Am I awake? No, seriously, it could be debated . . . school seemed to want
a lot of 'assignments' and 'finals', whatever they are . . . psh . . . then
there's that nasty writer's block . . . anyways, you all know the drill; I
sadly own nothing of Disney's. I'm sorry about the major delay in getting
this chapter finished, but here's a nice long post to try and make up for
my absence, hopefully you'll enjoy :). The revolution lives on Jess!
*glomps*
All I Want For Christmas
"Special delivery!" said Tanya the next morning as she set the load of groceries she carried on the counter. Mallory followed her with another armful, snapping her raspberry gum loudly. She reached into one of the bags and pulled out a box of Froot Loops. "Here's your cereal Dive," she said, as she tossed him the box.
"Score! Thanks Mal!" He was sitting at the table with a bowl full of milk in front of him for when they got back. Duke had been sitting beside him drinking his coffee and just shook his head at the young duck. Mallory was helping Tanya put groceries away when she stopped, looking thoughtful.
"Hmm . . . you know, instead of 'Dive', I think I'm going to call you 'Nose'. Just because I can," she smiled tauntingly. His spoon stopped halfway to his mouth, dripping milk, and the look of crushed disbelief on his face made them all burst out laughing.
She passed behind him, still laughing, and cuffed him on the back of the head. "I'm just kidding Dive." He just glowered back into his cereal.
"You're in a good mood this morning Mal," commented Duke.
She just shrugged. "Tanya and I rented a bunch of movies and picked up some drink that Mookie recommended, it's called strawberry daiquiri. Girls night."
"Hmm. sounds nice. Divey-boy here is coming with me into town tonight, see what kinda night life we can scare up," said Duke.
Tanya looked over her shoulder as she put something up on a shelf. "Heh, just be gentle on him eh? He's just a, uh, kid remember," she said jokingly.
Nosedive jumped up and stomped his foot, "Geez! What is this? Pick on Dive week?" He dropped his dishes in the sink and shook his head as he left the room to the other's laughter.
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That evening Wildwing walked down the upstairs hallway; book in hand, intending to go downstairs to read. He was caught up short as he passed Tanya's room, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Laughter. He was hearing pure, feminine, giddy laughter. The sound was so foreign to hear from both Mallory and Tanya; he couldn't even begin to guess what could be funny enough to bring both of them to such a state.
His interest was caught and he lifted a hand to knock. Reason finally caught up with him however, and he realized he probably wouldn't understand anyway. He shook his head at the mysteries of the female species as he continued on his way to the living room.
A few hours later, Wing's eyes were tired and burning from reading in the low light of the fire. He had already put his book down and was about to get up, but he heard a loud noise behind him. He turned curiously to look around the chair and for the second time that night was very confused. Mallory stood at the bottom of the stairwell, looking rather accusingly at the post as if it had done something wrong. From his perspective it seemed that she had been the one to run into it, but her expression said she thought otherwise. Clad in only a bathrobe from what he could see, something just didn't seem right. She looked up in his direction and blinked as if she was trying to focus on him. The post was forgotten as she weaved her way over to him and knelt down beside his chair, staring up at him expectantly.
When she made no move to say anything, Wildwing broke the silence, "Mal, are you alright?"
Her eyes were wandering around the room, unable to focus her attention, and she gave a half-laugh before she spoke, "Do you remember when Duke had that stuff called vodka, then started doing a strip tease for Tanya? And we found out it was the alcohol in it that our species can't handle well? Mookie didn't mention there was alcohol in strawberry daiquiris . . . we figured it out on our own after we had a few drinks . . . I'm still a little tipsy," she added with a hiccup.
Wildwing had his head in his hands, the episode with Duke playing frighteningly through his mind. A thought suddenly occurred to him, "Where's Tanya?"
Mallory had brought her focus down to the chair and was absentmindedly tracing the fabric pattern with her fingernail. "She passed out a while ago, she's fine. Everyone else is asleep too and I'm bored," she announced, pouting a little, which was entirely unlike her.
He stretched and laughed, "I don't know what you want me to do about that, I was heading up to bed myself."
