***
Author's Note: Thanks to all my reviewers but especially to my very first flamer, Catgal, who even admitted to never reading the story. I would just like to use the words of one of my favourite writers to say, "There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written." – (The Picture of Dorian Gray ((1891)) preface.) If you don't like the way I write, fine, but at least have the decency to educate yourself about the facts in the first place.
Me... Bitter?
Abinikai; I thank you for betaing my ever increasing chapters and I promise I will try to repay you some day... maybe a short fic, (don't bet on it), or a pot of wet noodles!
Queen P; bigger, longer and uncut. Just the way you like them.
***
Sirius pushed open the painting, masking the doorway to the Gryffindor Tower, and stepped into the hallway. At last! It was only half eight, but he knew if he didn't take this chance to get out of the tower unnoticed, another might not come. James and Lily had disappeared after dinner, no doubt they had their own Valentine celebrations planned, and Remus had made his excuses over an hour ago, saying he needed to go to the library.
It had been harder than Sirius thought to get away from Peter. The other boy didn't like to be left on his own, but there was nothing Sirius could do. He had waited all day for this, whatever this was, and now it was only thirty minutes away.
Should he run? He thought to himself, maybe not. It wasn't past curfew and it would seem even more suspicious if he started sprinting through the corridors of Hogwarts for no apparent reason. He didn't feel like explaining to any professors, or even Filch for that matter, what had him in such a hurry. Even so, his step was quick as he made his way towards the large marble staircase.
Remus had just told him to come to the fifth floor corridor, but where? Sirius thought as he took the first steps down the staircase in one bound. Slow down, he told himself squarely, you've got half an hour yet.
"Mr. Black," a voice rang through the corridor behind Sirius. He turned to meet the penetrating eyes of his Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. She was gazing at him through thin black glasses, "I was just making my way to the Gryffindor Tower to find you."
"Professor?" Sirius asked, in his most innocent voice. It didn't work. She lowered her eyes on his. Sirius felt like she was looking directly into his soul. He moved uneasily.
"If you would care to follow me, please." She said decisively, and began to make her way down the large staircase. Sirius kicked himself inside. He would have taken James's cloak, but he had been sure he would be safe. He scoured his brain, wondering why he had to be summoned so late to a professor's office.
Professor Amicitia Lentus was one of the few teachers who Sirius respected in the school. She was harsh like Professor McGonagall, and rarely showed any House favouritism, although he was sure he'd seen a smile on her face when Gryffindor won the house cup last year. Time spent in her office, which was undoubtedly where they where headed, usually ended with Sirius getting a stern talking to and a week of detentions.
Well, he reasoned, I've still got half an hour.
When they finally reached Professor Lentus's office on the second floor it was twenty to nine. Come on, Sirius thought, just give me detention for whatever I did, and let me go.
"Please take a seat," the professor said, as she indicated one in front of her desk. She took her own seat, and laced her fingers together before placing them on the table. Her golden-brown hair caught the last of the dying sunlight from outside the window, as it bounced off the lake, and her crimson teachers' robes complimented her fair skin. The room was packed with pieces of parchment; huge leather bound books and jars with an assortment of herbs, roots, and small creatures inside. Sirius had been here many times before. "I was hoping you could answer some questions for me, Sirius."
Sirius winced, she only called him by his first name when he was in real trouble.
"Anything I can help you with." Sirius offered, but shut up quickly when Professor Lentus gave him a stern look to rival any of McGonagall's.
"You know what a Recessus Rope is, Sirius?" She asked pointedly.
"Yes, Professor." Sirius calmly answered. She looked at him to continue. "Um, it is a cord, first used by the Omani wizards to silence the dying wails of the Muscat Manticore."
Professor Lentus raised her eyebrows in concurrence. "Your knowledge on the subject is impressive, Mr. Black," she said. Sirius allowed himself to breathe. They were back to surnames. "Do you also know that a Recussus Rope was taken from my office nearly a month ago." Oh Shit! "It was found fastened around the ankle of Severus Snape with quite a strong Binding Spell." Oh Shit!
"Professor?" innocence again.
