May The Femme Be With You!
Chapter 2
AUTHORS NOTE: If this story could get weirder or stupider, it just did!
Optimus Prime lifted his head from the autograph he was carefully signing and narrowed his optics. He looked across the packed-out hall from the small stage he was standing on. There was that noise again. A trilling keening sound. This was the second time he'd heard it.
"Magnus? What's that horrible noise?" Optimus asked his sub-commander who stood diligently behind him. Ultra Magnus was acting as bodyguard and jailer all at once. He felt stupid but he was way too worried about what Elita One would do to him if he (shock, horror!) disobeyed her orders.
"Mmm? What noise?" Magnus shook himself from the daze he had fallen into - the legacy of spending several Earth hours doing nothing more exciting than watching The Great Optimus Prime sign autographs and say 'Hi' to people.
The noise stopped.
Optimus tilted his head. "Oh. It's gone." He nodded at the next person in- line and bent to scrawl his signature.
"Uh huh," Magnus nodded and scratched the side of his cheek while looking disconsolately at the long snaking queue of people /aliens/ 'bots waiting to spend a few seconds with Optimus Prime.
Optimus was happy that he hadn't been targeted by crazed femmes. Yet. The weirdest females he'd met so far had only stood in front of him and stared at him with far away happy expressions. THAT he could handle.
The City Commander's attention was grabbed by what *looked* like a tall yellow haired beast making its way through the crowd. {An animal??} Magnus thought. An eager crowd of laughing and yelling people followed the thing. As it got closer Magnus realised 'it' seemed to be female. And metallic. {It looks like a femme,} Magnus mused. He bent his head forward and concentrated on the object.
A yell came from Magnus' left side. He looked up. Kup was pointing and yelling at the strange female. The female, whatever it was, started moving faster in the direction of Optimus and Magnus.
A trilling cry in a high-pitched out-of-tune girly voice caused Optimus' head to jerk up, "There's that noise again!" he said. He and Magnus realised at the same time that a very ugly femme with long blonde synthetic hair in plaits was jogging towards them and waving.
"Oooooh, DARLING~~!!" the femme trilled. She had on some sort of dress. And her, um, chest was lopsided and large. Magnus frowned, {That is one ugly femme. But if she wants Optimus, I might just let her through!}.
The femme was almost to the stage when Magnus cried out in horror. Then he shrieked in surprise. "Thats no femme, thats SPRINGER!" he yelled.
"Sweetie! I want you! Where's my Oppy boy?!" Springer blew a kiss and trotted up the stairs and bounced onto the stage. He planted a kiss on the facemask of a horrified Optimus Prime. The crowd that had just parted to let 'her' get past laughed uproariously. Most of them now knew the 'girl' wasn't a girl at all! Springer's strong thick legs and bulging arms were something of a give away.
"Take that crap off IMMEDIATELY, Springer! You're insubordinate!" Kup was yelling at the foot of the stage, waving his hands at the fake femme Springer. Springer blew him a kiss too.
The green triple changer was wearing a badly shaped floral dress with fake breasts, lipstick and a large fake blonde wig with two braided plaits, which swung down on either side of his face. Springer leant on Optimus' shoulder and pouted his lips. The crowd roared again. They loved it.
"Someone told me you were going to be mobbed and kidnapped by psychotic femmes. I thought I'd get in first," Springer blinked his optics lovingly at his poor victim. Optimus hadn't made an sort of reaction except to stare with horror. One of Springer's fake breasts suddenly popped and deflated. "Damn, lost a boob!" Springer cried and stared down at his chest, pretending to look heartbroken.
"MAGNUS!" Kup yelled, his face turning a darker grey by the astrosecond, "Get him off from there!"
Magnus couldn't get the grin off his face, "Kup, if he wants to be a cross- dresser, I'm not going to get in his way, alright?" he said, crossing his arms and shrugging.
"ARGGH!" Kup replied.
By now the crowd also contained other Autobots who were variously amused and aghast at Springer's strange appearance.
"Is this the type of femme he was scared of?" a laughing voice proclaimed behind Magnus. He turned around to see Elita One smirking and chuckling at Springer's get-up.
"Oooo yeah, I'd run from a femme like that too," Magnus agreed.
Optimus stood and shook hands with Springer, who again kissed his cheek. Optimus wryly removed some vibrant red lippy from his mask with the back of his hand, "Love the dress Springer. See First Aid about a proper female construction job for your chest," Optimus suggested. Then he looked askance at Elita standing next to Magnus, "Can I leave now?" he asked.
"It is time to go, we've been here a while," Ultra Magnus added.
Elita gave in, "Alright, I think we've done enough. Let's say thank you to Sandstorm and make our exit."
"Yes please... ugh....,"Optimus muttered.
*~*~*~*~*~*~* One more chapter to go. And yes, Optimus does encounter the mad girls from his fan club, no worries there. Ready for a 'Smokey and the Bandit' type car chase through Iacon central?? Coming up!
