Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, just like to play with 'em.
Chapter 3 – Confrontation
"Tell me about what happened with Persia," she said and held her breath.
Fathomless black eyes stared back at her. "Get out of my workroom, Granger," he purred dangerously.
"I will not. If I leave this room, Merlin knows what you will do to yourself."
"And what are you planning to do, Miss Granger? Come to my rescue? Save me from myself and all that nonsense you spouted three years ago?
"I've done it before and I'll do it again!" She leaned over the table and stared down at the man who had taught her and frightened her for nearly a decade.
He stood finally and slammed his open palms down on the table, satisfaction filling him as his apprentice nearly fell off the edge of the table. "Did it ever occur to you, you stupid heedless Gryffindor, that I didn't ever want to be saved?!" He ran his hand wildly through his long black hair, long pale fingers shaking. "My usefulness was gone, my purpose fulfilled, and all I had to show for my life was the throbbing mark of a pure evil forever etched into my skin. I had no cause for celebration, no parties thrown in my honor. I wanted to die, to finish out this worthless existence and finally be free but you, you didn't let me. You cannot save me, Hermione, for there was never anything there to save."
"But-"
"No!" He shouted at her. "I am a cold blooded bastard, a cruel, sadistic shell of a man and I have lived far longer than I have deserved. When I woke up in the hospital wing, shocked and surprised that I was not dead on the stone floor of my office, I realized that if I could not die properly, I needed to live properly. A home, a woman, a…family, that's what I wanted. I allowed myself to hope and look where it has gotten me. If you had just allowed me to die…"
"I couldn't," she whispered. He hated the pity in her eyes.
"I know." In that moment, master and apprentice, student and teacher, man and woman finally understood one another. Snape felt his anger melting away as silence filled the void his confession had left. Not meeting her eyes, he turned away from Hermione and settled himself back down in his chair. His head fell forward into his hands and he knew that the forever inquisitive Miss Granger would soon ask her question once more. He wasn't wrong.
"Why isn't Persia pregnant?"
"She wasn't ever. She charmed herself to make me believe she was." He still didn't look at her.
"But why?" Damned nosy Gryffindor. He barely prevented the involuntary rolling of his eyes at her insistent tone.
"She is a liar. We're well suited, her and I."
Hermione looked thoughtful. "There must be some other explanation. You adore…" she trailed off as he fixed a glare upon her. "You mean, you don't love her?"
"No."
"But she's been your lover for two years! You wanted to start a family with her!" Snape heard the incredulity in her voice and couldn't help but sneer.
"In my experience, Miss Granger, love hardly factors into such matters." He finally looked at her and was vaguely surprised at the fury etched across her features. She was nearly shaking with it.
"Like hell, it doesn't! Children, marriage, all those things you claim to want require it!"
He couldn't help but goad her. "Hardly."
"So you would have raised her child, married her, knowing the whole time that she was not your soul mate?"
He found himself laughing mirthlessly at that naïve question. "Soul mate, Miss Granger? Such unexpected sentimentality coming from you, the brainy level headed foil to Potter and Weasley's passionate impulsivity. Who, I wonder, would inspire such ardor in the normally intellectual Hermione Granger?"
"You great greasy git!"
"Alliteration is unbecoming to you, Miss Granger."
"Stuff it!" She yanked her book bag so hard the strap snapped apart and spilled the contents across the floor. She dropped to her knees and began to agitatedly collect her belongings. "You know nothing about me, nothing at all! Oh ho, but I know you, believe me I know you. I know you are the most insufferable-" she stuffed in a handful of quills. "…brilliant…" Her inkbottle followed. "…snarky…" Her parchment of notes. "…bastard alive." She thrust her books back in the bag and stood to face her professor, eyes blazing and heart on her sleeve. "And I've been in love with you for three years but you're too bloody blind to see it! So take your self pity and your stupid derisive ideas of love and shove them up your arse!" The Gryffindor in her reared its lion head and she found herself staring defiantly into Snape's eyes.
