MERRY CRISTMAS TO ALL FRIENDS AND THANKS FOR YOUR REVIEWS!!!
* * * *
Helena felt terrible the rest of the day. She went back to Clock Tower early and she ate alone at the dining room table. Alfred had saw her sadness and had tried to comfort her but had been unsucesful. She had refused to talk. He knew in that moment the problem was serious.
The time ran slowly, Helena saw the clock every minute waiting for Barbara to get back. After some hours she sat at the lab, she had been there almost an hour. After a few minutes more Helena heard the elevator door opened and she stood up. Barbara wheeled in. She put her books and bag over one of the tables and went to the computer ignoring Helena. She put her eyeglasses on, took out her notebook and began to type data. Helena didn't move behind her. She waited a few seconds before ask:
"Are we going to patrol tonight?."
"No." Barbra answered with cold voice.
"No?" she asked dissapointed.
"No."
Helena looked away and hesitated a second "Why not?"
"Because I made a decision."
Helena kept silence a few seconds before asking again."Are we going to patrol tomorrow?"
"No."
"Well."
"Helena you hate this," Barbara faced her "you always tell me that you aren't sure. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. So, this is over. It was a stupid idea, I thought you could be a good hero and I was wrong."
"You. were wrong?" Helena muttered.
"Yes, being a hero is not your life choice. You want to be a normal teen. I'm sorry if I forced you to the training and all those things. You did all these just to please me."
"That's not true."
"Yes it's true, and I'm tired." Barbara stopped talking and went back to her work. "I'm tired of trying to make you be something that you hate... It was my mistake, I'm sorry."
Helena kept silence, she didn't expect that answer.
"Go to any place you want, the night is yours." Barbara sighed.
"Barbara."
"Helena I have a lot work to do, okay?" she almost shouted angry.
"May I go out to see Gibson?"
"Do anything you want, it's your life."
Helena felt a knot in her throat and lowered her head. She stepped back and went to the elevator in silence and exited the Clock Tower. Alfred listened all the conversation and walked to the lab. He stood up in front of Barbara, she kept her attention on the computer.
"What's wrong Alfred?" she asked impatient voice a few seconds after she saw him just standing in front of her.
"Nothing, I was just thinking." He answered.
"Are you going to tell me that I was rude?" she asked him.
"You read my mind."
"She's always in a bad mood, it's my fault. I thought she would be a hero and I was wrong. I forced her to do something she didn't want to do." Barbara said feeling a lot of anger within.
"Miss Barbara, I think that you are breaking your first rule: Don't let your anger control your mind." Alfred raised her brow. "There is something behind all of this."
Barbara took off her glasses and looked him. "She thinks that I'm an useless disabled person, a nuisance in her life."
"I don't think so. She usually reacts with anger, with out thinking. Christmas is still a hard season for her."
"She told me what she thinks of me."
"You know that's not true. She is learning, she is just a kid."
"No Alfred, she is a woman who knows what is doing."
"Miss Barbara, she is young, she is commiting mistakes as you once did, as everybody does."
"I know that, but I need for her to think about what she wants."
"And do you think this is the best way? Being hard on her? Closing your heart to her? Oh, I see. You are trying not to feel guilty."
"Guilty of what?" Barbara felt annoyed.
"Of the pain that you know she has inside because you pushed her." Alfred explained.
"What? Alfred what are you trying to say? She always pushed me! She doesn't let me in! She always tells me that she doesn't know if she wants be a hero, if she."
"As I remember you had too your doubts too. You quit being Batgirl sometimes. You spoke in anger to people that you loved. You didn't mean what you said. It wasn't how you really felt about them."
Barbara put her fingers on the bridge of her nose. Alfred always knew how to put her back against the wall "Oh Alfred. It's. She is always difficult."
"And that is a good excuse to push her out? Miss Barbara, you knew she was difficult since the beginning, this is not new. She doesn't have any one, just you. If you push her away, you leave her alone. Alone with all the words: a-l-o-n-e. You have your father but she only has you. What do you think she will do if you close the door of the only place where she feels safe?."
Barbara kept silent. Alfred was right. She had let her anger cloud her judgement. She had been so rude with Helena. "Yes, you are right." She took off her eyeglasses "I know is not an excuse but she made me so mad."
"Is hard to keep control with Miss Helena. I know, but it's harder for her, and the most important thing is that she loves you so much, in her way of course. You know it."
"Yes, that's true." Barbara looked around. "Where did she go?
"After you kicked her out, she left."
Barbara looked at him feeling guilty. She went to her computer and searched for Helena's signal.
