Disclaimer: This is the final disclaimer. It applies to the entire story. I'm sick of writing them. I don't own Harry Potter and all that jazz.
Author's Note: First order of business: everyone who likes a fantastic story with much angst should read Enahma's two fics that you can find in my favorites list. She's just finishing up her sequel and I'm so excited!! Everyone should read!!
Now about this story: Here's the chapter you've all been waiting for... maybe!! Also, for the first time ever, because of the wonderfully thoughtful and enthusiastic reviews, I'm including review responses at the end of the chapter, just because you guys make me oh so very happy!! You can also email me at any time with questions or comments if you don't want them showing up on the site, or if you want me to respond to you before I post. Thanks again to my wonderful reviewers!! If you don't want to read the responses at the end of the chapter, when you hit the row of stars, just scroll right on down to the review button! On with the story!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Harry walked into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, explaining to Lupin that he had been kept after in Snape's class. The professor nodded in understanding. The Gryffindors must have been discussing the events in Potions.
They were all beaming at him, especially Neville.
"As I was saying," Professor Lupin said cheerfully, "today we will practice deflecting and dodging curses. If you can do this, then try to disable your partner. These skills are used by Aurors all the time and are necessary if that's what you plan to do for your career. They're useful even if you're not planning on being in Magical Law Inforcement, especially in light of recent times. So, everyone pair off. We'll take the winners of each pair and pair them up. The winners will continue dueling until one is left who will then duel with me. So go ahead and grab a partner!"
Everyone was pretty excited about this exercise, especially with the absence of the competitive rivalries that had existed in the dueling club in their second year. Neville grabbed Harry for a partner while Ron and Hermione paired off together. He thanked Harry profusely for earning him some points with Snape. Harry secretly doubted that it had made that much of a difference in their potion master's attitude towards the clumsy boy, but decided not to bring down Neville's high spirits.
Once things got settled and Lupin gave the signal, everyone bowed.
"All right, begin!"
Harry let Neville have the first shot. Neville threw the leg-locker curse. Harry easily deflected it and simply sent it back at Neville, almost like a mirror. Harry didn't even know he could do that! Neville lost his balance and Harry quickly disarmed him. He sat laughing on the floor while Harry undid the curse and helped him to his feet.
"Well that was quite embarrassing," he said with a smile. He had been the first one in the class to lose.
They watched everyone else finish dueling. Hermione and Ron went on the longest, but finally ended when they both shouted "Petrificus Totalus" at the same time, not blocking the other fast enough. It ended with them both lying on the floor unable to move. Professor Lupin quickly undid them claiming it was a draw and that neither would go on. It seemed for a second that they were both going to be put in bad moods because of it, but luckily, they both laughed it off. Harry was thankful for the way it ended since it didn't include in any hurt feelings.
Harry next dueled with Seamus, who he stunned and disarmed just as quickly as Neville, even with letting Seamus have the first shot. He went through Lavender and a couple of Hufflepuffs just as quickly and easily. He was surprised to see he was the only one left.
"Well, Mr. Potter, I must say, you have dueled very well. I'm surprised at the speed you were able to win each time. Well now you're against me. I'm going to use some more advanced spells and curses so it's going to be much more difficult. Just want to work on blocking as many as you can, all right? Miss Granger, may you give the signal?"
They both bowed and took their stances.
"All right," Hermione said excitedly. "Begin!"
Immediately Professor Lupin began shooting curses that Harry was unfamiliar with. It was strange though, it was almost as if the curses were moving in slow motion. It was like he could sense what Professor Lupin was going to do.
Harry easily dodged, blocked, or deflected each one of them easily. He could sense his professor's surprise, but Harry continued to resist the curses. Lupin became more determined and shot the curses faster, but it didn't affect Harry's ability to block them.
Finally, Harry sensed Lupin pause to prepare for the next curse. Harry quickly shouted "Expelliarmus!" Lupin's wand shot from his hand and landed in Harry's. The whole class, including the professor, stood there in shock. Harry began to feel a bit uncomfortable. He had never been that good at dueling. It had felt almost like his powers had increased during the duel, allowing him to fight easily.
"Harry," Professor Lupin said, still staring in disbelief. "That was amazing. How were you able to block all of those?"
"I'm not sure, I just did," he said sheepishly, hoping his face wasn't turning red. "Er...here's your wand back, sir." He handed back Lupin's wand.
"Well class, let's have a hand for our dueling champion." The class broke into applause, many people beginning to get over their shock. "Ten, no fifteen points to Gryffindor. Keep up the good work Harry."
