Chapter Two: Dodge This!

"Glad to see you could join us." someone snottily greeted the sennen pair, the haughty tone sounding hauntingly familiar to Yugi and Pharaoh. "We missed you during the starting arrangement."

Shifting his vision to the right, the petite student was struck by a most terrible vision. Displaying for Mutoh his most arrogant smirk, Kaiba made an extra effort to fiddle with the tie laced around his neck. The shorter adolescent knew what the exaggerated gesture meant. More or less, it was another subtle insult to him and his yami, one that probably held the rude connotation of, "Look what I can be seen in, you pathetic loser. When are you going to accept that I'm better than you?" That was vintage Seto for the gothic-haired couple, though. KaibaCorp.'s internationally-known CEO never ceased to flaunt his style, strut from one end of the city to another like he was God's gift to creation, or wave his wealth in front of the faces of people who were less fortunate in life then he was--with Yugi being at the top of his list to offend, of course. Whenever the two classmates happened to cross paths, the brown-haired executive rambled continuously about how life in the clouds was, how he was the top-ranking officer in their grade, just illustrating the fine points of his famous existence so haughtily that his peer had to swallow large amounts of vomit just to keep himself conscious. On some occasions, the blue-eyed teen would lean over his colleague's desk in school, proudly showing off another exam of the "A+" caliber. A score like that was so unbearably high that the gothic-haired male felt like turning one of Joey's wicked little idea's into reality--namely the fantasy where he would light a match underneath Seto's paper, waiting for the moment when the briefcase-wielding twit himself would catch fire.

Jounouchi was so good at concocting schemes to make the spoiled brat regret ever messing with his friends, pranks that ranged from minor jokes to actual plots of outrageous juvenile delinquency. Yugi recalled the comical instance where Jou stuck a sign on Kaiba's back, right before the snobby adolescent was going to the blackboard. Gliding towards to front of the classroom, the brown-haired CEO didn't even notice the huge sheet of notebook paper plastered to his backside, flapping in the breeze created by the ceiling fan. Attempting to use his professional skills to charm their instructor, the blue-eyed boy calmly demonstrated his expertise in mathematics, organizing the data in a clear and simple fashion for everyone to read and understand. Working the equation in his usual systematic way, he paused when he heard a few giggles reach his ears. He probably summed it up to good ole Katsuya, trying to hit on the girls while he was hard at work solving the calculus statement. Commanding himself to focus on what he was doing, the blue-eyed boy didn't even glance over his shoulder. Moments later, some of the other students joined in the laugh parade, adding their particular chuckles and gestures to the mix. Somewhat bothered by the peculiar response to arithmetic, Seto shot a worried look at his professor. All the male educator did was smile encouragingly, display his palms, and push his hands back and forth before turning his attention to the mounds of essays left to be reviewed. Dismissing the second vocal outburst, the tall executive began scratching numerals and equals signs with chalk again. Somehow, he was able to remain very poised and unruffled, even through the sporadic bursts of hilarity. Extremely tranquil indeed, until the voice of one of his most hated adversaries piped up--

"Man, he's so freakin' clueless!" a tone rich in slang blurted out, amused with Seto's exhibit of odd serenity.

Looking over his shoulder, the brown-haired boy was confronted with the most idiotic grin he had ever seen, spread across the mouth of someone who he could barely bring himself to tolerate: Joey Wheeler. Finally, the wealthy businessman allowed his features to show a hint of emotion. Too bad it was only fictitious self-assurance.

Throwing the blond a smug smirk, the CEO stated coolly, "Yes, that's just about what everyone believes you are when it comes to this subject." Letting his pretentious smile grow, he amended his previous assertion with an even bitter remark. "No, let's make that every topic in learning."

"Hey, true 'dat." agreed Wheeler, flashing a peace sign at his classmate good-naturedly.

"Dim-witted and proud of it." mumbled the blue-eyed male pompously, loud enough for all contained within the four walls of the lab to listen to.

"Maybe so." reasoned Katsuya, who still seemed very pleased with himself about something. "But at least I'd be smart enough to know what was on my own clothes."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Shrugging mysteriously, the honey-haired male replied, "I guess you haven't discovered out our lil' secret yet, huh?"

By "our," Seto knew that he was referring to the student body as a whole. Aggravated with the guessing games, the teen at the chalkboard snapped, "You couldn't keep something to yourself if your life depended on it."

