Chapter 5
Kate grew up fast. On her 14th birthday, she had a slumber party with five friends. Grissom and Sara went out and left them to destroy the house. They weren't happy about leaving her alone, but she was willing to be held responsibly against any and all damages done to the house.
Grissom covered Sara's hand on his arm as they walked along the path. They stopped to walk in the park on the way home from the restaurant. Sara leaned against Grissom and sighed. "No child." She smiled.
"Hmm." He hummed in agreement. He looked down as she lightly rubbed his hand that covered hers on his arm. "Honey?"
"Yes?" She looked up at him and smiled.
"Something wrong?" He asked.
Sara shook her head. "Can I ask you something?"
Grissom stopped walking and smiled at her. This had started to become a game over the past few years. He looked at her with narrowed eyes. "Sure."
She pursed her lips and pushed her arms under his to wrap around his chest. "Are you happy?"
He looked away briefly and breathed out. "Why would you ask me that?"
She smiled. "I don't know."
Grissom dropped his chin to his chest as he looked down at her. "You wouldn't ask me if you didn't know."
Sara hugged him tighter. "I just want to know"
"I've never been more happy in my life than when I'm with you and Kate." He smiled at her and kiss her nose. "I love you Sara and you ask me this every year. Why?" He asked softly. Watching and waiting for her to answer him.
They had never really discussed why she always asked him, but he'd asked once before and didn't get an answer. They were interrupted by work, but this time they had one cell phone on them and it was Grissom's. No one would ring him tonight. Not work anyway. He warned them not to.
Sara ran her hands over his jacket and pushed them under to run up the back of his sweater. She knew he wanted the answer. She would have answered last time he asked, but work stopped her and she didn't feel right telling him after that.
Grissom sighed and rubbed her arms. "Sara, please tell me if something's wrong. You worry me every time you ask and I've played along." He paused as he squeezed her shoulders. "Are you happy, with me?" He asked hesitantly.
Sara nodded and smiled. "I'm happy with you. I love you. I just feel I need to hear it sometimes." She stared at his chest as she continued. "I know we barely talk about it, but. Since Kate was a baby, she's only known you as her dad and she knows we're not married."
"She asked about us not being married?" He asked, dreading where this was going.
Turning her head, she leaned into him and hugged him. "Yes."
"When?" He lowered his head and kissed her hair., wrapping his arms around her shoulders.
"A few times. The first time was when she was 12. She asked about my ring, like when she was a baby, but she wanted to know why you gave me a ring and you haven't got one."
Grissom dropped his forehead to her shoulder and sighed. "Are you trying to tell me that you've not told me because you're afraid I'll leave?" Sara didn't answer, only continued to hold him. "Sara. I would never leave." He promised. "I love you with all my heart and I love Kate too. You know this."
She nodded and pulled back slightly. Grissom raised his head and cupped her cheek. "I know, but It's about this time every year, that I think about the past. I thought I'd forget, but I always remember." She looked over his shoulder, but Grissom turned her head back as he held her face in both his hands. "I'm sorry Gil. I didn't mean to upset you."
He shook his head and brushed his thumbs over her cheekbones. "I'm not upset, though I am worried that you want to talk further about this. I will listen if you want too, but I remember everything. I have scars too." He whispered the last bit and closed his eyes as he pulled away. He rubbed his face and looked down at his hands as he pulled them away. "You want to tell Kate, don't you?" He asked quietly.
Sara stood, stock still as she stared at the floor. "I don't know. I. really don't know." She stressed.
Grissom walked a few steps away from her and looked up at the clear sky. "I've never looked forward to telling her. I was hoping you'd never tell her." He said honestly. "But, she's your daughter. It's up to you." He added sadly, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets.
Sara looked up at him in stunned shock. Her insides were tingling in fear. His words stung her when they reached her ears. She watched him as he stared at the stars. "She's our daughter Gil. How can you say that?" Her voice was barely a whisper. She hoped he heard it.
His head turned slightly, but he didn't turn. He looked at the ground and took a deep breath. "If you tell her, she won't want me anymore."
"You don't know that. Your all she's known." Sara walked towards him slowly.
He felt her getting closer. "I wish I could believe you Sara. I really do, but we don't know that. It will be entirely up to her. You can't convince her once she's made up her mind. If you tell her. I'll have to stay away until she's had time to think about it. You." He drifted off as he struggled to keep his breathing calm. "I'm sorry. It's your choice." He started to walked back towards the car. He passed Sara, but didn't look at her.
