AN: Hey guys! I just wanted to answer a review and thank a loyal reader of mine sooooo much for keeping up with Anima. Yes, the chapters have gotten a bit shorter lately, but it's actually because I was afraid they wouldn't be read if they were too long! *smacks head* Well, thanx so much for the good advice- I was having a bit of a problem seperating as well. Thank you so much for reading!
Chapter 7: In the Shadow of the Valley of Death
We were neurophobic and perfect,
The day that we lost our souls
Maybe if we weren't so human, but
If we cry,
We will rust.
And I was a hand grenade that
Never stopped exploding.
You were automatic,
And as hollow as the 'O' in God...
-"Mechanical Animals"
If I leave now I might get away.
It is still night as we walk across the sandy, empty arena. The damp air above me is like a lid. Like earth. I wish it would rain. A massive thunderstorm, rolling black clouds, ear-splitting lightning. I could be afraid then, I could share my fear because it was one that affected us all. I'd be let in. Now I could not, even the slightest, reveal my horror to this stone-faced General, who continued as if nothing had happened. Perhaps to him nothing had happened. He was a killer of men. I was not, for all my practice. How can he stand straight, his cloak billowing out behind him like the wings of a bat, his head proud as God, green eyes stoic and mechanical in their unwavering intensity? What drove him to keep his neck stiff and back straight while my truth weighs on me as heavy as stone and bone-chillingly cold, the kind of cold that wraps its icy sinews around your muscles so that you feel you'll never be warm again? If it was raining, I could focus on the lightning, white jagged streaks of light above. I would not have to see that face, still with death, change and mutate over and over again. The only white I will see from the sky is of angels, then, pecking and tearing at my eyes, outraged at my sin.
I feel buried.
I want to be reassured. I want to be comforted, consoled, held eve, I want to be told that it wasn't my fault, that freedom was never free, even if it was a lie, I want him here. I turn to the General...Sephiroth? And I open my mouth to speak, to say something, anything.
I should have known better, than to trust my voice. It has always been the most fickle of my aquiantences, having fled me several times when I needed it the most. I was silent, then, making no noise.
There is more than one kind of freedom. In the days of anarchy, it was freedom to and freedom given. Now I am being given freedom from.
Don't underrate it.
The world had moved on. I must move with it.
Sephiroth is silent, still. These men, we've been told, are like war criminals. It's no excuse what they've done in the past was legal and expected at the time: their crimes were retroactive. I do not feel any different about them than I do towards the crazy ones. Didn't. Maybe I do now. I do feel a change. I'm supposed to feel scorn and hatred. That's not what I feel. What I feel towards him is blankness. What I feel I must not feel. What I feel is partly relief, because he is not Sephiroth. He was not a General. Isn't.
"Where now?" I ask, my voice tired.
He looks at me strangely. One silver brow is arched. His face is illuminated by the moonlight and he looks devilishly handsome.
"I am going to fulfill my duty to Mother." he said, quite simply, as though stating something unbelievably simple, like, the sky is blue, or; I don't understand what the hell you're saying.
"Your...mother?" I ask, curious. He has a hypnotic voice. Rich, deep, and powerful. It is like the roll of distant thunder. I must be careful.
"It is no concern of yours, human. You have no part in this game any longer. Know that you have released the death of your world."
With that, he turned his back to me, and...
It took me several moments to try to figure out just what he was up to. I swear by everything that's holy, it looked like he was trying to fly.
Hm. Nothing was happening, though.
I felt my lip turn to a sort of hollow grin. He whirled around, one hand on his blade, silver hair whipping like soft platinum wires. His eyes burned into mine fiercely. "What is...what is going on?!" he demanded, as though I knew anything.
"What?" I said, the snide remark through my lips before I knew it. "Thought you'd just...up, up, and away?"
His jaw set tightly, he stalked over to me, and perhaps I would have been afraid. I should have been afraid at the devil staring me in the eye as he was now. But hell, we were already well aquainted by now. So I was not.