* * *
"That's enough Helena." Gibson said to his friend while trying to take the glass off scotch away from her. They were at his house where his parents had a liquor cabinet. They stole a bottle of scotch while his parents were out. They were in Gibson's room sitting on the floor.
"Don't fuck with me!" A very drunk Helena, pulled her hand away.
"Helena, we will get in trouble."
"I screwed it all up Gibson. She will never forgive me."
"What exactly did you do?"
"I hurt her... I always answered her in bad mood and got her, hic!. in trouble." She emptied the glass.
"Who is she?"
"Barbara, I told her. I told her many awful things. you should have seen her face. I broke her heart. I'm a shit."
"You can talk with her, say you're sorry." Gibson said.
"She is the only one that cares about me and I called her useless." Helena mumbled and started to cry while Gibson brushed her hair with her hand.
"Oh Helena, she will forgive you soon, she is just mad now."
"No.. she looked me as she never has before. She was... really hurt. I'm a son of bitch. I screwed it all up." She grabbed the scotch bottle again.
"Helena, it's late" Gibson took the bottle too. "Barbara must be worried about you."
The kid pushed him back with incredible strength. He hit his back against the door, and looked angry at her. Helena poured a bit of scotch in her glass and drank it fast. Gibson walked toward her, took the bottle and crashed it against the wall. "That's enough Helena!"
"Fuck you! Why you did that?"
"I'll take you home" he took her by the arm.
Helena pushed him. "Let me alone!" she shouted "I don't need you or. Barbara" she stood up hesitantly. "I don't need any one of you!" the kid stood up a few seconds in silence "I just need my mom."
"You can't go alone, you aren't in any condition, let me take you home." Gibson took her arm again.
"I don't have home!" she shouted "I screwed it all up! Don't you understand? I hurt the only person that loves me! I'm a shit!" she crashed the glass against the floor.
"I love you too..." Gibson said in low voice "I love you so much. In a way that you never would give me back."
"I screwed it al." Helena walked to the window and jumped down. Gibson tried to stop her unsuccessfully. She disappeared into the night.
* * *
"Where is she now?" Barbara asked by phone "Okay, don't worry." she hung the phone up and looked at Alfred showing he concern. "She was with Gibson, she was drunk but she left the house, she is not okay. He don't know where she went and I can't locate her, she has the mic turned off."
"What are you going to do?"
"It's snowing, I don't have any idea about where she would be. She told him that she didn't have a home. Alfred, I need find her."
* * * *
Helena felt terrible the rest of the day. She went back to Clock Tower early and she ate alone at the dining room table. Alfred had saw her sadness and had tried to comfort her but had been unsucesful. She had refused to talk. He knew in that moment the problem was serious.
The time ran slowly, Helena saw the clock every minute waiting for Barbara to get back. After some hours she sat at the lab, she had been there almost an hour. After a few minutes more Helena heard the elevator door opened and she stood up. Barbara wheeled in. She put her books and bag over one of the tables and went to the computer ignoring Helena. She put her eyeglasses on, took out her notebook and began to type data. Helena didn't move behind her. She waited a few seconds before ask:
"Are we going to patrol tonight?."
"No." Barbra answered with cold voice.
"No?" she asked dissapointed.
"No."
Helena looked away and hesitated a second "Why not?"
"Because I made a decision."
Helena kept silence a few seconds before asking again."Are we going to patrol tomorrow?"
"No."
"Well."
"Helena you hate this," Barbara faced her "you always tell me that you aren't sure. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. So, this is over. It was a stupid idea, I thought you could be a good hero and I was wrong."
"You. were wrong?" Helena muttered.
"Yes, being a hero is not your life choice. You want to be a normal teen. I'm sorry if I forced you to the training and all those things. You did all these just to please me."
"That's not true."
"Yes it's true, and I'm tired." Barbara stopped talking and went back to her work. "I'm tired of trying to make you be something that you hate... It was my mistake, I'm sorry."
Helena kept silence, she didn't expect that answer.
"Go to any place you want, the night is yours." Barbara sighed.
"Barbara."
"Helena I have a lot work to do, okay?" she almost shouted angry.
"May I go out to see Gibson?"
"Do anything you want, it's your life."
Helena felt a knot in her throat and lowered her head. She stepped back and went to the elevator in silence and exited the Clock Tower. Alfred listened all the conversation and walked to the lab. He stood up in front of Barbara, she kept her attention on the computer.
"What's wrong Alfred?" she asked impatient voice a few seconds after she saw him just standing in front of her.
"Nothing, I was just thinking." He answered.
"Are you going to tell me that I was rude?" she asked him.
"You read my mind."
