"You can't have this one..." the words drifted across Qui-Gon's fuzzy brain. He'd heard them in the midst of some nightmare but he couldn't remember anything else about the previous night. His head felt foggy and disoriented and with a start he realized he didn't know where he was. He was frightened at first, but only at first. He was gloriously warm and pain-free, a beautiful sensation he had not felt since the beginning of this disaster. * I must be dead* he thought grimly. *At least it doesn't hurt anymore.* Being dead wasn't that bad if life was agony. A break from pain. It was nice.
He felt something damp on his cheek. It startled him. A dead person cannot feel, can they? He gradually became aware of his surroundings, he was lying on his side, something draped over his shoulder. With a start he realized it was rain on his face. He was alive. He stirred slightly and felt pain lance up his arm. With a soft moan, he stilled his movements. That hurt. Yes, he was definitely alive.
But where was he anyway? It was too comfortable, too safe to be the cold cell. *Am I home then, has everything just been a dream?* He thought hazily. Like a comforting old friend, he felt the force's embrace once more, the familiar light and *peace.* Was everything bad that had happened just going to come undone? Someone was holding him, he felt arms about his waist. The hands clasped over his abdomen were warm and oddly comforting. He leaned back and felt them tighten around him. He smiled.
Tahl lay next to him, completely exhausted from the day before and sleeping peacefully. Her
hand curled protectively around him as if she'd never let him go again. He snuggled sleepily
against her, happy for the first time in what seemed like forever.
***
It was mid afternoon when Tahl finally woke. Her strength had been depleted by helping Qui-Gon, she had fallen into a deep, dreamless slumber. It was the steady rain that awoke her, the storm from the previous night bleeding rain in torrents against the canopy. While the thick foliage sheltered them to a great extent, Tahl still rose and propped her robe up over the small cavity in the trunk where they had bedded down. She spread it out on a broken branch above them so no rain could get in, then stood back to inspect her work. Her makeshift tent complete she stepped under it and sat down cross-legged next to Qui-Gon.
Her friend slept on, oblivious to it all. Tahl noticed with relief that his breathing was steadier, deeper and he'd regained some color. His appearance still broke her heart though. Even as he dreamed, she could hardly look at him without tears rising in her eyes. He was curled into a ball of hurt, his maimed hand laying open by his side. Dried blood caked around the deep puncture wound and blood had seeped through the strip of tunic she had bound it with. His face was marred by bruises, cuts and grime; dark circles under his eyes testified to how much he needed the healing sleep. He looked so young...a pitiful shadow of himself.
Her eyes flicked to his Padawan braid which was draped down his bare shoulder, looking as bedraggled as the rest of him. His braid was his pride, it felt so strange to see it tangled. He was so enthusiastic about the symbol of his training, she remembered the first day he had added a band to it, how excited he'd been. He was only 13 at the time, but even for a youth he'd been so delighted by it. Tahl sighed and reached out to brush it. The boy flinched as her fingers made contact with his skin.
"Do you even know it's me?" she whispered heart-brokenly, gently unfastening his braid and undoing its weave. She smoothed it out with her fingers and then began to re-braid it carefully. His expression changed from one of sleeping contentment to agitation. Tahl smiled. Some things would never change. She ignored him and continued to braid. He stirred, trying to bat her away from his face with his uninjured hand, and Tahl stilled her hand, a small smile touching her lips a moment. She wasn't exactly sure *why* she was bothering him like this; she knew all to well he needed this rest. In her heart of hearts, she sort of wanted him to wake up; she was scared and alone.
A moment passed before he groaned and rewarded her efforts with a flicker of grey-blue. Tahl finished tying his braid and lay it back on his shoulder, giving him a smile. Her friend blinked sleepily at her. "T-tahl?"
"Mmm-hm. I'm right here." she lay next to him, propping herself up on a bent arm. He reached up and felt his now untangled braid. Tahl's own smile broadened as she saw his lips quirk slightly at her. She gave the braid a little tweak just to see what he'd do.
