Morning sunlight filtered through the canopy, lighting the forest with the ethereal glow of dawn. The rain had passed during the night leaving the air with a fresh taste as it can be only after a storm. A soft breeze had just stirred up.
It sang through the leaves and over the dirt, finally fluttering in the boy's eyelashes. He stirred, one gray-blue eye opening. Qui-Gon lay there for a moment, in a dazed warm bliss. Then he sat up quickly. The sun dazzled his vision for a moment. "Perfect," he whispered, a small smile finding his lips.
He pulled himself into a standing position, wavering unsteadily for a moment before he caught his balance. It had been a few days since he had stood and his legs felt a little weak. But that was why he had to do this. He drank some water and stuffed a ration biscuit into his pocket. Then ever so quietly he turned to Tahl.
His friend was sleeping peaceful amid a pile of blankets. Her face was blank, radiating quiet contention. She needed sleep, Qui-Gon thought. So much of her energy was spent watching after her accident-prone friend. No need to bother her. He crouched down and brushed her forehead with a quick kiss. Then turned toward the forest.
His first few steps were stumbling, but he quickly gained strength and fell into his usual easy step. About 20 yards from the campsite he paused, fishing in his pocket for the biscuit. Whistling happily, he brushed the lint off it and took a bite. He looked up and choked.
"MMFF!"
Tahl was standing about two paces from him, her arms crossed over her chest looking distinctly not-amused. Her eyebrow cocked questioningly at him.
"Um...Good morning?" he smiled hopefully at her disapproving expression.
"Going off for a little stroll are you?" She asked sarcastically.
Qui-Gon didn't catch it. "I thought I might..." he replied, swinging his arms experimentally.
She shook her head. "Good idea, wander off into a strange forest alone, injured and without telling anyone-oh, and maybe you can even meet some nice Muh-Hadden search parties too!"
Qui-Gon rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid. I'm just going for a walk."
"Right. It's not safe Qui-Gon. I'm only looking out for you."
"Tahl, I can handle this. I'm eighteen!"
"Seventeen."
"Eighteen soon! And a Jedi!"
"...Padawan who's injured."
"And getting better. *Please* don't argue with me about this. I haven't had two moments of freedom in almost three weeks! I just want to feel normal again."
Tahl looked torn. On one hand she understood that he wanted solitude, and she couldn't blame him, but yet on the other side a fierce protectiveness didn't want to let him out of her sight. A voice incessantly whispered to her: 'they hurt him, they hurt him and they'd do it again.' The fear she could not shake. Tahl sighed. "Don't be gone too long." She flicked a nervous glance toward the direction they had come. "And please, do be careful!"
He bowed. "I will, Master." He handed her the half-eaten biscuit. "Here. Have some breakfast, I'll be back soon.." With that, and a impudent grin, he disappeared into the tree's. Tahl shook her head and walked back to camp.
Qui-Gon strode through the forest, his bare feet treading against the mossy ground in not an entirely unpleasant way. The breeze danced on his face, and the sun warmed him. He broke into an easy jog. The boy felt his pace quicken. Then, with one last apologetic glance toward camp, he threw himself forward into a full tilt run. He shot forward like an arrow loosed from a bow, feet pounding the ground, blood thrumming in his veins. His soul sang like a bird freed from a cage and he flew for the sheer speed of it. Darting here and there, over logs and stumps; feeling gloriously alive! He ran and ran until he finally flopped over on a mossy bank of a stream, panting and laughing. Anyone watching would have thought the young Jedi mad, but he was too happy to hold in his merriment.
Qui-Gon rolled over on his back, pausing to catch his breath. The glittering creek caught his eye, and he picked himself up to check it out. The bank was steep, so he had to be careful. He inched down and crouched by the water's edge.
For a moment, he was startled as he peered into the clear water...by his appearance. His face was bloody and bruised, his bare chest was tanned with dirt. Qui-Gon leaned closer. He looked like he had died and come back again. "Small wonder Tahl thinks I'm going to break." he whispered to the scarred, thin boy reflected in the water. He squinted and shifted closer.
Suddenly the mud he had crouched on began to slide. He pitched forward, tumbling off the bank and into the stream with a splash. The cold water drove the breath from him in a ragged gasp. It was only about knee-deep where he had fallen, but he was still soaked. He floundered around a moment and then began to laugh. * I do need a bath.* he thought to himself, amused. He relaxed as his body adjusted to the temperature, scrubbing at his grimy body. Throwing caution aside like a dirty rag, he gave himself over to the deep pool of cold water.
***
Tahl was almost about to go looking for him when Qui-Gon strode into camp, drenched to the bone. He sank down next to the fire, and shook his hair like a dog, spraying water everywhere.
