Act II: Without You


I started back in a panic. He did… what?? Unwilling to trust my ears I kept on listening to the confusing dialogue between Ukyou and Ranma.

Ukyou shook her head, slowly and disbelievingly. Her eyes widened in fear. "No…" I heard her whispering. "Ran-chan… You didn't-- That… won't do you anything…" Her voice got lost in a sob.

"Stop cryin'", Ranma commented not understanding. "Served her right. I was even way to friendly with her."

"Ranma!" Ukyou now yelled out and tried to hold the tears back that rose into her narrowed eyes. "Honestly, do you really think that's what--"

In a lightning motion Ranma suddenly stood right in front of her and pressed his trembling hand on her mouth while he clenched a fist of his other hand. Not looking up to her he spoke slowly. "Don't--you--dare--speak-it-out…" His bangs fell in his face and hid his eyes.  Only the crack of his shaking fist produced a terrifying sound in the deathly silence.

I was completely shocked and turned away from them to lean against the wall of the hall. Just what in the world is happening anyway? - I wondered in a big confusion.  Impossible that Ranma could kill somebody. It did happen, if necessary, that he fought until his opponent's unconsciousness and once in a while he tended to be quite insensitive and not understanding. But never… definitely NEVER did I see him as icy as on this day. I could have sworn that he would never be able to murder someone. And all that aside, he would never had spoken it out that unrepentantly.

The world surrounding me began to rotate. Too much, that was definitely too much at the same time. And there was still something. Anything. Deep inside of me I knew it, I felt it. But I just would not be able to recall that too well hidden memory. Something was missing in that whole, big mess. Just like… a piece of a puzzle. Something that explained why everything was so different on that truly strange and dark day. Ranma, a murderer? That could not be true. Yet that was what he had just said, wasn't it? I heard it with my very own ears. More and more questions ran through my mind. I guess there were soon too many so that my brain could not match it all anymore and everything became all dark, suddenly.

It appeared just to be a second but when I opened my eyes again it was already night. The rain had stopped and now, all that sounded through the thin walls of our house was the rustle of the wind in the trees. Why didn't they wake me up? Slightly dazed I padded through the dark corridor. My head felt as if it was completely empty. What was it that Ranma said last? Right, he killed Shampoo. I tried hard to figure it out. Did all that really happen? Or did I just wake up from a long, horrible nightmare?

I was torn back into reality when a sudden noise caught my ear. What's that? - I asked myself in shock and then instinctively followed the loud, terrifying cries which reminded me of a warning siren. With growing speed I moved towards the place where the crack came from, down the stairs, through the dark tee room, crossing the garden and at last when I found what I was looking for, stopped in the entrance of the dojo. Whoever was inside did not care to switch on the light. Insecurely I came closer to the person that I noticed in a corner of the dojo, knees pulled to his chin. At the distance of a few meters and in the pale moonlight that shone through the door I recognized it was my father. He cried.

"Why? WHY??" he screamed at the empty walls. His tears dropped onto the wooden floor while he was slightly swaying back and forth in a monotonic rhythm. 


"B-but Dad…" I whispered and wished so badly to hug him with all the love of a daughter like I did often when I was younger. But something inside of me would not allow to do such a thing. Petrified I stared at him, seemingly unable to move.

"So young… She was still so young, Kami-sama. Why did she have to die, why did she have to suffer like that?!"

It felt like some lightening flashed through my body. First slowly but faster and faster I shook my head. So it was all true. Shampoo was really dead. Ranma, my Ranma was a murderer. Ranma who saved my life more often than I could count. That Ranma who even cared for me when he thought I was a doll. Ranma who helped his worst enemies when he felt like he ought to. Ranma who every once in a while  gave me one of his rare but very loving smiles which showed me that I really did mean something to him. Once more everything around me seemed to melt away in hasty rotations. The walls were deforming, were beginning to flow away, to become one with the floor, the ceiling, the altar, the shrine and then melted together in nothing but a deep black.

But suddenly a thought crossed my mind and fortunately everything looked just like it did before when I was probably even rescued from insanity. Since when does Dad have such a good relation with Shampoo? - I wondered. After all, I saw him crying like that only one time ever. That was when Mum had died. How could he put the death of a loved person such as Mum on the same level as the death of a practically strange person who always only brought ill luck over our house and tried to sabotage his ideas of the engagement and all.  
Somewhere deep inside of me I still kind of knew that there was a lot more about it. There had to be some more and even some very important aspects which I simply overlooked. Suddenly I was sad, deeply sad and I silently left the dojo after my father's cries too began to fade away by time and only a muffled sound was to hear when he again and again hit his head against the wall.
 
Depressed I crept through the garden, back into the house. The strong night wind blew loudly and furiously but I was not cold. Only when I reached the tee room I recognized two well known voices that came from the kitchen.

"Ranma has been acting strangely lately", I heard Kasumi say but for some indefinite reason I missed a bit more concern and sympathy in her voice like I had been used to.

"What's he still doing here anyway?" Nabiki asked coldly without responding to what our elder Sister just said. "It's only his fault. If he had only protected her, then--"  

 
"Nabiki", our eldest sister interrupted her, criticizing. But Nabiki did not stop complaining.

"Wake up. It's true! He doesn't even want to tell us what it was that distracted him when it happened. Who knows... But whatever it was, it's to blame for that a young, pretty girl doesn't live to see the next spring… to see anything at all."

