A Thread of Gold – part 4

Disclaimer - The characters in this story are owned by Lucasfilm. I'm only borrowing them for my amusement and hopefully yours. My thanks to JT, Angela and Mona for suggestions and help. This story is for Sheyla as she once told me she liked it.

Manarai Medical Centre

Luke blinked into awareness and moved his body experimentally - pain? There was some but he felt better if he didn't move. He screwed his eyes up while he tried to focus on his surroundings. Leia lay sleeping on a temporary cot in the corner of the room. Monitors and other pieces of medical equipment hummed quietly alongside him. So he was still alive – he hadn't imagined the medics and the intrusive demands of the military, or the worry in his family's expressions. It was a miracle and he was alive to realise it.

Leia and Han had been with him often for he had sensed their presences, but he had been aware of one other presence. Mara. She'd been there too, but not there in the same way. He felt a link to her but couldn't understand why it was so strong. He cleared his dry throat, suddenly wanting a drink of water. He tried to say something and the words stuck. He tried again. "Water… I… need…"

Leia sat up; she'd only been lightly dozing, her whole being alerted to her brother's condition. "Luke, you're finally awake." She swung her legs to the floor and fetched a glass tumbler lifting it to his lips.

"Isn't that stating the obvious," he replied roughly, his voice rough and unused.

"It's the first time you've been awake properly for several days," Leia murmured with a thankful smile. "Steady…" she admonished. "Don't gulp it all down. "You'll make yourself sick."

"Where's Mara? She was here."

Mara again.

"She's not here. Hasn't been here. Han was trying to contact her because I know she was worried about you." Leia's eyes watered slightly. "We all were. I'm so…" she stopped.

Luke stretched his hand out. "It's okay." The simple action left him drained and his eyes began to drift closed.

Leia placed her hand in her brother's and they sat like that until Luke fell asleep.

Luke made rapid progress over the next few days and Leia felt able to leave his side and return to work. Left alone for the first time in days, Luke became frustrated by his inability to perform the simplest of tasks without having to sleep for a day afterwards. The med. techs had performed test after test on him until he was almost pleading for them to stop. Luke was beginning to feel like a pincushion. None of them could understand how he'd made such a miraculous recovery and were determined to find the reason. Luke knew it had been Mara's presence and her strong will as she'd yanked him back towards life. He still felt that part of her essence was with him – absorbed into his own presence. Yet no one had seen her visit the hospital and Han had told him she was off planet on a run for Karrde.

Luke knew Mara better than she thought he did. She'd managed to be with him without anyone knowing. Mara didn't know how to deal with her emotions unless she was fighting them and wouldn't have wanted to be seen grieving for Luke. Their relationship had been very strained before Luke had left for Varnahk as if they'd both been hiding things from one another. Luke had been mulling this over in his head. He wanted to see Mara very badly to test his theories about her. She was a worthwhile subject. If his conclusions were correct, what then?

"Hey kid, how ya doin'?"

"Han!" Luke's smile lit up his thin face. Pulling himself upright, he switched off the holo viewer. He hadn't been watching it. "Boy, is it good to see you."

Han assessed his friend and grinned. Luke was thin and very pale, but his eyes were clear and bright and he'd started eating properly according to the doctors.

"Bored?"

"You guessed it. I want out of here. I've got things to do, you know - get back to Yavin, take a few classes."

"Luke…"

"I need to do something…" A hint of a farmboy whine had crept into his voice and Han chuckled. "Don't tell me I'm not fit…"

"Watch your mouth kid, or you will be in here for a lot longer and Luke, you're not fit and you know it."

"Can you spring me?"

"Depends on her Royalness. She has the ear of your doctor."

"I'm in for the duration then."

"I guess so." Han settled into the chair beside Luke's bed. "Can I ask you something, Kid?"

"Sure."

"Why were you the one who went on this mission?"

"Because I was available – in the right place at the right time. You could say I was at a loose end. I don't know. They asked and I said yes." He plucked at the blanket covering him with nervous fingers. "Because I was angry at someone for something out of their control, someone they couldn't help but be."

"Luke..."

"So I thought I'd get away for a few days, sort of a Jedi skyhopper tour. Find out what happened to the agents, transmit the information and then get out. Trouble free – no problems. I'd be in and out before anyone knew I'd even been there."

"Sounds easy."

"That's what I thought." Luke glanced up, his blue eyes guarded. "Didn't work that way."

Han sighed. "No, never does kid. You should be aware of that by now."

