Chapter 5
~ It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, and hour to like
someone, and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget
someone. ~
Inuyasha stops his wandering as soon as he comes to the tree that has many haunted memories of his past. "Maybe you were right Kikyo. We were alone and always will be. I guess were just destined to be alone. Why does alone have to be so lonely?" Inuyasha hangs his head and sits down in front of the tree. "Was I right to leave Kagome stranded in that village? Of course I was. All I was doing was causing her pain." "Maybe she wasn't in as much pain as you thought she was." Inuyasha looks up quickly to see Kikyo standing just a ways away. "Kikyo? What are you doing here?" "Just to let you know that you are close to your demise Inuyasha." "I am not going to fight you Kikyo." Inuyasha stands up and starts to walk over to Kikyo. "Don't come any closer Inuyasha. I suggest you pay attention. My soul has finally come to a point where it understands. After I speak to you here you will never hear from me again."
"Kikyo no." "Stop and listen Inuyasha." Inuyasha stops dead in his tracks. "Do you remember when I kissed you?" "How could I forget?" "Good. What I said then was true Inuyasha. What I wanted most when I was alive was to embrace you as I did and kiss you as I did. I finally did even though I couldn't possibly feel how it felt to be held by you in such a way. When you helped that girl I felt sorrow to know that she meant more to you than I Inuyasha." "Kikyo." "I went and talked with Kaede close after that, and she told me some things. She told me that this girl has healed your heart and calmed your soul. Is this true Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha not wanting to admit it to Kikyo lowers his head. Kikyo looks at Inuyasha with a calming look. "I found her in Naraku's castle Inuyasha." Inuyasha's head comes flying up. "You did? What happened?" "I found her sitting with Naraku at his dinner table. I asked Naraku why he had called upon me and why she was there. He told me that he could restore my soul if I were to agree to kill you and return the rest of the shards to him." "Did you make the deal? Is that why you're here?" "No Inuyasha that's not why I am here telling you this. I asked him for some time with Kagome. She talked to me about you Inuyasha. She talked to me about things she has already told me. She said that she understood why I hurt and why I resented her. Once she had laid it all out in front of me I could not ignore it any longer. She told me that we both have the same desire. I asked her what she meant and do you know what she told me Inuyasha?"
"No." Kikyo starts to walk closer to Inuyasha. "She said that we both desire to be with you." Then Kikyo lays her hand on Inuyasha's cheek. "She confessed so to me. She said that she doesn't know why you can't give the thought of me up. She had pain in her eyes when she said this to me. She told me that there's not a moment that passes that you don't think of me. She asked me if I knew how she knew." Kikyo takes a moment to let what she's said so far sink in. "I said I had no clue. She told me that she knows when she catches you by yourself. When you're by yourself she can see pain in your eyes, and when you face her she can see shame in your eyes. Shame for the fact that you still think about me when she's standing right in front of you. Do you understand what I am saying to you Inuyasha?"
"No Kikyo I am afraid I don't." "But you do. I can sense it. This talk saddens you Inuyasha I can feel it in my bones." "Kikyo please stop this torture." "I can not. What I am trying to get you to see is what you have in front of you. I am finally letting go, and I can not be here with you always. Your thoughts should not be plagued by me anymore Inuyasha. Kagome is the closest thing to me you will get. Do you still love me Inuyasha?" "Yes Kikyo." "But you also desire her as well." "I do." "Don't be a fool Inuyasha. Will you hold me for a while before I go Inuyasha?" Inuyasha hesitates for a moment and then wraps his arms around Kikyo. "Please don't leave Kikyo. I couldn't stand for it again." Kikyo says nothing, but she wraps her own arms around Inuyasha.
