Revised as a songfic
The Spawn of Satan or Thank God for Little Brothers
Chapter 5: Lost In Your Eyes
* * are for emphasis
Thoughts are in these thingies ~ ~
AN are Authors Notes
Standard Disclaimers Apply, so don't sue. (I'd be really upset if you did.)
Notes at the bottom, as usual. (I LUV being able to say that. I've actually written
enough to have things at the 'as usual' point. IT'S GREAT!!!)
* * * * *
I get lost
in your eyes
and I feel my spirits rise
and soar like the wind . . .
is it love that I am in?
* * * * *
He turned, moving slowly towards the door. With his hand on the knob, he
paused, and by a supreme effort of will, managed to choke out, "Sayonara, Usako."
Before he could fumble the door open and run from the room, warm arms
encircled him, holding him tight from behind. Mamoru went very still, and heard a
whispered, "Don't go," from Usagi as she clutched at him.
With hope rapidly rekindling in his heart, he turned in her embrace, bringing his
hands up to her shoulders. She buried her face in his shirt, shaking, and he didn't need to
feel the wetness on his skin to know that she was crying.
Conscious of her wounded side, he held her gently, letting her cry. Pulling her
closer, he breathed in the scent of her hair as he bent his neck to rest his head atop hers.
Gradually, her sobs eased off until she was quiet in his arms.
Neither spoke, each fearing to break the silence that had descended between them.
Mamoru only wanted to go on holding her forever, and Usagi was afraid she had just
made a complete fool of herself. Demo . . . she *had* heard him clearly when he'd called
her Usako. It wasn't more teasing or her mind playing cruel tricks on her. He had
feelings for her.
~Guess it's time to 'fess up~ she thought.
Full of hope and no little amount of fear, she pulled away from Mamoru's
comforting hold and gazed into his face.
Mamoru felt Usagi shift and looked down at her right as she looked up at him.
Their eyes met and held.
Usagi meant to speak, really she did – she didn't know quite what to say yet, but
she was determined to say *something* – until he turned those eyes on her. Midnight-
hued, deep enough to drown in, and Usagi's mind blanked out.
Mamoru was having the same problem. Her bright, crystalline-blue eyes had
captured his soul, and he felt himself being drawn in, in and down, to be swallowed up by
eyes still damp and sparkling with drying tears.
He leaned in close, closer, and felt her strain upwards to meet him, eyes half-
hooding as, hazily, his lips reached for hers.
* * * * *
I get weak
in a glance
Isn't this what's called romance?
. . . and now I know
'cause when I'm lost
I can't let go
* * * * *
The sharp rapping at the door had them springing apart like scalded cats. (AN:
BWAHAHAHA!!! Not quite yet, my friends. ^_~) Usagi brought a trembling hand to her
head, trying to shake off the stupor the near kiss had left her in. She knew she must be
blushing furiously. Glancing covertly, she hoped, at Mamoru, she was strangely satisfied
to see that he was just as red.
The knock came again, followed by, "Onee-chan, are you in there?" reminding
Usagi why she and Mamoru were now on opposite sides of the room in the first place,
instead of finishing what they had started.
~I'll have to kill Shingo later~ Usagi made a mental note before climbing back
into bed and calling, "Hai, come in."
The door opened and Shingo hobbled in on his crutches. He eyed them both
suspiciously. "What were you two doing in here?"
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing," Usagi babbled, blushing even harder. She didn't
dare even glance at Mamoru. "It's none of your business what I do in my room anyway,
Brat."
"Whatever, Usagi-baka." Shingo rolled his eyes at the ceiling. Finding out that
she was Sailor Moon didn't change the fact that Usagi *was* his sister. He had more
respect for her now, but figured it was better not to show too much of it, otherwise their
parents might think that that little bump on the head he took last night had scrambled his
brains or something.
"Mom wants to know if Mamoru-san will stay for dinner." Shingo changed the
subject, much to Usagi's relief. He didn't add, though, that it had been his idea.
"Oh, well, I-I . . . " Mamoru stuttered helplessly, having no clue what-so-ever
to say.
"Of course he'll stay." Usagi jumped at the chance to keep him there. She could
tell he was getting ready to make tracks, and headed off his escape as quickly as possible.
She wasn't done with him yet. "Besides, Papa said he wanted to 'meet the man who saved
his precious son and darling daughter.'" She giggled at recalling her father's exact words.