I gulped and listened to them. 'He had not protected her' - that's what Nabiki said, more or less. So Ranma did not kill Shampoo on purpose. It was all a terrible accident… which kind of ever. But how could Nabiki be so cruel and make Ranma feel so bad about it? She did not even like Shampoo. It seemed like Nabiki had spoken her thoughts out right into his face and in her notorious powerful voice. She was able to convince anyone that a peanut was really a strawberry if she wanted to. And now Ranma was seeing himself as a murderer. Poor Ranma...

 
 
Suddenly I winced. I heard a sound from the kitchen like breaking glass or anything. Instantly I ran to my sisters but I stopped at the door frame.

"Damn it, DAMMIT!!" Nabiki cursed loudly and then sank to her knees. "She can't just…"
 
Kasumi looked at her for a long moment, a tired expression on her face. Nervously she wiped the back of her hand over her forehead and then hesitated for a moment before she greedily took a pack of cigarets from the pocket of her apron. I could not believe my eyes. I was only able to do some hoarse and croaking noises when I saw Kasumi lighting a cigaret to then inhale the smoke in sincere satisfaction. Only after three hectic drags she bowed down to Nabiki and flung her arms around her younger sister's trembling body. "Pshhh… my poor little one…" she comforted her and as she then, over Nabiki's shoulder dragged once more.

To say I was touched would be way underdone.  In fact I could not even speak out a word of comfort or sympathy. But what should I have said at all? When was the last time I saw Nabiki cry? She always seemed so relaxed and strong. And so was Kasumi. Our eldest sister always tried hard to save a smile for us. Of course those two's personalities appeared to distinguish a lot from each other and the strengths the two of them were blessed with were of two totally different kinds. Nonetheless in moments like this I realized once more how similar they really are. The truth is, both put a mask on when it comes to social problems or things like that. That also means both have a very strong sense of self control. But to see them like that, to see Nabiki cry that hard and seeing Kasumi with a pale tan like that, deep eye rings darkening her face and… she was smoking?! That was far beyond any problems about second faces.

I stood there for quite a moment and stared at them in disbelief. I watched them crying and embracing each other. After a while I decided to let them alone with their mourning so that I would not disturb them. Was I really that insensitive after all? Shampoo's death affected everyone here so deeply. Well, everyone except me. All that I could think of was Ranma calling himself a murderer. Too many absolutely crazy things had happened. And only on one day. What time was it anyway? I had no clue. But I was tired, incredibly tired from constantly straining my brain like that. Tired from not losing the feeling that I despite all thoughts still missed something. Probably something very important. Quietly I crawled upstairs, aiming for my room. I was so lost in my thoughts that I only after entering my room noticed a deep but calm breath coming from the direction of my bed.

"Who's there?" I shouted in shock. No answer. In a panic I grabbed for the light switch. But I was too nervous to find it.
 
"Akane…" I suddenly heard Ranma softly say my name.

"Ranma, is that you? What are you doing in my room?" Carefully I stepped closer and only then I saw that he was lying on my bed. His empty eyes were fixed on the ceiling. Flustered, I did not dare anything but look at him. Seeing him that motionless simply took my voice off.

"Rain rain go away, come again another day." He started to sing in a monotonic melody and in a sepulchral voice.

I gulped, not knowing what to think of it.

Suddenly but slowly he straightened up. His eyes seemed not to be turned on anything in particular when he said in a low voice. "You're still here…" With one hand he grabbed for my quilt. His hand shook when his grip of the fabric tightened and he pulled it close to his nose and mouth in order to then inhale carefully, similar to how I had just seen Kasumi do with her cigaret.

"Um… Listen, Ranma…" I finally began to speak in a weak voice. "I don't know what happened but I'm sure it wasn't your fault…"

His face distorted again just as if he had had to take unbearable pain. "You are STILL here! DAMMIT!" he repeated, screaming, and let the quilt fall  on the ground. "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GET LOST FROM HERE?!"

He was not looking into my face yet when he at high pace and yet like in slow motion left my room.



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~ End of Act II

Alright, you guys. You know what? Something in this chapter was really bothering me. Actually there were even two things (aside the fact that all my skills for the English language seem to fade away once it really should come to use *grr*). First, there are lots of puns in the original story. Man, I LOVE puns in my stories and now that I think of it, I believe I didn't ever write a fanfic without using some nice, significant or just funny puns here and there. Now the annoying thing is, puns are something very… veeeeery hard to translate. That's, if a translation is possible at all. Yup. A grown up, fairly intelligent young woman should have known so earlier. But… eh-eh. K, maybe I've gotta forget about the second point and I only ought to rely on my fresh and vital youth instead. Yaay… Uhum. Anyway, the second minus of the translation is this dumb song. BOY! Why didn't I notice it sooner? I'd never had only thought of a translation if I would have remembered there were the lyrics of that old and incredibly stupid nursery rhyme. It goes like "Es regent, es regent. Die Erde wird nass." Ok, I'll stop here since I don't really expect the majority of readers to understand what it means. There's just no fun or anything IF you don't understand. And here's my problem for you. I began to search like crazy for some fitting text parts and finally found an old children's song which included rain. ;_; Isn't that pathetic? However, I seriously hope all fits now, more or less. I was even aware of using more than two lines so that there's not too much to do eventually wrong.

Oh, and talking about 'majority of readers' and all. 4 reviews? Only? Please, you can do better. ^^; Here I'm losing my sanity to do this for you. So at least tell me what you dislike. I don't care weather you like it or not. Ok, that's a lie, you know that. But I'm curious to learn your opinion though. Complain as much as you like to. Come on. This simply costs me too much time and energy as that I could accept it to be ignored by so many people. ;_;

(See? I've lost my sanity already. I'm sorry, really. Usually I'm not like this. *sigh*)