Kate grew up fast. On her 14th birthday, she had a slumber party with five friends. Grissom and Sara went out and left them to destroy the house. They weren't happy about leaving her alone, but she was willing to be held responsibly against any and all damages done to the house.
Grissom covered Sara's hand on his arm as they walked along the path. They stopped to walk in the park on the way home from the restaurant. Sara leaned against Grissom and sighed. "No child." She smiled.
"Hmm." He hummed in agreement. He looked down as she lightly rubbed his hand that covered hers on his arm. "Honey?"
"Yes?" She looked up at him and smiled.
"Something wrong?" He asked.
Sara shook her head. "Can I ask you something?"
Grissom stopped walking and smiled at her. This had started to become a game over the past few years. He looked at her with narrowed eyes. "Sure."
She pursed her lips and pushed her arms under his to wrap around his chest. "Are you happy?"
He looked away briefly and breathed out. "Why would you ask me that?"
She smiled. "I don't know."
Grissom dropped his chin to his chest as he looked down at her. "You wouldn't ask me if you didn't know."
Sara hugged him tighter. "I just want to know"
"I've never been more happy in my life than when I'm with you and Kate." He smiled at her and kiss her nose. "I love you Sara and you ask me this every year. Why?" He asked softly. Watching and waiting for her to answer him.
They had never really discussed why she always asked him, but he'd asked once before and didn't get an answer. They were interrupted by work, but this time they had one cell phone on them and it was Grissom's. No one would ring him tonight. Not work anyway. He warned them not to.
Sara ran her hands over his jacket and pushed them under to run up the back of his sweater. She knew he wanted the answer. She would have answered last time he asked, but work stopped her and she didn't feel right telling him after that.
Grissom sighed and rubbed her arms. "Sara, please tell me if something's wrong. You worry me every time you ask and I've played along." He paused as he squeezed her shoulders. "Are you happy, with me?" He asked hesitantly.
Sara nodded and smiled. "I'm happy with you. I love you. I just feel I need to hear it sometimes." She stared at his chest as she continued. "I know we barely talk about it, but. Since Kate was a baby, she's only known you as her dad and she knows we're not married."
"She asked about us not being married?" He asked, dreading where this was going.
Turning her head, she leaned into him and hugged him. "Yes."
"When?" He lowered his head and kissed her hair., wrapping his arms around her shoulders.
"A few times. The first time was when she was 12. She asked about my ring, like when she was a baby, but she wanted to know why you gave me a ring and you haven't got one."
Grissom dropped his forehead to her shoulder and sighed. "Are you trying to tell me that you've not told me because you're afraid I'll leave?" Sara didn't answer, only continued to hold him. "Sara. I would never leave." He promised. "I love you with all my heart and I love Kate too. You know this."
She nodded and pulled back slightly. Grissom raised his head and cupped her cheek. "I know, but It's about this time every year, that I think about the past. I thought I'd forget, but I always remember." She looked over his shoulder, but Grissom turned her head back as he held her face in both his hands. "I'm sorry Gil. I didn't mean to upset you."
He shook his head and brushed his thumbs over her cheekbones. "I'm not upset, though I am worried that you want to talk further about this. I will listen if you want too, but I remember everything. I have scars too." He whispered the last bit and closed his eyes as he pulled away. He rubbed his face and looked down at his hands as he pulled them away. "You want to tell Kate, don't you?" He asked quietly.
Sara stood, stock still as she stared at the floor. "I don't know. I. really don't know." She stressed.
Grissom walked a few steps away from her and looked up at the clear sky. "I've never looked forward to telling her. I was hoping you'd never tell her." He said honestly. "But, she's your daughter. It's up to you." He added sadly, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets.
Sara looked up at him in stunned shock. Her insides were tingling in fear. His words stung her when they reached her ears. She watched him as he stared at the stars. "She's our daughter Gil. How can you say that?" Her voice was barely a whisper. She hoped he heard it.
His head turned slightly, but he didn't turn. He looked at the ground and took a deep breath. "If you tell her, she won't want me anymore."
"You don't know that. Your all she's known." Sara walked towards him slowly.
He felt her getting closer. "I wish I could believe you Sara. I really do, but we don't know that. It will be entirely up to her. You can't convince her once she's made up her mind. If you tell her. I'll have to stay away until she's had time to think about it. You." He drifted off as he struggled to keep his breathing calm. "I'm sorry. It's your choice." He started to walked back towards the car. He passed Sara, but didn't look at her.