A pained expression crossed Mamoru's face, reminding Usagi that he blamed
himself for her injury, and she wanted to smack herself. Then she wanted to smack him
for thinking that way. Was she or was she not Sailor Moon?
"Shingo, go tell Mama he's staying."
* * * * *
I don't mind not knowing
what I'm headed for
You can take me to the skies . . .
It's like being lost in heaven
when I'm lost in your eyes
* * * * *
When Shingo was gone, Usagi began. "You did save us, you know. If you hadn't
been there . . . I don't know what would've happened."
Mamoru's lips tightened and he grimaced before speaking. "I should have done
more."
"Mamoru-baka, you listen to me." Usagi was starting to get angry. "Just because I
got hurt is no reason to blame yourself. So you're Tuxedo Kamen. SO WHAT?! If you had
become Tuxedo Kamen last night, who's to say that things would have been any
different? Something worse might have happened, did you think about that? It took all
the Senshi to beat that youma. If you had fought it by yourself, you, and possibly me and
Shingo as well, would probably be dead by now!" She was shouting at him now, the
passionate words rolling off her tongue in a flood, not noticing that Mamoru's face had
grown darker with each word she uttered.
"But I should have protected you!" he finally exploded, startling Usagi out of her
fury.
"It's my duty to protect you," he said more quietly. "You and the Senshi are the
only ones who have the power to fight the Dark Kingdom. You have to live to find the
Princess and defeat the enemy. I realized some time ago that my reasons for trying to
find the Princess and the Ginzuishou weren't the same as yours, but I do know we both
want to protect them. I also know that you are more powerful than I am. You and the
Senshi are the ones who can truly protect the Princess. I have to keep you alive so you
can."
"Oh," Usagi said in a small voice. "That's the only reason you've saved me
before? So I'll be alive to protect the Princess if and when we find her?"
"No, that's not – " began Mamoru, "I mean, yes, that's one of the reasons, but
there's more. There's so much more," he whispered, staring at Usagi's bowed head.
"More?" She peeked at him from under her lashes.
Mamoru fixed his gaze on the carpet at his feet. "I know you probably hate me
now – "
"No, I – " Usagi interrupted.
Mamoru raised a hand. "You're right. Gomen. I should know by now you're
incapable of that particular emotion. Nevertheless," he lowered his hand, "you certainly
can't trust me now, so I don't expect you to believe anything I say from this point on. But
you deserve to know that the real reason I've helped you as I have is because," he took a
deep breath, "I fell in love with you. At first I didn't understand what kept pulling me to
you," he rushed to explain, not giving Usagi a chance to respond. "Whenever you
became Sailor Moon, I felt it and knew I had to come help you as Tuxedo Kamen. When
I teased you or you crashed into me on the street, I was happy to see you even though I
didn't know why I felt that way. Then I realized that I loved you. Both of you. I fell in
love with Sailor Moon for her courage and determination, and I fell in love with Tsukino
Usagi for her love of life and her unshakable faith in people. I don't expect you to feel
the same way," he clenched his fists, gaze still attached to the carpet, "but I had to let
you know. I owe you honesty at the very least, though I haven't been very honest up 'til
now, I admit." He sighed. Bracing himself, Mamoru chanced a look at Usagi. He was
shocked at what he saw.
* * * * *
I just fell
Don't know why
Something's there we can't deny . . .
and when I first knew
was when I first looked at you
* * * * *
She was staring at him through the tears that coursed down her cheeks,
magnificent blue eyes wide with what he thought might be hope and . . . delight?
"You . . . love me?" she whispered breathily. "You're in love with me? All this
time?" She sounded incredulous. Gripping the bedcover with trembling hands, she asked
hesitantly, "Can . . . can one person be in love with what she thought were two different
people?" A tremulous smile crept across her lips.
"What do you mean?" Mamoru was confused. He didn't understand what he had
said that had made her cry. Now she was smiling at him and asking the very same
question he had asked himself countless times since he'd discovered his love for three
separate girls. What he had thought were three separate girls.
"I-I mean . . ." She paused to swallow her tears, scrubbing at her cheeks with
both hands. The smile coming more naturally, Usagi continued, "What I mean is, can
Tsukino Usagi be in love with Chiba Mamoru while Sailor Moon is in love with Tuxedo
Kamen?"