For a long moment they stand in each other's arms. The sun shinning down on them and the forest around them. "Thank you Inuyasha." Kikyo pulls away from Inuyasha and backs up a few steps. "Good- bye Inuyasha." With that her soul collecting demons come and swoop her up into the air. "Good- bye Kikyo." Inuyasha watches silently as he is left alone once again, but this time with thoughts of what Kagome told Kikyo. * She desires to be with me. Do I really show shame in my eyes when I look at Kagome after I was just thinking about Kikyo? I can't believe I was such a fool. Well it's too late to go back. She's probably happy with Sango and Miroku right now. Why disturb her? Kagome. *
Kagome starts tearing through the trees until she can see Kaede's village just ahead. * I made it. I'm coming Inuyasha. * Kagome runs into the village and runs for Kaede's hut. "Miss Kagome what are you doing back?" Kagome grinds to a halt and turns to see one of the elder villagers. "I am looking for Kaede have you seen her recently?" The villager nods and points towards the fields. "She's out in the fields collecting grain." "Thank you." Kagome runs off towards the fields. When she spots Kaede she starts to slow her pace. "Kaede!" Kaede turns and in shock sees Kagome running towards her. "Kagome what is ye doing here? Where be Inuyasha?" "That's what I was about to ask you." Kagome says as she reaches Kaede. "Here child sit ye be out of breath from running. Would ye mind explaining why ye be alone?"
Kagome lowers her head, but knows she must tell Kaede. "Oh Kaede he left. I failed him and he left." "What ye be talking about child?" "When we were out looking for the jewel shards Sango was injured. So we stopped by a village that agreed to tend to her. We were told to go ahead by Miroku. They said that they would catch up. So Inuyasha and I went out to find more shards. We stopped that night in a clearing and made camp. While we were there I felt as though someone was watching us. So Inuyasha pushed me behind him to protect me. I got angry and picked up my bow, and pushed him aside. I told him that I could defend myself. So him being his stubborn self turned around for but a second, and in that second I was abducted by Naraku." "Naraku?" "Yes Naraku." "I see."
"Well he kept me hostage at his castle. He made me wear some skimpy outfit and I had to have dinner with him. Well when we were having dinner his men brought in Kikyo. They had a discussion about Inuyasha and me. Naraku said he'd restore her soul if she would kill Inuyasha and bring him back the shard fragments which we posses. She asked if we could be left alone to talk for a moment. Naraku agreed and left the room. We had a talk about Her and Inuyasha and in the end she saved me.
She helped me escape. I ran as fast as I could away from the castle. I was injured from the cliff I had to climb down, and then I came across a demon that started to chase me. I ran and when I came out of the trees I saw Inuyasha running towards me. I couldn't believe it. I thought I would never see him again. He saved me, and Sango wrapped my wounds up. He was so concerned for me. That night he even fell asleep with me in his arms. Then the next morning when I said I was ok to go look for more shards he told me no. I asked him why and he said that they needed to get me back to the village so that I could heal properly.
Miroku opened his mouth and said that he was worried sick and he wants me to be fine so that I can stay with him for a long time to come. I asked Inuyasha if that was true and he stuck his nose in the air and crossed his arms. He said of course not he just wants to get back on the road to look for more shards. I was so hurt, but I didn't want to argue so I got on Kelala and went to the village. When I came out of my hut later that afternoon I saw Miroku staring off into the distance and I asked him what was wrong. He said that Inuyasha has to go away for a while and that he'd be back as soon as possible.
I turned him around and looked into his eyes. As soon as I did I knew that he was gone. I couldn't grasp why Inuyasha was being so selfish. So that night I sneaked away and started to look for Inuyasha. I couldn't let him just run away from me. It wasn't right!" "Calm down and tell me the rest Kagome." "I have been searching for at least three days now, and I came across Kouga during my search. He tried to keep me in his cave, but I refused to stay. While I was there I heard him say that the new moon was just but a few days away, and then I wouldn't have to worry about Inuyasha anymore. I had totally forgot about the new moon. I have to find Inuyasha Kaede. If Kouga holds true to his threat I may be the only thing that can save Inuyasha. He can't hold his own against a full demon in that state. You have to help me."
"I will do my best Kagome. Let us go get something to eat." Kagome stands and helps Kaede off of the ground. "Sounds great Kaede." So after telling her that long story Kaede and Kagome go back down to the village for some well needed fuel. Finally Kagome sits down for a decent meal at her little village. She likes to consider it hers since she knows everyone, and in a way she is half priestess. * Kikyo what have you done to Inuyasha? * Kagome even when eating can't stop thinking about Kikyo and Inuyasha.