*
AUTHORS NOTE: If this story could get weirder or stupider, it just did!
Optimus Prime lifted his head from the autograph he was carefully signing and narrowed his optics. He looked across the packed-out hall from the small stage he was standing on. There was that noise again. A trilling keening sound. This was the second time he'd heard it.
"Magnus? What's that horrible noise?" Optimus asked his sub-commander who stood diligently behind him. Ultra Magnus was acting as bodyguard and jailer all at once. He felt stupid but he was way too worried about what Elita One would do to him if he (shock, horror!) disobeyed her orders.
"Mmm? What noise?" Magnus shook himself from the daze he had fallen into - the legacy of spending several Earth hours doing nothing more exciting than watching The Great Optimus Prime sign autographs and say 'Hi' to people.
The noise stopped.
Optimus tilted his head. "Oh. It's gone." He nodded at the next person in- line and bent to scrawl his signature.
"Uh huh," Magnus nodded and scratched the side of his cheek while looking disconsolately at the long snaking queue of people /aliens/ 'bots waiting to spend a few seconds with Optimus Prime.
Optimus was happy that he hadn't been targeted by crazed femmes. Yet. The weirdest females he'd met so far had only stood in front of him and stared at him with far away happy expressions. THAT he could handle.
The City Commander's attention was grabbed by what *looked* like a tall yellow haired beast making its way through the crowd. {An animal??} Magnus thought. An eager crowd of laughing and yelling people followed the thing. As it got closer Magnus realised 'it' seemed to be female. And metallic. {It looks like a femme,} Magnus mused. He bent his head forward and concentrated on the object.
A yell came from Magnus' left side. He looked up. Kup was pointing and yelling at the strange female. The female, whatever it was, started moving faster in the direction of Optimus and Magnus.
A trilling cry in a high-pitched out-of-tune girly voice caused Optimus' head to jerk up, "There's that noise again!" he said. He and Magnus realised at the same time that a very ugly femme with long blonde synthetic hair in plaits was jogging towards them and waving.
"Oooooh, DARLING~~!!" the femme trilled. She had on some sort of dress. And her, um, chest was lopsided and large. Magnus frowned, {That is one ugly femme. But if she wants Optimus, I might just let her through!}.
The femme was almost to the stage when Magnus cried out in horror. Then he shrieked in surprise. "Thats no femme, thats SPRINGER!" he yelled.
"Sweetie! I want you! Where's my Oppy boy?!" Springer blew a kiss and trotted up the stairs and bounced onto the stage. He planted a kiss on the facemask of a horrified Optimus Prime. The crowd that had just parted to let 'her' get past laughed uproariously. Most of them now knew the 'girl' wasn't a girl at all! Springer's strong thick legs and bulging arms were something of a give away.
"Take that crap off IMMEDIATELY, Springer! You're insubordinate!" Kup was yelling at the foot of the stage, waving his hands at the fake femme Springer. Springer blew him a kiss too.
The green triple changer was wearing a badly shaped floral dress with fake breasts, lipstick and a large fake blonde wig with two braided plaits, which swung down on either side of his face. Springer leant on Optimus' shoulder and pouted his lips. The crowd roared again. They loved it.
"Someone told me you were going to be mobbed and kidnapped by psychotic femmes. I thought I'd get in first," Springer blinked his optics lovingly at his poor victim. Optimus hadn't made an sort of reaction except to stare with horror. One of Springer's fake breasts suddenly popped and deflated. "Damn, lost a boob!" Springer cried and stared down at his chest, pretending to look heartbroken.
"MAGNUS!" Kup yelled, his face turning a darker grey by the astrosecond, "Get him off from there!"
Magnus couldn't get the grin off his face, "Kup, if he wants to be a cross- dresser, I'm not going to get in his way, alright?" he said, crossing his arms and shrugging.
"ARGGH!" Kup replied.
By now the crowd also contained other Autobots who were variously amused and aghast at Springer's strange appearance.
"Is this the type of femme he was scared of?" a laughing voice proclaimed behind Magnus. He turned around to see Elita One smirking and chuckling at Springer's get-up.
"Oooo yeah, I'd run from a femme like that too," Magnus agreed.
Optimus stood and shook hands with Springer, who again kissed his cheek. Optimus wryly removed some vibrant red lippy from his mask with the back of his hand, "Love the dress Springer. See First Aid about a proper female construction job for your chest," Optimus suggested. Then he looked askance at Elita standing next to Magnus, "Can I leave now?" he asked.
"It is time to go, we've been here a while," Ultra Magnus added.
Elita gave in, "Alright, I think we've done enough. Let's say thank you to Sandstorm and make our exit."
"Yes please... ugh....,"Optimus muttered.
*~*~*~*~*~*~* One more chapter to go. And yes, Optimus does encounter the mad girls from his fan club, no worries there. Ready for a 'Smokey and the Bandit' type car chase through Iacon central?? Coming up!
*