"It is not hard to figure out what happened, Sirius." The Professor raised her eyebrows to look at Sirius with direct accusation. "Especially for someone trained in how to detect guilty behaviour!"
Sirius opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again.
"Do I have to explain to you how serious this is, Sirius." She pressed. "This prank is beyond simple youthful foolery. Mr. Snape was robbed of a basic right to communicate. He was pushed into an internalised prison of his own thoughts." She was getting increasingly agitated. "A Recessus Rope does not just silence the victim; it forces their own thoughts back onto themselves. It forces the victim to listen to every hated word, and spiteful experience they have ever had. Can you even imagine what that is like, Mr. Black?"
Sirius stared wide-eyed at the professor. He hadn't known it would do that. He thought it was just like a Silencing Charm.
Don't say a thing Black, he told himself; if you don't say anything they can't prove you guilty.
Professor and student sat in silence as the minutes ticked by.
Eventually, Professor Lentus sighed heavily and took off her glasses. She looked at him again, and he could see the weariness in her eyes.
"Is there any point in giving you another detention, Sirius?" Professor Lentus asked. "This year alone, I've given you more detentions than most students would get their entire school life."
"I'm sorry, Professor." Sirius said looking down at his hands, and he really meant it. Professor Lentus was a brilliant teacher, more than that, she actually liked teaching and her classes always edged on the dangerous.
"I just –" She paused momentarily, seemingly contemplating what to say. "You're a good student, Sirius," she said honestly, "brilliant even, but you get distracted so easily." She lowered her head again, and contemplated the situation. "Is there anything – you would like to talk about?"
"No, Professor." Sirius answered quickly, without looking up.
"Sirius, you," she stopped, "Sirius, look at me!" He raised his eyes and met her gaze. She held it for a moment before continuing. "You're going to leave Hogwarts in a few months, and I'd like to think I educated you in more than just how to defend yourself. The things you're doing now – well –" she shook her head disappointedly. "They're nothing more than schoolboy pranks, and you are not a child anymore, you're a young man. You're going into the real world, and it's a very dangerous world. Tricks like this one... they will do you no good."
God, this is worse then detention, Sirius thought, I'd take a punishment rather than this any day.
"I don't pretend to know what goes on in the mind of a seventeen year old male," Professor Lentus counselled, a small smile played on her lips, "but if you ever need to talk." She left the rest unsaid, but the invitation hung in the air nonetheless.
"Yes, Professor." Sirius answered, and she held his gaze for a moment longer before putting back on her glasses.
"Okay, off you go." She said with a wave off her hand. Sirius stared at her in disbelief, no detention! "Go!" she pushed, "before I decide to grant Mr Filch's wish to string up a few students." She raised her head. "I believe you are top of the list."
Sirius got out of the chair and opened the door.
"Oh, and Mr. Black," She called. Sirius turned again. "If you feel the need to – borrow – any more items, please ask me first. I get upset when my things just go missing." She smiled. "Of course, some of them do have legs of their own, but still..."
Sirius nodded, and with a quick flourish of her hand, Professor Lentus dismissed the Gryffindor.
"Bloody hell!" Sirius exhaled, after he closed the door behind him. He took a quick look at his watch, one of the few Muggle items he had bought over the summer, it was five to nine. Sirius groaned, it would take at least ten minutes to get to the fifth floor corridor.
He set out at a sprint.
***
"Where the hell have you been?" Remus demanded, as Sirius came panting around the corner. Sirius bent double in front of Remus, and held onto his knees as he tried to get his breath back. Panting, he held up his hand, indicating Remus should give him just a minute before he would be able talk, then lowered his head again.
"Professor – Lentus," Sirius panted, "Recessus Rope," was the only explanation he managed.
"Oh God," Remus replied in dread, "How many points this time?" Sirius shook his head and still panting, stood up straight, a big sweaty grin plastered across his face.
"In the clear." He breathed out, moving seductively towards Remus. "Must be my – animal magnetism." He said as he whipped an arm around Remus's waist, and pulled him closer, into a languid kiss.
"Oh god, you're all hot," Remus said as they pulled apart. "I mean sweaty." he added, as Sirius raised his eyebrows.
