Disclaimer: $400 on my bank account and the stubbornly alive baby bonsai...
PART I - MERLIN BLESS THE NIGHT
Chapter 1 …Or Maybe Not
Hogwarts. Six weeks after the Great Elf Upgrading.
MERLIN BLESS THE NIGHT!!!
Merlin bless the night for the merciful darkness it provides; the darkness in which it is so much easier to carry out unnoticed all those little dirty things, which bear not daylight.
Because the heavenly proud, hellishly noble, hopelessly brave, wonderfully defiant, rather handsome, filthy rich, incurably famous and extremely shy Harry James Klapka James Turin Turambar Mama Mia Potter will never (did you hear me? never!) be seen carrying the 9 and 3/4 pounds of his dirty laundry all the way down from his high tower to the lowest dungeons of this very prestigious but, sadly, very medieval, and now also very much elf-less (oh, thank you so much, Hermione!) H. School of W.&W.!!!
He'd rather die first... Or maybe not.
He'd rather give his dirty socks and underpants a second chance without trial… eh… washing. And then, maybe, a third one... And then a forth. And then... Or maybe not.
So Merlin bless twice the night in which a savior of both the Wz. & Mg. Worlds can safely do his laundry without everybody instantly knowing the color of his Quid-Ditch Bludger-Proof Underwear! Ah, if only he could remember the original color of his unmentionables himself!.. Or maybe not…
Harry Potter tiredly dragged his heavy load through yet another utterly neglected, dirty, dusty, and torch-less corridor (did we thank you yet, Hermione?). At first, he didn't pay much attention to the chamber concert of angry voices coming around the corner - after all, nowadays the whole castle was buzzing with symphonies of voiced discontent.
But the voices grew louder and, his heart giving a mighty jolt, Harry recognized his most hated teacher's expensive timbre (97% silk, 3% spandex). The second, younger voice (expertly bouncing on the constant verge of hysteria) seemed to be mercifully unfamiliar... Or maybe not.
Soon, he could make out the words.
...
"So, you knew it all along?!"
"Knew what?"
"That I'm your long-lost-and-found son!!!"
"My what? Oh... Hmm… Of course I did."
"Then why didn't you acknowledge me?"
"I've always wanted a daughter."
"So you'd rather leave me with those… those…guardians?!"
"Would you rather be acknowledged as my daughter?"
"You… You bastard!!!"
"I'm most certainly not! As for you... well..."
...
The voices were rapidly approaching to his (NW) side of the corner, and Harry barely had time to hide in his conveniently big laundry bag. The aromatherapy provided by all the unmentionable chances piled together was slightly overwhelming, but casting an Invisible & Unscented Patronus Deodorum charm he regained just enough strength of will to stick his head out of his shelter. And about time as well... Or maybe not.
Harry J.K.J.T.T.M.M. Potter gasped silently but loudly enough to not be overheard. Right ahead of him, standing shyly but defiantly on his tip-toes, face-to-face with the dreadful Potions Master was...
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AN EVIL UNFORGIVABLE CLIFFHANGER!!!
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Or maybe not.
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So, right ahead of him, firmly holding his ground before the dreadful P.M. of H.S. of W&W stood...
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Nope. Definitely a cliffhanger here :)