Chapter 5
Dark storm clouds are moving in from the west as Poteidaia comes into sight. Somehow their presence seems appropriate, given the nature of our visit. Studying the cracked and sun bleached walls surrounding the small village, I can't help feeling I've been here before. Gabrielle's stories about her home seemed so real, it's exactly as she described it. We stop just outside the main gate. Glancing to the side I find blue eyes staring back at me. They look almost apologia. Without a word she looks away kicking Argo into motion. My own horse follows. Inside the main square we dismount, leading the horses through the open market place.
"Saraphen?!" calls a woman stopping before us. "Sister, is it really you?"
"Alletta!" cries Saraphen running forward to embrace the older woman.
Xena and I exchange weary glances as we watch the reunion.
"Xena!" squeals a small dark haired figure rushing across the square. The young woman throws herself at the warrior's waist wrapping her in a massive bear hug.
Xena seems as surprised by the greeting as I am.
"Lila." I hear the warrior say as she places a gentle hand on the younger woman's back. I notice her surprise has turned to what could almost be considered affection.
So this is Lila. Gabby had described her to me a hundred times and as usual the bard's description was on the mark.
Pulling away from the warrior the girl smiles up at her. "I knew you and Gab would bring Saraphen home."
Xena's normally stone features break into a sad smile and she appears to be fighting back tears. Lila fails to notice the warrior's reaction, having turned away to gather Saraphen in smothering embrace. A crowd is gathering as friends and family come to welcome home one of their own.
"Lila." cries Saraphen holding the younger woman close.
"Hey, Saraphen ease up a little." chuckles the girl. "You're breaking my ribs." Pulling away to stare into Saraphen's tear stained face. "What's wrong?"
Saraphen takes Lila hands in her own dropping her head she tries to compose herself, it's not working.
"Hey, it can't be that bad." teases the girl hoping to ease the tension.
Saraphen meets her gaze. "It's Gabrielle."
Lila's smile slips away along with the color from her cheeks. "Wh...what about Gab?"
"Lila she's...she's dead."
"No." replies the girl pulling away. "No, I don't believe you."
"I'm sorry." answers Saraphen reaching for her.
"No." frantically Lila turns to the warrior. "Xena tell her, tell her it's a mistake." The absolute despair in her plea is gut wrenching.
"Lila...it's true." compassion softens Xena's features as she offers a hand to the younger woman.
"No!" cries the girl backing away from the warrior. Fire flickers in her eyes as anger replaces despair. "You were supposed to protect her!" The accusation echoes through the square.
"I know." Xena whispers.
Lila drops to her knees as sobs shake her petite body. Xena steps forward to comfort the grieving girl. Perhaps they will be able to comfort each other. She reaches out to Lila only to be pushed aside by Saraphen and several other village women.
Ignoring the rude treatment Xena steps aside allowing the girl's friends to care for her. Anger grips me as I watch the scene. 'What's wrong with these people can't they see Xena's hurting too?'
From across the square a couple rushes to join the crowd. Pushing through the woman kneels beside the sobbing girl. "Lila, what's wrong daughter?"
"She's...gone..."
"Who's gone?"
"Gabrielle..." sobs the girl before clutching to her mother.
Holding the girl close the woman cast a fearful look at the man beside her. Silently he raises and pushes through the crowd to stand before Xena. Though he is nearly a foot shorter than the warrior he glares up at her. "What is going on Xena? Where is my daughter?"
Xena seems to take no offense to his hostile tone. In fact her face softens as she speaks. "The Other Side."
Clearly shaken by the warrior's reply the man staggers back a step. "Wh...what?"
"It's true, Herodotus." answers Saraphen moving to his side.
He stares through the young woman for a moment before turning on Xena. "This is your fault!" he screams pointing an accusing finger at the warrior. "If you had sent her home instead of filling her head with silly tales of hero nonsense this never would have happened!"
"Herodotus...I'm sorry." she whispers.
"You're sorry!" his body trembles with emotion. "You kill my daughter and all you can say is your sorry!" Shaking a calloused fist in the warrior's face. "Do you think you pathetic apologies can ease the pain of a lost child!?"
"no." whispers the warrior.
"Leave! Leave here now and take your apologies with you! You're no longer welcome in Poteidaia, Xena!" Taking a threatening step toward the warrior. "And if you ever come near any of my family again I'll kill you with my bare hands! Now leave!"