"Which is why I can't bring myself to damage that record now."

"Spit it out, already! Why are you still smiling at me like some mischievous child who is up to something--" As soon as he said those words, the brown-haired boy's face grew serious. That was it! That was it all along! Joey was up to something! The blond prairie dog had really stuck it to him somehow! But how? What could the barking mutt have been able to pull while he was laboring over the algebra equation?

"What did you do, Jounouchi?" demanded Kaiba, no longer in the mood for being the focal point of amusement for the class. "Tell me! What have you done?"

"Me?" asked the sunny male, his amber orbs twinkling with innocence. "Naw, I'm not the one ya should be askin' that of."

"Then who should I be questioning, Katsuya?"

"Yourself." Joey answered in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. "I mean, do ya gotta prance around tellin' everyone ya bedroom habits? Get real, man! I thought ya knew no one wanted to hear that sorta stuff!"

"Oh, shut up Jounouchi!" ordered the wealthy executive, glaring at his peer harshly, "I don't even know what you're talking about--"

Out of the corner of his eye, the blue-eyed male caught a glimpse of the motions one of his peers was making. A white-haired student had lifted a piece of paper and patted his rear, indicating that Seto had something on a disturbing location on him. Hoping that the dark-eyed student was wrong, Kaiba squeezed his lids together and reached behind himself. His fingers grasped a smooth, rectangular object, similar to the one that Ryou was signaling to him with. Angrily, the professional pupil plucked the message from his posterior, reading the letters scrawled in permanent marker. Not even halfway through viewing the note, the sapphire-eyed student glowered threateningly at the one whom he knew was responsible for arriving at such ill-mannered literature to post on him.

"What?" asked Joey, clearly amused by the expression of rage distorting Seto's features, "I told ya people wouldn't like knowin' you're lil' sex romps, but you didn't believe me!"

"You're right, I don't believe you!" shouted Kaiba, losing his composure at last. "How could you write something like that?"

"With this and this." answered Wheeler simply, holding up the marker and printer sheets at his desk, the devices used to produce humiliating effects from his arch rival. "Geez, Kaiba boy! Don't ya at least know what writing utensils are? Maybe you're not so gifted and talented after all!"

Incapable of handling the intense racket in his classroom, the Calculus instructor nearly jumped out of his seat. The entire lecture hall watched as a very upset man fumbled from behind his desk and almost toppled over his own feet, trying to get in front of his students as quickly as possible.

When he had reached his desired destination, he threw his arms in the air and demanded, "I'm at my seat, reading the essays that you turned in, and all of a sudden, everyone starts laughing like a bunch of madmen! What is going on here--"

Violently, Seto shoved the rude letter he had into his teacher's grasp, his cheeks flushed with unspoken fury. Startled at the ferocious presentation of emotions, the instructor adjusted his glasses and flipped the paper out in front of himself. Taking in his prized student's mixed feelings, the professor vocalized the content of the terribly formed words.

" 'Kiss me, Teach, since I swing that way!' " read the educator, furrowing his brow as he spoke. " 'I'm a teacher's pet with advantages--' " Raising his eyebrows in shock, the man thoroughly understood the suggestive undertones in the note. Turning a shade of scarlet darker than the student beside him, the teacher roared, "Joey! How many detentions do I have to assign you before you stop harassing my pupils?!"

"Hey!" retorted the blond, his amber orbs glittering with mock hurt, "I'm guilty without even bein' charged yet! It may not have even been me who pulled that!"

"Who else would dare to "pull" such a deranged stunt?"

"I dunno, Ryou maybe?" suggested the honey-haired comedian, attempting not to let a smile break out in this severe circumstance. "It's always the quiet ones who do the most messed up stuff."

All eyes shifted to the fair-skinned, brown-eyed boy in the back of the class, scribbling some notes in a spiral. Blushing fiercely at Joey's light-hearted accusation, the white-haired male didn't dare to look up from his assignment. He just went on about his business, hoping that the class would stop staring at him so intently.

"Okay, alright!" laughed the amber-orbed teen, unable to keep the chuckles from erupting in his mouth. "Maybe it was me." Breathing a sigh of relief, the spirit of the ring's hikari was capable of holding his pen at a steady angle without shaking again. "Fine, fine, it was me! Ya got me--"

"Damn straight it was!" Kaiba cursed through clenched teeth, a look of cold-blooded murder flaring in his stormy sea eyes.

