Disclaimer: Marauders's names aren't ours. References to fanfics that aren't ours are pointed out. Beware of real estate agents. Thank you. Now read the chapter.
There are two things that it is imperative (dramatic indeed . . .) that readers of this fanfic (if they even exist) know for this next chapter:
1) Moony and Padfoot are both obsessed with sporks, and they both have a great talent for working sporks into ANY everyday, semi-normal conversation. It's actually quite disconcerting how they manage to casually mention sporks, then start grinning maniacally.
2) Moony, Padfoot and Prongs have to do a project on caesium (a highly explosive metal) in Science class. Prongs is a pyromaniac. Moony and Padfoot were slightly surprised by this psychological disorder. But only slightly, since they're insane too and they're obsessed with sporks, so it's all good.
Without further delay, I present to you, thy figments of my imagination, the reason why the men in the white coats are still thriving and making money, the contents of the Red Notebook!
Science Class
Prongs- Caesium today. Nobody will mind if I accidentally drop it in water, right? I'll give you warning before I *cough* slip. *Man/eye/ikal laughter*
Padfoot- Caesium vs sporks. What is better? I vote for dis spork!
Moony- Was there ever even a competition? Was caesium even an option?! Prongs: It's man/eye/a/kle! And do the sheet! (A/N We're in Science class and our teacher had given us a worksheet to do. Since Prongs is the genius of the group when it comes to Science, she does most/all of Moony and Padfoot's work as well as her own. Why does she bother? Because of she didn't, Moony and Padfoot would most likely a) fail b) actually spend time working on Science or c) be moved to another desk in the class. And if any of those things happened, Prongs would be left all alone, surrounded by *whispers* sane people! *shudders*)
Prongs- I did do the sheet! And I choose . . . CAESIUM!!! To hell with sporks! *gasps* This . . . pyromania . . . is getting out of control. Must . . . watch . . . caesium!
Padfoot- Whoa, go eat some ice cream! Maybe you're just a freak, ever considered it? (A/N Another Ask Moony reference. Eating ice cream releases endorphins in your brain, a chemical that makes you happier and more content. So, eat ice cream! Lots of it!)
Moony- You all need counselling and I need to use a good Memory Charm (A/N Ask Moony reference again) to rid me of all the memories I have when you are being stupid. Which is all the time for Padfoot!
Prongs- Ice cream releases endorphins in your brain, a chemical that makes you happier and more content. I think Moony needs some. And I DO NOT need counselling. I have bad memories of counsellors. *shudders and whispers* They took away my explosives. They STOLE it from us! Tricksey hobbitses! We'll POKES their eyes out! *More man/eye/a/kle laughter*
Padfoot- Pleat man! Totally pleat! And then I was all like SHALAAAAAATTT! How pleat was that?
Moony- *Hiccup!* *Hiccup!* *Borkity!* *Hiccup!* That's toit! I never know what to write when I have to write something (A/N Moony insists that this is from a fanfic but refuses to tell Padfoot and Prongs which one.)
Prongs- We sure make an interesting group.
Padfoot- We are past intresting! We are abstract, little talking, walking atoms absorbed by the sun in the sky, that is a friend of the night and coconut spirits! (An ode to Kathryn). (A/N Kathryn is a friend of ours who moved last year and was just as, if not more, insane than we three are. We miss you Kathryn!) What a mind trip.
Moony- How do you spell "family" in French?
Prongs- Moony: "Famille". Padfoot: Come back down from whatever philosophical height you are trying to inhabit.
Padfoot- Me! At a philosophical height! This must be some sort of break-through in mathematics or science or whatever "philosophical" comes from. I'm gonna be rich!
Moony- Sorry Padfoot but not many philosophers became millionaires. In fact, Plato didn't recieve a cent.
Prongs- And Socrates recieved a funeral from the governors of the city where he lived.
Padfoot- "Eureka" could be my saying!
Moony- I'm pretty sure it's copy-righted.
Prongs- How did we get from sporks to Eureka? Never mind, don't answer that.
Spanish Class
Padfoot- Oh, but I will answer that with my philosophical genius . . . we had changed the subject numerous amounts of time (ex: "Hello!" "Go get conselling and ice cream!") BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Genius, I tell you!
Prongs- We have agreed that I am the genius. you? A philosopher? In that case, we must kill you. You are not a philosopher. Get used to it. Must . . watch . . . caesium! Pyromania and kleptomania means . . . I am Irish in blood and mind! And my affinity for rabid beavers and Monty Python means I'm a little Canadian.
Padfoot- . . . . .okay . . . . .what's your point?
Prongs- I have proof my "unique" personality is a result of a mish-mash of cultures, countries, nationalities and foods.
Padfoot- Mmmmmmmm! Food. Man, those chocolate covered peanuts with artificial coulouring are delicious! They are the official food of the Marauders! (A/N If anyone is actually reading this and is confused, Padfoot means MM Peanuts)
Prongs- I know. I was there. I declared them the official food.