"Stop it!" I shriek unable to stand it anymore. If she won't defend herself I will.
"Who are you?!" demands the enraged man.
"Joxer, don't." pleas Xena.
"I'm Joxer." Forcing myself to stand tall. "A friend of Gabrielle's... and Xena's."
He moves toward me, his voice dropping to a deadly tone. "'Friend's' of Xena's aren't welcome here either."
"Husband." The woman grabs his arm forcing him to look at her. "Take Lila home."
Angrily he turns back to Xena but before he can speak his wife places a gentle hand against his cheek forcing him to meet her gaze. "Husband, your daughter needs you."
All the anger drains away causing his shoulders to sag under the weight of her words, with a surrendering nod he moves to the sobbing girl. Offering reassuring words he helps her to her feet. The crowd watches silently as they make their way out of the square.
As they disappear from sight the older woman turns to Xena.
Swallowing back tears Xena begins to speak. "Hecuba, I don't know what to say. I know it doesn't mean much but I am sorry for your loss, if..."
A sharp slap cuts the warrior off in midsentence. Though the older woman's hand struck hard and fast I know Xena could have easily stopped it, had she wanted too. I also know the pain in the warrior's eyes is not from the blow.
"What would you know of my 'loss'? I don't want your apologies 'Warrior Princess'. They won't bring my daughter back."
Xena bows her head without replying.
I can't stand it anymore. "It wasn't Xena's fault. Gabrielle died trying to stop Dahok."
"Is that suppose to ease my families suffering?" asks the older woman glaring at me. "Do you think her dieing some 'heroic' death makes her loss any less painful?"
Unable to face her accusing stare I look to the ground. "No." I finally manage to choke out.
Releasing me from her gaze she turns it on Xena. "Gabrielle believed she could change your violent ways. She believed there was good in you and somehow she could bring it out. I warned her about traveling with you. Death is your only true companion Xena. Your very presence reeks of it. She follows you everywhere, consuming all who come near you. I knew it was only a matter of time till it took my little girl." she turns to leave, but hesitating turns back to the warrior. "I've often wondered how you escaped punishment for your past. Now I realize you haven't, the Gods have cursed you to wander this world alone." She turns once more to me. "Follow her if you wish, but be warned Death is a jealous companion. She will only tolerate your presents for so long." Without wanting for an answer she turns to walk away.
"Wait." calls Xena to the retreating woman.
"Why?"
"I have some of Gabrielle's things. I...I thought you might like to have them."
"What type of things?" ask the woman suspiciously.
Xena moves to Argo, reaching for the leather bag Gabrielle carried for so long. "Clothes mostly and some things she gathered over the last few years." Lifting the bag she adds with a heavy sense of regret. "She didn't have much."
Watching calloused fingers gently brush across the worn leather I can only wonder at the memories, which have brought a hint of a smile to the warrior's face.
"A few mementos from her travels" slowly the smile reaches her eyes. "and her scrolls." Reverently Xena offers the bag to the waiting woman.
Hecuba's face becomes stone cold as she stares at the offered bag. Finally she turns the icy gaze on Xena. "Those are memories of her life with you, they hold no meaning for anyone here." Having delivered the crushing blow she turns and stalks away, leaving the warrior standing in the square.
Slowly the villagers drift off whispering among themselves. Xena stands as still as a statue, for once her face reveals the pain she is suffering. Hoping to offer some comfort I reach for her shoulder. "Xena, what she said..."
"Is all true." answers the warrior.
"No! It's not." I argue, disparately searching for the right words. "The Gods were responsible for this, they have no right to blame you."
"It's my fault they lost a daughter, Joxer. They have every right to blame me...and to hate me." Turning toward the horses. "Besides, you can't hurt the Gods and they don't care if you hate them. People need someone of flesh and bone to blame." Stopping she faces me. "If blaming me eases their pain, then so be it." Not waiting for a reply she mounts Argo and slowly rides toward the main gate.
Climbing atop my own horse I take one last look at Poteidaia. All those nights by the campfire listening to Gabrielle talk about her home I always thought my first visit here would be a joyful event. After wishing for so long to see this place, I now wish I'd never heard of it. 'Just another one of the Fate's cruel games.' I scoff before turning my mount to follow Xena.