The class was dismissed and Harry walked out with Ron and Hermione.
"Merlin, Harry, that was spectacular! I mean you beat a professor!" Hermione began ranting animatedly.
"Yeah, mate, you're on a roll today. First you're a genius in Potions, and now the first one they'll recruit as an Auror! It's almost like your magic has increased for the day," Ron raved.
It hit Harry. Of course, it made sense. He knew that cancer would affect his powers; he had just assumed it would be in a negative way. He was filled with mixed emotions: happy that the cancer hadn't stripped him of his magical ability, yet also dejected now that that the illness was obviously beginning to physically affect him.
At dinner, the 5th year Gryffindors were telling the whole table about Harry's dueling in Defense along with giving Neville credit for his knowledge in Potions.
"Guys, it wasn't a big deal," Harry insisted. "You're making it seem like I'm all powerful or something. I just had a good day in Defense, that's all." He reached for the salt but didn't have to reach very far. The salt shaker flew off the table and into his hand.
Harry's mouth dropped open. He looked around. Nobody had noticed except for Hermione and Ron who had equal looks of wonder on their faces.
"Harry," Hermione whispered, "try that again." She took the salt shaker and placed it next to her. Harry made sure nobody was watching and stuck out his hand. Nothing happened.
"Think about making it come to you," she whispered.
He followed her instructions. It didn't even take a lot of mental concentration for the salt shaker to slide across the table into his hand.
"Bloody hell," Ron whispered in shock.
"You can do wandless magic!" Hermione said quietly.
"Huh? No I can't," Harry said in disbelief.
"You just did, mate. You obviously can," Ron said grinning.
"Try doing something else," Hermione whispered eagerly.
Harry looked at Hermione's plate and imagined it spinning. Their grins all grew as Hermione's plate started spinning in place.
"Bloody hell," Ron whispered again, his gaze entranced by Hermione's plate.
Suddenly, his plate started spinning to.
"Two at once," Harry said quietly with a grin.
"Harry?" a voice to Harry's side asked. Harry looked up immediately as if he had been caught doing something wrong. It was Neville. "Will you tutor me in Potions please?"
After much begging, Harry agreed to tutor Neville in potions along with Eloise Midgeon who had come over from Hufflepuff to ask him. Apparently, they had heard the daily gossip as well. She seemed quite shy but she explained that she was desperate for help in Potions. Though the thought of doing more Potions work than necessary was unsettling, Harry couldn't say no.
Harry finished his meal quickly. Hermione and Ron followed him from the Great Hall, being done with their own meals.
"Harry, I can't believe you can do wandless magic!" Ron said happily as they walked along the empty corridors.
"Neither can I," Harry said, but even as he said it, he realized that the cause of his new powers was slowly killing him.
"You'll have to practice and then, you'll be an unbeatable dueler!" Hermione said excitedly.
"Hey, mate, do you think you could train me up a bit in dueling. I want to increase my chances of becoming an Auror in case that's what I end up wanting to do after Hogwarts. If I could duel like you then I'd be a shoe-in!" Ron asked eagerly.
"So you've decided to become an Auror for a living, Ron?" Hermione asked, genuinely interested.
"Well, maybe," he said sheepishly, "I don't want to end up like Percy, and the Aurors aren't really controlled all that much by Fudge, which is good since he's a total imbecile. I mean, I probably won't be able to or anything, it was just a thought."
"Well I think it's a great idea. You'll definitely be able to do that if you really want," she said with a grin. Harry noticed that she refrained from mentioning schoolwork with much difficulty. Harry was proud.
Ron looked at Hermione smiling. A blush was growing on both of their cheeks.
Finally Ron broke the tension.
"Er, thanks, 'Mione. What about you? What do you want to do after Hogwarts?"
"Well, an Auror might be a fun job, but I've never been all that good at dueling, so who knows. Maybe I could become a professor here at some point."
"Yeah! You'd be a great teacher. If there's no openings, you could take over Professor Trelawney's job! I know you're not into Divination, but anyone could teach it better than that old bat and she really needs to be fired." Hermione didn't even bother to scold Ron about bad-mouthing a teacher. By this point, the trio was entering the common room, which was surprisingly empty. Harry guessed everyone was still at dinner.
"So Harry, what about you? You'd make a great Auror!" Ron said.
"I'm not going to be an Auror," Harry murmured. He knew he would never get the chance to be an Auror. He looked around the empty common room and knew that it was time to tell them.
"Oooh you could teach Defense!" Hermione said enthusiastically. You'd be great at that.