She sat a little straighter and managed to look both adorably determined and drunkenly bewildered at the same time. "What I want is to try out the Jacuzzi but only if I don't have to go alone, so as my friend," she punched him lightly on the arm for emphasis, "you have to come with me."
"Mal, it's 2 AM!" he said, surprised. Curiosity fluttered at the back of his mind as he wondered why she had stressed the word 'friend' as strongly as she had, but she interrupted his thoughts.
"Come on Wing," she cajoled, "the water's at the perfect temperature and it's a gorgeous night." She pulled on his arm to make him get up. He allowed himself to be maneuvered, unsure how to handle this entirely different side to his normally un-impulsive, militaristic teammate. She dragged him along by the hand to the stairs, stopping only when they reached his door, and waited for him to go inside.
"Now get your suit, if you're not out in one minute I'm coming in to get you" she said teasingly. Still a little stunned at this never-before- seen side to her, he did as he was told. Afraid that she had meant what she said, he found his suit, grabbed a towel and was out with ten seconds to spare.
"Excellent!" she exclaimed when his door reopened, grabbing his hand to pull him back down the hallway to the deck entrance.
"Mal, are you sure about this?" he asked one more time, not particularly keen on going out in the cold.
"Yup," she answered simply and slid open the door, pushing him out in front of her. Being from a planet covered in ice for most of the year, he could handle cold, but the blast of air that hit him stole away most of his breath and his agreeableness to go any further. Unfortunately for him, Mallory was stronger than she looked and pushed him out anyways. Pulling the door closed behind her she stepped lightly around him, not seeming to mind the cold as she untied her robe, the alcohol left in her system keeping her just warm enough. The Jacuzzi in front of them beckoned, the water was steaming gently. Sunk into the floor, it was bottom-lit, the soft blue light casting an almost ethereal glow on the rest of the darkened balcony.
She stepped up to the edge of the water and her robe pooled at her feet. What was left of the oxygen in his lungs rushed out. Mallory stepped down into the water; seemingly unaware of the chaos she had left behind her in his mind. Her bathing suit hugged her figure intimately, leaving very little to his imagination, but it was her confidence and comfort with herself that he had always admired most. She was submerged to her waist before she turned around.
"Are you coming?"
Wildwing's feet finally got the message that relief from the cold was right in front of him, and he walked forwards into the water, stopping only when he was immersed up to his neck. His eyes closed as he savored the heat that began to flow through him, a quiet sigh left him as his blood warmed. He opened his eyes to see what had become of Mallory.
She was on the other side of the hot tub, slowly maneuvering around with her head above water, not wanting to dunk and then leave wet hair exposed to the cold. She settled herself into one of the corners formed by the steps and looked at him thoughtfully.
"We don't get to talk a lot, you and I, do we?" she asked.
He considered for a moment before shaking his head. "We're here now," he said, and settled himself into another corner.
She nodded. "What do you think about all this Christmas stuff the humans are going crazy over? I can't go into a store without seeing the decorations, or the people loaded down with stuff. Today Tanya and I heard these songs, carols I think they're called, and I really liked them, they were so cheerful."
"We don't have the same custom, so it's a little hard to relate sometimes, but what I like most about it I guess is that they all get together as family. I definitely approve of that, you know how important family is to me," he answered.
She nodded her agreement. She laughed before she said, "Speaking of family, this morning I told your brother I was going to call him Nose from now on, you should have seen the look on his face."
Wildwing laughed, "Yeah, he told me about that. Be on your guard for a while, he was looking for prank ideas."
She rolled her eyes; it was nothing she wasn't used to. There was an odd look on her face when she next looked his way. "Does anybody ever call you Wild?" she asked.
His brow lifted in surprise as he considered for a moment. "You know, I don't think I've ever been called that, I've always been Wing. I don't mind if you call me that though."
A thoughtful "Hmmm. . ." was her only reply, and then silence stretched between them. Before he knew what she was doing, she had lightly pushed herself away from the side as thoughts of "Bad idea Mallory, bad!" played through her mind, and pulled up behind him.
