A/N/ Sunsong: Thank you for reviewing! *rubs hands together in glee * All
in the name of the parody. Oh, if I ever get around to finishing this, I
may do an (in no particular order) Aragorn, Boromir, Frodo and/ or
Fellowship one. Oh, and the reviewers mentioned in this chapter bear no
resemblance (other than being reviewers) to you wonderful people.
Oh, by the way, for all you curious readers, Boromir is my Lust Object. I
just did Legolas because I'm sick of all the Legolas Mary-Sues.
Once again, [] stand for my various comments.
MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Once again people, evil laughter is FUN!
Disclaimer: Tolkien owns all of the semi-recognizable characters. The Mary- Sue belongs to whoever wants to claim her. (Just give me the blame, er, credit).
***********************************************
Anna Smith looked at all the reviews she'd gotten from her readers. [I've always wondered why the M-S's get the most reviews, must be some dastardly plot on the part of all the M-S writers.] There was 'Lik, kewl! Pls, pls, Pls ConTinuE' from ArGONiskewl. There was 'woa, ur stori is incredibl!' That one was from LegolsisCVUTE. The only flaw (as far as the esteeméd Miss Smith was concerned) [major sarcasm there] in the dozen or so glowing reviews was the one from Eternally_Correct. 'As far as blatant Mary- Sueishness and undeniably horrendous plotting is concerned, your story may take the prize. I have not had the horror of reading such an utterly disgusting and pointless fic in years.' Not that Anna understood half the words used in the review, but she understood the gist. Bristling with, no doubt, righteous indignation, she immediately dashed off a flame on one of Eternally_Correct's stories. 'This story, liked, sucked! How could you even think that, like, Aragorn would name his son anything as sissyish as Eldarion! Who would, like, do something that rotten to his kid? This story, sucks! Why couldn't you have written in English! I don't know what, like, language you wrote your story in, but it wasn't, like, English.' After answering that flame, Anna decided to continue with her story.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Hi y'all! I'm, like, back! ( I have no idea where I got my heroine's name from, but I like it! [muffled giggle is heard] What was that sound? Never mind, it's, like, gone now.
Since I forgot to describe Imahorewen earlier, here's like, what she looks like. She has long flaming red hair that goes down to her feet and beautiful, clear, emerald eyes. She normally wears a light green dress with gold patterns. [I didn't have the stomach to type a longer description.] ~~~~~~~~~~
Imahorewen stared at the elf. She didn't remember what Thranduil looked like at all, so, if this was, like Thranduil, this marriage couldn't be all bad. She almost fainted when the elf reached her side. Clearly captivated by her beauty, his eyes, gray as the sea, bored into her forest green ones.
[Okay, don't ask me what garbage heap I'm pulling this from. If I can stand typing it, you can stand reading it. Oh, I have no idea where Anna is finding her vocabulary. Then again, inconsistency is one of the main characteristics of a Mary-Sue and her author.]
"Whoa, you're so beautiful.I mean, my name is Legolas, son of Thranduil, King of Mirkwood. I am the Crown Prince of Mirkwood. My dad sent me to bring you to him ASAP."
[As I said earlier, 'don't ask me what dung heap I'm pulling this from. If I can stand typing it, you can stand reading it. Oh, I have no idea where Anna is finding her vocabulary. Then again, inconsistency is one of the main characteristics of a Mary-Sue and her author. ' Keep repeating that under your breath. * rubs hands together in glee* Don't worry, I have Ideas as to saving this story.and Anna Smith from the PPC. Oh, the PPC is free to work on the both of them. If they should happen to come across this fic.Have fun! I'm not going to have Anna type "like" every third word or so, too much work.]
Imahorewen dreamily answered. "Oh, ok." Naturally put into a stupor by this elf's incredible good looks.
[I can't believe I'm typing this.put it this way, my private nickname for Legolas is "Barbie-Elf-Boy" as inspired by Thalia Weaver *dodges bullets and various other missiles *]
The two of them rode off to Thranduil's palace. Imahorewen's joy at being accompanied by the Crown Prince was only marred by the fact that several ravens deliberately pooped on her.
[Hey, ravens are extremely intelligent birds. I like them. Oh, I have no idea where the MS's escort drabbled off to.so Sue me. ;D]
Once at Thranduil's palace, Imahorewen was immediately made over by as many male and female elves as her heart could desire. Once cleaned, primped and with her hair done up, she descended from her apartments to the Grand Hall. Her stately entrance was only marred by the fact that she tripped over both her robes and hair, landing in the arms of Thranduil's mistress. Unsurprisingly insulted, she launched into a tirade (and a whole new octave) that basically denounced Legolas for failing to catch her. Imahorewen then realized whose arms she'd landed in, and kicked Thranduil's mistress in the shins. Thranduil's mistress, unsurprisingly (to all save Imahorewen) retaliated by pulling Imahorewen's hair, leading to more bodily harm on both their parts, finally ending in a food fight in which the elven courtiers, frozen statue-like by the shock of the Mary-Sue's conduct until mentioned by the author in this very sentence, gleefully took part.