"I'm not going to be a teacher."
"Well then, Harry, what ARE you going to do after graduating from Hogwarts?" Ron asked.
"I'm not going to be graduating from Hogwarts."
Ron and Hermione both stopped and looked at each other.
"What are you talking about Harry? It's not like Snape can fail you when you're doing so well in the class now," Hermione asked confused.
Harry looked seriously at his friends. This was going to be difficult.
"I think you guys should sit down. I have something really important that I need to tell you."
Hermione and Ron both looked extremely worried now, but followed Harry's advice and sat down on the couch. Harry at first remained standing, but a dizzy spell forced him to sit down. It seemed that stress brought his symptoms out more. He tried to start several times, but he just didn't know how to put it.
"Harry, you're not leaving Hogwarts, are you?"
"In a way, just let me tell you guys this. I don't know how to even begin. I guess the beginning. You remember I told you about the Stensons? Well, toward the end of the summer Mr. Stenson was diagnosed with cancer."
"What's cancer?" Ron interrupted.
"It's a Muggle disease. Many types are fatal," Hermione answered quickly, motioning for Harry to continue.
I thought there would be a wizarding cure, but as it turns out wizards don't get cancer and most don't even know what it is, as you can see." He motioned to Ron.
"Is that why you were doing all that medical research?" Hermione asked. Harry nodded. "Harry, I'm so sorry, but I'm still confused. I don't see why this would prevent you from graduating."
"Well you have to let me finish. I did find something. It was a spell to transfer the cancer from one person to another. It can only be performed once on each case of it." He paused. "It was the hardest decision of my life, but I just couldn't watch him die."
Hermione and Ron stared at him.
"Wait, what are you saying Harry?" Ron demanded.
"I-I performed the spell over Christmas break," he said weakly, his face begging his friends to understand. There was a pregnant pause. Harry looked down at the floor, but he felt the stare from two pairs of eyes burning into his face.
"Wait, so are you saying you're DYING?" Hermione asked in utter disbelief. Harry nodded feebly.
"Wait, no. NO. Harry, no! You can't!" Ron started yelling. Harry didn't know what to say.
Hermione studied Harry's face. She knew her friend well enough to know he was speaking the truth. She burst into tears and began shaking her head.
"You chose to do this?" Ron asked. His face showed mixed emotions, like Ron didn't know how to feel. He looked angry, shocked, upset, and worried all at the same time.
"I had to Ron."
"You HAD to? How long have you known these people, a few months? You chose to give up your life for some people you hardly know? Did you ever think about your friends?"
"Listen Ron, you don't understand. You would have done the same for anyone in your family, as would I. I never had a proper family, Ron. I only felt I had one with yours or the Stensons, and I would have done the same if it was your dad."
"How long?" he asked after a long pause, not looking at his friend. Harry didn't have to ask what he was talking about.
"I'm not entirely sure, but I think.... about four or five months."
Ron sat down, not saying anything, just staring into space. The common room was silent except for Hermione's sobs.
"Listen, you guys, please don't be mad at me. I- I don't think I could handle it with everything else," Harry pleaded.
Hermione looked up at him through her tears and walked over to the couch he was on. She sat down next to him and threw her arms around his neck.
"I'm not mad at you, Harry. It's just not fair. I can't believe this is happening," she sobbed into his shoulder. Ron looked up at Harry. Harry was slightly shocked to see the anger on Ron's face. He suddenly jumped up and knocked a pile of books off the table, making Hermione jump.
"Harry, it's at times like these when I just hate you," he screamed. "Did you even think of Hermione and me?"
Harry didn't know what to say. Of course he had thought how his friends would react, but he also had realized that his friends could get over him. They didn't need him; they had each other after all. But Mr. Stenson had a family who could never be able to truly get over his death. Harry's family consisted of people who wanted to kill him and would celebrate his death rather than mourn it. Mr. Stenson's life was surely far more valuable than Harry's; he just didn't know how to explain this to Ron.
Ron seemed to calm down slightly after the long silence. He sank into a chair and put his head in his hands. Finally he looked up at Harry, obviously attempting to remain calm.
"It's just, you always do this! Putting others first without thinking of yourself. You're always just jumping into these situations where you could be killed, or in this case, will definitely be killed. Don't you think? Don't you think about how it affects other people?" He paused and took a deep breath. "Never mind, I guess it's too late for a lecture now. I don't want to be in a fight with you like last year. I'm here for you one-hundred percent, okay?" Ron stopped to compose himself, drawing in a few shaky breaths. "For anything, okay?"
Harry nodded. Hermione broke away from him and wiped away some of her tears. She looked at him right in the eye.
"Ron's right. We're here for you Harry. Best friends through thick and thin."
"Wow, you guys agreeing on something? I must be delusional," said Harry with a weak smile. Hermione looked at him for a second and then burst out laughing and crying, both at the same time. The absurdity of the situation caused Ron and Harry to begin laughing as well, though both were fighting back the prickling of tears themselves.
"You guys are the best friends I could ever have," Harry said after they had calmed down. They both smiled tiredly at him, still unsure about how to react, how to feel.
The rest of the Gryffindors came in, but seeing their three classmates sitting together looking so serious, with red eyes and lost expressions, they all silently agreed to surrender the common room to them for the night and quietly crept up to their respective dorms.
Harry got Ron and Hermione to agree to keep silent about the whole thing under the condition that Harry would report to them when he needed help, and as soon as it got worse, they were going to take him straight to Madam Pomfrey, tell Dumbledore, and write home to Ron's parents along with telling the twins and Ginny. He figured that this was the best he'd get out of his friends.
They eventually made it back to their dorm rooms after everyone else was asleep. Harry couldn't sleep that night. He felt like his whole life was ensuring that his secrets weren't revealed and he was dragging others into it. Snape was the only one who knew about the abuse, and now Ron and Hermione were the only ones who knew about his cancer. Even those who were under the impression that Harry was entrusting them with his secrets were being kept from knowing something about him.
It was so much work keeping his life concealed from those around him. He was trying to keep them all shut inside and they were slipping out like water trickling out of a dam. He just hoped the dam wouldn't burst under the pressure.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A/N: Well voila! An extra long chapter to balance out my last shorter one. Hope you liked it. I had so much fun writing the wandless magic part. This is all the beginning though. Muahahaha. (Just ate a lot of sugar in case you couldn't tell.) Please Review!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Firemask: Well, if you want to know how Harry's going to tell Ron and Hermione, look up. LOL. Yeah, Snape's kind of got himself into quite a spot huh? Well, we'll have to see what happens with him. The one thing I'm not sure of about this fic, and I've been debating this for sooo long, is whether Harry should tell the Stensons. I wrote this huge list of pros and cons of a scene like that and I'd probably lean toward the no side, unless everyone really wanted it. I'll probably pose this question a little later on at a certain point and everyone can vote. Thanks for the faithful reviews!!
Eowyn of Ithilien: You are definitely one of my favorite reviewers!! I'm glad random little bits of my chapters makes you laugh and just so you know, I think strange people rock. Especially strange people who review my story. Thank you for the comment about my characterization of Snape!! It means so much!! As for the dying thing, hmm...I guess we'll just have to wait and see!! Muahahaha!!
Temporary Insanity: Your review rocked. I'm glad to see you've taken such an interest in my fic. Honestly, your review was the reason for this response session. There will definitely be a lot Snape interaction, though it won't dominate the fic. As for the rest, I just want to say, you'll have to see!!! *grins like a maniac and laughs since I know what's going to happen*
Maximum Poofy-Queen of AU: I love your reviews! As I've told everyone else about the issue of "Will Harry Die?" we'll just have to wait and see what's going to happen!! Well, I guess I don't really have to wait since I've already written it, but with the "we'll" have to see, there's a bit of camaraderie, don't you think? LOL.
Jackie: Thanks for all the reviews! Well, I'm sorry he told Ron and Hermione about the cancer first. I agree that sometimes I really don't like either of them in some fics like in
Enahma's Coming off the Ropes. You might really like that since Ron is a royal jack@$$. But as much as I can hate them, I can love them just as much. In this fic, there's a lot that focuses on Ron and Harry's friendship. I hope you'll like it despite that!!
LizhowHP: Thanks for the review!! I'm glad you think it's original!! Keep reading and reviewing!!
Eliza3beth: Well thank you! I updated just like you asked for and as for the rest...we'll have to see...
Ckat44: Soon enough I hope? Thanks for the desperation; it's oddly satisfying! LOL!
Srialb: Oooh how exciting, I almost made someone pee!! LOL. I'm so glad you found it again!! It's great to know you're enjoying it!!
Lizzy Halliwell: LOL I'm glad you are shouting MORE rather than LESS!! Hope you like the chapter.
Fanfictionfanatic: Your review made me laugh. boing? Really? Thanks, I never knew my fic could evoke such a feeling. Or sound. Or whatever it is. LOL
Well folks, that about wraps it up. I hope I covered everyone from last chapter or last few days. Please keep up your wonderful reviews!! I love them so much I think I may print them out and cuddle them.
