"Learning to Love"



*Where am I? I can't see anything. Where is everybody? Mama? Papa? Aya? Where are you?!* Nauki heard her mind echoing in the void where she was stuck. No one could hear her. She felt alone, empty, without a cause as she lay dormiant in the darkness. She wanted to get up. She needed to get up. Nauki had to protect her family.
*Where is everybody?! Why can't I move? What is happening to me? Mama...Mama, where are you?! P-Papa! Inu-Yasha!! Somebody, please...hear me..I can't hear any of you...* Nauki's heart cried out into the nothingness, hoping someone would hear her. She couldn't take much more of this. Her body was too weak for her to move, or to communicate. *Aya! Aya, can you hear me? Aya...* There was no answer. *Aya...,* she called again, trying to stretch out her mind as far as it would go.
Oda started to pass the back room, his head lowered, thinking to himself of what his sister had said the other day. He didn't figure that whether he cared or not, mattered. He still didn't understand how his sister got hurt. His father wouldn't tell them. *I don't get it..Demons are powerful, tricky, and cunning..How could Nia have gotten hurt..? She's part demon like all of us.* He walked even slower as he neared the corner to the room.
Very cautiously, Oda peaked around the corner. His sister was laying with her back to the floor, her head turned to the right a little. Her breathing was almost unnoticeable. He looked down the hallway before he walked in. Oda was sure Aya would tell on him, and that his mother would stop him.
His footsteps hit the floor carefully, not making a sound. Oda was half expecting Nauki to open her eyes, growling at him. She didn't move. He felt bad as it was considering what he had said. Maybe he was too rough on her.
Oda sat down next to his sister, slowly. He leaned over her, watching her. The bandages around her chest were still blood soaked. Nauki had been bleeding off and on for over a week. Raising his claw, Oda touched the bandage. He turned his palm over, examining the blood. His eyes started to well up. Oda shook his head, not wanting to cry. Crying was the sign of weakness.
*Demons are suppose to be powerful!* Oda examined his palm more. *Nauki's blood is the same as mine. If..this happened to her..that means it could happen to me..* He closed his claw, lowering his arm. Oda looked back to his sister. She looked peaceful.
He lowered his head close to hers to see if she would sniff him. She didn't. Oda tilted his head, confused. He nudged her chin with his nose. Nauki remained still. She didn't groan, whimper, or anything. "Why aren't you sniffing me, or growling at me," he asked softly.
"She doesn't know you're there," Miroku said from the doorway. He was watching Oda with a great deal of sadness. The twelve-year-old had never seen someone as badly hurt as Nauki. Miroku was sure the boy was asking himself why she could have gotten hurt.
Oda glanced behind him to see the monk standing in the doorway. He turned back around. Miroku and Sango had raised the three of them while their parents were stuck on the other side of the BoneEater's Well. Oda was generally calm unless he was provoked, or felt threatened. He was slowly following the beliefs that Miroku had been teaching him. "Why doesn't she know I'm here," he asked, still looking at his sister.
Miroku entered the room, his staff clinking on the floor. He looked over Nauki. "She doesn't know you're here because she's badly hurt. Nauki's mind is in a dark place while her body is recovering."
"She..She can't tell when it's morning, or night? Or know if someone comes in?"
Miroku shook his head, closing his eyes.
"Then..how will she know if someone is here to hurt her, or not?"
"She doesn't," Miroku said. He could sense the boy's emotions tangling within himself. Oda had never given any kind of thought to others around him. In that respect, he was exactly like how his father used to be.
"If Nia's not here...then where is she?" Oda turned his head away, not wanting Miroku to see his eyes well up again.
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Oda sat down by the river looking across it. He didn't hear his father walk up behind him. He had been thinking a lot about all of the fights him and his sisters had had. Oda didn't want Nauki to die. He guessed, in a way, he did care about her. Most of the fights he had with her, were over something stupid. He didn't mean for any of it to get out of hand.