"I have always ben able to fly." He said, once again, matter-of-factly, as though the words coming out of his mouth weren't insane.
"And so now...you just can't?" I said. "Gained too much weight?"
The blade was out in a flash, far too fast for me to see it coming. I felt it's cool steel against my skin. "I can kill you now, worthless human. All those who stand in my way must be prepared to die. Do you not know who I am?"
I must have been tired. I must have not been thinking. Because I swear to you, I reached up and moved the blade away. This maniac ape was no better than I was.
"I make a point not too get to attatched to your kind. And you know what, I'd hate to put a black spot on my record." I took two staggering steps away. "What sort of name is Sephiroth, anyway? Sounds like some god damn slip of the tongue." I muttered under my breath.
"I am the child of Jenova, the Chosen One to have rule over this Planet and all in vengence upon you traitorous puppets..."
"You're not from this world, are you?"
"No." Is he...amused? Impressed? His blade has lowered and there is an expression in his eyes I have not seen before and I can not make out. It makes me angry.
"Well, we have one thing in common, then. I suppose you could fly in this other world?"
"I could destroy you without so much as lifting a finger."
"Then why haven't you done it already?"
He is silent. After a moment he seems to mutter to himself under his breath. "I could...but now..it seems all connected...since the day I met Ansem..."
"What did you say?!" I shout, my mind caught in silent explosion of white shock and horror. "Ansem? You know Ansem?"
Again that expression. Only now it becomes calculating, cold, conniving. "You have met?"
"That's where I'm going." I said. I hadn't realized it until now. "I have...business to finish with him."
"Well now..." Sephiroth said, his voice dropping, eyes slanting, almost seductive. He tooka a few lazy, wolf-like strides towards me, until he was inches from my face. "It seems we do have much in common." God, he was practically purring. "I, too, must find this...Ansem."
"What for?" I asked, suspicious.
"I could ask the same of you."
"None of your business."
"I'm glad we reached this little consensus, aren't you?"
"Whatever." I say, starting to walk. "I'm going to get a Ship."
"What for?"
"It's the only way to travel from world to world," I say, asking myself how the hell he didn't know. "They're parked outside these gates. Unless," I added with a smirk, "You can fly."
He frowned, but turned and began to walk towards the World Gates.
"Where...where do you think you are going?"
"I thought you had made the descision to take me to Ansem."
"We didn't decide anything! What's in it for me?"
He turned, his gaze piercing my own. Again that melodic, haunting voice. "As long as you're with me, I promise not to kill you." The smile that graces his handsome features is like a chain link fence and just as trecherous.
This time I shudder.
"Word of a lunatic. It's worthless." I mutter, but still I walk behind him, then leading, to the Gummi Ship that will take me away from this world. Traverse Town must be the first place to go.
I take one last, lingering look behind me, at the silent, cold, white, sterile prison that has worn me to a thing transparent and numb. Now I am free. It looks like freedom, but it feels like death. I guess it's just something in between.
***
I know I lost time.
There must have been needles, pills, something like that. I couldn't have lost that much time without help. YOu have had a shock, they said.
I come up through horrible noise, through roaring and confusion, and screaming, screaming until my lungs and throat were raw and I had nothing left and my screams came as whispers, like a ghost, "Where is he? What have you done with him?"
He's in good hands, they say. With people who are fit. You are unfit.
The show me a picture of myself and him. My face is a closed oval. My light hair is pulled back behind my head. This is a woman I do not know. That is not me.
You've killed him, I said. She looked like an angel, solemn, compact, made of air.
She was wearing a dress I'd never seen, white and down to the ground.
***
"We're nearing Traverse Town now." he says, and I look out the tiny window. There it is.
"Prepare for landing."
