Disclaimer: Pretty much everything belongs to Gecko etc.
A/N: Thanks again to Abby for beta reading. I'd like to start your fan club. Also, I wanted to say thanks to all of you who reviewed the last chapter. I've never had so many reviews of a single chapter before! I hope you like this one as much!
Fame and Fortune Cookies
Part Two: Mr Wong's Cantonese Restaurant
From the moment she arrived at the restaurant Sam Carter was already beginning to regret agreeing to her date.
Actually, in all fairness it wasn't from the exact moment of her arrival, just from the minute she caught her first glimpse of Jeremy's tie. What was it about those scientists at Area 51 that made them continuously mistake irony for really bad fashion sense?
A black tie covered in little green men? For God's sake, it wasn't even funny.
Closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, Sam plastered on her most winning smile and made her way over to the table where her date stood waiting like a gentleman, ready to pull out her chair. She knew something was coming, but she just didn't know what. Still, she began to mentally calculate how long it would be before he came out with something like.
"Greetings Earthling!"
And she hadn't even sat down yet. That had to be a record.
Resisting the urge to make a bolt for the door before he began quoting from the X Files, Sam avoided eye contact with the now staring patrons and slid self-consciously into her chair. After about a minute wherein it seemed Jeremy was waiting for a round of applause from the astounded onlookers, he took his seat somewhat dejectedly and regarded her for a moment.
"You look stunning," Jeremy said simply and Sam smiled despite herself. "Thank you," she replied. "You don't look too bad yourself."
"You like the tie?" he asked, waving it before her like a limp Haddock. "Rach suggested I wear it." He leaned forward and lowered his voice conspiratorially. "Said you'd get the in-joke."
Sam smiled weakly, wishing she was anywhere but there. "Yeah, it's very.subtle." She replied, making a mental note to exact very painful revenge on Doctor Rachel Harper just as soon as she could think of something suitable.
Maybe she could give Lord Yu coordinates to Rachel's house and tell him it's Anubis' new base.
No, not cruel enough. She could do better.
How long until McKenzie was back in town?
The waiter arrived and Sam quickly scanned the menu, deciding that if she was going to have to put up with the tie-from-hell for the next few hours, she was damn well going to order the most expensive thing on the menu.
Uh, Squid?
Okay, the second most expensive thing.
A fish starter, three orders of Crispy Duck, two Special Fried Rice, a whole mess of noodles she was never going to manage and a minor heart attack from the man across the table later, and the waiter moved silently away to fetch the bottle of very pricey Pinot-Noir from the cellars (he should never have let her choose the wine.), leaving a smug AF Major-cum- Astrophysicist and a palpitating Particle Physicist to make strained first date conversation.
"Are you sure all you want is the Noodle Soup?" Sam asked innocently as she squirmed uncomfortably, pulling at her hem and trying to straighten her skirt down over her thighs. Sometimes practically living in BDU's wasn't such a bad thing. Jeremy nodded dumbly, leaving her unsure as to whether it was the acute pain in his credit card that had left him mute, or the fact that she had just proven to another man that somewhere under her sexless fatigues, she did indeed have legs. And nice legs too, if she said so herself.
Which she rarely did.
"I'm fine," Jeremy replied rather too loudly and took a long drink of water from his attractively decorated glass. Suddenly Sam felt a little guilty for assuming the worst of her date and smiled gently at him. "I think I've ordered a little too much for one person. We could share if you like."
Jeremy shook his head. "I'm allergic," he replied mournfully.
"To what?"
"Everything you ordered."
Ah.
The waiter returned in record time and offered the opened bottle to Jeremy to taste. Shaking his head he waved his hand towards Sam and the wine was poured into her glass.
"Allergic?" she asked, half kidding.
Jeremy nodded. "To the Tannins."
There really was very little anyone could say to that so instead Sam took a large gulp of the wine and nodded her approval to the waiter who seemed to have a sixth sense and poured her an entire glass full before leaving the bottle on the table. She was definitely going to need it.
The restaurant was becoming more crowded by the minute and for some reason, the close proximity of other patrons seemed to perk Jeremy up a little. "So what did you do today?" he asked loudly enough for those around him to hear.
Sam winced. She'd just arrived back on Earth this morning after five days of solid negotiations with the council of P93-652. "I worked," she replied, trying to communicate with him to change the subject through her tone of voice. "Nothing worth talking about."
Apparently subtlety flew straight over his head.
"Me too!" he replied with the excitement of a child. "Rachel and I spent the morning studying that artefact Dr Jackson brought back from."
