A Thread of Gold – Part 8
Disclaimer - The characters in this story are owned by Lucasfilm. I'm only borrowing them for my amusement and hopefully yours. My thanks to JT, Angela and Mona for suggestions and help. This story is for Sheyla as she once told me she liked it.
Ash
Mara ran until she could run no more without any thought to her direction. It was flight pure and simple. How could she let Skywalker have this strong a hold on her heart after one night? A pain in her side gripped her and she slowed. Just as well, for she'd nowhere to else to run. This part of the corridor was a dead end with just a maintenance closet. Mara slumped to the floor.
"Some Jedi I've turned out to be", she muttered. Luke's words came to her. 'You must react when you are calm and at peace'. She hadn't done that. Mara sighed and waited for Luke to find her. There was no question about that not happening. If he'd been fitter and in better health he'd have caught up with her a long time ago, unless… Her heart dropped to her stomach. He wasn't interested.
"I'm interested, Jade, and you know it." Luke stood at the end of the corridor, his face impassive.
"Stay out my mind," she snapped.
"I wasn't inside your mind. You were broadcasting loud enough for any Force sensitive to hear on Coruscant." His face looked pained as if she'd hurt him. You know that I would never do that to you." He walked carefully towards her, breathing heavily and his still thin face, a little pale.
Mara opened her mouth to snap but noticed his pallor. He was white and she noticed his slighter-than-usual frame tremble a little as he leaned against the wall for support.
The Jedi Master had been hiding the true rate of his recovery from everyone – even her and she should have guessed. He'd been tired and nauseous the night before. Drawing him down beside her Mara scrutinised his features. "Skywalker?"
Luke closed his eyes then reached for her, gathering her into his arms and fool that she was, Mara didn't protest and let him hold her close.
"Don't ever run from me, Mara. I can't bear it."
"I'm sorry, Luke. I'm not good with my feelings."
"I think you are."
Her hair spilled onto his jacket like many threads of gold. "Luke… it all happened too fast."
He opened exhausted eyes and nodded. "Perhaps yes, perhaps no. If I'd never taken the chance it may never have happened. The future is always in motion after all. I will respect any decision you make even if I don't like it."
"Stop talking like a Jedi."
"I am a Jedi and will abide by your decisions. I may try to change your mind…"
"I know that. It's called not abiding by my decisions."
Luke coughed wearily and leant back against the wall closing his eyes. His complexion had paled even further. Mara eyed him with misgivings. "Luke?"
"I'm just a little dizzy. A couple of minutes and I'll be okay."
"I disagree, farmboy." Mara flicked on her comlink. "Leia we're in corridor D37 subsection 24. I think you should send Han. Luke's not well."
Luke shook his head. "I'm fine," and to prove his point he attempted to get to his feet whereupon he wobbled alarmingly, his already pale face draining of its remaining colour.
"No you're not 'fine', Skywalker. You need to go home and go to bed."
Luke bit his lip. "With you?"
"I'll ignore that comment. You have a choice, Luke. Home to bed or straight back to the medicentre and no, I won't be joining you." Mara gave him a stern look and raised her voice ordering him. "Now sit down!"
"Not fair, Mara." However he did sit. Or perhaps it was fairer to say that his knees buckled and he collapsed on to the floor.
Mara flicked on her comlink. "Han, I need you now."
"I'm here." Han's voice came from above them. "I think it's entirely fair, kid." Han stood over them looking amused but concerned. He bent down and with Mara's help managed to get Luke to his feet and half marched, half carried him back to his sister.
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Mara sat sipping her mug of caf. "I'm worried about him, Han. He's not as well as he makes out."
"I realise that now," muttered Han. "It was quite obvious. But what can we do. He's a grown man even if he doesn't act like it most of the time."
"Stubborn nerf."
"We'll have to order him into the medicentre. He hates these places but it's the only way…"
"Just sedate him and transport him there. Get the Rogues to stand guard and threaten him with bacta if he sets one foot out of bed."
"Will you stop talking about me as if I weren't here?" Luke was propelled by his sister into the lounge and placed next to Mara on the sofa. The thick robe bundled round him to protect him from anything Leia could think of.
"Did someone make a noise?" Mara said dryly.
"I wish you'd all stop fussing."
"We'll stop fussing, brother dear, when you stop trying to make us think you're all right."
"I am alright," Luke protested.
"No you're not." Mara's voice was definite. "You left the medicentre too soon and then started training far too soon. You're not omnipotent. Even if you think you are." Mara interjected with pithy scorn. "You've probably set yourself back months. Don't you know the phrase 'rest and recuperation?"
"Listen to them kid, you know they're right." Han added for good measure.
"I've had enough of this. I'm going to bed," he grumbled darkly. "Women!"
"Bed's the best place for you, Jedi boy." Mara quipped as Luke threw her a sour look before leaving the room.
His door hissed shut behind him. "Time for the adults to relax," muttered Mara.