Author's Note: First order of business: everyone who likes a fantastic story with much angst should read Enahma's two fics that you can find in my favorites list. She's just finishing up her sequel and I'm so excited!! Everyone should read!!
Now about this story: Here's the chapter you've all been waiting for... maybe!! Also, for the first time ever, because of the wonderfully thoughtful and enthusiastic reviews, I'm including review responses at the end of the chapter, just because you guys make me oh so very happy!! You can also email me at any time with questions or comments if you don't want them showing up on the site, or if you want me to respond to you before I post. Thanks again to my wonderful reviewers!! If you don't want to read the responses at the end of the chapter, when you hit the row of stars, just scroll right on down to the review button! On with the story!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Harry walked into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, explaining to Lupin that he had been kept after in Snape's class. The professor nodded in understanding. The Gryffindors must have been discussing the events in Potions.
They were all beaming at him, especially Neville.
"As I was saying," Professor Lupin said cheerfully, "today we will practice deflecting and dodging curses. If you can do this, then try to disable your partner. These skills are used by Aurors all the time and are necessary if that's what you plan to do for your career. They're useful even if you're not planning on being in Magical Law Inforcement, especially in light of recent times. So, everyone pair off. We'll take the winners of each pair and pair them up. The winners will continue dueling until one is left who will then duel with me. So go ahead and grab a partner!"
Everyone was pretty excited about this exercise, especially with the absence of the competitive rivalries that had existed in the dueling club in their second year. Neville grabbed Harry for a partner while Ron and Hermione paired off together. He thanked Harry profusely for earning him some points with Snape. Harry secretly doubted that it had made that much of a difference in their potion master's attitude towards the clumsy boy, but decided not to bring down Neville's high spirits.
Once things got settled and Lupin gave the signal, everyone bowed.
"All right, begin!"
Harry let Neville have the first shot. Neville threw the leg-locker curse. Harry easily deflected it and simply sent it back at Neville, almost like a mirror. Harry didn't even know he could do that! Neville lost his balance and Harry quickly disarmed him. He sat laughing on the floor while Harry undid the curse and helped him to his feet.
"Well that was quite embarrassing," he said with a smile. He had been the first one in the class to lose.
They watched everyone else finish dueling. Hermione and Ron went on the longest, but finally ended when they both shouted "Petrificus Totalus" at the same time, not blocking the other fast enough. It ended with them both lying on the floor unable to move. Professor Lupin quickly undid them claiming it was a draw and that neither would go on. It seemed for a second that they were both going to be put in bad moods because of it, but luckily, they both laughed it off. Harry was thankful for the way it ended since it didn't include in any hurt feelings.
Harry next dueled with Seamus, who he stunned and disarmed just as quickly as Neville, even with letting Seamus have the first shot. He went through Lavender and a couple of Hufflepuffs just as quickly and easily. He was surprised to see he was the only one left.
"Well, Mr. Potter, I must say, you have dueled very well. I'm surprised at the speed you were able to win each time. Well now you're against me. I'm going to use some more advanced spells and curses so it's going to be much more difficult. Just want to work on blocking as many as you can, all right? Miss Granger, may you give the signal?"
They both bowed and took their stances.
"All right," Hermione said excitedly. "Begin!"
Immediately Professor Lupin began shooting curses that Harry was unfamiliar with. It was strange though, it was almost as if the curses were moving in slow motion. It was like he could sense what Professor Lupin was going to do.
Harry easily dodged, blocked, or deflected each one of them easily. He could sense his professor's surprise, but Harry continued to resist the curses. Lupin became more determined and shot the curses faster, but it didn't affect Harry's ability to block them.
Finally, Harry sensed Lupin pause to prepare for the next curse. Harry quickly shouted "Expelliarmus!" Lupin's wand shot from his hand and landed in Harry's. The whole class, including the professor, stood there in shock. Harry began to feel a bit uncomfortable. He had never been that good at dueling. It had felt almost like his powers had increased during the duel, allowing him to fight easily.
"Harry," Professor Lupin said, still staring in disbelief. "That was amazing. How were you able to block all of those?"
"I'm not sure, I just did," he said sheepishly, hoping his face wasn't turning red. "Er...here's your wand back, sir." He handed back Lupin's wand.
"Well class, let's have a hand for our dueling champion." The class broke into applause, many people beginning to get over their shock. "Ten, no fifteen points to Gryffindor. Keep up the good work Harry."
The class was dismissed and Harry walked out with Ron and Hermione.