"Jeremy." Finally the now dangerous tone in Sam's voice bought him to an abrupt halt, his face registering a look of mild surprise before turning into a sulky frown.
"Oh, come on," he whined pathetically. "Don't you ever get sick of all the secrets? Sometimes I just want to yell what I do for a living from the rooftops!" he moved his chair a little closer to the table, as if that movement alone could reassure her that no one was going to hear them. "I mean, how many people can say they work in area.."
"Jeremy."
".and you being a member of SG."
"Jeremy!"
This time her voice was about as subtle as a sledgehammer and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare at the yelling mad woman.
Completely ignorant of the people around her, Sam downed the rest of her wine then poured herself a fresh glass. Taking a large swallow, she lowered her head and glared at her 'date'. "I realise that for some insane reason you want to talk about what we do for a living," she began as her fingers tightened dangerously around the stem of her glass, "but I swear to God, if you mention one more word about anything to do with our work, I'll have you locked up in a military prison so fast you'll still be wearing that stupid tie." Jeremy winced and glanced down at the offending article. "Now am I making myself clear, or do I have to spell it out for you?"
Once again he was stunned into complete silence and simply nodded mutely. Sam placed the wine glass gently back on the table and rose from her seat. "Now I'm going to the bathroom, and when I get back we are going to change the subject." With that she grabbed her purse and headed for the rest rooms, her eyes trained determinedly on the door before her and avoiding eye contact with anyone who dared to look her way.
Slamming the stall door behind her, she threw the lock into place and sat heavily on the toilet seat. Of all the monumentally stupid ideas she had ever had in her life, this one had to be the worst.
Who the hell was she kidding anyway? The only reason she had agreed to this date in the first place was to prove to herself once and for all that she was over a certain Colonel, and look where it had got her.
She kicked the door. On a date with a man who wanted only to boast about the one thing it was forbidden to discuss.
She kicked it again, a little harder. Dressed up like a Barbie doll in case the Colonel just 'happened' to show up.
She kicked the door for a third time. Sitting in the bathroom of a renowned Cantonese restaurant wishing she was still at the SGC.
With the Colonel.
This time when she booted the door it made a very satisfactory crunching noise and immediately a disembodied voice came out of nowhere. "Is everything all right in there?"
Should have checked the other stalls. Damn, damn, damn.
"Fine," Sam squeaked, then cleared her throat. "The, uh, the door wouldn't lock so I had to kick it a little to get the bolt in place."
"Oh." There was a rustling sound then a toilet flushed and footsteps sounded against the tiled floor. "Well, I hope you get out alright." The main door creaked open, and then the footsteps were gone.
Sam blinked.
Sam blinked again. She never washed her hands.
Eww.
Opening her own door, she stepped out into the main room and glanced at herself in the bathroom mirror. Grimacing, she grabbed a paper towel and blotted at her wine-stained lips before re-applying her gloss.
Suddenly her cell phone began to ring and Sam was so surprised she almost dropped her bag. Then she remembered. Daniel! Rooting through her typically female clutch, she pulled out her phone and looked at the display screen.
Jack? Why would the Colonel be ringing her tonight?
Normally the sight of the Colonels actual name coming up on her cell phone would have her internally giggling like a schoolgirl. It was her own little weakness, after all, to see his name up in lights and to pretend, for at least a moment that she was allowed to call him by name.
But not today.
No. Today she was more concerned about why he was calling her than going weak over four little letters.
Pressing the receive button on her phone, she held it up to her ear.
"Hello?"
She could have sworn she heard someone catch their breath, but despite the two glasses of expensive wine, her rational side decided it was more than likely just a bad connection.
Figuring it must be Daniel calling as promised, she tried again. "Daniel?"
She paused, but still there was no answer. "Why are you calling from the Colonel's place?"
Suddenly there was a distinct sound of someone clearing their throat and instantly Sam knew it wasn't Daniel. Her heart skipped a beat. She'd heard that sound before. In fact, she'd recognise that sound anywhere.
"Colonel?"
Finally there was a full sentence from the other end of the line. "Uh, yeah Carter, it's me."
Sam closed her eyes and smiled at the sound of his husky, if somewhat high- pitched, voice. Still, sexy voice or not, why was he calling? "Is everything okay?"
On the other end of the line the Colonel laughed, then Sam could have sworn she heard a dull thud. "Everything's fine."
She frowned at her reflection in the mirror. "Really? Only I though I heard banging."
"No, I'm fine." There was a pause, then "Daniel said you needed someone to call and he's indisposed at the moment. So he asked me to do it."