Luke's eyes hardened briefly, but a smile finally appeared, rueful and slightly mocking. "Perhaps."

Han waited patiently as Luke drifted away on a memory. "I take it you found them?"

Luke's face sobered. "I did."

"And…"

"They were dead. Betrayed by their colleague who'd been an Imperial spy all along. General Cracken hadn't a clue and we should have suspected. Yassol was a smart man. He got killed as I escaped, but they managed to nearly kill me. My cover wasn't blown, but my life nearly was."

"Ah there's the rub. It's the 'nearly'."

"I'm still here…"

Luke's eyelids drooped a little and Han could see he was beginning to tire. Luke was a long way from recovery and Leia was worried about his emotional well being. Apart from the briefing, which he'd recalled very little at, this was the first time Luke had spoken to anyone on the subject of the mission to Varnahk. Han wondered if Luke was dealing with more than just life threatening injuries. What about the loss of his invincibility?

"You're getting tired, junior. I'll go…"

"No, stay a little longer. I get tired of just me and the medical droids. Some of my thoughts are a little dark at the moment."

Han nodded and stayed for a little while longer, telling Luke what the children had got up to and generally taking Luke's mind off the fact that there was no way he would see Yavin for a few more months. Leia was adamant that Luke would heal properly under her watchful care. No one argued with Leia when she had decided. His wife had a will stronger than anyone. Those determined brown eyes and firm little chin would tilt defiantly at the galaxy. But she was right. Han agreed with her totally. He had just had to look at the kid to see that Luke was still a sick man.

"I'll see you tomorrow, kid. Now don't get into any trouble or you'll never get out."

"Hah, funny."

"Here. This may cheer you up."

"What is it?"

"Bye." Han smirked roguishly.

Luke watched as the door slid shut and focused on the package the Corellian had thrown at him.

Pulling open the package Luke emptied a thin strip of duraplast and a small transparisteel container. Inside the container was a couple of long curling hairs of a shade so distinctive Luke would recognise it anywhere. He fitted the duraplast wafer into the slot in his data reader.

'Your sister and I thought we would save this for when you felt a little more like yourself. This was found wound between your fingers the day you recovered consciousness. You asked for Mara first - the very words you uttered when you opened your eyes. Leia is sure Mara was here in the hospital and somehow saved your life by being with you. How else would you have strands of her hair wound around your fingers? Don't squander that gift of life.'

Luke lay back against his pillows and wondered at the strangeness of his life. Mara had saved his life, but he'd known that all along. Han had just proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt. He frowned - she was avoiding him. Mara had been distant of late, but there was something between them. Mara, the only person he knew who had a will stronger than that of his sister. Beautiful Mara - the woman he made love to in his dreams every night. Her hair sometimes red, sometimes a blazing fiery gold - the colours merging together so as to appear alive, the sky above Tatooine during sunset. Her eyes greener than the leaves on Yavin after the spring rains.

"Master Skywalker!"

Luke blinked in confusion.

"Master Skywalker!"

"Oh! Sorry 2-1B. I'm tired and my concentration is shot to hell."

"I understand Master Skywalker," the droids' measured metallic voice replied evenly as he ran through a battery of more tests on the Jedi.

Luke searched for Mara's presence which he felt with him even though they were apart and wondered if she was feeling the same. That would annoy her and he chuckled weakly.

"Sir?"

"Nothing 2-1B, just a funny thought."

"Good to see you are keeping your spirits up, Master Skywalker. I am pleased to tell you we have completed our tests for this evening. If you continue to progress we will be able to release you soon."

"Excellent 2-1B."

"Our aim is to serve."

"Thanks."

"You need to recycle – sleep, Master Skywalker."

"I will. Goodnight."

Luke slipped below his bedcovers and closed his eyes. Immediately he saw her. She walked towards him, stalking him with her grace and fire. Purpose was evident in her sharp green eyes. Mara Jade wanted him. She moved towards him, gracefully feline, her head held high, and arrogance in every well-bred line. Finally she stood before him, so close he could feel her breath on his cheek. Luke raised his hands and placed them gently on the sides of her face. Drawing her ever nearer he tenderly covered her lips with his own and suddenly with an abruptness that was shocking, as it was exciting. Luke Skywalker's world went mad. Years of suppressed desire ignited in an explosion so hot it went beyond description. Frantic hands rubbed and stroked as mouths clung, tongues entwining and bodies straining to merge into a single being. Closer…

Luke threw himself gasping from the vision as an alarm rang stridently somewhere close by. He could still taste her, his body hard and aching for release that only she could provide. He needed the chance to bury himself in the slender body of Mara Jade.