***
AN Stole my baby daddy: *huffs* I hope that was good enough! See you all soon! Next chapter- Sephiroth runs into a face he did not expect at Traverse Town. Things just might get ugly. And ALexiel gets a lead into the past that drove her away. >REVIEW< as always, tell me how I'm doing, any comments, flames, random deep thoughts about your mother's brother's sister's cousin's roomate's bay's daddy's dog who lived down the block welcome!
We were neurophobic and perfect,
The day that we lost our souls
Maybe if we weren't so human, but
If we cry,
We will rust.
And I was a hand grenade that
Never stopped exploding.
You were automatic,
And as hollow as the 'O' in God...
-"Mechanical Animals"
If I leave now I might get away.
It is still night as we walk across the sandy, empty arena. The damp air above me is like a lid. Like earth. I wish it would rain. A massive thunderstorm, rolling black clouds, ear-splitting lightning. I could be afraid then, I could share my fear because it was one that affected us all. I'd be let in. Now I could not, even the slightest, reveal my horror to this stone-faced General, who continued as if nothing had happened. Perhaps to him nothing had happened. He was a killer of men. I was not, for all my practice. How can he stand straight, his cloak billowing out behind him like the wings of a bat, his head proud as God, green eyes stoic and mechanical in their unwavering intensity? What drove him to keep his neck stiff and back straight while my truth weighs on me as heavy as stone and bone-chillingly cold, the kind of cold that wraps its icy sinews around your muscles so that you feel you'll never be warm again? If it was raining, I could focus on the lightning, white jagged streaks of light above. I would not have to see that face, still with death, change and mutate over and over again. The only white I will see from the sky is of angels, then, pecking and tearing at my eyes, outraged at my sin.
I feel buried.
I want to be reassured. I want to be comforted, consoled, held eve, I want to be told that it wasn't my fault, that freedom was never free, even if it was a lie, I want him here. I turn to the General...Sephiroth? And I open my mouth to speak, to say something, anything.
I should have known better, than to trust my voice. It has always been the most fickle of my aquiantences, having fled me several times when I needed it the most. I was silent, then, making no noise.
There is more than one kind of freedom. In the days of anarchy, it was freedom to and freedom given. Now I am being given freedom from.
Don't underrate it.
The world had moved on. I must move with it.
Sephiroth is silent, still. These men, we've been told, are like war criminals. It's no excuse what they've done in the past was legal and expected at the time: their crimes were retroactive. I do not feel any different about them than I do towards the crazy ones. Didn't. Maybe I do now. I do feel a change. I'm supposed to feel scorn and hatred. That's not what I feel. What I feel towards him is blankness. What I feel I must not feel. What I feel is partly relief, because he is not Sephiroth. He was not a General. Isn't.
"Where now?" I ask, my voice tired.
He looks at me strangely. One silver brow is arched. His face is illuminated by the moonlight and he looks devilishly handsome.
"I am going to fulfill my duty to Mother." he said, quite simply, as though stating something unbelievably simple, like, the sky is blue, or; I don't understand what the hell you're saying.
"Your...mother?" I ask, curious. He has a hypnotic voice. Rich, deep, and powerful. It is like the roll of distant thunder. I must be careful.
"It is no concern of yours, human. You have no part in this game any longer. Know that you have released the death of your world."
With that, he turned his back to me, and...
It took me several moments to try to figure out just what he was up to. I swear by everything that's holy, it looked like he was trying to fly.
Hm. Nothing was happening, though.
I felt my lip turn to a sort of hollow grin. He whirled around, one hand on his blade, silver hair whipping like soft platinum wires. His eyes burned into mine fiercely. "What is...what is going on?!" he demanded, as though I knew anything.
"What?" I said, the snide remark through my lips before I knew it. "Thought you'd just...up, up, and away?"
His jaw set tightly, he stalked over to me, and perhaps I would have been afraid. I should have been afraid at the devil staring me in the eye as he was now. But hell, we were already well aquainted by now. So I was not.
"I have always ben able to fly." He said, once again, matter-of-factly, as though the words coming out of his mouth weren't insane.
"And so now...you just can't?" I said. "Gained too much weight?"