"Hey, the kid doesn't want us to worry about him." Han felt obliged to speak in Luke's defence.
"Successful was he?" asked Leia
"I think you'd better have the medics check him over again."
"I've tried Mara. He won't have it."
"Do or do not. Forget the try. This is Luke remember. Get them to do a house call."
"I'll go check on him," Han said, getting to his feet.
The women grinned. "You do that dear," put in Leia and then watched with amazement as Han immediately dashed out of the bedroom and into the kitchen returning with a bowl. "He's feeling sick."
"Not again," murmured Mara.
Leia gave the trader a suspicious glance.
"He feels nauseous when he over does things. I would definitely call the medics. He's not fit enough to self heal yet. There are a lot of things scrambled around in that sandy head of his. More than usual, I mean."
Leia's expression was serious. "He needs you, Mara."
Mara ducked her head a little awkwardly. "Do you think so?"
"He asked for you constantly while he was in hospital. Frankly, I was a little jealous, but I know he feels very deeply for you and you for him."
"Apart from irritation?"
Leia wisely ignored the comment. It was a defence mechanism. Han had it too. It was funny how she'd never really noticed it before.
Mara peered at Leia with eyes brighter than the Bnach emeralds at her throat. "I've lost so much. It's made me what I am and… and for one of the few times in my entire life I'm scared."
Leia wondered if that was actually tears she could see in Mara's eyes. "You don't have to be scared. You've faced far more difficult opponents than my brother."
Luke isn't an opponent. He wants me for what I am and no one has before. They've wanted me for my looks or my position. Luke sees the real me. If I care too much I'm afraid that I'll lose him too."
"Luke is interested in what you can and will be. You won't lose him. He's hoping for a future."
"I'm not sure if I'm capable of giving him that." She whispered. "I don't exactly have a placid existence and he certainly doesn't. What about the next fool stunt that he does? One of these days it will kill him."
"Have a little faith. Mara." Leia's voice was kind. "Have faith in Luke and in yourself."
Han sauntered back into the lounge. "He's asking for you. Be nice."
Mara relaxed and smiled, a little glint appearing in her eyes. "Sure, I can do that. Listen Solo - I'll cope with the tantrums and you fetch the medics. If we all gang up on him, there's nothing he can do about it."
She turned and walked down the hall into the room Luke was using. He lay propped up on a mountain of pillows, his face as white as the linen he lay upon. "Hey," Mara said a little awkwardly.
"'Hey' yourself."
"Take it easy, farmboy," Mara warned as Luke tried to sit up.
"You too, Jade."
"Me? I'm not the one who's been pulling the bantha yarn over everyone's eyes." She looked down at him and shook her red-gold head. "What are we going to do with you Skywalker?"
Luke tried his usual grin - it nearly worked. "I've several ideas if you're interested?"
"I bet you have - but you're not doing any of them until you take time to heal properly. Take things nice and slow." She coloured a little as she remembered how slow Luke could be as he'd tormented her with his lovemaking. "Jedi accelerated healing may be working, but if you were an ordinary mortal you'd be a vegetable or, at the very least, a Corellian."
"I heard that," grumbled Han, coming in with hot drinks for the pair of them.
"Go away." Luke and Mara said in unison.
"Sorry. He needs to drink this and then rest, Mara."
"I know," she muttered defensively.
Mara picked up Luke's hand - his real one and pressed the drink into it. "Do as he says Luke - you have to rest this time."
He nodded. "Will you stay?"
"Sure," she murmured. "Until the next trip. Someone has to make you do what you're told. I won't just threaten you with the medics. Any nonsense and I deliver you to them gift-wrapped with shiny bows. You're no use to the Jedi or the New Republic in this state, my boy."
"As long as you'll stay…" Luke smiled and settled down, within minutes he was asleep.
Mara returned to the lounge. "I'd better be going."
"Nah," grinned Han. "Stay for pudding. Luke asked you to stay."
"Please Mara," pleaded Leia. "Just a little longer."
Han gave the women a shrewd look. He knew his wife wanted to cross-examine Mara some more. "I've to check on something in the Falcon. If we're going to Kashyyyk to collect the children next week."
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"Well?" Mara watched the door as it slid shut after Han.
"What?" Leia answered.
"I'm waiting for the interrogation."
"This is the New Republic not the Empire," Leia retorted.
"So?"
"We don't interrogate – we investigate."
"I've never heard it put quite that way before," Mara commented wryly. "I slept with your brother."
Leia's voice was a little stiff. "I know and it's really none of my business what you and he do together. He is a grown man."
Mara blushed at a memory. "You can say that again."
Leia stared at Mara, her eyes wide and then grinned, her body relaxing and Mara stared in fascinated surprise. "I've never seen a resemblance between you and Luke before but just then… you have the same grin."
"It was good, then – you and Luke? You're changing the subject. Details - I want to know some details."
Mara's mouth fell open.