When he had stopped looking around in bewilderment trying to figure out what she was doing, she asked simply, "Massage?" Completely confused, (A/N: that's happened to him a lot tonight, hasn't it?), speech was beyond him once again, so he let the action of presenting his back to her in full show his acceptance. Her strong hands came to rest on his shoulders and he couldn't stop the groan that left him as she began to massage out the kinks in his muscles from sitting for so long earlier.
A few minutes had gone by in silence when next Mallory commented, "Alright Wild," she laughed softly; "I have another question for you. What is the thing you are most afraid of?"
"Oh that's an easy one," he said. "Not setting a good enough example for Dive, not getting to see Puckworld again and knowing what happened to everyone after we left, not getting to settle down with that special someone, there's lots of things I guess. The biggest would have to be failing as a leader I think."
Her hands stilled after his last comment. "But you've been a great leader," she said. Mallory resumed her massage as she continued. "Sure, maybe there have been a few shaky times, but I don't think any of the rest of us could have done it. You remember that day when we thought we'd lost you and we tried to pick another leader? That was an absolute joke, we fell apart. You wouldn't believe the relief when we had you back; you're the only one who seems to be able to keep us together. I don't think even Canard could have done it, I don't think he would have . . . cared, the way that you seem to."
"I didn't know you felt that way," he said softly.
She continued thoughtfully as if he hadn't spoken, "Like, when Dragaunus was gone, you were such a rock for the rest of us, we had such a hard time coming to grips with it, but you never lost hope and you were always there for us. You were the one to hold us up and keep us strong, no matter how scared or angry we were in our frustration. You know, I think half the reason the rest of want to go back now is to see you finally happy, it's not just for our own personal reasons. We want your dreams to come true just as much as we want our own."
She didn't think it was only her imagination that his back straightened just a fraction, as if a weight long borne was finally off his shoulders. She realized that maybe they hadn't told him enough how much he meant to them, and was doubly glad now that she had said her piece.
"Thank you," he said quietly. He doubted she had any idea how much he had needed to hear that he had her approval and acceptance, hers perhaps more than all the others.
He laughed slightly, "I'm not even going to ask what you're afraid of, we all know nothing gets to you."
Several moments had gone by before he heard her say softly, "That's not true."
He turned his head slightly to look at her. "Will you tell me?" he asked.
Mallory sighed and he felt her breath waft gently across his neck. For a minute he didn't think she was going to answer, but then she started to speak.
"Well, I guess my fears mirror yours in a lot of ways. Sure, I may present a front that screams military, but it's not entirely like that inside. I love my family, I'm desperate to see them again, yet terrified that something has happened to them. The last I heard of my father he was heading into battle with the Saurians near our home base, and my mother had refused to go to a safer location in order to stay with him. We knew that there was a chance something like this would happen, we always treasured the times we had together, but I hate that we didn't get to say good-bye, we left so suddenly. I hate that we're here, I hate that we're completely isolated, and I hate that we know nothing of what we left behind or what we'll find if we somehow get back," she finished bitterly.
Wildwing could sense that she was deeply upset, but knew words were unnecessary. She knew he understood. All he could offer her was comfort. He reached behind him and pulled her out from the corner, resettling her in front of him. With her back to his chest and his arms wrapped around her, he let his chin rest against the side of her head, hoping she would find solace in the fact that for once she was not alone. With such an atmosphere of intimacy and honesty she found it easy to accept his support, and finally let that inner, impenetrable wall down for just a little while.
"I promise you that someday, somehow, we'll find a way. There's no telling how long it will take, but we can't give up hope," he said.
"I know," she answered, calmer once again in his comforting embrace.
They stayed that way for a while, each having found a small measure of peace. Wildwing began to notice that he was getting drowsy with the heat from the water, and his thoughts were going places they shouldn't with her so near to him, so he thought the safest course of action would be to keep talking with her.
"Was there anything else you wanted to talk about? Any more fears hidden inside the mystery that is Mallory?" he asked, his voice close to her ear. Almost instantly she began to fidget.
"Well. . ."