"He's both clean *and* polite." Tahl said, her tone the only dry part of her. Qui-Gon smiled as charmingly as he could with his face stuffed with a ration bar.
"Did you find the stream, then?" Qui-Gon didn't respond; his mouth was full. She grinned at her hungry friend.
Qui-Gon swallowed. "It's beautiful." His voice was a soft murmur but Tahl heard the words clearly. He paused, looking up at the majestic canopy, his eyes dreamy. "And I love these trees." He smiled.
Tahl shook her head fondly at him, still grinning. She felt the living force stir in the young Jedi. Although Tahl favored it herself, she was not as strong as he in that particular part of the force. It did not bother her; it was simply his gift. She had come to know that trees would whisper things to Qui-Gon that she would never understand.
Tahl turned her eyes to the forest of green. "Yes." she whispered. "They are lovely."
He stretched out his shoulders as gently as possible; wincing. "I didn't expect to ever see them." a shadow crossed his open face, as if suddenly remembering something. "I thought I'd be dead." he muttered, his face twisting into a bitter grimace.
Tahl blushed, wanting to distract him but not knowing how. "Anyway, so, I've messed with the soup more, you want some?"
"No thank you." he mumbled, drawing his knees up to his chin. A silence stretched between them and lasted for a few moments. Qui-Gon stared into nothing, looking like he was thinking hard on something.
Tahl heaved a sigh and tried again. "I put some roots and things into it-it should mellow out the salt..."
"I'm not really hungry." His eyes didn't leave the flickering dancing fire, the tongues of the blaze reflecting in their blue depths.
"You've got to be. Come on, eat something more, you've got to get up your strength." she tossed the pack at him. "There's stuff in that if you don't want soup."
He wordlessly dug around until he found another ration bar. Tahl watched him warily, trying to gauge his mood. Her gaze fell on his hand, which he was starting to use again, albeit gingerly.
"How's your hand?" she queried, stirring the soup.
"Better." he muttered.
She dropped the spoon with a clatter that made him jump. "What's wrong with you!"
"Noth-"
"I'm serious, you were fine and now you aren't...did I miss something?!"
He met her gaze, his eyes bright. The wasn't anger in his gaze, no something more, a hurt he had been hiding, a wound he had disguised. There was something he hadn't told her. Tahl was sure of it. A moment passed and he confirmed it.
"Where's Master Dooku?" Qui-Gon asked bluntly, not an ounce of regret or hesitation in his voice. It was as if he had been dying to ask her for some time and had finally plucked up the courage.
Tahl stared back, her green eyes wide and eloquent in surprise. "What?"
"Where's my Master?"he asked again, tilting his head to the side. "Why didn't he come for me? Why couldn't I sense him?" A horrible thought dawned on the padawan. "Is he...please Tahl, has something happened to him?"
She stared at Qui-Gon, speechless. She had no idea what to tell him. *How about the truth?* a nasty little voice whispered to her. *I don't want to hurt him.* Tahl didn't move a muscle as the two sides in her head battled. *But is it your fault his Master didn't care to come?*
"He's fine." she finally forced out, blushing. Qui-Gon looked like he very much wanted to cry with relief, but did not let his gaze leave her. "He's back on Coruscant. See, no one came because...well.." she swallowed. "You're dead."
"What?!" Qui-Gon gasped, blanching. "No I'm not!"
"Well-*I* know you're not dead of course, but, to the rest of the galaxy...well...you're dead."
Her friends voice grew bitter. "Oh. And is this a educated guess then, an assumption? Haven't seen Qui-Gon in a bit-oh, he's probably dead! How in-"
She placed a hand over his mouth. "I know it's difficult. But Dooku received some transmission...it's a complicated story. I...overheard some things I wasn't supposed to. I'm not sure if everyone knows yet, but Dooku seemed to think so, and I know he was going to the Council. I was..." her voice broke, but she recovered smoothly. "...in denial, I suppose. So I came to well...to find your body." Her voice was little more then a whisper, quiet and sad.
"The Council didn't even send...to be sure?" Qui-Gon rested his chin on his knees, body posture relaying his hurt. Suddenly he felt very, very small, insignificant...
Tahl shook her head. "No. I came on my own." she hesitated, seemingly unsure of whether or not to go on. "I...I'm not supposed to be here. No one knows where I am. I sort of...borrowed a transport...and didn't...tell...my master." she swallowed, tears forming behind her bright eyes.
Qui-Gon stared at her. "You..."
"No. I'm not part of a rescue effort." she sniffed. "I just came... I...couldn't accept it....that you were...so I came to find you."
"You...came alone..." he whispered blankly, his eyes blurring with tears he was too proud to let fall.
"Yes." she breathed, steadying herself. "Now don't be like that." Her fingers brushed his cheek , but he seemed numb to her touch. "Dooku was destroyed, Qui-Gon. He wouldn't have been able to launch a recovery effort in that state."