The doors slid open and a troupe of medical personnel rushed in with various pieces of equipment. The harried shouting as they prepared to resuscitate their patient stopped as they took in the fact he was breathing a little fast, but was quite conscious and obviously hadn't gone into cardiac arrest.

'Oh Sith!' Luke desperately willed his body to relax. According to the medical droid his vital signs had gone rocketing off the scale. Luke was reciting the Jedi code backwards, willing his body to calm down when the droid decided he needed to run some extra tests.

"No!" Luke objected. "I just had a nightmare about… I do get them, but they don't last and I haven't had one in days." He smiled calmly, hoping his member had returned to a flaccid state. The Jedi code was too much for him to recite backwards twice in one evening.

"We will give you a sedative Master Skywalker," the droid announced. "Your body needs rest if it is to heal and undisturbed sleep is the best way of achieving that."

Luke agreed meekly - he didn't know how many more dreams he could take like that one. They were becoming more realistic as time went on. The effect of the injection was almost instantaneous. Luke closed his eyes and slipped into thankfully peaceful slumber.

As his mind and body healed, the visions Luke was experiencing only increased in colour and intensity. The doctors had even held back his release date because of his general restlessness. Leia had tried to find the cause of what was ailing her brother, but he had his shields up tight and wouldn't talk. Leia assumed, as did everyone else, that it was the result of his experiences on Varnahk.

Luke threw the book he'd been reading onto the bed and perched on the end. He let out a sigh of frustration. He needed to seek out the source of his frustration and do something about it. She was haunting him.

Luke stretched out on the bed, closed his eyes and tapped into his ever-present connection with the Force. Drawing on more power than he'd been able to use for weeks, the full scale of a Jedi Master's healing skills were brought forth. He had to get out of the medicentre. That was the only way he was going to be able to see her. A week later the medics released him into the care of his sister. He began to train again slowly building up weakened and wasted muscles. He took to running a prescribed route through the walkways of Coruscant in the early evenings. No one gave the Jedi Master a second glance. He returned to Leia and Han's home where the rest of the family fussed over him. The children begged for tales of long ago Jedi and Luke mixed these with early training exercises, his demeanour as ever kind and unfailingly patient.

Saber work, study and meditation exercises took up the rest of his time. However, Leia was still unwilling to let him return to his own apartment and was unhappy at the swift build up in his training regimen - it was too soon. His Force shields in her opinion were still working overtime. He needed to talk to someone but Luke kept his own council and was adamant about his need to improve his fitness again. After four weeks living with his sister and her family he needed to be on his own for a while. He was used to solitude. After this domestic idyll he was worried that he might be too used to living with a family again. He also wanted to push his mind and body to its current limit without his sister seeing how weak he really was. He'd managed to fool her for longer than he'd hoped, but he couldn't do it for much longer and there was no way he was going back to the medicentre. Luke Skywalker couldn't battle a sand fly let alone a fully trained Jedi Knight.

Eventually Leia capitulated. "Try it for one night and then we'll see how you are."

Luke rolled his eyes. "I'll be half an hour away in my own home. It's the same building. Not Yavin or Tatooine for Sith's sake!" He was quite content to stay on Coruscant for the time being, close to his friends and family. This was the first step back to independence, but the apartment had looked emptier than usual when he'd dropped his carryall on the floor. It was tempting to call Leia and return, but he had to start living again.

The apartment had been in his possession ever since the New Republic had properly established themselves on the city planet. It had great potential but he'd done nothing with it. Nearly dying again had finally altered his perspective on the place. The outdated furniture and Imperial colour schemes had to go. Coruscant wasn't home but he could improve on things somewhat.

The dreams continued to plague him. Mara Jade standing naked before him, kissing him with passion, arching her body into his and finally accepting his body into her own. Frankly, it was getting on his nerves. Surely the Force was telling him something here. Waking up with a perpetual erection couldn't be good for you. He was almost afraid to fall asleep because the dreams were more inviting than the life he was trying to live.

It was time to act. He wandered to his closet and pulled out his Jedi blacks. Pulling off his grey shipsuit he attired himself in his black Jedi 'uniform' and attached his lightsaber to its accustomed place on his belt. The famous blue eyes held a new determination and purpose. This was an ending or a beginning. He really hoped it was a beginning for it held such promise.

