A/N: I decided that, since this is a parody, I might make things a little
more difficult . . . Note: this and the next chapter deal with the various
points of view of the Fellowship members, as well as some various important
Beings, before Anna and I join them, of course. Remember, this is a
parody, explaining why this and the next chapter need to occur.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Elrond raised his goblet somewhat ironically. "To us, and to the hope that this venture succeeds." The various beings hidden away in his wine cellar raised their glasses and drank. It was good wine, dating all the way from the year of the Last Alliance, a fitting vintage for this council of the Fellowship, its owner mused.
Due to the fact that various strange and unearthly females had kept turning up all over the place and moving the Fellowship back to Rivendell, the Fellowship had never gotten past Caradhras before the female in question vanished, and they suddenly reappeared in Rivendell with a new female. Unfortunately, the lines they spoke and the events that happened along the way kept changing. There was also the fact that Legolas and Aragorn had not gotten more than one night of complete sleep in the last few months. Both Arwen and Thranduil had loudly objected. Elrond was not sure which was worse. For all that his daughter could reach a higher octave (and a whole new one as well), Thranduil could be bitingly, cleverly, sarcastic.
The bearers of the Three Elven Rings felt that there were two possible explanations as to why Sauron had not yet attacked. One was that he too, was not above the strange powers of these unearthly females, and so he too was being bumped back to the time of the council. The second explanation was that he was laughing his cornea off at the predicament of the various Elvenlords. The second explanation was thought the more likely. Of course, there was a third explanation given by Celeborn.
That went something along the lines of ". . .Sauron doesn't exist as a Dark Lord anymore. One of those strange females who was claiming to be his daughter visited him and convinced him he could harm Middle-Earth more by becoming a politician." Most of the Elves decided to overlook this sudden madness upon the part of the Lord of the Galadhrim. Being in most respects completely sane, this was overlooked as eccentricity and hidden from all beings that were not Eldar, Valar or Maiar. This meant that when visitors came to Lothlorien, Galadriel dominated the conversations, lest her Lord put forth his strange view. When pressed by The Middle Earth Journal, "printed in both Quenya and Sindarin!" she declined to comment.
The Middle Earth Journal was unfortunately started by one of the strange females who had not disappeared. She ran away when they reached Caradhras, yelling something about "cold! This wasn't supposed to be cold!" At least before she ran away, Aragorn had managed to disabuse her of the notion that she was his foster-father's second daughter.
Annoyingly enough, there was also a fourth version put forth by Glorfindel. Much as he normally appreciated the Lord's odd sense of humor, Elrond found it hard to believe that this was all some diabolical ploy by the one called Gollum. Glorfindel believed that it ran along the lines off "if I can't have it, you can't have it either!" (It sounds much more polite in Sindarin.) Enough musing. Elrond decided that it was past time to start.
"Now, as you know, the Ring has never been able to be taken past Caradhras."
Boromir muttered something amounting to "and we're all dying to see what happens next." Pippin rolled his eyes. Merry poked him in the ribs. It quickly degenerated from there. Elrond decided to ignore both the interruption and argument.
"Since we all wish to be sure the Ring will be destroyed soon - put it back inside your shirt, Frodo, you're making Boromir nervous- I have come up with a plan." The Lord of Imladris took a map out from a tunic pocket and spread it on a table. The members of the Fellowship, as well as Bilbo, crowded around. Arwen had heard her father go over it the night before with Glorfindel. She also was trying to finish her embroidery that unaccountably became undone the moment the Fellowship reappeared in Rivendell. Merry and Pippin were still poking each other in the ribs. Sam solved the problem by banging their heads together. Elrond, meanwhile, was pointing to his map
" . . . This involves several risky elements, but hopefully, once completed, the Quest will be done. You shall each have a role to play." Elrond handed out rolls of parchment, each labeled neatly in the Feanorian characters. Various people began to moan, most notably Legolas. However, Arwen was not far behind. Elrond could guess why she had winced; however, he had attached appendixes to all the parchments, detailing various likely spots for the next female to go "missing." Very soon the groans changed to grins as members of the Fellowship understood precisely why they were supposed to play their role . . . and how to go about it . . .
Pippin passed out. Merry started to "Tsk" at him, and then passed out as well. Sam looked at them, and then looked at his and Mister Frodo's glasses. The goblets were empty.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Anna: Hmm? Legolas, mmmmmmmmmm.
*********************
Sunsong: So, any ideas? If none, you can review all the same. I doubt Anna's lifespan will be for longer than the duration of this quest. . . When do you think I should kill her off?