~~~~~~~
Anna looked at what she'd typed. "Hey, that wasn't what I'd meant to happen at all!" The greatly esteemed Miss Smith proceeded to retype.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Once at Thranduil's palace, Imahorewen was immediately made over by as many male and female elves as her heart could desire. Thranduil seemed horrified by the Mary-Sue that had popped up on his doorstep. He left her alone. Unluckily (for them) none of the other elves understood the horror that had been unleashed in Mirkwood. Once cleaned, primped and with her hair done up, she descended from her apartments to the Grand Hall. Elven courtiers whispered behind their fans, as she descended with beforehand- unknown grace. Thranduil's former mistress spitefully stuck out her leg and tripped her. Imahorewen started to fall, but was thankfully caught by Legolas. Asorenjara, Thranduil's former mistress was immediately shooed out of the hall by Thranduil's guard as the various elven courtiers whispered in shock at this disgraceful conduct by one of their own. What would the king of Middle-Earthland think? He might declare war on them!
[For accidentally-on-purpose getting rid of his M-S of a daughter? You should live so long!]
Thankfully, Imahorewen appeared to disregard this insult. The Elves gradually relaxed, as the banquet proceeded. Thranduil was becoming more drunk by the hour.
[I hate typing this. Believe it or not, I happen to like Thranduil as a character. Ah well, all in the interests of a good parody.]
Legolas whispered to Imagorewen, "Lady, you should leave now. My dad doesn't exactly watch whatever he's saying when he's drinking." Close to fainting from his nearness, Imahorewen agreed. To the ring of the increasingly indecent toasts proposed by Thranduil, the two elves exited.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anna: So, did y'all like it? Review and I'll give you a cookie! But I'll only update for like, 200/ more.
*************
A/N: I can't believe my stomach lasted through typing that! Ugh! Now, for the real ending to Thranduil's banquet..
Thranduil, who had only been pretending to be drunk, happily watched from the corner of his eye as his son escorted the wench from the room to the territory of the giant spiders. The nerve of that girl! Pretending to be betrothed to him.and princess from a fictitious country! Did the denizens of Middle Earth truly think him that gullible? He must talk with Galadriel and Elrond. Something odd was going on.and he distinctly disliked it. He only disliked it because it was not worth his hatred.
****
2nd A/N: Much as I wish that I could actually write this into the story.hmm, why don't you tell me if this should be the actual ending to my parody. If you want me to continue torturing the denizens of Mirkwood, review and let me know! Either way, I want a review! Please?
Disclaimer: Tolkien owns all of the semi-recognizable characters. The Mary- Sue belongs to whoever wants to claim her. (Just give me the blame, er, credit).
***********************************************
Anna Smith looked at all the reviews she'd gotten from her readers. [I've always wondered why the M-S's get the most reviews, must be some dastardly plot on the part of all the M-S writers.] There was 'Lik, kewl! Pls, pls, Pls ConTinuE' from ArGONiskewl. There was 'woa, ur stori is incredibl!' That one was from LegolsisCVUTE. The only flaw (as far as the esteeméd Miss Smith was concerned) [major sarcasm there] in the dozen or so glowing reviews was the one from Eternally_Correct. 'As far as blatant Mary- Sueishness and undeniably horrendous plotting is concerned, your story may take the prize. I have not had the horror of reading such an utterly disgusting and pointless fic in years.' Not that Anna understood half the words used in the review, but she understood the gist. Bristling with, no doubt, righteous indignation, she immediately dashed off a flame on one of Eternally_Correct's stories. 'This story, liked, sucked! How could you even think that, like, Aragorn would name his son anything as sissyish as Eldarion! Who would, like, do something that rotten to his kid? This story, sucks! Why couldn't you have written in English! I don't know what, like, language you wrote your story in, but it wasn't, like, English.' After answering that flame, Anna decided to continue with her story.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Hi y'all! I'm, like, back! ( I have no idea where I got my heroine's name from, but I like it! [muffled giggle is heard] What was that sound? Never mind, it's, like, gone now.
Since I forgot to describe Imahorewen earlier, here's like, what she looks like. She has long flaming red hair that goes down to her feet and beautiful, clear, emerald eyes. She normally wears a light green dress with gold patterns. [I didn't have the stomach to type a longer description.] ~~~~~~~~~~
Imahorewen stared at the elf. She didn't remember what Thranduil looked like at all, so, if this was, like Thranduil, this marriage couldn't be all bad. She almost fainted when the elf reached her side. Clearly captivated by her beauty, his eyes, gray as the sea, bored into her forest green ones.
