The pain of realisation.
I stayed with Pippin all night. I'd dressed his wounds and found a new shirt for him. I'd managed to clean him up a bit, too, but I still needed to find an excuse for his face being so bruised up. I couldn't get his adoption comment out of my head. I couldn't just take him away from everything he'd ever known. I wanted to so, so much, but I couldn't. The only other thing I was mainly concerned about was the fact of him telling me about these other hobbits. He'd opened up to me substantially over the last few hours, but I knew it wouldn't be long until he delved back into that place where he felt nothing but alone. I needed him to know that he was anything but. His eyes opened. He frowned and remained looking up to the ceiling before glancing over to me.
"Mer-" He started.
I nodded and smiled gently.
"Hullo, Pip." I answered.
He smiled vaguely and then frowned again.
"My whole body aches," He said softly.
I moved over to him and smiled gently.
"It'll pass. Today will be the worse day. Tomorrow it'll be better. It'll pass." I whispered.
I helped to drink some hawthorn tea. He settled back down against the pillows and sighed softly. I remained sitting on the edge of the bed until my mother came in. She seemed to have gotten over her little judgement of Pippin being some evil Hobbit who disturbed everyone and everything. I think she'd even uttered the words sorry. Still she smiled gently as she walked over to us.
"Pippin, sweetheart, I'm afraid I've got some bad news," She said softly.
Pippin looked to me quickly before looking back to his Aunt.
"Your father wants you back home. He's worried about you. Elissa will be here soon to collect you." She said.
I could tell my mother was sad to see Pippin go. She knew how lost he felt after the separation from his mother. He needed a mother-figure. He needed someone with soft motherly compassion teaching him the ways of life with a gentle manner. Elissa certainly was not that.
"Ma! He can't go back. Not yet." I protested.
My mother sighed and nodded.
"I know. I don't want you to go Pippin. I wish you could stay. What with Saradoc being away now for a few days I don't really have a place to say-"
"Well Merry does. Whilst Uncle's away, Merry takes his place." Pippin suddenly promoted.
I nodded.
"Yes, Pippin's right. Its up to me." I said letting sense and reason be shadowed by spitefulness.
Ma shook her head.
"Its up to his parents. Not his closet friend and cousin." She replied softly.
The moment the door opened Pippin tensed right up. I knew he was very nervous. Elissa smiled coldly at him-I noticed the way she looked at him. My mother offered her a drink. She refused and went straight to Pippin.
"You've made us all very worried." She said.
Pippin backed up, narrowing his eyes.
"Who do you mean by 'us'?" He questioned.
"Your father and me." She answered a surprised mock-tone in her voice.
Pippin shook his head.
"You don't give a damn about me, so there's no use lying." He replied.
I went to stop Pippin. I knew he'd get worked up. I knew there'd be an argument. One that wasn't needed. My mother grabbed my arm.
"Merry-he can't go back with her." She whispered.
I nodded.
"That's why I said I'd drop him off myself. Paladin knows that. I don't think Paladin even knows she's here. I think its all some sort of scheme she's playing." I remarked.
Elissa grabbed Pippin's arm roughly. He winced under the tenderness that resurfaced. He was still very much fragile from the fight.
"Stop being silly, now come on!" She said strictly.
Pippin wriggled out of her grasp. He backed up a little further and shook his head.
"I'm not going back with you!" He cried.
I walked over, my body shielding Pippin and looming in front of Elissa.
"I'll bring him home when he's ready. I've already arranged it with Paladin- this has nothing to do with you." I replied.
Elissa said nothing. One simple strike to my face were all the words she needed. I spun back that had been intensely strong. Whether it was because I wasn't expecting her to do it or maybe because she was quite a hefty Hobbit, but still it was enough to make my mother cry out-and cause an outburst with Pippin more so.
"You leave Merry alone!" He shouted.
His voice was shrill but commanding. Elissa glared at him. She then pulled him roughly by the hair and attempted to drag him towards the door. He was kicking and screaming all the way. He managed to squirm away from the second time and just as she reached out for him again he stumbled back, and as he fell, he accidentally booted her in the stomach. I knew he hadn't meant to do it-Pippin did not have a violent nature. He scrambled away and quickly darted behind me for coverage.
Elissa held her stomach and was coiled over for a few moments. She reigned her breath back and looked up at us slowly.
"You are on private property. You have no place here. Leave." My mother suddenly said.
I'd never heard my mother speak in such a tone. And the look she gave Elissa was that of steel. Elissa obeyed. She knew there was nothing for her here.
I turned to Pippin after watching her leave. He was sat with his back against the wall. Soft silent tears fell upon his cheeks. I knelt before him and cupped his face with my hands. He looked to me with such wholesome sadness and innocence that I knew he was so frightened and so distant from anything. I also knew he'd never felt such loss as confusion as he did then.
"Pippin, shh," I said softly.
"What am I going to do?" He asked, his voice tiny and trembling
My hands left his face and embraced his shoulders as I pulled him towards me. He buried his face in my shoulder and sobbed frantically into the nape of my neck.
"I'm so scared, Merry." He squeaked.
I felt my mother come to us. I looked up and let out a silent gasp as tears fell upon her cheeks also. We both seemed to agree on the same thing. We both seemed to know that if this wasn't sorted out-if things didn't start getting back to how they used to be, the truth in it was that we were going to lose Pippin.