"Well, you were the one who wanted to meet here," Sirius said, "I couldn't exactly nip back for a shower." Remus smiled mysteriously at these words. "What?" Sirius asked.
"Come with me." Remus replied, as he took Sirius's hand. They walked down the corridor, passed a statue of a confused looking wizard. "Lemon Sparkle." Remus muttered to an inconspicuous looking door a few feet from the statue.
"What are you doing?" Sirius wondered, not recognising the password or where they were going.
"Shh," Remus said, placing his finger softly on Sirius's lips. "Close your eyes." He commanded, and with an unsure last look, Sirius complied.
He heard a door crack open, and he was pulled through it before Remus's hands left his skin. Sirius heard the sound of a bolt being pulled across reach his ears. Next Remus cast a locking charm. Just like him, Sirius thought, always back it up. Then Remus's hands were on him again, and they turned him around, before kissing him quickly on the lips.
"Can I open my eyes now?" Sirius asked, feeling kind of ridiculous.
"Umm, yeah." Remus replied.
When Sirius opened his eyes, the only thing he could do was gasp. This place was amazing! A huge chandelier hung from the ceiling, carrying at least a hundred candles, which sent their warm glow splashing across the white marble walls and floor. In the middle of the floor in font of him, was a swimming pool filled to the brim with foaming coloured water. It was surrounded by highly decorated gold taps.
"Oh my God, Remus," Sirius gaped. "This is beautiful."
"I know," Remus whispered, his lips ghosting across Sirius's collarbone.
"How come we never found it before?"
"Well one of us did!" Remus explained. "It's the prefects' bathroom." Sirius turned and stared at Remus.
"You kept this to yourself?" Sirius said, surprised. "How could you do that, Moony?"
"James would have known about it, too." Remus continued. "Guess where Lily and he kept disappearing to all last year?" Remus said with a grin.
Sirius looked around again.
"I don't blame them." Sirius eyes finally fell back onto the pool in front of them. "Are we getting in then?" he asked.
"Not quite yet." Remus replied as he took Sirius's hand in his and drew his body closer. "I've been waiting for this all day." He said, before pushing his lips against Sirius's.
Sweet hallelujah, Sirius thought as he felt that warm pleasing taste that was so perfectly Remus rushing into his mouth. Remus's hand reached up to the nape of Sirius neck and jerked him even closer. Their tongues were fighting each other viciously for supremacy. Their bodies already electrified by being so close to each other.
Remus began walking backwards, guiding the two of them blindly around the pool. Sirius could feel himself getting harder as they reached the centre of the room. The anticipation, the closeness of Remus's body, the intoxicating aroma in the bathroom, just added to his need. He was pressed against Remus's hips and he just wanted to be naked. Naked with Remus.
Finally, Remus pulled away, slowly biting Sirius's flushed lower lip as he did. God, I need you, Sirius thought, I need you! Their foreheads rested against each others' for a moment. Each breathing heavily.
"Stay." Was all Remus panted, before slowly backing away from Sirius who could feel himself already dizzy with pleasure; his erection was throbbing to be relieved. Remus kept his eyes trained on Sirius. As he reached the other wall, he dropped himself down onto the soft bench. Sirius's body was undulating as waves of impatient pleasure begged to be released, but Remus just sat, and stared hungrily at his lover.
"Remus." Sirius begged as he started towards Remus, but halted when Remus raised his hand in command. That's a good dog, Sirius thought as he clenched his hands against his sides in a lax attempt to contain himself, do as master tells you.
Remus lowered his hand, crossed his legs and rested it on his lap.
"Strip." Remus said in a predatory manner.
"What?" Sirius asked in a spark of panic, as he stared at Remus.
"Strip." Remus repeated, his tone lower this time, but the grasping of his voice reached Sirius.
"Remus, I -"
"Strip!" Remus ordered, as a flash of feral dominance glinted in his eyes.
Sirius met those eyes and knew he had to do it. Remus demanded it of him. He felt awkward, and tall, and not very sexy, but as Remus looked at him, he could feel his blood begin to swell inside of him. His lips were dry, and his head spun as the blood drained from all but the most important areas of his body.