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Mara's Coruscant apartment

Mara's fingers began a teasing, tempting, trailing journey over Luke's firm chest, tormenting his flat male nipples into aching hardness. Mara's own body reacted in response as Luke moved over her and lightly kissed the hollow behind her ear. Mara thrust her head back giving him greater access and he found a sensitive spot on the soft skin of her neck.

Moaning huskily she arched her body. "Please… oh please… Luke."

Luke edged on to the roof of the Imperial palace. He could feel her calling unknowingly to him through the Force. She retained an apartment in one of the vast extensions Palpatine had added for staff. When the New Republic had taken over Coruscant, that part of the Palace had been turned into luxury homes for those who could afford them. Luke had one in a similar wing on the other side of the building. The palace was so vast that it took an hour to travel from one side of the palace to the other.

Luke had persuaded his sister to let him spend the night in his own home. The visions he'd been experiencing were so graphic that he had begun to doubt his ability to keep what he was seeing and feeling from his Force strong twin. However Leia would have his hide if she'd known he was out and about at this late hour but he had to see Mara. She was on Coruscant, he could feel her presence so strongly now. It drew him to her and he had to act.

He moved to a point where he could view the eternal city and picked his location.

Tensing his muscles, he sprang lightly on to a balcony several floors below. He could almost touch her. Luke geared himself touched the Force and leapt. Landing gently on Mara's balcony he uncloaked his presence. The full-length windows had been left slightly ajar and Luke, dressed completely in black slipped noiselessly through. He'd returned to his all black ensemble when he'd decided on his new career of breaking and entering and was scarcely discernible in the dark interior of Mara's shadowed bedroom.

Mara Jade lay sleeping, but not peacefully. Luke watched thoughtfully as she arched her neck and moaned huskily. He could make out her slim form through the thin coverlet. Mara moaned again, the sound loud in the stillness.

Luke started in shock, oddly aroused. That sound had been so… earthy in the dark. He dropped to sit in the chair in the corner of the room his eyes focused on her figure as it lay on the bed. Mara moved restlessly, lying in rumpled bedclothes, her hair spread wildly over the pillows, her face flushed and shining. Luke had never seen anything more beautiful or erotic. The coverlet slipped down and Luke could see her sleep shift as it clung damply to her curvaceous figure.

"Luke…" she moaned again and the Jedi Master's mouth opened in amazement.

Mara sighed as Luke's hands and mouth worked magic on her body. His hands cupped her breasts until the nipples stood erect. When he replaced his hands with his mouth Mara's vocal urgings grew louder. Desire ran like a fever over her and her skin burned where he touched. How was it that he was the man , the only man, who could make her feel this way?

Luke, from his seat in the corner of her bedchamber, watched with a kind of guilty satisfaction as Mara's hands reached for someone who wasn't there and her body tossed and turned in real earnest.

Opening himself to the Force, blue eyes glistening like polished jewels in the darkness Luke approached the mind of Mara Jade. He would never read her thoughts – that was too near the dark side but he could get a sense of what she was feeling. Overwhelmed with the pictures he received, he gasped silently. Her barriers were down, she could be broadcasting to any Force sensitive on Coruscant. Quickly, his breathing heavy in the silence of her room. Luke set up temporary barriers around the images. Since they all intimately concerned him as well as Mara, he didn't think he was transgressing a Jedi rule or straying too close to the dark side. A trickle of sweat traced its way over his forehead and Luke tore at the suddenly too tight neck of his tunic loosening it. Lurching to his feet, he stumbled from the room and out onto the balcony.

Drawing in desperately needed air Luke hunched over, his head resting on the cool marble of the ornate railing. Mara was experiencing the same kind of dreams he'd had. Was this a message from the Force? If so it was a very powerful one. He'd always been fond of Mara with her sarcastic quick wit and her loyalty to those she considered friends, but when had his feelings changed and why? He knew that his feelings for Mara were deeper than for a mere friend. The liking and respect he'd felt for the woman sleeping inside had coalesced into a deep-rooted need. Her vivid beauty shone in his currently drab existence. How could he possibly…?

"Luke?" the surprise of the husky sleep filled voice behind made him whirl around, hand on saber hilt.

Mara stood rubbing her eyes, clothed in a rather feminine lace-trimmed robe. Her face was soft, flushed from sleep or possibly from the dreams she'd been having. Her hair a fiery tangle of untidy curls framing the perfect complexion and usually sharp green eyes. She was absolutely beautiful.

Luke smiled diffidently, as if appearing on a lady's balcony at two in the morning was a normal occurrence for him. "Hello Mara." His voice calm and measured. He waited.