He jostled her a bit, amused now that he had actually found something that made Mallory of all ducks squirm. "Go ahead, anything. Nobody but me and the stars to hear you," he said encouragingly.
"You'll laugh. . ." she grumbled.
Of course he had to laugh at that, but quickly got himself under control. "I promise not to laugh, go ahead," he said.
She pinched his leg in return for his laughter, but she forged onwards. "It's nothing big . . . probably not something I'll ever have to worry about even, but . . . the thought of ever having to raise a youngling, to be fully responsible for shaping someone's life . . . has always intimidated me. The high-ranked daughter of the General of Puckworld's army, the girl who has been in numerous battles and come out successful every single time, is scared to have children . . . how lame is that? I've trained countless troops to be exceptional soldiers in combat, yet I just can't see myself changing diapers, kissing boo boos, and starting a college fund. I just don't think I have it in me."
That did it; he was floored. That was the last thing he expected her to say. He couldn't stop the short laugh that escaped him. "What?" he asked when her squirming intensified to the point where she was trying to get away from him, and he realized he had given her the wrong impression. He scooped her back up into his arms before she got too far as he said,
"Wait Mal, hold up, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed, but it was the last thing I expected to hear."
She had curled up tensely in front of him. "I knew I shouldn't have told you," she muttered.
He let his head rest on the top of hers once again and was silent for a moment. "So the thought of having children scares you, huh?" he asked. When she didn't answer he continued softly, "I don't think you have anything to worry about Mal, I think you'd be a great mom."
What had begun as a yawn for Mallory ended in a sound of disbelief. "What are you talking about? I'd kill them in a week! I don't know the first thing about parenting!" she exclaimed.
"Now see, I'd have to disagree with you there. I think you are responsible, and totally capable of loving, of caring, and filling the role of mother. You have this iron resolve to take care of what's yours and defend it with everything you have, I think that kind of devotion to what's important to you would carry over so easily to a young one of your own."
The combination of the warmth in his voice and in the water was soothing her to the point that she was falling asleep. "I still don't think that . . ."
"Hush," he cut in, "despite the steely exterior you present to us all, I know that who you are inside has everything it takes. You have so much to offer, I believe when the time comes you'll be absolutely wonderful. You have nothing to worry about Mal."
Over the past few minutes he had felt her body relax into him, once more at peace. A soft sigh was her only reply, and he left her alone to her thoughts. Soon her head had settled completely back onto his chest; sleep had finally overtaken her. He knew he should wake her and get her inside, but for just a little longer Wildwing held her close, as he had wanted to do for so long but couldn't.
Sleep hovered too closely in his mind; it was time to get up. Still cradling her in his arms, he waded back over to the edge nearest the door and gently shook her awake.
"Mal?"
"Hmm?" she replied sleepily.
"Can you reach out and grab your robe and my towel? We'll make a run for the door, it's time to go in." She nodded in understanding and did as he asked. In one fluid move he had lifted her out of the water and stepped quickly towards the cabin, his breath hissing out as the cold air hit his heated body. Still half asleep, Mallory clung tightly to his shoulders with her free arm, pressed close to hold in any remaining heat.
Wildwing got them inside and they sighed in relief at the warmth of the house. Reluctantly he set her on her feet and they began to dry off. Wrapped once again in her robe she padded softly towards her door, and soon after he followed. As his room was across the hall from hers, he stopped briefly to look down at her with an expression on his face she was afraid to read too deeply into, she couldn't let this go any further. He watched a myriad of emotions pass over her face and then settle into a neutral expression, telling him once again she was closed off to him; the wall was back in place.
"Good night Mal," he said softly.
"Good night Wing," she returned, and then disappeared into her room without looking back.
He stood there in the hall for a moment, slowly continuing to dry his feathers with the towel as he thought about the past evening. Now that he knew what was behind her defenses he was even more determined to reach her.
"You're mine Mallory. Mine," he whispered to the empty hallway. He turned to go into his own room where he too would finally succumb to darkness and dreams.
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AN: I just wanted to apologize to anyone who tried to review before and couldn't, I didn't realize until recently that the 'does not accept anonymous reviews' option was set. It's off now however, and I welcome any comments. I hope you enjoyed my latest update, I'll try to post next time before another three months go by *blushes guiltily*.