Mamoru's head felt light. He could swear that at that very moment, it was floating
several inches above his neck. He couldn't seem to catch his breath.
"You-you . . . what?" Mamoru was having trouble connecting two thoughts.
"I said, I love you, too." Usagi's smile widened at the state three little words
had put him in.
Mamoru raised a hand to his head. ~Yup, still there~ he confirmed. He moved to
the bed and sat down, staring into Usagi's eyes the whole time.
"Say that again," he demanded hoarsely.
"I love you." Usagi grinned.
She yelped as he made a sudden grab for her, sighed as she discovered being in
his arms was even better than her best daydreams, and held him back.
"You have no idea . . . " he murmured into her hair.
"No idea about what?"
"About how very much I've longed to hold you like this. To have you hold me
back." He squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his embrace.
"Only about as much as I did, I'm sure," she said dreamily.
He chuckled. "I guess that's true."
Usagi smiled gently, completely happy for the first time since she found out she
was Sailor Moon. All of a sudden, she heard music. Mamoru heard it at the same time
and they both glanced over at Usagi's bedside table, where, sitting in plain sight, was the
star locket Tuxedo Kamen had given Sailor Moon.
"This is – " Mamoru began, as he reached over and picked it up.
" – what you gave me that time," Usagi finished for him. He was staring at it, and
she placed her hand over the locket so they were both holding it. When he looked at her,
she said, "Now I understand why you gave me something so important to you." They
smiled at each other.
* * * * *
And if I
can't find my way
If salvation seems worlds away
oh, I'll be found
when I am lost in your eyes
* * * * *
Dinner passed uneventfully. Tsukino Kenji only grilled Mamoru a little. He was
attempting to be polite to the man who, his wife told him, had saved their children, but
it was hard to ignore the looks Mamoru and Usagi were exchanging over their plates.
Every time he opened his mouth to say something about it, though, Ikuko would give him
a discreet kick under the table, and steer the conversation in a new direction.
~Sometimes being married to one who knows you inside-out has its drawbacks~
Kenji decided.
After dinner, Usagi and Shingo were ordered to an early bedtime. Before he left,
Mamoru magicked up one of his special thornless roses and presented it to Usagi with a
flourish worthy of his alter ego. She giggled as she accepted it, lifting it immediately
to her face to inhale its sweet fragrance.
Conscious of the audience attempting to remain hidden around the corner,
Mamoru restrained his first impulse (AN: that is to say, taking Usagi in his arms and
kissing her 'til they both saw spots, and her family be damned), and instead trailed gentle
fingers across Usagi's cheek in farewell. While their gestures appeared, to those
watching, placid, even benign, their eyes were speaking of things not even this fanfic
writer would dare to note down.
Promising to return tomorrow, Mamoru made it out the door without taking any
action that might have cost him his life at the hands of Tsukino Kenji. Walking down the
street, he found it difficult to come to terms with all that had happened in just the last
two days. He was still having trouble grasping the fact that Usagi loved him. He'd never
believed something so wonderful could happen to him. It was the one thing Mamoru could
ever remember wanting, not just with his whole heart, but with his soul. The very essence
of his being cried out in joy just thinking about it. Recalling again the moment when
Usagi had said "I love you" to *him!* made Mamoru laugh aloud in sheer delight. He had
never been so happy.
* * * * *
I don't mind not knowing
what I'm headed for
You can take me to the skies
Oh it's like being lost in heaven
When I'm lost in your eyes
* * * * *
"It's good you seem to be enjoying yourself, for that's the last laugh you'll ever
have."
Startled, Mamoru's head whipped left towards the source of the mocking voice, to
find Zoisite hovering in the air not five feet away.
"Now that we know who you and Sailor Moon are – " Zoisite paused dramatically,
"Tuxedo Kamen, we of the Dark Kingdom can take care of you at our leisure."
"You're not going to touch Sailor Moon!" Mamoru barked angrily, seeing no use
in denial. He pulled out a rose and transformed on the spot. "How did you find out,
Zoisite?" demanded Tuxedo Kamen.
He laughed annoyingly. "Surely you noticed our last youma wasn't collecting
energy? Its sole purpose was to discover the identities of yourself and the Senshi. It
worked beyond all our expectations! Now I'll take those nijizuishou you possess. ZOI!"