As he stood there, Sirius thought back to nights when it had just been him. When he had been the only one touching his own body, pleasing himself. He brought his hand up his chest towards his neck. He could feel the ripples of anticipation under his clothes. His eyes were locked with Remus's, imagining it was his lover's hands exploring his body; imagining his touch toying with his flesh. Sirius pushed his fingers under the neck of his robes, and grasped his own shoulder, pulling the tight flesh with his touch. He dragged his hand as far down his chest as his robes would allow, exposing the top of his body to Remus. With his other hand he started to undo the button on his robe, his teeth biting into his lower lip, tongue smearing it with moist wetness. He was managing to control himself... just!
As one hand undid his buttons, the other travelled up through his hair and down the back of his neck, finally moving around his collar and lifting his chin to expose the soft white flesh just where the neck joined the collarbone. He ran his fingers languidly along the bone, scraping his nails on the flesh, and causing it to rage red against him. He brought his fingers lazily up the soft skin, and along his jaw until he finally took his index finger in to the warm of his mouth; teasing it as he had done to Remus that first night. It was getting to Remus; Sirius knew it. He saw Remus gripping the seat of his chair with his hand. Sirius left out a soft moan and felt it ripple down his body to his loins. Come to me, love, make me groan.
Sirius finished undoing the last button of his robe, and slid the black cloth down his body, allowing it to fall into a black puddle at his feet. He could feel the sweat building on his own body. He couldn't remember ever being so aroused by just the feel of his own touch. Remus's eyes travelled all over Sirius's body. He was drinking in the sight of the other boy. Sirius ran one hand down his chest towards his groin. It caught the bottom of his white t-shirt. He slowly pulled it up to expose the soft, lightly haired skin of his belly. His other hand slipped under the material and began a journey north to his nipple. He could see Remus's eyes on his chest following the progress of his hand. As he reached his destination, Remus closed his eyes momentarily, and swallowed against his already dry mouth, fighting back his own desires. His knuckles were white as they gripped the chair. He was leaning forward in anticipation of the coming event.
With an easy movement Sirius took his top off, and slowly used it to wipe the sweat of his body. He drew Remus's eyes downwards with his movement, until he finally threw the top away. He ran his hands over his torso, teasing Remus a little more before he allowed one hand to make the slow decent towards his waist. Remus was breathing so heavily now that his chest was heaving under his top. Sirius dipped one finger below the waistline of his trousers. Then another. His other hand undid the first button of his trousers, pulling it as far from his body as possible. His erection was throbbing and obvious under the slight material. He felt the cloth give, as the second button released him even more. Sirius dipped his hand further under the material and he heard Remus gasp 'oh god' under his breath, his eyes were closed, and he was shaking. Come to me, love, make me explode.
As Sirius undid the next button, Remus bolted from the chair. He grabbed Sirius with such a force that they ended up crashing against the other wall, but neither cared. Their hands were all over each other. Sirius pulled off Remus's robe and shirt. He needed to run his hands all over Remus's bare flesh. Sirius could feel the cold marble against his back in contrast to the hot electric flesh of his lover. They both had their trousers on, but it didn't take long until they were naked against each other; bodies pressed together; hips grinding against hips, their erections throbbing between them. Sirius moved his hand down Remus's chest, but Remus caught it and held it back against the wall with a feral power. Sirius groaned in protest, but soon succumbed to Remus.
Remus was now moving, moving them. He guided Sirius towards the pool, and down the steps, until warm waves of foamy water washed over both of them. Remus pushed Sirius up against the corner of the pool, and finally released his hands. He pinned Sirius in by placing his hand on either side of his lover, and continued kissing him. Sirius pushed into the kisses. He pressed his own back again the pool wall, and wrapped one leg around Remus's hip, bringing him closer to him. He could feel the water lubricating their bodies. He felt the grasp of Remus's hand around his cock and he broke away gasping.
"Oh God, Remus!" he exclaimed, as the grip tightened and began undulating to the waves of the water. "Oh God!" Sirius smacked his arms down on the sides of the pool for leverage and somehow his hands found two of the taps. He grasped them in an effort to release the intensity flowing through his body. It didn't work! He'd never – felt – anything – like – this – before.