Affectionately,
~ Silver
Ps. Thanks to duckwoman for getting my rear in gear to finish this ;)
All I Want For Christmas
"Special delivery!" said Tanya the next morning as she set the load of groceries she carried on the counter. Mallory followed her with another armful, snapping her raspberry gum loudly. She reached into one of the bags and pulled out a box of Froot Loops. "Here's your cereal Dive," she said, as she tossed him the box.
"Score! Thanks Mal!" He was sitting at the table with a bowl full of milk in front of him for when they got back. Duke had been sitting beside him drinking his coffee and just shook his head at the young duck. Mallory was helping Tanya put groceries away when she stopped, looking thoughtful.
"Hmm . . . you know, instead of 'Dive', I think I'm going to call you 'Nose'. Just because I can," she smiled tauntingly. His spoon stopped halfway to his mouth, dripping milk, and the look of crushed disbelief on his face made them all burst out laughing.
She passed behind him, still laughing, and cuffed him on the back of the head. "I'm just kidding Dive." He just glowered back into his cereal.
"You're in a good mood this morning Mal," commented Duke.
She just shrugged. "Tanya and I rented a bunch of movies and picked up some drink that Mookie recommended, it's called strawberry daiquiri. Girls night."
"Hmm. sounds nice. Divey-boy here is coming with me into town tonight, see what kinda night life we can scare up," said Duke.
Tanya looked over her shoulder as she put something up on a shelf. "Heh, just be gentle on him eh? He's just a, uh, kid remember," she said jokingly.
Nosedive jumped up and stomped his foot, "Geez! What is this? Pick on Dive week?" He dropped his dishes in the sink and shook his head as he left the room to the other's laughter.
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That evening Wildwing walked down the upstairs hallway; book in hand, intending to go downstairs to read. He was caught up short as he passed Tanya's room, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Laughter. He was hearing pure, feminine, giddy laughter. The sound was so foreign to hear from both Mallory and Tanya; he couldn't even begin to guess what could be funny enough to bring both of them to such a state.
His interest was caught and he lifted a hand to knock. Reason finally caught up with him however, and he realized he probably wouldn't understand anyway. He shook his head at the mysteries of the female species as he continued on his way to the living room.
A few hours later, Wing's eyes were tired and burning from reading in the low light of the fire. He had already put his book down and was about to get up, but he heard a loud noise behind him. He turned curiously to look around the chair and for the second time that night was very confused. Mallory stood at the bottom of the stairwell, looking rather accusingly at the post as if it had done something wrong. From his perspective it seemed that she had been the one to run into it, but her expression said she thought otherwise. Clad in only a bathrobe from what he could see, something just didn't seem right. She looked up in his direction and blinked as if she was trying to focus on him. The post was forgotten as she weaved her way over to him and knelt down beside his chair, staring up at him expectantly.
When she made no move to say anything, Wildwing broke the silence, "Mal, are you alright?"
Her eyes were wandering around the room, unable to focus her attention, and she gave a half-laugh before she spoke, "Do you remember when Duke had that stuff called vodka, then started doing a strip tease for Tanya? And we found out it was the alcohol in it that our species can't handle well? Mookie didn't mention there was alcohol in strawberry daiquiris . . . we figured it out on our own after we had a few drinks . . . I'm still a little tipsy," she added with a hiccup.
Wildwing had his head in his hands, the episode with Duke playing frighteningly through his mind. A thought suddenly occurred to him, "Where's Tanya?"
Mallory had brought her focus down to the chair and was absentmindedly tracing the fabric pattern with her fingernail. "She passed out a while ago, she's fine. Everyone else is asleep too and I'm bored," she announced, pouting a little, which was entirely unlike her.
He stretched and laughed, "I don't know what you want me to do about that, I was heading up to bed myself."
She sat a little straighter and managed to look both adorably determined and drunkenly bewildered at the same time. "What I want is to try out the Jacuzzi but only if I don't have to go alone, so as my friend," she punched him lightly on the arm for emphasis, "you have to come with me."