Right. So Daniel was either making coffee or in the bathroom. Sam smiled. What is it with men and their obsession with taking hours in the bathroom? What do they do in there?
On second thoughts, she didn't want to know.
"Oh," Sam replied pathetically, then said the first thing that came to mind. "Well, I'm glad."
CRAP.
"Huh?"
How to get out of this one? She had to think fast. Wouldn't want him to think she was hopelessly in love with him, after all. "I mean I'm glad he remembered."
"Oh." Did he sound disappointed? "Well, is everything alright or do you need me to make up some emergency?"
Sam sighed deeply, picturing her date sitting at their table probably hinting to all those who could hear, that he worked at the infamous Area 51. "An emergency would be good right about now," she murmured, wishing more than anything that he was here with her. "But I don't think a call's going to be enough."
"That bad?" Did he sound *happy*?
Sam smiled slightly. If only he knew. "Worse."
Suddenly She had an idea. In fact, she had the best idea she had ever had. Better than how to disconnect Earth from a black hole, better even than how to save an entire planet of aliens using only sound frequencies. This idea was pure genius.
"Carter?"
Sam took a deep breath. "Sir, do you think maybe." She had to sound needy. "I mean, would it be too much bother if."
"Carter." Perfect.
Now in for the kill.
She cleared her throat for dramatic effect. "Couldyoucomegetme?"
More! She decided. He needs more! "I need to get out of here before I commit a felony and I've had too much to be under the limit." She paused. "I'll pay for the gas."
Her plan worked perfectly. He didn't even stall. "Where are you?"
"That Chinese on 23rd. Mr Wang's or Wong's or something." Like she hadn't been here a hundred times before. Their takeout menu was pinned to her refrigerator door. "I'm hiding in the bathroom. Are you sure you don't mind?"
"'Course not. I'll be there in 20 minutes." The Colonel disconnected the call and Sam placed her phone back in her bag.
With a grin that threatened to split her face in half, She reached for her brush and ran it through her short blond hair. First she would scare the hell out of Jeremy with a visit from Cheyenne Mountain's second in command, then she would spend twenty minutes or so alone with said 2IC in his car.
To hell with the fact that the cost of a cab in the morning to pick up her own car would be horrendous.
Colonel Jack O'Neill was coming to break up her date.
With a lot more enthusiasm than before, Sam pulled open the bathroom door and walked back to her table, her hips swaying just that little bit more.
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A/N: Thanks again to Abby for beta reading. I'd like to start your fan club. Also, I wanted to say thanks to all of you who reviewed the last chapter. I've never had so many reviews of a single chapter before! I hope you like this one as much!
Fame and Fortune Cookies
Part Two: Mr Wong's Cantonese Restaurant
From the moment she arrived at the restaurant Sam Carter was already beginning to regret agreeing to her date.
Actually, in all fairness it wasn't from the exact moment of her arrival, just from the minute she caught her first glimpse of Jeremy's tie. What was it about those scientists at Area 51 that made them continuously mistake irony for really bad fashion sense?
A black tie covered in little green men? For God's sake, it wasn't even funny.
Closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, Sam plastered on her most winning smile and made her way over to the table where her date stood waiting like a gentleman, ready to pull out her chair. She knew something was coming, but she just didn't know what. Still, she began to mentally calculate how long it would be before he came out with something like.
"Greetings Earthling!"
And she hadn't even sat down yet. That had to be a record.
Resisting the urge to make a bolt for the door before he began quoting from the X Files, Sam avoided eye contact with the now staring patrons and slid self-consciously into her chair. After about a minute wherein it seemed Jeremy was waiting for a round of applause from the astounded onlookers, he took his seat somewhat dejectedly and regarded her for a moment.
"You look stunning," Jeremy said simply and Sam smiled despite herself. "Thank you," she replied. "You don't look too bad yourself."
"You like the tie?" he asked, waving it before her like a limp Haddock. "Rach suggested I wear it." He leaned forward and lowered his voice conspiratorially. "Said you'd get the in-joke."
Sam smiled weakly, wishing she was anywhere but there. "Yeah, it's very.subtle." She replied, making a mental note to exact very painful revenge on Doctor Rachel Harper just as soon as she could think of something suitable.
Maybe she could give Lord Yu coordinates to Rachel's house and tell him it's Anubis' new base.
No, not cruel enough. She could do better.
How long until McKenzie was back in town?
The waiter arrived and Sam quickly scanned the menu, deciding that if she was going to have to put up with the tie-from-hell for the next few hours, she was damn well going to order the most expensive thing on the menu.
Uh, Squid?
Okay, the second most expensive thing.