Sirius pulled his other leg up, and wrapped it around Remus other hip, clamping onto him. He was being supported by Remus and the water. He didn't think he would have been able to support himself anyway.
Remus's grip moved excruciatingly slowly up and down Sirius's cock. Sirius knew Remus was teasing him. He knew that his body would continue tensing and relaxing as the pleasure shot through him. He felt the corner of the pool dig into his ribs but he didn't care. Remus pushed in to kiss him again, claming his lips, biting them and pulling at them. As Remus pulled away their eyes locked again. They were panting in unison. There was such pure desire, lust, hunger, need, and want, in those eyes; it took Sirius's breath away. He could hear Remus saying, almost in a whisper, 'Slowly... slowly...' as his hand moved between them.
"Ah!" Sirius exclaimed as he felt another shot of pleasure. "Faster." But Remus shook his head, completely in control of the situation, of Sirius; never taking his eyes of his partner. Sirius could feel Remus's cock pressed against him; right between his cheeks. Sirius could feel Remus's raging red hardness pressed to his body. Needing to be released, needing an orgasm.
Sirius gasped louder as Remus ran his thumb over the tip of Sirius's cock. His eyes locked with Remus's again. He was sure he saw a sadistic glint flash through them. Oh, you are enjoying this, aren't you, Sirius thought as another wave of pleasure hit him and he screamed out this time. Remus grasped his cock tighter and took Sirius's balls in his other hand. Make me come, make me come, make me come! Sirius's body shuddered as he felt the hot shooting waves of orgasm begin in his balls. "Oh God."
With that, Remus released his grip and ducked under the water. Sirius felt Remus's mouth descend onto his throbbing cock. In that second, his whole body exploded from the centre out. His head flew back, his arms and hands stiffened, his back arched, his hips jerked forward, and his seed shot into Remus's mouth.
"Oh!Remus!Fuck!Fuck!Fu-ck!" Sirius exclaimed in quick succession, as he felt his whole body react to the shock of the orgasm. A moment later, Remus's head appeared from the water, his hair plastered to his face, and a smile big enough to drown in.
"Better?" he asked coquettishly.
Sirius looked at him in surprise. How could such a quite, unassuming young man like Remus evoke such a powerful response in him?
"No idea," Sirius said, shaking his head in disbelief. Remus moved towards him and placed a soft, gentle kiss on his lips. It was a completely different kiss to the one they had shared earlier. Like always, Remus seemed sated after their trysts.
"I hurt you?" Remus asked, seeing the red skin on Sirius's wrist where he had held his lover back.
"No," Sirius said placing a kiss on his lips, "never." Another, slower kiss. "Your turn now," Sirius said with a smile, but was met with a confused look. Remus always refused in the past, but not tonight, not after that! "Do I have to spell it out, Moony?" Sirius said, indicating downwards with his eyes.
"You don't have to," Remus responded with a shake of his head.
"I want to," Sirius implored.
"No, I mean – you don't have to," Remus stated, "I already," suddenly shy, "I came."
"What?" Sirius asked, not understanding what Remus was saying.
"I came," Remus said, wiping a stand of wet hair out of his eyes, "I always do with you." He didn't meet Sirius's eyes for a moment. "Maybe it's a wolf thing, I don't know." Sirius reached his hand up and turned Remus's face to meet him. "You've been a little preoccupied in the past to notice." Remus smiled slightly.
"I'm not sure if I believe you," Sirius said with a slow smile.
"What do you want, proof?" Remus said incredulously.
"Maybe," Sirius said as he shoved his hand under the water. Remus jumped back.
"What are you doing?" Remus asked in amused surprise.
"Just checking," Sirius said cheekily, moving towards Remus again. Remus grabbed Sirius's hands and held them out of the water.
"You're just going to have to learn to trust me, Sirius Black." Remus glared.
"Oh, but I do, Remus Lupin." Sirius replied, pushing Remus back against the poolside, "I just – want – proof." Sirius placed a soft, smiling kiss onto Remus's lips and it took only a few moments before Remus released his hands and snaked his arms around Sirius's waist.