"She's always in a bad mood, it's my fault. I thought she would be a hero and I was wrong. I forced her to do something she didn't want to do." Barbara said feeling a lot of anger within.
"Miss Barbara, I think that you are breaking your first rule: Don't let your anger control your mind." Alfred raised her brow. "There is something behind all of this."
Barbara took off her glasses and looked him. "She thinks that I'm an useless disabled person, a nuisance in her life."
"I don't think so. She usually reacts with anger, with out thinking. Christmas is still a hard season for her."
"She told me what she thinks of me."
"You know that's not true. She is learning, she is just a kid."
"No Alfred, she is a woman who knows what is doing."
"Miss Barbara, she is young, she is commiting mistakes as you once did, as everybody does."
"I know that, but I need for her to think about what she wants."
"And do you think this is the best way? Being hard on her? Closing your heart to her? Oh, I see. You are trying not to feel guilty."
"Guilty of what?" Barbara felt annoyed.
"Of the pain that you know she has inside because you pushed her." Alfred explained.
"What? Alfred what are you trying to say? She always pushed me! She doesn't let me in! She always tells me that she doesn't know if she wants be a hero, if she."
"As I remember you had too your doubts too. You quit being Batgirl sometimes. You spoke in anger to people that you loved. You didn't mean what you said. It wasn't how you really felt about them."
Barbara put her fingers on the bridge of her nose. Alfred always knew how to put her back against the wall "Oh Alfred. It's. She is always difficult."
"And that is a good excuse to push her out? Miss Barbara, you knew she was difficult since the beginning, this is not new. She doesn't have any one, just you. If you push her away, you leave her alone. Alone with all the words: a-l-o-n-e. You have your father but she only has you. What do you think she will do if you close the door of the only place where she feels safe?."
Barbara kept silent. Alfred was right. She had let her anger cloud her judgement. She had been so rude with Helena. "Yes, you are right." She took off her eyeglasses "I know is not an excuse but she made me so mad."
"Is hard to keep control with Miss Helena. I know, but it's harder for her, and the most important thing is that she loves you so much, in her way of course. You know it."
"Yes, that's true." Barbara looked around. "Where did she go?
"After you kicked her out, she left."
Barbara looked at him feeling guilty. She went to her computer and searched for Helena's signal.
* * *
"That's enough Helena." Gibson said to his friend while trying to take the glass off scotch away from her. They were at his house where his parents had a liquor cabinet. They stole a bottle of scotch while his parents were out. They were in Gibson's room sitting on the floor.
"Don't fuck with me!" A very drunk Helena, pulled her hand away.
"Helena, we will get in trouble."
"I screwed it all up Gibson. She will never forgive me."
"What exactly did you do?"
"I hurt her... I always answered her in bad mood and got her, hic!. in trouble." She emptied the glass.
"Who is she?"
"Barbara, I told her. I told her many awful things. you should have seen her face. I broke her heart. I'm a shit."
"You can talk with her, say you're sorry." Gibson said.
"She is the only one that cares about me and I called her useless." Helena mumbled and started to cry while Gibson brushed her hair with her hand.
"Oh Helena, she will forgive you soon, she is just mad now."
"No.. she looked me as she never has before. She was... really hurt. I'm a son of bitch. I screwed it all up." She grabbed the scotch bottle again.
"Helena, it's late" Gibson took the bottle too. "Barbara must be worried about you."
The kid pushed him back with incredible strength. He hit his back against the door, and looked angry at her. Helena poured a bit of scotch in her glass and drank it fast. Gibson walked toward her, took the bottle and crashed it against the wall. "That's enough Helena!"
"Fuck you! Why you did that?"
"I'll take you home" he took her by the arm.
Helena pushed him. "Let me alone!" she shouted "I don't need you or. Barbara" she stood up hesitantly. "I don't need any one of you!" the kid stood up a few seconds in silence "I just need my mom."
"You can't go alone, you aren't in any condition, let me take you home." Gibson took her arm again.
"I don't have home!" she shouted "I screwed it all up! Don't you understand? I hurt the only person that loves me! I'm a shit!" she crashed the glass against the floor.
"I love you too..." Gibson said in low voice "I love you so much. In a way that you never would give me back."
"I screwed it al." Helena walked to the window and jumped down. Gibson tried to stop her unsuccessfully. She disappeared into the night.
* * *
"Where is she now?" Barbara asked by phone "Okay, don't worry." she hung the phone up and looked at Alfred showing he concern. "She was with Gibson, she was drunk but she left the house, she is not okay. He don't know where she went and I can't locate her, she has the mic turned off."
"What are you going to do?"
"It's snowing, I don't have any idea about where she would be. She told him that she didn't have a home. Alfred, I need find her."