"Ed, don't tell me you actually want to talk to this guy!" Faye
protested, rather loudly.
Edward simply smiled and nodded erratically.
"Alright, fine," she complied. "Just make it quick!"
Ed clapped. "Yay, wishes for Ed!" she laughed.
They both stood in an environment similar to the one Spike was in, only at a different mall. The teenager's costumes were different, the tree was smaller, and the throne was more flamboyantly decorated, but the most important person was still there. Faye was ready to bag an easy twelve million. After all, how hard could it be to catch a guy whose cover is a department store Santa?
They reached the front of their line, and a young man ushered them both in.
"Okay, Edward," she said sweetly. "Tell Santa Claus what you want for Christmas."
Ed clapped again and bounded up onto his lap. She began rattling off a list, counting on her fingers and putting spasmodic comments in here and there.
Faye grew bored of it very quickly. She stood arms akimbo, leaning most of her weight on her left leg, so that her left hip jutted out, and tapped her right foot impatiently. She blew a few renegade strands of hair out of her eyes, wondering just how long this would take her. If she knew Ed, it could be a long time. As she watched the girl go on and on, she began to notice that Claus was listening half-heartedly- his eyes were set on Faye. He stared her up and down, and a wicked smile crossed Faye's face. So he was that kind of guy... This, she could work with.
Faye grabbed Ed by the shoulders and roughly yanked her off the man's lap.
"Faye-Faye-!" she began to protest, but Faye clamped a hand over her mouth.
"That's enough now, Edward. Let the poor man be."
Claus grinned at her. "It's okay, Miss..."
Faye daintily extended one hand towards him. "Valentine."
He took her hand and kissed it, smiling ear to ear. "Miss Valentine. Is this your daughter?"
"No, just a young friend of mine." She sighed. "I'm all alone..."
The man gulped and made his move. "So, Miss Valentine-"
"Call me Faye." She interjected.
"Miss Faye. Anything... you want for Christmas?"
She giggled, a laugh dripping with false sugar, and sat herself down on one of his thighs, crossing her legs over his lap. She then reached around his neck and leaned back, looking deep into his eyes. "Anything?"
Claus stuttered for a moment. "S-sure... Anything you... anything you want!"
Faye could her women complaining behind her, something about public indecency, but she really didn't care. "Close your eyes for a moment?"
"Sure!" He did exactly what she asked, growing excited.
"Open 'em." She commanded gruffly.
Santa opened his eyes anxiously, only to find himself staring down the barrel of a Glock. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed, trying to jump. Faye spilled off his lap, but recovered quickly and kept her aim between his eyes the whole time.
"This fraud has a twelve million bounty on his head!" she announced to the worry-stricken crowd around her. "Play it safe, and nobody'll get hurt!"
They dispersed and allowed her to force the man into a backroom. Once there, Faye glowed over him, looking smug as ever. "Call the police, Ed," she instructed. "Let them we know we've got their guy."
Ed tutted and shook her head. "Sorry, Miss Valentine!" he apologized.
"Sorry? For what."
"Ed can't do that for you!"she sang.
"What?! Why not?"
"Because you don't have their guy. You got the wrong Santa!"
"...Are you kidding me?"
"Nope!"
"...You're sure?"
"Yep yep!"
Faye and Santa exchanged looks, and with that, she and Ed were on their way out.
Edward simply smiled and nodded erratically.
"Alright, fine," she complied. "Just make it quick!"
Ed clapped. "Yay, wishes for Ed!" she laughed.
They both stood in an environment similar to the one Spike was in, only at a different mall. The teenager's costumes were different, the tree was smaller, and the throne was more flamboyantly decorated, but the most important person was still there. Faye was ready to bag an easy twelve million. After all, how hard could it be to catch a guy whose cover is a department store Santa?
They reached the front of their line, and a young man ushered them both in.
"Okay, Edward," she said sweetly. "Tell Santa Claus what you want for Christmas."
Ed clapped again and bounded up onto his lap. She began rattling off a list, counting on her fingers and putting spasmodic comments in here and there.
Faye grew bored of it very quickly. She stood arms akimbo, leaning most of her weight on her left leg, so that her left hip jutted out, and tapped her right foot impatiently. She blew a few renegade strands of hair out of her eyes, wondering just how long this would take her. If she knew Ed, it could be a long time. As she watched the girl go on and on, she began to notice that Claus was listening half-heartedly- his eyes were set on Faye. He stared her up and down, and a wicked smile crossed Faye's face. So he was that kind of guy... This, she could work with.
Faye grabbed Ed by the shoulders and roughly yanked her off the man's lap.
"Faye-Faye-!" she began to protest, but Faye clamped a hand over her mouth.
"That's enough now, Edward. Let the poor man be."
Claus grinned at her. "It's okay, Miss..."
Faye daintily extended one hand towards him. "Valentine."
He took her hand and kissed it, smiling ear to ear. "Miss Valentine. Is this your daughter?"
"No, just a young friend of mine." She sighed. "I'm all alone..."
The man gulped and made his move. "So, Miss Valentine-"
"Call me Faye." She interjected.
"Miss Faye. Anything... you want for Christmas?"
She giggled, a laugh dripping with false sugar, and sat herself down on one of his thighs, crossing her legs over his lap. She then reached around his neck and leaned back, looking deep into his eyes. "Anything?"
Claus stuttered for a moment. "S-sure... Anything you... anything you want!"
Faye could her women complaining behind her, something about public indecency, but she really didn't care. "Close your eyes for a moment?"
"Sure!" He did exactly what she asked, growing excited.
"Open 'em." She commanded gruffly.
Santa opened his eyes anxiously, only to find himself staring down the barrel of a Glock. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed, trying to jump. Faye spilled off his lap, but recovered quickly and kept her aim between his eyes the whole time.
"This fraud has a twelve million bounty on his head!" she announced to the worry-stricken crowd around her. "Play it safe, and nobody'll get hurt!"
They dispersed and allowed her to force the man into a backroom. Once there, Faye glowed over him, looking smug as ever. "Call the police, Ed," she instructed. "Let them we know we've got their guy."
Ed tutted and shook her head. "Sorry, Miss Valentine!" he apologized.
"Sorry? For what."
"Ed can't do that for you!"she sang.
"What?! Why not?"
"Because you don't have their guy. You got the wrong Santa!"
"...Are you kidding me?"
"Nope!"
"...You're sure?"
"Yep yep!"
Faye and Santa exchanged looks, and with that, she and Ed were on their way out.