"Merlin, Harry, that was spectacular! I mean you beat a professor!" Hermione began ranting animatedly.
"Yeah, mate, you're on a roll today. First you're a genius in Potions, and now the first one they'll recruit as an Auror! It's almost like your magic has increased for the day," Ron raved.
It hit Harry. Of course, it made sense. He knew that cancer would affect his powers; he had just assumed it would be in a negative way. He was filled with mixed emotions: happy that the cancer hadn't stripped him of his magical ability, yet also dejected now that that the illness was obviously beginning to physically affect him.
At dinner, the 5th year Gryffindors were telling the whole table about Harry's dueling in Defense along with giving Neville credit for his knowledge in Potions.
"Guys, it wasn't a big deal," Harry insisted. "You're making it seem like I'm all powerful or something. I just had a good day in Defense, that's all." He reached for the salt but didn't have to reach very far. The salt shaker flew off the table and into his hand.
Harry's mouth dropped open. He looked around. Nobody had noticed except for Hermione and Ron who had equal looks of wonder on their faces.
"Harry," Hermione whispered, "try that again." She took the salt shaker and placed it next to her. Harry made sure nobody was watching and stuck out his hand. Nothing happened.
"Think about making it come to you," she whispered.
He followed her instructions. It didn't even take a lot of mental concentration for the salt shaker to slide across the table into his hand.
"Bloody hell," Ron whispered in shock.
"You can do wandless magic!" Hermione said quietly.
"Huh? No I can't," Harry said in disbelief.
"You just did, mate. You obviously can," Ron said grinning.
"Try doing something else," Hermione whispered eagerly.
Harry looked at Hermione's plate and imagined it spinning. Their grins all grew as Hermione's plate started spinning in place.
"Bloody hell," Ron whispered again, his gaze entranced by Hermione's plate.
Suddenly, his plate started spinning to.
"Two at once," Harry said quietly with a grin.
"Harry?" a voice to Harry's side asked. Harry looked up immediately as if he had been caught doing something wrong. It was Neville. "Will you tutor me in Potions please?"
After much begging, Harry agreed to tutor Neville in potions along with Eloise Midgeon who had come over from Hufflepuff to ask him. Apparently, they had heard the daily gossip as well. She seemed quite shy but she explained that she was desperate for help in Potions. Though the thought of doing more Potions work than necessary was unsettling, Harry couldn't say no.
Harry finished his meal quickly. Hermione and Ron followed him from the Great Hall, being done with their own meals.
"Harry, I can't believe you can do wandless magic!" Ron said happily as they walked along the empty corridors.
"Neither can I," Harry said, but even as he said it, he realized that the cause of his new powers was slowly killing him.
"You'll have to practice and then, you'll be an unbeatable dueler!" Hermione said excitedly.
"Hey, mate, do you think you could train me up a bit in dueling. I want to increase my chances of becoming an Auror in case that's what I end up wanting to do after Hogwarts. If I could duel like you then I'd be a shoe-in!" Ron asked eagerly.
"So you've decided to become an Auror for a living, Ron?" Hermione asked, genuinely interested.
"Well, maybe," he said sheepishly, "I don't want to end up like Percy, and the Aurors aren't really controlled all that much by Fudge, which is good since he's a total imbecile. I mean, I probably won't be able to or anything, it was just a thought."
"Well I think it's a great idea. You'll definitely be able to do that if you really want," she said with a grin. Harry noticed that she refrained from mentioning schoolwork with much difficulty. Harry was proud.
Ron looked at Hermione smiling. A blush was growing on both of their cheeks.
Finally Ron broke the tension.
"Er, thanks, 'Mione. What about you? What do you want to do after Hogwarts?"
"Well, an Auror might be a fun job, but I've never been all that good at dueling, so who knows. Maybe I could become a professor here at some point."
"Yeah! You'd be a great teacher. If there's no openings, you could take over Professor Trelawney's job! I know you're not into Divination, but anyone could teach it better than that old bat and she really needs to be fired." Hermione didn't even bother to scold Ron about bad-mouthing a teacher. By this point, the trio was entering the common room, which was surprisingly empty. Harry guessed everyone was still at dinner.
"So Harry, what about you? You'd make a great Auror!" Ron said.
"I'm not going to be an Auror," Harry murmured. He knew he would never get the chance to be an Auror. He looked around the empty common room and knew that it was time to tell them.
"Oooh you could teach Defense!" Hermione said enthusiastically. You'd be great at that.
"I'm not going to be a teacher."
"Well then, Harry, what ARE you going to do after graduating from Hogwarts?" Ron asked.