Dark storm clouds are moving in from the west as Poteidaia comes into sight. Somehow their presence seems appropriate, given the nature of our visit. Studying the cracked and sun bleached walls surrounding the small village, I can't help feeling I've been here before. Gabrielle's stories about her home seemed so real, it's exactly as she described it. We stop just outside the main gate. Glancing to the side I find blue eyes staring back at me. They look almost apologia. Without a word she looks away kicking Argo into motion. My own horse follows. Inside the main square we dismount, leading the horses through the open market place.
"Saraphen?!" calls a woman stopping before us. "Sister, is it really you?"
"Alletta!" cries Saraphen running forward to embrace the older woman.
Xena and I exchange weary glances as we watch the reunion.
"Xena!" squeals a small dark haired figure rushing across the square. The young woman throws herself at the warrior's waist wrapping her in a massive bear hug.
Xena seems as surprised by the greeting as I am.
"Lila." I hear the warrior say as she places a gentle hand on the younger woman's back. I notice her surprise has turned to what could almost be considered affection.
So this is Lila. Gabby had described her to me a hundred times and as usual the bard's description was on the mark.
Pulling away from the warrior the girl smiles up at her. "I knew you and Gab would bring Saraphen home."
Xena's normally stone features break into a sad smile and she appears to be fighting back tears. Lila fails to notice the warrior's reaction, having turned away to gather Saraphen in smothering embrace. A crowd is gathering as friends and family come to welcome home one of their own.
"Lila." cries Saraphen holding the younger woman close.
"Hey, Saraphen ease up a little." chuckles the girl. "You're breaking my ribs." Pulling away to stare into Saraphen's tear stained face. "What's wrong?"
Saraphen takes Lila hands in her own dropping her head she tries to compose herself, it's not working.
"Hey, it can't be that bad." teases the girl hoping to ease the tension.
Saraphen meets her gaze. "It's Gabrielle."
Lila's smile slips away along with the color from her cheeks. "Wh...what about Gab?"
"Lila she's...she's dead."
"No." replies the girl pulling away. "No, I don't believe you."
"I'm sorry." answers Saraphen reaching for her.
"No." frantically Lila turns to the warrior. "Xena tell her, tell her it's a mistake." The absolute despair in her plea is gut wrenching.
"Lila...it's true." compassion softens Xena's features as she offers a hand to the younger woman.
"No!" cries the girl backing away from the warrior. Fire flickers in her eyes as anger replaces despair. "You were supposed to protect her!" The accusation echoes through the square.
"I know." Xena whispers.
Lila drops to her knees as sobs shake her petite body. Xena steps forward to comfort the grieving girl. Perhaps they will be able to comfort each other. She reaches out to Lila only to be pushed aside by Saraphen and several other village women.
Ignoring the rude treatment Xena steps aside allowing the girl's friends to care for her. Anger grips me as I watch the scene. 'What's wrong with these people can't they see Xena's hurting too?'
From across the square a couple rushes to join the crowd. Pushing through the woman kneels beside the sobbing girl. "Lila, what's wrong daughter?"
"She's...gone..."
"Who's gone?"
"Gabrielle..." sobs the girl before clutching to her mother.
Holding the girl close the woman cast a fearful look at the man beside her. Silently he raises and pushes through the crowd to stand before Xena. Though he is nearly a foot shorter than the warrior he glares up at her. "What is going on Xena? Where is my daughter?"
Xena seems to take no offense to his hostile tone. In fact her face softens as she speaks. "The Other Side."
Clearly shaken by the warrior's reply the man staggers back a step. "Wh...what?"
"It's true, Herodotus." answers Saraphen moving to his side.
He stares through the young woman for a moment before turning on Xena. "This is your fault!" he screams pointing an accusing finger at the warrior. "If you had sent her home instead of filling her head with silly tales of hero nonsense this never would have happened!"
"Herodotus...I'm sorry." she whispers.
"You're sorry!" his body trembles with emotion. "You kill my daughter and all you can say is your sorry!" Shaking a calloused fist in the warrior's face. "Do you think you pathetic apologies can ease the pain of a lost child!?"
"no." whispers the warrior.
"Leave! Leave here now and take your apologies with you! You're no longer welcome in Poteidaia, Xena!" Taking a threatening step toward the warrior. "And if you ever come near any of my family again I'll kill you with my bare hands! Now leave!"