The blade was out in a flash, far too fast for me to see it coming. I felt it's cool steel against my skin. "I can kill you now, worthless human. All those who stand in my way must be prepared to die. Do you not know who I am?"
I must have been tired. I must have not been thinking. Because I swear to you, I reached up and moved the blade away. This maniac ape was no better than I was.
"I make a point not too get to attatched to your kind. And you know what, I'd hate to put a black spot on my record." I took two staggering steps away. "What sort of name is Sephiroth, anyway? Sounds like some god damn slip of the tongue." I muttered under my breath.
"I am the child of Jenova, the Chosen One to have rule over this Planet and all in vengence upon you traitorous puppets..."
"You're not from this world, are you?"
"No." Is he...amused? Impressed? His blade has lowered and there is an expression in his eyes I have not seen before and I can not make out. It makes me angry.
"Well, we have one thing in common, then. I suppose you could fly in this other world?"
"I could destroy you without so much as lifting a finger."
"Then why haven't you done it already?"
He is silent. After a moment he seems to mutter to himself under his breath. "I could...but now..it seems all connected...since the day I met Ansem..."
"What did you say?!" I shout, my mind caught in silent explosion of white shock and horror. "Ansem? You know Ansem?"
Again that expression. Only now it becomes calculating, cold, conniving. "You have met?"
"That's where I'm going." I said. I hadn't realized it until now. "I have...business to finish with him."
"Well now..." Sephiroth said, his voice dropping, eyes slanting, almost seductive. He tooka a few lazy, wolf-like strides towards me, until he was inches from my face. "It seems we do have much in common." God, he was practically purring. "I, too, must find this...Ansem."
"What for?" I asked, suspicious.
"I could ask the same of you."
"None of your business."
"I'm glad we reached this little consensus, aren't you?"
"Whatever." I say, starting to walk. "I'm going to get a Ship."
"What for?"
"It's the only way to travel from world to world," I say, asking myself how the hell he didn't know. "They're parked outside these gates. Unless," I added with a smirk, "You can fly."
He frowned, but turned and began to walk towards the World Gates.
"Where...where do you think you are going?"
"I thought you had made the descision to take me to Ansem."
"We didn't decide anything! What's in it for me?"
He turned, his gaze piercing my own. Again that melodic, haunting voice. "As long as you're with me, I promise not to kill you." The smile that graces his handsome features is like a chain link fence and just as trecherous.
This time I shudder.
"Word of a lunatic. It's worthless." I mutter, but still I walk behind him, then leading, to the Gummi Ship that will take me away from this world. Traverse Town must be the first place to go.
I take one last, lingering look behind me, at the silent, cold, white, sterile prison that has worn me to a thing transparent and numb. Now I am free. It looks like freedom, but it feels like death. I guess it's just something in between.
I know I lost time.
There must have been needles, pills, something like that. I couldn't have lost that much time without help. YOu have had a shock, they said.
I come up through horrible noise, through roaring and confusion, and screaming, screaming until my lungs and throat were raw and I had nothing left and my screams came as whispers, like a ghost, "Where is he? What have you done with him?"
He's in good hands, they say. With people who are fit. You are unfit.
The show me a picture of myself and him. My face is a closed oval. My light hair is pulled back behind my head. This is a woman I do not know. That is not me.
You've killed him, I said. She looked like an angel, solemn, compact, made of air.
She was wearing a dress I'd never seen, white and down to the ground.
"We're nearing Traverse Town now." he says, and I look out the tiny window. There it is.
"Prepare for landing."
AN Stole my baby daddy: *huffs* I hope that was good enough! See you all soon! Next chapter- Sephiroth runs into a face he did not expect at Traverse Town. Things just might get ugly. And ALexiel gets a lead into the past that drove her away. >REVIEW< as always, tell me how I'm doing, any comments, flames, random deep thoughts about your mother's brother's sister's cousin's roomate's bay's daddy's dog who lived down the block welcome!