Inu-Yasha could smell the tears coming out of Oda's eyes. They had a salty smell to them. He walked further towards his son. Oda didn't hear him, he was too wrapped up in his own thoughts. Inu-Yasha bent down, wrapping his arms around his son, holding him tightly.
He had never hugged Oda before, only Aya and Nauki. At first, he felt Oda jump, then he relaxed when he saw that it was Inu-Yasha. "Oda, are you alright," he asked.
Oda lowered his head. "Papa, is Nauki...going to die...," he asked, afraid. Oda choked on his words. For once in his life, he needed someone besides himself. Oda held onto his father, not wanting to let go.
Inu-Yasha was aware that his son was breaking right in front of him. He had heard about how violent and full of aggression Oda usually was. He wrapped his arms around him tighter, holding him harder. Inu-Yasha rubbed his nose against his son's head. He closed his eyes for a moment. "I'm doing everything in my power to stop her from getting any worse. I just hope that what we're doing is helping her."
Oda swallowed. His father had never told them how Nauki had gotten hurt. He wanted to know. "Papa, how did Nauki get hurt so bad? She's a demon. Demons are suppose to be invincible." He felt his father sit down behind him.
"Demons..aren't invincible, Oda. They can get hurt just as bad as anyone. And so can I. I have almost been killed in my life. If it wasn't for your mother, Old Kaede, Miroku, and Sango, I wouldn't have survived any of the encounters I had. It's not the fact of what you are that makes you great, it's who you have standing by your side."
"No one stands by my side," Oda said sadly. He leaned into his father, thinking. "I guess I shouldn't be worried, because I've asked for what I have. I've treated Aya and Nia badly."
"They haven't left you, Raven. Your sisters love you, that's why they fight with you. They're suppose to. In a way, it's their job."
"It's more than that, Papa. I hated both of them for how they acted. I wanted to change them. Aya gets on my nerves because she doesn't see situations in the same way I do. Nia is always foiling my plans and attempts, and that's why I have constantly had 'knock down drag out' fights with her." He rubbed his eyes, not looking at Inu-Yasha. "I wish I could take all of it back. Nia is hurt so bad, Miroku said her mind is in darkness. She doesn't know when it's night, or day, or if someone is coming to hurt her. Papa, I don't know who Nauki is and she doesn't know me. I want to know her now."
Inu-Yasha listened to his son's confessions. He guessed that Nauki's tragedy had opened Oda's eyes. "Raven, all you can do is be there for her. Nauki may survive, she may not. Her wound is extensive. She has already died in my arms once when she saved me."
Oda's ears picked up the last part that his father had said. "Why didn't you tell us that Nauki saved you? I thought she had gotten into trouble by doing something she wasn't suppose to. Sango always warns us about using our abilities, and being out of reach of protection."
Inu-Yasha faintly smiled. He was glad that Sango had taught them morals, and Miroku had taught his son a little bit of peace. "I was afraid for you and Aya to know what had happened. I didn't want to lose you two's trust." He sighed, breathing deeply. "I have been grieving since it happened, Oda. Your sister means a lot to me. In the past, I closed myself to her when I found out who she was. Nauki is my daughter, but she came to me in a different way than you and Aya."
Oda didn't understand. "Papa, I don't understand anything you are telling me." He turned around, looking at his father. Inu-Yasha was staring off like he was in a dream.
"I found your sister in a forest during the winter. She was hanging upside-down, her leg caught in a trap. Nauki had been left to die in the middle of nowhere, hanging from a large tree. That is where she got the scar on her ankle. When I brought her down, I took her to Kaede, who helped heal her. Me and your mother watched over her for a few days. When Nauki came around, she surprised me. She wasn't afraid of me and clung to me. Her smile brought me around. It made me realize that I did have some good in me, even though at the time, I didn't want to admit it. I was in love with your mother, but was too afraid to tell her.