"All right!" shouted the teacher, holding his hands up in front of his chest. "Enough is enough! Katsuya Jounouchi, Kaiba Seto, come with me! The rest of you are to stay seated until I return!"

Grabbing both pupils by the arm, the male educator marched out of the room with the two boys struggling in his grasp.

"Hey, do ya think the principal's gonna give us a lollipop this time, Teach?" Joey asked, smiling with the enthusiasm of a child.

"If she knows what's good for you, maybe she'll finally give you a punishment that will bring all of your illiterate pranks to an end." was all the angry teacher could arrive at, eyeing his pupil frigidly.

"Why am I going with both of you?" wailed Kaiba, thrashing in his educator's clutches. "I didn't do anything! This mangy animal did!"

"Don't tell me ya forgot about the major codes of conduct already, Mr. Perfect." taunted Joey, enjoying his fifteen minutes of fame.

"Which would be…?"

"Zero-tolerance for bad lingo." informed Wheeler, appearing to be very happy with himself. His smirk widened as Kaiba's dark expression spread. "That means ya can't swear at whoever ya feel like an' get away with it." With a smug smirk, the blond added, "No matter how many greenbacks you own, ya ain't getting' outta this one, Kaiba boy."

Right before the bold street tough was escorted out of class, he winked at Yugi, an enigmatic symbol that denoted that he would put his ass on the line continuously for the gothic-haired kid, just to show him how much he cared. Just before his head disappeared in the doorway, Jounouchi flashed his trademark peace sign once more, but it meant far more then than it usually did. The gesture was for victory, a small battle that was won against the arrogant bitch of Domino High. It was a gesture that proved that money didn't always bring people happiness, especially those who attempted to destroy other's egos just to build their own up. Not only that, but the silly little action was also a symbol of their friendship, comrades who didn't give a flip who tried to tear them down, but did care about those who suffered the most from brats like Kaiba and ventured out to set things right.

"Dude, we finally won one!" Yugi heard Joey blast out of his mouth like a battle cry, his voice echoing throughout the hallways at their school.

At that moment in his life, revenge never felt sweeter for the petite adolescent. Little did Seto and their teacher know that he planned out the whole dastardly deed, getting Joey to perform it that day just to bring the spoiled little snob to his senses.

Snapping back to the present day and time, the shorter teen warned, "Don't start with me, Kaiba. You never know what I'll put Joey up to next."

Paling at the vivid memory, the brown-haired boy replied, "He wouldn't want to do that. Not after the suspension he received from the office."

"You want to test me and find out if that's true or not?"

Without even giving a second thought to the matter, the sapphire-eyed teen shook his head.

Smiling triumphantly, Yugi asked, "That's great, I'm glad we finally understand each other now." Scanning the benches, the shorter child's purple-pink orbs glanced over the array of visitors present. "Where's Ryou and Bakura?"

"You mean Beauty and the Beast?" asked Kaiba, tilting his head to the side. Casually, he pointed to a cluster of chairs at the very back of the church. "Right over there, next to the stained glass windows."

"Why so far back?" the spiky-haired boy wondered aloud, cocking an eyebrow in astonishment. "Ryou normally likes top billing by the ministers."

"Maybe he's providing his yami an easy way out if they can't stomach being together in the same room."

"Too true." sighed the child with black, blond, and red tresses, slumping his shoulders slightly. Somewhere along the line, he was sure that his light-featured friend had used the same gesture more than once--particularly when he was dealing with his quarrelsome alter ego. "I don't think he'll let Bakura make that much of a scene, though."

Seto threw his classmate a challenging look, arching his brow in a dubious manner. "You do realize who we're talking about, right?"

A light shade of pink colored Yugi's cheeks, a hazy tint that even covered the base of his neck. "He'll be fine, I'm sure." the petite child stated with carefully chosen words, praying that he wouldn't spread any ill will in the sacred domain. "His hikari won't stand for any--misconduct, I suppose."

"You sound like Mr. Hangashi." accused the brown-haired boy, a slight smile creeping up on his lips.

"Do not!"

"Do so. He always uses words like that, particularly when he has to discipline Jounouchi."