Zoisite blasted him with a whirl of petals, which Tuxedo Kamen instantly fended off with
his cane.
Disengaging, he leapt away and launched a rose at Zoisite, who flickered out of
its path only to reappear to Tuxedo Kamen's right. The rose struck the fence of a house
on the other side of the street. Tuxedo Kamen cast a wild glance around the residential
area, seeing unlimited potential for disaster in the quiet of the night.
"Zoisite, stop!" he shouted. "If we fight here, someone may get hurt!"
"That's the whole idea! ZOI!" Another attack flew past Tuxedo Kamen and
knocked out a tree directly behind him. "You think I really care about the lives of pitiful
little humans?" Zoisite's laughter was high-pitched and cruel.
"Fine! You want the nijizuishou? Then follow me!" Tuxedo Kamen yelled. He
took off across the rooftops with Zoisite in hot pursuit.
* * * * *
I get weak
in a glance
Isn't this what's called romance?
Oh, I'll be found
When I am lost
in your eyes.
* * * * *
End Chapter 5
Applaud me, bow down and worship me, for I have accomplished the impossible. I have
typed this chapter up in one night. (WOOHOO!! YEAH! WAY TO GO MAIYAV! YOU
ROCK! YOU THE MAN, er, GIRL!!!) After reading some reeeaaalllyyy fantastic
e-mails, how could I not go the extra mile? So everyone should also bow down and
worship the ever sugoi Lady Spring, Grace McMoon, Crissy, Lelu, and anyone else who
even thought nice things about my fic. (You can hate me personally, I don't care, but
dump on my fic and I will track you down, wherever you might hide, and inflict serious
torture – I'll disconnect you from the Internet, then take my sledgehammer to your
computer. Just thought I'd make that clear. ^_^) OK, OK, I'm kidding! But, really, who
wants to be e-mailed only to be told so-and-so thinks your fic sucks, and who thought you
had talent anyway, blah, blah, blah? If you don't like it, suggest, *politely*, a few ideas
of your own that you think would make it better. Or better yet, write your own. That's what
I did. No, I won't tell you whose fic I disliked. You think I have a death wish? This has
never happened to me personally (and it better not happen ever), but it might save the
insulter and the insultee a whole lot of grief. I can just imagine it. The start of WW III
all because of a little e-mail. If anyone's left, we can call it 'The Great E-mail War'.
OK, I admit I am a sick and twisted individual. You trying to tell me you're not?
What did I want to say? Oh. Right. I may have typed this up on Friday, but the earliest
anyone's gonna see it is Tuesday. I beg God, the Devil, and my Mom time and again for
the Internet, but my pleas fall on deaf ears. Life can really suck sometimes.
Now, how did my notes section get so long? And hardly anything pertains to the story!!
sigh I do tend to babble on so. Wait! I do have *one* thing to say that concerns the
story: Was it mushy enough? I've been building up to this point for five chapters, I'd like
to know if I fulfilled at least the minimum requirements on my readers' mush scales.
That's all, except you might be interested in the fact that I'm working on a short story,
which I will not give *anyone* a preview of, so I don't know when chapter 6 will be out.
Fair warning. I've reached my goal of five chapters and won't commit to the next five 'til
the short's done. (Which is actually turning out to be quite long for a supposedly 'short'
story).
'If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, (and all is mended,)
That you have but slumber'd here,
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend;
If you pardon, we will mend.
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck,
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends, ere long:
Else the Puck a liar call.
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.'
~Shakespeare, 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'
Last Act, Last Scene, Last Lines. (It seemed to fit)
MaiyaV ^_~
maiyav@yahoo.com
Japanese Word Key:
Sugoi - 'Wow'/'Great'/'Fantastic'/'Awesome'/etc. when used in a positive manner.
'Horrible'/'Terrible'/'Awful'/ etc. when used in a negative manner. (So far, only positive
usage)
Demo - 'But'
********************************************************************
Additional notes:
I revised this chapter as a songfic to go with the songfic I have planned for Ch. 10. Sort
of a halfway marker and an end marker. Of course, I have to *find* the &%$# song first,
so . . . I got the idea after this chapter was posted, obviously. I thought it was a good
idea, and the song *really* fits, so I hope you like it. It is "LOST IN YOUR EYES" by
Debbie Gibson. YES! I admit to liking Debbie Gibson! I like '80's music period. But let's
not get into that now.