"Mal, it's 2 AM!" he said, surprised. Curiosity fluttered at the back of his mind as he wondered why she had stressed the word 'friend' as strongly as she had, but she interrupted his thoughts.
"Come on Wing," she cajoled, "the water's at the perfect temperature and it's a gorgeous night." She pulled on his arm to make him get up. He allowed himself to be maneuvered, unsure how to handle this entirely different side to his normally un-impulsive, militaristic teammate. She dragged him along by the hand to the stairs, stopping only when they reached his door, and waited for him to go inside.
"Now get your suit, if you're not out in one minute I'm coming in to get you" she said teasingly. Still a little stunned at this never-before- seen side to her, he did as he was told. Afraid that she had meant what she said, he found his suit, grabbed a towel and was out with ten seconds to spare.
"Excellent!" she exclaimed when his door reopened, grabbing his hand to pull him back down the hallway to the deck entrance.
"Mal, are you sure about this?" he asked one more time, not particularly keen on going out in the cold.
"Yup," she answered simply and slid open the door, pushing him out in front of her. Being from a planet covered in ice for most of the year, he could handle cold, but the blast of air that hit him stole away most of his breath and his agreeableness to go any further. Unfortunately for him, Mallory was stronger than she looked and pushed him out anyways. Pulling the door closed behind her she stepped lightly around him, not seeming to mind the cold as she untied her robe, the alcohol left in her system keeping her just warm enough. The Jacuzzi in front of them beckoned, the water was steaming gently. Sunk into the floor, it was bottom-lit, the soft blue light casting an almost ethereal glow on the rest of the darkened balcony.
She stepped up to the edge of the water and her robe pooled at her feet. What was left of the oxygen in his lungs rushed out. Mallory stepped down into the water; seemingly unaware of the chaos she had left behind her in his mind. Her bathing suit hugged her figure intimately, leaving very little to his imagination, but it was her confidence and comfort with herself that he had always admired most. She was submerged to her waist before she turned around.
"Are you coming?"
Wildwing's feet finally got the message that relief from the cold was right in front of him, and he walked forwards into the water, stopping only when he was immersed up to his neck. His eyes closed as he savored the heat that began to flow through him, a quiet sigh left him as his blood warmed. He opened his eyes to see what had become of Mallory.
She was on the other side of the hot tub, slowly maneuvering around with her head above water, not wanting to dunk and then leave wet hair exposed to the cold. She settled herself into one of the corners formed by the steps and looked at him thoughtfully.
"We don't get to talk a lot, you and I, do we?" she asked.
He considered for a moment before shaking his head. "We're here now," he said, and settled himself into another corner.
She nodded. "What do you think about all this Christmas stuff the humans are going crazy over? I can't go into a store without seeing the decorations, or the people loaded down with stuff. Today Tanya and I heard these songs, carols I think they're called, and I really liked them, they were so cheerful."
"We don't have the same custom, so it's a little hard to relate sometimes, but what I like most about it I guess is that they all get together as family. I definitely approve of that, you know how important family is to me," he answered.
She nodded her agreement. She laughed before she said, "Speaking of family, this morning I told your brother I was going to call him Nose from now on, you should have seen the look on his face."
Wildwing laughed, "Yeah, he told me about that. Be on your guard for a while, he was looking for prank ideas."
She rolled her eyes; it was nothing she wasn't used to. There was an odd look on her face when she next looked his way. "Does anybody ever call you Wild?" she asked.
His brow lifted in surprise as he considered for a moment. "You know, I don't think I've ever been called that, I've always been Wing. I don't mind if you call me that though."
A thoughtful "Hmmm. . ." was her only reply, and then silence stretched between them. Before he knew what she was doing, she had lightly pushed herself away from the side as thoughts of "Bad idea Mallory, bad!" played through her mind, and pulled up behind him.
When he had stopped looking around in bewilderment trying to figure out what she was doing, she asked simply, "Massage?" Completely confused, (A/N: that's happened to him a lot tonight, hasn't it?), speech was beyond him once again, so he let the action of presenting his back to her in full show his acceptance. Her strong hands came to rest on his shoulders and he couldn't stop the groan that left him as she began to massage out the kinks in his muscles from sitting for so long earlier.