"You'd better come in."

"Thank you."

Mara turned to go back inside, but stopped abruptly. Luke presumed she was waking up, but it was clear the strange circumstances of this meeting were becoming apparent to her.

"Hold it!" She held up an authoritative hand. Luke hadn't moved and waited trying to gauge her reaction from how the back of her head looked.

Mara spun round and glared at him. Now that was more like it.

She stared hard at him her green eyes narrowing. Luke stood silently without moving accepting her piercing scrutiny.

"So they finally let you out."

It wasn't what he'd expected her to say; sith he never knew what she would come out with.

"Vornskyr got your tongue?" Her voice was mocking.

Luke swallowed, his Jedi calm surface thin at the sight of Mara in a garment designed to raise the blood pressure of any man. "I'm supposed to be with Han and Leia." He winced at the lame statement his own mouth had issued. Of all the stupid things to say. It made him sound fifteen again.

"Do they know where you are?"

"Well…"

"They don't. Luke!" Her voice rose and then she yawned, her graceful hands covering. "I'll go contact them," her voice resigned.

"No… that is… don't… Mara!" Luke closed his eyes in frustration with his limited vocabulary. "I mean…"

"Spit it out, farmboy. Your command of basic is masterful. When do you next address the Senate?"

Luke drew himself to his full height and enunciated clearly. His problems forgotten. "Sorry to bother you, Master Trader Jade. You're tired, I'll leave. I just thought we could talk…"

"Talk! You came here in the middle of the night to… talk?"

"Wouldn't be the first time," he snapped.

"No, it wouldn't."

Luke stalked back onto the balcony then stopped, gazing blankly at the Coruscant view spread before him - the balcony railing cool under his hands. How the hell had he got here? Mara groaned and gently pulled on his arm to lead him back inside.

"Try the door like anyone else, huh?"

"I… I…" He flushed miserably

Luke…" She drew his name out. "You're obviously here for a purpose - why scurry off? Or jump off," she muttered. "I can't believe that you didn't just come and buzz my door com. Still, it wouldn't be you otherwise. Would it?"

Luke just stood there in a daze his bafflement reaching out to her.

She moved purposefully from her bedchamber into the lounge. "Skywalker! For goodness sake." Exasperation evident in her voice.

Luke moved as if stung. Mara pointed to a well-stuffed chair. "Sit and I'll make us something to drink. I'm wide awake now anyway."

"Mara, I'm sorry about that, but I had to see you - to thank…"

Mara placed her hand across his lips, and Luke jerked back at the unexpected contact.

"Sit," her voice softened. "I'll be back in a minute."

She was as good as her word and returned with a couple of mugs of steaming liquid. "Here." She thrust the mug into his hands. "You're walking around in a daze Skywalker. Are you sure you should be out of the medicentre? Have you still got all your brain cells? I'm beginning to wonder." Mara perched on the arm of Luke's chair, her robe wrapped firmly around her. "Now Luke…"

The Jedi Master raised cloudy blue eyes from where he'd been contemplating the amount of liquid still left in his mug.

"Are you really okay?"

"I… yes… I suppose I am."

Mara slipped off the arm of the chair and sank to her knees directly in front of him and took the drink from his hands. "Luke…"

He watched her place the drink on a side table before she turned to him. He clasped her hands in his and gazed at her lovely face. Mara became lost in the hypnotic blue of his eyes. She swallowed. It was her turn to suffer from a dry mouth. "Tell me…" She rubbed the tip of her tongue across parched lips. "Tell me… What's wrong?"

"I feel so alone. It's the one thing that has occurred to me since I regained consciousness. Han has Leia and the children. I have no one."

"But you're not alone, Luke. Your family cares for you."

"I know they do. But Leia is not my wife, the twins and Anakin are not my children. I am alone."

"So am I Luke, but I can't waste my life wondering what might be."

"Don't you feel you're missing something Mara? When you look at Han and Leia or Mirax and Corran? Don't you feel that you've strived your whole life and something important has been denied you? Because of who and what you are? Don't you ever wonder that because you are blessed with a special gift you've had to suffer loneliness? You've used your gift to aid others, but what has it gained you?"

The questions caught her unprepared. 'Damn Skywalker. He always got you where it hurt'. Her tongue flicked again over very dry lips. "What do you think you're missing?" she croaked barely audible as he moved a little nearer, his pupils dilating making his eyes seem very large.

"This…" he whispered and his head blotted out the light as his mouth covered hers.

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