[Okay, don't ask me what garbage heap I'm pulling this from. If I can stand typing it, you can stand reading it. Oh, I have no idea where Anna is finding her vocabulary. Then again, inconsistency is one of the main characteristics of a Mary-Sue and her author.]
"Whoa, you're so beautiful.I mean, my name is Legolas, son of Thranduil, King of Mirkwood. I am the Crown Prince of Mirkwood. My dad sent me to bring you to him ASAP."
[As I said earlier, 'don't ask me what dung heap I'm pulling this from. If I can stand typing it, you can stand reading it. Oh, I have no idea where Anna is finding her vocabulary. Then again, inconsistency is one of the main characteristics of a Mary-Sue and her author. ' Keep repeating that under your breath. * rubs hands together in glee* Don't worry, I have Ideas as to saving this story.and Anna Smith from the PPC. Oh, the PPC is free to work on the both of them. If they should happen to come across this fic.Have fun! I'm not going to have Anna type "like" every third word or so, too much work.]
Imahorewen dreamily answered. "Oh, ok." Naturally put into a stupor by this elf's incredible good looks.
[I can't believe I'm typing this.put it this way, my private nickname for Legolas is "Barbie-Elf-Boy" as inspired by Thalia Weaver *dodges bullets and various other missiles *]
The two of them rode off to Thranduil's palace. Imahorewen's joy at being accompanied by the Crown Prince was only marred by the fact that several ravens deliberately pooped on her.
[Hey, ravens are extremely intelligent birds. I like them. Oh, I have no idea where the MS's escort drabbled off to.so Sue me. ;D]
Once at Thranduil's palace, Imahorewen was immediately made over by as many male and female elves as her heart could desire. Once cleaned, primped and with her hair done up, she descended from her apartments to the Grand Hall. Her stately entrance was only marred by the fact that she tripped over both her robes and hair, landing in the arms of Thranduil's mistress. Unsurprisingly insulted, she launched into a tirade (and a whole new octave) that basically denounced Legolas for failing to catch her. Imahorewen then realized whose arms she'd landed in, and kicked Thranduil's mistress in the shins. Thranduil's mistress, unsurprisingly (to all save Imahorewen) retaliated by pulling Imahorewen's hair, leading to more bodily harm on both their parts, finally ending in a food fight in which the elven courtiers, frozen statue-like by the shock of the Mary-Sue's conduct until mentioned by the author in this very sentence, gleefully took part.
~~~~~~~
Anna looked at what she'd typed. "Hey, that wasn't what I'd meant to happen at all!" The greatly esteemed Miss Smith proceeded to retype.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Once at Thranduil's palace, Imahorewen was immediately made over by as many male and female elves as her heart could desire. Thranduil seemed horrified by the Mary-Sue that had popped up on his doorstep. He left her alone. Unluckily (for them) none of the other elves understood the horror that had been unleashed in Mirkwood. Once cleaned, primped and with her hair done up, she descended from her apartments to the Grand Hall. Elven courtiers whispered behind their fans, as she descended with beforehand- unknown grace. Thranduil's former mistress spitefully stuck out her leg and tripped her. Imahorewen started to fall, but was thankfully caught by Legolas. Asorenjara, Thranduil's former mistress was immediately shooed out of the hall by Thranduil's guard as the various elven courtiers whispered in shock at this disgraceful conduct by one of their own. What would the king of Middle-Earthland think? He might declare war on them!
[For accidentally-on-purpose getting rid of his M-S of a daughter? You should live so long!]
Thankfully, Imahorewen appeared to disregard this insult. The Elves gradually relaxed, as the banquet proceeded. Thranduil was becoming more drunk by the hour.
[I hate typing this. Believe it or not, I happen to like Thranduil as a character. Ah well, all in the interests of a good parody.]
Legolas whispered to Imagorewen, "Lady, you should leave now. My dad doesn't exactly watch whatever he's saying when he's drinking." Close to fainting from his nearness, Imahorewen agreed. To the ring of the increasingly indecent toasts proposed by Thranduil, the two elves exited.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anna: So, did y'all like it? Review and I'll give you a cookie! But I'll only update for like, 200/ more.
*************
A/N: I can't believe my stomach lasted through typing that! Ugh! Now, for the real ending to Thranduil's banquet..
Thranduil, who had only been pretending to be drunk, happily watched from the corner of his eye as his son escorted the wench from the room to the territory of the giant spiders. The nerve of that girl! Pretending to be betrothed to him.and princess from a fictitious country! Did the denizens of Middle Earth truly think him that gullible? He must talk with Galadriel and Elrond. Something odd was going on.and he distinctly disliked it. He only disliked it because it was not worth his hatred.
****
2nd A/N: Much as I wish that I could actually write this into the story.hmm, why don't you tell me if this should be the actual ending to my parody. If you want me to continue torturing the denizens of Mirkwood, review and let me know! Either way, I want a review! Please?