"I'm not going to be graduating from Hogwarts."
Ron and Hermione both stopped and looked at each other.
"What are you talking about Harry? It's not like Snape can fail you when you're doing so well in the class now," Hermione asked confused.
Harry looked seriously at his friends. This was going to be difficult.
"I think you guys should sit down. I have something really important that I need to tell you."
Hermione and Ron both looked extremely worried now, but followed Harry's advice and sat down on the couch. Harry at first remained standing, but a dizzy spell forced him to sit down. It seemed that stress brought his symptoms out more. He tried to start several times, but he just didn't know how to put it.
"Harry, you're not leaving Hogwarts, are you?"
"In a way, just let me tell you guys this. I don't know how to even begin. I guess the beginning. You remember I told you about the Stensons? Well, toward the end of the summer Mr. Stenson was diagnosed with cancer."
"What's cancer?" Ron interrupted.
"It's a Muggle disease. Many types are fatal," Hermione answered quickly, motioning for Harry to continue.
I thought there would be a wizarding cure, but as it turns out wizards don't get cancer and most don't even know what it is, as you can see." He motioned to Ron.
"Is that why you were doing all that medical research?" Hermione asked. Harry nodded. "Harry, I'm so sorry, but I'm still confused. I don't see why this would prevent you from graduating."
"Well you have to let me finish. I did find something. It was a spell to transfer the cancer from one person to another. It can only be performed once on each case of it." He paused. "It was the hardest decision of my life, but I just couldn't watch him die."
Hermione and Ron stared at him.
"Wait, what are you saying Harry?" Ron demanded.
"I-I performed the spell over Christmas break," he said weakly, his face begging his friends to understand. There was a pregnant pause. Harry looked down at the floor, but he felt the stare from two pairs of eyes burning into his face.
"Wait, so are you saying you're DYING?" Hermione asked in utter disbelief. Harry nodded feebly.
"Wait, no. NO. Harry, no! You can't!" Ron started yelling. Harry didn't know what to say.
Hermione studied Harry's face. She knew her friend well enough to know he was speaking the truth. She burst into tears and began shaking her head.
"You chose to do this?" Ron asked. His face showed mixed emotions, like Ron didn't know how to feel. He looked angry, shocked, upset, and worried all at the same time.
"I had to Ron."
"You HAD to? How long have you known these people, a few months? You chose to give up your life for some people you hardly know? Did you ever think about your friends?"
"Listen Ron, you don't understand. You would have done the same for anyone in your family, as would I. I never had a proper family, Ron. I only felt I had one with yours or the Stensons, and I would have done the same if it was your dad."
"How long?" he asked after a long pause, not looking at his friend. Harry didn't have to ask what he was talking about.
"I'm not entirely sure, but I think.... about four or five months."
Ron sat down, not saying anything, just staring into space. The common room was silent except for Hermione's sobs.
"Listen, you guys, please don't be mad at me. I- I don't think I could handle it with everything else," Harry pleaded.
Hermione looked up at him through her tears and walked over to the couch he was on. She sat down next to him and threw her arms around his neck.
"I'm not mad at you, Harry. It's just not fair. I can't believe this is happening," she sobbed into his shoulder. Ron looked up at Harry. Harry was slightly shocked to see the anger on Ron's face. He suddenly jumped up and knocked a pile of books off the table, making Hermione jump.
"Harry, it's at times like these when I just hate you," he screamed. "Did you even think of Hermione and me?"
Harry didn't know what to say. Of course he had thought how his friends would react, but he also had realized that his friends could get over him. They didn't need him; they had each other after all. But Mr. Stenson had a family who could never be able to truly get over his death. Harry's family consisted of people who wanted to kill him and would celebrate his death rather than mourn it. Mr. Stenson's life was surely far more valuable than Harry's; he just didn't know how to explain this to Ron.
Ron seemed to calm down slightly after the long silence. He sank into a chair and put his head in his hands. Finally he looked up at Harry, obviously attempting to remain calm.
"It's just, you always do this! Putting others first without thinking of yourself. You're always just jumping into these situations where you could be killed, or in this case, will definitely be killed. Don't you think? Don't you think about how it affects other people?" He paused and took a deep breath. "Never mind, I guess it's too late for a lecture now. I don't want to be in a fight with you like last year. I'm here for you one-hundred percent, okay?" Ron stopped to compose himself, drawing in a few shaky breaths. "For anything, okay?"
Harry nodded. Hermione broke away from him and wiped away some of her tears. She looked at him right in the eye.
