A Tok'ra's Guide to the Tau'ri
by Anouk Sun Amun (anouk_sun_amun@hotmail.com)
Rating/Pairings/Season/Category/Disclaimer/Summary: See first chapter
Content Warning: language (one mild word, but I thought I'd put it in anyway)
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A/N: Now, this has been a VERY long time coming, and I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself. *winces* I did plan to get this up sooner, but I forgot I'd written most of it.
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At that moment the elevator lurched to a halt.
Jack looked at the worried faces of the Tok'ra. "That's supposed to happen," he said, shrugging his shoulders casually.
The lights flickered momentarily before going out entirely.
"Okay," Jack admitted, "that isn't."
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Chapter Five: This is Not Going to be Fun...
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"Jack?" Jacob asked, his tone unamused. "Tell me you didn't arrange for this to happen."
"I didn't," the Colonel professed. "It's not my fault!"
There was a few seconds of silence, which made the near pitch-black darkness seem more oppressive.
"The question is this: how do we get out?" Freya enquired. Her voice was steady, but Sam guessed she felt otherwise.
"Wait a sec," Sam told them. In the dark, she pushed her way past Martouf and Freya, to where she knew the emergency phone would be.
"Excuse me," she muttered, holding her hands out in front of her. She strained her eyes in an attempt to make out shapes, but the minimal light only served to make it harder to see.
The day was getting progressively worse. It could be no more than 0915, and she had already had the arrival of the Tok'ra sprung on her, had to explain -- in front of Daniel -- how to put on a bra, and was now stuck in a lift sixteen storeys underground.
After some careful navigation around Martouf, Sam's palm found the cold metal of the wall.
"Cater?" Jack asked. He sounded amused.
"Almost there, sir," she replied. She slid her hand sideways until it hit the edge of the phone.
"Ow!" came a sudden wail from the back of the elevator.
"My apologies, Colonel O'Neill," Garshaw said.
"Ah, 's'okay," Jack answered. "Just can you not do the Goa'uldy voice when we're in a dark enclosed space?"
There was the sound of two solid objects colliding, followed by yet another.
"Okay," he yelled. "Once was an accident; twice is... twice is not!"
"Once again, my apologies," Garshaw told him.
"Your apologies? You just thumped me, then hit me again and knocked me to the ground!"
"Then do not insult the Tok'ra!" Garshaw shouted back. In the darkness her glowing eyes were obvious.
"Jacob," Jack said casually.
"Yeah."
"I think your leader needs some serious help."
"For once Jack I completely agree with you."
"You do?"
"Yeah," Jacob said sarcastically and soon followed it up with a resounding 'thud'.
"I meant mental help; not help beating me up!"
"A punch-up in a malfunctioning lift isn't going to help Tau'ri/Tok'ra relations much, is it?" Daniel yelled, trying to be heard over Jack's cursing.
"I do not believe so, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c answered.
'At least someone's calm,' Sam thought as she picked up the receiver of the emergency phone and held it to her ear. 'Wait 'til Janet hears: my dad and the leader of the Tok'ra rebellion beating the crap out of my commanding officer.' Any other day it would have been funny.
It was surprisingly silent as the phone auto-dialled.
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"So?" Jack asked from floor level when she placed the phone back in the cradle.
"They'll be here as soon as they possibly can," Sam told him.
"Oh."
"Yes, sir. Oh."
"We'll be here for a while then?"
"Yeah."
-----------------------------------------------------
Ten minutes later there was a knock on the elevator roof. "Hello?" a voice called.
"Hey," Jack called back. "This is Colonel O'Neill. Get us the hell out of here; that's an order!"
"Just give us a minute, Colonel," the disembodied voice told them. "Now, I'm going to open the emergency hatch, and you're all going to have to climb out. How many of you are there?"
"Eight," Sam replied hastily before her commanding officer could make another 'including the snakes' comment.
There was a the sound of a latch clicking. Suddenly a flashlight was shone down on them. They all blinked at the sudden light.
"Sorry," the now-visible technician apologised. "I'll move out of the way so you've go a clear space to pull yourselves up." He disappeared from view.
Freya turned to Jack, who had pulled himself into a standing position. Very little light came down through the hatch, so her features were half obscured.
"How exactly do we get up there?" she asked, motioning to their exit.
'Great,' Sam thought. She checked her watch: the digital display showed 0930. 'This is not going to be fun.'