In a way, Nauki helped me and Kagome become closer. We both learned how to raise her, and what our feelings meant. Your sister was always with us, loving on us, and," he laughed a little, "punishing me when I deserved it. In the back of my mind, I wanted to know where she came from. She was a sweet, shy, afraid little girl full of love. It baffled me to why she took to me instantly. I'm part demon, and most humans are afraid of me, and what we are. A long time ago, when you and Aya were five years-old, I asked a magic stone where Nauki came from. Instead of telling me with words, it showed me with pictures. I was so horrified and shocked, I started to ignore your sister for who she was. I couldn't get over the fact that she had came from my heart."
Oda hugged his father around the neck. "Papa, we are all from your heart. Mama told Aya something about Nia being taken from you when your heart was badly wounded. She said that the wounded part became Nauki."
Inu-Yasha nodded slowly.
"I had turned Little One away because she was just like me. I had no idea that she would start to image me when she got older. Oda, I did a bad thing turning away from her. She had no one when she was little. It wasn't Nauki's fault for being taken away from me."
"Papa, just show her you do care. That's all you can do. If Nauki really loves us, wouldn't she forgive us for being stubborn?"
Inu-Yasha nudged Oda's cheek with his nose, then started to rub his cheek against his son's. Oda closed his eyes letting his father show affection to him. "Kagome seems to think that Nauki forgave us a long time ago because she is still with us."
Oda laid his head on his father's shoulder. "I hope she doesn't have anything against me..I didn't mean anything I said, or what I did."
"Just be there for her, Raven. She might surprise you," Inu-Yasha said as the sun went down.
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It was the middle of the night. The crickets chirped outside. Aya couldn't sleep. For some reason, she had found herself wandering to the back room where her sister was. Aya rubbed her eyes, peaking in. Her father was laying next to Nauki asleep. She shuffled a little, his ears picking up her sound.
Inu-Yasha raised his head tiredly. He looked to the doorway. "Moonbeam, you're suppose to be asleep." He sat up as she came in. Her eyes were fixed on her sister.
"I couldn't sleep. Something was telling me to wake up. More like calling me." Aya examined her sister. She looked alright. Aya walked farther in. She stood next to her father.
Inu-Yasha reached up, putting his arms around his daughter's waist. He pulled her down to where she fell into his lap. As Aya leaned against him, he put his arms around her waist, resting his claws in her lap.
Aya wanted to touch Nauki. She needed to know that she was still alive. "Papa, can..I touch her?"
Inu-Yasha nudged the back of Aya's head.
She leaned forward, her claw lightly touching her sister's arm. Nauki didn't move at the touch. Aya sighed, taking her claw away. "I wish she knew I was here..."
Inu-Yasha pulled her back. "She does, Moonbeam." He licked the tips of his daugher's ears. Aya needed to go to sleep. Her mind was fixed only on her sister's welfare.
She knew what he was doing. It was an old trick of his that he used to use on them. "Pa..pa..I don't..want to go..to sleep." Aya closed her eyes as her father started to lick her cheek. Before she knew it, Inu-Yasha was leaning, pulling her towards the floor.
He wrapped his arms protectively around her as he rubbed the back of her head with his nose. Aya was falling to sleep faster than she was ready for. Her body jerked a little, then she relaxed. Inu-Yasha wished he could wrap his arms around his entire family. He lifted his right arm, stretching out until he touched Nauki. He held her claw as he drifted off to sleep.
The ball bounced away from him as he was playing on the bridge, the water underneath sparkling in the sunlight. Inu-Yasha ran to retrieve the ball as it rolled into some grass. He was laughing happily, his mother sitting near him. Inu-Yasha was four years-old.
He turned around to look at his mother, but she wasn't there anymore. Several large men were towering over him, anger on their faces. "Half-breed, " they started to yell, raising their fists. "There's no place for the likes of you," a man shouted. Inu-Yasha stepped back. He lowered his gaze. He had no idea what a half-breed was, or why it was so bad to be one. "He should live somewhere else," he heard a man say.