"Stop..." he moaned pathetically, too weak to defend himself against her teasing, for now. "Please...leave my braid alone."
"You're not very fun in the morning" she chided, but stopped her tormenting feeling bad that he couldn't at least fight back. It scared her really, for it was testament to how weak he was. Usually he would have played along or at the very least made a swat at her. Tahl's eyes grew grave. She leaned forward, concerned. "How do you feel?"
"Like...like someone beat me with a very large stick." he murmured. He added a half-smile at her worried eyes.
"I'm fine." he mumbled. The boy started to sit up, but stopped with a surprised gasp, unable to take the pain in his shoulders. Tahl pressed him down easily with a hand.
"Guess again Qui-Gon. You're injured, take it easy." She pulled the med kit Li had given her out of her bag. "What hurts?" she asked, glancing at his bruised face.
Qui-Gon made a face at her. He was at a difficult spot, on one hand he didn't want to be touched at all, just to curl up in a ball of misery and lick his wounds alone. However on the other side it hurt *so* bad, he knew he really needed medical attention.
Tahl stared at him a moment, then spoke again. "What happened anyway?" he noticed she was staring down at his pierced hand.
He felt a fear pull at him. More, a terror. His eyes grew wide as he remembered, remembered what he so much wanted to forget. His head spun with the feeling, he felt dizzy and sick. He couldn't tell her. Not now, it hurt too much. He didn't want to tell anyone what he had felt at the mercy of the Muh-Hadden. The anger, the darkness, the pain. It was physically painful to think on it, and didn't he have enough of that already? Why should he have to relive it? He felt suddenly angry at Tahl for making him think about it, he didn't want to, Force, didn't want to! The whole while his friend continued to stare at him as a million panicked thoughts raced through his weary mind.
"Well?" she prompted. "If I don't know what's wrong I can't help you."
He drew a shuddering breath. Tahl wasn't trying to make him suffer, she was only trying to help him. Qui-Gon told himself that over and over. She was on his side, she wouldn't hurt him, she didn't want to know anything about the names...names... Conn's mocking voice sprang into his head. All over a few names...
"I..." he desperately wanted to tell her that he couldn't remember but he had never lied to Tahl, how could he now? "I don't want to talk about it, I can't." he breathed.
Tahl looked at him sadly. "Li told me some of it. I can understand if you don't want to talk about it."
"Oh..." Qui-Gon murmured to himself, anxiously fingering his braid.
"Yes." Tahl looked unconcerned at his fears, rather focusing on his eyes, full of pain. "Now, anything broken?"
Qui-Gon stared blankly ahead. 'Define broken' he thought to himself. He tapped into the force and it was there as always with him, feeding him strength. He wrapped it around his hurting body, feeling the injuries he'd sustained. It was funny, he had never really thought about where he was wounded, it was just hurt.
"My ribs..." he said quietly. "They hit me pretty hard in the ribs. Its hard to breathe."
Tahl pulled herself up and leaned over her friend. She could easily see the black and blue swollen area on his chest. It looked painful, but not more than she knew Qui-Gon could handle. The difficulty breathing worried her though. If a rib had been broken and pierced a lung, she wasn't sure how much she could help him. She reached out with the force feeling it stir and drawing it to her. Only once she had connected to it did she reach toward him physically. Tahl skimmed her fingers over the swelling as lightly as she could and still get an idea of the damage. Qui-Gon winced, but kept still as she worked. She glanced at his red-rimmed eyes a moment and then pressed down on the bruised skin, probing for fracture. He cried out softly, biting his lip. After a moment, she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Bruised, not broken."
She didn't move her hand from his chest, sliding upward from his ribs to his upper torso. Qui-Gon was puzzled but didn't move, letting her work. Tahl had always been better at the healing arts. Her hands traveled on until she finally came to rest over his sternum. "Something's wrong here...I can sense...you're sick."