Leia chuckled wickedly. "I'm not a prude, Mara. I've got three children. They had to come from somewhere and don't forget I married Han Solo. No room for that in our marriage."
"Once you've seen one…"
"Mara!" Leia warned.
Mara fidgeted a little under Leia's amused gaze. "I'm sorry it's just…"
"I keep my private life private. Han and I have a great marriage. We're a partnership. Of course we fight. We're both strong people. Can you imagine Han or I giving way on something if we thought we were right? I can't. If he looked at another woman, he'd be dead. He knows it and I know it. I make sure he doesn't want to. I could be far worse than the dark side of the Force and the Imperial Navy put together." She smirked with satisfaction and Mara looked on - not a little envious. "So was my brother worth it? Possibly alienating me, falling foul of New Republic worthies, losing much of your anonymity - that kind of thing?"
Mara gave an unwilling laugh. "Oh yes. I don't know what came over me but yes, he was definitely worth it."
"He's not low maintenance, you should be aware of that by now."
"None of us are." Mara smiled dreamily. "Oh yes, well worth it, but you'd never know to look at him."
"Oh, I don't know. He's my brother but I'm not blind and I can look at him objectively. Nice looking, good body with all the right bits - he cleans up pretty well. Keeps himself in reasonable condition most of the time. Kind, loving and idealistic. Would never treat a girl badly if he could help it. Even I concede but don't tell my husband or those trading licences are cancelled. My brother has a great rear, better than Han's. I think it's all those Jedi exercises that does it."
Mara felt her face getting hotter and hotter. She couldn't believe she was having this conversation with Leia Organa Solo. Han maybe - well not the bits about Luke's anatomy. Han didn't pull any punches he just said what he thought. But Leia?
"Do you love him?"
Mara jerked back. 'Woah, hold on. Luke's attributes maybe, but feelings. This was taking things a mite too far.' She could deal with Luke's body but not with Luke's heart. She opened her mouth to blast Leia for her temerity then found herself saying quietly. "I don't know what I feel. I've no experience of love but I do care for him very much. I've known hate, anger and other such emotions. I've experienced the usual hormonal fluctuations in my time when faced with an attractive member of the opposite sex but love?" She shrugged her leather-clad shoulders. "What's love?"
"What would you have felt had he died?" Leia kept on with her digging, amazed that Mara was opening up so much.
Mara lifted her bright head, the anguish evident in her proud features. "When he was reported missing I was worried - anxious. I was prepared to go to Varnahk and find him whatever it took. Then Karrde told me he was dying. The desolation and pain just hit me. My life stretched ahead without my truest friend and the bleakness was unimaginable. I was going to be left alone - again."
"Oh Mara," Leia uttered profoundly moved by the agony in the younger woman's voice and the ache in her Force sense.
Mara looked into Leia's dark eyes, her own green gaze watering with unshed tears. "I would in effect be alone, not like when the Emperor left me. I served the Emperor but I'm Luke's equal. He trusts me, respects me, desires me." She finished on a whisper. "My loneliness would be utter and absolute and nothing would ever fill the void. Nothing and no one."
"What did you do?"
"I had to see him, touch him, just be with him and do something. If I was there with him, I could make everything all right again." A tear trickled down her cheek. "He was lying there and when I reached out to him there was nothing. No warmth, no spark of life, no Luke. I kept trying to reach him until I think I fell asleep. I got through somehow…"
"You did, Mara." Leia marvelled as she witnessed for herself what Luke and Karrde had seen – Mara Jade's vulnerability.
"Once I knew he was going to be okay I thought I could just leave and get on with my life. Luke was a friend and I had done what any friend would. Then the dreams started."
"The dreams?"
"Of Luke and I – together. The dreams were…" she hesitated. "Very erotic. When he came to me last night, it was because he'd been having them too. He had to... it was…"
Leia nodded as comprehension dawned. "It was inevitable."
"Yes."
"I think you do know what you feel for my brother. You do love him. Don't wait – tell him."
"I don't know if I can tell him."
Mara returned to Luke's side and watched until she grew drowsy, she vaguely remembered Leia covering her with a blanket, but tired with the strain of worrying about Luke, his illness and her feelings, she slept curled up in a little ball in an enormous chair beside his bed.
She didn't know what had awoken her, but something or someone had. Stretching cramped muscles brought an awareness of eyes fixed on her in the dark.
"You're awake." She said matter of factly.
"Yes. I'm glad you're still here."
"I should really be going."
"You don't have to. Han brought a bag of your things. You can stay in Jaina's room or better still," his voice lowered. "Stay here with me. The fresher's through there if you want a shower or something." He sounded tired.
"Sure," Mara headed towards the fresher. Luke heard the shower running then she reappeared in her sleeping shift. Climbing into the bed beside Luke, he immediately pulled her into his arms and with a satisfied sigh, he went back to sleep. Mara wondered at the strangeness of it all then quickly followed Luke into slumber.
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