As the night starts to become young Kagome walks out towards the fields to think. "During these past few days whenever I think of you Inuyasha I think of a song. A song by the Dixie Chicks. You wouldn't know who they are." Kagome sits on a stump and sings the song that has been plaguing her mind. " I've sure enjoyed the rain But I'm looking forward to the sun You have to feel the pain When you loose the love you gave someone I thought by now the time Would take away these lonely tears I hope you're doing fine all alone But where do I go from here 'cause
Without you I'm not ok And without you I've lost my way My hearts stuck In second place ooh Without you
Well I never thought I'd be Lying here without you by my side It seems unreal to me that The life you promised was a lie You made it look so easy Making love into memories I guess you got what you wanted But what about me 'cause
Without you I'm not ok And without you I've lost my way My heart's stuck in second place ooh Without you
Somebody tell my head to try to tell my heart That I'm better off without you 'cause baby I can't live
Without you I'm not ok And without you I've lost my way My heart's stuck in second place ooh Without you without you
"I wish I didn't think of it that way, but you just up and left me Inuyasha. I feel you're close. Please stay where you are so that I can help you."
Kagome goes back to the village, but stays up and watches the fire dance it's many colors about. "Can ye not sleep Kagome?" "Huh? Oh sorry no." "Ye need not apologize. I've had my share of sleepless nights. Ye worry too much about Inuyasha. He will be fine." "Sometimes that's what I worry about. What if he's better off without me? I don't want him to be fine without me Kaede." "I shall leave you alone good- night Kagome." "Good- night Kaede." Kagome rests her chin in the palm of her hand and continues to watch the kindle dance.
The sun comes up and Kagome is saying her good byes to the village and Kaede. "I will make sure that I am careful. Thanks for the herbs Kaede." Kagome walks away while waving to the village. Kagome tries to concentrate on the shards that she knows Inuyasha is carrying. When she reaches the edge of the forest she closes her eyes and concentrates. "This way." Kagome turns right and disappears into the forest. "I hope I get to you before Kouga and his gang do."
{Stay tuned.}
~ It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, and hour to like
someone, and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget
someone. ~
Inuyasha stops his wandering as soon as he comes to the tree that has many haunted memories of his past. "Maybe you were right Kikyo. We were alone and always will be. I guess were just destined to be alone. Why does alone have to be so lonely?" Inuyasha hangs his head and sits down in front of the tree. "Was I right to leave Kagome stranded in that village? Of course I was. All I was doing was causing her pain." "Maybe she wasn't in as much pain as you thought she was." Inuyasha looks up quickly to see Kikyo standing just a ways away. "Kikyo? What are you doing here?" "Just to let you know that you are close to your demise Inuyasha." "I am not going to fight you Kikyo." Inuyasha stands up and starts to walk over to Kikyo. "Don't come any closer Inuyasha. I suggest you pay attention. My soul has finally come to a point where it understands. After I speak to you here you will never hear from me again."
"Kikyo no." "Stop and listen Inuyasha." Inuyasha stops dead in his tracks. "Do you remember when I kissed you?" "How could I forget?" "Good. What I said then was true Inuyasha. What I wanted most when I was alive was to embrace you as I did and kiss you as I did. I finally did even though I couldn't possibly feel how it felt to be held by you in such a way. When you helped that girl I felt sorrow to know that she meant more to you than I Inuyasha." "Kikyo." "I went and talked with Kaede close after that, and she told me some things. She told me that this girl has healed your heart and calmed your soul. Is this true Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha not wanting to admit it to Kikyo lowers his head. Kikyo looks at Inuyasha with a calming look. "I found her in Naraku's castle Inuyasha." Inuyasha's head comes flying up. "You did? What happened?" "I found her sitting with Naraku at his dinner table. I asked Naraku why he had called upon me and why she was there. He told me that he could restore my soul if I were to agree to kill you and return the rest of the shards to him." "Did you make the deal? Is that why you're here?" "No Inuyasha that's not why I am here telling you this. I asked him for some time with Kagome. She talked to me about you Inuyasha. She talked to me about things she has already told me. She said that she understood why I hurt and why I resented her. Once she had laid it all out in front of me I could not ignore it any longer. She told me that we both have the same desire. I asked her what she meant and do you know what she told me Inuyasha?"