Ps. The Middle Earth Journal is the property of Thalia Weaver. I.O.W. (In Other Words), Thalia owns the copyright.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Elrond raised his goblet somewhat ironically. "To us, and to the hope that this venture succeeds." The various beings hidden away in his wine cellar raised their glasses and drank. It was good wine, dating all the way from the year of the Last Alliance, a fitting vintage for this council of the Fellowship, its owner mused.
Due to the fact that various strange and unearthly females had kept turning up all over the place and moving the Fellowship back to Rivendell, the Fellowship had never gotten past Caradhras before the female in question vanished, and they suddenly reappeared in Rivendell with a new female. Unfortunately, the lines they spoke and the events that happened along the way kept changing. There was also the fact that Legolas and Aragorn had not gotten more than one night of complete sleep in the last few months. Both Arwen and Thranduil had loudly objected. Elrond was not sure which was worse. For all that his daughter could reach a higher octave (and a whole new one as well), Thranduil could be bitingly, cleverly, sarcastic.
The bearers of the Three Elven Rings felt that there were two possible explanations as to why Sauron had not yet attacked. One was that he too, was not above the strange powers of these unearthly females, and so he too was being bumped back to the time of the council. The second explanation was that he was laughing his cornea off at the predicament of the various Elvenlords. The second explanation was thought the more likely. Of course, there was a third explanation given by Celeborn.
That went something along the lines of ". . .Sauron doesn't exist as a Dark Lord anymore. One of those strange females who was claiming to be his daughter visited him and convinced him he could harm Middle-Earth more by becoming a politician." Most of the Elves decided to overlook this sudden madness upon the part of the Lord of the Galadhrim. Being in most respects completely sane, this was overlooked as eccentricity and hidden from all beings that were not Eldar, Valar or Maiar. This meant that when visitors came to Lothlorien, Galadriel dominated the conversations, lest her Lord put forth his strange view. When pressed by The Middle Earth Journal, "printed in both Quenya and Sindarin!" she declined to comment.
The Middle Earth Journal was unfortunately started by one of the strange females who had not disappeared. She ran away when they reached Caradhras, yelling something about "cold! This wasn't supposed to be cold!" At least before she ran away, Aragorn had managed to disabuse her of the notion that she was his foster-father's second daughter.
Annoyingly enough, there was also a fourth version put forth by Glorfindel. Much as he normally appreciated the Lord's odd sense of humor, Elrond found it hard to believe that this was all some diabolical ploy by the one called Gollum. Glorfindel believed that it ran along the lines off "if I can't have it, you can't have it either!" (It sounds much more polite in Sindarin.) Enough musing. Elrond decided that it was past time to start.
"Now, as you know, the Ring has never been able to be taken past Caradhras."
Boromir muttered something amounting to "and we're all dying to see what happens next." Pippin rolled his eyes. Merry poked him in the ribs. It quickly degenerated from there. Elrond decided to ignore both the interruption and argument.
"Since we all wish to be sure the Ring will be destroyed soon - put it back inside your shirt, Frodo, you're making Boromir nervous- I have come up with a plan." The Lord of Imladris took a map out from a tunic pocket and spread it on a table. The members of the Fellowship, as well as Bilbo, crowded around. Arwen had heard her father go over it the night before with Glorfindel. She also was trying to finish her embroidery that unaccountably became undone the moment the Fellowship reappeared in Rivendell. Merry and Pippin were still poking each other in the ribs. Sam solved the problem by banging their heads together. Elrond, meanwhile, was pointing to his map
" . . . This involves several risky elements, but hopefully, once completed, the Quest will be done. You shall each have a role to play." Elrond handed out rolls of parchment, each labeled neatly in the Feanorian characters. Various people began to moan, most notably Legolas. However, Arwen was not far behind. Elrond could guess why she had winced; however, he had attached appendixes to all the parchments, detailing various likely spots for the next female to go "missing." Very soon the groans changed to grins as members of the Fellowship understood precisely why they were supposed to play their role . . . and how to go about it . . .
Pippin passed out. Merry started to "Tsk" at him, and then passed out as well. Sam looked at them, and then looked at his and Mister Frodo's glasses. The goblets were empty.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Anna: Hmm? Legolas, mmmmmmmmmm.
*********************
Sunsong: So, any ideas? If none, you can review all the same. I doubt Anna's lifespan will be for longer than the duration of this quest. . . When do you think I should kill her off?
Ps. The Middle Earth Journal is the property of Thalia Weaver. I.O.W. (In Other Words), Thalia owns the copyright.