Desperately searching for a new topic to discuss, the gothic-haired boy asked, "Speaking of which, where is Jou? I haven't seen him since yesterday morning."

Stretching his hand in front of himself, the sapphire-eyed individual folded his fingers inward. "Rumor has it he overloaded his tolerance levels and consumed enough beverages to tranquilize an elephant. So," Studying his perfectly filed nails, the CEO flexed the limbs before setting them down in his lap once more. "he ultimately took shelter in a colleague's residence for some rest and relaxation."

"What?" inquired the shorter teen edgily, shocked by the information he received.

"You don't get what I just said?" Lifting a corner of his mouth in a sneer, Kaiba commented, "Honestly, Yugi, you're acting more and more like that gutter snipe Wheeler every time I see you. Maybe you should stop seeing him for a while so I can teach you some more sophisticated--"

"Ways to get retribution on overconfident attention-seekers who delight in harassing their fellow contemporaries?" offered the male with purple-pink orbs, regarding his cohort calmly. Tilting his head towards the ceiling, he scratched his neck in an exaggerated fashion. Peering down at his rival, he relished the dark expression he saw. "I didn't realize that I needed to upgrade any of my tactics, but I guess I could use some constructive criticism. Since you've already seen firsthand what my conspiracies are capable of, do you have any suggestions on how to improve them?"

Inwardly shuddering at the thought of being a walking billboard for their class again, the executive retorted, "Don't worry, Yugi, that little mishap in school will come back on you someday."

"Yeah, like when?" snorted the petite adolescent contemptuously, challenging Kaiba to follow through with his threat.

Shrugging carelessly, the brown-haired boy distracted himself with an exquisitely painted window. "You never know, the Lord works in mysterious ways."

Catching the hint of a smile spreading across the CEO's mouth, the indigo-eyed male inquired, "Just what is that supposed to mean? Out of everyone here, I'm willing to bet you're the only one who doesn't practice what they preach!"

"At least I'm willing to admit that much." Before Yugi could denounce his statement, the blue-eyed male added, "Speaking of the word "preach", I believe you're going to end up using that term more times than you can say the "Hail Mary."

Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, the shorter teen turned his head to see what his adversary was gazing so intently at. It wasn't the beautiful composition of glass the businessman was viewing, but a certain individual with red, black, and blond tresses that was conversing with another familiar figure--or so it seemed. Stealing up closer to get a better look, the high school boy gaped in horror at what he saw. There, standing over a basin of liquid on the wall, were Pharaoh and Bakura, the two millennium spirits flicking the clear substance on their hands at each other.

"Take that!" cried Yami, throwing some more of the runny material at the white-haired person. "I betchya can't get me back!"

Grinning wildly, the spirit of the ring blocked the light shower with his trench coat. "Missed me!" he sang loudly, repeating the lyrics of an old, obnoxious rhyme. "Missed me, missed me! Now you have to kiss me!"

Sticking out his tongue, the king of the Nile made a terrible face. "I'd rather make-out with Seto than you!"

"He is a hottie, isn't he?"

"Oohh, you self-proclaimed hentai! Is there no indecent boundary on this earth that you haven't crossed yet?"

Taking a much-needed breather, the pale-faced demon closed his eyes. Placing a finger on his chin, he appeared to be in deep thought, contemplating the depth of his playmate's words. "Well," he said, stroking his visage, "there is one line that I'll never cross."

"And what's that?" questioned Yugioh, somewhat astounded that the tomb robber before him had any morals or scruples.

"This is something I will never, ever, in my whole existence, on my hikari's life, that I won't do--"

"Which is?"

"Kiss you." answered the millennium spirit callously, displaying the full length of his evil smile for Yami. "Not in this lifetime, or in another one, or even in my nightmares will I ever--"

Slamming his limbs down into the cold fluid on the doorframe, the spirit of the puzzle made sure to get every inch of his skin wet. After all, the tomb robber had the onslaught of rain coming to him. No one called the Egyptian king unattractive and got away with it.

Recalling a famous line from one of his favorite movies, the ruler of the Nile threw the daring phrase at his ally.

"Dodge this." Pharaoh ordered, unleashing a jet of water at his opponent.

And that's exactly what the lilac-eyed male did--except he had no way of knowing that his defensive maneuver would draw an innocent bystander into their brawl.