"Hmm," Remus murmured, after they had pulled apart. "I like this."
"What?" Sirius asked, resting his head against Remus's wet shoulder. He kissed the wet skin tenderly and tasted bath foam mixed with sweat.
"Post-coital," Remus said, and Sirius laughed gently on his shoulder. "What is so funny?"
"Remus Lupin saying post-coital." Sirius lazily picked up his head and brushed Remus's hair back from his eyes. "Remus Lupin being post-coital."
"It's your fault," Remus said with easy accusation.
"Hmmm," Sirius said, "I'm still getting used to that." He smiled happily and they kissed again.
They didn't get out of the water until their skin had begun to prune. They wrapped the large white towels around themselves as they dried off.
"These are nice," Remus said absently.
"We could get some," Sirius said, "for our place." Remus looked at him and held back a laugh.
"Along with matching robes?" Remus asked teasingly, but Sirius played along.
"Mmm hmm," Sirius said, wrapping his arms around Remus. "And when we get old, we'll slow dance together in them on our back porch at sunset." He started to sway as he talked. "You'll remind me to pay the bills and I'll push your glasses back up when they slip down."
"I'll wear glasses?" Remus asked.
"Yeah," Sirius predicted. "It'll be from reading too many books, but I won't mind because you'll be able to explain everything to the kids."
"Kids!" Remus laughed. "Do I have to explain simple biology to you, Sirius?"
"James and Peter's kids, then," Sirius continued unperturbed, taking one of Remus's hands in his and leading the dance. "We can feed them too much chocolate, and tell them horrid ghost stories, before packing them home to mum and dad."
"They'll love us for that!" Remus said dryly, but Sirius continued.
"Then we'll go to our bedroom and climb into our own double bed."
"Four poster?" Remus asked, allowing himself to be taken in.
"Of course," Sirius said, spinning the two of them around, "but we won't have curtains because it'll be our house, our bed. No need to hide anywhere. We can just be together, just be." He placed another kiss on Remus's lips.
"I never would have believed it," Remus said with a half smile, "Sirius Black is a hopeless romantic."
"Not hopeless," Sirius said, moving closer to Remus. "Never hopeless."
It was past midnight when they finally made it back to the Gryffindor Tower, hurriedly running down corridors to avoid the watchful eyes of Mr. Filch. They hopped through the portrait hole and found the common room strangely deserted for them. Despite the late time, they had still expected to see one or two other Gryffindors to make excuses to.
They made their way up the stairs to the seventh year's dorm room. Just as they reached the door, Sirius pulled Remus back towards him, giving him a last kiss.
"Thank you," Sirius whispered as they pulled apart.
"For what?"
"For tonight," Sirius said. "For everything," he brushed his hand across Remus's cheek. "For you."
Sirius stared at Remus and he felt like he was getting lost again. He would have stayed there forever if he could. Maybe it was true, he thought, maybe Sirius Black was a hopeless romantic.
***
Sirius spent the next week on a high. It felt like he and Remus were finally together; finally getting somewhere. There was only one nagging thought at the back of his mind. Why was Remus always so determined to be the dominant of the two? It made him feel like Remus didn't want Sirius to touch him. Sirius's mind told him this wasn't true, but why hadn't he allowed Sirius to repeat what they had done on their first night together?
Sirius sat back in his chair and stretched his arms into the air. Professor Binns's classes always had a tiring effect on him. Wake up! He told himself. It wouldn't do him any good to get into more trouble this week.
Sirius turned his head and caught the sight of Remus bent over quill and parchment. Sirius couldn't help but smile. Chocolate locks hid honey eyes from view, but Sirius was sure they had an intense look of concentration. Remus took his studies so seriously it was scary. He spent most of his time reading one book or another. Sirius was sure that if Remus had been put in a different house, or even had come to Hogwarts a year later, there wouldn't have been any fun in the young werewolf's life.
The full moon was tonight, and still Remus was intent on taking his usual high standard of notes in every class. Sirius hardly knew where he got the energy.