A fish starter, three orders of Crispy Duck, two Special Fried Rice, a whole mess of noodles she was never going to manage and a minor heart attack from the man across the table later, and the waiter moved silently away to fetch the bottle of very pricey Pinot-Noir from the cellars (he should never have let her choose the wine.), leaving a smug AF Major-cum- Astrophysicist and a palpitating Particle Physicist to make strained first date conversation.
"Are you sure all you want is the Noodle Soup?" Sam asked innocently as she squirmed uncomfortably, pulling at her hem and trying to straighten her skirt down over her thighs. Sometimes practically living in BDU's wasn't such a bad thing. Jeremy nodded dumbly, leaving her unsure as to whether it was the acute pain in his credit card that had left him mute, or the fact that she had just proven to another man that somewhere under her sexless fatigues, she did indeed have legs. And nice legs too, if she said so herself.
Which she rarely did.
"I'm fine," Jeremy replied rather too loudly and took a long drink of water from his attractively decorated glass. Suddenly Sam felt a little guilty for assuming the worst of her date and smiled gently at him. "I think I've ordered a little too much for one person. We could share if you like."
Jeremy shook his head. "I'm allergic," he replied mournfully.
"To what?"
"Everything you ordered."
Ah.
The waiter returned in record time and offered the opened bottle to Jeremy to taste. Shaking his head he waved his hand towards Sam and the wine was poured into her glass.
"Allergic?" she asked, half kidding.
Jeremy nodded. "To the Tannins."
There really was very little anyone could say to that so instead Sam took a large gulp of the wine and nodded her approval to the waiter who seemed to have a sixth sense and poured her an entire glass full before leaving the bottle on the table. She was definitely going to need it.
The restaurant was becoming more crowded by the minute and for some reason, the close proximity of other patrons seemed to perk Jeremy up a little. "So what did you do today?" he asked loudly enough for those around him to hear.
Sam winced. She'd just arrived back on Earth this morning after five days of solid negotiations with the council of P93-652. "I worked," she replied, trying to communicate with him to change the subject through her tone of voice. "Nothing worth talking about."
Apparently subtlety flew straight over his head.
"Me too!" he replied with the excitement of a child. "Rachel and I spent the morning studying that artefact Dr Jackson brought back from."
"Jeremy." Finally the now dangerous tone in Sam's voice bought him to an abrupt halt, his face registering a look of mild surprise before turning into a sulky frown.
"Oh, come on," he whined pathetically. "Don't you ever get sick of all the secrets? Sometimes I just want to yell what I do for a living from the rooftops!" he moved his chair a little closer to the table, as if that movement alone could reassure her that no one was going to hear them. "I mean, how many people can say they work in area.."
"Jeremy."
".and you being a member of SG."
"Jeremy!"
This time her voice was about as subtle as a sledgehammer and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare at the yelling mad woman.
Completely ignorant of the people around her, Sam downed the rest of her wine then poured herself a fresh glass. Taking a large swallow, she lowered her head and glared at her 'date'. "I realise that for some insane reason you want to talk about what we do for a living," she began as her fingers tightened dangerously around the stem of her glass, "but I swear to God, if you mention one more word about anything to do with our work, I'll have you locked up in a military prison so fast you'll still be wearing that stupid tie." Jeremy winced and glanced down at the offending article. "Now am I making myself clear, or do I have to spell it out for you?"
Once again he was stunned into complete silence and simply nodded mutely. Sam placed the wine glass gently back on the table and rose from her seat. "Now I'm going to the bathroom, and when I get back we are going to change the subject." With that she grabbed her purse and headed for the rest rooms, her eyes trained determinedly on the door before her and avoiding eye contact with anyone who dared to look her way.
Slamming the stall door behind her, she threw the lock into place and sat heavily on the toilet seat. Of all the monumentally stupid ideas she had ever had in her life, this one had to be the worst.
Who the hell was she kidding anyway? The only reason she had agreed to this date in the first place was to prove to herself once and for all that she was over a certain Colonel, and look where it had got her.
She kicked the door. On a date with a man who wanted only to boast about the one thing it was forbidden to discuss.
She kicked it again, a little harder. Dressed up like a Barbie doll in case the Colonel just 'happened' to show up.
She kicked the door for a third time. Sitting in the bathroom of a renowned Cantonese restaurant wishing she was still at the SGC.
With the Colonel.
This time when she booted the door it made a very satisfactory crunching noise and immediately a disembodied voice came out of nowhere. "Is everything all right in there?"
Should have checked the other stalls. Damn, damn, damn.
"Fine," Sam squeaked, then cleared her throat. "The, uh, the door wouldn't lock so I had to kick it a little to get the bolt in place."