Severus Snape could honestly say that he had only been truly surprised twice in his life before that moment. The first time had been at his first Dark Revel when he was just five days past his eighteenth birthday and already well on his way to becoming one of the most masterful potion brewers of his generation. On that night, he'd become an official Deatheater and he'd been shocked at the tangible disgust he'd experienced during that night's activities. To this day, he still could not remember what had actually happen, only that roiling feeling of complete revulsion that had driven him to Dumbledore a mere six months later. The second surprise of his life had come when he'd woken up in the hospital wing after shredding his arm - alive.
Standing in front of him, a bulging book bag slung over her shoulder, slightly frizzy hair escaping from her hastily tied up bun, and a look of supreme determination on her face, was the biggest surprise of his life. The student and apprentice was still there, evident in the sensible shoes, knee socks, and black over-robes she wore, but for the first time ever he was forced to see her as a woman. And his reaction was more disturbing than any emotion he had ever felt at a Dark Revel.
"Miss Granger, I hardly think that is appropriate," was the only thing he could find in his mind to say so he drawled it out as soon as he regained the capacity for speech. The woman before him seemed to wilt slightly and she began to worry at her bottom lip with her teeth. He watched her nod once before turning and walking determinedly toward the door.
"Miss Granger-" He called after he as her fingertips touched the doorknob. She hesitated for a bare fraction of a second before wrenching the door open, suddenly desperate to escape. The unidentifiable feelings rushed through him again and he stood, shaken and panicky, and called her name again. "Hermione!"
Without a look backward, she slipped through the door and was gone.
A/N: Well, that was a surprising chapter! I didn't really intend for Hermione to fess up just yet but she apparently had different ideas. This chapter was very difficult for me because I began the story without a clear idea of where it was going. Now that I'm over the hump, I've worked out the rest and I figure there'll be two more chapters after this one. Thanks for reading and please review! ~ Sara
Chapter 3 – Confrontation
"Tell me about what happened with Persia," she said and held her breath.
Fathomless black eyes stared back at her. "Get out of my workroom, Granger," he purred dangerously.
"I will not. If I leave this room, Merlin knows what you will do to yourself."
"And what are you planning to do, Miss Granger? Come to my rescue? Save me from myself and all that nonsense you spouted three years ago?
"I've done it before and I'll do it again!" She leaned over the table and stared down at the man who had taught her and frightened her for nearly a decade.
He stood finally and slammed his open palms down on the table, satisfaction filling him as his apprentice nearly fell off the edge of the table. "Did it ever occur to you, you stupid heedless Gryffindor, that I didn't ever want to be saved?!" He ran his hand wildly through his long black hair, long pale fingers shaking. "My usefulness was gone, my purpose fulfilled, and all I had to show for my life was the throbbing mark of a pure evil forever etched into my skin. I had no cause for celebration, no parties thrown in my honor. I wanted to die, to finish out this worthless existence and finally be free but you, you didn't let me. You cannot save me, Hermione, for there was never anything there to save."
"But-"
"No!" He shouted at her. "I am a cold blooded bastard, a cruel, sadistic shell of a man and I have lived far longer than I have deserved. When I woke up in the hospital wing, shocked and surprised that I was not dead on the stone floor of my office, I realized that if I could not die properly, I needed to live properly. A home, a woman, a…family, that's what I wanted. I allowed myself to hope and look where it has gotten me. If you had just allowed me to die…"
"I couldn't," she whispered. He hated the pity in her eyes.
"I know." In that moment, master and apprentice, student and teacher, man and woman finally understood one another. Snape felt his anger melting away as silence filled the void his confession had left. Not meeting her eyes, he turned away from Hermione and settled himself back down in his chair. His head fell forward into his hands and he knew that the forever inquisitive Miss Granger would soon ask her question once more. He wasn't wrong.
