Part Three of Twenty Seven Point Six

Batman frowned. "I don't think I can do that."

Shayera turned to look at him. "Do you want to impress her or not?"

"I want to maintain my dignity while impressing her."

Shayera snorted. "We wear tights in public, genius. So just try it. I hear it drives all the girls outside of America nuts." She added under her breath, so quietly that he didn't hear her. "Or, at least it used to. Back in the day."

And Diana did grow up outside of America, she thought.

Batman glowered for a moment, then took a deep breath, spun around, grabbing his crotch and bending his knees so that he was poised on his toes. "Ow!" he said.

"No! You sound like you hurt yourself." Shayera did the move, ended on Ow! and said, "See? It has to be done so that the Ow! is more like a funky cry. Use the same type of breath and effort you would with a karate kick. But instead of Hi-Yah! it is Ow!"

"I don't make noises when I kick," Batman said. "That would hardly help me sneak up on anyone."

Shayera rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She pulled a CD from her shelf.

Batman grimaced. He'd known he'd seen that move she'd shown him somewhere. On the front cover of the jewel case, a man in leather clothing glared out at his audience. Red letters across the front declared that he was 'Bad'.

Somehow, although many women seemed to be attracted to bad boys, he didn't think that song would do anything for Diana.

"I don't want to sing that I'm 'bad'. She thinks that I'm a jerk right now, I don't want to confirm her current opinion."

Shayera gave him a withering glance. "I know that. So I chose a song that had her name in it – nothing is better than a guy who seems to sing directly to, and for, a specific woman."

"It's a song about a woman named Diana?"

"Yes," Hawkgirl said, slipping the CD into the player. She threw the sleeve with the lyrics at Batman. "Now sing along. It's track number nine."

He flipped through the small booklet as the heavy, throbbing music started. The singer had already begun when he finally found the tiny lines of the song, and he rushed to catch up to him, began automatically reading the words without really registering their meaning.

"No!" Shayera shouted over the music. "Sing, don't read!"

Batman gave her a Batglare, but complied, beginning in the middle of the first verse:

I've Been Here Times Before
But I Was Too Blind To See
That You Seduce Every Man
This Time You Won't Seduce Me

"Uh, isn't this exactly the opposite of the message I want to give her? And insulting as well?" Batman wondered.

"Shut up! Sing!"

A Batglower, but he sang.

She's Saying That's Ok
Hey Baby Do What You Please
I Have The Stuff That You Want
I Am The Thing That You Need
She Looked Me Deep In The Eyes
She's Touchin' Me So To Start
She Says There's No Turnin' Back
She Trapped Me In Her Heart

Well, maybe it isn't so bad, Batman thought. Looking into eyes, touching, hearts – that was all kind of feminine and mushy, even if the beat of the music wasn't romantic at all. He sang the next part.

Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, Nah
Dirty Diana, No
Dirty Diana
Let Me Be!

Batman stopped. Glowered at Shayera, who was giggling uncontrollably.

She wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She laughed harder. "I couldn't resist!"

"Those tickets to the Riviera are slipping away, fast," he growled.

She slowly controlled her giggles. "There's another song on the CD that might work – it's called 'Liberian Girl', but you could easily change it to 'Themyscirian Girl'."

Batman flipped a page over, read the lyrics. "Liberian girl, you came and you changed my world, a love so brand new." He paused, then used Shayera's suggestion. "Themyscirian girl, you came and you changed me girl, a feeling so true." He skipped down the song, muttering. "…more precious than any pearl…just like in the movies…"

He threw the sleeve down on the desk. "I can't sing that garbage." He added, "And I'm not going to spin around and grab my crotch, either."

Shayera gave him a hard stare. "But you will dance. And you will sing."

He began to stare back at her, then remembered that it was futile. "Yes," he gritted out.

"Okay, so you are too manly for a cheesy love song," Shayera said, tapping her teeth with a fingernail as she thought.

"That's right," he muttered. Manly. Bat-manly.

"And your problem is that you insulted Superman. So we need some way to let Diana know that you really aren't an ass, and that you appreciate Superman."

"Those are, indeed, the facts. Your detective skills continue to astound me," he said.

She glanced at him witheringly, then walked back over to her shelf of music, pulled out another CD and tossed it to him.

He read the name of the group, frowned. "Are we going to have to use and/or ruin the Batmobile for this?"

TO BE CONTINUED