"No." Kikyo starts to walk closer to Inuyasha. "She said that we both desire to be with you." Then Kikyo lays her hand on Inuyasha's cheek. "She confessed so to me. She said that she doesn't know why you can't give the thought of me up. She had pain in her eyes when she said this to me. She told me that there's not a moment that passes that you don't think of me. She asked me if I knew how she knew." Kikyo takes a moment to let what she's said so far sink in. "I said I had no clue. She told me that she knows when she catches you by yourself. When you're by yourself she can see pain in your eyes, and when you face her she can see shame in your eyes. Shame for the fact that you still think about me when she's standing right in front of you. Do you understand what I am saying to you Inuyasha?"
"No Kikyo I am afraid I don't." "But you do. I can sense it. This talk saddens you Inuyasha I can feel it in my bones." "Kikyo please stop this torture." "I can not. What I am trying to get you to see is what you have in front of you. I am finally letting go, and I can not be here with you always. Your thoughts should not be plagued by me anymore Inuyasha. Kagome is the closest thing to me you will get. Do you still love me Inuyasha?" "Yes Kikyo." "But you also desire her as well." "I do." "Don't be a fool Inuyasha. Will you hold me for a while before I go Inuyasha?" Inuyasha hesitates for a moment and then wraps his arms around Kikyo. "Please don't leave Kikyo. I couldn't stand for it again." Kikyo says nothing, but she wraps her own arms around Inuyasha.
For a long moment they stand in each other's arms. The sun shinning down on them and the forest around them. "Thank you Inuyasha." Kikyo pulls away from Inuyasha and backs up a few steps. "Good- bye Inuyasha." With that her soul collecting demons come and swoop her up into the air. "Good- bye Kikyo." Inuyasha watches silently as he is left alone once again, but this time with thoughts of what Kagome told Kikyo. * She desires to be with me. Do I really show shame in my eyes when I look at Kagome after I was just thinking about Kikyo? I can't believe I was such a fool. Well it's too late to go back. She's probably happy with Sango and Miroku right now. Why disturb her? Kagome. *
Kagome starts tearing through the trees until she can see Kaede's village just ahead. * I made it. I'm coming Inuyasha. * Kagome runs into the village and runs for Kaede's hut. "Miss Kagome what are you doing back?" Kagome grinds to a halt and turns to see one of the elder villagers. "I am looking for Kaede have you seen her recently?" The villager nods and points towards the fields. "She's out in the fields collecting grain." "Thank you." Kagome runs off towards the fields. When she spots Kaede she starts to slow her pace. "Kaede!" Kaede turns and in shock sees Kagome running towards her. "Kagome what is ye doing here? Where be Inuyasha?" "That's what I was about to ask you." Kagome says as she reaches Kaede. "Here child sit ye be out of breath from running. Would ye mind explaining why ye be alone?"
Kagome lowers her head, but knows she must tell Kaede. "Oh Kaede he left. I failed him and he left." "What ye be talking about child?" "When we were out looking for the jewel shards Sango was injured. So we stopped by a village that agreed to tend to her. We were told to go ahead by Miroku. They said that they would catch up. So Inuyasha and I went out to find more shards. We stopped that night in a clearing and made camp. While we were there I felt as though someone was watching us. So Inuyasha pushed me behind him to protect me. I got angry and picked up my bow, and pushed him aside. I told him that I could defend myself. So him being his stubborn self turned around for but a second, and in that second I was abducted by Naraku." "Naraku?" "Yes Naraku." "I see."
"Well he kept me hostage at his castle. He made me wear some skimpy outfit and I had to have dinner with him. Well when we were having dinner his men brought in Kikyo. They had a discussion about Inuyasha and me. Naraku said he'd restore her soul if she would kill Inuyasha and bring him back the shard fragments which we posses. She asked if we could be left alone to talk for a moment. Naraku agreed and left the room. We had a talk about Her and Inuyasha and in the end she saved me.