"But why then-"
"There's a lot of things I don't understand either, but this is not the time to ponder them. We can worry about Dooku later." The girl hardened her voice a notch, and stuck out her chin like she did when she was certain of getting her way. "Right now, *you* need to heal and get back your strength." she poked his chest with emphasis on the last word.
He stared down at the finger somewhat surprised. "I...I..." he blushed. "I *am* feeling better." he finished.
"Really?"
"Well-" She noticed he was covering his hand. "Yes."
"Could I look at your hand, please?" Tahl asked, watching his eyes. She felt him stiffen as she took his hand in her own. The girl paid him no heed, staring down at the seemingly tiny wound. She was very concerned about infection, especially out in hiding with inadequate medical supplies. It looked to be fine, but even so she plastered it with the salve they had. Qui-Gon winced as she touched it. Tahl quieted him with a soft brush of the force. She didn't want him to be in pain, but wasn't about to take any chances with infection.
"So sore." he whispered, easing the injured hand out of Tahl's grasp. "But I can move it again."
"Somehow it seems that it didn't do much damage to the bones." she observed. "You're increadibley fortunate. It only pierced the flesh."
"Ow."
"I know, but better in the long run."
"In the long run..." he mused sadly. "But it's painful now."
"I know it is. You just need to rest-"
"Rest? Can't. The time I spent there...haunts me. I don't want to sleep, because I'm afraid to dream."
"You're afraid to sleep?" Tahl stopped, her eyes shining with pity for him.
"Yes. It always hurts." his voice was very small. "There is no rest..."
Tahl felt her heart twist. "I-I..." she fumbled for words of reassurance.
To her great surprise, Qui-Gon sighed heavily and lay his head on her shoulder. "But I feel safe when I'm awake-with you. I'm glad you're with me." he said quietly.
Tahl was some what startled by his statement, but she did not show it. Instead she gently stirred the force around her friend, soothing him. He deserved a break. "Let me help you." She reaching out with her mind.
The day had worn him out; he accepted her gift gratefully. His eyes drifted lazily to half-mast, the force gently lulling him into drowsy bliss. He was so tired all the sudden...so warm.
"Thank you...Tahl..." he mumbled closing his eyes in surrender to the force-suggestion. Qui-Gon knew the trick, but was all too glad to rest his troubled mind. He was asleep before he could finish his sentence.
Tahl smiled at the unconscious boy. He needed to relax and let his body catch up with him. As much as she disliked putting people out with the force he needed the respite. "Just sleep…" she breathed to him.
Qui-Gon submitted, melting against her in complete contentment. Tahl smiled at his blissful state, tracing a finger across his cheek. There was something like innocence in his expression, and she marveled that he could still portray a shadow of that after what had been done. The bruises on his face could still be clearly seen. They would fade in a few days, but the ones on his spirit would take longer. Tahl wished with every fiber of her soul that she could be sure that his tears would not turn into scars.
She hesitated a moment, then placed her fingers over a particularly dark bruise on his face. With determination, she focused the force of the discolored spot, concentrating on healing. Her gold-streaked eyes closed...
There was a flash and immediately a wave of hate, fear and horror washed over the girl. Tahl felt if she were spinning in darkness and then... "That will keep him awake." A blow that snapped her friends head back. Pain, vibrant and writhing with its ceaseless torment. Helpless fear. Confusion. She had a glimpse of a darkened cell before the picture blinked away, to leave her gasping and rubbing her eyes.
*A memory...?*
Qui-Gon stirred in his sleep, murmuring something. Tahl was so startled by the strange flashback that she hardly noticed his movements. Apparently through her mental probing she had tapped into one of his memories...one of his dreams.
*This is your nightmare?*
She whispered words of comfort that he could not hear, but that stilled his movements anyway.
*But it is also your reality. It will become your future, past and present.*
Qui-Gon looked so young, while he was sleeping. His face was innocence, all smooth and boyish. Eyelashes, dark against his pale skin, like strokes of ink. His lips were curved as if enjoying his own private joke in a dream. And yet-at the same time-when his eyes were open they were not so innocent.
*It won't be the last time, if you survive this. There will be other trials. Fate will toss you around like a ship caught in a gale. Like a kite, blowing out of control on the breeze. I see it.*
Tahl raised her eyes to the sun, which, barely visible through the canopy, was bleeding crimson, dying to twilight. Where had the day gone? Perhaps she had been sitting here for longer than she imagined. Dusk was falling.
*But you're strong, Qui-Gon.*
She stopped moving, eyes locking on his face. He was sleeping deeply, safe from the demons that haunted him while she was watching. For now, all was well. Tahl knew she should savor it. Her eyes drifted closed, and she joined her friend in sleep...