A few minutes had gone by in silence when next Mallory commented, "Alright Wild," she laughed softly; "I have another question for you. What is the thing you are most afraid of?"
"Oh that's an easy one," he said. "Not setting a good enough example for Dive, not getting to see Puckworld again and knowing what happened to everyone after we left, not getting to settle down with that special someone, there's lots of things I guess. The biggest would have to be failing as a leader I think."
Her hands stilled after his last comment. "But you've been a great leader," she said. Mallory resumed her massage as she continued. "Sure, maybe there have been a few shaky times, but I don't think any of the rest of us could have done it. You remember that day when we thought we'd lost you and we tried to pick another leader? That was an absolute joke, we fell apart. You wouldn't believe the relief when we had you back; you're the only one who seems to be able to keep us together. I don't think even Canard could have done it, I don't think he would have . . . cared, the way that you seem to."
"I didn't know you felt that way," he said softly.
She continued thoughtfully as if he hadn't spoken, "Like, when Dragaunus was gone, you were such a rock for the rest of us, we had such a hard time coming to grips with it, but you never lost hope and you were always there for us. You were the one to hold us up and keep us strong, no matter how scared or angry we were in our frustration. You know, I think half the reason the rest of want to go back now is to see you finally happy, it's not just for our own personal reasons. We want your dreams to come true just as much as we want our own."
She didn't think it was only her imagination that his back straightened just a fraction, as if a weight long borne was finally off his shoulders. She realized that maybe they hadn't told him enough how much he meant to them, and was doubly glad now that she had said her piece.
"Thank you," he said quietly. He doubted she had any idea how much he had needed to hear that he had her approval and acceptance, hers perhaps more than all the others.
He laughed slightly, "I'm not even going to ask what you're afraid of, we all know nothing gets to you."
Several moments had gone by before he heard her say softly, "That's not true."
He turned his head slightly to look at her. "Will you tell me?" he asked.
Mallory sighed and he felt her breath waft gently across his neck. For a minute he didn't think she was going to answer, but then she started to speak.
"Well, I guess my fears mirror yours in a lot of ways. Sure, I may present a front that screams military, but it's not entirely like that inside. I love my family, I'm desperate to see them again, yet terrified that something has happened to them. The last I heard of my father he was heading into battle with the Saurians near our home base, and my mother had refused to go to a safer location in order to stay with him. We knew that there was a chance something like this would happen, we always treasured the times we had together, but I hate that we didn't get to say good-bye, we left so suddenly. I hate that we're here, I hate that we're completely isolated, and I hate that we know nothing of what we left behind or what we'll find if we somehow get back," she finished bitterly.
Wildwing could sense that she was deeply upset, but knew words were unnecessary. She knew he understood. All he could offer her was comfort. He reached behind him and pulled her out from the corner, resettling her in front of him. With her back to his chest and his arms wrapped around her, he let his chin rest against the side of her head, hoping she would find solace in the fact that for once she was not alone. With such an atmosphere of intimacy and honesty she found it easy to accept his support, and finally let that inner, impenetrable wall down for just a little while.
"I promise you that someday, somehow, we'll find a way. There's no telling how long it will take, but we can't give up hope," he said.
"I know," she answered, calmer once again in his comforting embrace.
They stayed that way for a while, each having found a small measure of peace. Wildwing began to notice that he was getting drowsy with the heat from the water, and his thoughts were going places they shouldn't with her so near to him, so he thought the safest course of action would be to keep talking with her.
"Was there anything else you wanted to talk about? Any more fears hidden inside the mystery that is Mallory?" he asked, his voice close to her ear. Almost instantly she began to fidget.
"Well. . ."
He jostled her a bit, amused now that he had actually found something that made Mallory of all ducks squirm. "Go ahead, anything. Nobody but me and the stars to hear you," he said encouragingly.
"You'll laugh. . ." she grumbled.
Of course he had to laugh at that, but quickly got himself under control. "I promise not to laugh, go ahead," he said.