She helped me escape. I ran as fast as I could away from the castle. I was injured from the cliff I had to climb down, and then I came across a demon that started to chase me. I ran and when I came out of the trees I saw Inuyasha running towards me. I couldn't believe it. I thought I would never see him again. He saved me, and Sango wrapped my wounds up. He was so concerned for me. That night he even fell asleep with me in his arms. Then the next morning when I said I was ok to go look for more shards he told me no. I asked him why and he said that they needed to get me back to the village so that I could heal properly.
Miroku opened his mouth and said that he was worried sick and he wants me to be fine so that I can stay with him for a long time to come. I asked Inuyasha if that was true and he stuck his nose in the air and crossed his arms. He said of course not he just wants to get back on the road to look for more shards. I was so hurt, but I didn't want to argue so I got on Kelala and went to the village. When I came out of my hut later that afternoon I saw Miroku staring off into the distance and I asked him what was wrong. He said that Inuyasha has to go away for a while and that he'd be back as soon as possible.
I turned him around and looked into his eyes. As soon as I did I knew that he was gone. I couldn't grasp why Inuyasha was being so selfish. So that night I sneaked away and started to look for Inuyasha. I couldn't let him just run away from me. It wasn't right!" "Calm down and tell me the rest Kagome." "I have been searching for at least three days now, and I came across Kouga during my search. He tried to keep me in his cave, but I refused to stay. While I was there I heard him say that the new moon was just but a few days away, and then I wouldn't have to worry about Inuyasha anymore. I had totally forgot about the new moon. I have to find Inuyasha Kaede. If Kouga holds true to his threat I may be the only thing that can save Inuyasha. He can't hold his own against a full demon in that state. You have to help me."
"I will do my best Kagome. Let us go get something to eat." Kagome stands and helps Kaede off of the ground. "Sounds great Kaede." So after telling her that long story Kaede and Kagome go back down to the village for some well needed fuel. Finally Kagome sits down for a decent meal at her little village. She likes to consider it hers since she knows everyone, and in a way she is half priestess. * Kikyo what have you done to Inuyasha? * Kagome even when eating can't stop thinking about Kikyo and Inuyasha.
As the night starts to become young Kagome walks out towards the fields to think. "During these past few days whenever I think of you Inuyasha I think of a song. A song by the Dixie Chicks. You wouldn't know who they are." Kagome sits on a stump and sings the song that has been plaguing her mind. " I've sure enjoyed the rain But I'm looking forward to the sun You have to feel the pain When you loose the love you gave someone I thought by now the time Would take away these lonely tears I hope you're doing fine all alone But where do I go from here 'cause
Without you I'm not ok And without you I've lost my way My hearts stuck In second place ooh Without you
Well I never thought I'd be Lying here without you by my side It seems unreal to me that The life you promised was a lie You made it look so easy Making love into memories I guess you got what you wanted But what about me 'cause
Without you I'm not ok And without you I've lost my way My heart's stuck in second place ooh Without you
Somebody tell my head to try to tell my heart That I'm better off without you 'cause baby I can't live
Without you I'm not ok And without you I've lost my way My heart's stuck in second place ooh Without you without you
"I wish I didn't think of it that way, but you just up and left me Inuyasha. I feel you're close. Please stay where you are so that I can help you."
Kagome goes back to the village, but stays up and watches the fire dance it's many colors about. "Can ye not sleep Kagome?" "Huh? Oh sorry no." "Ye need not apologize. I've had my share of sleepless nights. Ye worry too much about Inuyasha. He will be fine." "Sometimes that's what I worry about. What if he's better off without me? I don't want him to be fine without me Kaede." "I shall leave you alone good- night Kagome." "Good- night Kaede." Kagome rests her chin in the palm of her hand and continues to watch the kindle dance.
The sun comes up and Kagome is saying her good byes to the village and Kaede. "I will make sure that I am careful. Thanks for the herbs Kaede." Kagome walks away while waving to the village. Kagome tries to concentrate on the shards that she knows Inuyasha is carrying. When she reaches the edge of the forest she closes her eyes and concentrates. "This way." Kagome turns right and disappears into the forest. "I hope I get to you before Kouga and his gang do."
{Stay tuned.}