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A/N:
by Anouk Sun Amun (anouk_sun_amun@hotmail.com)
Rating/Pairings/Season/Category/Disclaimer/Summary: See first chapter
Content Warning: language (one mild word, but I thought I'd put it in anyway)
-----------------------------------------------------
A/N: Now, this has been a VERY long time coming, and I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself. *winces* I did plan to get this up sooner, but I forgot I'd written most of it.
-----------------------------------------------------
At that moment the elevator lurched to a halt.
Jack looked at the worried faces of the Tok'ra. "That's supposed to happen," he said, shrugging his shoulders casually.
The lights flickered momentarily before going out entirely.
"Okay," Jack admitted, "that isn't."
-----------------------------------------------------
Chapter Five: This is Not Going to be Fun...
-----------------------------------------------------
"Jack?" Jacob asked, his tone unamused. "Tell me you didn't arrange for this to happen."
"I didn't," the Colonel professed. "It's not my fault!"
There was a few seconds of silence, which made the near pitch-black darkness seem more oppressive.
"The question is this: how do we get out?" Freya enquired. Her voice was steady, but Sam guessed she felt otherwise.
"Wait a sec," Sam told them. In the dark, she pushed her way past Martouf and Freya, to where she knew the emergency phone would be.
"Excuse me," she muttered, holding her hands out in front of her. She strained her eyes in an attempt to make out shapes, but the minimal light only served to make it harder to see.
The day was getting progressively worse. It could be no more than 0915, and she had already had the arrival of the Tok'ra sprung on her, had to explain -- in front of Daniel -- how to put on a bra, and was now stuck in a lift sixteen storeys underground.
After some careful navigation around Martouf, Sam's palm found the cold metal of the wall.
"Cater?" Jack asked. He sounded amused.
"Almost there, sir," she replied. She slid her hand sideways until it hit the edge of the phone.
"Ow!" came a sudden wail from the back of the elevator.
"My apologies, Colonel O'Neill," Garshaw said.
"Ah, 's'okay," Jack answered. "Just can you not do the Goa'uldy voice when we're in a dark enclosed space?"
There was the sound of two solid objects colliding, followed by yet another.
"Okay," he yelled. "Once was an accident; twice is... twice is not!"
"Once again, my apologies," Garshaw told him.
"Your apologies? You just thumped me, then hit me again and knocked me to the ground!"
"Then do not insult the Tok'ra!" Garshaw shouted back. In the darkness her glowing eyes were obvious.
"Jacob," Jack said casually.
"Yeah."
"I think your leader needs some serious help."
"For once Jack I completely agree with you."
"You do?"
"Yeah," Jacob said sarcastically and soon followed it up with a resounding 'thud'.
"I meant mental help; not help beating me up!"
"A punch-up in a malfunctioning lift isn't going to help Tau'ri/Tok'ra relations much, is it?" Daniel yelled, trying to be heard over Jack's cursing.
"I do not believe so, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c answered.
'At least someone's calm,' Sam thought as she picked up the receiver of the emergency phone and held it to her ear. 'Wait 'til Janet hears: my dad and the leader of the Tok'ra rebellion beating the crap out of my commanding officer.' Any other day it would have been funny.
It was surprisingly silent as the phone auto-dialled.
-----------------------------------------------------
"So?" Jack asked from floor level when she placed the phone back in the cradle.
"They'll be here as soon as they possibly can," Sam told him.
"Oh."
"Yes, sir. Oh."
"We'll be here for a while then?"
"Yeah."
-----------------------------------------------------
Ten minutes later there was a knock on the elevator roof. "Hello?" a voice called.
"Hey," Jack called back. "This is Colonel O'Neill. Get us the hell out of here; that's an order!"
"Just give us a minute, Colonel," the disembodied voice told them. "Now, I'm going to open the emergency hatch, and you're all going to have to climb out. How many of you are there?"
"Eight," Sam replied hastily before her commanding officer could make another 'including the snakes' comment.
There was a the sound of a latch clicking. Suddenly a flashlight was shone down on them. They all blinked at the sudden light.
"Sorry," the now-visible technician apologised. "I'll move out of the way so you've go a clear space to pull yourselves up." He disappeared from view.
Freya turned to Jack, who had pulled himself into a standing position. Very little light came down through the hatch, so her features were half obscured.
"How exactly do we get up there?" she asked, motioning to their exit.
'Great,' Sam thought. She checked her watch: the digital display showed 0930. 'This is not going to be fun.'
-----------------------------------------------------
A/N: