine. Mothers sobs and Daddy's silence were blocked out by screams. Screams that were mine. They came clear and long, traveling down the hospital corridor. Daddy came over to wrap me in his embrace, but I shoved him away and continued to scream until Joey ran into the room and slapped his hand over my mouth.
"May!" he shouted over my fading screams. "What the hell is going on?" I shook my head as tears surfaced and rolled down my cheeks, making marks showing that a thin layer of soot had covered my face.
"No, no, no, no," I repeated, shaking my head over and over again. "No."
"What?" Joey looked quizzically at my father and turned back to me.
"No."
"I'm sorry May. But I had to tell you," Daddy said. Mommy's head popped up, her cheeks streaked with black tears.
"You didn't have to tell her!" Mommy screamed back at him. He ignored her.
"You're lying," I finally said, looking up at Daddy. "You're lying." I laughed quickly. Mommy's eyes widened. Daddy wrapped his hands across his chest.
"I'm not lying Amanda."
"Yes you are. Why is it that we all look so alike? I have Mommy's hair and eyes, and your dimples and smile. It's not possible. You are my biological parents." He sighed.
"I feared this would happen," he muttered. Mommy looked around.
"What?" I cocked my head to the side.
"May, you're not understanding," he took my hand again and squeezed it. "You're adopted."
"But Daddy, I can't be. You have my birth certificates, shot records, you have everything. Even a tape of my birth."
"That was fake," Daddy said, his temper rising. "Your Mother was once pregnant, but the baby had died, and we had passed it off as your birth." I remembered watching the tape many times, amazed.
"Why would you do that?" My tears moved faster.
"We love you very much honey and we wanted to protect you."
"I don't believe you." I folded my hands across my breasts and sat there, pouting. Daddy sighed.
"I hoped that it didn't have to resort to this. Get up Amanda," Daddy commanded. Mommy stood up and they headed to the door.
"Resort to what?" I asked as they walked out. "Daddy!" I turned to Joey.
"What's going on May?" He asked cautiously.
"They're telling me that I'm adopted," I said, laughing through my tears. How strange, I thought.
"Well, maybe you are."
"But I'm not!" I screamed back at him. "I'm not! They can't prove it!" Joey looked frightened as Daddy and Mommy walked back into the room with a doctor.
"Hello May," he had said. I ignored him and looked at Daddy and Mommy.
"Dr. Cord wants to talk to you," Mommy whispered, and clung to Daddy. He threw his arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek.
"May, why don't we go into another room?" he asked. I nodded and gratefully threw the covers off of me and followed him down the hall into another examining room and I sat down on the bed. He shut the door and locked it. I didn't panic.
"May." He rubbed his hands together. "Why don't you believe that you aren't adopted?"
"It's because I'm not," I told him. Joey walked by, and he tried the doorknob, but it was locked. I nodded to him and he sighed and walked away. He scribbled something on his clipboard.
"Are you in denial?"
"No, I know I wasn't adopted." Again he scribbled something down on the clipboard. Silence. He walked over to the phone that was mounted on the wall, dialed a number, and requested the nurse to come with some kind of medicine that I could pronounce. He hung up and looked over my way.
"In just a sec, you'll be just fine," he said and smiled as someone knocked on the door, and he went over to answer it. A short, red headed woman walked into the room, her hands behind her back. She swiftly handed whatever she had to the doctor and she gathered a bottle of alcohol and a cotton ball. She raised my sleeve and started to rub some alcohol on it.
"What's going on?" I asked Dr. Cord. He smiled and walked towards me.
"In just a few seconds, you'll be relaxed," he sang and held up a syringe to the light. He tested it and medicine squirted out. I froze in panic as I looked at how much was in there. 20cc's!
"Relax May," he said softly and staggered towards me. I leaped up from the table and pounded on the door.
"Joey! Mommy! Daddy!" I screamed, pounding on the glass. The doctor walked towards me.
"Now, now May," he comforted, but I spun around and smacked the syringe out of his hand. It flew across the room and slammed on the wall. Dr. Cord looked into my eyes, his light brown ones burning inside of mine.
"Luckily Miss Baxter brought another." She pulled it out and showcased it as she handed it to Dr. Cord. He placed his palms on the wall, preventing my escape, and slowly brought the needle to my arm. My arm slid over to grab something, and I found and button and pressed it just as he was going to press it into my arm. An alarm screamed in my ear, and a team of nurses came rushing in after they had unlocked the door. I had pushed Dr. Cord off of me and ran out of the room, looking around for someone, anyone!
"May!" I turned around and saw Joey running towards me. I ran to him and sobbed, burying my face into his chest. His arms went around me slowly, and I felt a warm shiver run up my spine, but I didn't care at the moment.
"What happened?"
"Oh Joey, it was horrible! They were going to give me some kind of drug!" I cried. "They locked me in."
"Shh," he said and rubbed my back. Shivers still continued to go up my spine.
"Just get me out of here," I wailed and he let go of me and went to find my parents. I sat in the lobby and waited.
On the way home, nobody had spoken. Mommy had stared out the window the whole time, Daddy kept his attention focused on the road, and I looked at the both of them, wondering why. . . Why?
We walked into the house together, still nobody speaking. The silence was deafening. Why couldn't anyone just speak! I felt like screaming.
"Honey, don't go right up to bed just yet," Daddy called after me as I was walking up the stairs to my room. I spun around and walked into the den.
"May, we're so sorry," Mommy said, sweeping me into her arms. I closed my eyes.
"I don't want to talk about it," I whispered.
"But we have to!" Daddy walked out of the room and returned with some papers. He shoved them in my direction.
"You're a smart girl May, aren't you? Now you look at these papers and you tell me that you aren't adopted." I snatched them from him and read them quickly. There was a birth certificate and legal adoption papers. There was an envelope addressed to me, but I decided that I would read it later. "Do you believe us now?" I didn't answer.
"We're sorry," Mommy whispered in my ear and released me. I shuffled up to my room and sat down on my bed, feeling just so tired. The letter sealed in an envelope was still in my hand, and I decided, what better time to read it? I tore it open, noticing that there wasn't an address on it.
Darling May,
I'm sure by now that you have figured out that you were adopted and you were not your parents child.I know this might be devestating, but this is the truth.
I am writing this to you now just before Jim and Amanda get home, and my boyfriend, your father. Your Father was not a very caring man. Usually everynight he came home drunk, and even some women from the bar. More or less, he was abusive. He beat me often, especially when I was pregnant with you. He said that this would be the last child I would ever have, and threw me across the room, and I almost miscarried, but I held on dearly, because I couldn't let my darling May die.
Our living conditions were never very well. We lived a tiny two bedroom apartment in the ghetto of the neighborhood. We never had money for food, we were on food stamps for the longest time. We didn't have the many things that we wanted, or need. Like a television, a microwave, working oven, such things like that. We depended on the Salvation Army, and the Goodwill alot. But the most important thing was, I needed to get you out of there.
Jake wouldn't let me escape. I had to find my own way out. I finally escaped in the night, and I'm currently staying at a shelter.
Now, more about your personal life. You were born on January 4th, 1987, in our little tiny apartment. You are the youngest out of four, July, June, and April, in order.
Your new parents just walked in the door. I must end this quickly, because your parents are anxious for you. I love you with all of my heart and maybe we will meet again.
Love,
Mother.
I didn't realize that I was crying until I had seen tear drops appearing on the pages. I quickly flicked them away, and the letter wafted from my hands to the floor. I told myself I wasn't going to cry, but. . . how could you not cry when you read a letter as emotional as that was? I folded my hands across my breasts and leaned against the wall, crying.
Why was I feeling sorry for myself? That all I was doing? I imagined myself walking down the hallways with my head lowered, tears wanting to come to the surface, but I wouldn't let them. I wanted people to feel sorry for me. That's what I had really wanted.
I screamed and smacked a pillow out of my way, sending it across the room and smacking a picture in a porcelain frame and crashing to the ground. I started to sob hysterically and I scampered over to the picture and picked it up, the frame cracked.
It was a picture of me, my mother, and Daddy standing in front of an oak tree. I was probably about 7 at the time. A shiver ran up my spine and my fingers, my broken nails ran along the broken glass over the picture. It was almost as if I could feel the love that we all expressed that day.
I put the picture on the floor, intending to repair it later, and pressed my hand over my mouth, sobbing. I could hear footstpes on the stairs, and someone knocked at the door.
"Go away, I'm fine," I said hoarsely to the person on the otherside of the door, and I crawled up to my bed. I looked at the nightstand to my right. A lavender purple phone sat there, hardly un-used. Who could I call? I called Emilia often, but she hardly had much to say, and I didn't have Joey's phone number. But I reluctantly picked up the phone and dialed the operator.
"Hello," an automatic voice said.
"Can I find the number of a boy named Joey Lawson?"
"Which area?" I sighed and started to think. I rattled off the zip code to her, and the phone started to ring. I jumped, and almost prayed that he wouldn't answer.
"Hello?" A woman's voice asked. Surely his mother, I thought.
"Joey please?" I choked and cleared my throat.
"Hold on," she said softly, and it grew silent. Any minute now, I would be talking to Joey. . .
"Hello?" he finally said. I swallowed. I couldn't speak!
"Hello?" he repeated. I cried out.
"Sorry," I coughed.
"May?"
"Yes."
"Why didn't you say something?" he cried.
"I'm sorry! I got choked up!"
"How'd you get my number?" he questioned.
"Oh, I got it from the operator. Sorry if I bothered you," I said and took the phone from my ear, but he screamed, "Wait!"
"What?"
"I wanted to talk to you May."
"Joey?" I whimpered.
"What?"
"Can I talk to you? It's really important."
"Yea, sure, what's it about?"
"No, I need to get away from here. Can we meet at like the supermarket or something?"
"Uhh, sure. When?"
"Now, it's really important."
"OK May." He hung up, and I reached for my jacket and grabbed my car keys.