I stayed with Pippin all night. I'd dressed his wounds and found a new shirt for him. I'd managed to clean him up a bit, too, but I still needed to find an excuse for his face being so bruised up. I couldn't get his adoption comment out of my head. I couldn't just take him away from everything he'd ever known. I wanted to so, so much, but I couldn't. The only other thing I was mainly concerned about was the fact of him telling me about these other hobbits. He'd opened up to me substantially over the last few hours, but I knew it wouldn't be long until he delved back into that place where he felt nothing but alone. I needed him to know that he was anything but. His eyes opened. He frowned and remained looking up to the ceiling before glancing over to me.
"Mer-" He started.
I nodded and smiled gently.
"Hullo, Pip." I answered.
He smiled vaguely and then frowned again.
"My whole body aches," He said softly.
I moved over to him and smiled gently.
"It'll pass. Today will be the worse day. Tomorrow it'll be better. It'll pass." I whispered.
I helped to drink some hawthorn tea. He settled back down against the pillows and sighed softly. I remained sitting on the edge of the bed until my mother came in. She seemed to have gotten over her little judgement of Pippin being some evil Hobbit who disturbed everyone and everything. I think she'd even uttered the words sorry. Still she smiled gently as she walked over to us.
"Pippin, sweetheart, I'm afraid I've got some bad news," She said softly.
Pippin looked to me quickly before looking back to his Aunt.
"Your father wants you back home. He's worried about you. Elissa will be here soon to collect you." She said.
I could tell my mother was sad to see Pippin go. She knew how lost he felt after the separation from his mother. He needed a mother-figure. He needed someone with soft motherly compassion teaching him the ways of life with a gentle manner. Elissa certainly was not that.
"Ma! He can't go back. Not yet." I protested.
My mother sighed and nodded.
"I know. I don't want you to go Pippin. I wish you could stay. What with Saradoc being away now for a few days I don't really have a place to say-"
"Well Merry does. Whilst Uncle's away, Merry takes his place." Pippin suddenly promoted.
I nodded.
"Yes, Pippin's right. Its up to me." I said letting sense and reason be shadowed by spitefulness.
Ma shook her head.
"Its up to his parents. Not his closet friend and cousin." She replied softly.
The moment the door opened Pippin tensed right up. I knew he was very nervous. Elissa smiled coldly at him-I noticed the way she looked at him. My mother offered her a drink. She refused and went straight to Pippin.
"You've made us all very worried." She said.
Pippin backed up, narrowing his eyes.
"Who do you mean by 'us'?" He questioned.
"Your father and me." She answered a surprised mock-tone in her voice.
Pippin shook his head.
"You don't give a damn about me, so there's no use lying." He replied.
I went to stop Pippin. I knew he'd get worked up. I knew there'd be an argument. One that wasn't needed. My mother grabbed my arm.
"Merry-he can't go back with her." She whispered.
I nodded.
"That's why I said I'd drop him off myself. Paladin knows that. I don't think Paladin even knows she's here. I think its all some sort of scheme she's playing." I remarked.
Elissa grabbed Pippin's arm roughly. He winced under the tenderness that resurfaced. He was still very much fragile from the fight.
"Stop being silly, now come on!" She said strictly.
Pippin wriggled out of her grasp. He backed up a little further and shook his head.
"I'm not going back with you!" He cried.
I walked over, my body shielding Pippin and looming in front of Elissa.
"I'll bring him home when he's ready. I've already arranged it with Paladin- this has nothing to do with you." I replied.
Elissa said nothing. One simple strike to my face were all the words she needed. I spun back that had been intensely strong. Whether it was because I wasn't expecting her to do it or maybe because she was quite a hefty Hobbit, but still it was enough to make my mother cry out-and cause an outburst with Pippin more so.
"You leave Merry alone!" He shouted.
His voice was shrill but commanding. Elissa glared at him. She then pulled him roughly by the hair and attempted to drag him towards the door. He was kicking and screaming all the way. He managed to squirm away from the second time and just as she reached out for him again he stumbled back, and as he fell, he accidentally booted her in the stomach. I knew he hadn't meant to do it-Pippin did not have a violent nature. He scrambled away and quickly darted behind me for coverage.
Elissa held her stomach and was coiled over for a few moments. She reigned her breath back and looked up at us slowly.
"You are on private property. You have no place here. Leave." My mother suddenly said.
I'd never heard my mother speak in such a tone. And the look she gave Elissa was that of steel. Elissa obeyed. She knew there was nothing for her here.
I turned to Pippin after watching her leave. He was sat with his back against the wall. Soft silent tears fell upon his cheeks. I knelt before him and cupped his face with my hands. He looked to me with such wholesome sadness and innocence that I knew he was so frightened and so distant from anything. I also knew he'd never felt such loss as confusion as he did then.
"Pippin, shh," I said softly.
"What am I going to do?" He asked, his voice tiny and trembling
My hands left his face and embraced his shoulders as I pulled him towards me. He buried his face in my shoulder and sobbed frantically into the nape of my neck.
"I'm so scared, Merry." He squeaked.
I felt my mother come to us. I looked up and let out a silent gasp as tears fell upon her cheeks also. We both seemed to agree on the same thing. We both seemed to know that if this wasn't sorted out-if things didn't start getting back to how they used to be, the truth in it was that we were going to lose Pippin.