Almost instinctively, Remus's eyes lifted from his parchment and met Sirius's. They smiled so easily at each other it was like an artist had just run his glowing brush over their lips.
Remus raised his eyes in a simple communication to his partner, 'Get back to work!' Sirius stubbornly refused until Remus communicated that there would be a reward for him if he did. Sirius picked up his quill and, with unknown vigour, transcribed every note that Professor Binns wrote.
***
Sirius shovelled the last mouthful of food through his lips before gulping back some pumpkin juice.
"Have you never heard of table manners?" Lily asked disgustedly as Sirius tried to keep his lips shut as he chewed. It was an interesting battle to watch. He shook his head at Lily in response and prodded his finger towards the doors to the Great Hall to indicate he was leaving.
"You'll be sorely missed," James frowned as he wiped a piece of mashed potato from his face, which had just flown from Sirius mouth. Sirius just smiled and left.
"What's up with him today?" Lily asked when Sirius had left the table.
"Dunno," James replied once he had removed the offending piece of food. "Suppose it's just because of tonight. He's starting to get more moody then Moony. Bloody time of the month!"
Lily looked suitably appalled until James apologised for the statement. She melted easily.
"So you're going out tonight, then," she whispered.
"Yeah," James shrugged easily, "couldn't go last month, so..."
Lily fidgeted with her spoon for a moment, while James cut up his steak.
"James?"
"Hmm," came the mumbled reply.
"You are careful – I mean – it's very dangerous. You really don't know what could happen if things got out of control."
James's head snapped up from the table and he looked at Lily in surprise.
"Remus isn't dangerous, Lily," James frowned.
"I'm not talking about Remus," Lily corrected, "but you go into the forest... That's dangerous. I asked Professor Kettleburn about it and..."
"You went to Kettleburn!?"
"I just asked him about what lived in the forest. That's all."
James raised his eyebrows in interest. "And what did he say?"
"Well... he gave me a funny look, then said that there were things in there that had no place on a school grounds."
James laughed. "I bet Kettleburn never even went in there. You should have asked Hagrid instead." He continued eating his meal.
"Hagrid?"
"Yeah. He usually keeps an eye on them all. The trolls can be a bit overenthusiastic, but the rest of the animals are usually friendly." James let out a laugh. "There's a Demiguise in there that loves nothing more than playing hide and seek. Of course, he can make himself invisible so it's not really fair."
Lily tried to laugh but it was impossible. She could feel the fear gripping her heart. The thought of losing James was unbearable. He looked up from his plate with a lopsided grin. His hair was a complete mess and he had never looked more attractive. She could feel tears welling in her eyes but she didn't know why.
James saw the worry on her face and his smile faded.
"Lily, we are very careful. You don't need to-"
"I know, I know," she choked out under the noise of the Great Hall, "but I can't help it, James. There's something about that forest. Something about you going out at full moon, that worries me. And it's not Remus," she pre-empted his thoughts. "I don't know what it is."
James lifted his hand to comfort her. "Lily, I'm as safe out there as I would be if I was locked in one of Balatro's dungeons. Safer! Remus, Peter and Sirius take care of me. We take care of each other." His lightened his voice. "I've never been hurt before, have I?" Lily shook her head. "I'll be fine; tonight will be like every other full moon." This didn't seem to ease Lily's fears. "Okay," James conceded, "How about if I promise not to go into the forest. Would that make you feel better?"
"I can't ask you to do that, James. You have to do what Remus needs."
"You're not asking, Lily," James eased. "I don't want you to worry, okay?"
Lily finally seemed to agree, but she could still feel the weight of ice in her stomach that wouldn't shift even at James's promise
***
Sirius pushed open the door to the seventh year Gryffindor boys' room and bounded over to Remus's bed.
"Don't even think about it, Black," his friend sternly warned, "I have to get this finished, and you will only distract me." Remus pointed his quill accusatorially at Sirius and watched as the smile fell from his face.
"But Moony," Sirius pleaded, "we've got the place to ourselves." He tried to slink up onto the other boy's bed. "It would be a pity to waste it."
"NO!"