She pinched his leg in return for his laughter, but she forged onwards. "It's nothing big . . . probably not something I'll ever have to worry about even, but . . . the thought of ever having to raise a youngling, to be fully responsible for shaping someone's life . . . has always intimidated me. The high-ranked daughter of the General of Puckworld's army, the girl who has been in numerous battles and come out successful every single time, is scared to have children . . . how lame is that? I've trained countless troops to be exceptional soldiers in combat, yet I just can't see myself changing diapers, kissing boo boos, and starting a college fund. I just don't think I have it in me."
That did it; he was floored. That was the last thing he expected her to say. He couldn't stop the short laugh that escaped him. "What?" he asked when her squirming intensified to the point where she was trying to get away from him, and he realized he had given her the wrong impression. He scooped her back up into his arms before she got too far as he said,
"Wait Mal, hold up, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed, but it was the last thing I expected to hear."
She had curled up tensely in front of him. "I knew I shouldn't have told you," she muttered.
He let his head rest on the top of hers once again and was silent for a moment. "So the thought of having children scares you, huh?" he asked. When she didn't answer he continued softly, "I don't think you have anything to worry about Mal, I think you'd be a great mom."
What had begun as a yawn for Mallory ended in a sound of disbelief. "What are you talking about? I'd kill them in a week! I don't know the first thing about parenting!" she exclaimed.
"Now see, I'd have to disagree with you there. I think you are responsible, and totally capable of loving, of caring, and filling the role of mother. You have this iron resolve to take care of what's yours and defend it with everything you have, I think that kind of devotion to what's important to you would carry over so easily to a young one of your own."
The combination of the warmth in his voice and in the water was soothing her to the point that she was falling asleep. "I still don't think that . . ."
"Hush," he cut in, "despite the steely exterior you present to us all, I know that who you are inside has everything it takes. You have so much to offer, I believe when the time comes you'll be absolutely wonderful. You have nothing to worry about Mal."
Over the past few minutes he had felt her body relax into him, once more at peace. A soft sigh was her only reply, and he left her alone to her thoughts. Soon her head had settled completely back onto his chest; sleep had finally overtaken her. He knew he should wake her and get her inside, but for just a little longer Wildwing held her close, as he had wanted to do for so long but couldn't.
Sleep hovered too closely in his mind; it was time to get up. Still cradling her in his arms, he waded back over to the edge nearest the door and gently shook her awake.
"Mal?"
"Hmm?" she replied sleepily.
"Can you reach out and grab your robe and my towel? We'll make a run for the door, it's time to go in." She nodded in understanding and did as he asked. In one fluid move he had lifted her out of the water and stepped quickly towards the cabin, his breath hissing out as the cold air hit his heated body. Still half asleep, Mallory clung tightly to his shoulders with her free arm, pressed close to hold in any remaining heat.
Wildwing got them inside and they sighed in relief at the warmth of the house. Reluctantly he set her on her feet and they began to dry off. Wrapped once again in her robe she padded softly towards her door, and soon after he followed. As his room was across the hall from hers, he stopped briefly to look down at her with an expression on his face she was afraid to read too deeply into, she couldn't let this go any further. He watched a myriad of emotions pass over her face and then settle into a neutral expression, telling him once again she was closed off to him; the wall was back in place.
"Good night Mal," he said softly.
"Good night Wing," she returned, and then disappeared into her room without looking back.
He stood there in the hall for a moment, slowly continuing to dry his feathers with the towel as he thought about the past evening. Now that he knew what was behind her defenses he was even more determined to reach her.
"You're mine Mallory. Mine," he whispered to the empty hallway. He turned to go into his own room where he too would finally succumb to darkness and dreams.
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AN: I just wanted to apologize to anyone who tried to review before and couldn't, I didn't realize until recently that the 'does not accept anonymous reviews' option was set. It's off now however, and I welcome any comments. I hope you enjoyed my latest update, I'll try to post next time before another three months go by *blushes guiltily*.
Affectionately,
~ Silver
Ps. Thanks to duckwoman for getting my rear in gear to finish this ;)