Disclaimer: $360 on my bank account and the new beautiful pot for my baby bonsai...

A/N - In answer to all the unfounded accusations that I am trying to kill my readers by laughter:

Well, I am not... And even if I am, you've got no proof :)

PART I - MERLIN BLESS THE NIGHT

Chapter 2 Invoices in the Dark

So, right ahead of him stood... him. Another Harry Bloody Potter.

"Wow, that makes two of us!!!" thought Harry B. Potter #1 excitedly, sticking his thin neck further out of the bag.

[It needs to be mentioned here that Harry, though a very talented wizard, actually knew some calculus, thanks to his Muggle upbringing. A/N]

"Wait. That means I got a real family now!!!... Wait again. If there can be two Harry Potters, does it mean that there might be two Snapes here as well?!"

At this thought Harry began swiftly revolving on his axis, struggling for a panoramic view… Two pairs of unblinking green eyes met and blinked; and the time stopped breathing for a while, adjusting to the significance of the moment…

"What is that?!"

The thankfully solitary Snape was pointing his extremely long and hard, ebony black and elegant finger at Harry-in-the-Bag.

[Ok. So this was in fact Snape's wand, but people enjoy reading about his graceful hands so much... A/N]

Harry B. Potter #2 flinched ever so slightly before responding:

"Looks like an abandoned golden-red laundry bag to me."

"Looks like a stranded dirty-yellow submarine with a bespectacled periscope to me," thoughtfully countered Snape. "Oh, no... Don't say that they missed the Hogwarts Lake yet again... Honestly, those Durmstrang navigators..."

Harry B. Potter #2 nodded meekly.

"Ok. So, I am not saying that those Durmstrang navigators missed the lake yet again..."

But Snape was not listening anymore. He slowly but warily approached the faintly quivering artifact and not-quite-gently tapped three times the periscope's unruly head with his long, ebony hard and extremely elegant index finger.

[A genuine finger now. No more substitutes. A/N]

A loud metallic echo filled the corridor.

"Hello? Anybody home?"

"..."

"??" Snape raised one eyebrow.

" ..."

"?!" Snape raised a second eyebrow.

The submarine shuddered as if assaulted by an invisible storm. (Apparently, whoever was inside it, knew better than push their luck and wait for Snape to raise a third eyebrow). The pale and sweating 'periscope' whimpered slightly, before barking out, in a small and frightened commanding voice:

IH BIN LOST!!! NICHT FERSHTEIN!!! EH... DO YOU SPRECHEN SOME DOICH?

Thus spoken, the submarine went limp on the dirty floor, obviously exhausted from this outburst; its periscope hidden.

Harry B. Potter #2 stood very still, his eyes tightly screwed up, while Snape was warily appraising the boneless lumpy form underfoot.

"Hmm... I'm afraid I do have the rare displeasure to know the one and only one person capable for such an idiotic response... But since, unfortunately, you already are standing here beside me, Potter; I'm open for other suggestions..."

Harry B. Potter #2 flinched.

"Um... Eh... It might be-"

"I didn't say I'm open for your suggestions, Potter! Anyway, I've had had enough of your company for one evening - and for much, much more evenings to come, if you are able to catch such a subtle hint. Here, keep you wand. Far it be from me to take away the only sharp thing about you. See you much, much later..."

FUTURE, HERE I COME!!!

With that, Snape conjured a shimmering door in the thin air before him and walked inside, not sparing another glance to the Harry B. Potters happy reunion.

=xXx=

For a while none of the boys spoke. Then two pairs of unblinking green eyes met and blinked. Harry-Who-Came-with-Snape was the first to speak.

"Stop hiding in this stupid bag. I remember you are here!!!"

Harry-in-the-Bag cautiously poked his head out of his shelter.

"Are you me?"

"No, I'm bi."

"Oh... I see it now."

"Just kidding. Of course I'm me. I'm my future me. You're my past me."

"Oh... I see it now." Harry-from-the-Bag thought a bit.

"Why do you sound different?"

"That's because you can't hear your own voice properly. It reverberates within your thick skull and the resulting waves that come out..."

"Um?"

"Well, just remember, what you hear when you're speaking - this is your INNER voice."

"Eh... my what?"

"Your inner voice, moron! Oh well, if it's too much a burden for your vocabulary, just call it IN-VOICE".

"Oh... I see it now." Harry-from-the-Bag thought a bit more.

"If you are me than who am I?"

"Ha! You truly want to know?"

"Stop acting as if you are much smarter than me!!!"

"That's because I'm half-an-hour older than you-"

"Ha!!!"

"…and I've spent this half-an-hour with Snape."

"Oh... I see it now..."

He thought yet again.

"And why did you and Snape-"

"We had a lot to discuss."

"Me NEWTS?"

"You NUTS. Didn't you just overhear us talking?! He's my... your... our father. He's always been. He just doesn't care..."

"Oh... I see it now..."

Harry thought... Oh, forget about thinking. He just asked.

"And how do you know he's my-your-our father?"

"I overheard a secret conversation, while hiding in my own laundry bag."

"Oh, that must've been horrible! Can't imagine what I would do if I were in your place! ... Eh… Why are you looking at me like that?.."

Harry-who-came-with-a-Snape spoke very slowly and gently, as if dealing with a baby flobberworm.

"You. Have. Just. Been. In. This. Very. Bag."

"Did I?"

"Yes, my dear me. IT'S CALLED A TIME PARADOX."

"Oh... I see it now..."

"Whatever. Just don't go and try to kill him now."

"Didn't even cross my mind!"

"I know it didn't… yet…"

"…but now that you mentioned it..."

SNAPE!!! YOU… YOU CRAZY GLUE!!! WHERE ARE YOU?! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!! NOW!!!

Harry B. Potter #2 worriedly watched his younger self storm away, then, with a heavy sigh, bent down to pick up the neglected laundry. First things first…