"I...w-was...j-just...g-getting..my ball," Inu-Yasha said, stuttering. The men weren't having any of it. The second he spoke up, the more they started to redicule him for what he was. Inu-Yasha started to cry, his heart breaking. Where was his mother? She always made things better.
Something jumped out of the grass behind him. It landed in front of him, snarling as its back was raised. He couldn't really see what it was. It was a dark shadowy figure with red, bursting eyes. All Inu-Yasha could make out was its teeth and claws.
The men who had been picking on him, armed themselves with weapons. The thing came closer to the men, snarling, its back raising. Inu-Yasha watched fearfully as the thing bit through two of the men. They vanished. The rest of the men vanished when the monster stomped on them.
The beast turned around. All he could see was its red, glowing eyes. The shadowy animal sat in front of him. Inu-Yasha's skin crawled as he shaked. The animal was watching him. It began to raise its head back, then started to howl at the moon. It had turned dark suddenly. As Inu-Yasha watched, the monster's form began to fade as it continued to howl. It's howl was replaced by that of a little girl's. The figure faded to turn into a little girl, crouched low to the ground, her head back as the monster's had been.
She lowered her head to look at him, a faint smile on her face. He knew her. Inu-Yasha had seen her before somewhere. She was close to his age with short brown hair, long tresses by her ears, and purple eyes. His mouth dropped, the girl seeming to glow with radiance in the moonlight.
Inu-Yasha rubbed his eyes, wiping the tears away as he held his ball. "Y-you're..very pretty," he breathed out.
The girl sat on her rear, rocking herself as she held her feet in her hands. "Are you a spirit," she asked. She tilted her head at him, curious to what he was.
"N-no..I'm..a..half-breed," he said, looking down. "Are..you an angel?"
"I dunno. You're very handsome," the girl said. She stopped rocking herself to peer at him more closely.
Inu-Yasha walked closer to the girl. She wasn't so scarey now that she had turned into her regular self. "Why did you kill those men?"
The girl scoffed. "They were asking for it."
"My mama says that killing is wrong," Inu-Yasha said, studying the girl.
"What's a mama?" She tilted her head the other way.
"Don't you have a mama? It's someone who is nice, and caring...who takes care of you."
The girl shook her head. "No, but I have a Spirit." She reached forward, pushing in his nose a bit.
Inu-Yasha raised a brow. "Do you have a name..?" He sat down in front of her.
"Not yet," she answered back. The girl leaned forward, wrapping her arms around the little half-demon.
Inu-Yasha wrapped his arms back around her. He had found a new friend; someone to play with. "If I had a daughter like you, I'd call her Nauki," he said.
The girl closed her eyes, laying her head on his shoulder. "If I had a papa like you, I'd protect him and never let him out of my sight."
"Can I keep you," Inu-Yasha asked, the wind blowing a little.
"For how long," the little girl asked.
"Until I'm ready to take care of you," he said, smiling.
"Where would you put me," the girl smiled back, closing her eyes.
"Right here," Inu-Yasha put his little claw over his heart.
Inu-Yasha blinked his adult eyes. He was still sitting on his rear in the same area where he had seen the little girl. Where had she gone? He looked around for her. Then he looked down. She was still in the same spot with him, only her head was laying in his lap.
Inu-Yasha ran his claw through the girl's long hair. He knew it was her, only..she looked more like him. Inu-Yasha reached forward, wrapping his arms around her. He gently pulled her up till she was sitting in his lap. She wasn't moving. He nudged her forehead with his nose.
Inu-Yasha woke up from the bizarre dream. He had never had a dream like that before. Careful as not to wake Aya, he made his way over to Nauki. Inu-Yasha wondered for a split second if the dream was telling him that that's how Nauki originally became a part of him.
"I'm ready to take care of you, Little One," he said a little in sorrow. Even in his dreams, she was still hurt. He wanted Nauki to hear him so badly. Considering she was having difficulty communicating with him in his dreams, Inu-Yasha figured she was getting worse.