Sirius pouted, "You're no fun when the moon is high."
"Sirius, I've got about twenty minutes to finish this essay, and you want to play 'Hunt the sausage'."
"But I'm bored," Sirius pleaded yet again.
"Then go find James," Remus answered curtly without looking up from his parchment.
"James doesn't like playing 'hunt the sausage' with me." Sirius tried pouting, and panting; pleading, and begging; but there was no moving Remus. Finally, he stood and made his way to the door.
"Keep rejecting me and Padfoot might have to find a new playmate." Sirius teased as he opened the door.
"No one would put up with you," Remus replied dryly. Sirius smiled in spite of himself. He didn't want anyone else. Remus would do just fine, thank you very much.
"When are you going down to the Shack?"
"Twenty minutes, Sirius!" Remus replied, his quill frantically running across the parchment.
"I'll see you down there," Sirius told him and Remus grunted impatiently in reply.
Sirius stood for a moment watching Remus work, and then he crossed the room, lifted Remus's chin, and kissed him gently. Sirius felt the tension melting from the shoulders of the other boy.
"You better behave yourself tonight," Remus said softly when they finally pulled apart.
"Never," Sirius replied, with a twinkle in his eyes. He finally walked out of the room, confident in the knowledge that Remus's eyes were fixed on his withdrawing arse.
***
When Sirius returned to the dorm nearly an hour later, his mood was completely different. James and Peter's eyes snapped up when they heard the creaking of the door. What met their gaze was a sight they never believed they would see.
Sirius stood in the doorway, his face white with fear and his body shaking. There was a light slickness to his skin and James soon realised it was a cold sweat.
"Sirius, what is it? Why aren't you in the Shack?"
Sirius didn't answer. His body seemed to move involuntarily until he was sitting on the end of his bed, his head held in his hands.
"Sirius?" James asked again, "What's wrong?"
Sirius raised his head and James realised that his friend's hands were shaking badly. The bespectacled boy quickly kneeled in front of Sirius and looked up at him.
"What happened? Is it Remus?"
"I don't – I don't know why – he just, he wouldn't stop, and I said it – I told him before I even knew what I'd said. – oh God."
"Who?" James asked again, prying Sirius's hands away from his face. "Who are you talking about?"
Sirius looked up and met James's searching eyes. He tried to pull himself together, but the fear was building inside of him, settling in his chest like a weight.
"Sirius, for fuck's sake, just tell me what happened." James was almost shouting now, the fear he could see in Sirius's eyes piercing his chest.
"S – Snape."
"What about him?
"I told him – I told him about the Willow."
James stared at his friend, horror gripping him tighter, and tried to figure out exactly what Sirius was saying. Surely, he didn't mean? He hadn't told Snape how to get passed the Willow? How to get to the Shack?
"What!" James said in a frightened whisper.
"I don't know how... I just..."
"You have to go after him. You have to tell him it was a joke, or a prank, or something." James was on his feet now, speaking erratically. "He can't go through, he can't see Remus. What the hell were you thinking, Sirius? We have to go, come on!"
But it was obvious Sirius wasn't thinking. He was shivering now, unable to move.
"Get up, Sirius." No movement. "Sirius Black if you don't get on your feet now, I'm going to kick the shit out of you." Still nothing, except the convulsing fear apparent in Sirius's shoulders.
"Fine!" James finally exclaimed, "But you're going to pay for this Sirius. I just hope that slimy bastard is okay."
A moment later and James had left the room, dragging his invisibility cloak after him. Sirius watched the door shut, his eyes fixed. He was unable to feel anything but the long fingers which where churning inside his stomach.
"How could you do it, Sirius?" Peter's small voice floated over from the other side of the room. "How could you betray Remus."
Sirius's eyes fell on those of the smaller boy. They were full of hurt and sorrow. Sirius opened his mouth to speak but there was nothing he could say. The reason behind his actions was unexplainable. Even to himself.
He fell back on his bed and curled up. Please, run fast James. Make sure nothing happens to Remus. He'll never forgive me, but just make him be okay.
Sirius lay on the bed, clutching the covers between his fingers and praying like he had never done before.
***
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