"Ron's right. We're here for you Harry. Best friends through thick and thin."
"Wow, you guys agreeing on something? I must be delusional," said Harry with a weak smile. Hermione looked at him for a second and then burst out laughing and crying, both at the same time. The absurdity of the situation caused Ron and Harry to begin laughing as well, though both were fighting back the prickling of tears themselves.
"You guys are the best friends I could ever have," Harry said after they had calmed down. They both smiled tiredly at him, still unsure about how to react, how to feel.
The rest of the Gryffindors came in, but seeing their three classmates sitting together looking so serious, with red eyes and lost expressions, they all silently agreed to surrender the common room to them for the night and quietly crept up to their respective dorms.
Harry got Ron and Hermione to agree to keep silent about the whole thing under the condition that Harry would report to them when he needed help, and as soon as it got worse, they were going to take him straight to Madam Pomfrey, tell Dumbledore, and write home to Ron's parents along with telling the twins and Ginny. He figured that this was the best he'd get out of his friends.
They eventually made it back to their dorm rooms after everyone else was asleep. Harry couldn't sleep that night. He felt like his whole life was ensuring that his secrets weren't revealed and he was dragging others into it. Snape was the only one who knew about the abuse, and now Ron and Hermione were the only ones who knew about his cancer. Even those who were under the impression that Harry was entrusting them with his secrets were being kept from knowing something about him.
It was so much work keeping his life concealed from those around him. He was trying to keep them all shut inside and they were slipping out like water trickling out of a dam. He just hoped the dam wouldn't burst under the pressure.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A/N: Well voila! An extra long chapter to balance out my last shorter one. Hope you liked it. I had so much fun writing the wandless magic part. This is all the beginning though. Muahahaha. (Just ate a lot of sugar in case you couldn't tell.) Please Review!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Firemask: Well, if you want to know how Harry's going to tell Ron and Hermione, look up. LOL. Yeah, Snape's kind of got himself into quite a spot huh? Well, we'll have to see what happens with him. The one thing I'm not sure of about this fic, and I've been debating this for sooo long, is whether Harry should tell the Stensons. I wrote this huge list of pros and cons of a scene like that and I'd probably lean toward the no side, unless everyone really wanted it. I'll probably pose this question a little later on at a certain point and everyone can vote. Thanks for the faithful reviews!!
Eowyn of Ithilien: You are definitely one of my favorite reviewers!! I'm glad random little bits of my chapters makes you laugh and just so you know, I think strange people rock. Especially strange people who review my story. Thank you for the comment about my characterization of Snape!! It means so much!! As for the dying thing, hmm...I guess we'll just have to wait and see!! Muahahaha!!
Temporary Insanity: Your review rocked. I'm glad to see you've taken such an interest in my fic. Honestly, your review was the reason for this response session. There will definitely be a lot Snape interaction, though it won't dominate the fic. As for the rest, I just want to say, you'll have to see!!! *grins like a maniac and laughs since I know what's going to happen*
Maximum Poofy-Queen of AU: I love your reviews! As I've told everyone else about the issue of "Will Harry Die?" we'll just have to wait and see what's going to happen!! Well, I guess I don't really have to wait since I've already written it, but with the "we'll" have to see, there's a bit of camaraderie, don't you think? LOL.
Jackie: Thanks for all the reviews! Well, I'm sorry he told Ron and Hermione about the cancer first. I agree that sometimes I really don't like either of them in some fics like in
Enahma's Coming off the Ropes. You might really like that since Ron is a royal jack@$$. But as much as I can hate them, I can love them just as much. In this fic, there's a lot that focuses on Ron and Harry's friendship. I hope you'll like it despite that!!
LizhowHP: Thanks for the review!! I'm glad you think it's original!! Keep reading and reviewing!!
Eliza3beth: Well thank you! I updated just like you asked for and as for the rest...we'll have to see...
Ckat44: Soon enough I hope? Thanks for the desperation; it's oddly satisfying! LOL!
Srialb: Oooh how exciting, I almost made someone pee!! LOL. I'm so glad you found it again!! It's great to know you're enjoying it!!
Lizzy Halliwell: LOL I'm glad you are shouting MORE rather than LESS!! Hope you like the chapter.
Fanfictionfanatic: Your review made me laugh. boing? Really? Thanks, I never knew my fic could evoke such a feeling. Or sound. Or whatever it is. LOL
Well folks, that about wraps it up. I hope I covered everyone from last chapter or last few days. Please keep up your wonderful reviews!! I love them so much I think I may print them out and cuddle them.