Qui-Gon gave her a scared look, but she reassured him with a soft word. " 's okay. It's not bad. That's just why it hurts to breathe." He looked still a bit unnerved but trusted her word.
" I know your back isn't in very good shape, but I only have a few supplies. Can you sit up?" she asked, her brow furrowing.
Qui-Gon was sure that having her even touch his back would hurt more than he liked to think about, but he was left with no other choice. He complied with her order and forced his tired limbs to move. She moved forward, inspecting the stripes.
"Ooh, Qui-Gon!" she said in a heartbroken whisper. "What did they do to you?" she hadn't seen the damage in full light before and the extent of the injuries were massive. Long cuts crisscrossed his back and shoulders of varying depths and seriousness. Some licked over his shoulders and a few ventured down across his abdomen. 'He must have been in so much pain...' she felt her heart drop. "Your back is a mess."
"Tahl, you're not very reassuring." Qui-Gon groaned painfully through gritted teeth.
She gave him a weak smile. "Sorry." the girl paused, grimacing as she looked at the wounds. "This is going to hurt."
"See, this is what I'm talking about." he said, paling a little.
"I'm just warning you!" Tahl said, exasperated. She poured some water out of her bottle into a little cup, and then ripped her extra tunic into strips. "I'm going to have to clean these up before I can treat them. That part is going to hurt. But afterward it will feel better."
She saw him nod. "Good, now just hang in there..." she touched the wet rag against his hurting back as gently as she could. Qui-Gon yelped and pulled away as soon as she had touched him.
"Did I hurt you?!!!" she asked frantically, taking his hand.
He coughed weakly, wincing as his chest expanded with the spasm. "Well, yes, but...I'm all right." he whispered. "Go on."
She wet the rag again and began to clean the wounds, easing out the dirt and dried blood, every few seconds glancing up nervously at him. Qui-Gon kept still and silent as she worked, the only noise a soft moan as she cleaned out a particularly bad slash. Tahl knew she was hurting him and tried to help him with the pain through the force but she was so depleted from the previous night there was little else she could do but try to be as quick as possible.
Finally she stopped, letting her friend rest before bandaging him. His face was white and he was shaking but his breathing was steady and his eyes clear. She grinned. "Wasn't so bad now, was it?"
He shuddered, forcing a quirk of the lips.
She stared distractedly at the med kit. "I've got some salve but no bacta. That will be a bit of a problem."
Qui-Gon cocked an eyebrow at her. "I've come this far, haven't I?" he said, sounding more confident than he was.
She grinned at him. "I'll admit, I didn't think you had it in you." Her eyes shone proudly at him. "Braver then you look." He blushed and shot her a look of mock indignation, but said nothing. After spreading the salve across his back, she finally instructed him to lay back down.
"Now let me see your hand." she ordered, finding some bandages in the out-dated med kit.
He hesitated a moment, but only a moment and then gingerly held out his left hand. She glanced at it and swore. She didn't want to cause him any more pain, but it had to be cleaned so it wouldn't get infected. This would hurt him, badly. She glanced out at the tranquil green woods before finally turning back.
"Alright Qui-Gon concentrate on my voice" she spoke in a soft, soothing voice. She waited until she had his full attention before continuing.
. "Now I want you to close your eyes..."
Again, Qui-Gon followed her orders, shutting his eyes, though he felt stupid. "that's good, keep them closed." he heard, and felt a soft hand on his temple. *what IS she doing?* he wondered.
"Tahl...what's going on, what are you-" Tahl grinned and then pressed hard on his mind with the force as an answer. Qui-Gon stopped in mid sentence, his words turning into a sigh, his head dropping against his chest. His mind went utterly blank as the oblivion of sleep claimed him. His body went limp and his face smoothed over the lines of worry and pain. Tahl watched with a smile that lingered on her lips as he gave a little soft breath of contention.
"And he's out." with that she went to work...