Padfoot- Really. I never knew. How could I have missed THAT.
Prongs- And the Queen of Unsubtle is . . . I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count. If you have the gift of sarcasm (like me), you have to be subtle or the brains of those around you will be turned to mush. Not mine, though.
Padfoot- Well, last time you couldn't read my frickin' sarasm!
Prongs- Are you sure? Maybe I was just driving up your blood pressure. It's a perk of supplying you with answers to school work.
Padfoot- Well, that's cruel, man. That was harsh!
Prongs- You deserved it.
Health Class
(A/N Padfoot is is a different Health class than Moony and Prongs. So it's just them two writing in the notebook)
Prongs- Moony has just publically admitted in front of witnesses (i.e. the rest of our Health class excepting the teacher who is both BLIND and DEAF!) that she has fluid instead of a brain.
Moony- I did? I don't remember that! (Although it probably happened about 5 minutes ago . . . .)
Prongs- Goldfish's five second memory. Oh, a stick. Beep. Oh, a stick. Beep. Oh, a stick. Beep. Oh, a stick.
Moony- That was hilarious! Beep. That was hilarious! Beep. That was hilarious! Beep.
Prongs- Thank you. I am willing to overlook you cranial shortcomings because of the compliment.
Moony- Was that a compliment? I didn't notice. (No, that was not being sarcastic!)
Prongs- Notice the phrase above "That was hilarious". Anyway. Change of subject. BRING GLUE TO SCHOOL TOMORROW! We will perform random acts of mind-boggling annoyance, in accordance with the prophecy. First, we'll do the coin/glue joke, in accordance with the prophecy.
Moony- Gotcha! I don't know what to say . . .
Prongs- Me neither.
Moony- I've done all this stuff the teacher's talking about (first aid).
Prongs- Irish people don't belive in organized health care. If it hurts, scream and try to convince people you're not faking.
And there we will stop while the authors run off to get some ice cream. We strongly suggest that any readers go do the same.
We are extremely proud of ourselves, as we have managed to get two chapters online in two days. That works out as . . . . . a chapter a day! Wait, does it? Anyway. Do not expect more of the same, because Prongs's keyboard is throwing a temper again and the caps lock button is stuck. So she has to hold her finger down on the shift button. But you don't need to know that. So, go feed your goldfish. What? You don't have a golfdish? Damn, that's goldfish. Odd how switching two letters can totally change the meaning of a word. OK, I've just been informed by the voice in my head that I'm rambling. Tot ziens. Au revoir. Adios. Goodbye. YES, I'm going now.
There are two things that it is imperative (dramatic indeed . . .) that readers of this fanfic (if they even exist) know for this next chapter:
1) Moony and Padfoot are both obsessed with sporks, and they both have a great talent for working sporks into ANY everyday, semi-normal conversation. It's actually quite disconcerting how they manage to casually mention sporks, then start grinning maniacally.
2) Moony, Padfoot and Prongs have to do a project on caesium (a highly explosive metal) in Science class. Prongs is a pyromaniac. Moony and Padfoot were slightly surprised by this psychological disorder. But only slightly, since they're insane too and they're obsessed with sporks, so it's all good.
Without further delay, I present to you, thy figments of my imagination, the reason why the men in the white coats are still thriving and making money, the contents of the Red Notebook!
Science Class
Prongs- Caesium today. Nobody will mind if I accidentally drop it in water, right? I'll give you warning before I *cough* slip. *Man/eye/ikal laughter*
Padfoot- Caesium vs sporks. What is better? I vote for dis spork!
Moony- Was there ever even a competition? Was caesium even an option?! Prongs: It's man/eye/a/kle! And do the sheet! (A/N We're in Science class and our teacher had given us a worksheet to do. Since Prongs is the genius of the group when it comes to Science, she does most/all of Moony and Padfoot's work as well as her own. Why does she bother? Because of she didn't, Moony and Padfoot would most likely a) fail b) actually spend time working on Science or c) be moved to another desk in the class. And if any of those things happened, Prongs would be left all alone, surrounded by *whispers* sane people! *shudders*)
Prongs- I did do the sheet! And I choose . . . CAESIUM!!! To hell with sporks! *gasps* This . . . pyromania . . . is getting out of control. Must . . . watch . . . caesium!
Padfoot- Whoa, go eat some ice cream! Maybe you're just a freak, ever considered it? (A/N Another Ask Moony reference. Eating ice cream releases endorphins in your brain, a chemical that makes you happier and more content. So, eat ice cream! Lots of it!)
Moony- You all need counselling and I need to use a good Memory Charm (A/N Ask Moony reference again) to rid me of all the memories I have when you are being stupid. Which is all the time for Padfoot!
Prongs- Ice cream releases endorphins in your brain, a chemical that makes you happier and more content. I think Moony needs some. And I DO NOT need counselling. I have bad memories of counsellors. *shudders and whispers* They took away my explosives. They STOLE it from us! Tricksey hobbitses! We'll POKES their eyes out! *More man/eye/a/kle laughter*
Padfoot- Pleat man! Totally pleat! And then I was all like SHALAAAAAATTT! How pleat was that?
