Echo Park, Los Angeles, 1987
It was around Leticia's sixth birthday that I knew she'd be a little hellion. She could speak both English and Spanish, run quicker than Raul and I, and could rattle off the names of every single Matchbox car in my old collection. She also had a mouth on her. Being Puerto Rican, she was outspoken and loud, both crass and sweet at the same time. And she followed me wherever I went.
Sometimes, I'd have to say, "Okay, Letty, it's time for you to go home now. I'll walk you home." Of course, she'd kick her skinny little legs and whine, but I'd simply pick her up, carry her down the street, kicking and screaming, and place her on her feet at the front stoop of the Rodriguez's house. By the time we'd get to her house, though, her screams and kicks would subside to sobs and little whimpers.
"But I wanna hang out with you all evening, Dom!" she'd cry.
That pretty much broke my heart. Leticia HAD two big brothers to hang with, but she never really bonded with Raul and Diego. Why did she want me so bad? I was just a stupid ten-year-old with frizzy hair and skinny arms.
Leticia followed me home after I hugged her goodbye that evening. I didn't realize it until I let myself in the back door and didn't hear it close. She was standing in the doorway, her face tear-streaked and her bottom lip quivering. I couldn't believe it. Instead of yelling, like I should have done, I went over to her and knelt down. I took her hand in my own.
"Letty," I began, as gently as I could, since she was ready to burst into tears again. "You need to stay at your house. You can't be here all the time, you know that. Your family would like you to be there."
"Don't you want me here, Dom?" she whispered. Well, I just choked right up and my heart shattered. Fat tears began rolling down my fourth-grade cheeks.
"Letty." My voice cracked. I took her in my arms and held her while she cried noiselessly, my own tears dripping onto the back of her Hulk Hogan t- shirt. Dammit.
Late that night, Leticia was snoring away in my bed and I was on the floor. This situation had become a habit. She'd start out in Mia's room, both of them in Mia's bed. Then she'd hear me come inside from being somewhere with Raul and run to my room before I got there. She'd jump in my bed and pretend to be asleep, just so she could be near me and know I was around to keep her safe.
I lay there, in my Oakland Raiders sleeping bag, baffled about what was happening with Leticia. I knew that Luz and Tito had been fighting a lot, and their marriage was falling apart before her eyes. Raul and Diego hardly paid attention to her, only to yell at her to get away from their things. I loved Letty so much, so damn much. She was my partner for everything. She'd kick my shins and tell me to stop arguing with my mom. She'd make sure the ice cream truck didn't pass my house without us getting something. And she accompanied me to our garage many times to watch Dad teach me about cars. I'd hear her laugh about something or cuss somebody out. She was fierce, a fighter. She never let one of the neighborhood punks pick on her. If they did, she'd do this wrestling move I taught her. I won't bother to repeat what it was, except that each kid left my yard cradling his nuts.
Sure, life at the Rodriguez house was hard for Leticia. Tito left every night to get wasted (hmmm, sounds familiar) and escape from Luz's yelling and crying. Letty had witnessed a lot in her young life. But I wasn't sure if I was the best person for Leticia to attach herself to. Mia would have been better. Mia was the sweetest person I knew. She was the same age as Letty, but Mia has always acted older than her age. Mia and Letty were friends, but Mia liked dolls and tea parties and playhouses. Letty liked riding bikes, building forts, and playing Cops and Robbers.
I felt unsettled as I turned over onto my side to fall asleep. I listened to her snores and realized that Raul was no longer my best friend. Letty was.
It was around Leticia's sixth birthday that I knew she'd be a little hellion. She could speak both English and Spanish, run quicker than Raul and I, and could rattle off the names of every single Matchbox car in my old collection. She also had a mouth on her. Being Puerto Rican, she was outspoken and loud, both crass and sweet at the same time. And she followed me wherever I went.
Sometimes, I'd have to say, "Okay, Letty, it's time for you to go home now. I'll walk you home." Of course, she'd kick her skinny little legs and whine, but I'd simply pick her up, carry her down the street, kicking and screaming, and place her on her feet at the front stoop of the Rodriguez's house. By the time we'd get to her house, though, her screams and kicks would subside to sobs and little whimpers.
"But I wanna hang out with you all evening, Dom!" she'd cry.
That pretty much broke my heart. Leticia HAD two big brothers to hang with, but she never really bonded with Raul and Diego. Why did she want me so bad? I was just a stupid ten-year-old with frizzy hair and skinny arms.
Leticia followed me home after I hugged her goodbye that evening. I didn't realize it until I let myself in the back door and didn't hear it close. She was standing in the doorway, her face tear-streaked and her bottom lip quivering. I couldn't believe it. Instead of yelling, like I should have done, I went over to her and knelt down. I took her hand in my own.
"Letty," I began, as gently as I could, since she was ready to burst into tears again. "You need to stay at your house. You can't be here all the time, you know that. Your family would like you to be there."
"Don't you want me here, Dom?" she whispered. Well, I just choked right up and my heart shattered. Fat tears began rolling down my fourth-grade cheeks.
"Letty." My voice cracked. I took her in my arms and held her while she cried noiselessly, my own tears dripping onto the back of her Hulk Hogan t- shirt. Dammit.
Late that night, Leticia was snoring away in my bed and I was on the floor. This situation had become a habit. She'd start out in Mia's room, both of them in Mia's bed. Then she'd hear me come inside from being somewhere with Raul and run to my room before I got there. She'd jump in my bed and pretend to be asleep, just so she could be near me and know I was around to keep her safe.
I lay there, in my Oakland Raiders sleeping bag, baffled about what was happening with Leticia. I knew that Luz and Tito had been fighting a lot, and their marriage was falling apart before her eyes. Raul and Diego hardly paid attention to her, only to yell at her to get away from their things. I loved Letty so much, so damn much. She was my partner for everything. She'd kick my shins and tell me to stop arguing with my mom. She'd make sure the ice cream truck didn't pass my house without us getting something. And she accompanied me to our garage many times to watch Dad teach me about cars. I'd hear her laugh about something or cuss somebody out. She was fierce, a fighter. She never let one of the neighborhood punks pick on her. If they did, she'd do this wrestling move I taught her. I won't bother to repeat what it was, except that each kid left my yard cradling his nuts.
Sure, life at the Rodriguez house was hard for Leticia. Tito left every night to get wasted (hmmm, sounds familiar) and escape from Luz's yelling and crying. Letty had witnessed a lot in her young life. But I wasn't sure if I was the best person for Leticia to attach herself to. Mia would have been better. Mia was the sweetest person I knew. She was the same age as Letty, but Mia has always acted older than her age. Mia and Letty were friends, but Mia liked dolls and tea parties and playhouses. Letty liked riding bikes, building forts, and playing Cops and Robbers.
I felt unsettled as I turned over onto my side to fall asleep. I listened to her snores and realized that Raul was no longer my best friend. Letty was.