"Why isn't Persia pregnant?"
"She wasn't ever. She charmed herself to make me believe she was." He still didn't look at her.
"But why?" Damned nosy Gryffindor. He barely prevented the involuntary rolling of his eyes at her insistent tone.
"She is a liar. We're well suited, her and I."
Hermione looked thoughtful. "There must be some other explanation. You adore…" she trailed off as he fixed a glare upon her. "You mean, you don't love her?"
"No."
"But she's been your lover for two years! You wanted to start a family with her!" Snape heard the incredulity in her voice and couldn't help but sneer.
"In my experience, Miss Granger, love hardly factors into such matters." He finally looked at her and was vaguely surprised at the fury etched across her features. She was nearly shaking with it.
"Like hell, it doesn't! Children, marriage, all those things you claim to want require it!"
He couldn't help but goad her. "Hardly."
"So you would have raised her child, married her, knowing the whole time that she was not your soul mate?"
He found himself laughing mirthlessly at that naïve question. "Soul mate, Miss Granger? Such unexpected sentimentality coming from you, the brainy level headed foil to Potter and Weasley's passionate impulsivity. Who, I wonder, would inspire such ardor in the normally intellectual Hermione Granger?"
"You great greasy git!"
"Alliteration is unbecoming to you, Miss Granger."
"Stuff it!" She yanked her book bag so hard the strap snapped apart and spilled the contents across the floor. She dropped to her knees and began to agitatedly collect her belongings. "You know nothing about me, nothing at all! Oh ho, but I know you, believe me I know you. I know you are the most insufferable-" she stuffed in a handful of quills. "…brilliant…" Her inkbottle followed. "…snarky…" Her parchment of notes. "…bastard alive." She thrust her books back in the bag and stood to face her professor, eyes blazing and heart on her sleeve. "And I've been in love with you for three years but you're too bloody blind to see it! So take your self pity and your stupid derisive ideas of love and shove them up your arse!" The Gryffindor in her reared its lion head and she found herself staring defiantly into Snape's eyes.
Severus Snape could honestly say that he had only been truly surprised twice in his life before that moment. The first time had been at his first Dark Revel when he was just five days past his eighteenth birthday and already well on his way to becoming one of the most masterful potion brewers of his generation. On that night, he'd become an official Deatheater and he'd been shocked at the tangible disgust he'd experienced during that night's activities. To this day, he still could not remember what had actually happen, only that roiling feeling of complete revulsion that had driven him to Dumbledore a mere six months later. The second surprise of his life had come when he'd woken up in the hospital wing after shredding his arm - alive.
Standing in front of him, a bulging book bag slung over her shoulder, slightly frizzy hair escaping from her hastily tied up bun, and a look of supreme determination on her face, was the biggest surprise of his life. The student and apprentice was still there, evident in the sensible shoes, knee socks, and black over-robes she wore, but for the first time ever he was forced to see her as a woman. And his reaction was more disturbing than any emotion he had ever felt at a Dark Revel.
"Miss Granger, I hardly think that is appropriate," was the only thing he could find in his mind to say so he drawled it out as soon as he regained the capacity for speech. The woman before him seemed to wilt slightly and she began to worry at her bottom lip with her teeth. He watched her nod once before turning and walking determinedly toward the door.
"Miss Granger-" He called after he as her fingertips touched the doorknob. She hesitated for a bare fraction of a second before wrenching the door open, suddenly desperate to escape. The unidentifiable feelings rushed through him again and he stood, shaken and panicky, and called her name again. "Hermione!"
Without a look backward, she slipped through the door and was gone.
A/N: Well, that was a surprising chapter! I didn't really intend for Hermione to fess up just yet but she apparently had different ideas. This chapter was very difficult for me because I began the story without a clear idea of where it was going. Now that I'm over the hump, I've worked out the rest and I figure there'll be two more chapters after this one. Thanks for reading and please review! ~ Sara