Moony- *Hiccup!* *Hiccup!* *Borkity!* *Hiccup!* That's toit! I never know what to write when I have to write something (A/N Moony insists that this is from a fanfic but refuses to tell Padfoot and Prongs which one.)
Prongs- We sure make an interesting group.
Padfoot- We are past intresting! We are abstract, little talking, walking atoms absorbed by the sun in the sky, that is a friend of the night and coconut spirits! (An ode to Kathryn). (A/N Kathryn is a friend of ours who moved last year and was just as, if not more, insane than we three are. We miss you Kathryn!) What a mind trip.
Moony- How do you spell "family" in French?
Prongs- Moony: "Famille". Padfoot: Come back down from whatever philosophical height you are trying to inhabit.
Padfoot- Me! At a philosophical height! This must be some sort of break-through in mathematics or science or whatever "philosophical" comes from. I'm gonna be rich!
Moony- Sorry Padfoot but not many philosophers became millionaires. In fact, Plato didn't recieve a cent.
Prongs- And Socrates recieved a funeral from the governors of the city where he lived.
Padfoot- "Eureka" could be my saying!
Moony- I'm pretty sure it's copy-righted.
Prongs- How did we get from sporks to Eureka? Never mind, don't answer that.
Spanish Class
Padfoot- Oh, but I will answer that with my philosophical genius . . . we had changed the subject numerous amounts of time (ex: "Hello!" "Go get conselling and ice cream!") BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Genius, I tell you!
Prongs- We have agreed that I am the genius. you? A philosopher? In that case, we must kill you. You are not a philosopher. Get used to it. Must . . watch . . . caesium! Pyromania and kleptomania means . . . I am Irish in blood and mind! And my affinity for rabid beavers and Monty Python means I'm a little Canadian.
Padfoot- . . . . .okay . . . . .what's your point?
Prongs- I have proof my "unique" personality is a result of a mish-mash of cultures, countries, nationalities and foods.
Padfoot- Mmmmmmmm! Food. Man, those chocolate covered peanuts with artificial coulouring are delicious! They are the official food of the Marauders! (A/N If anyone is actually reading this and is confused, Padfoot means MM Peanuts)
Prongs- I know. I was there. I declared them the official food.
Padfoot- Really. I never knew. How could I have missed THAT.
Prongs- And the Queen of Unsubtle is . . . I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count. If you have the gift of sarcasm (like me), you have to be subtle or the brains of those around you will be turned to mush. Not mine, though.
Padfoot- Well, last time you couldn't read my frickin' sarasm!
Prongs- Are you sure? Maybe I was just driving up your blood pressure. It's a perk of supplying you with answers to school work.
Padfoot- Well, that's cruel, man. That was harsh!
Prongs- You deserved it.
Health Class
(A/N Padfoot is is a different Health class than Moony and Prongs. So it's just them two writing in the notebook)
Prongs- Moony has just publically admitted in front of witnesses (i.e. the rest of our Health class excepting the teacher who is both BLIND and DEAF!) that she has fluid instead of a brain.
Moony- I did? I don't remember that! (Although it probably happened about 5 minutes ago . . . .)
Prongs- Goldfish's five second memory. Oh, a stick. Beep. Oh, a stick. Beep. Oh, a stick. Beep. Oh, a stick.
Moony- That was hilarious! Beep. That was hilarious! Beep. That was hilarious! Beep.
Prongs- Thank you. I am willing to overlook you cranial shortcomings because of the compliment.
Moony- Was that a compliment? I didn't notice. (No, that was not being sarcastic!)
Prongs- Notice the phrase above "That was hilarious". Anyway. Change of subject. BRING GLUE TO SCHOOL TOMORROW! We will perform random acts of mind-boggling annoyance, in accordance with the prophecy. First, we'll do the coin/glue joke, in accordance with the prophecy.
Moony- Gotcha! I don't know what to say . . .
Prongs- Me neither.
Moony- I've done all this stuff the teacher's talking about (first aid).
Prongs- Irish people don't belive in organized health care. If it hurts, scream and try to convince people you're not faking.
And there we will stop while the authors run off to get some ice cream. We strongly suggest that any readers go do the same.
We are extremely proud of ourselves, as we have managed to get two chapters online in two days. That works out as . . . . . a chapter a day! Wait, does it? Anyway. Do not expect more of the same, because Prongs's keyboard is throwing a temper again and the caps lock button is stuck. So she has to hold her finger down on the shift button. But you don't need to know that. So, go feed your goldfish. What? You don't have a golfdish? Damn, that's goldfish. Odd how switching two letters can totally change the meaning of a word. OK, I've just been informed by the voice in my head that I'm rambling. Tot ziens. Au revoir. Adios. Goodbye. YES, I'm going now.