"Stop it!" I shriek unable to stand it anymore. If she won't defend herself I will.
"Who are you?!" demands the enraged man.
"Joxer, don't." pleas Xena.
"I'm Joxer." Forcing myself to stand tall. "A friend of Gabrielle's... and Xena's."
He moves toward me, his voice dropping to a deadly tone. "'Friend's' of Xena's aren't welcome here either."
"Husband." The woman grabs his arm forcing him to look at her. "Take Lila home."
Angrily he turns back to Xena but before he can speak his wife places a gentle hand against his cheek forcing him to meet her gaze. "Husband, your daughter needs you."
All the anger drains away causing his shoulders to sag under the weight of her words, with a surrendering nod he moves to the sobbing girl. Offering reassuring words he helps her to her feet. The crowd watches silently as they make their way out of the square.
As they disappear from sight the older woman turns to Xena.
Swallowing back tears Xena begins to speak. "Hecuba, I don't know what to say. I know it doesn't mean much but I am sorry for your loss, if..."
A sharp slap cuts the warrior off in midsentence. Though the older woman's hand struck hard and fast I know Xena could have easily stopped it, had she wanted too. I also know the pain in the warrior's eyes is not from the blow.
"What would you know of my 'loss'? I don't want your apologies 'Warrior Princess'. They won't bring my daughter back."
Xena bows her head without replying.
I can't stand it anymore. "It wasn't Xena's fault. Gabrielle died trying to stop Dahok."
"Is that suppose to ease my families suffering?" asks the older woman glaring at me. "Do you think her dieing some 'heroic' death makes her loss any less painful?"
Unable to face her accusing stare I look to the ground. "No." I finally manage to choke out.
Releasing me from her gaze she turns it on Xena. "Gabrielle believed she could change your violent ways. She believed there was good in you and somehow she could bring it out. I warned her about traveling with you. Death is your only true companion Xena. Your very presence reeks of it. She follows you everywhere, consuming all who come near you. I knew it was only a matter of time till it took my little girl." she turns to leave, but hesitating turns back to the warrior. "I've often wondered how you escaped punishment for your past. Now I realize you haven't, the Gods have cursed you to wander this world alone." She turns once more to me. "Follow her if you wish, but be warned Death is a jealous companion. She will only tolerate your presents for so long." Without wanting for an answer she turns to walk away.
"Wait." calls Xena to the retreating woman.
"Why?"
"I have some of Gabrielle's things. I...I thought you might like to have them."
"What type of things?" ask the woman suspiciously.
Xena moves to Argo, reaching for the leather bag Gabrielle carried for so long. "Clothes mostly and some things she gathered over the last few years." Lifting the bag she adds with a heavy sense of regret. "She didn't have much."
Watching calloused fingers gently brush across the worn leather I can only wonder at the memories, which have brought a hint of a smile to the warrior's face.
"A few mementos from her travels" slowly the smile reaches her eyes. "and her scrolls." Reverently Xena offers the bag to the waiting woman.
Hecuba's face becomes stone cold as she stares at the offered bag. Finally she turns the icy gaze on Xena. "Those are memories of her life with you, they hold no meaning for anyone here." Having delivered the crushing blow she turns and stalks away, leaving the warrior standing in the square.
Slowly the villagers drift off whispering among themselves. Xena stands as still as a statue, for once her face reveals the pain she is suffering. Hoping to offer some comfort I reach for her shoulder. "Xena, what she said..."
"Is all true." answers the warrior.
"No! It's not." I argue, disparately searching for the right words. "The Gods were responsible for this, they have no right to blame you."
"It's my fault they lost a daughter, Joxer. They have every right to blame me...and to hate me." Turning toward the horses. "Besides, you can't hurt the Gods and they don't care if you hate them. People need someone of flesh and bone to blame." Stopping she faces me. "If blaming me eases their pain, then so be it." Not waiting for a reply she mounts Argo and slowly rides toward the main gate.
Climbing atop my own horse I take one last look at Poteidaia. All those nights by the campfire listening to Gabrielle talk about her home I always thought my first visit here would be a joyful event. After wishing for so long to see this place, I now wish I'd never heard of it. 'Just another one of the Fate's cruel games.' I scoff before turning my mount to follow Xena.