"Oh." There was a rustling sound then a toilet flushed and footsteps sounded against the tiled floor. "Well, I hope you get out alright." The main door creaked open, and then the footsteps were gone.
Sam blinked.
Sam blinked again. She never washed her hands.
Eww.
Opening her own door, she stepped out into the main room and glanced at herself in the bathroom mirror. Grimacing, she grabbed a paper towel and blotted at her wine-stained lips before re-applying her gloss.
Suddenly her cell phone began to ring and Sam was so surprised she almost dropped her bag. Then she remembered. Daniel! Rooting through her typically female clutch, she pulled out her phone and looked at the display screen.
Jack? Why would the Colonel be ringing her tonight?
Normally the sight of the Colonels actual name coming up on her cell phone would have her internally giggling like a schoolgirl. It was her own little weakness, after all, to see his name up in lights and to pretend, for at least a moment that she was allowed to call him by name.
But not today.
No. Today she was more concerned about why he was calling her than going weak over four little letters.
Pressing the receive button on her phone, she held it up to her ear.
"Hello?"
She could have sworn she heard someone catch their breath, but despite the two glasses of expensive wine, her rational side decided it was more than likely just a bad connection.
Figuring it must be Daniel calling as promised, she tried again. "Daniel?"
She paused, but still there was no answer. "Why are you calling from the Colonel's place?"
Suddenly there was a distinct sound of someone clearing their throat and instantly Sam knew it wasn't Daniel. Her heart skipped a beat. She'd heard that sound before. In fact, she'd recognise that sound anywhere.
"Colonel?"
Finally there was a full sentence from the other end of the line. "Uh, yeah Carter, it's me."
Sam closed her eyes and smiled at the sound of his husky, if somewhat high- pitched, voice. Still, sexy voice or not, why was he calling? "Is everything okay?"
On the other end of the line the Colonel laughed, then Sam could have sworn she heard a dull thud. "Everything's fine."
She frowned at her reflection in the mirror. "Really? Only I though I heard banging."
"No, I'm fine." There was a pause, then "Daniel said you needed someone to call and he's indisposed at the moment. So he asked me to do it."
Right. So Daniel was either making coffee or in the bathroom. Sam smiled. What is it with men and their obsession with taking hours in the bathroom? What do they do in there?
On second thoughts, she didn't want to know.
"Oh," Sam replied pathetically, then said the first thing that came to mind. "Well, I'm glad."
CRAP.
"Huh?"
How to get out of this one? She had to think fast. Wouldn't want him to think she was hopelessly in love with him, after all. "I mean I'm glad he remembered."
"Oh." Did he sound disappointed? "Well, is everything alright or do you need me to make up some emergency?"
Sam sighed deeply, picturing her date sitting at their table probably hinting to all those who could hear, that he worked at the infamous Area 51. "An emergency would be good right about now," she murmured, wishing more than anything that he was here with her. "But I don't think a call's going to be enough."
"That bad?" Did he sound *happy*?
Sam smiled slightly. If only he knew. "Worse."
Suddenly She had an idea. In fact, she had the best idea she had ever had. Better than how to disconnect Earth from a black hole, better even than how to save an entire planet of aliens using only sound frequencies. This idea was pure genius.
"Carter?"
Sam took a deep breath. "Sir, do you think maybe." She had to sound needy. "I mean, would it be too much bother if."
"Carter." Perfect.
Now in for the kill.
She cleared her throat for dramatic effect. "Couldyoucomegetme?"
More! She decided. He needs more! "I need to get out of here before I commit a felony and I've had too much to be under the limit." She paused. "I'll pay for the gas."
Her plan worked perfectly. He didn't even stall. "Where are you?"
"That Chinese on 23rd. Mr Wang's or Wong's or something." Like she hadn't been here a hundred times before. Their takeout menu was pinned to her refrigerator door. "I'm hiding in the bathroom. Are you sure you don't mind?"
"'Course not. I'll be there in 20 minutes." The Colonel disconnected the call and Sam placed her phone back in her bag.
With a grin that threatened to split her face in half, She reached for her brush and ran it through her short blond hair. First she would scare the hell out of Jeremy with a visit from Cheyenne Mountain's second in command, then she would spend twenty minutes or so alone with said 2IC in his car.
To hell with the fact that the cost of a cab in the morning to pick up her own car would be horrendous.
Colonel Jack O'Neill was coming to break up her date.
With a lot more enthusiasm than before, Sam pulled open the bathroom door and walked back to her table, her hips swaying just that little bit more.
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